GOODMAN TAGGING PUNISHMENT PLAN BACKFIRES
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (MSNBC)...No longer threatening to lop off thumbs, Sin City mayor Oscar Goodman went from mob to medieval this summer, implementing a face-painting penalty for people caught "tagging" in Las Vegas. Under the new plan, taggers are placed in public stockades and passers-by are permitted to "dab paint" on the offenders’ faces. But four weeks into the NCAA season and three into the NFL campaign, that strategy is being reconsidered as football fanatics from around the entire country have been flocking to Las Vegas and blatantly spray-painting the beloved desert tortoise statues that stand guard below the Vegas freeways in order to be caught and have people dab their faces with their respective favorite teams’ colors! Fans from as far away as New England have managed to get leaked information right from the mayor’s office about the colors scheduled for use each day as much as a week in advance and plan their trips accordingly. Violators have been seen actually standing in line behind other taggers, spray-cans in-hand, awaiting their turns. Mayor Goodman said he would now have to take counter-measures by determining randomly each morning which colors would be used or by providing the public with colors for arch-rival teams after making the offenders declare a favorite club!
Week Four’s 10-10-1 (29-41-3, .414) leaves Vindicator feeling that guy in the beer commercial being trained by the ancient master to never spill a Bud Light...you know... "AGAIN!"...
THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 5 FORECAST
(Vindy’s Picks are typed up in front of a live studio audience)
THURS. SEPT. 28
SOUTH CAROLINA over #2 Auburn taking 14: Tigers definitely showed wear-and-tear of LSU game, not getting untracked until second half against improving-but-still-outclassed Buffalo squad. Spurrier may not have the talent base (yet) to win outright, but we’ll expect the ‘Cocks to go all out and make it interesting ...Auburn 17 SC 7
#17 TCU over Brigham Young giving 5: Toads will field same pass D here that they used to stuff Texas Tech air attack. Coogs might be the one team with enough firepower to unseat TCU in the Mountain Jest conference (though pesky Pilots team awaits the Frogs in December). BYU playing second game in five days. Frogs last played a week ago Thursday...TCU 28 BYU 17
FRI. SEPT. 29
#23 Rutgers over SOUTH FLORIDA giving 3: Scarlet Kaaaaannnigggetttts get a "#" for the first time in 30 years! Bulls win about two outta’ every three at home, but don’t cover the number that well. USF has already beaten ‘05 MAC title-game participant Central Florida and didn’t play badly in close loss to Kansas. Knights looking to get payback for last year’s two TD loss that came as a result of very sloppy play...State Uni of New Joisey 24 USF 17
SAT. SEPT. 30
#13 IOWA over #1 Ohio State taking 7: The OSU-PSU game was a lot closer than final score would indicate as Buckeyes returned two desperation passes for TD in the final two minutes to cover the number. Vindy hopes there’s a big, fat check in the da’ mail for Penn State’s Anthony Morelli. Vindy picks this one under protest and at no extra charge, we’ll try the upset...Iowa 23 OSU 20
#3 Southern Cal over WASHINGTON STATE giving 17: Troy waltzed all over Wazzou last year in a 42-point victory. Allowing for a few adjustments, returning/leaving players and homefield for the Cougars, we see the margin in the 30's this time...USC 44 Dubya State 13
#4 West Virginia: IDLE (Next @ Mississippi State)
Alabama over #5 FLORIDA taking 14: Gators were #5 this time last year too when Tide trashed ‘em 31-3. ‘Bama couldn’t take advantage of Arkansas’ freshman quarterback and a +2 turnover advantage. Both of Florida’s SEC wins have been uninspired...UF 17 Alabammy 13
#6 Michigan over MINNESOTA giving 7 ½: While not as good as road blowout over Notre Dame would suggest, Wolverines should certainly be able to keep about a 10-point buffer between themselves and the Gerbils. If Minny isn’t careful coming out, this could get away early...Big Blue 27 Gophers 17
Sam Houston State @ #7 TEXAS: No line. (And we ain’t crushed about that.)
#8 Louisville: IDLE (Next @ Middle Tennessee State)
#9 LSU over Mississippi State giving 30: Don’t know how the hapless Bulldogs pulled the OT upset at UAB. They’ll be fortunate to dent the scoreboard this week. Only caveat is pending visit by the Gators next week...LSU 44 MSU 3
#10 Georgia over MISSISSIPPI giving 16: We thought about giving this one "lock" status. Following scare from disappointing Buffaloes, Richt will have the ‘Dawgs focused here. Joja’s thrown two white-washes already. Might be a third here...Georgia 24 Ol’ Missed 0
#24 Georgia Tech over #11 VIRGINIA TECH taking 8 1/2: Bees have had since last Thursday night’s win over Virginia to plan for this. GT nearly toppled Notre Dame, but Irish look more and more over-rated. Hokies squeaked by the line against Duke and did not cover last week against Cincy. Looks like a great chance for Reggie Bell to choke in another big game. Tech wants to avenge 51-7 clobbering it got last season...VT 17 GT 16
Purdue over #12 NOTRE DAME taking 17: Frightenin’ Irish continue look entirely beatable each week. Boilers and Gophers were virtually even in every category except turnovers. Ball State loss to I-AA North Dakota State makes Purdue’s 10-point victory over the Cardinals that much less impressive. We find out here what the Boilermakers really have...ND 31 Purdue 24
#14 Oregon over ARIZONA STATE giving 1 ½: ASU coaches got bad news earlier this week when they were informed the officiating crew would forego the traditional black and white uniforms in favor of green and yellow ones! Expecting masses of passes....Decoys 34 Devils 31
#15 Tennessee over MEMPHIS giving 15: Tigers haven’t defeated a I-A team yet thus far. Vols break a six-game ATS-loss streak in their first road tilt of the season...Tennessee 34 Memphis 17
#16 Oklahoma: IDLE (next vs. Texas)
#18 CLEMSON over Louisiana Tech giving 31: Just can’t find any reason to back the Bulldogs here. Tigers get in a little target practice before facing Demon Deacons in Winston-Salem next week...Clemson 49 LT 10
#19 Florida State: IDLE (Next @ NC State 10/5)
#20 California over OREGON STATE giving 10: Another game considered for lock. Line appears somewhat smaller than Vindicator expected. Even with potential letdown by ‘Da Bears from the ASU game, Beavers have done nothing to garner this type of support...Cal 28 Oregon State 7
#21 NEBRASKA over Kansas giving 15 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. After floundering a couple seasons under Bill Callahan, Big Red seems to have it all figured out. At least they’re blasting teams they should be blasting. Fightin’ Manginos are just slidin’ by week to week...Nebraska 31 Kansas 3
#22 Boise State over UTAH taking 4: Vindicator was on Hawaii in Boise-Land last week for sure, but Potato-Heads might’ve been in bend-but-don’t-break mode, taking 13-point edge into the final period. Boise’s race to the BCS gets derailed, just not this time...Broncos 27 Utes 13
Colorado over #25 MISSOURI taking 19: Buffaloes finally showing some life, though haven’t learned how to close out a game. Nonetheless, we like Colorado’s 0-4 record better than Mizzou’s 4-0. Tigers might just overlook Bison toward next week’s game at Texas Tech...Mizzou 20 Colorado 10
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Just a follow-up to Week Four’s presidential dinner story. Coach Saban reportedly forgot his wedding anniversary this past summer. Hmmmm...just wondering if Mrs. Saban had a chat with the Vice President about issuing a little payback!
With his Lions backed up in their own territory early in the second quarter vs. the Buckeyes, JoPa suddenly sprinted from the far sideline, behind the PSU formation, across the end zone and down the tunnel into the locker room. Broadcasters eventually reported Joe was suffering from "flu-like symptoms". Vin just wants to know which assistant coordinator was responsible for apprizing Paterno about the whole "spinach" thing! NFL scouts clocked the ancient coach at a sub-4.4 forty and may invite Joe to next year’s Combine! Vindy wondered if JoPa just thought the half was over or if he would actually turn up-field toward the line of scrimmage as a man in motion, a la Arena League rules! Officials nearly flagged the Nitwit Lions for 12-men on the field!
Astronauts recently completed construction of a 17 ½ ton addition to the International Space Station. NASA says that brings the seating capacity to over 110,000 fans and it plans to add luxury suites by the 2008 season!
On ABC Family...an alien with no bellybutton uses his tummy as a chalkboard and draws up plays for the local high school football team in..."Kyle X’s and O’s"
Terrell Owens racked up over 100 yards this past weekend...then coaches chased him off the stationary bike! By the way, does T.O. now stand for "Tried Overdose"???!!
The city of San Francisco uses bluegills to provide early detection of toxins in its drinking water supply. Maybe Vin should get an aquarium and let his picks float.
The Transportation Security Administration is relaxing restrictions for carry-ons aboard aircraft. Can’t wait to see team staffers load up all those 3-ounce Gatorade buckets!
Coming soon to the big screen...Sean Connery stars as a bookie with lines for all of next month’s games aboard a Russian submarine being pursued by the Vindicator in..."Hunt for Spread October"!
"Wish I Had That One Back": Vindy shoulda’ thought twice on the Auburn pick after noting he’d "feel better...if Auburn had lost to LSU".
"Locked in a Box?": Big Red’s 59-0 romp over Troy bumps Vin’s lock tally to 3-1.
Shoppe Talk: Vindicator adds a little Steer meat to his Irish stew as Notre Dame and Texas earn the inside track to Vindy’s post-season "Grill-Master Supreme Award" after burning our fearless forecaster four straight weeks!
Vindy’s Week 5 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 8-9 (.470)
PENN STATE -16 ½ over Northwestern, Nevada-Reno -3 over UNLV, Navy +3 over UCONN, Idaho -2 ½ over UTAH STATE, Eastern Michigan +3 ½ over UL-LAFAYETTE