Vindy's Picks

Vindy's 2011-12 Bowl Recap

2012-01-10T19:04:00.000-08:00

BILLIONAIRE TAKES SPORTS, POLITICS INTO OWN HANDS

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (BBC)…Clearly empowered by his expressed (though later withdrawn) desire to moderate a GOP debate and deeming himself worthy of officiating a BCS bowl, Donald Trump was immediately recognized by fans in the stands and TV viewers as the person wearing the referee’s uniform while the JumboTron at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome broadcast the opening coin-toss of the college football national title game on Monday. As penalties occurred, the brash celeb reportedly offered coaches the option of having flagged players “fired” rather than taking the yardage. Eagle-eyed viewers also noted the officiating crew was down a man to start the 3rd Quarter, as the back judge was dismissed during a “board meeting” held at halftime after having a call on the field reversed upon further video review.

In a related story, Vindicator quickly produced a full New York birth certificate proving US citizenship to quiet a “birthers” movement revived by Trump, who asked whether or not Vindy deserved admission to Delaware State, Penn State and Richmond after learning, from undisclosed sources, the Weber Kid was a poor student. Journalists continue to question the timing of the birth certificate release, but Vin noted during a press conference that he didn’t “have time for this silliness” and implored the media…and the nation…to focus on more important issues facing the country, such as who would win the 2012 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament.

A British spy agency hacked into an al-Qaida E-zine this past summer and swapped bomb-making instructions with cupcake recipes. In related news, Vindicator finally got past Martha Stewart’s firewall and replaced her holiday fruitcake guide with…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011-12 BOWL RECAP
(Striving to “make Peggy sad”)

At the outset of the bowl season, Vindy’s “ready” was better than the bookie’s “ready”. A promising 6-2 start had our hero doin’ the State Farm “discount double-check” all the way to the cashier’s cage, but Vindicator spent two minutes in the penalty box for skidding short of the bookie’s net and giving him a snow-shower (and was immediately confronted on the subsequent shift by the bookie’s enforcer!). In retaliation, the picks were sent on a 3-12 death spiral that saw the floundering forecaster end 2011 at 9-14. 2012 looked good for a few brief moments as Vindy opened the new year 3-0, but suffered a subsequent 1-6 setback, including our second straight “lock of da’ bowls” loss by K-State. Vindy then finished with a 2-0 flurry (something we’ll build upon for next season), getting a nifty comeback win by Northern Illinois in the GoDaddy and correctly calling ‘Bama’s national title game victory to bring the bowl campaign to a merciful finish with a career-low 15-20 (.428) tally. We did nominally better against the totals, going a profitable 19-16 (.542). Favorites took 20 of the contests, while ‘dogs covered 14 (winning 9 outright), with one pick ‘em (Iowa State-Rutgers). Points this post-season came at a premium as well, with 20 of the games finishing “under” the total. Vindy’s post-season award or “award” winners (Weber-Friendlies and Flame-Throwers) actually provided four prediction wins in six tries, but all five “we’ll be watchin’” squads (Ohio State, Joja’ Tech, Okie State, Wisky and Clemson) all smacked the Weber Kid upside the head again!

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, late in the national title game, an inadvertent flag hit the ground. However, after confirming with each other, the officiating crew decided “there was no foul on the play” and simply picked up Trump’s toupee off the field.

Vindy’s spies noted it was actually Mitt Romney presiding over the aforementioned board meeting because, as the GOP presidential-hopeful told the Nashua (New Hampshire) Chamber of Commerce, he likes to “being able fire people” too!

Actor and current Allstate spokesman Dennis Haysbert oversaw the opening coin-toss of the LSU-‘Bama game. The presence of the former President David Palmer from 24 also meant Jack Bauer was somewhere inside the Superdome, feverishly seeking out a bomb that would level the stadium if he couldn’t disarm it as time expired!

Speaking of presidents, Barack Obama helped the Dallas Mavericks celebrate their NBA Title in the nation’s capitol this week. Remembering that Dirk Nowitzki crooned Queen’s “We Are the Champions” following their championship run, the Commander-in-Chief reportedly led the White House staff in a rousing version of Bohemian Rhapsody to mark the occasion!

The Duchess of Cambridge, AKA Mrs. Prince William, reportedly disappointed the royal subjects by celebrating her 30th birthday on January 9th in a “low-key” manner. Come to think of it, we seem to remember spotting the former Kate Middleton in the end zone seats during the BCS Title game…wearing a Tide jersey!

Also BTW, TSA at McCarron Airport confiscated a red velvet cupcake last month because the frosting violated standards for gel. Anybody else out there contemplating the remake of a classic SNL skit…”It’s a cupcake frosting …it’s a plastic explosive…it’s both!”????

Over the holidays, Vindy went to a nice seafood restaurant and inquired about that day’s market-price on the…long-snapper!

Vindicator replaced his rear-view and side-view mirrors with some of the reflective helmets worn by the Oregon Ducks at this year’s Rose Bowl!

We recently caught a headline reading, “Stephen King to Pay for Mainers’ Oil”. With Vindy’s obvious sports-related frame-of-reference, he thought the article-title proclaimed, “Stephen King to Pay for Mariners’ Oil” and thought maybe the Master of the Macabre and author of “The Girl Who Loved (Boston Red Sox pitcher) Tom Gordon”, might be planning to pen a sequel called, “The Girl Who Loved Ichiro”!!!!!

6-ft, 8-inch Mikhail Prokhorov, owner of the NBA’s New Jersey Nyets…um…Nets… is challenging Vladimir Putin in Russia’s March presidential election. If the race is close at the end, it could come down to Putin’s ability to extend the contest by fouling and sending Prokhorov to the charity stripe to shoot free-throws!

Elle Nordegren just demolished a $12M home she purchased after divorcing Tiger Woods. Neighbors say, the model, armed with a driver and a bucket of Top Flights, shot six-under-par while taking out all the windows before giving way to the bulldozers, which then turned the mansion into little more than a sand-trap!

Director Spike Lee plans to hit the Silver Screen again as “Mookie”. Strange…we don’t remember him portraying the former NY Mets centerfielder Mookie Wilson the first time!

We’ve all heard about the conspiracy called “Suck for Luck”. But what about NFL squads who might’ve lost intentionally because they really want Baylor’s quarterback instead?! Can you say, “Whiffin’ for Griffin”???!!!

Vindy took notice of an ad in the Las Vegas Review-Journal hawking “BFG Chicken Strips”. The promo-in-question said “’BFG’ stands for baked, fried or grilled”. We’re thinkin’ in South Carolina, that abbreviation represents “Big Freakin’ Gamecocks”!!!!

In order to save money, the Presidential Coin Act of 2005, which required the minting of four new coins featuring dead presidents each year from 2007-2016, got the boot in December. In a similar move, the NCAA dispensed with the individualized ceremonial currency for each post-season game and used old ones emblazoned with team logos and helmets of the British and the Colonists!

After securing the Sugar Bowl trophy for the Wolverines with his foot in overtime, Michigan kicker Brendan Gibbons said, “Every time we were like struggling in kicking, coach tells me to think about girls on a beach or brunette girls.” Well…that would certainly explain the bikini and brownish wig the Michigan holder was wearing at the time of the game-winning FG! (BTW, we prefer blondes… and if ya tape a poster of Meg Ryan, Melissa-Joan Hart, Alison Sweeney or Alicia Silverstone to the goalposts, Vindy’s splitting the uprights from 50-plus!!!)

The Texas Supreme Court recently put the kibosh on the Lone Star State’s plans to draw up new electoral maps. Apparently, they’re still to tryin’ to work-out the logistics of including TCU, San Diego State and other teams associated with what is about to become the Big East-of-the Pacific-Ocean Conference for voting purposes!

Data used to close post offices around the country has come under fire. Vindy had similar concerns about the BCS Poll all season and supports a USPS playoff system to determine which offices get shuttered and which ones remain open each year!

This year’s field of 68 is already being determined by the 14 Democratic legislators from Wisconsin, who bolted from America’s Dairyland last February and holed-up in an Illinois hotel temporarily to start the selection! The process will eventually, however, be turned over to…the congressional Supercommittee (which will also conduct April’s NFL Draft!)

The North Koreans attributed a “mysterious glow atop a revered mountain”, a sheet of lake ice cracking with a thunderous sound and a crane drooping its head in sorrow after circling a statue of the country’s founder to the passing of Kim Jong Il. Oddly, all three of those events were also part of the laundry-list of things the Cincinnati Bengals needed to happen in order to make the playoffs! Even stranger, Vindy pre-arranged an unexplained aura around the Stratosphere hotel & casino, the Bellagio fountains freezing over and a pigeon circling Oscar Goodman, himself, before wetting its beak in the former mayor’s martini glass, had he completed his three-team parlay, but K-State’s 13-point loss negated prior covers by Weeziana Tech and Houston!

Speaking of which, “Dear Leader” was not only a term of affection and respect, but also reflected Kim Jong Il’s status at the top of nearly all statistical categories for the country in football, including passing yards, rushing yards, touchdowns, field-goals, even sacks and tackles-for-loss! How did this guy ever miss getting on the Big Boards for the NFL Draft???!!! Maybe he bombed the Wonderlic…literally! The national media even went so far as to alter a photo of his funeral procession to avoid revealing the North Korean army actually had too many men on the field at one point!

In one of his first official actions as the new head coach at Penn State, Bill O’Brien recruited two kids…named “Brady” and “Vinatieri”!

Black Shirt: We’re handin’ out multiple ebony undergarments this post-season to…Ohio U. QB Tyler Tettleton for the 1-yard TD plunge with 13 seconds left to give the Bobblecats the minor upset over Utah State, Ragin’ Cajun kicker Brett Baer for a successful fitty-yard FG as time expired to validate our upset pick of ULL-Lafayette over SDSU and QB EJ Manuel for rallying FSU (-3) from a 2nd half two-touchdown hole to win by 4.

“Locked in a Box?”: Iowa State got whacked by Rutgers to lower the season tally to 7-8 (.467) and posting back-to-back “Lock of da’ Bowls” losses, as noted above, for the Sin City Soothsayer!

Shoppe Talk: Grill-Master awardee Michigan State and Suckin’ Place winner Virginia Tech posted forecast dubyas, while only Dishonorable Mention West Virginia dropped us again! All five teams in “watch” status Ohio State, Joja’ Teck, Oklahoma State, Wisconsin and Clemson), however, hit us below the (Sun) belt!

Vindy’s Bowls Best Bets: Part II: 2-2 Bowls: 4-3 Season: 36-34-1 (.514)

LEFTOVER HASH (Yes, we know it’s redundant. Vindicator now conducts the annual “emptying of the clip” and expends all the stuff he had in the arsenal throughout the season that didn’t previously find its way into the forecast…until now.)

In exchange for the right to remain licensed and among its BCS bowl brethren, the Fiesta agreed to fork over $1M in fines and be audited once a year. (Oh…and…the Penn State athletic director in charge of the BCS oversight committee brokered an automatic bid to the game for the Nifty Lions for each of the next four years, regardless of the team’s win-loss record!

If Meineke can sponsor a “Car Care Bowl”, why can’t Head & Shoulders back a “Hair Care Bowl”??? Do I hear the American Greetings “Care Bear Bowl”???!!!

On the big screen…as part of a military project to conquer the BCS, George Clooney and company, armed with no more than intense gazes, succeed in knocking over parade entries during pre-game festivities for the Rose, Fiesta, Orange and Sugar Bowls in…”The Men Who Stare at Floats”!

The BCS selected not just one, but multiple possible dates for its big games in anticipation of scheduling conflicts with a revamped NFL schedule as the result of the lockout. Apparently, FBS now stands for “Flexible Bowl Schedule” or “Forgiving Bowl Scandals”!!! Or BCS stands for “Bendable Championship Schedule”!

On Lifetime…family matriarchs are filmed while battling obsessed coaches who teach their toddlers to perform obnoxious touchdown celebrations in “End Zone Dance Moms”!

Is it just Vindy or does anybody else out there who’s seen him think Boise State QB recruit Nick Patti looks like Adrian Brody???!!!!

Instead of usual band, Boise State scripted its first 15 plays of the Las Vegas Bowl on a writeable Bud Light label strapped to QB Kellen Moore’s wrist!

In an act of defiance, Reggie Bush had his 2005 Heisman Trophy sent to his parents, who immediately welded the highly-coveted hardware to one of Terrell Pryor’s cars as a nifty hood-ornament!

In August, Georgetown’s hoops team brawled on the hardwood with the Chinese squad during a “friendly” in Beijing. Chinese reps later caught up to the Hoyas at airport to reconcile and exchange souvenirs, but we look forward to more fireworks should the two clubs meet again in the Sweet 16 of this year’s Big Dance!

In each of the four days prior to the January 2011 San Diego State/BYU hoops game, Provo’s Daily Herald printed one of four sections, which when joined together, formed a life-size likeness of Jimmer Fredette. As an added bonus, the reverse side of the completed poster showed a life-size replica of...the Vegas Vindicator!

Hawaii’s gridiron team was accused of point-shaving in its outright loss to UNLV. As 18-point chalk, a 17-point win is point-shaving. Accounting for teaser-bets, a 10 win is point-shaving. A 20-point defeat to arguably one of the worst teams in D-I football is not point-shaving! Lack of focus, maybe. Poor execution, for sure. But definitely not point-shaving!

Jockey Calvin Borel was picked up last August by the Louisville PD for DWI. Guess that explains why he hugged the rail during his 2009 Kentucky Derby victory! He was tryin’ stay on the horse!

Pakistan spy agency, Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI), got heat for not stopping the U.S. raid that that took out Osama Bin Laden. The organization, however, is no stranger to such criticism and has been the scapegoat for...the 1980 “Miracle on Ice” and the Best Picture Oscar that went to The English Patient. It also got blame for the antler-like hat worn by Princess Beatrice to the 2011 royal nuptials…and for scandals at Ohio State, Penn State and Miami.

The “Leftovers” column of an edition of the Las Vegas Review-Journal noted the creation of a Lingerie Basketball League and queried, “What next, Lingerie Lacrosse?”. We’d like to see Lingerie Curling! Women in skimpy French maid outfits “sweeping” along the ice! Or maybe Lingerie Jai-Alai!?? Sweet!!!!

Celebrity-boxing promoter Damon Feldman won his breach-of-contract lawsuit vs. Jose Canseco, who apparently had twin-brother Ozzie secretly take his place in a March fight. Queue up the Patti Duke Show theme song?...”They walk alike, they talk alike…sometimes they even box alike?!” BTW, Vindy has an evil twin, who’s responsible for all his forecast losses…the Sin City Scintillator (whom we’re blaming for the whole 2011 Vindy’s Picks season fiasco!)

A former Colorado Rockies 1B and current minor-leaguer was the first player to get the temporary boot from a game for using PEDs. Anybody else see the irony in this happening to a guy who’s home park was one in which Howdy Doody woulda’ hit home runs on a regular basis???!!!

MLB manager Bobby Valentine claimed to have invented the “wrap” lunch item. Al Gore is refuting that assertion, claiming instead, that he himself was the founder of that sandwich!

Former Indiana Pacer Samaki Walker was temporarily booked after police found marijuana, prescription pills and steroids in his vehicle. Walker said the steroids are legal in Syria, where he plays basketball. Narcotics charges were eventually dropped. Meanwhile, attorneys and agents for Roger Clemens, Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds and the North Korean women’s World Cup soccer team are backdating contracts to show their clients were actually playing for ball-clubs in Syria at the times of their investigations. And BTW, anyone who’s traveled to that nation knows weed is used frequently as an appetizer!

New Mexico football player Deshon Marman was asked to debark an airplane after repeatedly refusing to pull up his pants. No charges were filed, but the defensive back spent the rest of the season “goin’ Greyhound” to all the Lobos away games!

Members from both sides of the NFL lockout held secret meetings in June about the issues. Those gatherings woulda’ been more-clandestine had everybody not worn a jersey with the number “007” on it. In fact, there were reported sightings of James Bond, Lancelot Link, Secret Squirrel, Mata Hari and Maxwell Smart at the undisclosed location!

Linebacker Desmond Howard got stuck hanging out solo on the Green Bay Packers bus while the rest of the team got to meet President Obama as a reward for winning last season’s Super Bowl because he didn’t remember to bring his ID. Not to worry. Tareq and Michaele Salahi were more than happy to take his place.

On the big screen....”Cloudy With a Chance of Long Balls!”

Also on the big screen…a teenage Brett Favre struggles to deal with his newfound super-powers while being hunted by aliens ahead of their invasion of Earth in...”I Am Number Four”.

One more time on the big screen….an animated flick based on the daily journal kept by our fab forecaster during his milquetoast childhood in…”Diary of a Vindy Kid”!

On the concert circuit…ex-football team underlings form a musical group and hit it big as…Waterboyz 2 Men!

Terrell Pryor’s body art featuring the same Dodge Ram logo that graces the taillights of said-company’s trucks was a definite clue for investigators lookin’ into the allegations of inappropriate benefits.

Recently-released travel records and credit card statements revealed part of ex-Ohio State coach Jim Tressel’s “punishment” for sitting on information about his players’ shenanigans too long was mandatory attendance at a June seminar on “Division I Major Infractions”. Our agenda for that Tampa, Florida event shows that specified session sandwiched between “How to Make Lotsa’ Money Without Really Trying” and a presentation on timeshares in Key West.

Zappos.com busts out “naked models doing everyday things” with carefully-covered nudity in a July ad campaign. Show us a nearly-nude model placing wagers at the sportsbook and we’ll flash the plastic to buy whatever they’re sellin’…everytime!

Fergie revealed her thoughts about being denied an invite to WillKat’s regal knot-tying. Hey…after that less-than-inspiring rendition of Tonight’s Gonna’ Be A Good Night at last February’s Super Bowl halftime gig, we woulda’ passed her up for the nuptials too! (Oh wait…wrong Fergie! Our bad!)

Attorneys sued big companies in California on behalf of cashiers who don’t have seats available to them. Great. Can’t wait to see this one hit Vegas. “Objection, your honor. We think it’s unfair for bookies to cash winning tickets when they have to stand on their feet all day!” By golly, no self-respecting Walmart cashier should be without a reclining, swivel-chair at their check-out counter, especially during the holidays!

American Wagering Inc. was purchased in April by a major British sports betting company. Great...now Vindy’s gotta’ figure out how to convert spreads and money lines to the metric system! “Uhhh...gimme four pounds six pence on Elton John over George Michael on the moneyline!?”

If a former Olympic track medalist returns the one ring to Mount Doom, would it be...Flo Jo Baggins???!!!

Forget “Rate Tate’s chicken”!!! Domino’s Pizza boxes now offer the opportunity to “Rate Tay’s Chicken” or “Rate Vindy’s Picks’!”

“Can switching to GEICO really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Was Charles Barkley honest? Would Mike Tyson make a really bad book narrator??!!”

Here’s a sound-bite we wanna’ hear from the 2012 Scripps National Spelling Bee…Judge: “Draft.” Contestant: “Draft…D-R-A-U-G-H-T…’draft’” Judge: “BZZZT! WRONG-O!!! In yo’ face! Grab some pine, you little egghead!!!!!!!

Atlantic City now employs lingerie-wearing blackjack dealers and beverage-servers in bustiers and fishnets. Ho-hum. We here in Sin City already got scantily-clad dancers/dealers. However, we could seriously use some hot ticket-writers who also bust a move between counter gigs. Would give a whole new meanin’ to “spreads”.

Starting this month, the NCAA legislative committee will entertain a proposal by the Big Least that schools be allowed to provide spreads (such as butter, peanut butter, jelly, cream cheese, etc.) with the unadorned bagels they can give to potential recruits. Presently, said accoutrements are only legally-available to the institutions’ own student-athletes. “Dude…here’s your plain bagel….but if ya sign with *us*….the sky’s the limit on spreads!” We foresee the “Bagel Bowl”, with tubs of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” as swag (or sponsor!). How ‘bout sushi with mustard or wasabi? Coke with rum????!!!!

NIKE donated $400K to Penn State’s libraries in honor of JoePa’s 400th victory....and merely asked to have the swoosh logo placed on each building and bookshelf in exchange!

The North Korean women’s World Cup soccer team claimed the opening 2-0 loss to Team USA was due to its players being struck by lightning during a practice session. Well…that settles it…Thor is clearly not havin’ any of that rogue-nation-Communist crappola on the pitch!

During the preseason, Steve Spurrier voluntarily got handcuffed to make a point to his Gamecocks players....and still managed to throw his visor to ground!

Coming this winter…to an arena near you....“Vindy’s Picks On Ice”.

Vindy before being scrapped in the final selections in April, made the elite “royal wedding guest list” for Kate and Prince William...somewhere between George Michael and Scary Spice!

JC Penney yanked a controversial female garment from its website after consumers whined about the T-shirt, which sports the motto, “I’m too pretty to do my homework so my brother has to do it for me.”. That didn’t deter us from purchasing the one that proclaims, “Vindy’s too purty to place his wagers, so his bookie has to do it for him!”

Until August, Sportsfans…we leave you with our traditional Irish blessing…”May the road ‘dog rise up to beat you.” (Somethin’ like that!)

Air Forecast One has gone “wheels up”!

Vindy's 2011-12 Bowl Predictions Part II

2011-12-28T18:40:00.000-08:00

TEBOW CHANNELS CONTROVERSIAL ACTOR DURING NFL GAME

DENVER, Colorado (Reuters)…Until now, the Broncos’ masterful miracles were often attributed to favor from On High, but a recent interview with the New York Post revealed Tim Tebow’s success in leading late comeback victories is more Gibson than God. The quarterback noted during the Q&A session that his flick-of-choice is “Braveheart” and subsequently busted out his best impersonation of Mel Gibson’s performance as outlaw William Wallace during Denver’s home game versus New England earlier this month. Meeting the referee and Patriots team captains at mid-field for the pre-game coin-toss on horseback, Tebow wore a kilt and Scotland’s national colors on his face while proposing “…Denver’s terms. Lower your flags. Tell your coach he has to cross the field, present himself before this team, put his head between his legs and kiss his own arse. Then, march straight back to New England, stopping at every Broncos fan’s home he passes by to beg their forgiveness for 100 seasons of oppression and tyranny.” Later in the 4th Quarter, decked out in the same 14th Century regalia and wielding a Claymore sword, Tebow was seen riding up and down the Broncos sideline, yelling, “They may take our linemen …but they’ll never take…our FREEDOMMMMMM!”

Spoiler-alert! Denver lost the New England game and Gibson gets beheaded at the end of said-movie for failing to quell his people’s uprising and not swearing allegiance to…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 BOWL PREDICTIONS (PART II)
(Now with their own parade float)

DEC. 30
BELL HELICOPTER ARMED FORCES (@ Dallas, TX):
Brigham Young over Tulsa giving 1 ½ (55): Cougars were locked into this bowl from the preseason (assuming eligibility) and the previous-MWC membership wouldn’t have gotten them anything more exciting, given the post-season destinations of Boise and TCU. An early-season change in quarterbacks lit a fire under a stagnant BYU offense that had posted all of 40 total points in the first three games (1-2 SU/ATS), going on to win seven of eight, losing only vs. TCU at Jerry World, and covering 6 of the last 7. Golden Hurricane ripped off six straight victories and five consecutive covers before falling badly to Houston. Tulsa’s won 4 of previous 5 bowls (4-1 ATS) by substantial margins. Coogs would snag double-digit SU win total again after missing in 2010 for first time in 6 seasons. Defensive advantage goes to BYU, who held 8 of 12 opponents to 20 or less. Unless USU transfer Riley Nelson goes all Charles Nelson Reilly (raise yer hand if ya watched Match Game and/or Lidsville in 1971) and leads the Mormons astray, we like…BYU 37 Tulsa 24

NEW ERA PINSTRIPE (@ Bronx, NY):
Iowa State over Rutgers taking 1 ½ (44 ½): LOCK OF DA’ BOWLS. Bowl history and location favor the Paladins, with Rutgers winning its post-season matches in each of the past four years and likely garnering the favor of a preponderance of the fans at Yankee Stadium. Knights were also good on defense, giving up just 16.8 ppg until a weak UConn squad hit ‘em for 40 in the finale. Still, we’ll back the ‘Clones, who battled better opponents all year than Rutgers faced in Big Least league that barely crowned a conference champion. State ruined Oklahoma State’s national title hopes as a nearly-four-TD dog and Twisters’ coach Paul Rhoads just got himself nice 10-year contract extension. New Jersey Governor Chris Christie once applied for a job as a coordinator or assistant coach at Maryland because he heard he’d be working with “The Fridge!”. He also once sought out former Bears star William Perry for the same reason! “Under” is a pretty good guess and we’ll give the victory to…Iowa State 20 Rutgers 17

FRANKLIN AMERICAN MORTGAGE MUSIC CITY (@Nashville, TN):
Mississippi State over Wake Forest giving 6 ½ (47 ½): Deacs looked to be having a special season, winning five of first seven, with one of the losses in OT and a truckload of returning starters, but faded fast after that and had to beat a weak Maryland squad to close the regular season to get eligible. The Forest is younger at the skills than MSU and giving up almost 31 ppg on defense. Bulldogs dropped three of their last six…a pair vs. two of the best teams from the best division of the best conference in football. State, though outscoring opponents by an average of just 6 ppg, blasted Michigan in last year’s bowl and have a poor FG unit (just 11 of 18) that will likely mean going for it on 4th Down a few times, thus we like the “over” here as well…Mississippi State 37 Wake 20

INSIGHT (@ Tempe, AZ):
Iowa over #19 Oklahoma taking 14 (58): Hawkeyes have won and covered bowls each of last three seasons, including two wins in the dog role, vs. South Carolina, Georgia Tech and Mizzou. No telling what Sooners frame of mind will be after losing to Baylor and Oklahoma State…badly (if ya don’t buy the conspiracy theory that Sooners threw that one). OK whacked opponents by 15 or more seven times. Hawkeyes lost by that many only to Michigan State. “Under” is feasible, with Oklahoma allowing 22.8 ppg and Iowa spotting opponents 23.3. Hawkeyes can be had through the air, giving up 20 scores with just 9 picks. Sooners passing game shows a 28-15 ratio. Second ho-hum post-season venue in last three years for OU, who’s used to playing in much better bowls…Okie-Doke 29 Iowa 17

DEC. 31
MEINEKE CAR CARE OF TEXAS (@ Houston, TX):
Northwestern over Texas A&M taking 10 (66 ½): Wildcats have lost three straight bowls (two in extra frames) , but covered all of ‘em, losing by no more than 7. Dan Persa at QB always gives them a chance. Aggies have lost last five bowls SU and ATS and while they succeed in the red zone about 98% of the time, a minus-eight turnover ratio (-10 in losses) has hampered the chances for bigger things. Five of NW’s victories came over nobody in particular but sixth win came at ranked Nebraska and ‘Cats scored thru the air 25 times with just 9 interceptions. Could be a track-meet….Aggies 41 NW 37

HYUNDAI SUN (@ El Paso, TX):
Georgia Tech over Utah giving 3 (50 ½): After early difficulty transitioning to its new conference, Utah seemed to be building momentum with late four-game SU win streak, but was shocked by Colorado at home as three-score chalk. Utes were lowest total-yardage team to make the post-season and face the #4 rushing yardage team in Joja’ Tech. Utah is however #7 in rush defense, allowing just six touchdowns on the ground and unlike many teams that could’ve been here, at least has experience defending the option, having played Air Force all those years in the Mountain Jest. GT has been lousy bowl bet, losing five straight years and covering just one. Wildlife officials in Utah use robotic deer to catch poachers. Maybe the Utes, 4-1 SU in their last five bowls (3-2 ATS), could strategically-place a few of the bogus-Bambis on the field to divert Tech’s attention…’Jackets 31 Utes 24

AUTOZONE LIBERTY (@ Memphis, TN):
Vanderbilt over Cincinnati giving 1 ½ (48 ½): First bowl for the Commodores since 2008 and just second since ’82. Senior-heavy Vandy went 4-0 SU/3-0 ATS vs. non-SEC teams, as the favorite in all of them. Money’s been coming in on Cincy after announcement that senior quarterback Zach Collaros is returning from ankle surgery he had over a month ago. All six of Vanderbilt’s defeats came at the hands of other bowl squads (scoring 21 or more in four of them). UC posted 9 SU wins and allowed only 20 ppg. ‘Cats lost to West Virginia by 3 at home and were pounded by Tennessee and Rutgers. While neither team’s stats scream “offensive juggernaut”, we think the total goes “over” and we prefer Vandy’s balanced offense…Admirals 29 Cincinnati 24

KRAFT FIGHT HUNGER (San Francisco, CA):
Illinois over Ucla giving 2 ½ (47): This got “lock” consideration. Illini are young on offense and it showed badly in current six-game SU losing streak (UI didn’t top 17 in any of those six). That demise also sent The Zooker packin’. On the other sideline, we don’t see the departure of Rick Neuheisel, who will call plays in this one, from yet-another coaching stint on heels of 24-26 record, motivating 6-7 Bruins, who are only here because USC was prohibited from post-season activities, and who struggled to keep opponents outta’ the end zone (permitting 38 points or more to half their slate). Three of UI’s wins came by exactly 3. Four of the defeats, maybe even five, were excusable. We seriously-question the 20-point loss at Minnesota to end the regular season though. After being introduced this month as UCLA’s new head coach, Jim Mora, Jr., answering his first media question, quipped “Playoffs???!!! Ya kiddin’ me??!! Playoffs??!!!! I just hope we can win a game!!!”…Illinois 20 UCLA 10

CHICK-FIL-A (@ Atlanta, GA):
Virginia over Auburn taking 3 (49): In what should be no surprise, last season’s National Title winner fell to a pre-January tilt in a rebuilding year. Auburn allowed the 3rd-most sacks (31) in the SEC and was next to last in the conference in scoring D at 29.3 ppg. Tigers were also last in stopping the pass, allowing 21 touchdowns, while snaring 10 interceptions. Cavs pass offense ain’t stellar at 15-15 ratio. Virginia got hot, taking five of last six on the year, with victories over then-Top 25 Georgia Tech and Florida State. Aubie barely dodged Utah State and lit the scoreboard only in the teens in five of last seven…Cavs 19 Worn Eagle 17

JAN. 2
TICKETCITY (@ Dallas, TX):
#20 Houston over #24 Penn State giving 6 ½ (56 ½): Nearly hung the “lock” label on this one. It ain’t a BCS game, but unlike Boise’s demise, this wasn’t the result of a single missed kick and Case Keenum won’t wanna’ go out with back-to-back losses in his final two college games. It is a chance for the C-USA runner-up to dredge a BCS conference squad in the form of Nittany Lions club reeling from blow-out at Wisconsin, off-season issues that have scrubbed the usual stellar bowl-prep provided by Joe Paterno, one known locker room scuffle between players and that is hampered by a third-and-long pass D that has been a handicap throughout the year as it gets ready to take on the country’s top air game. State’s offense isn’t built to swap sixes here and we don’t think it’ll sustain enough long drives to hang within the short number. The alma mater was the lowest-scoring team to get a bowl bid. Cheer with yer heart. Bet with yer head!… Houston 34 PSU 24

OUTBACK (@ Tampa, FL):
#12 Michigan State over #18 Georgia taking 3 ½ (50): Taking on SEC title game loser Joja’ should eliminate any letdown issues for Sparty after dropping 3-point decision in Big Ten championship game to Wisconsin. Bulldogs had won and covered 4 straight bowls prior to losing last season’s 10-6 stinker vs. Central Florida. State QB Kirk Cousins was just a freshman when Georgia won the 2008 bowl pairing 24-12. We like him over sophomore Aaron Murray for the ‘Dawgs. Both teams were excellent on defense….Michigan State 22 UGA 20

CAPITAL ONE (@ Orlando, FL):
#10 South Carolina over #21 Nebraska giving 2 ½ (46 ½): Despite a tumultuous year that saw losses of Marcus Lattimore to injury and starting QB Stephen Garcia to suspension and eventual dismissal, Poultry could still finish with a 10-win season. Big Dread has gone 2-1 SU/ATS in bowls the past three years, losing outright in 2010 to Washington as disinterested two-touchdown fave. Chickens have been poor 0-3 SU/ATS in each of last three post-seasons. Carolina did finish strong with wins over Florida, Citadel and Clemson and held 7 opponents to 20 or fewer on the year. Huskers didn’t top 17 against any of the better defensive teams they faced and sophomore Taylor Martinez can be streaky. Nebraska has a shot if they can get the running game going…Gamehens 24 Corncobs 19

TAXSLAYER.COM GATOR (@ Jacksonville, FL):
Ohio State over Florida taking 2 (44): First non-BCS bowl for State in 6 years and while OSU had much bigger plans entering 2011, the suspense has been gone for quite a while. Gators’ best outing may have been five-point triumph over rising Vandy in the Swamp, their only I-A victory after September [and only opponent against whom they scored more than 16). Buckeyes limp in on three-game losing skid, but at least have some offensive pop and made Michigan work for its victory. They better make the most of this one ‘cause the NCAA has just banned ‘em from next year’s post-season, including the 2012 Big Tenor Championship game for the whole memorabilia/tattoo/car thing. Jets coach Rex Ryan showed up at August training camp sporting a calf-length tribal tattoo. Ho-hum. We wanna’ see the ink on his spouse’s instep that declares props for “Columbus Chevrolet” or “’Da ‘Shoe Subaru”! Ya think anyone would notice if UF slipped Tim Tebow into a Crocs uni? (Or maybe a certain Lethal Weapon star is available!)….OSU 24 Florida 17

ROSE BOWL GAME PRESENTED BY VIZIO (@ Pasadena, CA):
#9 Wisconsin over #6 Oregon taking 6 (72): Nice match-up of running games between LaMichael James for the Mallards and the Montee Ball/Russell Wilson contingent for the Badgers, as well as a big defensive line for Wisconsin that allowed few points, would seem to portend an “under” here. Last three neutral site games for the Ducks have ended in defeats, including last season’s BCS Title match. Coach Bielema has taken the Badgers to the postseason in all six of his years at the helm, but shows just two wins and three covers. First dog role for UW since 2010 bowl, but 10th straight year its gotten points in the bowls…Drakes 34 Varmints 30

TOSTITOS FIESTA (@ Glendale, AZ):
#3 Oklahoma State over #4 Stanford giving 3 ½ (74): OKSU went 9-3 ATS behind its powerful offense. The D was still a hindrance, but showed flashes of brilliance. Cowpokes have gone 4-1 SU/ATS vs. 12-PAC foes the past four years, but the loss came vs. Oregon in 2008 bowl game. Cardinal also packs a big punch and sports a better scoring-defense, but only two their last eleven ranked opponents came out-of-conference. We think Brandon Weeden and Andrew Luck both have good days vs. the respective defenses. The Fiesta committee could’ve ultimately been asked to take a powder from the BCS in the wake of misappropriated funds by then-president John Junker, including hoity-toity golf club memberships, car allowances and treks to a Phoenix gentlemen’s club. However, after the trial, the game kept its certification, but lost its sponsor and starting next year, must be held before New Year’s Day…and be forever known as the Discover Card “Peggy” Bowl!...State 44 Stanford 38

JAN. 3
ALLSTATE SUGAR (@New Orleans, LA):
#13 Michigan over #17 Virginia Tech giving 2 ½ (51): Hokies were Euro-ripping 3-9 ATS, but suffered only two SU losses, both to inconsistent Clemson squad. Both teams hopin’ to erase memories of bad losses in 2010 post-season, run the ball well and limit opponents’ scoring opportunities (VT and Michigan ranked 8th and 9th respectively in points-against). Tech gets advantage in the passing aspect. Hokies have won only two of last five post-season outings and it’s been a good start to the Brady Hoke era in Ann Arbor, averaging almost 35 ppg and covering 9 of 12. We’ll take Denard Robinson and RB Shaw to drag out a few scoring drives and keep Frank Beamer’s defense on the field longer than it wants to be…Big Blue 27 VT 20

JAN. 4
DISCOVER ORANGE (@ Miami, FL):
#14 Clemson over #23 West Virginia giving 3 ½ (60 ½): No confidence in a side or a total here (though we lean very slightly toward the “under”). Conference tie-ins pretty much doomed this bowl and though we’ve opposed the BCS-buster vs. BCS-buster match-ups of bowls-past, we’d rather have seen Boise State face Houston here than this snoozer-pairing of iffy “champions” from the ACC and Big East. Soap-box sermon over, now back to our regularly-scheduled analysis…Mounted Ears have dropped last two bowls by 12 and 16. WVU’s last four regular-season games were decided by 3 or less, with ‘Eers winning last three SU. We don’t know what to make of Clemson, but Tigers did win four of five SU/ATS vs. the ranked teams they played this year. Both squads come in currently 8-12 ATS vs. non-conference. West Virginia touts Gino Smith’s arm at quarterback and almost 460 passing yards per game. Clemson throws for almost 441 yards per tilt. Tigers, though scoring no more than 17 in losing 3 of last 5, looked good throughout most of the year. West Virginia never got much traction until November…Clemson 31 WVU 27

JAN. 6
AT&T COTTON (@ Arlington, TX):
#11 Kansas State over #7 Arkansas taking 7 ½ (62 ½): UPSET PICK OF DA’ BOWLS. Wildcats are back in preferred role as sizable ‘dogs and the only two outright defeats came at the hands of Oklahoma and Oklahoma State. With lotsa’ juniors on this squad, watch out for K-State next season! KSU can win the lowest-scoring, tight defensive battle or the shoot-out (with a bias toward the latter), playing to the level of its competition. ‘Cats covered 9 of 11 this season and while this is not a true “road” game, the Feral Felines have covered 14 of last 18 getting points outside Manhattan. Pigs score bunches, but not unlike Oklahoma State, feature a porous defense and have gone 1-3 ATS, with only SU bowl win coming vs. East Carolina in OT after 2009 campaign. Bacon managed a 4-point neutral site win over Texas A&M earlier this year…Kansas State 37 Arkansas 34

JAN. 7
BBVA COMPASS (@Birmingham, AL):
Pittsburgh over Southern Methodist giving 3 ½ (47): Given Louisville’s 7-point bowl loss to NC State, 6-6 Panthers’ best “win” mighta’ been the 1-point loss at West Virginia during Thanksgiving. Pitt QB Tino Sunseri has a lot of fellow-seniors on the O-line to protect him vs. sawbuck-shredding Ponies, who went just 3-9 ATS, including current 0-6 demise and a loss to Army while laying a TD. SMU also lost 4 of last 6 SU, scoring no more than 17 in any of ‘em. We like what June Jones has done for the program and Mustangs boast a road win over TCU on the resume, but…Pitt 23 SMU 14

JAN. 8
GODADDY.COM (@ Mobile, AL):
Northern Illinois over Arkansas State taking 1 ½ (63): A minor bowl taking place well-after most of the big ones are done, but it still matches conference champions…ASU out of the Fun Belt and Huskies from the MAC. First bowl for State since 2005. Middle of Red Wolves defensive line is young and that could be a problem vs. potent NIU rushing game. The remainder of the D is, however, experienced. Sun Belt winners are solid on both sides of the ball and ran the conference table following non-conference losses at Illinois and Virginia Tech. NIU scored total of 41 points over last games after exceeding that in nearly any single game prior to that. Both sides have been in shootouts. ASU went 9-2 ATS, NIU just 4-7, but…Huskies 44 ASU 37

JAN. 9
ALLSTATE BCS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME (@ New Orleans, LA):
#2 Alabama over #1 Louisiana State taking 1 (40): Long before kickoff, this one will have analyzed and probably criticized to death, but the only stats that matter here are the 9-6 OT win in Tuscaloosa by the Bengals and the two mssed Tide FGs that got ‘em that victory. Pressure’s on LSU to prove it deserved the win, but like last year’s national champ Auburn, a little luck is always part of the formula to win it all. Nothing since that game suggests this game won’t stay “under” the total and kicking troubles continued for ‘Bama after the first meeting. If we was Les Miles, we’d talk the ref into callin’ timeouts during pre-game practice kicks just to get inside the Tide kicker's head and would burn more everytime he lined up for so much as a kickoff or an XP. As we noted earlier this year, LSU’s only bowl defeat in six previous seasons under Miles came vs. Penn State. ‘Bama’s won three of their four, clobbering #2 Texas in the ’09 BCS Title game. Both teams are deserving of the crown and we’re just hopin’ for another great game…Reauxll Tide 17 Bengals 15

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, scientists recently suggested they think they’ve isolated the “God particle”. We weren’t aware they’d been studying Tebow’s DNA!

After throwin’ four picks in the loss to Buffalo, suddenly-Tinier Tim said, “…Hopefully, we can get in the tournament.” At this pace, we see the Broncos makin’ the Big Dance as a 14-seed and goin’ one-and-done!

We offer a few apologies to Bruno Mars and take a few liberties with the lyrics to “Grenade”, crooning…“What ya don’t understannnnd is…. I’d get Brett Favre in a traaaaaaaade fer ya…..ride the bench ‘til he plaaaaayed fer yaaaaa….We’d stop the Rose Bowl paraaaaaade fer ya….oooh-oooh-oooh-ooooooh…I would go through alllllll this paaaaaainnnnn… watch my parlay go downnn the draaaaaaaain…. Yes, I would die for ya, baaaaaaaby…but you won’t do the same…If my forecast was on fiiiiiire….oooooooh, you’d watch it burn down in flame…You said you’d bet, but you’re a liar ‘cause you never…ever..everrrrrrrrr…did, Baby!”

Hell…we’d even spray Vindy’s Picks with some *Glaaaaaaade* fer ya…

U.S. credit got lowered in August from AAA to AA. The football team, however, now faces FCS squads such UMass and Appalachian State and with a little luck, at this pace, could be a provisional I-A WAC team facing the likes of Colorado State in the San Diego Federal Credit Union Bowl in the 2013 post-season! The Little Sisters of the Poor have already made it clear they don’t play Boise State, but they might sign just put U.S. Credit on the schedule!

An April 2011 edition of the Penn State Alumni newswire included a blurb entitled “$10M gift endows dean’s chair, ethics director”. By golly, this proud alum is happy (Valley???!!!) that we have a well-endowed dean’s chair and similarly-enhanced individual overseeing the Ethics Department! The visual, however, really haunts your humble host! (Yeah, yeah! Save the hate-mail. This item came out well-before revelations of the current troubles in State College!).

Given the difficulties of Heisman Trophy winners at the next level, we predict the absence of the highly-coveted hardware from the display case of LSU CB Tyrann Mathieu means a long and prosperous NFL career for the Homey Bencher...um…Hominy Belcher…Honey Blancher...er…Hyundai Bender???!!!.

The Monday-night Steelers-Niners game in San Francisco earlier this month suffered a couple of lengthy blackouts. We think that’s taking “candlestick” a bit too far, don’t you? Big Ben tossed a pair of early picks in that game. That’s what happens when ya wrap the ankle and the ball with phosphorescent tape! There’s a proposal afoot to build a new venue for the home team in Santa Clara. The Broncos, who shut down their gridiron squad in 1993, might have somethin’ to say about that.

Last January, Jets strength & conditioning coach and part-time special teams…er…um…”contributor”…Sal Alosi, who tripped an opposing punt-returner, resigned. Historians have learned that ancestors of the deposed mentor stood near the track and used their knees to cause the wheels to come off opposing chariots during races in ancient Rome!

On the boob tube...bettors wager on the total number of days it’ll take a crack renovation crew to turn a dumpy apartment into a rad pad in “Extreme Make-Over/Under: Home Edition”!

Madonna will play this season’s Super Bowl halftime. In honor of the Material Girl, kick-returners wanting to signal a fair-catch, instead of raising their arms above their heads, must…vogue!

Texas Governor Rick Perry said he hopes he’s the “Tim Tebow of the Iowa caucuses.” We’re not sure he could lead his camp to victory after being behind in the 4th Quarter, but we figure he’ll complete at least as many passes as the Broncos quarterback!

Much ado was made over North Korea’s ability to hide the death of Kim Jong Il from the world for two days. So what???!!! Some NFL teams don’t release injury information. The communist nation coulda’ broadcast footage of “Dear Leader” bein’ carted off the field and probably kept the whole Western world in the dark for another week! Can you say “Weekend at Kim Jong Il’s”???!!!!

Oh sure. Your fave team’s linemen can run-block and pass-block, but can they…writers’ block?! Yeah…we didn’t think so! Wussies!

Vindy’s Best Bowl Bets (Part II): Part I: 1-1 (with FSU-ND total TBA) Season: 35-34-1 (.507)
Illinois-UCLA “under” 47, Virginia-Auburn “under” 49, Houston -6 ½ over Penn State, Kansas State +7 ½ over Arkansas

C’mon back one more time a few days after completion of the BCS Title tilt as we offer our bowl recap and our “leftover hash”! Vin’s now off to try out the new video game he got for Christmas....Booty-Call of Duty!

Vindy's 2011-12 Bowl Predictions Part I

2011-12-15T19:40:00.000-08:00

FAN’S TATTOO TURNS INTO CASH COW

DENVER, Colorado (UPI)…What started out as a simple-but-reluctant, inked-skin tribute to an athlete by Juan Contreras, who did so grudgingly after losing a bet, became a lucrative business proposition for the NFL fan and now-entrepreneur, who quickly discovered other fans, bettors and non-sports-types only hoping to establish a rapport with a higher power (Editor’s note: “The Passer, The Son and The Holy Bootleg”?) would pay good money to see him bare the arm displaying his body-art homage and hold photos along with candles or incense lit by those persons while they chanted or prayed, thus becoming a human shrine to Denver quarterback Tim Tebow. Contreras only half-jokingly said he was “available for bar mitzvahs, holiday parties and kids’ birthdays!”

In related news, second-grade teachers to Professor-Emeritus-level English language department heads at prestigious universities predict the addition of the word “Tebowed” to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary by year’s end. The term is defined as an adjective indicating ”the condition resulting from the loss of certain victory during the waning moments of a competitive event in the wake of apparent divine intervention as orchestrated by an athlete of the name ‘Tebow’”!

Meanwhile, in Chicago, weeks of speculation were put to rest with the recently-leaked photos of Lindsey Lohan’s Playboy cover, which show the beleaguered actress sporting only strategically-placed excerpts from…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011-12 BOWL PREDICTIONS
(Only because Chuck Norris allows them to exist!)

DEC. 17
GILDAN NEW MEXICO (@ Albuquerque, NM): (over/under totals in parentheses)
Temple over Wyoming giving 6 ½ (49): Much respect to the Cowboys for nice 8-4 SU season (including three outright wins as dogs) behind a balanced offense led by freshman Brett Smith, who boasts 18-8 passing TD-to-INT ratio. Owls, however, have nation’s third-best scoring defense, with only LSU and ‘Bama yielding fewer points-per-game. In fact, Temple let only three opponents get outta’ da’ teens and pitched a pair of shutouts. We’d love to back Wyoming, but all four losses were by double-digits and Owls (8-4 this season, with 3 defeats of 4 or less, including 14-10 loss to Vindy’s alma mater) have something to prove after being snubbed for a bowl last year despite 8-4 record…Temple 34 Wyoming 20

FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO (@ Boise, ID):
Ohio over Utah State taking 2 ½ (57 ½): Aggies going to first post-season extravaganza in 14 years… Unfortunately, it turns out to be in Boise, Idaho! Bobblecats went 9-4 SU on the year, with three of those losses by combined 7 points, including a big stop-effort vs. potent Northern Illinois in the MAC title game. USU scored at least 21 in each contest and averaged 34 over last seven tilts that saw a five-game SU win-streak to close out the regular-season. Third straight bowl for Ohio and we’ll take the experience over Aggies squad under a first-year coach and which lost all three of its non-conference games…Ohio 24 USU 21

R+L CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS (@ New Orleans, LA):
Louisiana-Lafayette over San Diego State taking 5 (58 ½): Ragin’ Cajuns going to second-ever bowl, and first since the Apollo 13 launch and Tom Dempsey’s NFL-record boot of 63 yards, on the strength of 8-2 record through initial ten games of the year before losing last two. Lafayette will throw early and often. SDSU stops the pass fairly-well, yielding less than 200 yards per game. ULL cover 8 of its 11 games and averaged 32.3 ppg. Aztecs scored almost 30 per game while allowing less than 20 just three times, so we lean toward the “over”. Cajuns could win this if they can limit several State drives to FG attempts, where Aztecs have hit only 5 of 13 (with 3 makes coming inside 29 yards). Will the Aztecs spend too much time enticing the local N’awlins fauna into showing them their…uh…X’s and O’s????... Cajuns 34 SDSU 32

DEC. 20
BEEF O’BRADY’S ST. PETERSBURG (@ St. Petersburg, FL):
Florida International over Marshall giving 4 (51): Panthers, at 8-4 SU, in second bowl game (beating Toledo last season), while Herd had to beat East Carolina in OT in the regular-season finale to get eligible. Both teams won at Louisville early in the season (FIU by 7, Herd by 4) FIU went thru mid-season 6-game ATS skid before covering last three and suffered only two defeats in conference play…to Sun Belt champ Arkansas State and runner-up Western Kentucky. Marshall was spanked in 5 of its 6 losses (by 20 or more) and International’s good on defense.…FIU 29 Marshall 17

DEC. 21
SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA (@ San Diego, CA):
Louisiana Tech over #16 Texas Christian taking 10 ½ (55 ½): We expect a motivation problem for the Toads, who’ve landed here despite being Mountain Jest champions and having a lone loss by 2-points to now-ranked Baylor in the opener. TCU has dropped just one other game over the past three seasons. Frogs went just 5-6 against the line this year and though won 5 of last 6 bowls, did not cover the latest three. Only double-digit post-season victory was in ’06 over Northern Illinois. Bulldogs covered 10 of 11 this season and by 2 at CUSA champ Southern Miss, 1 to Houston and 6 at Mississippi State (and beat Ole Miss by 20!). Froggies are packing usual strong offense, scoring over 40 ppg, but the D is down a notch from previous editions, yielding over 21 per game…TCU 37 Weeziana Tech 34

DEC. 22
MAACO LAS VEGAS (@ Sin City, NV):
Arizona State over #8 Boise State taking 14 (65): After the missed kick that dropped Boise (1 or fewer losses for the 4th consecutive season) from BCS bowl consideration and relegated them to this Vegas trip, Broncos (on current 0-6 ATS slide) could display the apathy we anticipate by the aforementioned TCU team. Devils, who were ranked early but finished just 6-6 overall in a weak PAC-12 conference after allowing 33 ppg to lose four of last six games, provide Boise with another BCS conference team to defeat and the opportunity to showcase Kellen Moore again, but…BSU 36 ASU 27

DEC. 24
SHERATON HAWAII (@ Honolulu, HI):
#22 Southern Miss over Nevada-Reno giving 6 ½ (61): “Over” looks good here as both teams sport big offenses …. both in the top 13 in yardage, with Reno scoring 37 or more in more than half its games while SoMiss averaged 41 ppg from Game Three forward this year, covering 8 of last 10. Eagles, who were only club to take down high-flyin’ Houston (holding the Coogs to 28 points) and won CUSA as a result, aren’t terribly impressive vs. non-conference (currently 3-9 ATS), will lose Coach Fedora to North Carolina after the game and might be more-wowed by paradise than Wolfpack club that plays in the Islands every other year. UNR is about fifty-fifty ATS overall, but has dropped 3 of last 4 bowls outright, covering none. ‘Pack will lean slightly toward the run, but if either of its two quarterbacks makes an errant throw, we note USM has returned 8 of 18 picks for touchdowns…SoMiss 41 Reno 33

DEC. 26
ADVOCARE V100 INDEPENDENCE (@ Shreveport, LA):
Missouri over North Carolina giving 4 ½ (53 ½): No faith in either side and total is outta’ the question since Tarheels’ scoring has been all over the board. In consecutive weeks, UNC put up 49 on Wake Forest then followed up with a goose-egg vs. NC State. Tigers scoring defense took a step backward, going from 16 ppg in 2010 to 25.6 ppg allowed this year (23+ per tilt factoring in shutout vs. AA Western Illinois). Mizzou beat 3 of 5 ranked opponents. UNC faced three Top 25 teams (all ACC as well) and lost, on the road, to all of ‘em. Tigers are the hotter squad, winning 4 of their final 5 matches, with a 3-point loss at Baylor. UNC started well, grabbing five victories by mid-October, but fell in two of last four. Let’s confuse the issue just a bit more…Missouri has beaten the line just three of last eleven on neutral ground…Mizzou 27 UNC 20

DEC. 27
LITTLE CAESARS (@ Detroit, MI):
Western Michigan over Purdue taking 2 ½ (61): No strong opinion here as Purdue started the year edging Middle Tennessee and losing to Rice, but we suspect it’s another game in which “over” the total makes sense. Western Michigan, even without starting QB Carder for regular-season-ending game vs. Akron, broke 60 in two of last three and only three Purdue foes scored less than 24. Boilers are 0-fer-last seven vs. non-conference teams, though this is a very short line. Boilers won two of last three to get here. Third Big Tenderloin squad WMU has faced on the season, getting blasted at Michigan and losing by 3 at then-ranked Illinois. Not sure why you’d actually watch this one unless you’re an alum of either institution and two days after presents have been opened, the kids have abandoned the Glock Me, Elmo to the dogs, who’ve shredded said-toy beyond all recognition, leaving the shavings of a filed-off serial number and some polyester stuffing as evidence, but if you do, look for Broncos to go for it on 4th Down, having converted 17 of 22 in that situation on the year …WMU 41 Purdue 31

BELK (@ Charlotte, NC):
Louisville over NC State taking 2 ½ (45 ½): NCSU coach Tom O’Brien has prepared his teams well-enough to win 7 of their last eight bowl games (including six straight seasons at Boston College), by three or more in 6 of those victories, including a 23-7 win last year over West Virginia. That fact is probably driving the money coming in on the Wolfpack to increase the line. Neither team got off to a banner start. Da’ Ville struggled with a lot of new faces on offense and youth on both sides of the ball. State’s only wins in the first five games came vs. two FCS clubs. Cards rallied to win five of six. ‘Pack has been inconsistent all year. We prefer “under” the total, but we’ll say…Louisville 20 NC State 19

DEC. 28
MILITARY BOWL PRESENTED BY NORTHROP GRUMMAN (@ Washington, DC):
Toledo over Air Force giving 3 (70): The Flight Platoon does not share the propensity of the Middies to cover as dogs away from the respective academy and as previously-noted, USAF already has its desired hardware. Pilots pounded weaker opponents and improved on both sides of the ball over last five games, but that was against Army and lesser-MWC opponents. Rockets just lost HC Beckman to Illinois, but replaced him with the offensive coordinator. Potent Toledo has as many rushing TDs as passing scores (31) and boasts a 92% success rate in the red zone. Air Force will need to grind it out to have any shot here. Toledo is a nice plus-16 in turnovers. Flyboys broke even in that category …Spacemen 44 Air Force 34

BRIDGEPOINT EDUCATION HOLIDAY (@ San Diego, CA):
California over Texas taking 3 (47): Bears haven’t played a true home game this season, playing at AT&T Park when not on the road. Cal won four of last six following three straight excusable defeats to Washington, Oregon and USC and covered 5 of last 6 (only two as a dog). ‘Horns have been inconsistent all season, though we note all five losses came vs. teams who are or were ranked during the year. Steers struggle in the red zone, scoring on just 73.47% of their trips inside the 20, while allowing opponents to do so 86% of the time. Texas is contemplating creation of an “unmanned port of entry”. In our experience, that situation creates one of two things…1) a successful draw play or 2) a sack!...Berkeley 23 Texas 20

DEC. 29
CHAMPS SPORTS (Orlando, FL):
#25 Florida State over Notre Dame giving 3 (61): Both squads fell off the national radar quickly with early-season losses, but ‘Noles made a furious charge at the ACC Championship that came up a bit short, but saw them beat opponents by an average margin of 16 ppg. Irish got bashed by the better teams they faced and were sloppy with the ball, going -11 in turnover margin in their defeats. Injuns will have to stop ND running game that produced 25 touchdowns, but have more experience than the Catholics and have won 18 of 26 under Jimbo Fisher…Chop 26 Rudy 19

VALERO ALAMO (@ San Antonio, TX):
Washington over #15 Baylor taking 9 (78): The “over” will likely be a popular wager, with Baylor games exceeding the total in 9 of 11, but Da’ Bears didn’t score nearly as much away from Waco (36+ per game) as they did on the homefield (48-and-change per game). RG# and his teammates on offense wield a big stick, but the stop-squad yields tons to opponents. Huskies have recorded first back-to-back winning SU years since ’01-’02, but went 1-3 ATS vs. ranked teams, losing by 13, 17, 17 and 44 (at Stanford). Bears gave up 24 to anemic Texas team. Heisman Trophy winner Griffin grabs Bears’ 10th outright victory then declares himself eligible as an underclassman for April’s pro draft, but neither team excites us ATS vs. non-conference, so we’ll go with…Baylor 37 UDUB 31

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, the Lohan pictures not only gave the world a premature view of the much-anticipated layout for the world-famous gentlemen’s mag, they also provided bettors an early look at Vindy’s post-season predictions and sent sportsbooks scurrying to adjust their lines before the onslaught.

The former child fashion model also explained she does nude pics because it gives her “confidence”. Needing a little self-esteem boost himself, Vindicator is wearin’ nuthin’ but Old Spice as we speak!

Hallmark now makes a recordable storybook. How ‘bout a nice recordable playbook for that special player in your life so they can hear Coach’s voice, “even when he’s gone back to Nevada!????”

For Christmas, Vindicator wants a pair of Freudian slippers, which call out someone else’s name every time you get into them!

Also hopefully finding its way under Weber’s tree…the latest version of a popular military shoot-‘em-up that takes place on campuses from Laramie, Wyoming to Las Vegas to Albuquerque, New Mexico…Call of Duty: MWC!

As the Las Vegas Bowl celebrates its 20th anniversary, we point out that the post-season extravaganza is officially-known as the “MAACO Bowl of Las Vegas”. Given that the entire sponsor-company name is actually MAACO Car Repair and Auto Painting, we understand the use of the shortened version since the extended acronym would be… MAACO CRAP!

The Mountain Jest Conference just sent a letter to the powers-that-be asking for a BCS bid. The letter started out…”Dear Santa...”

We salute the Hilltoppers of Western Kentucky, who after going 4-32 SU in first three years of live-fire I-A competition, posted a 7-5 record, including a 6-1 Shun Belt tally that put ‘em in second-place behind only Arkansas State and did not get a bowl bid, while FIU and Weeziana-Lafayette are in post-season tilts on the strength of 8-4 overall records, but finished behind WKU in conference play.

Vegas big-wig Steve Wynn has won his bid this week to build a casino resort in Foxboro, Massachusetts right next to Gillette Stadium. Vindy’s spies indicate gamblers win jackpots if their slot-machines line-up three Tom Brady interceptions!

In April, ex-University of San Diego players and an assistant coach were indicted in a point-shaving scheme and on charges of intent to distribute marijuana (2008 thru early 2010). Hmmm…were those events hyped as “Hoops for Hemp”? “Misses for MaryJane?” “Clanks for Cannabis???!!!” “Air-Balls for Blunts???!!!”

Days before the infamous airing of the “Fab Five” documentary in March, ESPN analyst Jalen Rose was arrested on DUI suspicion. Seems the former Dukie had a few too many Uncle Tom Collins before getting behind the wheel!

Vindy’s Best Part I Bowl Bets: Last Week: 1-0 Season: 34-33-1 (.507)
Louisiana Tech +10 ½ over Texas Christian, Southern Miss-UNR “over” 61, Florida State-Notre Dame “under” 61

We’ll return on or around December 29 with our thoughts on the remaining games, our “lock of da’ bowls” and more holiday “hash”!

We extend our annual holiday greeting to the readership…”Pass on Earth. Goodwill toward linemen.”

Vindy's Picks Army-Navy 2011

2011-12-07T14:14:00.000-08:00

VEHICLE ACCIDENT BRINGS LEGAL CONSEQUENCES FOR PLAYER

PORTLAND, Oregon (AP)…Already sidelined for two games following his on-the-field misbehavior, Detroit’s Ndamukong Suh now faces civil and criminal charges by the National Forestry Service, the Department of the Interior and the Environmental Protection Agency after crashing his 1970 Chevy Coupe into a tree last Saturday night in his hometown. Suh and his two passengers walked away unhurt, but the traffic cam on a nearby light pole captured the Lions’ defensive tackle stomping the fallen elm. Forensic scientists for the Portland PD confirmed the presence of puncture marks consistent with the cleats Suh was wearing at the time of the accident, not only on the tree, but also on a curb, the aforementioned lamp post and a water fountain, all of which were clipped by the car as it careened off the road. Reached for comment later, Mike Tyson said he was “appalled” at the player’s antics.

Championship Week left us at an unhappy 6-6 (106-138-2, .432). In related news, Las Vegas was named the 10th “saddest city” in the country and that was before the folks at Men’s Health Magazine got a look at the fallout from…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 ARMY-NAVY FORECAST
(Pulling KP duty at halftime!)

Navy over Army giving 7 (@ Landover, MD): The outcome here impacts…nothing but pride, as neither the Cadets (3-8 SU; beating Northwestern, Tulane and FCS-Fordham…all on the home obstacle course at West Point and two close losses…by 3 at San Diego State and 7 to Miami-Ohio) nor the Midshipmen (4-7 SU) qualify for the post-season, and the Commander-in-Chief Trophy already belongs to Air Force, who beat them both (Navy by 1 on the road, Army by 10 at home). In the other common-opponent game, Army lost by 15 on a neutral site to the Scarlet Knights. Navy lost at Rutgers by 1 in the true road game. Neither squad is particularly attractive against the spread either with Army at 4-6 ATS and Navy at dart-throw-worthy 5-5. Following up on a tidy tidbit by Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com , the Soldiers have marched away with an outright win in just one of last 17 facing other service schools since 2003. That same pub would now show the Ensigns winning 15 of their last 17 straight-up vs. military academies since that same year (covering 14 of ‘em!). Middies are bowl-less for first time since 2002. Navy brought back just 3 starters on the stop-side of the ball, but outside giving away the farm to Southern Miss and Notre Dame, the scoring-defense wasn’t terrible, yielding 27 ppg (up 4 ppg from last year’s overall tally) and the Sailors are respectable 4-2 ATS away from the home marina (though four of those six games ended up in SU defeats). Omitting 55 vs. AA-Fordham, Army’s offensive output has taken a nose-dive, going from average of 26 points per game through the end of October to roughly half of that, at just 13.3 ppg in its three November matches. Despite a plus-eight turnover margin, Middies will absorb their lowest SU-win total since registering just a pair of victories in 2002, but have 5 losses by total of 11 points on the year, including a three-point loss at ranked South Carolina that came prior to the Poultry’s loss of Marcus Lattimore to injury. Army missed playing anyone from the Top 25 for the fourth consecutive season. And minus the aforementioned games, have lost the remainder of this season’s tilts by at least two touchdowns. Army last knocked off a fellow service academy in 2005 (beating an Air Force team that went 4-7 that year) and has been on the wrong side of the turnover margin (currently -8) for the first time in three seasons. As always, both sides are run-heavy, as Army tops the country in rushing yardage and rushing yards per game, while Navy comes in at #5 nationally (and could move to 4th in yardage and 3rd in per game average with a solid outing) and draw less than a combined 7 flags per game between ‘em, so it should be a fairly-quickly moving affair. Navy does have a little more than a moment-of-prayer for the passing game, throwing for 10 scores while suffering 6 interceptions. Army has a 4-4 ratio. Gettin’ down (-periscope) to brass tack(le)s, we think the Middies will get enough turnovers and go on to cover the victory, which we’ll predict to be….Boat People 30 Ground-Pounders 19

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

From a recent military-academy Political Science multiple-guess exam…”Arab Spring” is a…
a) brand of soap
b) body of water
c) part of a Middle-Eastern mattress
d) season that precedes Indian Summer
e) play Coach reserves for the two-point conversion

Vindy can “Name That Platoon” in less than three notes!

If a team develops runny noses after facing the Middies, is it considered post-Naval drip???!!!!

If an opposing skater gets knocked off the puck by a Middie, is it “a ship-check and a beauty”????

If Saruman from Lord of the Rings coached either team this week, would his pre-game or halftime speech include, “You do not know pain. You do not know fear. You will taste...man-flesh!!!”

AFLAC has taken over sponsorship of the Heisman Trophy. Can’t wait to see the duck present the hardware to the winner, who will then extoll the virtues of having medical coverage and the cash to pay da’ bills following injury on the field!!!!.

BTW, responding to an open audition to be the new voice of the AFLAC duck following the dismissal of Gilbert Gottfried, the fab forecaster didn’t make the cut as the result of continually babbling, “Haaaaaalffback!”

As ABC Family runs its holiday-programming, including the Harry Potter series, we note there was really no need for the ‘books to worry about the lockouts of the NFL and NBA. There was always the hope of increased wagering on Quidditch!

Also on the small screen, a new holiday special… Dr. Seuss meets the NHL, as Mike Myers laces up the skates and scores three goals in…”A Cat in Da’ Hat-Trick”!!!!

Venus Williams made a hasty exit from the court during a “friendly” in Italy over the weekend as one of her own line of clothing nearly left more than her game exposed. Perhaps the self-described “eleVen” line should be known as “eleVent”!

“Wish I Had That One Back”: We switched our initials picks on not only Oklahoma State as noted, but also on New Mexico! Those decisions cost us a pair of forecast dubyas! OUCH!

“Locked in a Box?”: In rare Thursday night “lock” pick, the Mouseketeers of West Virginia made it interesting, but won as a pick ‘em and take the tally to .500 at 7-7.

Shoppe Talk: Michigan State (1-8, .111) and Wisconsin (4-8, .333) finally cut us a break, but Virginia Tech (1-11, .083), Clemson (3-8, .272) and Oklahoma State (3-9, .250) and took us out behind the woodshed… AGAIN!

Vindy’s Best Bets: Last Week: 2-1 Season: 33-33-1 (.500)
Army-Navy “under” 57 ½

Don’t touch that dial-up Internet….we’ll be back around December 17 with the first installment of our infamous bowl predictions!

Vindy's 2011 Championship Week Picks

2011-11-30T14:56:00.000-08:00

“BANNER” MISHAPS SPUR CALL FOR EASIER ANTHEM

DETROIT, Michigan (ITAR-Tass)…A joint task force of officials from the various professional sports, as well as those from the amateur ranks, has sent out a cry to the country to submit suggestions for more-easily crooned pre-game songs after former American Idol contestant Lauren Alainas, at the Thanksgiving Day football game between the Packers and Lions, became the latest in a string of performers to muck-up the lyrics to the National Anthem. Reminiscent of Christina Aguilera’s muffed attempt before February’s Super Bowl, Sammy Haggar’s blown effort preceding the San Francisco Giants’ World Series ring ceremony in April and a multitude of similar blunders in years past by famed celebrities such as Michael Bolton, Steven Tyler and…Hillary Clinton, Alainas’ slip-up was the last straw for those wanting to restore the dignity of the nation’s theme song. Responses have poured in from around the globe, including such repetitive staples as Los Lobos’ “La Bamba”, the “Macarena”, “99 Bottles of Beer”, even “867-5309 Jenny” from Tommy Tutone and the Iron Butterfly classic…“In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.”

In related news, Vindicator (7-8-1 last week, 100-132-2, .432 season) was in da’ Big Apple helpin’ Justin Bieber forget the words to “Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town” during his live Turkey Day performance on the “Today” show. After the program ended, Mother Nature came forward and accused the 20-year-old pop star of fathering not only her two sons, Snow-Mizer and Heat-Mizer, but also of siring…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK FORECAST
(Still wiping off the pepper-spray from that Black Friday door-buster adventure at the sportsbook!)

THURS. DEC. 1
#22 West Virginia over SOUTH FLORIDA (PK): LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Big Least teams have been knocking each other off much of the year and South Florida’s numbers ain’t exactly chopped liver, ranking in the 30’s nationally on offense and defense, but perhaps the 52nd in points-scored explains some of the 1-5 SU record in conference play. West Virginia thrives behind Geno Smith’s passing, tops in the conference. Bulls have a middlin’ pass D. Oddly, Mounties’ one SU/ATS Big Least road loss came at Syracuse, a team the Bulls smoked 37-17. USF has won and covered just one of three weekday games on the season, just 3 of 13 altogether recently…West Virginia 27 USF 20

FRI. DEC. 2
PAC-12 Championship
#8 OREGON over Ucla giving 31 ½: Ducks get the home Pond by virtue of having the best conference record. Bruins backed their way into the title game because Utah lost to Colorado and the Trojans are forced to sit in the corner of the locker room, facing the wall, until next season. Rick Neuheisel has been given his walking papers and UCLA did not dent the scoreboard in 50-0 loss to USC. The positive note is that the Bruins will face a monster rushing attack instead of the monster passing game they saw last week. Uclans have covered one of the six roadies this season and are 4-7 ATS overall. After September ended, Mallards beat just one team this badly. Until 2010’s 60-13 thumping by Oregon, the prior five games were decided by 16 or less…Quack Attack 48 UCLA 13

MAC Championship (@ Detroit, MI)
Ohio over Northern Illinois taking 4: Third MAC championship game appearance for each team. Total conference titles between ‘em?…Zero! Offensively, these two put up gaudy yardage, surpassed in conference only by Toledo. Huskies are run-heavy and score about 8 ppg more than Bobblecats, who are well-balanced with a slight lean to the air game. Defensive edge goes to Ohio, with NIU holding only Kent State, Bowling Green and Eastern Michigan in the teens. EMU may have provided the defensive blueprint, limiting Northern Illinois to 18 points last week. ‘Dogs have a lot of senior starters and have won 10 games. ‘Cats have good depth, leading to 9 victories. Both come in at unimpressive 5-6 ATS…Ohio 34 Northern Illinois 31

SAT. DEC. 3
SEC Championship (@ Atlanta, GA):
#1 Louisiana State over #12 Georgia giving 13: The only comparable game Joja’ played this year was 14-point neutral site loss to Boise to open the season. Tigers continue to win the turnover battle to pull away by double-digits. No reason to expect anything different here. Damn-good thing LSU won the West outright on Friday. Given the CBS poll that left no doubt the fans did not want a three-way tie-breaker being decided by the BCS rankings, the next step was to send the matter to Washington to be settled by…the Supercommittee! Bengals secure a National Title game berth for not only themselves, but also for the Crimson Tide…Tigers 27 Dawgs 12

#2 Alabama: IDLE (next…da’ Bowls!)

#13 Oklahoma over #3 OKLAHOMA STATE taking 3 ½: De facto Big Twelve championship game. We changed our initial choice here. The teams are evenly-matched, but we’ll lean toward the Sooners, who’ve won eight straight years in the Bedlam series (covering last six, including 47-41 win as 2 ½-point dog last year) and have more wins over ranked clubs by greater disparities than the Cowpokes. “Over” the total would likely be the best wager … State 41 OU 39

#4 Stanford: IDLE (next…da’ Bowls!)

ACC Championship (@ Atlanta, GA)
#5 Virginia Tech over #21 Clemson giving 8: Tigers are floundering badly and were held to 153 yards in loss to the Chicken Nuggets. We saw this demise by Clemson last year too, as it dropped four of its final six, including the bowl. Not a true road game, but CU has been outscored in last three games away from home by margin of 102-43. Hokies have four wins by 7 or less this season, but also have revenge factor for earlier 20-point loss to Clemson at Blacksburg. Tech made good Virginia team look more like New Mexico, winning 38-0 last week…VT 27 Clemson 13

#6 Arkansas: IDLE (next…da’ Bowls!)

CUSA Championship
#7 HOUSTON over #24 Southern Miss giving 13: Coogs, one of two remaining unbeatens, are another club hosting a championship match as the result of the better overall regular-season record. Houston opened its home season by edging UCLA by 4, but nobody else has come close to the Cougars at Robertson Stadium. Best scoring-offense SoMiss has faced was Navy, whom the Eagles beat significantly in Annapolis. USM also took out Virginia on the road and has covered 9 of last 11. Defense is a concern however, as the Birds give up 24 ppg. Houston has surprisingly held last four opponents to 17 or less, but even if there’s a return-to-form and SoMiss grabs…let’s say…34ish, UH could still hit high-40’s or early 50’s with current average output of obscene 52.7 ppg. Bet against Case Keenum and his ‘mates at yer own risk…Houston 45 USM 28

#9 (tie) BOISE STATE over New Mexico giving 49: This has backdoor-cover written all over it and the Taters haven’t beaten the spread since mid-October, but did previously defeat Fresno and Colorado State each by fitty in back-to-back road games. Lobos haven’t faced Boise, but lost by 49 at Arkansas, 46 to Texas Tech, 42 to both Reno and Air Force and 69 at TCU. UNM has nothing to play for. Neither does Coach Lockley, who won’t need to board the plane home to Albuquerque after the game having won three matches in as many years…BSU 54 Lobos 3
#9 (tie) USC: IDLE (next…um…er…2012 regular-season!)

Big Tennyson Championship (@ Indianapolis, IN)
#11 Michigan State over #15 Wisconsin taking 9 ½: Michigan State is #14 in rushing defense, but a reasonable day here would put Wisky RB Montee Ball in a spot to tie or bust Barry Sanders’ season-TD record in the bowl game. Sparty won the regular-season match-up 37-31…and last year’s meeting as well, but both were in East Lansing. State’s gone just 2-2 ATS in previous dog roles in 2011. Badgers’ only win this close was 11-pointer at Illinois. MSU needs another big effort from QB Kirk Cousins, who launched the last-second heave that gave Spartans the upset back in late October and is second in the Big 10 in passing yardage and third in TD-to-INT ratio at 21-6. Local writer Ron Kantowski, like many others, made sport of the names of the Big Ten’s two divisions… ”Leaders” and “Legends”. Frankly, we’d go with “Floyd of Rosedale Division” and “Little Brown Jug Division”! ...Cheese-Heads 28 MSU 24

#14 South Carolina: IDLE (next…da’ Bowls!)

Iowa State over #16 KANSAS STATE taking 10 ½: Not supporting a lot of dogs this week, but we definitely like ISU in this spot. Cyclones seem to get up for the big ones (four straight covers vs. the Top 25), beating Oklahoma State and enjoying a three-game SU win-streak before falling Saturday to the Sooners, while holding them to 26 points. After a lengthy term getting points, pressure’s now back on K-State to perform as a double-digit fave. ‘Cats did cover both DD chalk opportunities vs. Kent State and Kansas. We think the bye may break enough of KSU’s momentum…KSU 24 ISU 17

#17 Michigan: IDLE (next…da’ Bowls!)

Nevada-Las Vegas over #18 TCU taking 39: UNLV has lightened (?) its non-conference line-up by adding Utah State, Weeziana Tech, Wazzou and…Minnesota. (We think this was a ploy by the Golden O-fers to actually make their own slate easier by adding the Rebels to eliminate those annual losses to one of the double-A Dakota schools!). Horny Toads are 1-3 ATS at home, gain zilch with a blow-out and scoring only in the 30’s the past four games. If the Rebels display any effort at all, they should cover this…Froggies 42 Rabbles 10

#19 BAYLOR over Texas giving 2 ½: BU QB Robert Griffin da’ Third returns from injury, but even if he can’t go the whole way, all his back-up, Nick Florence, did in the second half vs. Texas Tech was go 9-fer-12 for 151 yards and two touchdowns…oh and…run for another score! Baylor D will make Steers’ offense look better than it has been and ‘Horns managed to rally to beat rival A&M, but they won’t keep up here…Baylor 41 Texas 31

#20 Nebraska: IDLE (next…da’ Bowls!)

#23 Penn State: IDLE (next…da’ Bowls!)

#25 Florida State: IDLE (next…da’ Bowls!)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, Ms. Aguilera belted out, ”What so proudly we watched at the twilight’s last reaming,”. If ever there was good cause to lip-synch, we’d certainly recommend that tactic for celebrities who get tabbed to sing this particular tune in front of a global audience! “Mr. Vanilli…Mr. Milli Vanilli…to the white courtesy phone, please.”

Ironically, Bieber would simply end up repeating the line, “He’s makin’ a list and bettin’ it twice..”!

Goshen College removed the “Star-Spangled Banner” off the school band’s playlist due to lyrical references to war and defense of the nation via military power. We suppose Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the USA” and Green Day’s “American Idiot” are outta’ da’ question as well!

The chalk rebounded hard this week, covering 12 of 16, after the dogs owned the line in Week 12.

The secret to a winning season for UNLV might simply be to reduce the game from 60 minutes to 30 as the Rabbles wasted another solid first-half, that saw them up 14-0 on San Diego State, then watching the Aztecs reel off the next 31 unanswered points to blow the win and force Rebel-backers (both of ‘em) to rip up their tickets for the first time in four home games.

Dallas tight end Jason Witten tackled Cowboys cheerleader Melissa Kellerman as he rumbled outta’ bounds during the 4th Quarter of the game vs. the Dolphins. Witten mistakenly thought the winsome woman had grabbed yet-another interception by QB Tony Romo. (And replay officials up in the booth, after reviewing the play, ruled Kellerman got both pom-poms down inbounds and awarded her possession of the ball anyway!)

Next gig for Lions’ Ndamukong Suh? How ‘bout a starring role in the remake of…”Stomp the Yard”???!!!

If the band for a college hoops team is struggling during the halftime performance, would Dick Vitale recommend calling “a T.O., Bayy-beeeeeee!”??????!!! Or for a player on parole...”You better call your P.O., Baaay-beeeeee!!!!”

Congrats to the Runnin’ Rebels hoops team for toppling then-#1 North Carolina on the hardwood. Nice to know the sizable wins over Morgan State and Cal Poly-San Pepto-Bismol weren’t just teasers setting up locals for a major letdown!

Ballers Carmelo Anthony and Chris Paul took part in a Chinese opera mask dance. Ho-hum. They’ll never compare to Shaq’s Jabbawockeez performance. But when Charles Barkley, Yao Ming or Dirk Nowitski slaps on the mime face-paint and performs the invisible box (and one?!) illusion, call us!

Herman Cain this week said, “9-9-9. We’re doing fine.” But we’re guessing that when the Republican nominee for president is chosen in the near-future, we’ll hear “9-9-9. Cain rides da’ pine.” and “6-6-6. It’s back to bread stix.”

Despite the poor year overall, we note that our preferred selections (“lock” picks and “best bets”) combined to go 14-9 (.608) the past four weeks, 11-6 (.647) over the last three! And the best thing about bein’ here at Vindy’s Picks is that no matter how dismal the regular-season record, we always go bowlin’!!!

SEASON RECAP:
Best Weekly Effort: Week Four’s 10-8 (.555) barely edged Week Twelve’s 11-9 (.550).

Worst Weakly “Effort”: No contest here…Week Eight’s 5-13 (.277)!

WEBER-FRIENDLIES (Best percentage on the predicted side of the spread; minimum 7 at-bats in the forecast): Slim-pickins, but the 2011 Allstate “Yer in Good Hands” award goes to…the Florida Gators (6-1, 857). Second Place to the Cornbread of Nebraska (7-4, .636) and Honorable Mention to the Wolverines of Big Blue (5-3, 625).

FLAME-THROWERS (Worst percentage on the predicted side of the spread): There were waaaaaayy too many candidates vying this season, but this year’s “Grill-Master Supreme” trophy goes to…Michigan State (0-8, .000). “Suckin’ Place” lands squarely in the lap of VirginiaTech (1-10, .091) and Dishonorable Mention to a somewhat surprise-contender…the Mounted Ears of West Virginia (2-7, .222)!

Didn’t make the cut, but we’ll be watchin’: Ohio State and Joja’ Tech, both at 2-6 (.250), Oklahoma State and Wisconsin, both at 3-8 (.272) and Clemson (3-7, .300).

Thanks for playing: Houston fell just one win or loss short of going home with some hardware at 5-1 (.833) and the O-fers of Minnesota make our Christmas card list at 4-1 (.800).

“Locked in a Box?”: Wyoming hung in at Boise State and raises the record to 6-7 (.461)

Shoppe Talk: Michigan State 0-8, .000), VirginiaTech (1-10, .090), Badgers tie idle Oklahoma State at 3-8 (.272)

Vindy’s Championship Week Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 31-32-1 (.493)
Wyoming -5 ½ over COLORADO STATE, Weeziana-Monroe -7 ½ over FLORIDA ATLANTIC, BAYLOR -2 ½ over Texas

Everybody…sing! “Headddddd…shoulders, knees and toes! Headddddd…shoulders, knees and toes!”

Stay tuned. We'll be back next week with thoughts on Army-Navy!

Vindy's Picks Week 13-2011

2011-11-23T18:01:00.000-08:00

SPORTS STUMPS ANOTHER CANDIDATE

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (MSNBC)…Call it “Ball 2, Politicians 0” with yet-another Republican presidential candidate falling to an off-the-cuff question. Herman Cain was caught behind the basketball last week during an interview when he responded to a question about his thoughts on Obama’s handling of the NBA labor dispute. After clearly struggling to formulate an answer, Cain responded “He supported the lock-out, correct?...I have all this stuff twirling around in my head.” That statement prompted media to wonder if Cain was envisioning drum majorettes… or perhaps the Harlem Globetrotters spinning balls on their fingers…in his mind’s eye. The politician tried to explain the goof on having just “four hours sleep”, leading one reporter to query, “Just four hours? We thought you owned a pizza joint, not a donut shop! How late does that place of yours stay open anyway?!”

Vindy wasn’t getting a lot of shut-eye either when he penned Week Twelve’s picks, that went 11-9 (93-124-1, .429), but for a few Washingtons, you can get a French Cruller, a cold brew and a hot slice of pie that’s half-pepperoni and half…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 13 FORECAST
(Cowering behind the candied yams!)

FRI. OCT. 25
#3 Arkansas over #1 LSU taking 12 ½: The SEC West holds the top three spots in this week’s AP Poll...and the BCS. Hogs bring the third-best offense the Bengals have faced to Baton Rouge, where the Tigers are 2-2 ATS. Fourth true road game for the Razorbacks, who squeaked by both lightweight Mississippi and rising Vanderbilt. Pigs’ only SU defeat came at ‘Bama (by 24). LSU takes on seventh Top 25 opponent after holding four of the previous six to 11 points or less, while yielding 20’s to the other pair. Hogs face their fifth ranked foe, going 3-1 ATS in the prior four. At what point, if at all, will Les Miles go into “play not to lose” and/or “no injuries” mode? Neither team was challenged last week as they combined to belt the two Magnolia State schools by collective 96-20…Bengals 24 Pork Chops 20

#8 Houston over TULSA giving 3: No question Golden Hurricane has one of the few offenses that could hang with the Cougars, scoring about 34 points a game behind a nice rushing attack. Tulsa’s won six straight, going 5-1 ATS, taking all but one by margins of at least 17. ‘Cane is, however, just 2-3 ATS at home this season, 1-1 vs. ranked teams and won last year, 28-25. Both squads are unbeaten in the conference at 6-0 and winner goes on to the CUSA title match against probably Southern Miss. UH is 3-2 as road chalk, with only one spread in single-digits. Despite the major upsets of late, we just can’t go against Case Keenum with a line this short…Houston 34 Tulsa 27

#22 NEBRASKA over Iowa giving 9 ½: Big Red 27 Iowa 16

SAT. OCT. 26
#2 Alabama over AUBURN giving 21: Both teams come in after uninspired wins over I-AA teams. Tide was up just 10 at the half vs. Joja’ Southern before pulling away with scores late in each of the third- and fourth quarters, while the Tigers got by Samford , 35-16. With the exception of 2008 ‘Bama win by 36-0, the Iron Bowl has been tightly-contested and Tide is just 1-5 ATS the past six years in this one, but ‘Bama had Auburn on the ropes last season and let them off, leading, of course, to the Tigers’ eventual national title. Tigers have been whacked hard by the better teams on their slate and scored only 10 vs. LSU. They may not hit double-digits here. Tide’s had two games to get over the one that got away…Alabama 34 War Eagle 9

#4 STANFORD over #23 Notre Dame giving 6 ½: Stanford 34 I-Wish 17

#5 Oklahoma State: IDLE (next vs. Oklahoma)

#24 VIRGINIA over #6 Virginia Tech taking 5: Cavs are hot and escaped FSU with the upset on the heels of yet-another blown high-pressure kick. UVA can steal a chance to play for ACC championship with the victory, but in any case, we like the home-dog getting’ almost a TD from Tech team whose defense is not up to traditional Beamer Ball standards, allowing North Carolina to nearly obliterate its 17-point 3rd Quarter lead two weeks ago. Tech did manage to stave off Joja’ Tech’s late rally to cover last week. With admittedly a little malice aforethought, we’ll call it…Virginia 20 Hokies 19

Wyoming over #7 BOISE STATE taking 32 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. We’d be surprised to see Boise garner anything better than a post-season trip to Vegas at this point. Cowboys are having a nice year, already grabbing seven SU wins (four in the Mountain Jest), including upset victories over Bowling Green, San Diego State and Air Force, with a likely eighth at Colorado State following this game. Wyoming has been a strong road dog the last two-plus seasons, going 12-3, 3-1 this season) and should be able to stay within the generous number behind conference’s #3 rushing game. Broncos-backers have torn up their tickets four times in as many home tilts for Boise…Taters 41 Wyoming 27

Oregon State over #9 OREGON taking 28: Mallards 37 Beavers 13

Ucla over #10 USC taking 14 ½: Bruins are in “save Coach Neuheisel’s job” mode…again, and have won and covered three of their last four games (losing badly in only road game of that span…at Utah). Trojans have played their “bowl game”, upsetting Oregon, but could still win the 12-PACK South and the conference, both of which get ‘em…home for the holidays (but could send a message for next season). Troy has won this series in each of last four years by margins of 14, 21, 21 and 17 (2-2 ATS). UCLA is already bowl-eligible, but would certainly savor a victory here, which would send it to the conference championship game. Bruins are lousy as road dogs, mired in current 5-15 ATS skid in that role…USC 27 UCLA 16

NORTHWESTERN over #11 Michigan State taking 6 ½: MSU 31 NW 27

Iowa State over #12 OKLAHOMA taking 28: Sooners 37 ISU 17

#13 Georgia over #25 GEORGIA TECH giving 6: UGA 30 Bees 21

#18 Clemson over #14 SOUTH CAROLINA taking 4: Yeah, Clemson was clearly apathetic about NC State game with ACC title game berth in pocket, but geez…20-point loss??!!! There will be more fervor this week, facing rival South Carolina. QB Connor Shaw continues to be the offense for the Poultry, who has pounded the Tigers the past two years despite small lines like this one. Chicken Wings had a feisty Citadel on their hands last week, but won eventually by three scores. Tigers have dropped two of last three and are struggling to score points (0-3 ATS and allowing 36 ppg over last five)…Clemson 17 KFC 14

#20 Penn State over #15 WISCONSIN taking 14 ½: Pass D on down-and-distance continues to plague the Lions and it’s gonna’ be a long day if Russell Wilson starts converting those opportunities consistently to open up the run. When State has the ball, they’ll need their own ground game that went for 6 yards per carry vs. the Buckeyes to keep Wisky’s O on the sidelines and will need to avoid turnovers. Badgers aren’t invincible by any means, getting burned for big numbers in losses at Michigan State and Ohio State and could’ve lost outright to Illinois, rallying from double-digit holes. Badgers just 2-3 ATS over last 5 games. Lions are poor as road dogs at 2-5 the last three-plus seasons. The inaugural Big Tentacle title game vs. Sparty awaits the winner. Again, we think the “under” is the best wager, given State’s games have finished “under” the total in nine of their ten outings (We cashed an “under 39” ticket last week, sweating the final half-hour following the 34 points scored in the first half of the PSU-OSU game). The alma mater might pull this off with a flawless game and obviously, we hope they do, but we’ll just conservatively say… Wisconsin 23 PSU 14

#16 Kansas State: IDLE (next vs. Iowa State)

#17 MICHIGAN over Ohio State giving 7 ½: Big Blue’s complete domination of Big Dread probably has Huskers fans wondering why they bolted the Big 12, and we’re still wondering how Michigan lost to Iowa. Wolverines finally have an opportunity to regain some respect after losing seven straight years to the Buckeyes. Both come in with defenses ranked the mid-teens nationally, but UM can score points in bunches. Win or lose, State will record its lowest SU victory total in over a decade. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com had OSU with country’s best November SU tally since 2005 at 16-1, but Buckeyes are already 1-2 this month. Given the chance, Michigan will pile on…UM 31 OSU 13

#19 TCU: IDLE (next vs. UNLV)

Texas Tech (GASP!) over #21 Baylor taking 12 (@ Cowboy Stadium): Kudos to the Bears for signature-win over Oklahoma. We wonder though how many folks remember Tech also lowered the boom on the Sooners…in Norman. Red Raiders haven’t been the same since though, losing four straight (1-3 ATS, averaging 15 ppg). Last three in the series have gone to Tech, all by 7. Bears and Raiders boast #5 and #8 passing offenses, respectively and with both sides yielding big points to opponents, “shootout” is written all over this, so the only one likely to doink a punt off the low-hanging Jumbo-Tron at Jerry World is…Vindicator!...Bears 42 Texas Tech 37

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

We’d been waiting on the dogs to post their annual domination week and they did so, covering 15 of the 20 Top 25 games last week. Eight teams getting points won outright (and your humble host called 3 of the 8 upsets).

Rich Rodriguez seems to be making his way westward across the country. The former head man of the Mountaineers took his wares to Michigan, and will now call Tucson, Arizona his home. We predict RichRod will be doing the coaching thing at Aloha Stadium to start the 2014 season and could be leading the provisional-Sun Belt North Koreans onto the field 36 months later!

Lee Corso dropped the F-bomb on live TV over the weekend while giving his pick for the Houston-SMU tilt. Rumor has it U2 front-man Bono will take his place for next Saturday’s presentation of “College Game Day”!

Vindy’s attention was caught by a February AP news article hawking the headline, “Obama laments anew about ‘bubble’”. Your humble host was unaware that the White House was potentially fielding a team, at the time, in the NCAA Tournament! Apparently, the Capitol squad was eventually relegated to the NIT or CBI, but hey, with the expansion to 68 teams and the “First Four”, we encourage them to keep swingin’!

Last May, Oprah reserved the United Center in Chicago to host one of her final shows the same day as the potential initial contest of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Heat and the Bulls. The good news? Everybody in the audience went home with an NBA title!!!!

A few months later, 11-year-old twins duped a Minnesota insurance company outta’ a $50K prize when the wrong brother took…and scored…a 90-footer during intermission of a charity hockey game. The kids’ daddy fessed up to the bait-and-switch. What next?...Arnold Schwartzenegger standing-in for Danny DeVito during a whiffle-ball version of Home-Run Derby???!!!

Rinks over links? Good call!...In this morning’s Las Vegas Review-Journal sports section was a nice piece on Judd Blackwater, a kid who’s leading the East Coast Hockey League in scoring, as a member of the Las Vegas Wranglers, after passing up a promising career in golf. Hmmm…let’s see...blasting Titleist golfballs from the blue line past opposing goalies or using a wedge to chip a puck uphill outta’ da’ sand-trap on the 16th Hole?! No-brainer!

Black Shirt: The obsidian undergarment goes to FSU kicker Dustin Hopkins for missing what woulda’ been the game-winning 42-yard FG in the waning seconds, making Vindy look like a genius for calling the outright victory for a Virginia squad getting 17 points!

“Locked in a Box?”: Arkansas brought home the bacon vs. Mississippi State, raising the lock record to 5-7 (.417)

Shoppe Talk: On Vindy’s Thanksgiving table this week…the Spartans (0-7, .000), the Hokies (1-9, .100), the Cowpokes of Okie State (3-8, .272) and some Badger Fricassee (3-7, .300)!

Vindy’s Week 13 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 28-30-1 (.483)
Boston College +14 ½ over MIAMI, Rutgers -3 over UCONN, Tulane +18 over HAWAII, Alabama-Birmingham -6 over FLA ATLANTIC, UTAH STATE -1 ½ over Nevada-Reno

Save some room after the bird and da’ trimmings for a nice big bowl of the latest fruit-flavored offering from Ben & Jerry’s ice cream …Berry Yer Bookie!

Vindy's Picks Week 12-2011

2011-11-16T19:17:00.000-08:00

COLLEGE FOOTBALL TARGETED BY GOP CANDIDATES

SPARTANBURG, South Carolina (Reuters)…Days after botching his Republican debate appearance by recalling just a pair of the three federal agencies he said he would close if elected president, Texas governor Rick Perry, facing-off again here against the other presidential wanna-bes, finally remembered the third…the BCS, amid a flurry of “helpful suggestions”, such “USC” and “TCU”, from his competitors. Trying to deflect the impact the boo-boo, Perry reminded reporters that Barack Obama once noted during the 2008 campaign that he had “now been on thirteen Big Ten campuses…with one or two to go…Nebraska and Notre Dame.” The presidential-hopeful also later laughingly said he would “shutter anything at the federal level involving the state of Oklahoma!”, a reference to the Texas Longhorns’ back-to-back losses to the Sooners and the Cowboys earlier this season. Staffers from one of the opposing camps said they would pay future debate mediators to fire-up Meatloaf’s “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” every time Perry takes the podium!

We’d be more than happy to hit two outta’ of every three and would like to forget Week Eleven’s 8-10-1 and the season’s 82-115-1 (.416). However, coming in at #3 in this week’s Iowa Straw Poll was…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 12 FORECAST
(Now an official consultant to Freddie Mac!)

THURS. NOV. 17
#9 VIRGINIA TECH over North Carolina giving 10 ½: VT 27 UNC 13

UAB over #22 Southern Miss taking 23: Something has to give here. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com has SoMiss covering just one of last seven prior to playing Memphis, while the Blazers, who got their second SU win by edging the Tigers last week, are only 1-5 following that match. UAB is 6-2 ATS on the season, but just 1-3 at home and were trounced by Houston. Still, it’s the biggest line of the year for the Eagles (who beat Rice, Navy and SMU by at least this many) and Blazers have won two straight years…30-17 in’09 and last season’s wild 50-49. Again, we’ll point out the presence of a lot of seniors for Birmingham, and we’ll play the let-down card as USM had seven scoring drives, five of them ending in FGs vs. one of nation’s best scoring-Ds in one-point win over Central Florida …USM 41 UAB 23

FRI. NOV. 18
#2 Oklahoma State over IOWA STATE giving 26 ½: OKSU 48 Cyclones 20

SAT. NOV. 19
#1 Louisiana State over MISSISSIPPI giving 28: Ol’ Mist starting backfield will ride the bench for this one…LSU 48 Mississippi 3

Georgia Southern @ #3 ALABAMA: No line. (FYI…the I-AA Eagles, #3 in last week’s FCS poll, got a vote in this week’s AP rankings!)

#4 OREGON over #18 Southern Cal giving 15: No let-down here as Ducks barely broke a sweat in second-half of huge win over Stanford and Matt Barkley’s no Andrew Luck. In January, Swiss banking giant UBS AG updated its 44-page obnoxious dress code that required, among other things, skin-colored undies and wrist-watches. Vin never was a big fan of tighty-whities, but okay, fine! The Oregon Ducks are a few fashion-designs short of matching the number of uni combos to the number of pages most Division I-A coaches have in their respective playbooks!) … Drakes 41 USC 20

#25 BAYLOR over #5 Oklahoma taking 14 ½: Sooners 37 Bears 31

#6 ARKANSAS over Mississippi State giving 13: Arkansas 31 MSU 7

#7 Clemson over NC STATE giving 7 ½: This wouldn’t be a bad “lock” selection. Tigers have recorded consecutive spread losses the past two games, but both opponents had scoring threats. Wolfpack tagged us with only “best bet” pick that went south in Week Eleven, losing straight-up at Boston College, 14-10, as a small fave. State’s just 3-4-1 ATS on the season (2-0-1 in Raleigh), has scored just 26 total points in last three games and at 5-5 SU, needs to take both of its final games to go bowlin’ since a pair of the outright wins came in September vs. FCS squads. At least ‘Pack can take solace in 13-0 win over rival Tarheels…Clemson 31 NCSU 14

#8 STANFORD over California giving 18 ½: Every first half from Stanford looks like a letdown, but it’s just part of the usual MO before romping through the final thirty minutes…Cardinal 45 Cal 17

#10 Boise State over SAN DIEGO STATE giving 17 ½: Reserves in the defensive backfield hurt the Broncos as much as the missed FG as TCU scored on pass-plays of 74, 75 and 69 yards. Aztecs, 2-6 ATS, haven’t taken advantage of homefield, losing to TCU and…Wyoming???!!…and have just one cover in four home games on the year. Several trends go against SDSU, but Boise is just 1-3 in conference, with only one Mountain Jest victory by the gaudy numbers we’re used to seeing. The defeat by TCU was Boise’s third SU loss in almost four full seasons and fifth in nearly five full years. Broncos did not cover the games immediately following any of the three regular-season losses…Tater-Heads 49 SDSU 24

#11 HOUSTON over Southern Methodist giving 19 ½: Houston 44 SMU 20

Indiana over #12 MICHIGAN STATE taking 28 ½: Spartans have beaten Florida Atlantic and Central Michigan by more than four touchdowns. Michigan is in hot pursuit, but is on the wrong end of the tie-breaker, so a win probably hands State a spot in the inaugural Big Ten title game. Hoosiers have two blowout losses, both on the road and have allowed an average of 48 ppg over last five, while scoring 20 or more in four of those…MSU 37 Indy 17

#13 GEORGIA over Kentucky giving 30: ‘Dawgs need this one to win the SEC East and secure their spot in conference championship so they won’t be lookin ahead to Joja’ Tech. Mildcats, who need to win both remaining games to get post-season eligible, has gotten outta’ the teens only three times and may not get into the teens here given 8-point showing and 30-point loss at Vandy last week. UGA is 6-1 against the line in last seven and should waste little time putting this away…Georgia 44 KY 10

Citadel @ #14 SOUTH CAROLINA: No line.

#15 Wisconsin over ILLINOIS giving 13 ½: Badgers 35 Illini 14

#16 Kansas State over TEXAS taking 9 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. My goodness! What is it gonna’ take for K-State before the linesmakers start feelin’ ‘em???!!! All they do is win! Gotta’ like State’s efficiency vs. A&M. TAMU’s RB Gray went for 218 yards and a lone score. KSU dual-threat QB Collin Klein ran for a buck-three, but hit paydirt five times. We will happily take da’ points here and call again for the outright victory, four overtimes last week or not, over Steers club that, like Auburn, is on the Top 25 yo-yo and lost 17-5 at Mizzou…Purple Persians 23 Longhorns 17

#20 MICHIGAN over #17 Nebraska giving 3 ½: Michigan 24 Nebraska 19

Colorado State over #19 TCU taking 32 ½: Toads 34 CSU 7

#21 Penn State over OHIO STATE taking 6 ½: The good news here might be that the game occurs away from the distractions of State College, PA. Not only do the Lions continue to show why they’re ranked 102nd in scoring offense, they own a kicker who’s season-best came from 40 yards (we heard Alabama and Boise State are lookin’ fer a few good men though!). Clearly, they’re also not good enough on offense to make-up for missed kicks and turnovers. Best call here is “under” the total . Buckeyes could win this, but not by a full touchdown. OSU looked to be building some momentum until OT set-back at Purdue…Alma Mater 16 OSU 13

Virginia over #23 FLORIDA STATE taking 17: UPSET ALERT. ‘Noles off tough 23-19 win over Miami and have five straight victories (4-1 ATS) since back-to-back losses to Georgia Tech and Wake Forest. Cavs also streaking, winning five of last six, including a 3-1 SU road record. A 2011 study, with data from 24 unidentified schools, was published that “suggests students aren’t asked to do much” and that 45% (of 2300 total students) showed no significant improvement in critical thinking, complex reasoning or writing by the end of the sophomore year. Makes those scandalous online music history classes at FSU look almost doctoral-level in comparison, don’t it??!!...Virginia 23 FSU 20

Boston College over #24 NOTRE DAME taking 24 ½: Irish beat two of the military academies in South Bend by more than this, but we think ND is spotting too much here vs. Eagles on 3-1 spread run, and who should have confidence coming in after winning two of last three games outright after dismal 1-6 SU start. Local Sin City resident Nancy Ruettiger starred in a production of “Annie” just outside Las Vegas this summer. We don’t remember ShirleyTemple’s character having ties to the Fightin’ Irish, but when the actress busted out the Notre Dame letterman’s jacket, the crowd went wild, chanting…”Ruuuuty, Ruuuuty, Ruuuuty, Ruuuuty…..!” The acting troupe later carried off the stage on their shoulders!...Leprechauns 28 BC 14

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Given the Rebels’ upset-loss at previously-winless New Mexico, we say, “What happens in Vegas…evidently happens on the road as well!” But…chin up! In May, Drake won its first football game…in Africa…vs. the Mexican All-Stars. Hark! Two more non-conference teams for UNLV’s schedule!

In related news, researchers on the Dark Continent discovered that human foot odor can lure malaria-carrying mosquitoes into traps to be killed. In a charitable gesture, several teams from the NCAA and the NFL will hold summer training camps in third-world countries, using make-shift locker rooms to collect the offensive-but-useful aroma!

Daytime TV waves goodbye this week to icon Regis Philbin. Maybe the loyal Notre Dame alum will head to the Midwest and team-up with the Frightenin’ Irish coach to bring us…”Regis & Brian Kelly”! How does “Touchdown Regis” grab ya???!!!

Forward Brandon Davies has returned to the BYU hoops team after his suspension for an honor code violation (premarital sex). Guess if he’s doesn’t lead the team in scoring, he’ll at least lead the team in “scoring”! Oh well, beats the crap outta’ being suspended for drinking coffee!

Pardon us while we flip through our favorite piece of classic lit…The Count It..and One…of Monte Cristo!

“Locked in a Box?”: Auburn got smoked, lowering the record to 4-7 (.363).

Shoppe Talk: We knew the Hokies (1-8, .111) couldn’t stay away. Challenging for top dishonors… Sparty (0-6, .000). Along for the ride…Joja’ Tech (1-6, .142) and Oklahoma State (3-7, .300).

Vindy’s Week 12 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: 25-28-1 (.472)
Weeziana Tech +7 ½ over NEVADA-RENO, New Mexico State +22 ½ over BYU, Tulane +13 ½ over RICE, Louisville +1 over UCONN, Utah State -9 ½ over IDAHO

Vindy's Picks Week 11-2011

2011-11-09T15:12:00.000-08:00

NCAA TIED TO OLIVE OIL BIZ

NEW YORK, New York (UPI)….”Leave da’ gun. Take da’ cheerleaders?” That might become the running joke after Congressman Bobby Rush likened the NCAA to the mafia last week at a Washington, D.C. college sports forum. Rush, who hails from Illinois, levied charges of shady financial deals by the governing body of college athletics and lambasted the way the group also controls the lives of players. Acting on information provided by a former employee, now in the witness-protection program, congressional investigators turned up documents linking the association to a local olive oil import company. Attorneys for the organization said that NCAA members were simply “legitimate businessmen” and were prepared to offer the Illini “a bowl bid they can’t refuse.”

The ‘books took us “fer a ride” again, allowing just 8-9 for Week 10 (74-105-1, .413). In the third installment of the movie series, while having his son baptized, Michael Corleone renounced Satan, all his works and…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 11 FORECAST
(Pulling you back in every time you think you’re out!)

THURS. NOV. 10
#20 GEORGIA TECH over #10 Virginia Tech taking 1: With both teams getting last week off, look for slow, low-scoring first-half. Hokies not a good bet off a bye and are 1-7 ATS on the season. Bees got back on track with nice victory over Clemson before the break and have beaten four of their last seven ranked opponents. Wreck lost 28-21 last season in Blacksburg and we like the two-score home win over the Tigers more than we like VT’s four-point road win over Duke…GT 19 VT 17

#11 Houston over TULANE giving 34: We looked hard at this one for “lock”. Green Wave has an average pass D, allowing 14 touchdown thru the air while nabbing 11 picks, but haven’t faced anyone close to the new all-time passing yardage leader, Case Keenum, and his Coogs team that shows 37 TDs with just 4 INT. Tulane has won the money in just 5 of its last 17 games overall and while it lost in Houston last season by just 19, Wave has allowed 31 or more to all but one opponent in 2011, including 45 to Army. Coogs much-maligned D contributed a pick-six to last week’s cover…Houston 69 Too Late 24

SAT. NOV. 12
#1 LSU over Western Kentucky giving 41 ½: OK, OK…the “conference sandwich” has been declared unfit for bettor consumption by the health department and has been pulled off the menu. Ya need a little luck to win a championship and the Bengals are now on borrowed time. Tigers are 2-2 ATS off the ‘Bama game the last four seasons and demolished Weeziana-Monroe 51-0 in 2010 in that spot. We predict the Hilltoppers, who’ve been cannon-fodder since joining I-A ball officially in 2008, will beat North Texas and/or Troy and gain their first-ever bowl-eligibility following current five-game SU/ATS streak in the Stun Belt…and this one could end up 37-0 or 48-7, but call it…LSU 49 WKY 3

TEXAS TECH (GASP!) over #2 Oklahoma State taking 17: Cowpokes 44 Red Raiders 31

#3 STANFORD over #6 Oregon giving 3 ½: We were lookin’ for reasons to back the Mallards. A healthy LaMichael James, who went for 4.1 ypc vs. Wazzou and 6+ ypc vs. Washington faces Stanford’s maybe-deceiving 4th-best rushing-yardage defense. Of more importance might be Oregon’s #17 passing-yardage D. We also considered Ducks’ experience against current #1 LSU and the fact that USC took Stanford to triple-OT before falling. Cardinal does a have a nice running game, as well, to augment the air attack and Drakes handed then-#9 Stanford it’s only loss of last season. We think SU gives a few bottom-rung NFL squads, eyeing the Cardinal QB on Draft Day 2012, even more reason to contemplate “Suck-for-Luck”…Stanford 34 Oregon 27

#4 Alabama over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 17: We thank Tide kicking specialists Cade Foster and Jeremy Shelley, who looked more like Jodie Foster and Mary Shelley, for missing four of six FG attempts in ‘Bama’s extra-frame loss to LSU. Bulldogs were ranked to start the year, but faded after suffering a couple of tough defeats to Auburn and LSU and haven’t done squat since then. ‘Bama’s owned this one the last three years, winning (and covering) by 25, 28 and 20. Bengals contained Trent Richardson…enough. State won’t be as fortunate vs. Tide team still having an outside shot to play for a national title…Tide 38 MSU 17

#5 BOISE STATE over Texas Christian giving 15: Don’t be rattled by Boise’s “mere” 27-point win over the Rebels. Have to go back to first-half of the 2004 season to find the last time Broncos dropped three straight to the line. Toads are winning by a couple touchdowns, but were winning by a few more touchdowns last season and while we respect QB Paschall, the absence of Andy Dalton shows. The TCU defense ain’t quite as stalwart as past editions either and we don’t think the Froggies can keep up with the Broncos…Taters 41 Toads 24

#7 Oklahoma: IDLE (next @ Baylor)

#8 ARKANSAS over Tennessee giving 14: Hogs 45 Vols 22

Wake Forest over #9 CLEMSON taking 16 ½: Clemson 29 WF 20

#12 PENN STATE over #19 Nebraska taking 2: Lions have reeled off seven straight wins since loss to ‘Bama, but have made all of ‘em, except the blowout vs. Eastern Michigan, interesting. Huskers, recovering from loss to Northwestern…in Lincoln…despite a plus-one turnover ratio…are 9-2 ATS in last eleven facing the Top 25, but have actually left with the outright victory in just one of last seven. With a dark cloud hanging over not-real-Happy Valley, if State has been sequestering an offense in the locker room all year, now would be a mighty fine time to reveal it, but PSU excels at the “under” and Big Dread has been there in its last three…Alma Mater 16 Corndogs 14

IOWA over #13 Michigan State taking 2 ½: Iowa 16 MSU 13

#24 Auburn over #14 GEORGIA taking 13: UPSET ALERT. LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Tigers, who got the extra week to prepare, have been hammered on the road by Arkansas and LSU, but are 4-2 ATS in the SEC with SU wins over the also-rans. ‘Dawgs beat both Magnolia State schools by two touchdowns, but have much smaller margins-of-victory vs. the rest of the conference teams. UGA has major revenge factor for 2010’s 49-31 spanking, but Joja’ hasn’t beaten either ranked opponent it’s played this year and there’s a reason Auburn keeps popping into the Top 25…War Eagle 23 Bulldogs 21

Florida @ #15 SOUTH CAROLINA: OFF

#16 Wisconsin over MINNESOTA giving 27: Badgers 48 Minny 17

#17 KANSAS STATE over Texas A&M taking 4 ½: K-State 27 A&M 24

Washington over #18 USC taking 12: Troy 27 UDUB 20

MISSOURI over #21 Texas taking 1: ‘Horns clawed their way back into the rankings by thrashing Kansas and Texas Tech (GASP!), both in Austin, and did cover both true road games on the year (UCLA and Iowa State), but the spread supports our opinion that Mizzou is better than its 4-5 SU record, with three road defeats by total of 16 points, including OT loss at Arizona State. Tigers beat outright or lost respectably to three of the four Top 25 teams it played. It’s November, so we’ll give the home dogs a chance to have one bounce their way…Missouri 24 Texas 20

#22 Michigan over ILLINOIS giving 1: Michigan 17 Illinois 10

West Virginia over #23 CINCINNATI taking 3: Cincy 31 ‘Ears 29

#25 SOUTHERN MISS over Central Florida giving 9 ½: Despite 7 returning starters on offense and 4 on the stop-side, UCF has fared well defensively, but not-so-much in the scoring department (five games between 10 and 17 points). Knights have all of three outright wins this year after posting 11 last season, including bowl victory over Joja’…and 10 covers. Eagles tough to figure, with scoring and defending all over the board, but have averaged 34.8 ppg in C-USA play and have good experience on both sides of the ball. SoMiss beat then-#21 UCF in Orlando, by 10 last year. Knights had been nifty road dogs entering 2011, but are 0-2to-date. Eagles have six consecutive covers…and counting…USM 24 UCF 10

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Applying for post-season certification effective the 2012-2013 campaign…the Genco Pura Olive Oil Bowl!

Can’t ya just picture some would-be government-witness coach at a congressional hearing, with his school’s star quarterback firmly seated between a pair of Michael Corleone and Tom Hagen look-alikes, suddenly recanting previous testimony against the family, quipping “I don’t know no ‘Bowlfather’” and “Oh yeah….I said…uh…’da’ NCAA did disssss’ and uh…’da BCS did daaaattt….. but dey was all lies.”

“Keep your teammates close, and your poll voters closer.”

Evidently, NCAA now stands for “Never Cross Antonio Andolini”.

Guess which congressman is about to find the severed head of the SMU mascot under his sheets??!!

LSU CB Tyrann “Honey Badger” Mathieu had to ride the pine for one game earlier this year. Did his teammates call him “Honey Bencher”? If he boiled then quickly submerged asparagus in ice water, would he be the “Honey Blancher”?!

Vindy’s Picks welcomes this week’s start to the college hoops season! Because of the new alignment of the then-10-team MWC, each school will miss a conference foe in the 2012 and 2013 seasons, necessitating the filling of a game slot with a non-conference opponent. We’re told the New Jersey Nets or LA Clippers are available!

Last spring, Bruce Pearl was considered as a possible replacement for departed UNLV basketball coach Lon Kruger. Too bad he wasn’t chosen. We were lookin’ forward to seein’ Bruce paint his chest red and talkin’ Lady Rebels coach Kathy Olivier into donning a cheerleader outfit!

Black Shirt: We have our trusty seamstress putting together a black shirt-built-fer-two as we honor the aforementioned pair of ‘Bama kickers with the coveted tee this week. BTW, we’re thinkin’ Agent Starling woulda’ hit one of the shorter attempts (“Kick pro quo, Clarice. Kick pro quo.”)

“Locked in a Box?”: The Sooeeeeeeeey Pigs get off the schnide with a nice cover vs. the Gamehens, giving the lock tally a badly-needed lift to 4-6 (.400).

Shoppe Talk: Geez, take a number, fellas! Michigan State 0-5 (.000), the WVU Mouseketeers 1-7 (.125), Texas A&M 1-7 in last 8 tries (.125), the Badgers 1-6 in last 7 tries (.142) and the Spooners 1-5 in last 6 tries (.167)

Vindy’s Week 11 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-3 Season: 22-27-1 (.449)
Navy +8 ½ over SMU, NC State -2 ½ over BOSTON COLLEGE, UTAH -7 over Ucla, Wyoming +15 ½ over AIR FORCE

Vindy's Picks Week 10-2011

2011-11-02T19:05:00.000-07:00

TEAM TO STAGE HISTORIC RIDE

FOXBORO, Massachusetts(CNN)…The hometown NFL favorites are having a little fun with Sarah Palin’s January revisionist-history interpretation of a famous event of the American Revolution, which posed the idea that part of Paul Revere’s ride was to inform the Brits already onsite that they had no shot to win. On the eve of the New England-New York football game, the Patriots plan to have a Paul Revere impersonator ride his horse through the visitors’ hotel lobby to do likewise! The rider-in-question is rumored to be Chad Ochocinco, who will reportedly taunt the opponents with a gymnastic dismount of his steed while spiking the football on the bell desk…once if by land, twice if by sea!

We weren’t gonna’ defeat the British (or even the Swiss) with last week’s 9-9 (66-96-1, 407), but we did chalk-up our highest weekly win-total since recording 10 back in Week 5 a month ago! BTW, the only reason Washington braved the winter elements to cross the Delaware was to read…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 10 FORECAST
(Instigating spontaneous “Tebowing” around the globe!)

FRI. NOV. 4
#21 Southern Cal over COLORADO giving 21 ½: Trojans 37 Buffaloes 13

SAT. NOV. 5
#1 Louisiana State over #2 ALABAMA taking 5 ½: “Game of da’ Century?!” Please. We get one of those every year. “Game of the season”??!! We hope so. None of the Tide opponents until now have had the D to neutralize mistakes by the offense or kick-coverage teams that frequently gave Alabama a short-field and we like “under” whatever total gets posted on this Totals have ranged from 39 to 48 in four of the last five years, with a 75-point anomaly in ‘07. The posted total we saw on this was 42, so the books don’t see this getting out-of-hand either. Penn State didn’t play badly on defense, they just had no offense to keep pace with Alabama. LSU won 24-21 in Baton Rouge last season, getting almost a touchdown, and is 1-3-2 ATS the last six in this series. We expect Les Miles to show no fear and break into the bag of trick-plays if he thinks ‘Bama is vulnerable. Key match-up will be Bengals’ run D vs. RB Richardson. The punters will actually earn their money this week and with 12 more kicks, we give the edge to LSU in playing for field position. We definitely like the points and at no extra cost, we call the minor upset…LSU 20 Bama 17

#17 Kansas State over #3 OKLAHOMA STATE taking 20 ½: Cowpokes 38 KSU 27

#4 Stanford over OREGON STATE giving 20 ½: The books seem to like the three-touchdown margin for the Cardinal when facing unranked clubs. Ducks are up next for Stanford, but even if Luck sits after three quarters, the running game still has plenty of pop and Redbirds are high enough in the BCS rankings that style-points might still be important. Bet State in the first half, but watch the Cardinal pile-on after the intermission. The commander-in-chief recently told an audience that the First Lady hails from “a ‘Leave It to the Beavers’ perfect family”. Until now, we’d forgotten all about the presidential connection to the folks in Corvallis…Stanford 49 OSU 20

#5 Boise State over UNLV giving 41 ½: Hats off to UNLV for pulling a win over CSU, despite efforts to let the Rams escape with the victory, but a rested Broncos team (which previously spanked the Rams by fitty) and a presumably-healthier Kellen Moore at QB ain’t exactly gonna’ keep the Mo’ goin’. In January, a local LVRJ contributor compared demotion of former UNLV starting QB Mike Clausen to defense, then eventual suspension to “going from the showroom at Caesar’s to the back lounge at Slots-A-Fun…”. We take exception! The local-fave dive-casino near Circus Circus on the Vegas Strip sells a rockin’ margarita for a bargain price!... Boise 61 Rabbles 13

WASHINGTON over #6 Oregon taking 15 ½: Oregon 41 UDUB 27

Texas A&M over #7 OKLAHOMA taking 13 ½: OK 41 A&M 30

#8 ARKANSAS over #10 South Carolina giving 4 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Props to Poultry’s defense, but without Marcus Lattimore, scoring has been at a premium for SC (54 vs. Kentucky notwithstanding, total of 62 over the other 4 games). Despite near-loss to Vandy following the off-week, we think Pigs have more than enough firepower. Arkansas has won and covered four of the last five vs. the Spicy Nuggets… Razorbacks 27 Carolina 14

Northwestern over #9 NEBRASKA taking 17: Huskers 34 NW 20

#11 Clemson: IDLE (next vs. Wake Forest)

#12 Virginia Tech: IDLE (next @ Georgia Tech 11/10)

#13 Michigan over IOWA giving 4: Scary-small line ‘til we consider we felt the same way about Michigan being a 2 ½ –point dog at Michigan State and paid the price. Hawkeyes have won four of five home games in 2011 (and 21-5 SU in Ames the past three three-plus seasons), including 3-point victory over Pitt and 10-point win over Northwestern, but we thought we had caught the first-half results of a premature start to college hoops when we saw “Minnesota 22 Iowa 21” last week! Iowa defense yielding about 23 ppg, but that’s up again as it has been the last two years as well, and Hawks have scored 31 or more in 6 of 8 thus far. UM just 2-7-1 as road chalk and Iowa won outright in 2009 and 2010. Michigan RB Fitzgerald Toussaint went for 270 yards vs. Purdue. Iowa has a less-than-middlin’ rush D at 164 ypg and 3.9 ypc…Big Blew 34 Iowa 24

#14 Houston over UAB giving 27 ½: Cougars quickly becoming the Boise State of C-USA, but still need to tighten-up the defense. The blowouts won’t mean much this year, but could help land more future BCS-conference opponents in an effort to emulate the Broncos’ success. Houston benefits from a couple extra days to prepare off the Thursday night pasting of Rice behind Keenum’s nine (count ‘em, nine!) scoring throws, but host Tulane just five days after this one. We will disregard UAB’s 39-zippo loss at Florida, but Blazers had reeled-off five consecutive covers until 45-point defeat by Marshall…OUCH! Can’t ignore Tulane’s 39-point victory either…UH 54 Alabama-Birmingham 24

#15 MICHIGAN STATE over Minnesota giving 27 ½: Despite the upset of Iowa last week, we think O-fers, who’ve made a lot of teams healthy this season, revert to form and catch Sparty off a bad defeat at Nebraska, in which Big Dread defense smothered State’s efforts to move the ball. MSU is 4-0 ATS in East Lansing. Minny converted two 4th Downs in as many tries to capture the Floyd of Rosedale pewter porker. That’ll have to suffice until 2012…Michigan State 34 Gerbils 0

#16 Penn State: IDLE (next vs. Nebraska)

New Mexico State over #18 GEORGIA taking 34: The “conference sandwich” concept we offered for the Oklahoma-Ball State game earlier this year didn’t pan out, but hey, as you can tell by our safety helmet (plainly inscribed with “this side up”), we’re ridin’ the forecasters’ short-bus this season and we’ll try it again with Joja’ off hard-fought rally win over Florida…and Auburn on the horizon. Surprisingly-competitive Aggies have covered 6 of 7, though just 1-2 in non-conference games. Bulldogs show a current 3-6 ATS slide vs. non-SEC squads. NMSU’s scored at least 24 every game except September loss to UTEP (in which it managed 10)…Joja’ 31 Aggies 6

Purdue over #19 WISCONSIN taking 25 ½: After two crushing last minute defeats, Badgers will be focused on closing out this game on the right side of the scoreboard, especially after Wisky had just three flags for 9 yards and zero turnovers in loss to Ohio State, but this still might be too many points. Boilers lost by 22 to Michigan but were 15 seconds from losing by 29. Russell Wilson was no effective on the ground, but we don’t know that Purdue can limit his scrambling like the Buckeyes did. Choo-Choos are coin-toss worthy ATS in conference play the last five years, but 3-1 this season…Badgers 39 Purdue 17

#20 Arizona State over UCLA giving 9 ½: ASU 28 Ruins 10

#22 Georgia Tech: IDLE (next vs. Virginia Tech 11/10)

#23 Cincinnati over PITT giving 2 ½: Bearkats playing their first game since entering the rankings, having had last week off. Quarterback Nick Collaros and a bunch of other seniors returned for Cincinnati, who won just four games all of 2010 and are taking advantage of the experience. Panthers should be rested as well, beating UConn on Wednesday. Pitt’s RB Graham, averaging almost 120 yards per game, will need a good game vs. Cincy’s #2 rushing defense, while QB Tino Sunseri tries to match throws with his counterpart. Pitt’s won 17 of 24 Big Least games. Cincinnati’s scoring 41 points per game, getting an average of just two TD passes/game from Collaros. Bearkats veteran defense is playing well…Cincinnati 24 Pitt 19

#24 WEST VIRGINIA over Louisville giving 13 ½: Mouseketeers 31 Da’ Ville 13

#25 Auburn: IDLE (next @ Georgia)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

“The Giants are comin’! The Giants are comin’!”

GOP candidate Herman Cain has been touting his “9-9-9” plan, which has something to do with taxes rather than an innovative defensive alignment, but it’s probably what opposing offenses feel like they’re facing when going against stop-squads from either of this week’s 1-2 match-up!

Donald Trump revealed in May that he washes his hair with Head & Shoulders. He later announced he would not, in fact, run for president in 2012. Bummer! We were seriously lookin’ forward to televised debates between Joe Biden and Vice Presidential candidate Troy Polamalu! With an exchange going something like….Polamalu: “You were admiring my running mate’s hair, weren’t you???!!!” Biden: “No.” Polamalu: “Weren’t you??” Biden: “yes.”

A soccer team tendered an offer to a seven-year-old earlier this year. In July, a woman in Longview, Texas gave birth to a 16-lbs.,1-oz baby boy. Said-infant has already received football scholarship offers from the Longhorns, Aggies, Bears, Horned Frogs and Red Raiders!

Congrats to Joe Paterno for notching his record-setting 409th victory over the Halloween weekend. BTW, Nevada joined the union on October 31, 1864…the same year JoePa got his first win as a head coach.

A couple weeks back, we foreshadowed an extended period of daily football and noted it was a total of 33 days. It was actually 23 days. Obviously, we got so excited at that prospect, we tripped over the abacus and landed squarely on our Texas Instrument!

“Locked in a Box?”: Bees burned us for second time on the season in a “lock” game, beating Clemson outright and dropping the tally again to 3-6 (.333).

Shoppe Talk: The Cowpokes, Buckeyes and Hokies all get a weekend pass (but nothing more) after being on the right side last week, but Arkansas falls to 1-6 (.142), along with the Mousey Ears of West Virginia (1-6, .142) and the Ramblin’ Wreckage of Joja’ Tech (1-5, .167). If you’re wondering at home if any squads are actually treating your host kindly amidst the carnage of the 2011 campaign, we offer…the Oregon Ducks (5-1, .833) and the Florida Gators (6-2, .750).

Vindy’s Week 10 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-4 Season: 20-24-1 (.454)
Duke +15 ½ over MIAMI, Washington State +9 ½ over CAL, Weeziana Tech +3 ½ over FRESNO STATE, Arkansas State -17 over FLORIDA ATLANTIC, TENNESSEE-Middle Tennessee State “over” 54 ½

Vindy's Picks Week 9-2011

2011-10-27T18:03:00.000-07:00

STADIUM BESET BY ANGRY BETTORS

COLUMBUS, Ohio (CNN)…As protesters across the country confronted police, raging against government bailouts and tax breaks that helped only the nation’s elite few, the Vegas Vindicator, too, had had enough. The renowned college football prophet, frustrated with mounting forecast losses, especially courtesy of the Buckeyes, rallied protesters from their original location in a vacant lot across from UNLV’s Thomas & Mack Center (all 20 of ‘em) and travelled to the Ohio State campus in a movement dubbed by the Weber Kid as “Occupy Da’ ‘Shoe”! Expressing disappointment with ongoing scandals at the school and displeasure with the inconsistent play of the football team, currently at 3-2 against the spread, Vindicator, who is suffering from a current 4-13-1 forecast record picking OSU games, confused the nationwide slogan with an old adage and ended up waving a sign reading, “We are the whole 99 yards!”

Halloween looms (“Loomis”? [Fans of the movie series will get that reference!]), but with the picks at 30 games below .500 (5-13 last week, 57-87-1, .396 on the season) and sinkin’ like stock in Netflix, Jason, Freddy, Michael and Jigsaw got nuthin’ on…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 9 FORECAST
(“Oh, yes…there will be blood”)

THURS. OCT. 27
#18 HOUSTON over Rice giving 27: “Wish I Had It Back” written all over this, but Owls, who’ve (“Hooooo’ve?”) covered five of last six vs. cross-town rival Coogs (including outright wins in 2008 and 2010), lost by 25 at Baylor and 25 at Texas earlier this season. Rice’s last trip to Robertson Stadium however resulted in a 73-14 pounding. Cougars are holding I-A opponents to about 22 ppg, and Rice lights the board for mid-twenties on average, meaning UH will need to probably break into the fifties to cover. Houston has ventured past the half-century mark in three of its last four matches and just missed on the other one. Barnyard Birds have yielded 50 just once (at Baylor) and have gone “under” the total (mid-to-high fifties) in 5 of 7 games, but haven’t faced this prolific an offense. If now-NCAA total offense record-holder Case Keenum stays healthy, we see little reason why Houston won’t cover this. Cougars blasted Marshall 63-28 for Homecoming and our only concern, despite a 3-0 home ATS record so far and a lot of seniors at the skill positions, is a slow start here on the short week after expending that kind of energy, especially with a defense prone to giving up big points to lower conference opponents…Houston 54Rice 26

SAT. OCT. 29

#1 LSU: IDLE (next @ Alabama)

#2 Alabama: IDLE (next vs. LSU)

#3 OKLAHOMA STATE over Baylor giving 14: OKSU 48 Bares 27

#4 Stanford over #20 USC giving 7 ½: Men of Troy getting little press despite 6-1 straight-up record (4-3 ATS). Cardinal, however, despite nothing remarkable about its slate either (though layin’ 65 on then-ranked Huskies got a few looks), has been unstoppable and a weekly liability to the ‘books. The difference between the two clubs is the average margin-of-victory. USC’s win over the Frightenin’ Irish lends some credibility, but Trojans are getting points at home for only the second time in two seasons (and second time since the beginning of 2002)…Redbirds 37 Trojans 20

#5 Boise State: IDLE (next @ UNLV)

#6 Clemson over GEORGIA TECH giving 3 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. At 7-0 against the line, Tigers are also sportsbook-bane and given that the secret is out…Tevon Washington is the weakest link for the ‘Jackets, make him throw the ball…the short spread is a bit curious. Tech turned it over six times in the past two weeks, both SU losses, including three INT by Washington. Bees have revenge angle for last year’s 27-13 defeat and Tigers traditionally are fitty-fitty propositions on the road, but Clemson has beaten three Top 25 foes, two of ‘em away. Before 2010, the previous two years were decided by 3 and 4. Did Tech burn the game film that would’ve gone to Clemson or just swap it out with the “Bee Movie”???... Tigers 31 GT 23

Washington State over #7 OREGON taking 35: Oregon cornerback Cliff Harris will grab some pine… again…for involvement in a traffic incident… AGAIN! He was caught recently driving with a suspended license and no insurance (editor’s note: that and a tat at a discount gets him a starting position with the Buckeyes this week. We’re just sayin’….) after being busted in June doin’ 118 mph with an expired license to-boot! The Mallards defender told local gendarmes he was merely trying to improve his time in the forty! QB Darron Thomas was reportedly asleep in the passenger side. Okay, Vindicator’s a light sleeper, but if we’re ridin’ shotgun in a vehicle exceedin’ the century mark, 1) we ain’t grabbin’ a power nap! and 2) there damn well better be an emergency crew wherever the car stops, with the jaws-of-life to pry Vindy’s fingers outta’ the visor and his toes outta’ the CD player/tape deck and glove-box, respectively!...Ducks 61 Wazzou 29

#8 Arkansas over VANDERBILT giving 10: Much respect to the ‘Dores and their 4-1 SU record at home under first year coach Franklin, but we think the off-week hampered Hogs on both sides of the ball in first half at Old Missed, who jumped out 17-0 before Pigs reeled-off 29 unanswered points. Arkansas shows a 14-4 TD-to-INT ratio, while Vandy’s D is very-respectable 21st nationally with 10-to-15 TD allowed-to-INT ratio (including 3 returned for scores). Admirals defend the run reasonably well too, at about 133 ypg and just 5 rushing scores-against. More of a vote for Arkansas’ offense than against Vanderbilt in general (though Commodores show total of 3 points against the two previous ranked teams they’ve played)…Razorbacks 34 Vandy 17

#9 Michigan State over #13 NEBRASKA taking 4: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. Yeah, Big Dread walloped lame-duck Minnesota (as we predicted) and yeah, Sparty got some divine intervention to edge Wisconsin with the fortunate carom that turned into a 44-yard score as the clock ran out, but we’re more inspired to back State, who’s now 3-0 SU/ATS in the conference against three teams expected to contend than to support Nebraska squad still feeling its way around the new digs a bit and whose vaunted ground game goes toe-to-toe with nation’s #8 team vs. the rush (less than 89 ypg allowed). State’s 5-1 ATS overall, while Huskers are 0-3 ATS in Lincoln (though all three were double-digit lines)…MSU 24 Cornholio 23

#10 KANSAS STATE over #11 Oklahoma taking 13 ½: Spooners 34 KSU 28

OHIO STATE over #12 Wisconsin taking 7: In the preseason, this had the earmarks of maybe being for all the conference marbles, if not more. But the game has since lost some luster. The line speaks volumes to perhaps an over-rated Wisconsin squad and a Buckeyes team, which, while still slogging a bit on offense, has the D to win this outright in light of 2-1 SU record over last three games (and Nebraska was fortunate to rally). Badgers won by three touchdowns last year. Bucks had the extra week to strategize while Wisky was failing to execute in the shadow of its own goalposts enough to lose to Michigan State, yielding a safety and a blocked punt kicking from the EZ. State’s only bad loss came at Miami…Wisky 24 OSU 19

TENNESSEE over #14 South Carolina taking 3 ½: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. And if not, Gamehens still have three wins over Georgia, Navy and Mississippi State by total of 8 points...Vols 19 Poultry 16

DUKE over #15 Virginia Tech taking 15: Hokies 24 Blue Devils 13

#16 TEXAS A&M over Missouri giving 11: A&M 34 Mizzou 20

#17 MICHIGAN over Purdue giving 13 ½: After being a non-factor in the early part of the year, Purdue lost almost all statistical categories but kept Illinois off the board until mid-4th quarter to grab its second SU win and third straight cover in last three weeks. None of the teams in question however had the kind of offense that Michigan possesses and with the extra week to stew about loss to “Little Brother”, we think Big Blue, 5-2 against the number, will crank it up to the delight of the Homecoming crowd in Ann Arbor. As an added bonus, the Wolverine band will strike up “Hail to the Victor Frankensteins”…Big Blew 38 Boilermakers 19

#19 TEXAS TECH (GASP!) over Iowa State giving 15: Red Raiders 47 Dust Devils 27

Illinois over #21 PENN STATE taking 4 ½: Lions own Big Tent-Peg’s longest ongoing SU dubya run at six (And counting? We thank fellow-prophet David Whitney for that tidbit. Check out his picks at dpdsdogs.com!). The alma mater, sitting atop the Leaders Division, also leans 6-1 to the “under”. This summer, JoePa conceded he violated an NCAA rule when, while ambling across campus, he stopped to observe a voluntary work-out then reported back to assistant coaches that a specific player “looked good”. Upon further review, Paterno couldn’t remember the name of the player-in-question and simply referred to him as “that kid in the blue jersey”…and why Coach was strolling thru the grounds at Rice in Houston at the time is still unknown! The feisty icon can become the winningest D-1 coach with a victory....PSU 17 Illinois 13

#22 Georgia over Florida giving 3 (@ Jacksonville, FL) : Joja’ 20 Gators 16

Colorado over #23 ARIZONA STATE taking 30 ½: Pitchforks 37 Bison 10

#24 Cincinnati: IDLE (next @ Pittsburgh)

RUTGERS over #25 West Virginia taking 7: Rutgers yielded rights to name its stadium to NJ-based High Point Solutions, Inc. of Sparta, which assists other Fortune 500 businesses with IT needs. They coulda’ just called it Sparta Stadium, but now its High Point Solutions Stadium. Maybe the team moniker should be Gladiators and they should hire Russell Crowe as the mascot! WVU has been an enigma from week-to-week at 3-3 ATS and just 2-6 last 8 laying points away from Morgantown. We’ve been on the Knights much of the year. We’ll stay there this week too…Mounted Ears 23 Jerseylicious! 20

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, Vindicator told reporters he planned to use Twitter, Facebook and other social-networking media to implore supporters to take up the cause on his behalf at Lane Stadium in Blacksburg, Virginia, where his picks have flopped to 0-7 at the hands of the Virginia Tech Hokies!

Meanwhile, back in NYC, groups such as PETA, The Humane Society, World Wildlife Federation and ASPCA are gathering to demonstrate against the use of squid and related species as restaurant fare in an effort publicized as “Octopi Wall Street”!

During Harris’ stop, the trooper smelled marijuana. The players said they didn’t smoke it. Was Snoop Dogg in the trunk or what???!!!

Running all Halloween weekend on SyFy, a marathon about haunted running games called… “Tailbacks from the Darkside”.

For the “Rocky Horror” fans out there….Vindy’s abode is really just “some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos”.

On the big screen...Children of the Corn meets famously-bad ballplayer, Bob Uecker in “He Who Walks Behind the Front Rowwwwww”

A proposed merger of the Mountain West, Big Least and Conference USA?! Welcome to the “U.S. Mountain East Conference”? Or maybe the “Trans-America Conference” . Throw in University of Puerto Rico and University of Manitoba and call it the Big Continent! Or just get it over with by adding Cape Horn State and making it the “Magellan Conference”!!!

Unable to fork over the moolah to cover the sizable fine he incurred for previous drug and money-laundering charges, Edward Rife, the tattoo parlor owner at the center of Ohio State’s demise, now gets to spend some time in the pokey. We’re thinkin’ he could do enough body-art on the inside to raise the $10K he needs…in cigarettes!

In the “Things that make ya go ‘WTH?????!!!!’” category this week, we question the need for the Saints 62-7 annihilation of the Colts. Ain’t no style-points required in the BCS-less NFL.

The UNLV School of Medicine boasts a plastic surgeon named Dr. Zamboni! Apparently, face-offs aren’t a problem!!!!

While there are still a few innings left in the World Series, we’re boning-up on our Henry Wadsworth poetry because we heard… “Chicks dig the Longfellow!”

Takin’ a few liberties with a “Pet Sematary” quote from Fred Gwynne (previously of Herman Munster fame), we say, “Sometahms..deadball fouls ah bettah.”

“Locked in a Box?”: Illini fell outright to Purdue, leaving our lock record at 3-5 (.375)

Shoppe Talk: Hokies fall to 0-7 (.000) with Ohio State on this week’s docket again, still at 0-5 (.000). Oklahoma State continues to torment us at 1-6 (.142). Joining the fray, the Sooooeeeey Pig-Pig-Pigs of Arkansas at 1-5 (.167)

Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3-1 Season: 19-20-1 (.487)
Alabama-Birmingham +6 over MARSHALL, Wake Forest +7 over NORTH CAROLINA, MARYLAND -7 over Boston College, Memphis +28 ½ over CENTRAL FLORIDA, Western Kentucky +6 over UL-MONROE

Vindy's Picks Week 9 Thursday Nighter

2011-10-26T17:28:00.000-07:00

THURS. OCT. 27
#18 HOUSTON over Rice giving 27: “Wish I Had It Back” written all over this, but Owls, who’ve (“Hooooo’ve?”) covered five of last six vs. cross-town rival Coogs (including outright wins in 2008 and 2010), lost by 25 at Baylor and 25 at Texas earlier this season. Rice’s last trip to Robertson Stadium, however, resulted in a 73-14 pounding. Cougars are holding I-A opponents to about 22 ppg, and Rice lights the board for mid-twenties on average, meaning UH will need to probably break into the fifties to cover. Houston has ventured past the half-century mark in three of its last four matches and just missed on the other one. Barnyard Birds have yielded 50 just once (at Baylor) and have gone “under” the total (mid-to-high fifties) in 5 of 7 games, but haven’t faced this prolific an offense. If now-NCAA total offense record-holder Case Keenum stays healthy, we see little reason why Houston won’t cover this. Cougars blasted Marshall 63-28 for Homecoming and our only concern, despite a 3-0 home ATS record so far and a lot of seniors at the skill positions, is a slow start here on the short week after expending that kind of energy, especially with a defense prone to giving up big points to lower conference opponents…Houston 54 Rice 26

We'll back Thursday night with the rest of the forecast in its entirety. Don't touch that dial!

Vindy's Picks Week 8-2011

2011-10-19T17:52:00.000-07:00

IMPENDING “END OF DAYS” FORCES EARLY TITLE GAME

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (UPI)…Bowl officials are scrambling to print and distribute tickets as well as ensure all necessary preparations are made for this Friday’s BCS National Championship game between #1 LSU and #2 Alabama in light of Harold Camping’s revised prediction of October 21st for the Rapture. The Oakland-based man-of-the-cloth missed the mark on his original call last May. Expecting the disappearance of the faithful and subsequent consumption of those left behind by fire and earthquakes, the BCS had no choice but to schedule and play its title match earlier than the usual January timeframe. The Tide and Tigers, originally slated to meet in two weeks, were benefactors of the season’s first (and presumably only) BCS poll, published just a few days ago, and will square-off in what will effectively decide the SEC West and the conference title in addition to the national crown. Rule changes were quickly approved and enacted for the game, including protection against penalties for “too many dead-men on the field” should zombies rise up from under the hashmarks while the game is in progress.

It’s seasons like this one (6-11 last week, 52-74-1, .413 year –to-date) that make us wonder why we bother. Not sure what the Rapture holds for Vindy himself, but certain to end up as a burning hulk is…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 8 FORECAST(More flammable than the giant lint-balls in those Farmers Insurance commercials)

FRI. OCT. 21
#11 West Virginia over SYRACUSE giving 13 ½: West Virginia 31 L’Orange 14

SAT. OCT. 22
#19 Auburn over #1 LSU taking 22 ½: Bengals moving the ball better under Jarrett Lee and swept a trio of SEC East wannabes. They now target the War Eagles, to whom they lost 24-17 in 2010. We figure LSU won’t turn it over five times like the Gators did, but we like defensive-minded Auburn to stay within the generous number. Owning the top spot in the BCS Poll and having plenty of schedule strength, State won’t need style-points, they’ll just need to stay healthy for showdown with the Tide in a few weeks…LSU 24 Auburn 13

#2 ALABAMA over Tennessee giving 29: Tide 38 Vols 6

Texas Tech over #3 OKLAHOMA taking 28 ½: Oklahoma 52 Tech 27

#4 Wisconsin over #15 MICHIGAN STATE giving 8: Badgers weren’t even at full-strength on offense while pummeling Indiana. Spartans neutralized Denard Robinson for Michigan, which has little behind him, but Russell Wilson and Montee Ball will keep the Spartans guessing on defense all day. Wisky has few, if any, opportunities after this one to beat down a quality opponent for the computer rankings, so they’ll need to make this one count. State’s gone 19-7 SU in last 26 Big Ten games, but Badgers’ smallest margin-of-victory this year is 31 points… Wisconsin 27 MSU 10

Air Force over #5 BOISE STATE taking 31: Best guess for “wish I had it back” pick of the week, but we’ll revisit our logic for correct earlier-season selection of Navy plus da’ points over South Carolina…namely, nobody on the Broncos squad has faced the Air Force version of the option. And while the Flight Platoon throws the ball more than Army or Navy (which ain’t sayin’ much), they would be best off keeping the ball on the ground to grind it out and keep Kellen Moore near the Gatorade bucket as much as possible. Our concerns include the minus-six turnover ratio and USAF defense that’s given up 100 points the past two weeks. Boise has yielded total of 87 all season. We’re hopin’ the Pilots’ bye last week allowed them to regroup…Boise 44 Paper Airplanes 17

MISSOURI over #6 Oklahoma State taking 6 ½: UPSET ALERT. Given undefeated Cowpokes have just one victory by less than double-digits, we attribute the line to State’s ongoing defensive woes (though Texas went scoreless for final 11-plus minutes last week despite a nearly 2-1 ratio in TOP overall) and Mizzou’s defensive prowess. Tigers lost at Oklahoma by 10, have covered two of the three Big Twelve games on the season and probably should’ve beaten K-State. Missouri has spread wins in just three of last dozen vs. ranked teams. OKSU is nifty 11-0 as road chalk off consecutive wins, but won’t face a first-time starter at quarterback in this one… Cowboys 27 Mizzou 24

#22 Washington over #7 STANFORD taking 20 ½: Sled Dogs have quietly made their way into the rankings, obscured by accomplishments of the Cardinal and the Ducks. UDUB posting over 400 yards total offense per game and have covered 10 straight, going back to last season. Stanford, 6-0 ATS, has shown tendency to sleepwalk thru the first half (Colorado game notwithstanding) before perking up in the final 30 minutes. Huskies have lotsa’ depth and revenge for last season’s 41-0 embarrassment. Stanford silenced Wazzou’s potent attack. Only Arizona got fewer points of handicap than UDUB… Redbirds 39 Washington 24

#8 CLEMSON over North Carolina giving 10 ½: Tigers 24 Tarheels 10

COLORADO over #9 Oregon taking 32: Even minus LaMichael James, Mallards still averaged better than 7 yards per carry and just missed covering vs. ASU. Both James and starting QB Thomas could be out, but Bison are injury-depleted too. Buffs, who were not given a bye in their inaugural 12-PAC year, are 2-5 ATS, with all defeats in regulation leading to the spread losses. We’re wondering if altitude will be an issue. During the off-season, the Ducks apparently paid for old recruiting information. Cool! They can feed the data by punch-card into their Wang computers! We heard coaches are looking into some kid named Red Grange and that they’re replacing the digital scoreboard in Autzen Stadium with an abacus!...Quack Attack 44 Colorado 17

#10 Arkansas over MISSISSIPPI giving 16 ½: Arkansas 34 Old Mist 13

KANSAS over #12 Kansas State taking 11 ½: KSU 24 Jayhawks 17

#13 Nebraska over MINNESOTA giving 24 ½: We considered the Gerbils and the points for a fleeting moment, but after opening its debut season in the new conference 0-2 against the line and almost 0-2 straight-up, Big Dread needs a statement game to show some oomph and that it can be a contender in the Big Tenuous Conference. O-fers have seemingly waved the white flag, getting ripped 45-17 by less-than-impressive Purdue team before last week’s bye. Corncobs were idle last week too and are a solid bet with rest. Minny, by contrast, is not…Huskers 38 Fish-in-a-Barrel 7

#14 South Carolina: IDLE (next @ Tennessee)

#16 VIRGINIA TECH over Boston College giving 21: Like it matters which side we take here??!! Beagles are 0-5 ATS despite being somewhat competitive in their games and the linesmakers will catch up eventually, but the offense continues to stumble, averaging 19.5 ppg, factoring in 45 points in lone SU win against I-AA UMass, and just 14+ ppg without them. BC’s scoring problems date back to early last year and the stellar defense that allowed them to win their final five tilts in 2010 is no longer present as a safety net…VT 31 BC 6

#17 Texas A&M over IOWA STATE giving 20 ½: Aggies 45 ‘Clones 20

#18 Michigan: IDLE (next vs. Purdue)

#20 Georgia Tech over MIAMI taking 2 ½: Tech 23 Miami 20

Marshall over #21 HOUSTON taking 22: Coogs are undefeated in six games behind country’s best air game, but just 3-2 ATS due to a traditionally-shaky defense. Most recent meeting resulted in a 37-23 upset win by Marshall in 2007. Herd has at least shown up to play, winning three games by six or less and losing respectably to a pair of Top 25 squads (West Virginia and Virginia Tech). The offense has new faces, but nine returning starters on the stop-squad have kept Marshall in all but one game to-date and Herd has a 5-2 spread record, with three road covers. Houston slipped past Weeziana Tech and UTEP (both on the road though)…Houston 41 Marshall 24

#23 Illinois over PURDUE giving 4 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Money’s been coming in on Purdue, but seriously….what have the Boilermakers done to warrant this small of a line? They bombed a Minnesota team that has seemingly given up (as we noted above), but who hasn’t? They stayed within 5 points of the Nitwit Lions. Again we ask…who hasn’t??!! The Choo-Choos opened the season by edging Sun Belt’s Middle Tennessee, then lost at Rice. Fifth home game in seven outings for Purdue, which got smacked in Champaign last season 44-10. Granted, three of the Illini victories have been by a FG and UI just 4-10 SU in last 14 away games, but…Illini 20 Purdue 10

#24 Arizona State: IDLE (next vs. Colorado)

#25 Georgia: IDLE (next vs. Florida)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

If a player committing a penalty suddenly sheds his Earthly coil and goes to the Rapture, the flag will be picked up and time put back on the clock. Maybe Deborah Harry can play the halftime show! If the game is called because of the cataclysmic event, it’s considered “no action” and any remaining bettors will be refunded their wagers!

We’re no New Testament aficionado, but apparently Matthew 24:15-22 reads, “…Neither let him which is in the field return back to take his clothes.” Nice! We call dibs on all the game-worn jerseys that will be strewn across the gridiron after the fact!

If da’ picks go up in a blazing inferno, maybe they’ll be rescued by OJ Simpson (Oh wait…that was “Towering Inferno”!). If the flame-retardant glove don’t fit…!

On the boob tube this season…the ongoing effects of a computer malfunction that inadvertently leads to an invite for New Mexico to the Fiesta Bowl, while Oklahoma gets relegated to the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl in ABC’s “Switched at BCS Berth”.

“Like a good neighhhhhhhbor….State Farm is there…with a winning ten-team parlay!”

The win over UNLV two weeks ago means it’s been 7 straight years that UNR has had the Fremont Cannon, which is now legally-recognized in several states as Reno’s common-law spouse! And in the event of a divorce or dissolution of the relationship, the replica pre-Civil War relic cannon receives half the Wolfpack team…and supervised visitation rights with the remaining players every other weekend…at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch! In fact, based on the 37-0 final score, apparently the Rebels’ only method of traversing the field was to be shot out of said-weapon.

This week, Jim Tressel will get to act in his official capacity as the Colts’ “gameday consultant”, making decisions about video-replay challenges, after completing his suspension by the NFL. To ensure he didn’t practice with the team, league officials took away his Blockbuster card, his access to NetFlix and issued a restraining order preventing him from being within 500-feet of a Red Box!

Tuesday’s GOP debate between Mitt Romney and Rick Perry got a little heated. Apparently, Perry shook Romney’s hand a bit aggressively after the event ended, then jumped off stage, celebrating the victory with his constituents, annoying his opponent, who chased down the Texas governor and the two had to be quickly separated by supporters from both sides!

BTW, sources close to Jim Schwartz said the Lions coach was actually upset because Coach Harbaugh “punked him with a joy-buzzer!”

In April, a robot with one arm and a trio of wheels, created by folks at Penn, threw out the first pitch at a Phillies-Brewers game. The ‘bot later returned to the mound to strike out the side in the 9th inning and preserve the win for the home team!

Gridiron fans rejoice! It’s that time of the season in which there will be at least one pro or college football game played every day from Thursday, October 20 thru November 12! If yer scoring at home, that’s 33 straight days!

How Hilary Duff really told hubby and NHL star Mike Comrie recently that she’s pregnant: 1) “Honey…my doctor says you ‘lit the lamp’.” 2) “Yo Mike…ya parked one between the pipes!” 3) “Dear…there’s a ‘biscuit in the basket’.” 4) She peed on his hockey stick and the blade turned blue!

“Locked in a Box?”: !*!@%$!!! Wolverines got whacked again by the Spartans to post our third straight “lock” miss and lower the tally to 3-4 (.428)
Shoppe Talk: Vindicator is now a collective 0-fer-11 picking games for Virginia Tech (0-6, .000) and Ohio State (0-5, .000). Not far behind in the misery are the Cowboys of Okie State (1-5, .167).

Vindy’s Week 8 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-4 Season: 18-17 (.514)
UAB +16 over Central Florida (Thurs), Rutgers +2 over LOUISVILLE (Fri), Temple -13 over BOWLING GREEN, Wake Forest -3 over DUKE, NORTHWESTERN +4 over Penn State (Oh the shame!)

Vindy's Picks Week 7-2011

2011-10-12T13:53:00.000-07:00

LITTLE-USED NFL RULE BOON FOR RETAILERS

WAYNE, New Jersey (AP)…Forget this year’s hottest “gotta-have-it” kiddie items, such as Monster High dolls. Retailers such as the local Toys-R-Us conglomerate, KB and FAO Schwarz recently got an unexpected windfall recently-revisited “cadence rule”. Violators on defense get penalized for mimicking offensive cadences in order to create confusion, but teams are implementing counter-measures, just in case. The strategy involves disguising the signal-calling on each offensive possession to resemble voices by everyone from John Wayne to Beavis and Butthead to Elvis to keep defenders guessing. It will likely take time to get used to the equipment as teams report problems with uncontrollable laughter by linemen, leading to false-starts during practice. Said one anonymous QB employing sound-effects of a well-known Star Wars villain, “the hardest part of the whole ‘Darth Vader’ thing is that the mask interferes with downfield vision. And it ain’t easy handlin’ snaps cleanly while brandishing a light-saber!”

It was a betting-public’s fantasy and a sportsbook’s nightmare in Week 6 as the chalk went wild, covering 15 of the 21 of the games involving ranked teams. Meanwhile, the length of Vindy’s success from Week 6 was shorter than a Venus Williams skirt! In light of our 7-13 Week Six debacle (46-63-1, 422), we’ve been practicing a silent snap count all week for use on our own homefield so the bookies can’t copy the oral tendencies and use them to disrupt…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 7 FORECAST
(Brought to you by Old Spice [trying to smell better than Vindy himself!])

SAT. OCT. 15
#1 Louisiana State over TENNESSEE giving 15 ½: Fans may remember the flag on the Vols for too many men that lost ‘em the game after Tennessee had successfully managed a goal-line stand. UT is young on offense and will be without QB Tyler Bray. We saw what LSU did to Florida’s back-up and Les Miles continues to pull out the trick-plays, even if his Aussie punter cost the Bengals four points vs. the Gators. Alternating 4th Down (Under) kicking duties this week for State…Crocodile Dundee and Hugh Jackman! No worries, Mate!...LSU 31 Rocky Top 14

#2 Alabama over MISSISSIPPI giving 25: Tide 31 Ole Missed 3

#3 Oklahoma over KANSAS giving 35: Oklahoma 54 Jaywalks 13

Indiana over #4 WISCONSIN taking 39 ½: We agonized over this pick. It’s Homecoming in Madison and the Varmints are one of the five teams from the Big Tenement Conference among the top eight nationally in scoring- defense. They were off last week and will visit currently-ranked Michigan State next. The Hosers lost by 3 in ’09, while losing by 35, 31 and 35 in the three years prior, but will remember the ungodly 83 that Wisky hung on ‘em last season. We know about penalties for excessive celebration. Can ya be flagged for excessive scoring???!!!... Badgers 54 Indiana 17

#5 Boise State over COLORADO STATE giving 32: Broncos 45 CSU 9

#22 TEXAS over #6 Oklahoma State taking 7 ½: OKSU 33 Steers 27

WASHINGTON STATE over #7 Stanford taking 21: Stanford 44 Wazzou 27

MARYLAND over #8 Clemson taking 7 ½: Clemson starting QB Tajh Boyd was hurt in win against Boston College. Including last season’s 31-7 win by the Tigers, the last six years have seen the tilts split 3-3 SU/ATS, and 4 of the 6 were decided by 4 points or less. Terps are off tough “L” to Joja’ Tech, but held their own on the ground, running for 6 yards per tote. Tigers are perfect 5-0 against the line, with four “overs”…Clemson 24 Box Turtles 21

#18 Arizona State over #9 OREGON taking 16: Another one we waffled on. Ducks struggled early off the bye and LaMichael James, obviously a key to the Mallards’ potent ground attack, was lost to injury in the Cal game, while Sun Devils benefitted from five Utah miscues. Mallards lost outright and ATS to only ranked team they’ve faced thus far. Oregon is decent, but not invincible 11-7 ATS at home, but last game in Autzen that was this close was late November of 2009 vs. Oregon State. Sun Devils are 5-2-1 in last 8 away games. If the Ducks are going to be vulnerable, now is the time. Gotta’ wonder if recruits, when they get a glimpse of all the uniform designs in Eugene, think they’ve signed up to play football or just jockey a steed in the Kentucky Derby!!!...Drakes 30 ASU 20

#10 Arkansas: IDLE (next @ Mississippi)

#11 Michigan over #23 Michigan State taking 3: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. This line is either 1) an overreaction to Denard Robinson’s sloppiness that put Michigan behind big vs. Northwestern or 2) based on recent history that’s seen State as the victor three straight years in this series. Those three wins were while the Wolverines were under RichRod not Brady Hoke and Sparty’s best win this year was 10-7 over punchless Ohio State…Big Blue 38 Little Brother 27

#12 Georgia Tech over VIRGINIA giving 7 ½: Second choice for lock. Cavs have 10 starters back on defense and have played like it, especially against the run, allowing just 116 ypg, but are 0-4 against the line after dodging Idaho 21-20. Virginia’s only other wins were by 3 over Indy and a trouncing of I-AA William & Mary. (And not to give the appearance of favoritism, the Cavs have scheduled William and Kate for the 2013 opener!). ‘Jackets can be had on defense, taking an 18-point lead into the final period then hanging on against Maryland, but…Bees 34 Virginia 17

#13 West Virginia: IDLE (next @ Syracuse 10/21)

#14 Nebraska: IDLE (next @ Minnesota)

#15 South Carolina over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 3: Gamehens turned three of Kentucky’s six-pack of turnovers into 17 points on the way to routing the Wildcats, but SC may have found itself a quarterback in Connor Shaw. Mississippi State has logged five straight spread losses, with defeats by 7 at Auburn, 14 at Joja’ and 13 to LSU, while posting three wins over nobody special (three non-BCS squads). Poultry hits the road for three consecutive weeks after a nice home-stand…Original Recipe 23 MSU 14

#16 ILLINOIS over Ohio State giving 4: Illini 20 OSU 13

#17 Kansas State over TEXAS TECH (GASP!) taking 3: Can we get a witness???!!! Vindy finally reeled in another forecast win with the Red Raiders (see our Black Shirt segment below!). ‘Cats were efficient in win over Mizzou, grabbing 24 points on just 286 total yards offense and one TO by the Tigers. Tech isn’t playing any defense. Even if ‘Cats falter, this has been nice preview of 2012 for K-State, who’s being led by a redshirt Freshman and a sophomore in the backfield, but unlike the linesmakers, we’ll bite on the Houdini act and call it…KSU 31 Guns Up 27

WAKE FOREST over #19 Virginia Tech taking 7: While not completely discounting the five turnovers and 13 yellow hankies by the Seminoles (and Tech won’t field a freshman or rusty starter at QB), we still note the Deacons now have more SU wins to-date (4) than all of last year (3) and the only defeat came in extra frames at Syracuse to open the season. Just can’t trust the Hokies, who let a two-touchdown advantage dissolve as Miami racked up over 500 yards offense in narrow loss. We’re hesitant to call the second-straight upset for The Forest (3-1 ATS), but we wouldn’t be shocked…VT 21 Wake 19

#20 Baylor over #21 TEXAS A&M taking 9 ½: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Aggies D does ‘em in again… Bears 34 A&M 31

#24 AUBURN over Florida taking 2: Tigers 19 Florida 17

#25 Houston: IDLE (next vs. Marshall)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Bummer! Vindy was all set to make some serious bank selling audio of Justin Bieber barking signals to upcoming opponents of Tom Brady and the Patriots!

It’s only a matter of time before defensive coordinators start buying the voice equipment for their folks and the chess-matches begin, forcing teams to burn time-outs to keep up! The skill might even be added to the NFL Combine for defensive linemen and linebackers hoping to hear their names called on Draft Day. Four-two speed? Check. Hits like a brick house? Check. Vocal range to impersonate both Michael Clarke Duncan and Julia Child??!! Keeper!!!!

While on the topic of the NFL rulebook, if a player reaches into the neck of a ball-carrier’s uniform with a handful of a leafy, kale-like vegetable to bring him down, does the player get flagged for an illegal horse-collard greens tackle?

Plaxico Burress was apparently little more than a petulant child during his time in the pokey and was frequently made to “stand in the cornerback”! He also reportedly tutored other inmates in, among other studies, reading. Hmmm…”See the letters on this weapon? They spell ‘safety’, ‘semi-automatic’ and ‘full rock-n-roll’!!!”

Devoid of ranked squads for the first time in 29 seasons, Florida is now da’ Sun Belt State! (Which we suppose is better than the “Where the Sun Don’t Shine” State!).

We celebrate Columbus Day this week. How the hometown of the Buckeyes got its own national holiday and why its warranted stoppage of snail-mail delivery for a day is beyond us, but so be it….we’ll get a nice tattoo to commemorate the occasion!

Interestingly, the alma mater got some love this week as the Nitwit Lions now sit at #25 in the USA Coaches Poll.

Twice in July, Major League Baseball umpires issued three-ball walks. You should see their golf scores!

Break-up the Motor City! The Tigers are back in it against the Rangers in the ALCS, the Lions are 5-0 in the NFC North and it’s early in the NHL season, but what the hell…the Red Wings are 2-0 and tied atop the Central Division of the Western Conference!

Raiders QB Terrell Pryor is finally off suspension and is once again eligible to be part of a drive that doesn’t involve a suspended license or a questionable vehicle!

Black Shirt: We award the coveted undergarment to Texas Tech WR Alex Torres for the very late TD catch that salvaged a cover and rare forecast dubya for the Red Raiders (and one of just 7 wins for Vindicator last week).

“Wish I Had That One Back”: We’d sure like a mulligan on the UConn +19 ½ pick after noting how badly the Huskies were playing under their new coach.

“Locked in a Box?”: The Huskheads could not keep a poor Buckeyes team in check enough and drop the record to 3-3 (.500).

Shoppe Talk: We’re hiring some extra taxidermists to work some OT ‘cause it’s getting’ crowded at the Shoppe with Virginia Tech (0-5, .000), the Buckeyes (0-4, .000), West Virginia (1-4, .200), Arkansas (1-4, .200) and the Bengals of LSU (1-3, .250)!

Vindy’s Week 7 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 17-13 (.567)
RUTGERS -4 over Navy, Western Michigan -1 ½ over NORTHERN ILLINOIS, WASHINGTON -14 ½ over Colorado, Northwestern +6 over IOWA, North Texas +9 over WEEZIANA-LAFAYETTE

Vindy's Picks Week 6-2011

2011-10-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

TABLOID HELPED BRING DOWN BIN LADEN

LONDON (BBC)…While the Navy SEALS received most of the acclaim for the demise of Osama Bin Laden, global intelligence sources actually credit phone-hacking by members of the now-defunct British publication News of Da’ World. The information garnered by the 168-year-old publication and namesake of a well-known Queen album of the same title included communications related to the terrorist’s sports-betting and allowed special ops units in the region to infiltrate one of its members, posing as a runner, and keep tabs on Bin Laden’s whereabouts long enough to successfully pull off the raid that killed him. Further translation of his diary pages revealed not only his declarations of Jihad on March Madness and the BCS, but also entries noting failed covers in early May by some NBA and NHL teams, as well as his plan to deliver his “next parlay card to that infidel bookie via a courier wearing a vest full of explosives!”

Somehow, amidst the canine chaos that saw the ‘dogs take 11 of 18 games last week (including six outright dog victories) following four weeks of chalk advantage, our futile forecaster finally finishes a week on the plus-side, at 10-8 (39-50-1, .438), riding a late-Saturday surge by the favorites.

We’re chasin’ stewardesses with a beverage cart on Pan Am this Saturday, while slingin’ soft drinks and copies of

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 6 FORECAST
(Supporting Breast Cancer Awareness all month with pink text!)

THURS. OCT. 6

#9 OREGON over California giving 24: Ducks 51 Cal 20

FRI. OCT. 7

FRESNO STATE over #5 Boise State taking 20 ½: BSU 34 FSU 20

SAT. OCT. 8

#17 Florida over #1 LSU taking 13 ½: As we feared, Gators’ running game was sufficiently-stuffed by ‘Bama. They won’t move on the ground well here either. Tigers just 2-3 SU and 1-3-1 ATS in recent Florida series, but have already beaten (and covered against) three Top 25 teams. Bengals still dismal conference home-faves, but are playing with a lot of confidence knowing the D will bail them outta’ any given mistakes. Florida QB Brantley is out…Bengals 24 Gators 14

Vanderbilt over #2 ALABAMA taking 29: ‘Bama 34 Vandy 7

#11 Texas over #3 Oklahoma taking 10: ‘Horns have won four of the previous six Red River Rivalry games, going 4-1-1 ATS. One of the two losses came in the 2010 version, 28-20. UT looks like a team on a mission following last season’s disaster, but Sooners hold the edge in experience and opposition-faced this year. Freshman David Ash would start his first game vs. Oklahoma if he gets the nod. Sooners obviously didn’t buy into that “conference sandwich” theory we were postulatin’ and hung 62 on the Cardinals of Ball State as one of the few faves that cleaned some clock in Week Five…Sooners 24 Longhorns 19

#4 Wisconsin: IDLE (next vs. Indiana)

Kansas over #6 OKLAHOMA STATE taking 32: OKSU 41 Kansas 16

Colorado over #7 STANFORD taking 29 ½: Cardinal 39 Bison 17

#8 CLEMSON over Boston College giving 21: Boston College is 0-4 ATS and 1-4 outright with only victory coming vs. I-AA Massachusetts. Eagles came into 2011 scoring an average of 16.3 points per game and , omitting the 45 they hung on the Minutemen, have averaged just 14.5 ppg. BC has gone “under” the total four times in as many tries. We wondered if Clemson would take a breather here after knocking off three straight ranked foes, but BC won 16-10 last season and its Homecoming… Tigers 31 BC 0

#15 Auburn over #10 ARKANSAS taking 10: Coach Chizik has done a nice job with very few returning starters, getting wins over two then-ranked clubs and suffering a lone defeat to now-Top Ten Clemson. War Eagle did take advantage of South Carolina offense-in-shambles and combined with the Poultry for eight turnovers. Auburn’s now covered the spread in 7 of last 8 games vs. ranked opponents, but best shot here is to pound the ball. Rush D continues to plague the Pigs, who gave up 381 yards on the ground to A&M. Tigers come in at 34th nationally in rushing offense. What’s in the tank for the Bacon after big rally to win last week…Hogs 27 Auburn 20

#12 Michigan @ NORTHWESTERN: OFF

Maryland over #13 GEORGIA TECH taking 14: While we’re disappointed in the Bees’ top-ranked ground offense allowing a 33-yard fumble return for NC State’s covering (or pushing) score with 20 seconds (20-freakin-seconds!) left, we still cashed our ticket, getting the Jackets early at 9 ½. Might be a good “over” play here with Tech going “over” in all four games and letting each opponent score at least 21. First meeting of these two since 2007’s win by Maryland 28-26 victory. Box Turtles tough to figure to-date…beating Miami, losing close game to West Virginia, then getting bounced 38-7 by Temple?!! Wasps are just 4-6-1 last 11 as favorites in Atlanta… Hive 34 Terps 24

#14 NEBRASKA over Ohio State giving 11: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Several months ago, this looked like a very troublesome game for the Pop Corn, who was seriously-embarrassed in their inaugural Big Tentacle Conference appearance by Wisconsin (though eliminating three INTs that became Badgers scores, the defeat looks much more palatable). Huskers did find some early success against Wisky back seven. Buckeyes were expected to have the full complement of players available for this one, but three players, including RB Boom Herron, have been scratched again for yet-another scandal (being over-paid or paid for work not done…[sound familiar, Oklahoma fans???!!]). Despite reasonable defensive performances, the damage has been done for State, suffering two losses and scoring 7 or less in two of last three overall. Big Dread hasn’t been impressive, just 1-3 ATS, with its only cover at Wyoming …Huskers 31 OSU 12

Connecticut over #16 WEST VIRGINIA taking 19 ½: Huskies are floundering under first-year guidance of Paul Pasqualoni, who led the Orange to uninspiring records of 4-8, 6-6 and 6-6 in his final three seasons in Syracuse. UConn’s two SU victories came vs. I-AA Fordham and Buffalo. The three losses, however (Vandy, Western Michigan and Iowa State) are by a total of 14 points. Big Least opener for the Huskies, who return most of the kids that backed their way into last season’s Fiesta Bowl beatdown by Oklahoma. Bowling Green got the brunt of Mounties’ frustration following bad loss to LSU…’Eers 27 UConn 13

#18 SOUTH CAROLINA over Kentucky giving 21: Carolina’s offense continues to be in major disarray and the Tenders need a confidence-booster. We think the visiting Mildcats, who managed the backdoor cover at LSU last week, are the ones that can provide it to ‘em. Scary layin’ the lumber with the Phightin’ Pheasants, especially since they’re just 2 of 11 giving points when lookin’ for payback. KY beat the Poultry 31-28 last season, but has yielded 107 total points over its past three tilts to-date, while points-scored has dwindled weekly from 27 down to 7. The experience on the Kentucky offensive line ain’t workin’ out…Cornish Hens 34 KY 9

INDIANA over #19 Illinois taking 14 ½: This got “lock” consideration. Illini may be the most-overrated 5-0 team in the country, showing three recent victories by a total of nine points and rallying to take all three…at home! Hosers are under new management and come off 16-10 loss to Penn State. Indy’s four defeats were by total of 19 points, but the losses were to Ball State, Virginia and (GASP!) North Texas! Just can’t lay this many on the road with UI squad walkin’ the tight-rope week-in and week-out…Illini 20 Indy 13

Missouri over #20 KANSAS STATE giving 3: This one also got a long look for “lock”. Wildcats mustered surprising wins over short-handed Miami and Baylor (on the strength of late Bears interception), but apparently the linesmaker ain’t havin’ any of the smoke and mirrors, installing K-State as a home dog this week. Tigers have owned this series, winning by double-digits in each of the past 5 seasons. ‘Cats’ other pair of wins were against Eastern Kentucky (by 3) and Kent State (37-0). Mizzou is already 2-0 ATS on the road this year and excels ATS when winning outright away from home…Mizzou 34 KSU 21

#21 VIRGINIA TECH over Miami giving 7 ½: VT 20 ‘Canes 10

UTAH over #22 Arizona State taking 3: Utes 17 Sun Devils 16

WAKE FOREST over #23 Florida State taking 13: ‘Noles 27 Deacons 19

TEXAS TECH (GASP!) over #24 Texas A&M taking 8 1/2: Vindy on current 3-18-1 (.142) forecast skid picking games involving the Red Raiders…and Tech is sniffin’ around the bottom of the rankings, searching for a way in. Also, while they won’t go against the official Tech tally, we were on the wrong side of “Guns Up” as best bets in back-to-back weeks already this year! (Tech installed the “pistol” offense this season and that shoulda’ been our first clue to not pick ‘em against Reno!). Reeling Aggies have suffered consecutive second-half meltdowns that squandered halftime leads of 17- and 18-points, respectively, in defeats to Oklahoma State and Arkansas. Looks like another track-meet, as Tech allowed 34 each to UNR and Kansas…Aggies 42 Tech 38

#25 BAYLOR over Iowa State giving 16: Baylor 44 ISU 20

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

We here at Vindy’s Picks just want to doff our helmets to maybe the best 1-3 team in the nation…Utah State for nearly beating Auburn, Colorado State and BYU!

After opening 0-2, the Frightenin’ Irish have posted straight three wins. Insiders say Notre Dame has thrown in the towel on Catholicism, instead adopting the pantheon of ancient Greece and is planning to replace the Touchdown Jesus with something a bit more intimidating, like…Touchdown Zeus or Touchdown Poseidon. Coaches have also scrapped the “Hail Mary” in favor of the “Hail Aphrodite”!

Notable trends to-date for unranked teams: Arkansas State 4-0 “under”, Iowa 4-0“over”, Marshall 4-1 ATS, MTSU 4-0 “over”, New Mexico 4-1 “over”, Ohio State 4-1“under”, Penn State 4-0 “under”, TCU 4-0 “over”, Temple 4-0 “under”, UCLA 1-4 ATS, UTEP 4-0 ATS, Virginia 0-4 ATS, Washington 4-0 ATS.

With the UNLV-UNR match this weekend, we mention the May approval by the Nevada Assembly of SB 441, allowing DMV to set up kiosks and terminals in private businesses for drivers to conduct DMV transactions online, with service fees going to the hosting businesses. Nice. Go to the sportsbook and get your license and registration renewed for a mere 10% vigorish! (Sorry…no parlays on those two items!).

Former Texas Tech coach Mike Leach has been noted as a possibility at a couple schools including New Mexico. The “Leftovers” column in the LVRJ suggests Leach, a pirate lore aficionado, would show up on the sidelines with an eye-patch and a parrot. Given Lobos recent win-loss history, we think Leach might simply teach alumni to say “Arrrrrrggghhh!” Maybe he could recruit Captain Jack Sparrow at quarterback.

Back in March, Cowboys wideout Dez Bryant got the boot from a Dallas mall after failing to comply with repeated requests to pull up his drooping pants. No truth to the rumor that the security guards-in-question threatened the precocious pass-catcher with an atomic wedgie!

Ex-Olympic Softballer Jennie Finch and hubby Casey Daigle (himself a former hurler in the Bigs), this year, welcomed second-son, Diesel Dean Daigle, into the world. Much ado was made about da’ pressure on first-born male son, Ace Shane Diesel, to be a pitcher but frankly, he coulda’ easily been tagged as an assassin, pet detective or…professional poker player!

Andy Rooney recently stepped away from his spot on “60 Minutes”. Vindy’s spies in State College, PA say the loveable 92-year-old curmudgeon has been named as head coach-in-waiting to replace Joe Paterno!

With hockey season starting Thursday, several local casinos have installed a trapezoid behind the sportsbook counter, so the ticket-writers can’t play a wager from either end of the counter without incurring a penalty!

Black Shirt: The obsidian tee goes to Nebraska QB Taylor Martinez for three interceptions that Wisky turned into touchdowns for one of our few correct chalk selections!

“Locked in a Box?”: The Bees fell a lone point short of covering at NC State and drop the lock record to 3-2 (.600).

Shoppe Talk: Hokies managed all of a single FG in outright loss to Clemson to go 0-4 (.000).

Vindy’s Week 6 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-4 Season: 14-11 (.560)
RUTGERS +6 ½ over Pitt, Temple -9 ½ over BALL STATE, Air Force +16 over NOTRE DAME, Syracuse -10 over TULANE, Weeziana Tech -3 ½ over IDAHO

BTW, Vindicator slid head-first into the sportsbook, leaving his wallet on the ground, apparently giving himself up…but the bookie, playing to the whistle, scooped up the wallet and continued to put Vin’s money toward more wagers!

Vindy's Picks Week 5-2011

2011-09-28T19:13:00.000-07:00

FORECASTER QUESTIONED IN AIRPLANE GRAFFITI CRIMES

LOS ANGELES, California (UPI)…Extradited from Sin City to the City of Angels, the Vegas Vindicator withstood hours of interrogation from LAPD’s finest and…in a move being reviewed by the ACLU…the “Knights Who Sayyyyyyy…’Nee!’”…and gave them nothing (Nothing, we say!), categorically-denying any involvement in the recent airplane-graffiti crimes, in which someone has been chemically-etching symbols, originally-thought to be Arabic in nature, on the bottoms of Southwest Airlines passenger jets with a solution that reveals itself only after the craft’s body heats up during the normal course of flight or taxiing down the runway in preparation for take-off. Akin to the magic trick in which lemon-juice writing appears on a paper-surface when a match or other source of open-flame is waved behind the document, the warmed chemicals illuminated the words “Vindy’s Picks”, followed by one of the famed forecaster’s Week Four game-predictions. The odorous oracle publicly-thanked the perpetrator of the vessel-defiling for the shameless plug, but refuted he was actually responsible for the acts of vandalism or “tagging”. Presented with DNA evidence from remnants of his clothing found at the scene by CSI: Los Angeles, Vindy admitted he likes to lie on the ground at night near the gates of various LAX concourses, with lighted batons strapped to his arms and legs, and do “snow angels” to catch the attention of aircraft passing overhead, then slip into the cargo-holds of newly-arrived planes, to be transported with the rest of the luggage to the baggage-claim area on the conveyor-belt, and “ride the carousel”.

A six-ton, city bus-size satellite crashed to Earth last week. The location was initially unknown...to everyone except fans at Sam Boyd Stadium, who watched that sucker plummet right smack into the Rebels’ playbook at halftime of the Southern Utah game. We apparently caught some of the shrapnel, finishing 7-10 (29-42-1, .414). For every loss this Thursday and Saturday, we vow to use glow-in-the-dark paint to inscribe profanities, in English, on the seedy underbelly of…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 5 FORECAST
Studying hard to pass the Coors Light bar exam!)

THURS. SEPT. 29
#16 South Florida over PITT giving 2: Money’s streaming in on USF after opening as 1-point fave in Big Least opener for both sides. Multiple spread-trends put Bulls in the driver’s seat here vs. Panthers, who went bowlin’ after 2010 season, but have just mustered wins over I-AA teams and lost to desperate and sloppy Irish squad, 15-12, last week. South Florida, pathetically, looks like the club to beat in the conference in 2011. Temple might be the squad with the best post-season prognosis in the Keystone State…USF 24 Pitt 13

SAT. OCT. 1
#1 LSU over Kentucky giving 29 ½: Bengals 42 KY 7

Ball State over #2 OKLAHOMA taking 37: Two words…”conference sandwich”. Cardinals catch Sooners between a pair of Big 12 games….Mizzou last week, and Red River rivalry game vs. Texas on-deck. Ball State was just 6-18 straight-up entering this season, but is 2-1 SU thus far, upsetting both Indiana and Army (around a spanking by South Florida), utilizing a reasonably-balanced offense, and shows a 14-6 road dog record over the past 4+ years. Okies have beaten the line in Norman in 20 of last 26, but…OK 42 Ball State 17

#3 Alabama over #12 FLORIDA giving 4: Florida is rockin’ 11-1-1 ATS getting points in SEC match-ups, but we watched ‘Bama demoralize Arkansas on defense and special teams despite a sluggish offense, including one very staunch goal-line stand by the Pigs. Hogs’ O had some success against Tide with underneath crossing routes, but ‘Bama defenders delivered some brutal “de-cleaters” vs. Razorbacks’ ball-carriers. Gators posted 405 rushing yards vs. Kentucky, but ‘Bama limited Arkansas to 17 yards on 19 carries and Nick Saban went all Les Miles with an early fake FG for a score. Gotta’ lay the small line here. Crocs walloped Bruce Banner last weekend. This week, they get The Hulk!...”Don’t Make Me Angry..You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry 27 Florida 17

Nevada-Reno over #4 BOISE STATE taking 27: No faith in this pick. Two concepts to consider. 1) Broncos QB Kellen Moore is illin’ and not playing at 100% (went less than three quarters in spread-loss vs. Tulsa) and 2) Reno handed Boise its only outright defeat of last season. In addition, we question Wolfpack’s mindframe after yielding two-touchdown, 3rd Quarter advantage to Texas Tech, on the road, to lose on Red Raiders scoring pass with just over half-a-minute to play. Broncos are coin-toss worthy ATS at home. Fourth consecutive away tilt for Reno, who scraped by San Josie 17-14. The NCAA has put the kibosh on Boise wearin’ the Smurfilicious unis at home on the blue turf, but we don’t see why UNR couldn’t turn the tables and bust out their own azure duds. Could be nice “over” play… Tater-Heads 44 Reno 24

#5 Oklahoma State: IDLE (next vs. Kansas)

#6 STANFORD over Ucla giving 20: Stanford 38 UCLA 10

#7 WISCONSIN over #8 Nebraska giving 9: Huskers have historically-solid SU and ATS record against Big Tenuous teams, but most-recently squared-off against said conference in 2005 post-season. Madison is a tough place to open a new club membership. Not sold on QB Taylor Martinez and Big Dread team that didn’t pull away from Wyoming until the second-half…Badgers 33 Nebraska 20

#9 Oregon: IDLE (next vs. Cal 10/6)

Auburn over #10 SOUTH CAROLINA taking 10: Fightin’ Squab 30 Tigers 24

#11 VIRGINIA TECH over #13 Clemson giving 7: Tigers got by furious late rally by Seminoles, who drew a dozen penalty flags to fall short. First meeting since Tech’s 41-23 win in 2007. Hokies, giving up 15 fewer points-per-game than Clemson and 13-4 ATS in ACC play, won’t be able to take a knee at the end of the 3rd Quarter this Saturday as they have done previously in wins over the non-conference buffet…VT 21 Tigers 13

#14 Texas A&M over #18 Arkansas giving 2 ½: As previously-noted, Arkansas deserved a better fate vs. Alabama. Aggies coughed it up four times in the final 30 minutes to waste a 17-point halftime lead and fall to Oklahoma State. A&M will have to guard vs. Hogs’ kick-return unit. The game is being hosted by Cowboys Stadium in Dallas. However, due to a snafu over temporary seating , many ticket-holders will actually be relocated and forced to watch the game from chairs elsewhere in Arlington!...A&M 34 Arkansas 29

#15 Baylor over KANSAS STATE giving 3 ½: Bears 37 Wildcats 27

#17 Texas over IOWA STATE giving 9 ½: Steers 28 Dust Devils 17

#19 MICHIGAN over Minnesota giving 20: What started as a promising season under new coach Jerry Kill, with a near-upset of then-ranked Southern Cal, came crashing down with a defeat to New Mexico State, an unconvincing 29-23 victory over Miami-Ohio and last week’s outright loss to I-AA North Dakota State…again! We would normally attribute the downfall to the distractions of Coach Kill’s health problems, which have seen him hospitalized with seizures, but the 0-fers have perennially been a welcome site for FCS teams in recent years. Gerbils lost to the Bison in their 2007 meeting, edged South Dakota State 16-13 in 2009 and were beaten by South Dakota last year (Are you listening, UNLV???). Wolverines need to seriously-improve on 4-20 spread tally vs. fellow Big Tender Foot teams, but are off to nice 4-0 SU/3-0 ATS jump on 2011 behind Denard Robinson. Gerbils are 6-1 taking double-digits against opponents over .500 and have covered 5 of last 6 facing Top 25, but only four BCS conference teams score fewer ppg than they do…Michigan 42 Minne-so-when-does-basketball-season-start? 17

Southern Methodist over #20 TCU taking 11 ½: TCU 34 SMU 31

#21 Georgia Tech over NC STATE giving 11 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Yellowjackets have covered 11 of last 15 vs. the Wolfpack, but got their stingers handed to ‘em in last season’s 45-28 loss. NC State is clearly floundering without QB Russell Wilson, who’s doing good things for the Badgers and can claim only a pair of SU wins over FCS opponents, having given up 34 at Wake Forest and 44 in bad loss at Cincinnati. State yielded better than 5 ypc to the Bearkats. Again, we note Tech’s nation-leading rushing game at 7 ypc, which effectively stifled North Carolina for three quarters last week….Wreck 44 NCSU 16

Bowling Green over #22 WEST VIRGINIA taking 20 ½: Mounties 35 Bee Gees 20

#23 Florida State: IDLE (next @ Wake Forest)

Northwestern over #24 ILLINOIS taking 8 ½: Illini 17 NW 12

Oregon State over #25 ARIZONA STATE taking 18: The presence of senior wide-out James Rodgers for the first time this year did not help the Beavers, who were “upset” (?) by UCLA last week, yet, we’re not ready to lay this many with the Pitchforks, who look for revenge over 2010’s 31-28 loss to State, but who have bounced in-and-out of the rankings and did so this week behind four turnovers by the Trojans…and must travel to Utah next….ASU 19 OSU 10

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, your nimble narrator once nearly got picked-up and carried-off by an intoxicated female traveller, who left the Weber Kid to his own devices after noting the luggage-tag, illicitly-acquired and prominently- sported by the Vindicator in an effort to blend-in with the rest of the suitcases, had the wrong address written on it!

On a Spring vacation back East, Vin was pulled for one of those “random”, expanded security searches and was disappointed when the TSA agent-in-question was caught fondling Vindy’s Picks! During that same trip, Vindy kept watch on the flight-status board for arrivals and departures. While Vin never did determine if his plane would come in or leave as scheduled, he was able to follow pick-by-pick NFL Draft selections!

And while we’re on the topic, referees have been stuffing penalty markers into each piece of luggage because at Southwest Airlines “flags fly free”!

FCS Strikes Again!: #28 Southern Utah 41 UNLV 16 (Guess which Mountain Jest squad just became a favored homecoming opponent for a boatload of AA teams???!!), #26 Sam Houston State 48 New Mexico 45 OT (Goodbye, Mike Locksley) and the aforementioned #12North Dakota State 37 Gilded Gerbils 24 (Go Bison!!!)

In August, a 22-year-old woman in Alaska, hoping to save her pooch from becoming take-out food, punched a black bear in da’ nose. This is a woman we would gladly have as part of the now-reduced wedge in front of our kick-returners!

As the Major League playoffs approach, the Yankees and Red Sox continue to get heat for playing games vs. each other at a snail’s pace. Maybe somebody should tell the respective stadium announcers that blasting the theme-song from “Chariots of Fire” over the PA system to start each inning has gotta’ go!

The top scoring-defense after four weeks of college gridiron contests? ‘Bama? Nope. Wisconsin? Uh-uh. LSU??!! Not even close! Allowing a paltry 7.8 ppg…..the Owls of Temple!!!!!!!!

“Wish I Had That One Back”: Yep, we knew we shoulda’ taken Baylor over Rice!

“Locked in a Box?”: The mighty Gators hammered Kentucky to move our lock tally to 3-1 (.750)

Shoppe Talk: We’ll be servin’ fricasseed Hokies in the Shoppe Café this week with Virginia Tech at 0-3 (.000). And joining our circus as well, the Elephants of the Crimson Tide (1-3, .250, with three straight forecast losses).

Vindy’s Week 5 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-3 Season: 12-7 (.632)
Utah State +7 ½ over BYU, Rutgers +3 over SYRACUSE, OHIO -16 ½ over Kent State, Northern Illinois -9 over CENTRAL MICHIGAN, KANSAS +6 ½ over Texas Tech, EAST CAROLINA +6 ½ over North Carolina

Vindy's Picks Week 4-2011

2011-09-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

FORECASTER WINS BACK TITLE TOWN

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin (UPI)…About a week-and-a-half following the alien invasion, subsequent occupation of this beloved dwelling and release of the Packers cheerleading squad, brokered by Bill Clinton, who also arranged, in a solely “diplomatic” move, White House internships for a couple of “promising” female extraterrestrials, the Vegas Vindicator made an unselfish humanitarian gesture and offered himself to the ET force in exchange for the freedom of the local citizens of Green Bay, going where no prognosticator has gone before. Moved to the core of their very being (as only outlanders from space can be), the conquering army accepted the deal and returned independence to the city. In his final comments to the media before boarding the alien vessel, Vindy said the strangers’ yellowish-green, wedged-shaped heads with circular and semi-circular pock marks were “vaguely-familiar” and “reminded (him) of something”, but he “couldn’t remember what.”

Our pungent prophet posted a third straight losing week with 7-13 (22-32-1, .407), in part due to supporting the bigger chalk. Teams laying more than two touchdown went 1-7 ATS on Saturday and factoring in Boise’s cover of about 19 points, 2-7 on the weekend (Squads like Virginia Tech and Alabama went scoreless in the final 15 minutes or more????!!! We smell a rat!). “Bookie, bookie, bookie…why do ya treat me this wayyyyy, ya know I’m still your wager-boy, ya know I bet the same way…My honey, my bookie…don’t put my love on no shelf…She said, ‘I got my own liiiines, so keep yo’ picks to yo’sellllllf!’” Needing a boost(er rocket?), Vindy pays the Mother-ship organist to play “Here we go, Vinnnn-Deeee, here we go!” before transmitting…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 4 FORECAST
(Ruining your children’s attention spans faster than SpongeBob)

SAT. SEPT. 24
Missouri over #1 OKLAHOMA taking 21 ½: We were definitely in favor of the Sooners moving to the 12-PAC. Think of all the construction jobs that would open up as the result of trying to re-route the Pacific Coast Highway through Norman, Oklahoma! (Weighing-in on the issue, Sarah Palin said she also supported the conference change and could “see the ocean” from Oklahoma Memorial Stadium!). Maybe the covered-wagon could be out-fitted with sails???!!!…Boomer Schooner? 34 Tigers 19

#2 Louisiana State over #16 WEST VIRGINIA giving 5 ½: The shift by Dana Holgorsen to the spread offense shows in Mounties’ lack of a running game. A trio of WVU receivers all went for better than 100 yards each, but it was a defensive pick-six that would be the difference in the victory over Maryland. Bengals tried to support Vindy’s Mississippi State pick by drawing five flags in less than 10-minute timeframe last week. Yet-another challenge for young Tigers’ D. West Virginia lost two outta’ three games vs. Top 25 in 2010, but covered all 3, including 20-14 defeat to LSU. WVU denied the AP’s request this summer for e-mails between school officials and coaches prior to the departure of then-coach Bill Stewart, who allegedly asked a media person to find- and spill da’ beans on his successor-be. Not to worry. We think Wiki-Leaks will eventually release those communications… at the worst-possible moment of the season…Bengals 23 Mounties 13

#14 Arkansas over #3 ALABAMA taking 11 ½: Tide’s allowing average of 6 ppg, but two of first three opponents had basically zero offensive potential (including the alma mater, who sent theirs to the locker room after the opening drive!).’Bama hasn’t posted more than a single ATS defeat in September since 2007. Elephants have covered last six following scoring more than 35 vs. non-SEC foes. Hogs need to shore-up the rush D. Only yielded 84 ground yards to Troy, but on just 20 carries. Even accounting for two long scoring runs from each of Tide RBs Richardson and Lacy, they still managed averages of 4+ and 7+ yards per tote. Razorbacks lost tough 24-20 decision in one of those rare ‘Bama games decided by single-digits last year and carry 7-3 ATS record facing Top 25 , including 4-1 on the road in those games...Tide 34 Arkansas 25

#4 BOISE STATE over Tulsa giving 32 ½: Boise 56 Tulsa 20

#5 Stanford: IDLE (next vs. UCLA)

South Dakota @ #6 WISCONSIN: No line

#8 Texas A&M over #7 Oklahoma State giving 3 (@ Cowboys Stadium, Dallas): Will there be lasting effects from Cowpokes’ previous game that went until 3:30 AM????!!! Coaches at State carried on with usual weekly schedule of practice. OKSU allowed 33 to Tulsa. Aggies, who have a bye next, won 38-35 in 2010. State’s covered just 2 of last 7 vs. ranked opponents. Cadets on 8-4 home chalk run, but quit scoring with 6 minutes left in 3rd Quarter (and were -2 in turnover ratio vs. Idaho). Cowboys are 2-6 prior to facing the Jayhawks…Aggies 41 State 33

WYOMING over #9 Nebraska taking 22 ½: Huskers 27 Wyoming 9

#10 Oregon over ARIZONA giving 15 ½: Drakes 41 ‘Cats 20

#11 Florida State over #21 CLEMSON giving 1 ½: ‘Noles game vs. Oklahoma mighta’ ended differently had EJ Manuel not been injured. Then again, maybe not. Redshirt freshman Clint Trickett carried himself mighty well, all things considered, but like many reserves, coughed up a turnover at a critical time…but still half as many as the starter did. Tigers are 3-0 SU and 2-0 against the number. Nonetheless, the Wofford escape continues to haunt us. Injuns held 6 of 8 conference opponents to 16 or less last year (and 2 of 3 foes overall this season). Home team has taken the money in 7 of last 9 in the series. Clemson had to rally from early two-score hole vs. Auburn…Chop 17 Clemson 13

Vanderbilt over #12 SOUTH CAROLINA taking 16 ½: Gamehens 30 Commodores 16

#13 Virginia Tech over MARSHALL giving 20 ½: VT 41 Herd 17

#15 Florida over KENTUCKY giving 19 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. WR Chris Rainey has been Da’ Man for the Gators, contributing significantly to the rushing game, as well as on special teams (blocking a punt last week). Given a weak offense for the ‘Cats, who come off loss to rival Louisville (who was beaten by Stun Belt squad Florida International) and unimpressive victories over Western Kentucky and Central Michigan, combined with Florida offense also battling to find any early rhythm (scoring a TD and three FGs in first half vs. Tennessee [with some credit to the Vols]), “under” might be the real choice here. Crocs are, however, 3-0 ATS, while KY is on 2-6 skid. UF is a nice road fave and we don’t see the Wildcats closing the gap enough on last season’s 48-14 defeat in the Swamp…Florida 39 KY 13

Rice over #17 BAYLOR taking 20: Owls rested last weekend after pulling off the minor upset of Purdue (can’t believe we just said that), while Bears shutout I-AA Stephen F. Austin for three quarters before refs called that one due to weather. Rice brings back 18 starters and are just 3 points from 2-0 spread record. Bears bumble vs. revenge-minded opponents, going 0-fer-last seven in that role. Barnyard Birds are lousy vs. non-conference teams, especially the Big (currently)-12 and even worse away from the home farm. RG III has thrown 9 scoring passes without an INT. Owls have allowed 3 aerial touchdowns with no picks thus far and finished 118th in the nation in 2010 with 34-6 ratio. “Wish I Had it Back” written all over this, but…Baylor 31 Rice 17

#18 SOUTH FLORIDA over Texas-El Paso giving 29: USF 42 UTEP 10

#19 Texas: IDLE (next @ Iowa State)

Portland State @ #20 TCU: No line.

#22 MICHIGAN over San Diego State giving 10: Not a bad lock choice. Oh please. Sudzu whacked I-AA Cal Poly, then squeaked by Army. Big Blue enjoying fourth of five straight games at the Big House to open the ’11 campaign. UM is either 2-1 or 2-0-1 depending on whether ya had Week Three’s four-touchdown win over Eastern Michigan as a loss or a push. Current Wolverine coach was head man over the Aztecs in the previous two seasons and led State to a 9-4 record and its first post-season in a dozen years. Aztecs were 5-2 ATS as road dogs and 3-3 ATS vs. ranked under Brady Hoke, but all six of those Top 25 foes were fellow-Mountain Jest teams, none of whom had a dual-threat QB named Robinson…Despicable Meeeesigan 28 SDSU 14

ARIZONA STATE over #23 Southern Cal giving 2 ½: Have to figure officials at the LA school were overjoyed to hear about issues at OSU and Miami to divert some unwanted media attention coming into the season. Sun Devils are kicking themselves for late fumble that gave Illinois the win and their spot in the rankings. Trojans pounded visiting Syracuse, but we ain’t convinced after USC survived Minnesota and Utah, both at the Coliseum. ASU has covered 5 of last 7 conference openers, giving points in about half of those, but Troy has won 11 straight years, including 34-33 in 2010. Top running back Marc Tyler couldn’t dress for Trojans’ opener vs. the Golden Gophers for suggesting to TMZ that he receives money to play for the school, indicating, “USC, they breaking bread.” Maybe he misspoke and actually meant the Athletic Department was auditing a culinary class and making bread?! Or maybe USC just really stands for… “Undercover Spending-Cash”… Pitchforks 23 USC 19

Western Michigan over #24 ILLINOIS taking 13 ½: Had the Illini not been in da’ Top 25 this week, we’da’ had this as a “best bet”. Illini lost in all statistical categories in triumph over Arizona State and are fortunate to be here, getting the deciding tally on the aforementioned late turnover. MAC contender Broncos drew a spread-loss in weather-shortened tilt at Michigan and are now 3-11-1 getting points on the road, 0-fer-last-five getting double-digits outside Kalamazoo and 1-4 ATS facing Big Tentacles Conference enemies. Illini are 13-7 ATS in past 20 matches, but mere 3-3 giving Champaign points. WMU is poor 1-6-1 outside da’ MAC and we’d really we’d just prefer the “over” in a shootout… Illinois 38 Western Michigan 31

North Carolina over #25 GEORGIA TECH taking 6 ½: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Bees have broken into the 60’s twice already behind usual, big running game. Tech beat a suspension-strapped Carolina team in Raleigh, 30-24, last year and has taken 5 of last 6 outright in this series, though has gone only 2-5 ATS in last 7. Tarheels winning on defense this year and have gone “under” the total in both lined games (though barely in both). UNC has dropped 4 of last 6 SU when yielding more than 17 points. And one of two victories came this season after giving up 22 to Rutgers. We like Carolina’s rushing defense (giving a mere 2.3 ypc) and tougher schedule to-date. An NCAA probe revealed Tarheels football players racked up over $13K of parking tickets from 2007-2010…. and what Terrell Pryor was doing in Raleigh during each of those years is still anybody’s guess!...UNC 24 Joja’ Tech 23

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Clearly, the aliens didn’t get a look at Vindy’s Week Three results or they’da’ jettisoned our hero out the photon-torpedo tube with the rest of the sub-orbital offal before the ship got off da’ ground!

The State (Republic?) of Texas has rebuked the taboo on incandescent lightbulbs. We love watchin’ the newly-named Longhorns mascot, Bevolt, trot onto the field and hearing the A&M cadets yell “Giga-watt ‘Em, Aggies!” BTW, “How many Red Raiders does it take… to change a light-bulb?!”

Discussing the preseason collision with a wide-receiver during practice that left him with shoulder- and pelvis injuries, and temporarily confined to him to a golf cart for mobility purposes, Joe Paterno said, “The good Lord has a way of doing things.” Apparently, until the day in question, it was a little known fact that God had taken over duties as offensive coordinator and was now calling pass routes! We’re just wondering what surface He was using to draw up the X’s and OMGs!!! We’ll take it as a good sign that somebody on high wants JoePa to keep coaching since it was 5-foot-7 Devon Smith that was sent crashing into the venerable NCAA icon rather than…ohhhh, let’s say….6-foot-6, 275-lbs. TE Garry Gilliam!!!BTW, we always thought it was the players, not the coaches that were posed atop the motorized platforms in the old Coleco Electric Football game!

On the telly as part of the new Fall line-up…a football adaptation of a popular game show in which contestants have whatever’s left on the clock following the final time-out to drive their team down the field into position to kick a FG that would secure the victory in…”About Two Minutes to Win It!”

Elsewhere on the boob tube, U.S. Women’s Soccer goalie, Hope Solo, opened nicely on “Dancing With Da’ Stars” this week….with big brother Han in the studio cheering her along! Meanwhile, NBA baller Ron Artest made a quick exit. What a shame. We’re told the man soon-to-be-known as Metal Whirled Pizza (somethin’ like that) still had a couple flagrant fouls-to-give!

In one of those draft-preview articles, ESPN Da’ Mag noted the average Wonderlic test score for quarterbacks was 24, 29 for computer programmers and 15 for janitors. Had Batman’s youthful sidekick scored well on the “IQ” test administered during the NFL Combine, would he have been known as...Robin, the Boy Wonderlic???! BTW, test officials wouldn’t reveal Vindy’s final tally, but suggested the end result puts the fab forecaster somewhere between waterboy and...goalpost!

Black Shirt: Goes to Boise State coach Chris Petersen for keeping petal-to-metal and allowing RB Drew Wright to score an 8-yard TD with 90 seconds left, already up 18 over Toledo to get the cover, and one of Vindy’s seven total correct picks this week.

“Locked in a Box?”: As we called, Navy nearly upset the Fightin’ Fowl, bringing the lock record to 2-1 (.667), including Stanford’s delayed-but-eventual spread win over Duke, which we somehow neglected to mention in Week Three.

Shoppe Talk: The Buckeyes go to 0-3 (and mercifully fall outta’ the rankings this week).

Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-3 Season: 10-4 (.714)
TEXAS TECH -20 over Nevada-Reno, MEMPHIS +22 over Southern Methodist, BALL STATE +4 over Army, Fresno State -4 over IDAHO, MISSISSIPPI STATE -20 over Weeziana Tech

Vindy Picks Week 3-2011

2011-09-14T18:51:00.000-07:00

FROZEN TUNDRA FALLS TO ALIENS AFTER PRESIDENTIAL SLIGHT

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin (ITAR-Tass)…Enthralled by post-game coverage of the Packers’ exciting 42-34 Thursday night victory over the New Orleans Saints to kick-off the 2011 NFL season, citizens of Title Town, USA never saw it coming. Aliens attacked and annexed Lambeau Field, as well as the surrounding city without so much as a hint they were approaching. That’s because Barrack Obama refused to break into local coverage to announce the imminent threat, as he had done throughout the rest of the nation. Answering questions from the media about his inaction here, President Obama said the people of Green Bay had “declared their priorities loud-and-clear” when Milwaukee TV station WTMJ “bumped” the President’s speech on unemployment to another station in favor of the pre-game gala and that he “wasn’t about to trample on their civil rights” by interrupting the broadcast with breaking news of the invasion. Asked if, in retrospect, he regretted his decision, the Commander-in-Chief replied, “Hey, I’m a Bears fan. I’m crushed…NOT!”

Our shaky seer was a ½-point Friday night forecast-win from an early 0-7 hole, but late afternoon and evening games were kind enough to result in a 7-9-1 finish for Week Two (15-19-1, .441 season), despite a Big Tent-Peg conference that went rogue on one of its own faithful alum with an 0-4 “performance”.

Following back-to-back sub-par weeks, Vindicator has been informed he will be forced to “join ‘Peggy’ in ‘retraining program’” if he doesn’t do something good with…

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 3 FORECAST(Now available on the Inter-Galactic Sports Network)

THURS. SEPT. 15
#25 MISSISSIPPI STATE over #3 Louisiana State taking 3 ½: Bulldogs were out-gained, out-first-downed and out-done in time-of-possession in tough-but-entertaining loss at Auburn. Tigers got past the sloppy Ducks in a game that was closer than the final score suggested and went 4-4 ATS in the SEC in 2010, bringing the five-year total to 12-24-5. LSU won 29-7 last year and State’s last outright victory in this series was 1999. Bulldogs went 1-4 ATS against the Top 25 last year, getting its only SU win in those games at Florida. Tigers have won 6 of last 8 vs. ranked foes, but the young defense tackles another high-powered offense. Both teams have been well-over the totals.... Bengals 34 Bulldogs 31

FRI. SEPT. 16
#4 Boise State over TOLEDO giving 18 ½: Rockets may have left it all on the gridiron after almost doing the unthinkable by nearly dropping Ohio State. But unlike the Buckeyes, Broncos will play with all their folks, probably including three from Amsterdam who sat out last week (and given that their respective prep schools were in the near-proximity of legal marijuana and red light districts, they mighta’ been more at home at UNLV…just sayin’.) and more-established offense. Boise has not covered last 4 games spotting their opponents less than three touchdowns on weekdays (we thank Marc Lawrence’s Playbook. Com for that convoluted trend) and did allow Joja’ scoring passes of 36- and 51-yards. Toledo did have a pair of receivers each over 100 receiving yards each in the OSU game. Boise has been nice 12-4 road fave the last three seasons and won 57-14 in 2010 match-up. Visiting the home of da’ Mudhens this week….Charlie Sheen and his “Violent Toledo of Truth” tour…BSU 44 Rockets 20

SAT. SEPT. 17
#1 Oklahoma over #5 FLORIDA STATE giving 3 ½: Pressure’s on the Sooners to defend the #1 ranking and we saw what happened to the TCU Frogs at the hands of vengeful Baylor in Week One, but the Toads nearly pulled it out anyway. Sooners got the bye and the extra week to prepare, and while they still really haven’t played anybody, ‘Noles got to stay in tune by pounding Charlatan Southern. No confidence in this call and we’d prefer “under” whatever total gets posted…OK 24 FSU 17

#2 ALABAMA over North Texas giving 46: Tide 54 Lean Green 0

#6 Stanford over ARIZONA giving 10: Cardinal 31 AZ 17

NORTHERN ILLINOIS over #7 Wisconsin taking 16 ½: Wisky 29 Huskies 16

#8 Oklahoma State over TULSA giving 14: OKSU 38 Hurricane 20

#9 TEXAS A&M over Idaho giving 36 ½: Aggies are rested for this one, but historically A&M is dismal 1-5 SU/0-5-1 ATS off a bye. Nonetheless, Tater Town is 6-13 ATS in last 19 lined games, 2-8 ATS back to last season, rolled over completely as 6-point chalk in opening home-loss to Bowling Green (supporting one of our best bet selections!) and trailed FCS squad North Dakota 14-3 early and 14-10 at halftime. Lots of seniors for Idaho, but just four returning starters on offense. We’ll stick with reliable home fave and Vindy’s BCS Title game contestant choice A&M, led by Ryan Tannehill…Aggies 54 Garlic Mashed 10

Washington over #10 NEBRASKA taking 17 ½: Big Dread 28 Sled Dogs 13

Navy over #11 SOUTH CAROLINA taking 18 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Gamecocks struggled early with East Carolina and then rallied to scrape past Georgia. Quarterback issues are apparent on offense and nobody on the young Carolina D-line has seen the Middies’ version of the option. Navy excels sailing in hostile waters, enjoying current 16-5 run as road dogs. Sailors get a bye after this before hosting Air Force, so they can let it rip. If it wasn’t for the presence of KFC running back Marcus Lattimore, we’d be hanging “upset pick of da’ week” on this…Poultry 28 Navy 23

Missouri State @ #12 OREGON: No line.

#13 VIRGINIA TECH over Arkansas State giving 24: Hokies 44 ASU 13

#14 ARKANSAS over Troy giving 24 ½: Hogs 45 Trojans 17

#15 Michigan State over NOTRE DAME taking 5: Two late-game collapses have put the Irish in a bad way. The Golden Domers have been September bet-against material since the start of the 2006 season and continue to be with 0-2 spread tally already this season. Spartans won 34-31 in 2010. Four of the last six in this match-up were decided by 3, the other two were double-digit victories by State. Sparty has been a bad road dog, but Leprechauns have been horrible home chalk at 9-21-2. ND is another squad with uncertainties under center…MSU 24 ND 20

Tennessee over #16 FLORIDA taking 9: Gators have beaten UT six straight years, the last four by double-digits, going just 3-2-1 ATS in the process. Florida eventually smothered (and covered) the Blazers in 39-0 rout and in a humanitarian move, went scoreless after three quarters. Of concern however, might be the tiny detail that four of UF’s first five tallies were field goals or safeties. Rocky Top seemingly has a new attitude and looked good in opening victories over I-AA Montana and a feisty Cincinnati team. Florida won 31-17 last year, but is just 5-10-2 against the number in conference play. Vols sport a 7-3 spread record as away dogs and 24-14-3 ATS in the SEC. Apparently, that nagging voice Vindy heard imploring him in Week Two to take UAB and the generous handicap turned out to just be a defective See ‘N Say in his childhood toy chest (“The dragon says ‘moooooo’! [Hey…we told ya it was defective!]) …Crocs 29 Vols 24

#17 Ohio State over MIAMI taking 3: We were hopin’ this one woulda’ stayed off the board, but so be it! Buckeyes, last week, displayed the blundering offensive effort we expected to see vs. Akron, posting a goose-egg in 4th Quarter and hanging on at Toledo. Both sides are still without some peeps and ‘Canes paid the price, losing opener to Maryland. State won 36-24 last season and Miami wants payback, but the Pelicans are 6-14 layin’ points in Coral Gables, 1-5 in last six vs. ranked opponents, under new management (We still love ya, Al Golden!) and will play inconsistent QB Jacory Harris, who’s as apt to throw a pick as he is a touchdown pass. Luke Fickell, at least, has played a couple games, while Harris has been limited to practice only. Defensive edge goes to the Big Ten squad as well, and we think Buckeyes find a way to win it. Miami booster Nevin Shapiro enticed players with motorcycles and leather jackets. The athletes, many of whom watched re-runs of Happy Days as kids, apparently thought their benevolent-but-bogus benefactor said “Fonzie scheme” and figured it was all good. Reached for comment later, Henry Winkler flashed a thumbs-up and quipped, “Miami???? Heeeyyyyyy!!!!!”… Ohio State 20 Miami 16

MARYLAND over #18 West Virginia giving 2: Box Turtles 24 Mountaineers 19

Stephen F. Austin @ #19 BAYLOR: No line.

Florida A&M @ #20 SOUTH FLORIDA: No line.

#21 Auburn over CLEMSON taking 3 ½: Like the trees at Toomer’s Corner, Auburn is resilient, coming out on the right side of a couple of nail-biters. Like Auburn, Clemson is breaking-in a lot of new faces on defense. It is experienced on offense…except at quarterback. Auburn took this one 27-24 last year, one of four defeats for Clemson by 6 points or less. Clemson hasn’t been tested yet and was unimpressive in last week’s 35-29 win over I-AA Wofford. BTW, the War Eagle that did a major face-plant on the pane-glass of a luxury box at Jordan-Hare Stadium last week has been offered a rockin’ endorsement deal from Windex!...Auburn 31 Clemson 27

#22 Arizona State over ILLINOIS giving 1 ½: Is the ASU logo change reminiscent for anybody else out there, as it is for Vindicator, of Aquaman’s or Neptune’s trident???!!!”Fear the Fork (Respect da’ Tail?!!!)”!....ASU 23 Illini 14

#23 TEXAS CHRISTIAN over Louisiana-Monroe giving 27 ½: Toads 34 ULM 3

#24 Texas over UCLA giving 3 ½: Not a bad choice for lock. Maybe we spoke too soon about Garrett Gilbert’s improved competency at QB for the ‘Horns. He bought himself a trip to the pine this week with 2-fer-8 for 8 yards and two picks vs. BYU. Bruins lost shootout to Houston and we think they were maybe looking past San Josie with ugly 10-point decision in anticipation of this one…or were they? Steers in revenge mode after last year’s 34-12 Bruins win sent the Austin Angus into a major tailspin. UCLA was a good bet vs. non-conference coming into 2011, but has dropped both to the line in two tries to-date…Texas 24 UCLA 13

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, Obama also went on to praise the efforts of resistance forces across the country that successfully repelled the extraterrestrial hoards, including folks in his hometown of Chicago, who made their final stand at O’Hare International Airport and gave new meaning to the phrase “Monsters of the Midway”!

In related news, the Chicago Bears announced a last-minute cancellation of Family Night in late August after the grounds-crew forgot to water Soldier Field and heat forced postponement of that day’s practice. Great. Da’ Bears were 0-1 at home before the season even started!

Last week, we noted some surprising final scores from FBS-FCS tussles. This week’s entries in the “Whachu’ talkin’ ‘bout, Willis???!!!”category include: the aforementioned Clemson 35 (#9) Wofford 27, Weeziana Tech 48 (#20) Central Arkansas 42(OT), Pitt 35 (unranked) Maine 29, Syracuse 21 (unranked ) Rhode Island 14, Eastern Michigan 14 (unranked) Alabama State 7….and just a week after nearly toppling USC, the Gilded Gerbils of Minnesota fall outright, 28-21, to New Mexico State, who had a total of five SU wins over the previous two years!

East Baton Rouge PD seized 49 (count ‘em, 49!) pairs of shoes during a search of Jordan Jefferson’s pad. Leads us to conclude one of three things…1) JJ lives with a woman 2) the Bengals QB secretly wants to be a woman or 3) he actually wants to play for Oregon and has compiled the requisite amount of footwear to go with each of the Ducks’ possible uniform combinations!

Cam Newton coulda’ made millions being drafted by…and playing for…the Denver Broncos or Buffalo Bills this past April, but his father had already offered-up the former Auburn Tiger’s services to the Carolina Panthers in exchange for three separate payments totaling $180,000! (The elder Newton was subsequently offered the role of Dr. Evil in an upcoming remake of Austin Powers in Goldmember!

After five attempts, Doug Flutie’s daughter finally got herself a roster spot as a New England Patriots cheerleader. Judges were left with no choice but to grant her the job after she launched her pom-poms 65-yards downfield to a waiting Gerard Phelan in the end zone with no time left in her audition, giving her the upset over another girl, who was heavily-favored to win the position!

Vindy caught the following headline in a May edition of the Las Vegas Review-Journal: “MLB Probes Treatment Given to Yankees’ Colon”. Huh??!! Did unsavory things happen during the Bronx Bombers’ team visit to the proctologist???!!

Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco didn’t make the contract-cut following a five-day March tryout with Kansas City of the MLS. Still, we can’t wait to see him bicycle-kick his first pass-reception through the uprights!

Steve Spurrier came out this week in support of research by a college athlete advocacy group showing your run-of-the-mill I-A gridiron player is worth about $121,000. Yet another Kelly Blue Book special-edition shows a Mercedes S-class or Bentley with very little mileage will fetch ya Charlie Batch…or Ryan Leaf and a nifty full-size skull tat on the butt-cheek of your choice!

Shoppe Talk: Joining the Buckeyes (0-2), Oklahoma State gets to ride the Shoppe range following back-to-back forecast losses to start the season. In addition, we invite the ECU Pirates and Bulls of South Florida, both 0-2.

Vindy’s Week 3 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-0 Season: 8-1 (.889)
Nevada-Reno -5 ½ over SAN JOSE STATE, CINCINNATI -31 over Akron, Washington State +7 over SAN DIEGO STATE, Utah +6 ½ over BYU, BOWLING GREEN -8 ½ over Wyoming

And now back to our favorite stoner fantasy-flick-with-religious-overtones….”The Chronic of Narnia”! (Yeah, YEAH! Save the hate-mail for someone who cares!)

Vindy's Picks 2011 Week 2

2011-09-07T17:52:00.000-07:00

STEELER WOWS CROWD WITH NUPTIALS REDUX

PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania (Reuters)....Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger, who tied the knot in July, responding to queries from spectators, gave fans attending the final home practice prior to the team’s 2011 season-opener at Baltimore this week, a huge surprise. Huddling up with his wife of less-than-seven weeks, and in a break from the usual marriage-tradition, Big Ben re-enacted a key moment of his summer wedding, tossing the bouquet himself. Observers say Roethlisberger, with the pocket collapsing and the Matron-of-Honor draped all over him, calmly went through his progressions, then settled on a check-down, delivering a nifty touch-pass toward the sideline, which got hauled-in nicely by a bridesmaid, who laid-out to make the catch before she went outta’ bounds. Video-replay confirmed the receiver got both feet down, dragging her nine-inch stiletto heels along the turf to validate the reception!

A nifty 2-0 Thursday night (3-0 if ya count our Bowling Green best bet) got whacked by a poor Saturday night and left our hero on the wrong end of a 7-9 record and needing both of Sunday’s faves to break even on the weekend. The Aggies won big, but the premature, weather-shortened outing in Morgantown kept West Virginia from extending its lead and sent our noxious narrator to Week One’s disappointing 8-10 (.444) finish.

Hoping to exact a little payback on a well-known, climatological female entity, Vindy snatches Thor’s hammer and thrusts the mighty Mjolnir into the air (Correct-a-mundo, Sportsfans! Your fab forecaster has been deemed worthy of wielding the legendary weapon!), forcing the skies inside the sportsbook to darken just before raining down thunder, lightning and….

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 2 FORECAST
(You betcher’ Asgard!)

THURS. SEPT. 8
Arizona over #9 OKLAHOMA STATE taking 14: ‘Cats have dropped 8 straight to the spread after posting 35 or more points the previous week (41 vs. NAU), Stanford on-deck and zippo starters coming back from last season’s offensive line, but we just can’t put our hopes on a Heisman-candidate QB and still-weak Cowboys defense that combined to give up 34 points to a weak-sister of the Sun Belt. ‘Zona also has a revenge factor, losing to Okie State by 26 in 2010 Alamo Bowl. Defense continues to be a perennial issue for OKSU. Arizona’s last I-A victory came prior to last Halloween…Oklahoma State 31 Arizona 28

FRI. SEPT. 9
#21 Missouri over ARIZONA STATE taking 7 ½: Presence of a new man under center replacing Blaine Gabbert for the Tigers showed in Missouri’s 17-6 victory over Miami-Ohio. Sun Devils are 9-2-1 ATS in Tempe the past 2 seasons, though just 7-6 SU. Rushing and total yards are up in each of the past two seasons for ASU, but it is now the hunted in this one after losing (but covering) all three games last year vs. ranked opponents…State 24 Mizzou 20

SAT. SEPT. 10
#1 Oklahoma: IDLE (next @ Florida State)

Northwestern State @ #2 LSU: No line.

#23 PENN STATE over #3 Alabama taking 9 ½: The good news? Rob Bolden, who started under center of this one last year as a true frosh, is back to lead the Lions again. The bad news? So is the then-very-young ‘Bama defense he faced at the time. Now-departed Heisman winner Mark Ingram didn’t even play in the 2010 version. Turnovers killed State last year, with interceptions deep in Tide territory in the 1st- and 3rd Quarters, keeping PSU outta’ the end zone for the first time in three seasons. Lions have won 27 of last 32 non-conference games outright, but have covered only one of last seven facing Top 25 opponents. Tide’s last SU loss to a non-SEC squad was 2008 post-season bowl vs. Utah. Tide is just 4-4 ATS vs. ranked foes of late. Only six of ‘Bama’s last 29 saw a final margin in the single digits, though Tide lost 2 outta’ 3 of those SU last season (and failed to covered any of ‘em). ‘Bama 7-1 ATS in last 8 road games. Lions did not yield a sack in last year’s match…’Bama 19 Lions 13

#4 Boise State: IDLE (next @ Toledo 9/16)

Charleston Southern @ #5 FLORIDA STATE: No line.

#6 Stanford over DUKE giving 21: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Blue Devils are one of two FBS teams in this week’s picks which fell outright to a I-AA club to open the year (more on that topic in “hashmarks”). Heisman-probable Andrew Luck and company gave no quarter to San Jose State and we can’t believe the QB won’t pad a few stats vs. Dukies, who were blown out last year only by VirginiaTech and ‘Bama, but all except three opponents scored 27 on the Devils and all of ‘em scored 21 or more. Duke is a half-point from being 1-5 ATS in last six vs. the Top 25 and on 3-14 non-conference death-spiral…Cardinal 49 Duke 14

#7 Texas A&M: IDLE (next vs. Idaho)

Oregon State over #8 WISCONSIN taking 22: Beavers off shocking upset by FCS squad Sacramento State, who came in at #30 in the preseason FCS poll (one notch behind upcoming UNLV opponent, Southern Utah. Be afraid, Rebels fans…be very afraid!) Badgers showed some weaknesses against the run and on kick coverage in the opener. State took a major step backward last year in points-scored (down 8 ppg) while allowing 2 more points-against per match leading to current 1-5 SU/1-4 ATS skid. Still, Beavers are 7-3 against the line facing ranked foes the last two years …Varmints 37 State 19

Fresno State over #10 NEBRASKA taking 28: Big Dread 38 Fresno 17

#11 Virginia Tech over EAST CAROLINA giving 20: Hokies, who quickly erased its nightmarish start from last year by dismantling Appalachian State 66-13, also have some our hard-earned Euros riding on a BCS title bid. Pirates turned it over five times and gave up a huge punt-return for a Gamecocks’ score and still covered. Tech on 14-3 spread run going back to November 2009, but is just 5-14 in last 19 non-ACC bouts…Tech 51 ECU 20

#12 South Carolina over GEORGIA giving 3: All My Chicken 17 Joja’ 10

#13 OREGON over Nevada-Reno giving 27: Mighty Ducks paid the price for being sloppy in the second-half vs. LSU and will welcome their own partisan crowd to spur them on in Eugene against Wolfpack squad, not only playing its first game of the year, but also fielding a whole new backfield. UNR covered its past two vs. ranked opponents, but both were against Boise and saw now-NFLer Colin Kaepernick at quarterback. First of four straight road tilts for Reno, who’s beaten the line just once in last 8 tries getting double-digits outside da’ WAC. Mallards have opened with back-to-back ATS losses just once since 2001 (did so in 2009)…Quack Attack 56 UNR 24

#14 ARKANSAS over New Mexico giving 36 (@Little Rock, AR): Second choice for lock. Hogs coach Bobby Petrino recently took a playful shot at the Big Ten, noting the way to secure a National Title was to draw “one of those slow teams from the north”. We’re not sure if he was alluding to speed or IQ, but we’ll certainly be keepin’ an eye on which of the Big Ten-Point-Two-in-the-Forty or Big Can’t-Count-to-Ten clubs board the team bus and which hop on the team “short bus”! Lobos, in a spread-covering loss to Colorado State, helped us cash a parlay ticket last week and even scored their first touchdown in six season-openers, but they’re toast here. Razorbacks are solid bet at home…. Sooooeeeeey Pigs 48 New Mexico 7

#15 OHIO STATE over Toledo giving 19: Rockets were dismal road dogs until going 3-2 ATS last season. Line’s a bit smaller than we expected, but perhaps that’s a nod to Toledo’s scoring offense, which has been strong in recent years (though mustered nada in 41-2 home loss to Arizona in 2010) and hung 58 on FCS #10 squad New Hampshire last week. People magazine says a newly-seen “T” tat atop Bristol Palin’s right tootsie represents her son, male siblings and daddy…Tripp, Trig, Track and Todd. Horse hockey! Columbus insiders report the skin-art really honors Terrell Pryor and Jim Tressel!...OSU 42 Toledo 20

#16 Mississippi State over AUBURN giving 7: MSU 29 Auburn 17

Florida Atlantic over #17 MICHIGAN STATE taking 32 ½: Spartans 41 FAU 13

#18 FLORIDA over Alabama-Birmingham giving 23: Gators 38 UAB 14 (Vindy can’t bring himself to buck Crocs’ current 13-1 ATS record laying double-digits vs. non-conference teams and the knowledge that this is the first live-action game for the Blazers, but that little voice in our head is screamin’ take da’ Owls and da’ points. Could be our first “wish I had that one back” pick of 2011. Stay tuned.)

Norfolk State @ #19 WEST VIRGINIA: No line.

#20 Baylor: IDLE (next vs. Stephen F. Austin)

Ball State over #22 SOUTH FLORIDA taking 20: USF 23 Miami-O 13

#24 TEXAS over Brigham Young giving 7: Coogs are on borrowed time following late Ole Missed fumble that let BYU off the hook and eke out the win. We thank Texas for coming through (albeit barely) as one of our Week One best bets. Steers finished -12 in turnover ratio last year in a season that saw UT drop more SU games (7) than in the previous three years combined (5). QB Garrett Gilbert, after throwing 17 picks last season and at times, looking more like Gilbert Grape or Gilbert Gottfried directing the ‘Horns offense, was error-less vs. Rice. ‘Horns were 2-7 ATS vs. non- Big 12 squads and 3-8 as chalk in Austin the past two years. We expect them to hold serve here…TX 24 Mormons 14

#25 Texas Christian over AIR FORCE giving 2: We anticipated a slow start from the Frogs offense, but we think the Rebels had a layover in Waco on their way back from Madison and suited-up on defense for TCU. Toads can take heart in knowing USAF won’t put in the air anywhere near the times that Baylor did. In fact, the Pilots threw 9 passes vs. South Dakota, completing 4 of ‘em (6 of ‘em if you include the two that were caught by Coyotes defenders) while rushing 61 times. TCU won by 29 last year, but the past two meetings in Colorado Springs were each decided by a FG. Vin recently switched his home-owners’ insurance to State Farm. They bought him… a Falcon! (He’s a nice kid too. Lotsa’ potential as a fighter pilot!)…TCU 20 USAF 16

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, Roethlisberger and his wife actually busted-out a little trickeration during the original ceremony, with the blushing bride taking the handoff a few steps toward the line-of-marriage before wheeling-around and pitching the flowers back to Big Ben, in a nod to the classic flea-flicker!

First, Green Lantern, now Thor?…Vindicator sure gets around da’ superhero universe, doesn’t he???!!!

It’s a little-known fact Mother Nature was a ticket-writer and sportsbook director long before discovering her weather-control powers and gaining her current notoriety! (Insiders at The Weather Channel say the windy wench had wagers on Marshall and Western Michigan!)

We had a blast watchin’ that lucky sousaphone player dot the “I” in “Script Buick” as part of the Ohio State band’s performance at halftime of the Akron game. We think it’d be worth the penalty flag to taunt Da’ U next week by dotting the “I” in a “Script Shapiro”, don’t you???!!!

Folks besides Cameron Jordan who were apparently drunk-dialed by members of the Cleveland Browns organization in April and wrongly-informed they had been drafted by the club: American Idol alum Jordin Sparks, Cameron Diaz, Michael Jordan, Kirk Cameron, James Cameron and Jordan-Hare Stadium (BTW, the Auburn Tigers’ football venue later told media that it was “thrilled” with the selection by the Browns!).

And just FYI, anagrams of Nick Saban include “I Scan Bank” and “Cabin Snak” (which, depending on the pronunciation, could be “Cabin Snack” or “Cabin Snake”!). The ‘Bama coach is also one vowel away from “Sick Banana”!!!! (Why are you lookin’ at us like that???!!!)

Uh…did we say “we really like the ‘under’” on Week One’s TCU-Baylor game???!!! What we truly meant was “Bet da’ ranch on da’ ‘over’! This baby’s gonna’ close-in on the century mark!”

Eagle-eyed veterans among in the readership will have noticed a slight format change. We had a couple of extra weeks to contemplate spreads for Week One, but here-to-fore, we will continue to provide spread picks and score predictions, but will limit analysis and commentary to ten lined games each week instead of all of them (Yeah, we know there’s 12 this week! Put the damn abacus down!).

Nothing personal against the Maryland state flag, but those unis sported by the Terps on Monday night weren’t just ugly, they were fugly! (Yeah, yeah…we know….’Does Vindy place bets for his mother with that mouth????!!!’). BTW, the pattern and color-scheme leads us to propose a team name change to the…Maryland Harlequins! Frankly, we’d rather just see a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle emblazoned on the helmet.

As we noted above, it appears the Division I-A teams better bring their I-A game to the field when playing FCS teams, especially when the “lower” division folks are ranked. No surprise to see Duke fall to Richmond (#19), but Oregon State’s demise certainly wasn’t expected. Here are the other “Whew! We just dodged a bullet!” matches from Week One (with FCS poll rankings noted in parentheses)…Washington 30 (#1) E. Washington 27, Iowa State 20 (#7) Northern Iowa 19, Kansas State 10 (#33) E. Kentucky 7 and UTEP 31 (#37) Stony Brook 24 (OT)!!!!!

Back in March, London’s giant clock tracking the official countdown to the city’s 2012 Olympic Games stopped briefly. The Brits, however, had used all their time-outs and were hit with a technical foul. But after reviewing video, referees did, in fact, reverse the call and put enough time back on the clock to allow a catch-and-shoot.

Cirque du Soleil acrobat Gabryel Nogueira da Silva threw out the first pitch of a June Padres home game. The aerial contortions involved made MaryLou Retton jealous, and while not getting de Silva an opportunity to regularly toe-the-rubber for the Friars, they did garner the Vegas performer a Rollerball contract worth several million dollars!

Rollerball???!!! Now there’s a sport worthy of Olympics consideration! (Okay, OKAY…picture this…Lingerie Rollerball!!!!! Genius, right???!!!)

Meanwhile, in that other “football”…. Real Madrid signed 7-year-old Argentinian Leonel Angel Coira, who claims Spongebob Squarepants as his idol (Squidward Tentacles and Sandy Cheeks were on-hand to help recruit the youngster). Vegas is setting odds on which will occur first? “Leo” taking a corner…or being sent off by the referee to stand in one!

Black Shirt (awarded weekly to the person[s] whose effort or “effort” benefitted Vindy’s Picks in some way): The coveted ebony tee goes to Badgers kicker Kyle French for missing the point-after on Wisconsin’s second TD, allowing Vindy to open the year with a forecast dubya (BTW, UNLV coaches awarded a game-ball to the left upright that deflected what woulda’ been a third-straight FG miss for the Rebels through the goalposts for Vegas’ first score of the season!)

“Locked in a Box?”: Vin starts out 0-1 as the Okie State Cowpokes offense helped out a weak Lafayette team by throwing a pair of INT-for-TDs.

Shoppe Talk (candidates for stuffing at Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe as the result of repeated forecast losses):
The Buckeyes open the Shoppe after pitching the shutout against Akron (we’re shocked!).

Vindy’s Week 2 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-1 (.800) Season: 4-1 (.800)
Rutgers +10 ½ over NORTH CAROLINA, Tulsa -13 ½ over TULANE, Temple -14 ½ over AKRON, Utah +9 ½ over USC

Vindy's Picks Week 1-2011

2011-08-31T14:09:00.000-07:00

SCANDAL LEADS TO SPECIAL ADDENDUM

COLUMBUS, OHIO (MSNBC)....The Ohio State was cleared earlier this summer of charges regarding improper benefits related to vehicles when investigators found only Edsels, Gremlins and Ford Pintos in some players’ parents’ garages. But unconvinced, or at the very minimum…amused…, the folks at Kelly Blue Book, long-revered across the globe as the experts in used car values, printed a supplemental edition to their guide. Calculating the equivalent value of the cash and tattoos OSU players received in exchange for school memorabilia, Kelly’s new publication lists the fair-market worth of automobiles in number of championship rings, game-worn jerseys and autographed footballs. The new book even contains photos of the lovely tattoos available by make and model of the vehicles being traded-in.

After spending the off-season in the lead role of the Green Lantern sequel (that’s right Sportsfans [and fellow comicbook geeks]…the ring chose…the Weber Kid!), your humble host breaks the huddle with his 2011 Preseason Forecasting Strategy Team: former Navy captain Owen Honors, Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark musical actor Christopher Tierney, The Cape, Julian Assange, Brandi Favre, Charlie Sheen, the entire cast of Glee (including The Cheerios), Pippa Middleton, former Fiesta Bowl prez John Junker, Rapture prophet Harold Camping, Priceline.Com’s Naomi Price, NY Rep. Anthony Weiner (or at least pictures of him), Rupert Murdoch and the ghost of Paul Revere (all of whom also got invites to the Royal Wedding in April, unlike yer ornery oracle!) and kicks off the current betting campaign with….

THE WEBER KID’S 2011 WEEK 1 FORECAST
(Keeping air traffic controllers awake at night!)

THURS. SEPT. 1
Nevada-Las Vegas over #11 WISCONSIN taking 35 ½: We seriously considered this for “lock” after learning Coach Hauck, in his second year, would not, in fact, start as many as four freshmen on the Rebels O-line. Meanwhile, the Badgers acquired dual-threat QB Russell Wilson from NC State. Wisky hasn’t covered an opening match the past three years and Vegas is 0-fer last 10 as a road dog, but the Badgers are coin-toss worthy vs. non-conference teams of late. UW has played UNLV four times in the past nine seasons and none of the margins-of-victory exceeded 20 points (4-0 SU, but 1-3 or 1-2-1 ATS, depending on whether ya had last year as a loss or a push). None of the “sharps” in Sin City would commit on this one, but we’ll show some intestinal fortitude and have already plunked down some dinero on the hometown hobos...er..um…heroes!…Wisky 42 Rebels 13

#20 Mississippi State over MEMPHIS giving 29 ½: Tigers posted one SU victory last year (yielding 40 points per game mighta’ contributed to that), beating Middle Tennessee as a three-point dog, but could double that total (matching 2009’s pair of straight-up wins) before September is out. Bulldogs weren’t exactly “scoring machines” last season, but did post 47 or more four times, including 49-7 victory over Memphis to start 2010. Auburn’s on-deck for MSU, who’s covered just 2 of last 10 giving more than two touchdowns….MSU 48 Memphis 10

FRI. SEPT. 2
#14 Texas Christian over BAYLOR giving 6: Wow! A whole touchdown???!!! That’s either some serious love for Da’ Bears in the revenge mode or a whole lotta’ dis for a Frogs team that’s been dominant (36-3 SU) the last three years and comes off a perfect season. Granted, Horny Toads return just 8 starters total and break-in a new QB, but Bears are 3-9 as home dogs the last four years and finished 2010 on 1-5 ATS skid, including 24-point bowl loss to Illinois. TCU won by 35 last year, but did fail cover the opener for the first time in 6 tries. We really like “under” the total (55)…Kermits 20 Baylor 9

Youngstown State @ #17 MICHIGAN STATE: No line.

SAT. SEPT. 3
Tulsa over #1 OKLAHOMA taking 24 ½: Sooners took Utah State lightly this time last year and it almost cost ‘em. Tulsa’s new coach was a senior associate head coach for the Hurricane in 2010, so no continuity problems here. Oklahoma has just a single spread win in each of the last two Septembers and sent DeMarco Murray to the NFL. Tulsa’s on 8-1 ATS run and has covered 4 of last 5 vs. ranked opponents…Oklahoma 31 Tulsa 17

#2 ALABAMA over Kent State giving 38 ½: BCS Title co-favorite Tide loses Heisman-winner Mark Ingram, but Trent Richardson is a known quantity and will step right in to keep ‘Bama’s running game in fine shape. Flashes have a new coach and have been a lousy spread team in September. Tide could look ahead to next week’s trek to Happy Valley…’Bama 45 Kent State 0

#3 Oregon vs. #4 Louisiana State (OFF) (@ Arlington, TX): We love this! Title-game caliber match-up right from the git-go. Kudos to the Oregon staff for scheduling its second ranked opponent to open the season in the past three years! Given the strength of the SEC, Bengals could probably weather a close loss better than the Ducks, who may be distracted by the recruiting scandal. State’s offensive line coach, Greg Studrawa, had to hastily take over OC duties recently when Steven Kragthorpe yielded that job due to health reasons. Studrawa helped a resurgent Bowling Green squad win 8 and 9 games, respectively, in Urban Meyer’s final two seasons there in 2001 and 2002. Tigers won 5 of 6 games decided by a touchdown or less last year. Can the young LSU defense keep up with point-a-minute Ducks? Bengals’ only SU non-conference defeat in the last half-dozen years came at the hands of Vindy’s alma mater in the ’09 Capital One Bowl. There won’t be a line on this before we go to print and without knowing who’ll be missing from the gridiron, we’ll happily pass on a prediction and just hope for a close, entertaining game. Fashion-designers across the globe were on stand-by to make knock-offs once the royal wedding dress was revealed by Kate Middleton this past Spring. Great…three more uniform ideas for the Mallards!

#19 Georgia over #5 Boise State taking 3 (@ Atlanta, GA): Broncos have beaten two of their three ranked foes, but are just 1-2 ATS. NCAA violations related to the Boise women’s tennis team and minor ones applicable to its gridiron program sent the AD to the unemployment line. Dawgs are in midst of 0-4 ATS slide and suffered first losing SU season in Mark Richt’s 10 years between the hedges. That might explain the recent Princeton Review survey indicating Joja’ was surpassed by Ohio U. as the #1 party-school in the U.S. But last year’s gala champion would regain its rightful position atop the heap of empty beer cans should the Bulldogs, who’ve covered just 3 of last 13 vs. ranked foes but should enjoy partisan crowd-support, knock off the Tater-Heads….Nineteen Ninety-Nine 20 Boise 19

Louisiana-Monroe over #6 FLORIDA STATE taking 28 ½: Warhawks covered their last two openers (at Texas and neutral-site vs. Arkansas). In his rookie year as head coach, Jimbo Fisher led the ‘Noles to first double-digit win season since 2003. Injuns are without their top rusher this week and get this one followed I-AA Charleston Southern as only warm-ups before hosting Oklahoma. How much will they show?....FSU 27 ULM 6

San Jose State over #7 STANFORD taking 30: Spartans had been just 1-14-1 ATS entering last season, but got more competitive under their new coach, finishing 5-6 against the line (though posting only one SU victory, over I-AA Southern Utah) , including very respectable 13-point defeat in Madison. Cardinal has been very good 13-4 at home. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com notes San Josie has dropped 14 straight road tilts by average of 27.3 ppg. Spartans get 11 starters back on defense. They’ll need ‘em…Trees 41 SJSU 14

#9 OKLAHOMA STATE over Lafayette giving 37: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Cowboys won in Lafayette 54-28 last year. Ragin’ Cajuns 3-5 ATS vs. BCS teams, including outright upset over Kansas State in early 2009, but 0-4 vs. ranked opponents. No reason to believe State, after posting school’s first 11 win season (with 10 covers) won’t romp here…Cowpokes 52 ULL 10

Chattanooga @ #10 NEBRASKA: No line.

#12 South Carolina over EAST CAROLINA giving 20 ½: Reigning SEC East champion Gamehens open in Greenville, North Carolina vs. a squad, that despite only 5 returning starters on offense last year, put up 33 or more in 10 games. Unfortunately, the Buccos also yielded 42 or more in 9 of ‘em! New coach Ruffin McNeill was at the helm when Pirates got blasted in a 31-point bowl loss last season. ECU will be minus a projected starting WR and All-Conference CB Emmanuel Davis. Vegas oughta’ put up a prop bet on whether or not SC starting QB Stephen Garcia gets suspended again (for the third time in 2011) before kickoff. “Over” 62 might be the best choice….KFC 48 ECU 24

Appalachian State @ #13 VIRGINIA TECH: No line.

Missouri State @ #15 ARKANSAS: No line.

#16 NOTRE DAME over South Florida giving 10 ½: Leprechauns were frustrating 5-4-3 against the number last year and did not beat the spread in South Bend. In fact, Irish are just 4-12-3 in the shadow of Touchdown Jesus the last four seasons. Reinstatement of WR Floyd following DUI bodes well for coach Brian Kelly, who saw ND win and cover four straight to close out last season, including three upset victories. Irish don’t fare well vs. the Big Least, but Bulls are just 2-5 ATS facing ranked squads the past 2 years….Irish 28 USF 14

Akron over #18 OHIO STATE taking 34 ½: A new coach and a new quarterback could be disruptive early for the Buckeyes. State was on 23-5-2 spread streak over past 30 games, but this is obviously a different team now. Zips put just a lone game in the win-column last year and scored 14 or less in 7 of the 12 but did show improvement under their first-year coach, covering their final three games (1-2 SU, but one defeat was in OT, the other was by only 5). Akron’s covered five of last six getting more than 22 from a non-MAC opponent…. Buick Eyes 31 Akron 3

Miami-Ohio over #21 MISSOURI taking 19: Much to their betting backers’ delight, Tigers open, for the first time in five seasons, somewhere other than on a neutral field (3-7 ATS last 10 there) vs. Illinois. They do, however, take the gridiron without QB Blaine Gabbert, who hopes to help his NFL squad win a few tilts. Redhawks need to shore-up the ground game, which saw an average of less than 100 ypg in each of the last two seasons. Nonetheless, Miami-Ohio recorded 10 straight-up victories in 2010, finishing on 6-0 SU/5-1 ATS streak. Mizzou turned it around defensively last season, knocking 9 ppg off its points-against average…Mizzou 27 Miami-O 13

#22 FLORIDA over Florida Atlantic giving 35: Owls will open with five straight road games this year and Coach Schnellenberger has decided to call it a career after this season. Gators are under new management, but excel ATS facing non-conference foes, while FAU has gone 1-6-1 over last 8 vs. BCS teams. Florida won the last meeting 59-20 in 2007…Gators 49 FAU 10

Utah State over #23 AUBURN taking 21 ½: Grand total of six returning starters means nowhere to go but down for Auburn following a BCS Title run that survived a number of close calls. USU has been money-earning 9-4 vs. non-conference teams the last four seasons despite an offense that took a step backward in 2010 (offensive yardage down and points-scored down about a touchdown per game). Aggies won’t be intimidated here after losing at Oklahoma by just seven last year….Auburn 34 Aggies 20

Minnesota over #25 USC taking 22: No faith in either side here, but it’s another season playin’ for pride for da’ Trojans, who serve out the remainder of their probation and post-season ban. And, given that tiny fact and Reggie Bush’s recent response of “Not ‘no’, but ‘Hell no!’” to requests to fork over his Heisman hardware, we’re thinking folks in that part of L.A. are over-joyed to hear about scandals at Ohio State and Miami to divert some attention away from their program. Troy has been lousy home chalk, covering just 3 of its last 11 tries giving points at the Coliseum. Gophers (4-1 ATS in 2010 facing ranked opponents) are in flux, moving a WR to QB and trying to improve on grand total of nine sacks last season, but we believe in all the good things new coach Jerry Kill did at Northern Illinois … Trojans 28 Minny 11

SUN. SEPT. 4
#8 TEXAS A&M over Southern Methodist giving 16: Aggies garnered some of your all-knowing narrator’s hard-earned rupees on a futures bet to win the BCS championship this season. Ponies have been ugly 3-10 ATS in non-conference away games, but are getting better annually on both sides of the ball under June Jones and have been solid September team, including two covers vs. TCU the last two years. Aggies are 7-3 layin’ points at home the last two years, but most-recent winning spread record for non-conference was 2001….A&M 27 SMU 9

#24 WEST VIRGINIA over Marshall giving 22: Marshall’s only spread win in its first seven games came against the Mounties and Herd has gone 2-1-1 the last four (2-0 the past two) facing West Virginia. WVU held 9 opponents to 17 or less last season but have only 4 defensive starters back. An experienced O-line will have to hold things together early while young Marshall backfield gets its feet wet…’Eers 33 Marshall 7

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, two words the Columbus faithful don’t wanna’ hear…. “Tressel Toyota”!!!

“In brightest day, in blackest night…no point-spread shall escape my sight. Let those who worship bookies’ might…beware my power…VINDY’S PICKS!”

The Rebels will be without hotel accommodations for the stay in Madison, but Governor Scott Wilson will allow the team to sleep on the floor of the Capitol building at no charge!

Talent agent-at-the-center of the Ducks recruiting scandal, Willie Lyles, also reportedly had ties to Cal and…LSU. We think he should be allowed to toss the coin to determine the opening possession in this week’s Ducks-Tigers game!

Vindy’s spies inside Autzen Stadium report seeing a lovely white, lacy number that innovatively replaces the facemask with a veil and is worn only when someone prominent in Eugene gets hitched…called…the “Duckingham Palace”!! (Stuffin’ that 8-ft train, which will provide an advantage to opposing tacklers, back into the pads between plays is gonna’ be a pain-in-the-a$$ though!)

A couple seasons ago, we noted that from 1993-2008, at least two teams unranked in the AP preseason poll finished in the Top 10 of the final AP that year. In 2009, only Cincinnati did so and again, last year, only Stanford did so. We’re not convinced that AP voters got smarter, so…your mission…should ya choose to accept it…is to figure out which pair of squads will surprise in a big way!

Garden State governor Chris Christie got some heat this season for commandeering a state helicopter to his boy’s high school baseball game. There was also some controversy when a ball that hit the chopper, which was hovering over the left field foul line at the time, and caromed into the stands, was ruled a home run!

Vindy tuned-in this summer to catch some Women’s World Cup soccer coverage, but upon not detecting the annoying drone of vuvuzela horns, turned off the tube and immediately sought medical attention, thinking he’d damaged his ear drums!

Shoppe Talk: Will arch-rival Texas Tech 3-18-1 (.142) continue to torment our hero? How ‘bout 2010 Grillmaster Supreme Award winner UNR (2-6) or the Buckeyes of OSU (4-8-1)??!!! Stay tuned! Flyin’ well-under the radar because of limited appearances…Pitt…on 0-9 forecast skid!

Vindy’s Week 1 Best Bets: Last Year: 33-34-1 (.493) Last Week: 0-0 (.000) This Season: 0-0 (.000)
Bowling Green +7 ½ over IDAHO, Ohio -7 over NEW MEXICO STATE, SOUTHERN MISS -13 over Weeziana Tech, NEW MEXICO +6 over Colorado State TEXAS -24 ½ over Rice

Up next….we welcome the Nearly-Furloughed League, other thoughts on Ohio State and…. more offseason silliness!

Vindy's Picks 2010-11 Bowl Recap

2011-01-11T20:44:00.000-08:00

GIANTS GET “BADGERED” DURING DELAY

MADISON, Wisconsin (Reuters)....Just when fans thought it couldn’t get any worse for the New York Giants, who were eliminated from the playoffs earlier this month with Green Bay’s 10-3 win over Chicago, WikiLeaks released previously-classified documents claiming the NFL team, stuck an extra day in Wisconsin due to weather cancellations of the charter flight home following the 45-10 loss to the Packers, was beaten by the Badgers in a pre-bowl practice session. Details of the somewhat-impromptu scrimmage, which was closed to the public, were supposed to remain hidden from public knowledge. But school officials suspect a graduate assistant or team manager of providing WikiLeaks with play-by-play information, including a final score favoring the FBS college pigskin squad. With nowhere to go and wanting to give his players a psychological lift after the bad defeat, Tom Coughlin accepted the offer from Badgers coach Bret Bielema, who hoped to allow his squad the chance to face the kind of speed expected to be brought to the Rose Bowl by TCU.

Hand-scribbled lyrics by John Lennon for “A College Game Day in the Life” (You guys know the words. Everybody sing....”he blew his mind out in a parlay card. He hadn’t noticed that the lines had changed...’.), written in three different colors of ink, were acquired for just over one million dollars at a summer Sotheby’s auction. That same prestigious company later garnered a couple of shillings for notes that Vindicator etched in the glass of three different beer bottles in preparation for...

THE WEBER KID’S 2010-11 BOWL RECAP
(Currently topping the Billboard charts in the U.K.)

It was a post-season of streaks. After yielding two forecast wins behind BYU and Northern Illinois to open Vindy’s bowl journey, the bookies sent the fab forecaster on a 1-4-1 trek, including the sinking of our “lock of da’ bowls” pick Navy, as a reminder of who really runs this town. The Weber Kid retaliated with a subsequent 6-0run, across all half-dozen games of December 27 thru December 29, that came crashing down, getting stopped colder than the UConn women’s hoops win-streak at Stanford, at the hands of Army as our hero tossed up an airball, going 0-fer-Thursday, December 30(we’re shocked), en route to a 1-9 demise (including the missed extra point and penalty-filled meltdown of Vols’ OT loss to Carolina preceding the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty that cost Kansas State its bowl win, which had Vin within half-a-chain-link of hurling a beer bottle through the TV screen and within a full chain-link of swearing off college football altogether) that lasted into the early games of 2011. But Vindy would bust out his Little Orphan Annie secret decoder pin and pirouette away from danger, taking the last four games on New Year’s Day. The rest of the way would be a defensive struggle, with neither side yielding more than two back-to-back victories by the other. The cover by Boston College in the Fight Hunger Bowl assured Weber of nothing worse than a .500 bowl season. Oregon’s push, aided by the reversal of a late Auburn touchdown that led to the eventual winning FG for the Tigers, allowed Vindy to back his way into the winning side of the final bowl ledger for the first time in at least five seasons at 17-16-2 (which shoulda’ been 18-15-2, but one correct pick was errantly disallowed by disgraced World Cup referee Koman Coulibaly)!

Favorites covered 18-20 of the games, depending on whose numbers ya look at. By our count, dogs covered 15, winning 13 outright and the first non-straight-up-winning dog cover didn’t occur until Northwestern lost 45-38 to Texas Tech (GASP!)in the first game of 2011, covering a 9 ½-point line (and adding to Vindy’ ongoing woes vs. the Red Raiders....which now stands at 3-18-1[.142]!).

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

On the heels of LeBron James likening his new NBA team to the Lads from Liverpool, we offer a sampling of tunes from the Heatles Greatest Hits album (yes...we said album!): I Want to Hold Your Headband, Norwegian Hardwood (This Larry Bird Has Flown), Eight Plays A Week, Octopus’s Madison Square Garden, While My Center Gently Weeps, Day Dribbler, Over-the-Back Writer and...Let It Three!

While we’re talkin’ ‘bout dulcet sounds, MGM Resorts International will allow patrons who spend enough money the opportunity to eat dinner while over-looking the Bellagio fountains, which will move in sync to a tune of the patron’s selection. We plan to drop...er...wager...enough dinero to be able to throw-down some grub as the famous spouts dance to Eye of the Tiger, Darth Vader’s theme....or at least Wham’s 1986 version of Last Christmas!

BTW, research by Vindicator’s crack staff has uncovered proof that the guy who calls himself “Mayhem” in all those Allstate commercials went to college (and was the fourth-string quarterback-turned-starter after a pre-game meal of all-ya-can-eat calamari) at...Texas Tech!

While we alluded to Auburn’s potential feigning of injury to slow-down any offensive momentum built by the Ducks, having a special teams player go down on the opening kickoff that saw Oregon get its opening possession at its own 15-yard line mighta’ been just a tad premature!

BTW, did anybody else out there, upon seeing the florescent yellow socks and similarly-colored yellow beanie caps of Oregon players on the sideline, briefly flashback to the minions of “Despicable Me”?????!!!

Brett Favre didn’t cooperate in the investigation and drew himself what amounts to a $50K flag for unsportsmanlike conduct. Seems NFL investigators couldn’t tie the photos to the quarterback. Guess the photos couldn’t have been that long. Part of the problem was “retrieving and reviewing electronic records”. Can’t wait to see what WikiLeaks has on that one!. Brett now joins the esteemed company of folks like Joe Namath and Pat O’Brien (though Favre likely wasn’t tanked when he allegedly sent the sexts in question).

Mr. Favre announced his retirement earlier this month (again!). How ironic would it be to see him return to the sideline again as head coach at...Florida???!!!!

Heavy rains that flooded the field at Qualcomm Stadium forced the Middies and Aztecs to hold Poinsettia Bowl practices indoors in hotel ballrooms. The teams promised to use some of the game’s payout to replace chandeliers that got shattered by practice punts and kickoffs! The deluge also allowed the Popeyes to conduct their pre-game walk-though using remote-control boats!

Speaking of weather-related game difficulties, the Minnesota Vikings defeated the Philadelphia Eagles one day after their scheduled Monday-nighter was postponed due to snow at the Linc, but not before hospitable hotel personnel in the City of Brotherly Love attempted to make the Metrodome Marauders feel right at home by firing shotgun blasts into the ceiling panels of their respective hotel rooms!

While there’s some merit to Boise State president’s comment that Ohio State’s schedule as a “murderer’s row” doesn’t quite ring true, let’s face it, the Broncos’ slate is closer to Jaywalker’s Alley or Loiterer’s Cul-De-Sac!

Okay, one more Urban Meyer anagram....”Reuben Army”!

135 first-time Oscar voters submitted ballots this December. Apparently, a like number of rookie officials worked this season’s bowl games!

The Mississippi State Bulldogs accepted the Gator Bowl trophy following their win over the Wolverines but an anonymous player, on behalf of the whole team, said what they really wanted was a few pairs of the gold pants that Ohio State awards its players who beat Michigan!

The Big Tent-Peg Conference went 0-5 SU on New Year’s Day. Nebraska coulda’ sent a message to its soon-to-be-conference with a convincing victory over a down-trodden Washington squad in the Holiday Bowl. Instead, with a 19-7 defeat, the Children of the Corn let it be known they belong somewhere between Penn State and Purdue in the Big Tenuous food chain!

As of January 3rd, Arnold Schwarzenegger was out of a job. Maybe he could fill a coaching vacancy at the University of Pittsburgh or University of Michigan as.... Da’ Coachinator!

The anticipation of rain pushed the NHL Winter Classic from afternoon to an 8:00 PM start on January 1st. No truth to the rumor that league officials considered moving the game to Tuesday the 4th at the Metrodome!

Former radio announcer-turned-vagrant Ted Williams was recently offered a job announcing Cleveland Cavaliers games. He was also given the chance to perform similar duties for the Knicks following an interview consisting of a simple request to utter the word, “Yessssss!”. There’s no truth to the rumor he was almost signed to a contract by the Boston Red Sox in hopes he would hit .406 next season!

BYU hoopster Jackson Emery cooled off a hot run by the UNLV Runnin’ Rebels after losing a contact lens and the ensuing delay during the first half of the Mormons upset earlier this month. We think he has a future as a defensive coordinator at Cal! (And the kicker is that the Cougars’ senior doesn’t even wear contacts. A sideline assistant pulled off the old magician’s slight-of-hand to make it appear he was removing the dislodged lens from the player’s eye. Genius! Gotta’ figure he’ll also garner endorsement offers from ClearVision, EyeMasters and LensCrafters!).

A fairly large portion of the newly-crowned World Junior Hockey Champs were tossed off a Delta Airlines flight this month for being obnoxious. Apparently, some of the Russian players took the phrase “boarding the plane” literally and collectively tried to hip-check the aircraft into the side of the concourse! Others took turns shooting pucks down the aisle into the cockpit, celebrating each “goal”! Order was eventually restored, but not until the team “enforcer” and a flight attendant each got “five for fighting” in airplane lavatories for dropping the gloves. Air marshals waited ‘til the pair fell to the cabin floor before intervening.

There’s a movement underway to make pole-dancing a test event at the 2016 Rio De Janeiro Olympic Games. Since hearing of the proposal, potential judges have been tripping all over themselves for the right to pay the two-drink minimum cover charge just to gain entry to the Olympic venue and place tightly rolled-up score sheets into the competitors’ G-strings! (And does anybody else out there think the Rio Games logo looks like a giant pacifier??!!)

Trust Vindy...he grew up reading comicbooks about a doctor...Dr. Doom, Dr. Strange, Dr. Octopus....

Black Shirt: The post-season version of the ebony undergarment goes to alma mater quarterback Matt McGloin for throwin’ the 80-yard pick-six with about a minute left to give the covering score to the Gators! Honorable mentions to Iowa CB Micah Hyde for his INT for TD that gave the Hawkeyes the SU win over Mizzou and to Air Force safety Jon Davis, who grabbed the game-saving INT around the 2-yard line with 11 seconds left to preserve the win vs. Joja’ Tech

“Locked in a Box?”: Navy was beaten at its own game, being out-rushed by San Diego State and losing by two scores, dropping the season lock record to 7-8 (.467). We don’t wanna’ suggest that the ballroom practices carried over into the game itself, but the Middies did manage to get flagged for “12 men on the dance floor”!

Shoppe Talk: It was a role-reversal of sorts in the post-season as Good-Hands winner South Carolina and Michigan State hung forecast “L”s on our hero (with “Weber-Friendlies” going just 2-2), while Grill-Master Supreme UNR, in conjunction with Arizona, TCU and Wisconsin would put the 2010 Flame-Throwers at 4-2. No surprise, however, that one of the losses came from Ohio State!

Vindy’s Best Bets: Bowls: 5-2 Season: 33-34-1 (.493)

LEFTOVER HASH: (Vindy conducts the annual emptying of the clip by offering stuff that was available but didn’t find its way into the forecast earlier this season)

The New Orleans Saints won the 2010 Super Bowl. Did that make them the Brees Knees of the NFL!

Bret Favre finally reported to camp so late that until he got more practice reps with the first-team wideouts, on 3rd downs during live games, Coach Childress sent out a couple of the high school receivers he threw to all summer!

Passengers stranded at airports from Newark to London to Bangkok, as the result of volcanic ash from Iceland, cruise-ship riders in the midst of a three-day tow to shore aboard a powerless Carnival Splendor and Chilean miners trapped well-below the Earth’s surface for an extended period of time all had one thing in common....they wiled away the hours perusing copies of ...Vindy’s Picks.

In September, Disney launched a website for users to post their own pics, videos and other content about their experiences at the Happiest Place on Earth. Vindy’s Picks is doing likewise for bettors to have somewhere to put memories, torn-up parlay tickets and additional proof of their sportsbook mis-adventures!

Jack Del Rio called a timeout, down by 20, late in an October loss to the Titans, because he was asked to do so by ESPN, which needed a couple of network commercial breaks. In return, the “worldwide leader” will ask referees to grant an extra timeout during the Jags’ first two-minute drill of next season!

The University of Hawaii and the University of Chicago are in the running as locations for Obama’s presidential libraries. We foresee the creation of another bowl that’s only played with the change of administrations every four to eight years!

The Big Tendinitis Conference will present the Stagg-Paterno Trophy to its conference title-game winner. We ain’t eyeballed the hardware, but we’re told it was modeled after a photo of JoePa striking the Heisman pose!

The Russians have a sport called “chess-boxing” in which competitors alternate rounds of pugilism with moves of pieces on a chessboard.... “Yo, Adriannnnnnn... knight to queeeeeenn’s bishop siiiiiixx!”

Louisville hoops coach Rick Pitino, describing a 2003 tryst, said the sex lasted “15 seconds”....or slightly more than it takes the average NFL cornerback to run the forty back-to-back-to-back!

The August ish of ESPN: Da’ Mag reported that visa problems kept the Iroquois nation, which claims to have invented the game of lacrosse, from playing in a U.K,. tourney. Horse hockey! Everybody knows it was Al Gore who invented lacrosse!

RichRod, after his team’s 37-7 defeat by Ohio State said, “What do you want me to do? Holds hands with all the Buckeye fans and sing ‘Kumbaya’?” Following Michigan’s 52-14 bowl loss to Mississippi State and his subsequent dismissal from Big Blew, that wasn’t looking like such a bad idea.

Olympic snowboarder Hannah Teter donated $5 to charities benefitting Haiti for every pair of her underwear line sold. Ummm...are autographed “game-worn” ones still available???!!!

G.I. Jobs magazine designated the alma mater as a military-friendly school for its involvement in distance learning. “See the world, meet interesting people and...teach them to cheer ’WE ARE...PENN STATE!’”

This summer’s Yogi Berra Award goes to UNLV coach Bobby Hauck, who said of LB William Vea...”The more football he learns, the better he’s going to be.” Uhhhh...thanks for the profound insight, Coach!

Though he never made it onto the pitch during live-action, patrolling the sideline for the Ivory Coast World Cup soccer team was the man simply known as...Vindinho!

Much ado was made about an Australian man living inside a giant soccer ball during the World Cup. Please... it’s been done. Back in the early 90's in Arizona....it was called... the “Biosphere”!

How to speak Australian: “Fawwwwcast”...Australian for “Vindy’s Picks!”

A July news article noted the Boy Scouts have held their national jamboree every four years since 1981at Fort AP Hill Army base in Virginia. We’re thinking it was a typo that should’ve read “Fort AP Poll Army base”!!!!

Among the racy text messages from Tiger Woods revealed by Joslyn James on her website was...”I’m gonna’ make you wager with Vindy’s Picks!”

KFC sponsored a contest that offered a $20K college scholarship for the best 140-character-max tweet about why the sender deserved to win it. We tweeted that we were worthy of the free ride on the basis of calling the Poultry’s upset of Florida in the SEC Championship game. The Colonel’s company awarded the prize to somebody else, but did send Vindicator a coupon for a free small side of mashed potatoes at his next visit.

We submitted random lead stories and an actual pick from the 2009 season to the “I Write Like.Com” website. Analysis suggests Vin’s literary skills are similar to those of Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke and David Foster Wallace! (Ya can’t make stuff up like that, Sportsfans!)

A Michigan church group grabbed some major green after purchasing the winning lottery ticket at a Detroit porn shop. The Weber Kid is already planning his late-August road-trip to da’ Motor City to place a few futures bets at that same adult entertainment establishment on next season’s BCS Championship!

Starting the 2010 season, the final regular-season USA Today coaches poll will be kept confidential. Fortunately, the Weber Kid holds a Top Secret/Need-To-Know clearance. The M-5, KGB, US Secret Service and.....Vindicator, by golly...NEED to know!

On the big screen, Vindicator gets little more than a tepid response to his weekly forecast from a female acquaintance in...”Ten Signs She’s Just Not Into Your Picks”!!! Elsewhere...Will Farrell stars as a figure skater who is known more for his ‘do than his triple-jumps in...”Braids of Glory”!!!

8-year-old Briton Kieron Williamson is pulling in some serious six-pence for his paintings. Kieron said he wants to be a “painter and footballer” when he matures. He’ll look funny taking the pitch with a brush and a pallette, but if he’s as good with a soccer ball as he is with his hands, we’re guessin’ he’ll paint a lovely portrait of the opposing goalie... right before scoring on him.

Jimmy Buffett sponsored the Jamaican dog-sled team for the Iditarod last March. We look forward to his next hit-single...”Cheeseburger in Anchorage”!!!

The Miss America pageant’s TV contract with TLC (The Leering Channel???) expired in March, leaving the extravaganza (currently underway in Sin City again this month) needing a new broadcast home. We’re thinking Versus or Fox Sports West!

The 2010 Miss USA, who hailed from Michigan, stumbled in her dress during that competition. Ironically, the Wolverines would do the same in the Gator Bowl vs. Mississippi State (as we predicted!). The judges panel for the contest included Johnny Weir, Tara Conner, Carmelo Anthony, Paula Deen, Oscar Nunez, Treasure Island owner Phil Ruffin, Melania Trump and Glamour magazine executive fashion editor Suze Yalof-Schwartz. Throw in Lindsey Lohan and/or Charlie Sheen and this coulda’ been Vindy’s preseason forecasting strategy team!

And finally....in June, a federal judge was asked to decide whether cheerleading can be counted as a sport by schools looking to meet gender-equity requirements as part of a lawsuit by members of Quinnipiac U. after the school eliminated women’s volleyball in favor of a competitive cheer squad. Our recommendation...train cheerleaders to play volleyball or the players to cheer. Can’t wait to see the squad bust out the megaphones and pyramids in the courtroom! (“Objection!”, “Sustained. The jury will disregard the witnesses’ last cheer.”). A judge later decided it was not, in fact, a sport because it was “underdeveloped”. Ummmm...has Hizzoner taken a peek at the sidelines lately???!! A preponderance of steroids and implants make cheerleading anything but “underdeveloped”!

Until next August, we leave our readers with the traditional Irish blessing...”May the road dog rise up to beat you.” (Something like that!)

Air Forecast One has gone “wheels up”!

Vindy's 2010-11 Bowl Predictions: Part II

2010-12-26T13:59:00.000-08:00

A woman in New York was recently profiled as knowing no fear because of a brain disorder. No fear???!!! Ha! Wait’ll she gets a load of....

THE WEBER KID’S 2010-11 BOWL PREDICTIONS: PART II(As filmed in the format of “The Blair Witch Project”! AP rankings; lines of December 26, over/under totals in parentheses)

DEC. 31
MEINEKE CAR CARE (@ Charlotte, NC):
Clemson over South Florida giving 5 ½ (40 ½): Bulls went 4-7 against the line and struggled mightily on offense vs. I-A squads (averaging just over 20 ppg [down 3.5 ppg from 2009] and settling for teens or single-digits five times). They did edge Miami and Louisville on the road, but also barely beat Rutgers by 1. Have to consider the offensive production a disappointment, given 9 returning starters on that side of the ball, including entire O-line. Sixth consecutive bowl for USF (3-1 SU/ATS in last four) and Coach Skip Holtz took ECU to four bowls (losing 3, covering 2). Tigers lost in OT at finalist Auburn and wilted to lose 5 games by 26 total points. Both clubs are stout defensively...only the Gamecocks posted more than 16 in Clemson’s final seven tilts, only three South Florida foes tallied more than 21. CU had a number of close losses to better teams than those faced by the Bulls...Tigers 20 USF 12

BRUT SUN (@ El Paso, TX):
Notre Dame over Miami taking 3 (47): Brian Kelly has the Irish making progress...seven outright wins and three losses by 4 or less this season. Unfortunately, however, a pair of those defeats came at South Bend. Irish did cover 3of 4 getting points, winning two and losing the other in extra frames. ‘Canes spent much of the year in the Top 25, but lost 3 of last 5 to fall out of the rankings, were just 4-7 ATS overall (6th straight losing spread season) and have dropped bowls in each of the last four seasons (three as chalk). A clemency board in Tallahassee recently, at the behest of Florida governor Charlie Crist [no relation to the ND quarterback [who, BTW, won’t play in this one]) gave Jim Morrison a posthumous pardon for dropping trou and exposing his...uh...Doors...to the crowd at a Miami concert over 30 years ago. Vindy may have to wait for 31 years for the Guv to give post-demise forgiveness for picking... Notre Dame 23 Pelicans 16

AUTOZONE LIBERTY(@ Memphis, TN):
Georgia over Central Florida giving 6 ½ (55 ½): Joja’, with three early conference losses before September ended and an early October loss at unheralded Colorado, fell quickly off the radar, but took 5 of final 7 to get here. ‘Dawgs did however give up at least 31 in four of last five. Georgia can boast four straight bowl victories and covers and did fare much better with the return of Ahman Green. Knights posted 10-3 straight-up record with losses by 7 to NC State, 4 at K-State and 10 to Southern Miss. UCF allowed 33 points a game over three-game stretch in November. First choice is the “over”. A former UCF alum held her Playboy photo shoot in the Golden Knights locker room. The Central Florida quarterback initially lined up in the shotgun, but thought better of it and decided to take a few snaps from under centerfold!...UGA 41 Central Florida 31

CHICK-FIL-A (@ Atlanta, GA):
#19 South Carolina over #23 Florida State giving 3 (54 ½): Poultry looked poised to have a special year and made the SEC conference title game, but lost three of five to ranked opponents, so they’re not quite over the hump (we note, however, that a pair of those defeats came vs. title finalist Auburn). Gamehens attending 5th bowl in 6 years (1-3 SU/ATS). Injuns ran off three straight wins to close out the regular season, but still ended up an 11-point victim of Virginia Tech in ACC title match en route to current 2-5 ATS skid. ‘Noles won nine games this season and lost a pair to BC and NC State by total of 6 points. FSU has covered six consecutive post-season appearances, taking 4 outright, and was the dog in four of ‘em...Fightin’ Fowl 31 FSU 24

JAN. 1
TICKETCITY (@ Dallas, TX):
Texas Tech (GASP!) over Northwestern giving 9 ½ (60 ½): Tech, now under Tommy Tuberville...who was let go by Auburn, continues good pace vs. non-conference teams (3-1 SU/2-1 ATS this year), though it has beaten the spread just once in past five bowls (3-2 SU). Raiders have won the money in two outta’ tries laying at least 9 ½ in 2010. Northwestern has dropped two straight bowls, both in overtime. ‘Cats grabbed 7 victories this year, including shocker over Iowa, but promising season withered upon loss of QB Dan Persa to injury and NW was dismal 2-8-1 ATS overall. Does it really matter which side we take here???!!! Queue up Elvis...”You look like an angellllllllll .....walk like an angelllllllllll.....block like an angelllllllllll....but Vin got wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise....you’re Red Raiders in disguiiiise!”...Tech 30 NW 19

CAPITAL ONE (@ Orlando, FL):
#7 Michigan State over #15 Alabama taking 10 (52 ½): Spartans have lost three straight bowls, covering just one, but this year’s squad lost only a single game (by 31 at Iowa). Tide’s strength has been its defense. Only 4 opponents hit the board for more than 13 points. Sparty scored less than 28 just twice this season. ‘Bama’s offense, rushing and passing, finished in the top five of the SEC. As noted in Part One of our bowl selections, teams laying 10 or more cover less than 50% and lose better than a third of those tilts outright. Hawaii’s already fallen. Will Tide have forgotten about letting Auburn off a major hook in the finale?...”Roll Tide” 27 MSU 24

OUTBACK (@ Tampa, FL):
Florida over Penn State giving 7 ½ (48): The change at quarterback for the alma mater came way too late and Lions never came through in any of the big games on the schedule. Gators had an off-year as well (just 8th in scoring in the SEC, 10th in offensive yardage and 2nd most penalized in the conference), but defeated five bowlers anyway. State’s been a strong play in last five bowls, winning 4 outright and are getting points for 4th time in past five. Crocs also have won and covered 4 of their last five bowls, but covered just 1 of 3 non-conference games this season after enjoying 20-4 ATS run the previous six seasons. BTW, anagrams of Urban Meyer include “Yer a Number”, “Meaner Ruby”, “Rub Me Yearn” and our personal fave... “A Merry Bun E”. No wonder he’s retiring!...Florida 27 PSU 17

KONICA MINOLTA GATOR (@ Jacksonville, FL):
#21 Mississippi State over Michigan giving 5 (60): Bulldogs recorded 8 wins and had 2 close home defeats to Auburn and Arkansas (in double OT). Four of their wins came by 8 or less. Wolverines opened 3-0 SU/ATS then finished on the wrong side of the spread eight straight times, including 0-4 SU/ATS skid vs. ranked teams, losing by an average of 19 points per game in those. RichRod is getting Big Blew to the bowls for first time since 2007, but a defeat may signal his departure. UM has gone just 10-24 ATS under Rodriguez and the scoring defense ranks 101st nationally (33.8 ppg), second-worst among bowlers behind just East Carolina ...Mississippi State 41 Michigan 27

ROSE Presented by CITI (@ Pasadena, CA):
#4 Wisconsin over #3 Texas Christian taking 3 (58 ½): Finally....another chance to see how a BCS-buster really stacks up against one of the best teams in the country. The key match-up will be in the trenches with Wisky’s big, physical offensive line against Toads’ defense. Badgers only defeat was by 10 at Michigan State and Cheeseheads are currently on 6-0 spread run. BCS would love a romp by Wisconsin and the Badgers obviously aren’t shy about running up the score. UW has split its last 8 bowls straight up, covering five. Froggies beat Oregon State by 9 on a neutral field and ripped Baylor 45-10 at home to account for their only previous games this year vs. teams from Big Six conferences. Toads ran for 39 touchdowns. Badgers allowed just seven scores on the ground. TCU’s perfect season comes to an end....Wisconsin 20 TCU 17

TOSTITOS FIESTA (@ Glensdale, AZ):
#9 Oklahoma over #25 Connecticut giving 17 (55): Huskies are here as Big Least champs but did not face an opponent ranked in the Top 25 at the time...perhaps an indictment of the type of season that their conference had in 2010. By contrast, Sooners knocked off four of the five ranked teams they played. Still, Oklahoma won its three previous neutral site games this season by 2,8 and 3 respectively and have been poor in the post-season, losing five of last seven bowls and 0-4 ATS the past four years. UConn is decent defensively, averaging 19.8 points-against per game while letting 3 teams post more than 27, and did finish second in the conference in scoring offense (26.9 ppg). Sooners QB Landry Jones is the second-leading passer in the country (329.9 yards per game, 35-11 passing touchdown-to-INT ratio) and has been sacked just 11 times. Dogs could be out-manned...OK 38 Huskies 17

JAN. 3
FED-EX ORANGE (@ Miami, FL):
#12 Virginia Tech over #5 Stanford taking 3 (57 ½): Trees were a good road squad, winning 5 of 6 away from Palo Alto, covering 4. The lone loss?...at Oregon...by three touchdowns. Cardinal can play D as well, pitching 3 shutouts, two in the last five games vs. conference opponents. With Jim Harbaugh at the helm, Stanford continues to improve the win-loss record. Cards won 9 of 11 by double-digits (by 2 at USC, by at Arizona State). Just the second bowl since 2002 for Stanford. Tech beat three of four ranked opponents by at least 11 points and lost opener to Boise State on neutral ground by just 3. Hokies get points in a bowl for just the third time in eleven appearances. Frank Beamer’s coached in 17 post-season tilts, winning 8. Harbaugh’s been to one....and lost it. Stanford’s strength is passing. VT has allowed 15 aerial scores while picking off 22 throws. Neither team permits much scoring (17.8 by Stanford, 19.1 by Tech). Beamer needs to say just 2 little words to his team pre-game...”James Madison”...VT 24 Trees 20

JAN. 4
ALLSTATE SUGAR (@ N’awlins, Weeziana):
#8 Arkansas over #6 Ohio State taking 3 ½ (58): OSU hasn’t beaten an SEC team in nine tries. Buckeyes did go 9-2-1 against the line but just 1-2-1 in only four games outside Da’ Shoe. Buckeyes #4 pass defense will have to corral Arkansas’ #4 passing offense. Hogs will have to play more disciplined than they did in drawing 97 penalty flags. Pigs were also money-makers for bettors, going 9-2 ATS and suffered just two defeats all year...by 4 to ‘Bama and by 22 at Auburn. QB Ryan Mallett transferred to Arkansas from Michigan. Wonder if that’ll just stoke the fire even more...OSU 33 Arkansas 30

JAN. 6
GODADDY.COM (@ Mobile, AL):
Miami-Ohio over Middle Tennessee State giving 1 (48 ½): MTSU was yet-another team to win three straight at the end to reach the post-season. Blue Raiders somehow managed to beat co-Stun Belt champion Florida International during that stretch. Middle Tennessee won by 10 over Southern Miss in a 2009 bowl, but that squad had ten wins. Miami-Ohio didn’t know it at the time, but mere 22-point loss in opener would portend the rest of Florida’s season. Redhawks went 8-5 ATS and toppled Northern Illinois as 17-point dogs. Nice turnaround for Miami-O following 1-11 year in 2009. MTSU gave up 51 points to Arkansas State. Miami did likewise...at Mizzou. The MAC team improved its points-scored this year by 4 ½ per game, while lowering points-against by 11 and have good depth on the roster. BTW, there’s no bowl swag,, but players from each team do get to take a turn with Danica Patrick...uh ... left turn...in a race car! (Oh, the hell with it...who are we kiddin’???!! Schwing!!!!!)...Miami-Ohio 27 MTSU 17

JAN. 7
AT&T COTTON (@ Dallas, TX):
#11 Louisiana State over #18 Texas A&M giving 1 (49): Bengals have won 4 of 6 games vs. ranked opponents (facing 4 of them away from Baton Rouge), but 28.9 ppg scoring average is deceptive given offensive yardage that came in 92nd in the country, so it’s been the defense that’s kept State competitive. A&M has flourished since switching to Ryan Tannehill at quarterback. Aggies bowl history recently has been horrible, producing no wins or covers in last four post-seasons. TAMU scored 25 passing touchdowns with just 12 interceptions, but gave up 35 sacks. Only 11 teams let their quarterback get dirty more times than that. Despite stout defenses on both sides, 5 of LSU’s games exceeded this total, while 7of A&M’s games did so. Tough call and frankly, we’d like to pass altogether, but with a gun to our head, we think the Tigers find a way to pull it out and we tilt a tad to the “over” ... LSU 27 TAMU 24

JAN. 8
BBVA COMPASS (@Birmingham, AL)
Kentucky over Pittsburgh taking 3 (52): We can’t think of a single reason to watch this one. Pitt coach Dave Wannstedt has been canned and Kentucky’s first-string quarterback has been suspended. Like Penn State, the Panthers did not find a way to win the important games, as evidenced by OT loss at Utah to start the year. Kentucky staggered late, taking just 2 of last 5 (1-3 ATS and a win over I-AA Charleston Southern) and struggling badly in SEC play (upset of South Carolina notwithstanding). Wildcats have won 3 of last 4 bowls (2-2 ATS). KY went just 6-6 straight-up in Joker Phillips first season. Back-to-back 7-6 SU seasons got former Kentucky coach Rich Brooks kicked to the curb. As an olive branch for recent events, North Korea has offered to send 300 “carefully selected ‘fans’” to cheer politely at this game...Kentucky 16 Pitt 13

JAN. 9
KRAFT FIGHT HUNGER (@ San Francisco, CA):
Boston College over #13 Nevada taking 8 (55): No swag for participants in this one either, just pictures and profiles of impoverished kids in third-world countries! If ya had told Reno coach Chris Ault that his Wolfpack would lose just one game, not to Boise State, and end up in the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl, would he have believed you???!!! How badly do ya think UNR would like to have the Hawaii game back right about now???!!! The signature win that ruined Boise’s BCS berth was, of course, lucky....but credit UNR for staying close enough to be in a position to win it in OT. Nevada hasn’t been a good play in the post-season, losing 4of 5. It did win all of its games, other than Fresno and Boise, by at least two touchdowns. Golden Beagles were virtually non-existent the first half of the year, but came on strong to win four of last five (and beat the line in 5 of final 7), allowing a total only 59 total points. BC has split bowls SU the past 4 years and was favored in 3 of ‘em (covering none). It’ll be up to Eagles scoring defense (19th nationally at 19 ½ ppg) to rein in potent Reno offense (42.6 ppg and 535 yards per game). An upset by BC wouldn’t shock us, but we’ll make the conservative pick...’Pack 33 BC 27

JAN. 10
CITI NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP (@ Glendale, AZ):
#2 Oregon over #1 Auburn taking 3 (74 ½): Admittedly, the choice is prejudiced just a little by Vindy’s preseason futures bet on the Mallards (18-1), but the selection is not without merit. Tigers did have some near-misses (OT vs. Clemson, at Mississippi State, at Kentucky and the miracle at Tuscaloosa). Ducks, beak and shoulders above the rest of the PAC-10 at 49.3 ppg, will be the most prolific offense that Auburn has met and was challenged just once (by Cal and its General Hospital act). War Eagle covered three of four road opportunities. Mallards covered 3 of 6, winning all of ‘em by at least 11 points. Neither side will likely run well against the opposing D. Drakes have taken 8 of last 9 vs. Top 25. Ducks allow 18.9 ppg, Tigers slightly more at 24.5 ppg. Alabama’s Mark Ingram broke the Heisman curse last year after four straight post-season games were lost by the award-winner’s team (Texas QB Colt McCoy was lost early to injury though). Vindy’s spies say Auburn plans to use a pair of defensive tackles named Pierce and Honeycutt to slow any rhythm gained by Oregon (and if we were Gene Chizik, we’d send the team captains out for the coin-toss dressed in scrubs and lab coats!)...Mighty Ducks 34 Auburn 30

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKSExperiencing paranoia following the recent FBI raid, your felonious forecaster was arrested after a toy store rampage spent gouging out the eyes of Barbie dolls...until learning the camera of the Barbie Video Girl was hidden inside the necklace! (Vin, did however, originally consider just drawing little smiley faces on the pupils with an ultra fine-tip Sharpie, but has simply watched too many episodes of Criminal Minds!)

A line of Missouri -2 ½ over Iowa (and a total of 47) has been posted on the Insight Bowl (off the board when Vindy published his pre-New Year’s Eve picks). So be it. We’ll stick with the original call and take the Hawkeyes with the points.

Hogs Sports Radio reporter Renee Gork got fired by her employer in August after sporting a Gators hat to a post-game conference and inadvertently annoying Arkansas Razorbacks coach Bobby Petrino. Likewise, a Las Vegas Review-Journal sports columnist received a pink slip for producing a microphone from inside a Phil Steele tote bag during a post-forecast Q&A with the Vindicator. Ironically, the prestigious prognosticator was wearing a pair of boxers autographed by his nationally-known forecasting rival at the time!

Thirty-five (count ‘em...35!!!!) post-season match-ups this season and not one damn Vuvuzela Bowl sponsored by BP! What’s up with ‘dat???!!!

Will the halftime speeches of the Kraft Hunger Bowl include: “Get back out there! If you don’t wanna’ play in this bowl, there are plenty of starving kids in Africa who’d love to be in the post-season!”

“Every idiot with ‘Vindy’s Picks’ on his lips should be boiled in his own pudding.”...Ebenezer Scrooge

Five Ohio State players, including Terrell Pryor, have been busted for getting tattoos at a discount because of the player status. Hmmm...whaddaya’ suppose a heart surrounding the name of your coach (or your agent) goes for these days, anyway???!!

MTSU QB Dwight Dasher was suspended early in the year after charges of duping an elderly man outta’ money the athlete eventually bet in a poker game. We just wanna’ know one thing....did he go “all in”???!!!!

JoePa had laser vision surgery last January and no longer needs his glasses. One pair of his trademark Coke-bottles was auctioned-off for charity. A second pair went to the Smithsonian and a third set will be kept on-hand at Palo Alto in case the Hubble Telescope needs emergency lens-replacement! Who knows...there might be a new star discovered and tagged “Alpha-Paterno!” Meanwhile, Penn State is now hawking photo-shopped pics of Coach sporting Geordi glasses, Cyclops’ shades or John Lennon specs!

TCU is building a new stadium that will be half-to-three-quarters completed when next season starts. The Toads will be able to play in it before completion. At what? Arena League dimensions???!!!

Twenty-six Tennessee football players were allowed into a bar free gratis while others had to pay a cover charge. Here in Sin City, we simply call that Ladies Night!

If the military wanted to keep quiet who among themselves played football, would the policy be called “Don’t Mask, Don’t Tell”???!!!!

Ralph “The Fridge”Friedgen has been given his walking papers, effective the end of the Military Bowl. If he’s replaced by Vern Troyer, will they nickname the new Maryland coach... “The Mini-Bar”???!!!!

NY Jets coach Rex Ryan did not openly pooh-pooh allegations that his missus has appeared in foot-fetish videos. Gives a whole new connotation to film “footage”, don’t it???!! Higher-ups in the Jets organization have pledged their “full-support” to Ryan. Sounds more like the harbinger of an endorsement deal with Dr. Scholl’s or Pay-for-Less shoes! Would a thorough review of Coach’s video library reveal a preponderance of kickers booting field-goals minus their socks and cleats???!!!

Star light, star bright
First spread I see tonite
Wish I may, wish I might
Win this pick I make tonite!

BTW, TBS ran 24 hours of “A Christmas Story” over the weekend. We only caught 23 hours of it and still need to watch the final 60 minutes that we taped to find out how it ends. No spoilers, please! (BTW, there’s no “I” in “team” because Ralphie shot it out with his Red Ryder [which sounds dangerously close to “Red Raider”! GASP!!!!]).

Vindy’s Best Bowl Bets Part II: Georgia-Central Florida “over” 55 ½, Mississippi State -5 over Michigan, Miami-Ohio -1 over Middle Tennessee State, Kentucky-Pittsburgh “under” 52

Vindicator hopes all his faithful readers had a very Mary Carey Christmas! Pass on Earth, Goodwill Toward Linemen. On top of ‘dat, we extend...Crimson Tidings of Southern Comfort and joy! May all the wide-receivers of your choice drop their balls as we ring in the New Year! Be sure to visit us one more time a few days after completion of the BCS Championship game to check Vindy’s bowl recap and publication of his leftover “hash”!

Vindy's 2010-11 Bowl Predictions: Part I

2010-12-16T21:25:00.000-08:00

SECRET ANTI-WEBER WEAPON UNVEILED

SAN FRANCISCO, California (MSNBC)...Local FBI Analysis of evidence taken during a recent national sweep related to the early-summer uncovering of the deep-cover mission established by Russian spies coincidentally revealed an undercover plot of another kind. A doll recovered from the home of the Vegas Vindicator was determined to be a limited-series Barbie Video Girl, previously-thought to be available only to law-enforcement agencies. It turns out that the doll was actually being used by Las Vegas sportsbooks to monitor and pre-empt the fab forecaster’s prediction processes and to get insider information before his picks were even published each week. The devious subversion would help explain Vindicator’s wagering struggles this season. The Weber Kid told authorities that while he thought the doll, received as a “comp” from an undisclosed casino, was odd, given that other gamblers often received free meals, hotel room stays and 2-for-1buffets; he was “grateful for having something tangible” to show for his efforts!

Having cleansed our residence of all possible unwanted surveillance instruments named Babushka Barbie, Comrade Ken and Stalingrad Skip, we feel comfortable in releasing....

THE WEBER KID’S 2010-11 BOWL PREDICTIONS
(AP rankings; lines of December 16, over/under totals in parentheses)

DEC.18
NEW MEXICO (@ Albuquerque, N.M.):
Brigham Young over Texas-El Paso giving 11 ½ (50): Mormons finished with five conference wins, which woulda’ been six had Utah not blocked the game-winning FG. Cougars have gone 3-2 SU/ATS in past five bowls, but faced PAC-10 teams in all of those. BYU’s 1-3 ATS non-conference record is reflective of early-season issues that have been corrected and BYU has to be happy playing the post-season somewhere other than Sin City for the first time in 6 years (hmmm...maybe that was the plan all along!). UTEP is in its first bowl since 2005 and did beat C-USA champ SMU in early November, but lost at home to bottom-feeder Tulane and were 1-4 away from home. Miners do have a lot of seniors on offense and despite a rebuilt defense, yielded a reasonable 25.4 points per game ...BYU 31 UTEP 13

UDROVE HUMANITARIAN (@ Boise, ID):
Northern Illinois over Fresno State giving 1 ½ (59): Huskies are off disappointing loss in MAC title game after bull-dozing its way through conference play. Dogs are also under an interim coach after Jerry Kill bolted for Minnesota. NIU defense is solid, allowing only 19 points per game and 3 of 4 opponents who scored at least 26 left the building with victories. Fresno went 8-4 SU this season, but most of their big wins came at home and they lost badly in three of four defeats. FSU will play its 10th post-season tilt in last 11 seasons, have more experience, more depth, a more-experienced coach and lost by just 1at Reno. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com notes the team getting points in Fresno’s last nine post-season matches has won the bowl outright. Fresno just suspended its second-leading tackler. That will benefit NIU’s powerful offense. We’ll buck the trend...NIU35 Fresno 21

R&L CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS (@ N’awlins, Weeziana):
Ohio over Troy taking 2 ½ (57): Trojans got a piece of the Fun Belt championship but are definitely not as stout as they had been, going just 4-8 against the line, breaking a four-year string of winning spread records. Troy beat Bowling Green in non-conference play early and did lose by just a FG at Oklahoma State, but were later crushed at South Carolina. Bobblecats won 8 games, went 7-4 ATS and blew a chance to play for the MAC title when they got surprisingly smoked at Kent State. Including loss at Ohio State, OU lost just 2 of 6 games away from Athens. Trojans playing 5th bowl in seven years and lost by 3 last year to Central Michigan with a better squad. ‘Cats should run fairly well vs. Troy, who’s in the bottom-third nationally in run defense. Trojans will air it out..Ohio 31 Troy 24

DEC. 21
BEEF O’ BRADY’S (@ St. Petersburg, FL):
Southern Miss over Louisville taking 3 (57): Cardinals returning to the bowl season for first time since 2006 and went 3-1 ATS this year as chalk. Best victory came at home over Big Least title-holder Connecticut, but Louisville staggered to losses in three of five following that game to close out the regular season. Once a strength for Southern Miss, Golden Eagles scoring D gave up 41 or more to three of last five foes, but scored less than 31 just twice en route to 8-4 SU overall record. USM could actually be 10-2 but lost two of three games decided by a single point. Louisville is good on defense, limiting all but 4 opponents to less than three touchdowns and beat SoMiss 25-23 in 2009. Cards converted just over 39% on third-down, in part due to being the most-penalized team in the conference (94 flags). Eagles drew nearly as many hankies (92), but converted better than half of their third-downs...Eagles 34 Redbirds 27

DEC. 22
MAACO LAS VEGAS (@ Vegas, Baby!):
#20 Utah over #10 Boise State taking 17 (61): The roof of the Metrodome fell in this past weekend. It probably only felt that way for Boise after the loss to Nevada that derailed a major BCS bowl opportunity. Will Broncos try to re-set the tone for a new start or just play out the string here? Boise’s non-conference wins are obviously well-known (by 3 over Virginia Tech on a neutral site and by 13 at home vs. Oregon State). State hit the scoreboard for 50+ five times in 2010, while the Utes floundered down the stretch. Collectively, these clubs beat 7 of 9 nine opponents going to bowls this year. Utah has been money-making 6-1 ATS in past 7 bowls (now playing in 8th straight post-season). Based on spreads at the time Vindy published his last three years of bowl predictions, double-digit chalk has gone just 6-7 ATS and five of those spread-losers also lost outright. Utes would put PAC-10 on notice with an upset or at least a close loss...’Taters 31 Utes 19

DEC. 23
SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA (@ San Diego, CA):
Navy over SAN DIEGO STATE taking 3 ½ (60): LOCK OF DA’ BOWLS. “Home” game for the Aztecs, who took five of six in San Diego this season, but with a naval base nearby, the Middies will have plenty of support in the stands. Ensigns continued the blazing ATS pace by the chalk over the past few weeks, despite letting Army hang around almost long enough to get the cover earlier this month. SDSU boasts an 8-win season and lost by only 3 at Mizzou and again at BYU, as well as recording a 5-point loss at Utah. Second-year coach Brady Hoke has SDSU moving in the right direction, reaching their first post-season since 1998, and took Ball State to bowls in two of his final three years there (Cardinals lost both rather badly however). Middies finished the year on 5-2 ATS run, have won 2 of 3 neutral site games to-date (2-1 ATS) and could register back-to-back ten-win seasons with the victory. Aztecs have seen the option...in 2-point loss to Air Force...but Navy QB Ricky Dobbs can throw it with precision as needed...Navy 27 SDSU 23

DEC. 24
SHERATON HAWAII (@ Honolulu, HI):
Tulsa over #24 HAWAII taking 10 ½ (73): Golden Hurricane just missed a C-USA title game berth courtesy of earlier 3-point loss to SMU in Dallas, but get a trip to paradise for their troubles. The “over” looks like the play here, with Tulsa scoring 41 or more six times and Hawaii doing likewise seven times. The defensive edge goes to the Warriors, who held four teams to 10 or less (though we note those four were lower-tier WAC clubs and I-AA Charleston Southern). Tulsa has typical unimpressive C-USA stop-squad. UH beat the spread 10 of 12 tries, missing covers only in losses to Colorado and Boise. Tulsa stumbled early, dropping of three of first six games SU. Two of three came by total of 5 points, but lost at Oklahoma State by 37. ‘Cane returns to the bowls for 5th time in six years (missing last season) and went 3-1 ATS in the previous four. ‘Bows covered all four chances this year laying double-digits and led the country in passing with more than 5000 yards (only team to put up that many)...Hawaii 44 Tulsa 37

DEC. 26
LITTLE CAESAR’S PIZZA (@ Detroit, MI)
Toledo over Florida International giving 1 ½ (56): Invoking a Little Caesar’s slogan from years ago, we say...”Pick ‘em, pick ‘em!” Mudhens..er...um... Rockets....looked stranded on the moon early with 41-2 loss to Arizona to open the year and a subsequent 5-point home loss to Wyoming, but would win 5 of final 6 (4-2 ATS) to make first post-season appearance in five years. We tip our helmet to ex-Miami assistant Mario Cristobal for getting his Golden Panthers to their first bowl in school history in just his fourth year as head coach. FIU did not take any of its four non-conference matches, but split them ATS. Rematch of 2009's win by Toledo (41-31). We lean a bit toward the “over” given lotsa’ new faces on defense for International...Spaceships 34 Panthers 24

DEC. 27
ADVOCARE V100 INDEPENDENCE (@ Shreveport, LA):
Air Force over Georgia Tech giving 2 ½ (56): Both teams run some version of the option and points could be at a premium. Pilots got derailed when their starting full-back went down, suffering a three-game skid in mid-season, but USAF finished with three convincing victories over Army, New Mexico and UNLV (3-0 ATS). Bees were disappointing this season, posting lowest number of victories since 2004, and squeaked into the bowls at 6-6 with no signature wins. ‘Jackets not strong play in the bowls, going just 1-4 ATS while losing all five outright since 2005 with better clubs. In its defense, Tech did have an ugly road schedule, losing 4 of 6 and were defeated badly by NC State and Miami at home. Bees allowed just one more point per game, but scored a touchdown less per game. First time as bowl chalk this decade for Air Force, who’ve gone just 1-2 ATS in previous three...Flight Platoon 24 Bugs 20

DEC. 28
CHAMPS SPORTS (@ Orlando, FL):
NC State over #22 West Virginia taking 2 ½ (48 ½): Mounties went 7-3-1 against the number en route to toppling half of the six 2010 season bowl contestants they faced (4-2 ATS). Wolfpack went 8-3 ATS and knocked five of nine going to the post-season this year. State scored a minimum of 27 points in all but one game and plays in 4th straight bowl (winning 3 of ‘em outright). ‘Eers have split the two post-season trips under Coach Stewart, dropping both to the line...NC State 28 WVU 24

INSIGHT (@ Tempe, AZ):
#14 Missouri vs. Iowa (OFF): Prior to being taken off the board due the drug-related arrest of Iowa’s top pass-catcher, the total was 47 and we would have first looked to play the “under”, with the Hawkeyes and the Tigers each keeping six of their opponents, respectively, at 13 or less and 8 of Iowa’s games totaling less than this number, while six of Missouri tallied under 47as well. Mizzou ended the year winning three consecutive games. Birds, on the hand, dropped 4 of their last 6 and nearly went 0-fer-November. Tigers got buried by Navy in 2009 bowl. They did belt Texas A&M 30-9 earlier. Could be a nice QB duel of Blaine Gabbert vs. Ricky Stanzi. Will Iowa show up? We think they will....Iowa 23 Mizzou 17

DEC. 29
MILITARY Presented By NORTHROP GRUMMANN (@ Washington, DC):
Maryland over East Carolina giving 7 (68 ½): Terps compiled 8 outright wins, including finale over then-ranked NC State, but have been all over the board offensively...scoring as few as 7 and as many as 62 (twice!). Maryland won 3 of 6 games outside College Park and got points in five of ‘em. We’ll give a nod to the “over” due to ECU’s porous defense (allowing 42 or more nine...count ‘em nine...times!) and potent offense. Pirates playing sixth straight bowl, but are under first year coach (though he was an assistant at East Carolina before this). The Fridge celebrates an excellent rebound from 2009's 2-10 campaign...Box Turtles 45 ECU 31

TEXAS (@ Houston, TX):
Illinois over Baylor taking 1 ½ (62 ½): Robert Griffin put up the 17th highest passing yardage total (with nice 21-8 TD-to-INT ratio) and Bears got bowl-eligible for first time since 1994, then dropped their final three. While scoring at least 30 in all but 3 games (twice in two of the last three), keeping foes outta’ the end zone was the problem (allowed 42 or better in half a dozen). Illini head coach Ron Zook has been to the post-season four times...and hasn’t pocketed any of ‘em. This is just the second winning season for Zook at Champaign and frankly, he may be gone even if he breaks the bowl skid and wins here. Illini went 7-4 ATS and got the offense running in the second half of the year. Defensively, they allowed 20 ppg (67 in crazy loss to the Wolverines notwithstanding). Baylor toppled just one bowler (K-State in forties shoot-out), but went 4-1 laying considerably more points than this. “Over” might be the way to go...Illini 29 Bears 27

VALERO ALAMO (@ San Antonio, TX):
#16 Oklahoma State over Arizona giving 6 (66): Wildcats did well with a minimal number of returnees on defense this year, holding 4 of first 6 opponents to single-digits. ‘Cats also won all three non-conference games, including victory over Iowa, but injury to Nick Foles put a major crimp in their season and Arizona’s last win came before prior to Halloween. Cowboys boast one of the best offenses in the country and AZ was smoked by the better scoring teams on their schedule (losing by 25 to Stanford, 19 to Oregon). State knocked off six bowlers, all except Texas A&M by this many (8-3-1 ATS overall), and dropped a tough one to Oklahoma. Unless Foles comes back strong... OKSU 38 AZ 24

DEC. 30
BELL HELICOPTER ARMED FORCES (@ Ft. Worth, TX):
Southern Methodist over Army giving 7 ½ (52): As noted higher, the Black Knights weren’t blown out by Navy only because of the Ensigns miscues. Army passes were thrown outta’ bounds or dropped and the kicking game was deserving of friendly fire. Fourth neutral site tilt on the year for Army (0-3 SU/1-2 ATS). SMU needs to keep the Cadets at or below 18 (West Pointers rung up 20 or more each game, except final two, which totaled 20 point output). Second bowl for the Ponies in three years under June Jones (blasting a pretty good Reno squad 45-10 last season) and SMU could record back-to-back eight-win years with the victory. Mustangs stop the run fairly well at 141 ypg and have seen Navy’s similar offense...SMU 27 Not Quite in Cadence 17

NEW ERA PINSTRIPE (@ NEW YORK, NY)
Kansas State over Syracuse (PK)(47 ½): We like the “under” in this Yankee Stadium skirmish and “Era” could in fact be an acronym for “earned run average”-like points. Syracuse, in the first half of 2010, looked like they might have a special season, winning five of seven to open, including road victories at Akron, South Florida and West Virginia. But two of those wins were over FCS teams and a mid-November win came against ready-to-quit Rutgers. K-State stumbled into the post-season, falling in four of final six. One of the wins came via 49-41 trackmeet at Fun Belt’s North Texas. ‘Cuse ended up 2nd in most defensive categories in the Big Least, but 6th or 7th in nearly all offensive stats. KSU gets the edge in strength-of-schedule and bowl-coaching experience. Orange are young at the skills and Doug Marrone has not led a team in the post-season...Kansas State 27 Orange 13

MUSIC CITY (@ Nashville, TN):
Tennessee over North Carolina taking 2 (50 ½): Vols started by often finishing in the teens on the scoreboard en route to early 1-4-1 spread record, but closed out the schedule with four consecutive victories (3 vs. SEC clubs) and five ATS wins in a row, posting a half-century or more in two of last three. Tarheels were under siege by the NCAA much of the year and were inconsistent. Rocky Top won 3 of 5 away from home (covering 4, either as a DD dog or laying big points), but are in 4th bowl in five seasons under third coach. Which Carolina team shows up? The one that beat Florida State in Tallahassee or the one that edged I-AA William & Mary and Duke by 4 and 5, respectively? We expect the latter...Tennessee 19 UNC 17

BRIDGEPOINT EDUCATION HOLIDAY (@ San Diego, CA):
#17 Nebraska over Washington giving 13 ½ (53): Rare redux of a regular season melee. No dis to UDUB coach Steve Sarkisian, but Bo Pelini has better talent to put on the field and has done a better job getting something out of them. Huskies do have some momentum, ending the schedule with a hat-trick after a three-game pounding by Arizona, Stanford and the Ducks...to the average tune of 46-10. Big Dread wilted down the stretch, but still fell just three-points short of a BCS berth. Corn Cobs have won the money in three of prior four years (with 3 decided by 5or fewer), including 33-0 whitewash of Arizona in this same venue in 2009. Extra time to heal will be good for Nebraska’s Taylor Martinez. Can’t see Washington closing the gap that quickly from September’s 56-21 loss to NU...Children of the Corn 42 Seattle’s Best 20

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, your violated Vindicator has since circled the wagons and now uses the services of his GI Joe, Cabbage Patch Kid, Buzz Lightyear, Action Jackson (raise yer hand if yer old enuff to remember Action Jackson!) and a sock monkey to form an impenetrable wall around himself and his in-progress picks to obstruct the bookie’s view!

Speaking of walls, Vindy went to the sportsbook-in-question and took a page from possibly-ex-Jets-assisant-coach Sal Alosi, asking several other sports gamblers to stand in a certain spot, forcing a bookie to run around them while Weber stuck out his knee to trip him!!

The Military Bowl this year does not feature any of the usual academies and all three are enjoying post-season outings. But hey...pirates are evil, para-military navy-like groups, right???!!! Close enough.

In June, Nebraska’s top wide-out Niles Paul was charged with possession by a minor and publicly takin’ a leak. The alcohol issue was unknown until a flash of light exposed the bottle in his hand as he urinated on an electric cattle-fence!

Before the ball drops on Times Square, we note that 2010 is the 50th anniversary of The Flintstones. To that end, we simply quip, “Yabba-dabba-Duke!” (BTW, Dino was a Tarheels fan!). Hmmm...Fred & Wilma & Barney & Betty....wasn’t that a movie in the 60's? Oh wait...that was Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice!)

Miley Cyrus was caught hittin’ the bong recently. Apparently, Hannah Montana is not only a pop star...she’s a candidate for the women’s Olympic swim team!

Vindy’s 2010 Bowl Season Best Bets (thru 12/30): Season: 28-32-1 (.467)
HAWAII-Tulsa over 73, Illinois +1 ½ over Baylor, Tennessee-North Carolina under 50 ½

Come on back in about a week as we offer picks on the rest of the bowls, more best bets and better “hash” (we promise!).

Vindy's Picks Army-Navy 2010

2010-12-08T18:28:00.000-08:00

Navy over Army giving 7: Nice to know that both the Middies and the Cadets are off to bowls following this one this year. First post-season game for Army since ‘96. Have to figure a plus-11 turnover ratio had something to do with it. Soldiers were plus-five last season and in the red in 2008. West-Pointers have six straight-up victories, including victories over I-AA VMI, as well as against Tulane and Eastern Michigan, both on the road, but the best win perhaps came by two touchdowns at Duke, who beat Navy. Black Knights also lost by three at the base camp to now-ranked Hawaii. Middies have certainly been the money play in this series, covering 10 of the past 13 years, battering the Soldiers in most seasons, but won just 17-3 in 2009 as 16-point chalk. Army’s last outright triumph over the Sailors came in 2001. Army losses in 2010 campaign have been by double-digits, including 20 to Air Force and 24 to Notre Dame squad on a neutral site trying to make a bowl. Navy 1-1 SU/ATS in neutral site tilts on the year, belting the aforementioned Leprechauns 35-17 at the Meadowlands and losing 17-14 to open 2010 after being stopped on 4th-and-goal in a game we saw vs. Maryland with about a minute left to play. Ensigns have 9 SU wins, but are 6 points away from 11. Oddly, the Middies seem a bit off from last year and maybe aren’t quite as good as their record? Rush defense comparison is pretty-much a wash, but Army gets the advantage stopping the pass (allowed 18 passing scores and less than 142 ypg, with 12 INT) over the Midshipmen (18 pass TDs and 228 ypg allowed, with 8 picks) and as one might expect from a pair of highly-disciplined squads, Navy and Army are the second- and third-least penalized teams in the country (39 and 47 [one fewer than the Nitwit Lions]) total flags, respectively [behind Wisconsin’s 35]). Neither club could get past Air Force, with Army losing by 20 at home and Navy losing by 8 in Colorado, but Middies have dropped just one game since that defeat (the aforementioned 3-point loss at Duke). Annapolis, disregarding 76-point Wisconsin-like outing at East Carolina, is averaging just over 25 ppg...down 3 ppg from 2009. Win-loss records of Army’s victims total 20-51. Records for the Middies losing opponents...44-48, including 3 with winning records and three bowlers. We salute the Cadets for their progress, but we don’t think they’ve caught-up quite this much. If Sarah Palin gave a pre-game pep talk to the troops, would it include the phrase, “Drill Sergeant, Baby! Drill Sergeant!”????...Rear Fleet 23 Ground-Pounders 12

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKSDisgusted early in the second-half with South Carolina’s poor tackling, especially on 3rd-and-long and with the Poultry’s Stephen Garcia just missing wide-open receivers, we tuned into ABC Family to watch Harry Potter and the Chambermaid of Victoria’s Secrets!

A high school running back was flagged last week for unsportsmanlike conduct when he dropped to one knee and pointed skyward following his touchdown scamper. Funny...the official who tossed that hankie has been mysteriously triggering extra pat-downs by airport security, Wal-Mart loss-prevention personnel and baggers as he comes and goes through local grocery stores scanners! Coincidence? You decide!

Depending on whether ya had certain games as wins or ties for the chalk, a 7-3 finish for the favorites (again, potentially 5-3-2) led to a 5-5 Championship Week for your pooped prognosticator (119-124-3, .489; well off last year’s 140–118-2, .542).

UCF(-9 over SMU) didn’t impress, but did bring home Vindicator’s lock pick in a 17-7victory, evening the record at 7-7 (.500...a notch or two better than 2009's 5-9, 357).

Similarly, UConn (+1 ½) won outright by 3 over USF in Weber’s only “best bet” call of the championship weekend, lifting that tally to 28-32-1 (.467...close to last season’s 27-31, 465).

Vindy will return in a little over a week with the first installment of this season’s bowl predictions, but not before taking a breather to visit his fave holiday toy store...Build-A-Beer! Stay tuned!

Vindy's Picks Championship Week 2010

2010-12-01T19:43:00.000-08:00

PICKS IMPACT RELEASED DOCS

WASHINGTON, District of Columbia (ITAR-Tass)...Long a thorn in the sides of various world agencies, WikiLeaks released sensitive, previously-classified diplomatic cables this week. Those cables were part of a “huge encrypted ‘insurance’ file” on the company’s website following last summer’s demands that thousands of secret documents be returned to the U.S. government. But even as American officials tried to prepare other nations in advance of the release, Vindy’s Picks were about to cast serious shadows on international relations across the globe. The cables show U.S. diplomats lambasting other leaders for wagering with the infamous forecasts and Saudi Arabia encouraging Washington to “cut the head off the snake”...in other words, the Saudis wanted the disbanding of the BCS. Some documents even reveal the use of team names from the picks to indicate success (“Gamehens”) or failure (“Buckeyes” and “Red Raiders”) of military operations! The documents also implicate U.S. diplomats in low-level spying, such as garnering credit card information about other dignitaries or videotaping a 49ers practice session in London.

The favorites continued their torrid ATS charge (now 24-11-1) as Vindy floundered to 9-11 (114-119-3, 489) for the last full week of the regular season.

The South Koreans have blamed North Korea for the sinking of Vindy’s Week 13 picks and have elected to conduct joint-betting exercises with the United States. As a result, China is now jittery over the off-shore presence of...

THE WEBER KID’S 2010 CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK FORECAST
(Featuring more high-wire acts than the new Spidey musical!)

FRI. DEC. 3
MAC Championship @ Detroit, MI
#24 Northern Illinois over Miami-Ohio giving 17: Redhawks are here because the Bobblecats of Ohio shockingly lost by 22 to Kent State. After dropping a match to Iowa State to open the year, Huskies lost just one other tilt in a respectable 6-point defeat at Illinois, then manhandled everybody else (except Western Michigan, whom it beat by 6), including Minnesota. Hats off to NIU coach Jerry Kill for leading his squad to 10 wins (which could well be an even dozen by the end of bowl season) after going just 13-13 in his first two years at the helm. We applaud Miami-O as well on its current 8-4 record after putting a lone game in the “W” column in 2009. Birds have gone 5-1 SU/4-2 ATS recently. Dogs have scored an average of 65 points per game over their last three games. Miami lost 27-22 to last season’s 7-6 Northern Illinois team...NIU 44 Miami-Ohio 24

SAT. DEC. 4
OREGON STATE over #1 Oregon taking 16 ½: We hope the Beavers 38-Zippo fall to Stanford had more to do with lousy ball security (5 turnovers) than with concession of the season. State can still bowl with a victory here. OSU has been a Virginia-like enigma....beating Cal and USC, yet losing to UCLA and Wazzou. Beavers have won four of five home games (3-2 ATS), while the Drakes are perfect 5-0 (2-3 ATS) off the Pond. State does own two outright victories as dogs and cashed tickets in 8 of last 11 vs. the Mallards in Corvallis. For the Quack Attack, it’s just win and play for the national crown. Can Beavers guard against Ducks’ usual second-half explosion? If it’s close late, would State cede in order to allow a PAC-10 rival to play for the biggest bucks to draw its conference share of those dollars? Naaaaaahhhhh!...Ducks 33 Beavers 20

SEC Championship @ Atlanta, GA
#18 South Carolina over #2 Auburn taking 4 ½: Rematch of late September game, won 35-27 by the Tigers. Tigers have had some close calls...last week’s all-but-death-knell vs. ‘Bama included! We thank Auburn for that miracle comeback from an early 24-point hole, which kept Vindicator from an O-fer-Friday! With RB Lattimore being neutralized by Clemson, Chargin’ Chickens proved Stephen Garcia can use his arm to make it happen. Garcia’s hurt, but expected to suit-up. Last four conference titles have alternated between East and West, with the fave winning 3, covering two and pushing one of ‘em. The smallest margin in Auburn’s recent five-game ATS win streak has been 7... KFC 27 Auburn 24

Utah State over #9 BOISE STATE taking 39 ½ : Faster than you can say, “wide right” (twice!), BSU went from BCS-buster to lower-tier bowl in its own stadium or nearby. Closest Boise has come to this situation, losing a perfect season and possible title shot, this late in the year was 12-point defeat to close out 2007 regular season. Broncos then lost by 3 in a bowl game to ECU. Aggies return to the forecast for first time since scarin’ da’ bejeezus outta’ the Sooners in Norman in Week One. Broncos have covered this one the past five years, but have won by this many only in 2007's 52-0 romp, taking the other four by about 32 ppg. Senior-laden USU was off last weekend, following 22-point home loss to Idaho that followed wins over NMSU and San Josie after a 14-point loss at Reno...BSU 51 USU 13

Big 12 Championship @ Arlington, TX
#13 Nebraska over #10 Oklahoma taking 3 ½: Huskers mopped up Colorado behind the second-string QB. Despite winning a close one over Oklahoma State, Sooners’ O sputtered three times in the red zone in the 4th Quarter, leading to a trey of chip-shot FGs that allowed State to hang around. Back-to-back appearances in the Big 12 title game now for Big Red, who’s looking for its first title victory in that time (losing 13-12 to Texas in ‘09). Sooners 1-1 on neutral turf this season and lost to Nebraska 10-3 last year in Lincoln. Sooners on 3-0 spread run (2-0 on the road). Children of the Corn and Oklahoma have common losses to Texas A&M, but Nebraska defeated Mizzou and Okie State...the two teams to whom Oklahoma lost...NU 24 Oklahoma 20

ACC Championship @ Charlotte, NC
#12 Virginia Tech over #20 Florida State giving 4: We underestimated the mission Tech was on last week. We won’t do that again. Hokies in midst of 7th straight season of double-digit SU wins. Injuns could notch their first since 2002 with the victory. State holds a 2-1 SU/ATS edge in past three games vs. the Hokies, winning 30-20 in 2008, and are here because NC State collapsed vs. Maryland. Gators ran for almost 5 yards per carry vs. FSU, but still got blasted... VT 29 FSU 21

LOUISIANA TECH over #14 Nevada taking 10: Best guess for “wish I had it back”. Drop in the line toward the Bulldogs speaks to expected letdown for Wolfpack in wake of emotional roller-coaster 4th quarter and OT that unseated Boise. Tech’s four home games have resulted in 3 losses by 14, 1 and 6 around a 13-point win. Bulldogs did score 20 on Boise and has a lot of seniors, who’ve seen LT cover the past three in this series...UNR 34 LT 27

Rutgers over #23 WEST VIRGINIA taking 20: Mounties steam-rolled Pitt to put themselves in position to win the Big Least, but still need a loss by UConn at South Florida (and a win here) to secure it. We cashed a ticket in Week 13 courtesy of the Knights rolling over against Louisville. Rutgers is listless 2-7-1 ATS on the year, but actually beat UConn outright earlier. Knights loss their early games by 3-4 points each, but have lost 3 of past 5 by 20 or more. Nothing but pride on the line for RU, who had won bowls in each of the previous four seasons. We’re hoping to see the first-half Knights, not the ones from recent Saturdays...WVU 17 Rutgers 3

#25 HAWAII over Nevada-Las Vegas giving 34 ½: Oddly, this game could feasibly (though unlikely to) have some impact on Wisconsin’s post-season destination as Badgers hope to hold their current ranking edge over Ohio State and Michigan State. ‘Bows, on the Island, won by 7 over UNR, who at worst coulda’ lost by 3 to then-national title-contending Broncos. Hawaii’s taken its last four victories by average of 35 points and is 9-2 against the line overall. Rubbles, who need something to build on for 2011, have staggered to 0-6 SU/ATS outside Sam Boyd (and 2-12 back to October 2008). UNLV practiced, during summer camp, on same brand of synthetic field turf used by Super Bowl champion New Orleans. Now if they can just hire Sean Payton, Drew Brees and Reggie Bush!...Haka Dance 49 Sin City 10

Conference USA Championship @ Orlando, FL
Central Florida over Southern Methodist giving 9: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. UCF Knights return to the conference title match after a 2-year hiatus and for 3rd time in six seasons. Ponies had to take ECU in OT, combined with a Tulsa loss, to be here. Mustangs did beat Wazzou by two touchdowns, but best win really was 21-18 over Tulsa. SMU finished on a 2-5-1 ATS slide, but was a dog just once in that set and lost by 8 at Texas Tech and 17 to TCU, but by 14 at UTEP and 25 (GASP!) to Houston squad being led by QB well-down the depth chart. Knights are 8-3 ATS overall, though just 1-2 the past three games. UCF lost by 7 to NC State, at KSU by 4 and to Southern Miss by 10. Knights improving steadily in points-allowed the past several years and have held 8 of 12 opponents at or below 17. More experience on both sides of the ball for...Central Florida 34 SMU 17

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKSA new study suggests a statistical flaw relied upon by the NCAA means graduation rates for major college football and men’s basketball players lag behind those of other students, not the other way around (not sure exactly what that means, but we’re sure the BCS will find a way to add it to the formula it uses to determine who plays for the National Title!)

Rutgers is selling the naming rights for its football stadium and basketball arena, currently known as Rutgers Stadium and Rutgers Athletic Center, respectively. Maybe a little tie-in to The Sopranos or Bruce Springsteen is in order? Bada Bing Arena? Born to Run (Away) Field, (No) Glory Days Stadium, Jungle Land or Badlands (since The Meadowlands is already there), I Surrender Stadium or maybe....Pink Cadillac Pavilion!

The UNLV Rebels have included Southern Utah and Western Illinois in their 2011 schedule. We heard the Dallas Cowboys have an open-date next season as well! Just a thought!

As we noted in last week’s forecast, TCU coach Gary Patterson said he wouldn’t lay 72on an opponent “at the expense of teaching my young people a life lesson.”. But droppin’ 66 on New Mexico is okay???!!! Yo, Coach! Liar, liar....pants on fire!!!!!!

After his Hogs beat LSU, Coach Bobby Petrino was quoted as saying, “We didn’t come to paint”. We watched that game...and we beg to differ. Given the good starting field position the Bengals got following Arkansas punts and kick-offs, we’re pretty sure we saw the Razorbacks coverage units holding brushes and palettes while peering over easels as the Tigers special teams moved the ball downfield! The only things missin’ were smocks and berets!

2010 celebrates the 150th anniversary of the Pony Express (the mail-delivery, not the once-vaunted SMU running game named for it!). It lasted just 19 months, but fans of Vindy’s Picks back then were a lot happier to get them sooner!!

SEASON RECAP:
Best Weekly Effort: No question....Week Twelve’s 12-3-1. Clutch!!!

Worst Weekly “Effort”: Weber’s annual stinker came via Week Two’s 5-13. Uggggggghhh!

WEBER-FRIENDLIES (Best percentage on the predicted side of the spread; minimum 7 at-bats in the forecast): This season’s “You’re in Good Hands Award” goes to...drum roll, please...the Fightin’ Fowl of South Carolina (8-2, .800). Splitting Second Place...Oklahoma State and Michigan State (both at 6-2, .750). Reeling in “Honorable Mention” were the Bengals of LSU (8-3, .727), who only last season were in the Dishonorable Mention category! Our sincere appreciation to Auburn for a 7-4 (.636) effort that landed no hardware, but followed up last season’s 10-1, giving the War Eagle 17 forecast wins in the last 22 appearances!

FLAME-THROWERS (Worst percentage on the predicted side of ‘da spread): This year’s “Grill-Master Supreme Award” winner is Reno (1-6, .143), who snuck up on Vindicator while he was busy not paying attention to “Suckin’ Place” winners Arizona (3-6, .333) and surprise entry Virginia Tech (2-4-1, .333). Garnering attention all season was “Dishonorable Mention” winner Ohio State (4-7-1, .364), who shares the distinction with TCU (4-7, .364) and the large...wooden...Badgers...of Wisconsin (4-7, .364).

Didn’t make the cut, but we’ll be watchin’: The Gilded Gerbils of Minnesota finished 1-4 (.200).

Thanks for playing: The Clemson Tigers provided 4 wins in 4 tries.

“Wish I Had That One Back”: We’d like to revisit our choice of Kansas +24 ½ over Missouri after noting the Jayhawks “had reason to play hard (in previous close losses vs. the Tigers)...and has nowhere to go except home after this.”

“Locked in a Box?”: Oh the shame! But we tip our helmet to the Spartans for edging the alma mater in Beaver Stadium for the first time since the Nixon Administration and lifting the lock record to 6-7 (.461), which is one better than where we were this time last season!

Shoppe Talk: Buckeyes finally show up on the predicted side of the number (4-7-1) but simply reduce their standing for post-season ackkkkkolades! Reno hosed us again with the upset of the Broncos (1-6) and were duly “rewarded” as noted above!

Vindy’s Championship Week Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 27-32-1 (.458...BTW, we hear ya can write these off for tax purposes!). Slim pickin’s this week, folks. We’ll call UConn +1 ½ over SOUTH FLORIDA and nothing more.

Vin comes up for air, and heads off to feed and water his collection of NCAA garden gnomes (little !@%#!@!! drank all of Vindicator’s beer the last time they were left unsupervised for too long!). Not to worry....we’ll return circa December 16 with our infamous bowl predictions (and we might even provide some bonus coverage this time next week with our thoughts on the Army-Navy game!)

Vindy's Picks Week 13-2010 Part II

2010-11-25T17:32:00.000-08:00

#11 Michigan State over PENN STATE giving 1 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. The Nitwit Lions actually drew a pair of Top 25 votes this week after whacking Indiana. Sparty’s QB is banged up and MSU had to rally at home last week to beat Purdue, but Spartans need a victory to ensure at least a piece of the Big Ten championship. Lions building a little momentum with four wins in past five games (4-1ATS), but this is the kinda’ opponent against which the alma mater will look good in the first half, then fold after the break. Lions won big the past two years, but were #7 and #13 at the time...MSU 27 Penn State 17

Virginia over #13 VIRGINIA TECH taking 21 ½: Hokies used a strong 4th quarter to put away Miami and lock in a berth in the ACC title game. Not much would be gained with a rout over the Cavs, who have been an enigma all season. Virginia is a solid bet as a road dog (9-2 ATS the past four years) but a bet-against on the back end of consecutive road games. Cavs 1-1 SU vs. the two Top 25 teams they played, with a loss by only 3 at USC. Tech has four wins by at least this many and have been on a mission. Still, we like....Tech 33 Cavs 14

Kansas over #15 Missouri taking 24 ½ (@ Kansas City, MO): Jayhawks traded first quarter scores with Oklahoma State before putting up the “gone fishin’” signs. Tigers like the neutral sites to open the year, not so much to close them out. Kansas has played Mizzou tough...losing by 2, winning by 3 and losing by 8 the last three years, but had reason to play hard. KU has just three straight-up victories in 2010 and has nowhere to go except home after this. Tigers could throw a second straight shutout and are tied with Nebraska atop the Big 12 North, but lose in head-to-head competition...Mizzou 28 Kansas 6

#18 South Carolina over CLEMSON giving 2 ½: The Poultry is already set to play in Atlanta but we don’t see any let-up in Carolina. Tigers played Auburn, NC State and Florida State all very close and the Gamehens are just 2-2 SU/ATS on the road. Tigers defense is playing well, limiting last six foes to 16 or fewer points. Both squads are young at the skills positions, but have experienced offensive lines. South Carolina’s been getting better production from its youth... USC 24 Clemson 17

#21 NC State over MARYLAND giving 2 ½: Two of this year’s surprise teams in the ACC square off here. Wolfpack is 8-2 ATS to-date but gets just second chance to lay points. Terps have seven SU wins but have been up-and-down. The wins also came over no one significant. Turtles lost 38-31 in 2009 and State doesn’t fare well facing teams wanting revenge, but...NC State 28 Maryland 20

#22 FLORIDA STATE over Florida giving 2 ½: With 8 wins in the books, Jimbo Fischer, in his first year as head coach, has already led the ‘Noles to more victories in a season than in three of Bobby Bowden’s final four years in Tallahassee and could tie or beat the remaining win total with a victory here and/or in a bowl. Senior Christian Ponder has a chance to do something that hasn’t happened since he arrived...pick up a victory over the Gators... Injuns 24 Florida 19

Brigham Young over #23 UTAH taking 9 ½: Aztecs receivers ran amok on Utah but State turned the ball over three times and let Utes support Vindy’s proclamation that they weren’t quite finished. Coogs were left for dead in September, but have rebounded to win five of past six games (5-1 ATS). BYU took this match-up 26-23 last year but haven’t toppled Utah in consecutive seasons since 2000-2001...Utah 24 BYU 20

#24 Iowa over MINNESOTA giving 15: Hawkeyes have to be major-league frustrated after letting two victories slip away in the 4th quarter the past two weeks. First game for the Gophers since shocking Illinois two weeks ago as a three-score underdog. Iowa’s just 1-3 ATS on the road this season. Gophers have been outscored 67-0 the past years in this series, but haven’t scored less than 8 this year. Floyd of Rosedale goes to...Iowa 27 Minny 7

#25 Mississippi State over MISSISSIPPI giving 2 ½: Bulldogs played at Arkansas’ pace and were beaten in 2OT. Rebels dragged LSU into its trackmeet pace, but fell a little short. Collectively, these clubs have two spread wins between ‘em in their past 8 games combined. The home team has been the SU winner of the Iron Bowl each of the last six years and four of ‘em were by substantial margins. Rebels are 2-3 ATS in Oxford. State’s gone 2-2 ATS on the road, but against much better teams...Mississippi State 31 Ole Mist 21

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Runs the forty in 4.2? Nice. Bench-presses 25 reps at 450 lbs.? Outstanding. Never been in a high-school production? NEXT!!!!!

Meet the new defensive coordinator....Inside the Actors Studio host James Lipton! Forget the nickel package...send in the Nicole Kidman package!

Here’s a conspiracy theory for ya...members of officiating crews faking injury to slow-down offenses or extend the game in exchange for a few extra dollars! How ‘bout networks intentionally taking more TV time-outs to do likewise!

BTW, our overall season record bumped up to 105-108-3 (.493) and gives us a chance to finish at or over .500 with some decent calls over the final couple of regular season weeks.

Gotta’ wonder how many baseball fans brought gloves to the Illinois-Northwestern game in hopes of catching a few personal-foul balls! Did either team strand runners at the cornerbacks???!!

Nebraska coach Bo Pelini drew a lotta’ negative attention for his “ref rage” during Huskers’ loss to A&M. Too bad Big Red wasn’t playing at the aforementioned Cubs venue. Bo coulda’ just thrown his hat, kicked dirt on home plate and been ejected like any self-respecting skipper!

After scoring vs. the Bengals Sunday, Buffalo receiver Steve Johnson pulled up his jersey to reveal Heath Ledger’s Joker quote, “Why so serious?” Coulda’ been worse for Cincinnati fans. The pass-catcher’s shirt coulda’ bore the words from Jack Nicholson’s Joker...”This town...needs an enema!”

Turkeys pardoned by the President are now being shipped off to George Washington’s Mount Vernon Estate to spend their rest of their lives instead of the traditional destination of Disneyland. Brad Childress’ agents have been trying to get an audience with the Commander-in-Chief!

Black Shirt: Goes to Utah tight end Kendrick Moeai for a 47-yard TD reception as time expired in the first half to put the Utes back in the game vs. San Diego State.

“Locked in a Box?”: Badgers blasted Michigan, finally raising the record to 5-7 (.417).

Shoppe Talk: Buckeyes (3-7-1) still aren’t givin’ up the forecast dubya, but we’ll take last week’s push as progress! The Reno Wolfpack stays another fortnight with yet another loss (1-5).

Vindy’s Week 13 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: 24-30-1 (.444)
Northern Illinois -23 ½ over EASTERN MICHIGAN (FRI), Louisville -3 over RUTGERS (FRI), VANDERBILT -6 over Wake Forest, Western Kentucky +13 over TROY, DUKE +9 ½ over North Carolina

BTW, Vindy joined forces with thousands of other disgruntled travelers this week and hopped outta’ the full-body scan at McCarron Airport. We came adorned with floppy ears and a cotton tail, but quickly stuffed them into our lone piece of carry-on luggage upon realizing nobody else has dressed for the occasion! (Oh wait...we were supposed to opt-out? No wonder security just gave the Weber Kid a funny look and waved him through!)

Vindy's Picks Week 13-2010 Part I

2010-11-24T17:58:00.000-08:00

COACHES COVETING DRAMA MAJORS

HOLLYWOOD, California (MSNBC)....Want to play? Be in one. While the “flop” and the “dive” have long been part of the athletic repertoire across all of the major sports, feigning pain has come to the forefront as a tactic used to slow down or break the rhythm of those opposing point-per-minute offenses. The no-huddle puts stress and fatigue on defenders to the point that schools now actively look for Thespian skills when recruiting football players out of high school. The concept has given new meaning to “film study”. Watching game film of opponents is fine. Viewing martial arts movies, horror flicks, even spaghetti westerns in which actors realistically portray being in agony can keep an overmatched defensive squad in the contest. Several coaching staffs are now implementing at least one practice session each week dedicated to “Punter for a Day”, in which defensive players take long snaps then twirl, fall and scream in an effort to draw “roughing the kicker” penalties.

In what has to be a career-best outing, your fab faker...um...we mean... forecaster....was dialed-in and went 12-3-1 in Week 12, as he was all over the chalk, who covered 11 of the 16 games!

Vindicator donned a neckbrace, leg cast and a box of Curad Ouchless Pads, then fell to the sportsbook floor grabbing his...uh..er..um...ankle... squealing like a schoolgirl as a pre-emptive strike ahead of...

THE WEBER KID’S 2010 WEEK 13 FORECAST
(Nominated for an Academy Award in the “scream queen” category!)

THURS. NOV. 25
#17 Texas A&M over TEXAS giving 3 ½: Steers finally met a foe they could overwhelm in Fun Belt’s Florida Atlantic, while the Aggies resurrected ghosts of the Wreckin’ Crew defense in a 9-6 win over Nebraska. A&M last beat the Longhorns outright in 2007, but have covered three straight years, mostly as heavy underdogs. TAMU doesn’t fare well in Thursday games, showing just one ATS win in last nine tries, but Texas won’t be able to keep it this close...A&M 24 Cattle 13

FRI. NOV. 26
#1 OREGON over #20 Arizona giving 20: After watching tape of Cal’s near-upset of the Mallards, Arizona spent this week practicing shuttling crutches and aircasts onto the field while on defense. Ducks cash tickets following bye weeks, covering 8 of last 9. Wildcats would like to payback last year’s 44-41 loss in Tucson. Drakes have covered all four games on the Pond in 2010 and unless Arizona successfully pulls off Cal’s Mayo Clinic act...Quack Attack 42 UA 20

#2 Auburn over #9 ALABAMA taking 4 ½: War Eagle has yielded past two Iron Bowls to the Tide after taking the three games from 2005-2007. Tigers blew a lead in last season’s 26-21 loss. Tide laying points in this series for just second time in eight years. A low-scoring game favors ‘Bama, who has held 8 opponents to 13 or less, winning all eight of ‘em and covering seven. Elephants haven’t lost at home since early 2007 (to Joja’ in OT), a span of 20 games. The younger Newton needs to keep his wits about him as evidence closes in around his daddy. If he does so, he can lead the Tigers past ‘Bama in Tuscaloosa, much like South Carolina finally upended Florida in the Swamp. He might wanna’ take that bumper-sticker that reads, “Payment expected at time services are rendered” off his car though...Auburn 23 Bama 20

#3 Boise State over #19 NEVADA giving 14: Last chance for the Broncos to “dress to impress” and belt a semi-relevant team. ‘Bama’s favored to win its game vs. Auburn. If you were coaching Boise State, would you be secure in a simple 10-14 point victory over the likely WAC runner-up, who was held to 7 at Hawaii???!!! We didn’t think so. UNR on just 2-5 ATS skid and playing on a short week. Boise got an extra day of rest/practice following Friday night bashing of Fresno. Like it needs yet-another edge. Wolfpack has two covers in last nine facing ranked opponents. One of those two wins came in 44-33 loss last year at Boise....BSU 49 UNR 20

Colorado over #16 NEBRASKA taking 23 ½: Bison playing with some spunk following dismissal of quarterback’s father, posting consecutive straight-up victories over K-State and Iowa State, who lost by 1 to the Huskers in OT. Big Red became Big Yellow in light of 16 flags for 145 yards in 9-6 defeat by A&M that cost us one of our three forecast L’s last weekend. Nebraska won just 28-20 in 2009. Buffs are 0-3 ATS on the road, but we see the funk continuing for Nebraska...Huskers 42 Colorado 24

SAT. NOV. 27
NEW MEXICO over #4 Texas Christian taking 44 ½: Bye week maybe came at a good time for the Toads following 35 by San Diego State in narrow Frogs win. Lobos have covered 2 of 5 in Albuquerque this season and 4 of last 6 overall. New Mexico lost 40-7 last week at BYU. Is TCU at least 10 points better than da’ Coogs, even on the road? We think so, but initial gut reaction was to take the generous points and Coach Patterson promised to not run it up...TCU 44 Lobos 7

Northwestern over #5 WISCONSIN taking 23 ½: After some goofy directional rules during last week’s tilt at Wrigley Field, at least the ‘Cats will know which way to drive the ball! Wildcats freshman Evan Watkins will make his second start in relief of QB Dan Persa, but N-Dub can play some D even if the offense struggles. Badgers simply need to win to grab part of the conference title and make the Rose Bowl, even if OSU and Michigan State obliterate their opponents. Badgers beat only one line this big to-date...Wisky 34 Northwestern 13

#12 ARKANSAS over #6 Louisiana State giving 3 ½: First thought here is to the “over”. The last five matches have been decided by a total of 13 points but have totaled 61 or better. Bengals escaped Ole Mist with a TD with 44 seconds left in 43-36 win, getting burned for scoring plays of 50- and 65-yards. Hogs have covered three straight in this series, including 33-30 loss in ‘09. State hasn’t been a dog in this SEC contest since 2002...Arkansas 41 LSU 34

Oregon State over #7 STANFORD taking 14: Beavers excel in road dog mode. Trees are not strong in November, though 2-1 ATS this year so far. Other receivers are finally emerging for State, taking some of the pressure off Jacques Rodgers to carry the load...Cardinal 30 Beavers 24

#8 OHIO STATE over Michigan giving 17: Buckeyes are still livin’ right, but could be sluggish in the first 30 minutes here. No matter, there should be plenty of separation in the second half. Are the linesmakers seein’ the same Michigan defense that Vindy is? As expected, Badgers RB Ball and White ran for collective 354 yards vs. Michigan. Boom Herron and Terrell Pryor, when he’s not throwing deep, should do likewise. Big Blew is on 0-7 ATS slide, all in conference play, where UM has now gone 7-22-2 the past 4 seasons. Somehow under the radar in all this are Michigan’s seven SU victories to-date. Buckeyes haven’t blown a cover at da’ Shoe in seven tries this year...OSU 42 Wolverines 18

#10 OKLAHOMA STATE over #14 Oklahoma giving 2 ½: Sooners registered just their second spread win away from Norman all season last week. DeMarco Murray has made himself useful as a receiver since the rushing yardage isn’t coming easy. Meanwhile State’s Justin Blackmon continues his torrid receiving run following return from suspension. Cowpokes haven’t won Bedlam since 2002 and just twice in last 10 years. It’s been a season of underdog teams finally breaking through. Chalk up (no, not that kinda’ chalk) another one for the “little guy”...State 38 Sooners 31

C'mon back tomorrow night for the exciting conclusion of our Week 13 forecast, including our lock of da' week and "best bets". And save room for a nice helping of "hash"!

Vindy's Picks Week 12-2010

2010-11-17T18:21:00.000-08:00

BCS, BBB JOIN FORCES

ARLINGTON, Virginia (Reuters)....Tired of watching your favorite team run the table, then get snubbed for a national title shot based on strength-of-schedule, yada-yada as determined by some machine-generated ranking and end up in the Podunk Second-Class Citizen Bowl??! Well due to a merger between the controversial Better Business Bureau and the Bowl Championship Series, fans; alumni and bettors alike can pool their “resources” and improve weekly standings by simply offering up “contributions” to the powers-that-be (to ease operating costs, of course). Campaigns are currently underway in Ft. Worth and Boise, as well Baton Rouge and South Bend to gather enough funding to better their respective teams post-season positioning. Already among the media-created monikers for the scandal are...”Guilders for Grades”, “Rankings for Rubles”, “Standings for Six-Pence!” and “Bowling for Benjamins!”

Even with a Friday night dubya to kick it off, the tired tea leaves still couldn’t make any headway, going just 11-11 (93-105-2, .469) for Week Eleven.

If you trigger extra searches while going through airport security this holiday season, you can either receive a full-body pat-down by some TSA bruiser named Hildegarde or accept exposure to...

THE WEBER KID’S 2010 WEEK 12 FORECAST
(Free with the purchase of any Carnival cruise!)

FRI. NOV. 19
#3 BOISE STATE over Fresno State giving 30 ½: Like there’s any doubt? Broncos caught a huge break when Toads scraped by San Diego State and the Utes never came outta’ the locker room in bad loss to the Leprechauns. Boise will hope one of the two teams above them in the BCS standings slips up and will rain down the usual firestorm in the meantime. Bulldogs on a short week following 1-point defeat to Reno...Blue Shag University 54 FSU 13

SAT. NOV. 20
#1 Oregon: IDLE (next @ Stanford)

#2 Auburn: IDLE (next @ Alabama 11/26)

#4 TCU: IDLE (next @ New Mexico State)

Mississippi over #5 LSU taking 16 ½: If there’s such a thing as winning ugly in a 51-0 blowout, Bengals managed to do so vs. UL-Monroe, with the defense and special teams doing the heavy lifting and the offense doing little more than mopping up. Tigers can lock in their first winning spread season since 2004 with a cover and seek revenge for last year’s 25-23 loss in Oxford...LSU 26 Ole Miscellaneous 12

#6 Wisconsin over MICHIGAN giving 5: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Nowhere to go for Wisky except down after slapping a four-score on the Hoosiers, but Badgers have beaten Ohio State and Iowa. Wolverines D finally made an appearance last week, holding Purdue to 16, but Wisky’s backs will run for days. Big Blew lost home games to MSU by 17 and by 10 to the Hawkeyes...Cheese Dip 34 Michigan 10

#7 Stanford over CAL giving 7 ½: Cards were in a defensive struggle, winning just 17-14 vs. the Sun Devils, despite 420 yards of offense, but we don’t think Bares can get up defensively themselves again, even in “The Big Game” after smothering the Mallards but losing 15-13 following a missed chip-shot FG that woulda’ put them ahead. Cal’s lost both previous games to ranked opponents this year by total of 3 points. Trees are just 3-2 ATS on the road... Stanford 27 Berkeley 14

#21 IOWA over #8 Ohio State taking 3: We flip-flopped on this choice a couple times. Not usually a good sign. Hawkeyes gave up a 10-point lead in the final stanza to lose at Northwestern. State ripped off 35 unanswered points after spotting the Nitwit Lions an 11-point halftime edge. Iowa lost at da’ Shoe in OT in 2009, off a similar loss to NW, for just one of its two SU losses. Buckeyes are unreliable as road faves. Can Hawkeyes rush defense stand-up to Boom Herron?... OSU 17 Iowa 16

#9 Nebraska over #18 TEXAS A&M giving 2 ½: Taylor Martinez played thru the pain, leading Big Dread to a sleepy 20-3 win over Kansas. Aggies recovered from 16-point deficit, and yielded a half-K of land along the way before beating Baylor. Huskers, who have back-to-back unimpressive wins, slowed down a bit this time last season too, but it’s a small number to cover and Aggies RB Gray won’t find nearly as much room to run here...Corn Cobs 27 A&M 20

Georgia State @ #10 ALABAMA: No line.

Purdue over #11 MICHIGAN STATE taking 20: Boilers, Michigan’s second-lowest-scoring opponent, is 3-3 ATS in conference play, including nearly-inexplicable SU victory over Northwestern. Rested Sparty probably won’t catch Wisconsin for the automatic Big Tenuous BCS bid and has been a go-against in November games in 8 of the last 9 years....MSU 27 Purdue 13

#12 Oklahoma State over KANSAS giving 24: Okie State’s stop-squad has held four of last five opponents to an average of less than 19 ppg (51 to Nebraska notwithstanding). The pain continues for KU, but hey...it’s hoops season in Lawrence!...OKSU 47 Jayhawks 20

#13 Arkansas over #22 MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 3 ½: Soeeeey Pigs whacked UTEP by merely outscoring their own mistakes on defense and special teams. Bulldoggies have won 5 of 6 games in Starkville (3-2 ATS), losing only by 3 to possible national title finalist Auburn. Hogs bashed SEC East champ South Carolina by three touchdowns. MSU is 8th in the SEC in pass defense at 227 yards/game... Arkansas 34 Mississippi State 27

#14 Virginia Tech over #24 MIAMI giving 2 ½: ‘Canes have won four of their last five games outright this year, with odd loss at Virginia. Can’t go against streaking Hokies with Miami having been clocked by the other pair of ranked teams they’ve faced (Ohio State and Florida State) and going with back-up QB this week...VT 17 Pelicans 7

IOWA STATE over #15 Missouri taking 11: We contemplated an upset call here until learning Dust Devils will go with back-up quarterback. But given Tigers’ 0-3 spread slide and inconsistency of both teams (Mizzou escaped San Diego State; ‘Clones took Nebraska to OT then got smoked by poor Buffaloes squad). State needs a victory to play in December...Missouri 19 ISU 12

#16 Oklahoma over BAYLOR giving 7 ½: Sooners won 33-7 in 2009, but that was a couple weeks following the Bears loss of Griffin for the season. Baylor could be feeling snake-bitten following loss to the Aggies after taking an early 16-point lead. OK is 0-2 ATS in true road games on the year, 1-3 away from Norman and 5-5 against the line overall. We asked “Peggy” from that Discover Card commercial if she liked the Sooners or the Bears. She replied, “Yeeeessss??”...Sooners 29 Baylor 17

#17 SOUTH CAROLINA over Troy giving 23: Troy not quite the Sun Belt elite of yore, though just a single game from the conference lead. That one-game difference however is the result of 17-point home loss to Florida International, who sits atop the Fun Belt. To their credit, Trojans did lose just 41-38 in September at then-unranked Oklahoma State. Troy just 2-7 ATS overall. Gamehens are celebrating their first-ever SEC title match berth and have rival Clemson looming. Will SC exhale?...Poultry 45 Troy 19

New Mexico State over #19 UNR taking 37 ½: Wolfpack barely dodged a bullet vs. Fresno and has Boise on-deck. Aggies posted their first spread loss in 5 games last week, losing by 21 to Weeziana Tech. NMSU 3-2 ATS getting points away from home and have been decent 10-6-1 in that role the past three seasons. This one could end up 49-3 or maybe something to...Reno 41 NMSU 20

OREGON STATE over #20 Southern Cal taking 3: Trojans continue to play hard despite having nada to play for because of the post-season ban. USC has won four of its last five games. Scoring just 24 total points over last two after averaging almost 30 ppg over previous seven, the loss of James Rodgers is really starting to show for the Beavers, who fell into last week’s “WTF???!!!” category with an outright loss to Wazzou, who was getting 23 points! State still needs to take two of its final thee matches to reach bowl-eligibility...and have Stanford and Oregon left on the schedule!...OSU 20 USC 19

#23 Arizona: IDLE (next @ Oregon 11/26)

#25 Utah over SAN DIEGO STATE giving 3: The wheels have not yet come completely off the Utah wagon despite 1-2 SU/0-3 ATS sputter. Aztecs are certainly improved under Brady Hoke and maybe little more than a berth in the Las Vegas Bowl awaits Utah, but surely there’s still a talent gap and SDSU may have left all they had on the gridiron in Ft. Worth...Utes 27 Aztecs 23

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, the BBB has chalked up the current scandal accusing the organization of taking cash in exchange for bolstering grades for businesses to a “clerical error”. Vindy is no stranger to clerical mistakes and has, himself, committed more than his own share of typos, but let’s face it...a simple case of happy fingers and the Ragin’ Cajuns of Louisiana (formerly UL-Lafayette) garner a Top 25 slot while the Bengals of LSU find themselves in the cold with their lips pressed up against the window...on the outside lookin’ in! Maybe the collaboration will lead to the acronym “BBBCS”!

Almost a Twilight Zone moment: Vindicator went 11-11 in Week 11, which started with a Friday-nighter just one day later than 11-11! Would’ve only been eerier had Boise played Thursday night during next season!

The “Cam” in Cam Newton was lookin’ like somethin’ short for Camelot. Now it’s the diminutive of camouflage!

Nitwit Lions might as well have inserted freshman QB Rob Bolden if they wanted someone to hurl interceptions for touchdowns in second-half of the Ohio State game (or sent in the Weber Kid if they simply wanted somebody to just hurl!)

En route to a game last January at Clemson, the North Carolina basketball team bus was hit by another vehicle. No injuries were reported. Thank goodness for side-deploying airballs!

The NCAA unveiled plans for its First Four, expanding the tourney to 68 teams. The four lowest seeds square-off to eventually face #1 seeds and the four last at-large qualifiers face each other and end up in originally-seeded spots. Great...a couple more of those Northeast Potato Grove State vs. University of Puerto Rico-A&M tilts to start things off! Somebody queue-up Sweet Georgia Brown!

Black Shirt: The terrific Tee goes to Super Steve Spurrier for finally game-planning the Gamecocks past Florida in the Swamp and making Vin look like a genius with his Upset Pick of Da’ Week call!

“Locked in a Box?”: Reno couldn’t get it done vs. Fresno, leaving the record at 4-7 (.364).

Shoppe Talk: No surprise here....Ohio State at 3-7 and the Red Raiders at 0-4 (3-17-1 last 21 appearances). The Badgers join in on an 0-4 skid , along with UNR at 1-4.

Vindy’s Week 12 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2-1 Season: 21-29-1 (.420)
East Carolina -9 ½ over RICE, Eastern Michigan +7 over BUFFALO, NC State +2 ½ over NORTH CAROLINA, SOUTHERN MISS -4 over Houston

Struggling badly with college football, Vindy notes he did hit his inaugural college hoops wager, getting a nice parlay win behind UMass and Cal-Santa Barbara (BTW, keep an eye on Pepperdine! Ya heard it here first!).

Vindy's Picks Week 11-2010 The Sequel

2010-11-11T14:57:00.000-08:00

#16 Virginia Tech over NORTH CAROLINA giving 3 ½: Illness and injury to both sidelines make this an interesting game. Carolina’s missing its leading rusher, who was hurt in the Florida State game. Hokies will go without RB David Wilson, who also ran back a kickoff for a 90-yard score that gave Tech a victory (and another Thursday night “L” to the Weber Kid). ‘Heels managed nifty upset of the Injuns last week, won 20-17 last year and have won 17 of last 24 home games outright (3-1 in 2010)...VT 20 UNC 13

#18 ARIZONA over Southern Cal giving 5 ½: Trojans eased past Arizona State 34-33 last week to beat just their second conference opponent all season. ‘Cats, who ran into a vengeful Stanford buzz-saw, have made the money in four of last five vs. USC, but were getting at least seven points in each of those. Nick Foles should be healthier and more mobile this Saturday. Good enuff for us.... AZ 21 USC 13

Texas Tech (GASP!) over #19 OKLAHOMA taking 16: We just have no faith in the Sooners to exceed a line of this size against Raiders squad that spotted Mizzou a 17-3 advantage then went to work for a seven-point triumph. For this putrid prophet, Texas Tech has become the NCAA football equivalent of the Kobayashi Maru, the unwinnable Starfleet Academy training scenario from Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan, which was beaten just once...by James T. Kirk, who cheated by re-programming the computer. Maybe we could re-program the scoreboard... OK 31 “Guns Up” 23

Kansas State over #20 MISSOURI taking 12 ½: This got a long, hard look for lock. Tigers got better than half their 260 rushing yards on a pair of real long totes for touchdowns in the first quarter, then seemingly went to sleep on Texas Tech in 24-17 loss. K-State’s rather-convincing win over Texas gives us confidence it can hang around within two scores long enough here. Wildcats appear to be returning to scoring-production levels of ‘07 and ‘08 at current 32 ppg following 2009's mere 23 ppg average. Meanwhile, usually-stout Mizzou has yielded average of 27ppg to last three opponents...Tigers 28 KSU 24

#21 Nevada over FRESNO STATE giving 9: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Reno lost at Hawaii, but has blown away most of its other competition and had not one, not two, but three players over 100 rushing yards last week. Don’t be fooled by Bulldogs three-game SU win streak as those victories came vs. New Mexico State, San Josie State and Weeziana Tech, who have a combined record of 4-21 vs. FCS foes (and one of NMSU’s wins came vs. San Josie!). Wolfpack won big the past two years and Fresno continues to be plagued by turnovers...minus-30 from 2007-2009 and minus-4 thus far this season...UNR 41 Fresno State 20

#22 South Carolina over #24 FLORIDA taking 7: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. The Swamp has held no pleasant memories for the Gamecocks, but SEC East title on the line here and this is the best chance the Poultry will have in a few years to unseat Florida as East champ. Gators’ home victims in 2010 have been Miami-Ohio, South Florida and Kentucky. Tim Tebow signed on with Jockey to be an underwear spokesman. Rumor has it the waistbands will contain references to Bible passages ...KFC 27 Gators 24

#23 Texas A&M over BAYLOR giving 3: We expect nothing worse than a push here. Bears got some mileage outta’ win over Kansas State, then beat fading Longhorns in Austin, but were exposed in bad loss at Oklahoma State. Congrats to Baylor on seven SU victories and what will likely be its first post-season appearance since 1994, but Robert Griffin clearly can’t carry the load all by himself. Aggies lead the conference in rushing defense. That should be enough of an edge to cover the small number on the road...Aggies 37 Bears 31

#25 CENTRAL FLORIDA over Southern Miss giving 7: Knights provided the only ticket we cashed in Week 10 and get their first-ever spot in the rankings. UCF has compiled 7 straight spread wins since dropping one to a pretty good NC State Wolfpack in early September and now show 21-8-1 ATS in C-USA the last three-plus seasons. Both these teams have scored an average in the 40's over their last five games this year. Knights get the nod on defense... UCF 44 SoMiss 34

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Given the pre-requisites, we guess San Fran ain’t seein’ McDonald’s Happy Meal toys faves, such as Beanie Babies, Hello Kitty and My Little Pony anytime soon (though My Little Parlay is a distinct possibility!).

On a serious note, we wish all our servicemen and servicewomen past, present and soon-to-be...a very Happy Veterans Day! We acknowledge the Utes wearing camouflage-style unis vs. TCU to benefit the Wounded Warriors program was a nice tribute. Unfortunately in the end, Utah looked more “wounded” than “warrior”.

The Madden NFL 11 video game incorporates real-life stats into game-play as the actual season moves along. We’re wonderin’ why Dungeons & Dragons or World of Warcraft hasn’t done that!!!

WVU hoops coach Bob Huggins took a tumble in his undisclosed Sin City hotel room during a “recruiting trip” last June and busted seven ribs. Seven??!!! What did he fall on....a Madonna-impersonator sporting the infamous conical bra at the Imperial Palace???!!!

A May ish of ESPN: Da’ Mag noted three Butler seniors played for the Washington Generals against the Harlem Globetrotters. With the three-team expansion approved, the Generals could make one of the play-in games for 2011 NCAA Tournament!

Queen Elizabeth II recently got herself a Facebook account and declined Vindy’s “friend request”. Oh sure...see if we help Her Majesty with her fish, farm or mafia! In fact, we’ve convinced the Royal Bookie to entice the Queen Mum into a nice expensive parlay involving our picks on Ohio State and Texas Tech!

A rare Honus Wagner baseball card belonging to a nun recently brought in $262,000 at a charity auction. For that kinda’ dough, the sisters can have their holy water delivered in five-gallon jugs by Sparkletts!!!

Have ya seen photos of 14-year-old, 7-foot-somethin’ Indian hoops phenom Satman Singh Bhamara???!!! Slap some metal on the kid’s teeth and he’s an instant remake of Richard Kiel’s “Jaws” character from the James Bond Moonraker flick!

Black Shirt: The ebony undergarment will look just fine this week on Sue Paterno, who stood by JoePa through 400 victories (and almost as many years of coaching!).

“Locked in a Box?”: For the first time all season, Vindicator tanks back-to-back lock picks with some help from Texas Tech (GASP!) to fall to 4-6 (.400).

Shoppe Talk: The aforementioned Red Raiders continue their residence at Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe at 0-3 on season, but 3-16-1 in last 20. Joining Tech are the Pork Chops of Arkansas (2-5).

Vindy’s Week 11 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-3 Season: 19-27-1 (.413)
Wyoming -5 over UNLV, Rice +4½ over TULANE, Utah State -4 over SAN JOSE STATE, NC STATE -19 over Wake Forest, Army -1 over KENT STATE

And now back to...”$#*! My Bookie Says!”...already in progress.

Vindy's Picks Week 11-2010 (Part I)

2010-11-10T17:40:00.000-08:00

FORECASTER’S NAMESAKE JOINS GOLDEN GATE FAST-FOOD

SAN FRANCISCO, California (MSNBC)....Fed up with the ongoing luring of America’s youth to indulge in unhealthy eating habits with the promise of toys, local officials have put the kibosh on the cultural icon known as the Happy Meal. When the new regulation takes effect in December 2011, replacing the forbidden fare on McDonald’s menu will be the Vindy Meal, a cheesy burger containing little meat or substance and sides of apple fries, beer and industrial-strength heartburn as consumers’ wallets get thinner. No toys will accompany the combo in the City By The Bay ...at least until a 53% correct prediction rate is achieved. The media is already dubbing the new menu item as the “McVee”, not to be confused with former Fleetwood Mac member Christine McVie!

A final tally of 8-9 for Week 10 (82-94-2, .466) made Vindy’s climb toward achieving at least a .500 season just a bit steeper, and the undesirable goal of breaking 100 losses before reaching the century mark in wins is a virtual certainty this coming week.

No need to panic, Sports Fans....that unexplained missile launch this week off the California coast was simply Vindicator misfiring with....

THE WEBER KID’S 2010 WEEK 11 FORECAST(Giving you the break you deserve today!)

FRI. NOV. 12
#4 Boise State over IDAHO giving 34 ½: Looks easy after Boise dismantled Hawaii. State kept the Warriors passing game off the board for three quarters. Vandals lost 63-25 last year and 45-10 in ‘08 and haven’t covered in four of last five games this season. Idaho’s mostly-new offensive unit simply hasn’t progressed enough to hang in here...Boise 54 Idaho 10

SAT. NOV. 13
#1 Oregon over CALIFORNIA giving 19 ½: Mallards were beaten three years in a row (holding a Top 25 spot each time) by Cal until pounding the Bears 42-3 last season (without a ranking at the time). We could see the Decoys putting on trademark first-half inertia before putting plenty of distance between themselves and the Cubbies, who may have to wait until last regular-season tilt vs. UDUB to get a shot at a minor bowl bid...Drakes 54 Bares 24

Georgia over #2 AUBURN taking 9: Tigers simply have to keep defeating its SEC rivals to keep TCU at bay and play for the national title. Dawgs have been on 4-1 SU tear, with only loss coming in OT vs. the Gators on a neutral field. Joja’ has knocked off Auburn four years running, but are 1-4 SU/ATS away from Athens on the season and didn’t covered either opportunity vs. ranked opponents (2-9 ATS skid). Gotta’ take the points...Auburn 23 Joja’ 19

#3 TCU over San Diego State giving 26 ½: Froggies gained little in the BCS race despite making it look very easy in Salt Lake City. Aztecs already have seven victories and will pick up an eighth when they host UNLV, but are just 1-3-1 ATS in their last five games. Toads have limited last 6 opponents to less than 4 points per game. One of the CBS announcers said QB Andy Dalton, facing the Utah pass rush, was “eating sandwiches back there (in the pocket)”. By the end of three quarters, he was also building a house of cards and crochetin’ a sweater!...TCU 38 SDSU 10

#5 LSU over Louisiana-Monroe giving 31: We don’t have a warm-and-fuzzy about this one. Bengals haven’t faced Weeziana-Monroe since belting them 49-7 in 2003, but have beaten the line in seven of last ten against teams from the Fun Belt. Having upset ‘Bama, the real question is whether or not Tigers feel like putting 31on the board. Warhawks lost last week in double-OT at Florida International, scored just 7 in spread win over Arkansas and rolled over in 52-3 loss at Auburn...LSU 41 UL-Monroe 6

Indiana over #6 WISCONSIN taking 21 ½: What do the Hoosiers have left in the tank following heartbreaking home losses to Northwestern and Iowa? Badgers actually trailed Purdue 10-6 at the half, but made the Boilers pay dearly for throwing three picks thereafter. However, Purdue’s QB was a true freshman in his first start. Indy held its own in 31-28 loss last year...Wisconsin 29 Indiana 17

ARIZONA STATE over #7 Stanford taking 5: In working off some serious aggression, Trees bent but didn’t break, yielding 428 yards of offense but just 17 points to Arizona. Cardinal lost three straight seasons to the Sun Devils before last year’s 33-14 victory, have covered all three road chalk opportunities (vs. UCLA, Notre Dame and UDUB) and still have a puncher’s chance to walk away with the conference crown. State is 6-1 ATS, including 3 spread wins with lines smaller than this one. Devils lost by 11 to Oregon and are 20-0 ATS facing the Top 25 this year...Stanford 27 ASU 24

Penn State over #8 OHIO STATE taking 17 ½: A big, tip of the helmet to JoePa for snaring his 400th victory... even if it came via a rally from three touchdowns down to Northwestern. Nice to see the Lions on a three-game win streak (and 3-0 ATS) behind Matt McGloin and some better execution by the O-line. The Nits are still giving up 24 ppg over that span though, to lesser offenses than the Buckeyes have. PSU has been victorious just three times in last 10 years vs. Ohio State, but only once has it lost by more than 17...OSU 27 Penn State 17

Kansas over #9 NEBRASKA taking 35: Even before losing starting QB Martinez, Huskers were gettin’ all they could handle from Iowa State club that took them to extra frames. Either Kansas busted out some major smoke-and-mirrors action or the Bison conspired to giveaway a 28-point, 4th quarter lead to send now-former coach Dan Hawkins to the unemployment line. Big Dread travels to A&M next week and shows a blase 11-11 ATS record in the Big 12 the past few seasons...Children of the Corn 38 Kansas 10

#10 Michigan State: IDLE (next vs. Purdue)

#17 Mississippi State over #11 ALABAMA taking 13 ½: Despite touchdowns from all three of its stars, Tide lost at LSU. ‘Bama followed up its previous defeat (at South Carolina) with ho-hum 23-10 home win over Ole Mist. Mississippi State has covered 5 of last 6 games this year and has limited 6 of 9 opponents to 17 or less. Bulldoggies need to take a pair of final three to go bowling...Alabama 22 MSU 17

#12 Oklahoma State over TEXAS giving 5 ½: Cowpokes were up 34-0 in the third quarter before Baylor hit the board. Maybe Mack Brown hasn’t given up on the season, but we think the Longhorns, 1-5 straight-up in last 6...including losses to UCLA and Iowa State, neither of whom have the scoring weapons that OKSU does, have... Cowboys 34 Texas 21

NORTHWESTERN over #13 Iowa taking 10: Hawkeyes went to the wire with Indiana. How well will the Wildcats, who own a single spread victory in 2010, respond in the wake of a defeat after being up on Vindicator’s alma mater by 21 (their first ATS loss as road dogs in last 10 chances). Iowa’s gone just 1-2 against the number outside Iowa City. N-Dub lost to Michigan State by 8. Will the Birds be motivated...or weary? ...Iowa 17 NW 9

#14 ARKANSAS over Texas-El Paso giving 28 ½: First BCS conference foe, much less first ranked opponent for the Miners, who upset Southern Methadone University two weeks after giving Tulane its only I-A victory on the season. Hogs whacked South Carolina, but are now 2-8 ATS giving double-digits off consecutive SU/spread victories. Arkie beat UL-Monroe 31-7 in September at Little Rock and boasts a 13-3 ATS record vs. non-SEC teams...Arkansas 48 UTEP 14

#15 Utah over NOTRE DAME giving 5 ½: We thought about this for lock, but are gun-shy following mishap at Air Force. Utes didn’t show up in the biggest game of their season....dropping passes, missing tackles and turning it over vs. TCU. Back in the news is a six-story statue of Jesus (in Monroe, Ohio) that was struck by lightning . Said Chad Ochocinco of the incident that damaged the Touchdown Jesus-wannabe, “Why didn’t I think of that???!!!”. (Ya think that bolt was a vote from on high against expansion of the Big Ten or Big Least to include the Catholics ???!!)...Utah 27 Irish 13

We'll back tomorrow night with the remainder of this week's 22-game minefield, our choice for lock of da' week, best bets and the ever-popular..."hashmarks"! Stay tuned!

Vindy's Picks Week 10-2010

2010-11-03T18:40:00.000-07:00

FORECASTER AT CENTER OF VALLEY’S BOTTOM RANKING

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (CNN)....In 2009, Sin City was next-to-last, but this year, Las Vegas is the cellar-dweller as the country’s “dumbest city” in the rankings published by the website called the Daily Beast. The hierarchy was based on numerical values assigned for the percent of residents over age 25 who completed college or graduate school, non-fiction book sales (thought to be an indicator of intellectual endeavors), as well as library and higher-education institution ratios. Beantown, Massachusetts topped the list, while Las Vegas was beaten out by the likes of San Antonio, Fresno and Houston at the other end of the spectrum. While the Weber Kid’s readership continues to increase, the local populace buys an average of less than one non-fiction book each. Researchers concluded that despite the gloom-and-doom distinction among the 55 metro areas on the list, “eliminating Vindy’s Picks from the equation woulda’ put Vegas easily in the mid-thirties”, somewhere between Kalamazoo and Oklahoma City.

Vindicator was on the wrong side of the half-point twice in Week 9 as the faves held serve again and our hero went just 8-10 (74-85-2, .465) for an unspectacular 39-36 over the last four weeks combined.

Bill Clinton refuted claims he suggested Democrat Kendrick Meek step away from the Florida senate race, but admitted to asking the fab forecaster, for the greater good of Las Vegans, Nevada residents and the country as a whole, to throw in the towel on...

THE WEBER KID’S 2010 WEEK 10 FORECAST(A couple standard deviations below normal on the IQ scale)

THURS. NOV. 4
#20 VIRGINIA TECH over Georgia Tech giving 13 ½: Bees boast one of the nation’s best rushing attacks again, but teams are catching up and while Tech had only three straight-up defeats all of last year, including a bowl loss, it already has that many in the “L” column with games yet-to-come vs. Miami and Joja’ after this one.‘Jackets were ranked early, but lost to a Kansas squad having a disastrous season. Can’t go against the Hokies on a Thursday night with revenge in their hearts for one of their trio of losses in 2009...VT 34 Wreck 16

SAT. NOV. 6
#1 OREGON over Washington giving 35: Second choice for lock of da’ week (and maybe shoulda’ been first choice!). Jake Locker is out for this one, though it probably wouldn’t have mattered. Mallards conceded the opening fifteen minutes to the Trojans, then left little doubt about who the best the best team is in the 12-PACK. Huskies posted all of 107 total yards of offense in 41-0 shellacking by Stanford. Decoys, now atop the BCS standings, can name the score...Drakes 55 UDUB 17

Hawaii over #2 BOISE STATE taking 21 ½: Again the Warriors get passed over for a ranking. This time by a Reno team they beat at home. Taters allowed 20 in blown cover vs. Weeziana Tech, who managed those points with just 50 more passing yards than rushing yards. ‘Bows outscored Utah State and Idaho the past two weeks by a total of 90-17 en route to current 7-1 ATS record. Hawaii has been the right side four of last five games vs. the Broncos. The lone spread loss came in last year’s 54-9 defeat. Assuming a defeat here, Hawaii finishes 9-3 and plays yet-another post-season game at home against some schmoe from the MWC or C-USA or something. This is basically the ‘Bows’ bowl game of significance. We’ll give the country’s top passing game (and a running game that averages almost two rushing scores per game as well) a shot to cover...Boise 48 Hawaii 37

Tennessee-Chattanooga @ #3 AUBURN: No line.

#4 Texas Christian over #6 UTAH giving 5: No doubt, this will be touted as Game of the Week, maybe of the Year/whatever, over-shadowing what will likely be a great SEC match-up below. Somebody’s national title aspirations bite the big one when this one’s done. Utes have appeared vulnerable twice, including last week when they held a TOP advantage of 13 minutes and got 5 turnovers from Air Force, but were held scoreless in the 4th to escape with a five-point victory. Frogs showed chinks in the amphibian armor maybe just once in opening win over Oregon State. Utes have covered the line in three of the last four vs. TCU, but were 55-28 victims in Ft. Worth last season. Each team faces just its second ranked foe on the year and first since the respective season-opening games. Toads are just 4-4 ATS in last 8 vs. the Top 25. Utah comes in at 6-2-1 in last 9, but we’ll take senior Andy Dalton over his sophomore counterpart Jordan Wynn...TCU 20 Utah 10

#12 LSU over #5 Alabama taking 6 ½: This will either be a low-scoring, 3-point loss and cover by the Bengals or a rout by ‘Bama. The last three years have been decided by an average of 7 points per game. Tide has covered 10 of last 15 against ranked foes, winning 13 of ‘em outright (the losses coming to Utah in the ‘08 season Sugar Bowl and at South Carolina earlier this year). Tide is just 2-2 ATS on the road in 2010. We’ll pass on the 27-9 victory by ‘Bama idea and guess that the Tigers can neutralize the opposing running game, while scoring on defense and/or special teams enough to end up...Bama 16 LSU 13

PURDUE over #7 Wisconsin taking 20: Uggghhhh. Collectively, the Boilers and Badgers have combined to go 4-9-1 ATS on the year. Line puts Purdue in about the same category as the early-season UNLV Rebels, the one FBS team Wisky beat by this many, barely. First game for Wisky following its back-to-back upsets of Ohio State and Iowa and the Cheeseheads are still lousy DD road faves (3-13). Gotta’ snag the handicap here...Badgers 23 Purdue 6

#8 Ohio State: IDLE (next vs. the Nitwit Lions)

#9 Nebraska over IOWA STATE giving 18 ½: Huskers scored just once after first quarter of Mizzou game, but had things well in-hand by then. Even with shocker over Texas, ‘Clones are still 3-7 ATS in past 10 vs. the Top 25 and come in at the 111th-ranked rushing defense. Big Red played most of the game without starting QB Martinez, who is expected to return here. Even if he doesn’t, Huskers reel off average of three rushing scores per game and RB Roy Helu went for 300+ yards against one of the Big 12's best defenses...Children of the Corn 45 ISU 16

#13 Arizona over #10 STANFORD taking 9: ‘Cats will need a solid game from QB Scott after mere 8 point-win over UCLA, in which AZ out-gained the Bruins 583-299, but didn’t put it away until the field goal with 1:18 to play. Stanford is just 2-2 ATS in conference and 1-2 ATS at home on the year. ‘Cats won 43-38 in 2009 and bring their best for ranked opponents, going 9-3 against the line in last dozen, including earlier outright win over a mighty fine Iowa club...Trees 29 AZ 27

TEXAS A&M over #11 Oklahoma taking 3 ½: Line’s been droppin’ like a charge in favor of A&M, who beat Texas Tech easily behind a school record-setting pass performance by back-up QB Ryan Tannehill. Add to the mix an injury-depleted defensive line for the Sooners and Aggies’ close losses vs. Arkansas and at Oklahoma State and ya get a situation similar to the one that preceded Kentucky’s upset of South Carolina...Oklahoma 41 TAMU 39

#14 Missouri over TEXAS TECH (GASP!) giving 4 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Tigers gave up four big scoring plays of 40 yards or more to lose at Nebraska. Tech hasn’t covered in three tries at home, beating SMU before losing to Texas and Oklahoma State. Mizzou defense, in a foul mood, should manhandle Raiders, who bumbled their way to a 3-point push against Colorado. Tigers have covered 5 of last 7 as road favorites...Missouri 41 Texas Tech 20

#15 Iowa over INDIANA giving 17: Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore may have violated NCAA rules by meeting with Hawkeyes hoops recruits prior to the Iowa-Iowa State football game in September. Vindy’s spies report Kutcher invited the prospects to one of the nightly marijuana-smoking circles on the set of That 70's Show and Demi reprised her role in Striptease. And this is a problem?... Birds 31 Hoosiers 12

#16 MICHIGAN STATE over Minnesota giving 24: Gilded Gerbils have little chance this week following Sparty’s humiliating loss at Iowa. Throw in suspensions by interim Minny coach Jeff Horton and MSU’s revenge factor for Gopher’s 42-34 win last season and State has all the inspiration it’s gonna’ need. Gophers may not have already quit on the season, but at least, are in transition to new head guy...Spartans 45 Minny 17

#18 SOUTH CAROLINA over #17 Arkansas giving 3 ½: There should still be a fair number of points scored even though Hogs will play without their top pass-catcher, Childs (gone for the season). Gamehens, ignoring mere 7 scored by Vandy, have allowed the past four opponents to score an average of 28 ppg. In uncommon display of defense, Arkansas held Vandy to just 36 passing yards and 14 points. Come to think of it, we noticed some purple and gold peeking out from underneath Razorbacks’ defenders unis...(and LSU was idle last Saturday... hmmm).... Poultry 34 Pork Loins 28

#19 OKLAHOMA STATE over #22 Baylor giving 7 ½: Cowboys visibly struggled to score points without WR Justin Blackmon at K-State, but he’s back from suspension for this one. Bears off first triumph over the Steers in 13 seasons, but Texas is a mess offensively. Baylor won and covered 3 of its last 4 road games this year, but got pasted at TCU and haven’t finished any closer than 26 in the past four matches between these two...OKSU 41 Bears 31

#21 Mississippi State: IDLE (next @ Alabama)

#23 NC State over CLEMSON taking 3: The week off gave State a chance to re-group and they pulled off the upset of Florida State. A spread victory would let Wolfpack exceed five ATS dubyas in a season for just the second time in six years and NCSU got a couple extra days to rest/prepare off the Thursday nighter. Tigers on 2-3 spread dive and lost 16-10 last week to Boston College. The two major political parties were on opposite sides of nearly every issue recently, except anti-trade sanctions against China....oh...and Vindy’s choice of.....NC State 24 Clemson 19

North Carolina over #24 FLORIDA STATE taking 10: Tarheels took advantage of last week’s home game to squeak by I-AA William & Mary 21-17. UNC has now lost 7 of last 8 games it has allowed the opponent to score more than 17 (including all three this year). Conversely, Carolina has won 12 of last 13 games when holding the other team to 17 or less (including all five wins in 2010). Injuns have scored 17 or less just once this year (in loss at Oklahoma)...FSU 25 UNC 17

#25 Nevada over IDAHO giving 11 ½: Coach Chris Ault cannot be pleased with UNR defense that almost blew a 35-0 halftime lead by allowing 42 second-half points to Utah State. Vandals lost at Hawaii 45-10 last week and collectively, this pair went 1-7 ATS for the month of October. Sharon Angle nearly won her bid to be a Silver State senator this week, but in addressing UNR players after the game late Saturday, shot herself in the foot, saying, “I don’t know that you’re all northern Nevadans. Some of you look a little more Rebel-ish to me.”...Reno 42 Spuds 24

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKSBTW, your fateful (as opposed to faithful) forecaster is among the mere 7% of the population in this berg holding an advanced degree. (Sorry...Prognostication 401 was not part of Vindicator’s master’s curriculum at Richmond! Yeah, yeah...we know...it shows!)

Tony Romo advanced in last May’s preliminary play to go on to the U.S. Open. But every time Jessica Simpson was in the gallery, his putts got intercepted.

Starbucks in Seattle decided to continue allowing customers to carry guns in their establishments. Oooooh...a post-prison job opportunity for Plaxico Burress!

Marijuana-related domain names are being bought up by a proactive entrepreneur in anticipation of pot becoming legal and turning a profit by re-selling the sites. Vindy’s scarfed up a few he probably hasn’t considered, such as.... PointspreadPot.com, BluntBets.Com, FieldGoalGanja.Com RoachClipPicks.Com and our personal fave...The AcupulcoGoldSheet.Com.

Black Shirt: Goes to Oklahoma State Johnny Thomas for the INT return for touchdown that allowed the Cowpokes to cover at K-State.

“Locked in a Box?”: The W-L-W-L pattern continues as Utah cover not cover a simple touchdown at Air Force, lowering the tally to 4-5 (.444).

Shoppe Talk: The Frogs hop away with the cover at UNLV and the Steers (2-6) get a brief respite, but the Buckeyes (3-6) return and are joined by the Volunteers (1-4), the Razorbacks (2-4) and the Hurricanes (2-4).

Vindy’s Week 10 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3-1 Season: 17-24-1 (.415)
Central Florida -2 ½ over HOUSTON (Friday), WEEZIANA TECH + 1 ½ over Fresno State, MEMPHIS +19 ½ over Tennessee Southern Miss -10 over TULANE, UTAH STATE -18 over New Mexico State

Vindy's Picks Week 9-2010

2010-10-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

BOOKS ADOPT TEMPORARY BARTER SYSTEM

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (UPI)....With mid-term elections on the horizon and recognizing economic difficulties, sportsbooks in Sin City are sponsoring a promotion based on a concept offered earlier this year by then-U.S. senatorial candidate Sue Lowden. The Nevada politician spoke to the virtues of a bartering system, in which local doctors once accepted chickens in exchange for medical services. Under “Clucks for Bucks”, bookies, for one weekend, allowed bettors to use the barnyard fowl as collateral to place wagers. As word spread, casinos began looking like free-range farms, and taking advantage of the publicity, companies such as KFC, Popeye’s and Chick-Fil-A had representatives onsite at many of the Strip properties. One anonymous bookmaker said, “I nearly had a coronary when a Perdue tractor-trailer pulled into the parking lot!”

The chalk made its presence known last week as the favorites covered 13 of the 19 ranked games, leaving Vindicator to go just 9-9 (66-75-2, .468) for Week Eight.

That robo-call received by citizens across the entire state of Nevada at 1:00 AM Monday morning was sponsored by members of the Tee Ball Party and Long Island Iced Tea Party in an effort to rally support for...

THE WEBER KID’S 2010 WEEK 9 FORECAST(As released this week by WikiPicks!)

TUES. OCT. 26
#2 BOISE STATE over Louisiana Tech giving 35: Following four straight losses to I-A teams, Bulldogs put together back-to-back victories over Utah State and Idaho, both at home, before taking this past weekend off. LT has been money-burning home dog at 7-20 ATS the last four-plus seasons. Weeziana lost just 45-35 at home last year, but 38-3 and 55-14 in its past two trips to the azure rug. Tech also lost in September 48-16 at Texas A&M, who would likely lose to Boise as well. Bulldogs have two transfer WR from BCS squads who have accounted for four of the team’s nine passing touchdowns, but are just 3rd and 7th, respectively, in reception yardage. Boise is just 3rd in the WAC in passing offense (301 ypg), while Tech comes in at 4th (244 ypg). The truly-significant difference lies in TD-to-INT ratio. Bulldogs have 9 scores and 11 picks, while the Taters show 18 and 1. No reason to believe Spuds won’t carry on in “take no prisoners” mode until at least next week at Hawaii or a month from now at Reno. Putting the ‘Dogs somewhere between Toledo and Wyoming, we’ll say...Tubers 54 Canines 11 (THIS ONE’S IN THE BOOKS AS A LOSS AS LA TECH PULLED OFF THE BACKDOOR COVER, SCORING A USELESS TD WITH UNDER A MINUTE LEFT)

THURS. OCT. 28
#16 Florida State over NC STATE giving 3 ½: Wolfpack was one of 2010's feel-good stories until dropping two of last three games straight-up and ATS, including an OT loss at East Carolina. NCSU could assure itself of no worse than a .500 regular season with the minor upset. ‘Noles haven’t started their annual swoon and are 3-1 ATS in ACC contests this year. We wanna’ believe in the home dog, but just can’t ...FSU 24 NCSU 17.

SAT. OCT. 30
#1 Oregon over #24 USC giving 7: Line looks reasonable given that the Trojans made Stanford sweat and Troy has gone 2-2 SU/ATS in its past four games, winning two by an average of 36 points per game while dropping a pair by total of 3. The Mallards, however, trashed the Cardinal and have plenty of motivation with loss of BCS top spot to Auburn despite 60-13 humiliation of UCLA. Trojans are getting points at home for first time since 2001...Decoys 44 USC 33

#3 Auburn over MISSISSIPPI giving 7: This got a good hard look for lock. We’d consider this line a whole lotta’ love for the Rebels had Auburn’s special teams and vaunted defense not been allowing opponents to keep coming back like Lindsay Lohan to rehab lately! Ole Missus lost by 13 at ‘Bama, 14 at Arkansas (a game in which Mr. Masoli helped the offense ring up 512 yards of offense in a losing effort) and oddly, by 14 to Vandy. Mississippi’s best chance for an SU win the rest of the way is next week hosting the Ragin’ Cagemens of Louisiana...Tigers 29 Mississippi 13

#4 Texas Christian over UNLV giving 35: With Air Force’s touchdown in the first 15 minutes last week, Toads have been scored upon now just once in the last 12 ½ quarters. Rebels have covered both home dog opportunities on the year (but the bye week won and covered last Saturday!). Like Boise, TCU wants to put on a show to hang around the upper-tier of the BCS poll. The Rebels can earn a “badge” by logging in on their Foursquare accounts by cell phone should they actually hit paydirt vs. the Froggies...TCU 44 UNLV 0

#5 Michigan State over #18 IOWA taking 6 ½: Sparty’s on the road for third time in four weeks, but already has two outright wins and covers over a pair of other Top 25 foes. A win here very likely allows State, who rallied from 17 down at Northwestern, to finish the regular season undefeated. Hawkeyes’ home loss to Wisconsin was a team effort...dropped passes on offense, poor coverage and missed/blocked kicks on special teams and inability to stop the Badgers on very short-yardage 3rd and 4th Downs...Michigan State 24 Iowa 22

#6 Alabama: IDLE (next @ LSU)

#14 NEBRASKA over #7 Missouri giving 7 ½: Tigers got their first cover in 9 tries against ranked teams last week, using a big 4th Quarter to pull the upset over the Sooners. Huskers had their own dogfight vs. Oklahoma State. Big Red has covered six straight against the Top 25, but until knocking off then -#17 Cowboys, had been one of two BCS teams to have not won outright over a Top 19 squad since November of 2001 (Duke is now the lone club in that category and we thank Phil Steele for that tidbit!)...Nebraska 27 Mizzou 19

#8 Utah over AIR FORCE giving 7: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Okay, the average margin of victory in this series the last seasons has been five, but these are much different teams this year. Pilots were in the game for one quarter at TCU and were minus their starting fullback. Flyboys are undefeated in four opportunities at home on the year, but are on 0-5 ATS slide. Air Force beat Colorado State by 22. Utes rolled up 650 yards on offense and smacked the Rams by 53! Even if Utes look ahead to the Toads, this is a small enough line that it shouldn’t matter...Utah 27 USAF 12

#9 Wisconsin: IDLE (next @ Purdue)

MINNESOTA over #10 Ohio State taking 25 ½: Despite three TD passes and 299 passing yards from that other Weber kid, Gophers’ first game under new interim coach did not go well (12-point loss at Still-Not-Happy Valley), but Minny has covered both ranked games (vs. USC and at Wisky) and though the Gerbils’ only SU victim so far was Fun Belt club Middle Tennessee State, their average margin of defeat has been less than 10 ppg. Buckeyes vented last week, smoking Purdue 49-0 and didn’t covered either game away from ‘Da Shoe...Brutus 38 Hamsters 16

#11 OKLAHOMA over Colorado giving 24: Best guess for “wish I had it back”. We’d normally expect Oklahoma to blow-out floundering Bison after losing last week, but Sooners’ close wins over non-BCS squads and Cincinnati has us concerned. Buffs, who get this many points for just the third time in last four-plus seasons, lost starting QB Tyler Hansen in the second quarter last week and though he gave a valiant effort, Coach Hawkins’ son Cody couldn’t get it done vs. Texas Tech. CU got crushed at Cal and lost 26-0 at Mizzou...Oklahoma 35 Bison 9

#12 LSU: IDLE (next vs. Alabama)

#13 Stanford over WASHINGTON giving 7 ½: Jake Locker is nursing his ribs. Sled Dogs have somehow knocked off two of the four Top 25 clubs they’ve played (USC and Oregon State in 2OT), while getting blasted by Nebraska and Arizona, who took down UDUB last Saturday with a strong ground game and some decent throws from the second-string QB. Trees are recently 0-3 against the number. We expect that change to here...Stanford 31 Huskies 16

#15 Arizona over UCLA giving 8 ½: Nick Foles probably won’t be at quarterback for the Wildcats, but Matt Scott had little trouble dispatching Washington. UCLA, due to suspensions and injuries of its own, is in disarray and just 2-5 ATS on the year. AZ might look forward to Stanford, but we don’t think so...Arizona 23 UCLA 10

#17 SOUTH CAROLINA over Tennessee giving 17 ½: Another well-played first half went down the drain for Tennessee vs. ‘Bama. Citing youth, inexperience and confusion due to multiple changes in leadership, Vols coach Derek Dooley likened his team to the Germans at Normandy during the Second World War. Uh...yeah...that whole D-Day thing woulda’ worked out much better had the “home team” not been wearing bright orange and singing Rocky Top when the Allies hit the beaches!... Poultry 31 Tennessee 10

Vanderbilt over #19 ARKANSAS taking 20 ½: Commodores kept South Carolina off the board until 12 seconds remained in the first half. Hogs’ defense let Ole Miss hang around until shutting down the Rebels midway thru the 4th quarter. Admirals scored at least 21 in each of their first five games, but just 7 total in the last two...Razorbacks 34 Vandy 17

#20 Oklahoma State over KANSAS STATE giving 5: We’d first look to the “over” on this game. Cowboys score more than 48 ppg, K-State yielded 20 or more in 5 of its 7 games. Wildcats supported Vindy’s 4-1 “best bet” tally last week with a meaningless score in 5-point loss to Baylor, but 40's is not KSU’s usual MO. ‘Cats are 4-2 against the line, but fortunate to get two of those spread wins, and just 2 of last 8 as dogs in Manhattan...OKSU 44 KSU 34

#21 Virginia Tech: IDLE (next vs. Joja’ Tech 11/4)

#22 Miami over VIRGINIA giving 14 ½: Cavs have been unable to take advantage of a schedule that sees them playing their sixth home game in the past nine weeks, posting wins only over I-AA Richmond and VMI, and belting MAC bottom-feeder Eastern Michigan. Virginia is mired in 3-7-1 ATS skein back to 2009. Pelicans are 2-2 ATS on the road (missing at OSU and Duke), but Harris has thrown just one pick in the last two games...Miami 31 Virginia 10

Kentucky over #23 MISSISSIPPI STATE taking 6 ½: Bulldogs found themselves in unexpected field-goal fest vs. feisty UAB. KY got caught celebrating its break-thru upset win by surging Joja’. ‘Cats get the nod to bring the A-game again in another tight one...MSU 24 Kentucky 21

#25 Baylor over TEXAS taking 7 ½: In all honesty, we were expecting Hawaii in this spot of the rankings. Have to figure, Da’ Bears got da’ nod over da’ Bows based on Baylor’s 6-point road win over Colorado, who bombed UH by 18 at home. In May, the Texas State Board of Education re-penned curriculum standards for history classes. In fact, under the new guidelines, the last four BCS titles have actually been won by TCU, Rice, Baylor and...Texas 20 Bears 16

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKSBTW, the original name of the previously-noted casino promotion was “Chicks for Picks”, but was quickly changed after several guys tried to swap their wives, girlfriends and mistresses for wagers!

Ex-FSU player Kamari Charlton was sentenced to be caned in Singapore for wearing out his welcome...actually, his visa. At least Miami fans can say a Seminole was beaten by a ‘Cane once this season!

As the Nitwit Lions prepare to host Big Blew this weekend, we note that a 300-year-old shipwreck was found at the bottom of Lake Michigan this past summer. Researchers thought it was the U.S.S. Wolverines....until finding JoePa’s high school letterman’s jacket onboard.

The Nevada Supreme Court last week upheld OJ Simpson’s armed robbery conviction. The judge appeared from the under the replay hood, turned on his mic and announced that “Upon further review, the call on the field stands!”

Matt Hasselbeck’s character made a cameo appearance on last week’s episode of South Park. Jokingly, the Seattle QB said he’d like to be on The Simpsons. “34...16....hut...hut...D’OH!” Meanwhile, back over on Comedy Central, we’d hear Cartman say, “Oh no! They killed the Seahawks!! Those bastards!!!”

Black Shirt: Goes this week to Michigan State running back Edwin Baker for a late 25-yard run for the covering score vs. Northwestern!

“Wish I Had That One Back”: Vindy wants a mulligan on his Texas -21 pick after starting the game analysis with “It’s still scary layin’ three scores with the ‘Horns”.

“Locked in a Box?”: The Gamehens made us wait for it, but eventually covered at Vandy, raising the record to 4-4 (.500).

Shoppe Talk: Anyone care to join Vindicator in some beef burritos as the Steers come in at 1-6 (.143)??!!. We’ve electrified the lily-pads for the TCU Horny Toads, now at 2-5 (1-5 skid, .286) and are makin’ room for West Virginia (1-4, .200).

Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-1 Season: 16-21 (.432)
Southern Methodist -8 over TULANE, Texas El-Paso +3 over MARSHALL, OHIO -14 ½ over Louisiana (Lafayette), Washington State +21 over ARIZONA STATE, Northwestern -3 over INDIANA

For those about to block (FIRE!!!!).....we saluuuuuuuuute you!

Vindy's Picks Week 9-2010 Early Edition

2010-10-25T17:09:00.000-07:00

THE WEBER KID’S 2010 WEEK 9 FORECAST (EARLY EDITION)

TUES. OCT. 26
#2 BOISE STATE over Louisiana Tech giving 35: Following four straight losses to I-A teams, Bulldogs put together back-to-back victories over Utah State and Idaho, both at home, before taking this past weekend off. LT has been money-burning home dog at 7-20 ATS the last four-plus seasons. Weeziana lost just 45-35 at home last year, but 38-3 and 55-14 in its past two trips to the azure rug. Tech also lost in September 48-16 at Texas A&M, who would likely lose to Boise as well. Bulldogs have two transfer WR from BCS squads who have accounted for four of the team’s nine passing touchdowns, but are just 3rd and 7th, respectively, in reception yardage. Boise is just 3rd in the WAC in passing offense (301 ypg), while Tech comes in at 4th (244 ypg). The truly-significant difference lies in TD-to-INT ratio. Bulldogs have 9 scores and 11 picks, while the Taters show 18 and 1. No reason to believe Spuds won’t carry on in “take no prisoners” mode until at least next week at Hawaii or a month from now at Reno. Putting the ‘Dogs somewhere between Toledo and Wyoming, we’ll say...Tubers 54 Canines 11

We'll back Wednesday night with the rest of the usual forecast en toto (and maybe with Dorothy too!). Stay tuned!