Wednesday, September 26, 2018
BACK-UP BETTOR RELEGATED TO RETRO TRANSPORTATION
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (BBC)…At the beginning of this year’s Major League Baseball season, the Arizona Diamondbacks resurrected the concept of getting relievers from the bullpen to the mound via motorized-cart, which last occurred in the mid-90's. Increasing customer service, casinos implemented a similar procedure to transport relief-bettors to the sportsbook counter. Having failed to produce winning-wagers on a regular-basis, the Vegas Vindicator experimented with travel by Hobby Horse, Big Wheel and even a Segway scooter a la “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” fame. The Gaming Control Board has now limited the prestigious prognosticator to a classic “Sit-N-Spin" when called-upon in a reserve role.
Opening Week 4 at 2-9-1 through the first dozen finals had us seriously-pondering retiring the Picks early this season, but a furious late-Saturday-rally fell just short to get us to within a game of .500 at 10-11-1 (31-38-2, .449).
Speaking of retro, in June, scientists asserted the Alamo meteor strike cratered what is now the Nevada National Security Site almost 400 million years ago. Those of us at Vindy's Picks, however, know fer certain that the actual impact-in-question was created by an early-draft of...
THE WEBER KID’S 2018 WEEK 5 FORECAST
(Gettin' Peyton Manning’s band back together!)
THURS. SEPT. 27
North Carolina (+19) over #16 MIAMI: Pre-Saturday chalk has won ATS in 5 of 7 opportunities. ‘Heels finally came to play in 38-35 win over Pitt last week following two losses and a rain-out (one of those losses was 13-player suspensions/7-point defeat by Berkley Bears team now in the Top 25). Third roadie in four tilts for Carolina, but last two years in this series have been close, with ‘Canes taking a 24-19 decision in Chapel Hill last season and UNC beating Da’ U here 20-13 in 2016. ‘Heels are nearly full-strength having almost completely weathered the aforementioned early-season suspensions...Pelicans 27 UNC 17
SAT. SEPT. 29
#1 ALABAMA (-49) over Louisiana-Lafayette: Nick Saban, this week, implored the media to write bad things about his team to keep them from getting' too big fer their britches. Do we hear that message as “Troll Tide!”???!!! How’s that fer bulletin-board-material/impetus for the players to annihilate the next opponent???!!! Only lowly-Arkansas Bacon Bits await the Tide. We haven’t picked a ‘Bama-game correctly yet! Grrrrrrr!!!!...Tide 64 Ragin’ Cajuns 10
#2 GEORGIA (-32) over Tennessee: Joja’ 48 Vols 3
Syracuse (+24) over #3 CLEMSON: Tigers 38 Orange 28
#9 PENN STATE (+3 ½) over #4 Ohio State: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. We had the Illini with four touchdowns last week and Lions put up 35 points in the final stanza to win by 39? Couldn’t they have just gone up 21 points, turned it over to the D and called it a week???!!! PSU falls into Marc Lawrence’s recommendation to back the home-dog in battle of unbeatens if visitor is permitting more than 14 ppg...sadly, that strategy failed badly for INDY +5 vs. Michigan State, losing by two touchdowns! In fact, we took both teams’ dog-opponents in a look-ahead to each other. Said-faves won by a combined 112-35, covering both. Lions lost crazy 39-38 affair in Columbus in 2017. OSU QB Dwayne Haskins lit-up Tulane at Da’ Shoe last week, but makes his first start in Happy Valley amidst a hostile “white-out” and Buckeyes are minus DE Bosa til November...Nits 31 Buckeyes 27
#5 LSU (-12) over Mississippi: Bengals played-out their letdown-week off last-second victory at Auburn, as predicted, but still beat Weeziana Tech (+21) by 17. We expect full-focus this week from Tigers-squad that’s now covered 8 of last 9 SEC contests. Rebels’ 62-7 defeat at ‘Bama gives us no compelling reason to support Old Mist here...State 29 Mississippi 10
Baylor @ #6 OKLAHOMA (“over 68 ½”): Sooners 44 Bears 31
#8 NOTRE DAME (-5 ½) over #7 Stanford: We admit to seriously-overthinking putting the Irish on upset-alert at Wake Forest in Week 4. SU has won outright last three years in this series (twice as +3 dog). Leprechauns have covered 3 of last 4 and nine of past Baker’s Dozen vs. Power-Five foes. Trees stand tall at 5-1 ATS last half-dozen vs. ranked teams. During the preseason, we almost purchased a 20-1 futures ticket on ND to win the National Title. The pair of clubs have combined for 5-2 “under” record so far. Our Lady boasts dual-threat QB Ian Book. Trees rallied late to win and cover in OT at Oregon, cashing our “lock of da’ week”. Due to injury-bug, Cardinal changes starting O-linemen like Vindy changes underwear...once-a-week whether he needs to or not...Catholics 24 SU 16
Southern Miss (+27) over #10 AUBURN: Tigers 40 USM 17
#20 Brigham Young (+17) over #11 WASHINGTON: Second-choice fer “lock”. These ain’t yer daddy’s Mormons. Coogs record vs. this conference is 6-2 ATS over last eight. Not unlike Stanford-Notre Dame clash, both sides here show collective 6-0 “under” run. Cougars-of-Yore woulda’ simply been target-practice for Seattle Samoyeds, but after besting Wisconsin in Madison...”in Tanner Mangum, we believe”. Sled Dogs have lost just one 12-PAC match in each of past three seasons and away-game at UCLA on-deck won’t provide much, if any, distraction. This might be it, but we’ll conservatively-predict... Washington 19 BYU 14
#12 West Virginia (-3 ½) over #25 TEXAS TECH: Mounties 34 TTU 27
#13 CENTRAL FLORIDA (-13 ½) over Pittsburgh: Knights 44 Panthers 17
#14 Michigan (-13 ½) over IOWA: Wolverines 30 Hawkeyes 13
#15 Wisconsin: IDLE (next vs. Nebraska)
#17 KENTUCKY (-1) over South Carolina: Bluegrass Burmese are allowing just north of 13 ppg and are enjoying first 4-0 SU start since 2008, which should keep the concentration here rather than on next Saturday’s trek to College Station. Gamehens got waxed 41-17 at Joja’, but allowed 29 total points over the other two contests. ‘Cats have won and covered last three years in the series, which have been relatively low-scoring affairs with totals of 48, 27 and 36. “Under 51” might ultimately turn-out to be the better-choice, but we’ll say...KY 23 Poultry 19
KANSAS STATE (+9) over #18 Texas: UPSET ALERT. We salute the ‘Horns D fer multiple take-aways in second-half of otherwise tight-melee vs. TCU to validate our minor upset pick. Purple Persians always manage to jump-up and bite somebody hard, including 45-40 win at Oklahoma State in 2017, getting almost three touchdowns. Red River Rivalry casts a blinding-beacon this week on the Steers. Cattle took two of three scoreboard and point-spread wins in past three seasons, but SU/ATS “L” was here in 2016...24-21. Last year’s tilt went to 2OT in 40-34 Texas victory. Marc Lawrence notes homer in this one takes the betting-money in last six...Texas 28 KSU 27
#19 Oregon (-3) over #24 CALIFORNIA: Quack Attack 29 Berkley 21
Central Michigan (+28) over #21 MICHIGAN STATE: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Chippies slogged through 17-5 win over then-FCS #16 Maine last week and lost by just 15 at now-ranked Kentucky to show 9-3 road-doggie record in last dozen tries. CMU has lotsa’ upperclassmen on the roster. Close-win over USU and outright-loss at Arizona make the Centurions hard-to-read...and in any case, do not compel us to lay four-touchdowns. Sparty’s not blowin’-out opponents nor are the Chippewas bein’ blown-out...MSU 24 CMU 9
Virginia Tech (+5) over #22 DUKE: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK....Hokies 24 Devils 21
#23 MISSISSIPPI STATE (-7 ½) over Florida: Clubs share a common-defeat...to/at Kentucky. Gators lost by 11 in Gainesville. Bulldogs by 21 in Lexington. UF flattened another-struggling Vols team behind six turnovers. Wildcats shutdown State’s running game, but Crocs stand-in at #97 nationally in rush D. ‘Nuff said. MSU rebounds... Bulldogs 28 Florida 14
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW, Vindy, rebelling against casino-security, having never hit-fer-da'-the-unicycle (cashing a straight-bet and parlays of two-, three- and four-teams over the same-weekend) has just ordered a 1968 Hoppity-Hop! We'll show them!
In a classy move, Fins’ newbie-DB Minkah Fitzpatrick agreed to allow Tampa QB Ryan Fitzpatrick to also bear the nickname “FitzMagic”. From our point-of-view, da’ coveted-label gets awarded to whichever player can pull a rabbit outta’ his helmet!
Unfortunately, the above-referenced quarterback went from Fitz-Magic to Sh*tz-Magic in the first 30 minutes vs. the Steelers with multiple turnovers/picks! Uggghh!
Last July, former Gator and multiple NFL teams’ QB (and MLB wanna-be)Tim Tebow confirmed he had a relationship with Miss Universe. He emphasized the past-tense because he immediately threw a quick-out route and broke-up with Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters upon learning she was Miss Universe rather than Miss Uniform! (Or maybe it was because he’d never fit “Tim Tebow-Nel Peters” across the back of his jersey!)
If an elk-in-heat rubs his antlers on a QB’s helmet, does the animal draw a flag for “rutting the passer”???!!!
Bizarre random thought...What if jockeys had to attend college, then announce their names and schools ahead of the Kentucky Derby, Preakness and Belmont races?..."Bob Baffert...Alabama.", "Keith Desormeaux...Fresno State.", "Todd Pletcher...Bowling Green.", "Chad Brown...THE Ohio State University!"
In related news, Vindy’s becoming proficient in getting the bookie flagged for “falling with all or most of (his) body-weight on da’ bettor!”
With the Major League Baseball playoffs approaching, we note MLB implemented a twenty-second pitch-clock this season in order to shorten the average-length of games. We’ve repeatedly-recommended a similarly-timed pick-clock to the Nevada Gaming Control Board to reduce wait-times for bettors standing-behind folks burning lotsa’ time at da’ sportsbook-counter still deciding on their wagers, holding-up the rest of us, who have things-to-see and people-to-do!
“Wish We Had It Back”: We’d like a mulligan for calling Florida Atlantic +13 ½ over UCF after ruing last year’s points-allowed and noting the defense had already given up 27 points to USAF and 28 to Bethune-Cookman! Owls yielded 56 to the Knights!
“Locked In A Box”: The Cardinal came-through in extras at Eugene to put us at 2-1 (.667)!
“Black Shirt”: The onyx undergarment goes to Mallards freshman RB CJ Verdell fer fumbling at the Stanford 40 with under a minute left, allowing the Trees to kick tying FG and ultimately win and cover in OT, bringin’ home our “lock of da’ week”!
Shoppe Talk: We’re linin’ da’ crowded-this-week Shoppe walls with elephant tusks and puttin’ on a scrimshaw display in wake of ‘Bama’s now 0-4 (.000) picks-record. The Sugar Canes of Miami enter at 0-3 (.000). Tiger-skin rugs adorn the Shoppe-floors as Clemson moves to 1-2 (.667) and 7-19-2 (.269) the past 28 appearances! The Alma Mater (GASP!) shows up to be joined by the OSU Suck-Eyes and Meeshigan Big Blew, all at 1-3 (.250)!
Vindy’s Week 5 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: Back-in-black at 9-7-1 (.563)
BALL STATE –8 over Kent State, Virginia +6 over NC STATE, Brigham Young-UDUB “under 46”, Toledo +8 ½ over FRESNO STATE, UTSA –10 over Texas-El Pastor
Next week....Hockey! Hockey! Hockey! Hockey!