Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Vindy's Picks Week 10-2012

INCUMBENT CLARIFIES “COLLEGE” PROMISE

BOCA RATON, Florida (Reuters)…
In August, President Obama pledged to “make college available to everyone”. Supporters, opponents and media took that to mean unconditional access to higher-education. But at the latest tete-a-tete between candidates here last week, Obama said he actually meant he would ensure all Americans could watch NCAA football regardless of economic status or location, noting he would work with providers, such as DirecTV, to “establish government-subsidized satellite coverage so all of the nation’s people can tune in to games such as Ohio State-Michigan, or even Citadel-Wofford”, as they see fit.

Our 4-15 plummet in Week Nine (76-84, .475) made Felix Baumgartner’s skydive-from-space look like a jump off the top-rung of a step-ladder and might as well have been picked by Honey Boo-Boo. Vindicator now heads out to trick-or-treat in Green Bay as the most horrifying creature the locals can imagine…a replacement NFL referee…but not before carving scary eyes and a jagged-mouth into…

THE WEBER KID’S 2012 WEEK 10 FORECAST
(As mumbled to an empty chair by Clint Eastwood)

SAT. NOV. 3
#5 LSU (+9 ½) over #1 Alabama:
Fourth match-up of these two in last 24 months. We have fared better this season taking the ‘dog with the points in rivalries like this than we expect some sort of break from the traditional trends. Bengals have won and covered 2 of the last 3 and no doubt circled this one after 21-0 loss in 2011 season title game. We’d love to see the Tigers make it three wins in four tries and complicate the BCS. Not convinced anybody can beat the Tide, but again, we offer State’s remarkable Death Valley 24-1 SU win record since start of 2009. ‘Bama’s covered three straight and all four outside Tuscaloosa. LSU was even in turnover-margin and yielded one sack in last year’s regular-season win, but was minus-two turnovers and gave up 4 sacks in championship game demise. Could come down to LSU’s rush defense vs. Elephants stellar ball-carriers…Alabama 19 LSU 13

#2 Oregon (-7) over #18 USC: Ducks 44 USC 31

#3 KANSAS STATE (-9) over Oklahoma State: Purple Persians will look to avenge one of just two regular-season defeats in 2011. KSU won by 5 at Oklahoma and by only 6 at Iowa State, but recently smoked highly-touted conference opponents West Virginia and Texas Tech by combined 110-38. Cowpokes whipped Horny Toad squad off 3OT loss last week, but got clobbered at Arizona and struggled in 20-14 home victory vs. poor Kansas team. Wildcats have hit da’ board for 51 or more in four of five games in Manhattan this year. Unless Klein leaves early with an injury…KSU 52 OKSU 38

Pittsburgh (+16 ½) over #4 NOTRE DAME: The defense remains stellar and Leprechauns as a whole were nearly flawless in upset over Oklahoma….no turnovers and just one penalty for 5 yards. Sooners QB Landry Jones did have a big passing day in the losing effort and Pitt’s senior quarterback Tino Sunseri is one of the top-rated passers in the country. Panthers have recorded back-to-back wins after opening 2-4. Last four games in this series have been tight, all decided by 6 or less…Catholics 26 Pitt 17

#6 OHIO STATE (-26 ½) over Illinois: OSU 38 Illini 6

Mississippi (+14) over #7 GEORGIA: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Even formerly-Weber-friendly Joja’ (5-2 in 7 forecast appearances entering the Florida game) lowered the boom on our humble narrator last week, toppling the Gators in a slopper that saw nine combined turnovers and 24 flags (though Week Ten’s Penalty-a-Palooza title went to Arizona-USC…27 hankies for 246 yards!!!). Aaron Murray wasn’t special, accounting for all three Dawgs miscues via INT, but got it done. Ole Mist has won the money in six of seven FBS games (losing ATS only in embarrassing loss at Texas), beating the line in 19-point loss at ‘Bama and three-point defeat vs. A&M before beating Auburn and Arkansas. We’ll gladly take almost two scores here with Georgia historically-dismal ATS after notchin’ an upset and Rebels already 4-0 ATS in SEC play this season. Given the upsets in the 2012 books, it’s a possibility here, but again, we’ll go punt-safe and say…UGA 23 Rebels 20

#8 FLORIDA (-15 ½) over Missouri: Gators 27 Mizzou 7

#9 Florida State: IDLE (next 11/8 @ Virginia Tech)

#10 Clemson (-13 ½) over DUKE: We incorrectly noted in last week’s picks that Duke needed one more win to be bowl-eligible, when in fact, the Devils already have the requisite six. Clemson was one of our four correct selections amidst the rubble of Week Ten, belting Wake Forest in Thursday-nighter that saw Taj Boyd throw for 428 yards, with nearly half of those going to Sammy Watkins…who isn’t even (anybody else notice how many times we’ve said “even” this week??!!) the leading receiver on the squad. Tigers picked up a rare double-digit road fave cover in that one (now 3-9 in last dozen spots in that role). Blue Devils have won and covered all four games in Durham on the year. CU’s margin-of-victory has increased steadily over last three games from 14 to 29. Ironically, while Tigers trail Atlantic Division leader Florida State by one, Duke, at 3-2, is tied atop the ACC Coastal Division…Clemson 31 Duke 14

#11 South Carolina: IDLE (next vs. Arkansas)

Temple (+14 ½) over #12 LOUISVILLE: Cardinals 24 Owls 13

#13 OREGON STATE (-4 ½) over Arizona State: Beavers stewing over stunning road loss to UDUB. We think maybe QB Sean Mannion, who tossed a pair of interceptions in the final stanza, is still feeling after-effects of earlier injury and maybe the second-stringer needs to get some more live snaps. However, we expect solid effort to take out visiting Sun Devils, who could be tired after losing back-and-forth 45-43 shootout to UCLA on heels of field goal with nuthin’ on the clock last week. Beavers lost 35-20 in Tempe in 2011 after taking the previous three years by 2, 11 and 2. State is 2-1 SU/ATS on the road, with victories at Cal and (duh) Colorado. OSU looks like one of two conference clubs that’s truly interested in the 12-PACK crown…Beavers 20 Pitchforks 10

#14 Oklahoma (-10 ½) over IOWA STATE: Spooners 29 ISU 16

COLORADO (+27 ½) over #15 Stanford: Let’s face it…the Bison blow. Not because they gave up 70 to the Oregon juggernaut, but because they couldn’t score more than 14 last week and have lit the scoreboard for more than 17 just twice all year. But Cardinal is having issues at quarterback and not deft on offense this year either. We’re a glutton for punishment and give Colorado the nod again. They may not even need points to cover… Stanford 23 Buffalo Wings 0

#17 MISSISSIPPI STATE (+6 ½) over #16 Texas A&M: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1…State 31 A&M 28

San Diego State (+13 ½) over #19 BOISE STATE: Broncos have won all four home games, but only 2-2 ATS. SDSU is just a game back in the loss column behind BSU for the conference lead. Defensive edge again goes to the Broncos, but Aztecs ground game might keep them in this long enough, given 9-point loss at Washington and 12-point loss at Fresno. Aztecs coach Rocky Long helped bring about the NCAA ban on Broncos’ all-azure unis when hosting Mountain Jest opponents. In response, the BSU players will wear blue contact-lenses and nail-polish, just to weird them out…Broncos 27 SDSU 17

Texas (+6 ½) over #20 TEXAS TECH (GASP!): UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2…Steers 38 Tech 34

MICHIGAN STATE (+1) over #21 Nebraska: Big Dread has one road victory in three tries this year. Spartans are having disappointing season but have been very competitive. Huskers scored touchdowns in the first- and fourth quarters as bookends to what was otherwise a battle of kickers. Nebraska is atop the Legends Division of the Big Tenement at 3-1, but a State win here could make things real interesting. We’ll back MSU’s top 10 scoring defense to keep Nebraska RB Abdullah under wraps and lead the way to a victory for the home team…Sparty 19 Nebraska 17

Texas-San Antonio (+32) over #22 LOUISIANA TECH: Bulldogs 54 UTSA 27

#23 WEST VIRGINIA (-7) over Texas Christian: Mounties’ QB Geno Smith has been kept quiet the last two weeks in bad losses to the Red Raiders and the Wildcats, with WVU scoring just 14 in each of those contests (7 of which came on 100-yard kickoff return vs. K-State). Usually-defensively-stout Horny Toads have lost three of last four games outright, yielding 37.5 ppg in that span. The fact that West Virginia is still ranked says something about the continuing belief in its offense, despite the tendency to simply outscore opponents rather than stop them. WVU did get a bye last week and fares well with time off…’Ears 41 Frogs 30

#24 Arizona (+3) over #25 UCLA: Arizona 27 UCLA 23

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, Obama’s last-minute campaign slogan is…”A chicken in every pot, an Ohio State-discount car in every garage and a satellite dish on every roof!”

Forgot to mention last week that Florida was flagged for “roughing the snapper” in the South Carolina game. Thought we heard “roughy and snapper” and had accidentally tuned in to some kinda’ “Field & Stream” segment on Animal Planet or The Discovery Channel!

Favorite play on offense for the Zombies football team? “Student-body left-overs”!

Is it just us or does anybody out there who’s seen the beginning of Rocky Horror Picture Show think the actor who plays Ralph Hapschatt in the wedding scene looks an awful lot like…Peyton Manning!

In the same vein, anybody out there, besides your humble host, think NYG owner Raymond Berry looks a bit like Burgess Meredith in his “Twilight Zone” days???!!!

Playing on a continuous loop in all the multiplex theatres at the Leon Out-Lett Mall…“Dawn of the Dead-Ball Foul”.

Barack Obama was quoted earlier this season as saying, “If you hit a five-team parlay, you didn’t bet that. Someone else made that happen.”

Newt Gingrich promised a colony on the moon if elected president. Guess who the Toledo Rockets are hoping gets to the White House as a write-in candidate!

Vindy was in Jacksonville for da’ Florida-Georgia game and decided to take advantage of the opportunity to cast his early presidential-election ballot. For inquiring minds who wanna’ know…yes, we voted along cocktail-party lines!

Earlier this month, ten North Dakota State players were suspended for roles in forging signatures they were hired to get on ballot measure petitions. Guess that explains how they got the votes to be #1 in the FCS poll all these weeks, don’t it???!! Gotta’ love a team that can stuff the run…and da’ ballot-box!

In support of a certain beloved Sesame Street character that got dissed, we recommend the temporary name-changes of certain regional groupings of college teams to the Big Bird Ten, Big Bird 12 and Big Bird East conferences!

Honoring a certain rookie from 2011-12, we acknowledge the start of the NBA regular-season with one word…”Vinsanity”!!!!

Black Shirt: Goes to Irish QB Everett Golson for leading Notre Dame to a big 4th Quarter and bringing Vindy’s upset pick of da’ week to pass!

“Locked in a Box?”: The MSU Bulldogs put up little resistance vs. the Tide, dropping the tally to 2-7 (.222)

Shoppe Talk: Leading candidate for the post-season Grill-Master Supreme award USC (1-7, .125) did it to us again. On the radar…West Virginia (1-5, .167), UCLA (0-4, .000) and Florida State (2-5, .285).

Vindy’s Week 10 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: 23-20 (.535)

Vandy -7 ½ over KENTUCKY, Boston College +3 ½ over WAKE FOREST, INDIANA -1 ½ over Iowa, Florida Atlantic +15 ½ over NAVY, WEEZIANA-MONROE -10 over Weeziana-Lafayette

Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re to off to pre-order our “2013 Women of Friday the 13th” calendar!

BTW…”Who ya gonna’ call?”…Vindi-cator! (He ain’t afraid of no toast!)



Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Vindy's Picks Week 9-2012

CLINTON TAKES ONE FOR THE TEAM(S)

WASHINGTON, District of Columbia (CNN)…Protecting the Commander-in-Chief, Hillary Clinton threw herself on a live political grenade, declaring the terrorist strike in Libya to be “my bad”. The Secretary of State then surprisingly copped to her failures to prevent the 2012 Olympic women’s badminton snafu, Bobby Petrino’s affair and motorcycle crash, Seattle’s “Hail Mary TD” win over Green Bay, the Cleveland Browns and Lance Armstrong’s use of PEDs. While pundits suggested she torpedoed any potential future runs for the Oval Office, NCAA athletic directors and NFL team owners across the country said such contriteness opens the opportunity for Clinton to become the first female head football coach at the FBS or NFL level, and representatives from several squads are reportedly seeking permission from the White House to contact Clinton about current or anticipated vacancies!

Following an okay 12-9 (72-69, .510) for Week Eight, we show off our binder full of linemen and…

THE WEBER KID’S 2012 WEEK 9 FORECAST
(More uncomfortable than Floyd Mayweather’s jail cell!)

THURS. OCT. 25
#14 Clemson (-12) over WAKE FOREST:
Tigers 29 Deacons 14

FRI. OCT. 26
#16 LOUISVILLE (-3 ½) over Cincinnati:
Cincy was upset last week by Toledo, who grabbed a 29-23 triumph without the benefit of an offensive touchdown, and UC dropped outta’ the Top 25. Teddy Bridgewater, one of top passers in the country, and the Cards edged a reeling South Florida team on a late scoring pass. Louisville still playing very-competitive games, with five straight decided by 10 or less (and four by seven or fewer). Cincy has owned this series four consecutive years, winning last year 25-16 while Birds were in the midst of a 1-4 SU demise …Louisville 17 Bearkats 10

SAT.OCT. 27
#13 Mississippi State (+23 ½) over #1 ALABAMA: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK.
Tide better be careful here. Bulldogs will be up for this one, while Elephants might be peeking to next week’s trek to Death Valley. It was interesting to note McCarron’s 306 passing yards in win over Tennessee considering solid running game at ‘Bama’s disposal. Look for the QB to return to simple game-management mode vs. State team that defends the pass well… ‘Bama 30 MSU 16

Colorado (+45 ½) over #2 OREGON: This got a serious look for “lock”. ‘Bison had as many turnovers as points (six) last week vs. the Trojans. If they spent this week practicing ball security, Drakes will no doubt let ‘em hit paydirt a couple times. With that team from L.A. on the horizon, it’s a classic look-ahead for…Mallards 52 Buffaloed 14

#3 Florida (-6 ½) over #12 Georgia (@ Jacksonville, FL): Penalties continue to pile-up for the Gators (see our stat of da’ week below), but didn’t hurt ‘em in laugher over Carolina. ‘Dawgs held on during the final four minutes vs. Kentucky, who almost caught Joja’ sleepin’. Battle of wills as defense-minded Florida (allowing just north of 12 ppg) tries to corral UGA (scoring almost 40 ppg). Last two years have featured nail-biters, with Gators winning 34-31 in 2010 and Bulldogs rebounding in 2011 with a 24-20 victory. Dawg Pound not a good wager vs. Top 25, covering just 3 of last 14 and giving Florida the SU win in 7 of last 10 years…Crocs 19 UGA 10

#15 Texas Tech (+7) over #4 KANSAS STATE: KSU 30 Tech 26

#5 Notre Dame (+10 ½) over #8 OKLAHOMA: UPSET PICK OF DA' WEEK. Sooners are surging with 3-0 SU/ATS run in which they’ve outscored Texas Tech, Texas and Kansas 156-48. Irish went scoreless in the final 12 minutes, but preserved 17-14 home win vs. desperate Cougars. The ND ground game was instrumental as the quarterbacks did little. Leprechauns will need a similar output here in another match-up of polar-opposites…ND allows 9.4 ppg. Sooners lighting it up for better than fitty per game of late. OK on 11-6 home chalk run against Division I-A teams. We’ll favor Catholics’ overall strength-of-schedule thus far and say…Notre Dame 27 Okie-Doke 24

#6 LSU: IDLE (next vs. Alabama)

#7 Oregon State (-4) over WASHINGTON: Beavers 24 UDUB 14

PENN STATE (PK) over #9 Ohio State: We’ll call this a Brig 10 match-up since neither club is eligible for a bowl due to sanctions. Lions, as the home squad, will wear the horizontal black-and-white stripes, while Buckeyes will take the field in the visiting orange jumpsuits! In mid-September, it looked like it was gonna’ be a losing season in Happy Valley. Now the Lions have a legitimate shot to win this and Buckeyes have looked vulnerable three of the past four games, were lucky to beat Purdue in extra frames last week and may start a banged-up quarterback. OSU has beaten all three teams to whom it lost in 2011. Lions and Wolverines are the remaining clubs in that category. Again, we look first to the “under” despite consecutive “overs” by the alma mater…We Are 13 OSU 10

#10 Southern Cal @ ARIZONA (+6 ½): USC 37 AZ 24

Duke (+28) over #11 FLORIDA STATE: Since getting bashed at Stanford in early September, Blue Devils have won five of six games straight-up, including 33-30 upset last week over North Carolina as 10-point dog, and should come into Tallahassee with some confidence. ‘Noles beat Miami, but are on 1-4 ATS skid. Duke needs one more win to be eligible for first potential bowl-berth since 1994. Devils scored 21 or more just four times in 2011. They’ve posted 33 or better six times already this year. We like the ‘dog with four touchdowns…FSU 37 Duke 14

#17 SOUTH CAROLINA (-14) over Tennessee: Gamehens put the Gators victory on a silver platter much the way the Wolverines rolled over early vs. Alabama, and that comedy-of-errors had us tuning away from CBS and into the Friday the 13th marathon on AMC PDQ. Granted, Marcus Lattimore was not completely healthy, but special teams baked da’ Chicken in the 1st Quarter. Rocky Top made a game of the first-half vs. same Crimson Tide last week, but again, old habits die hard and Vols faltered late to give Tide the cover. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com notes the road club in this one has covered 13 of 15, but we’ll give the coaching and talent edges to Carolina…Poultry 38 UT 13

Kent State @ #18 RUTGERS (-13 ½): We agonized over this one and have no faith in this call…Rutgers 24 Kent State 17

#19 STANFORD (-24) over Washington State: Stanford 41 Wazzou 13

#20 Michigan (+2 ½) over NEBRASKA: Michigan 23 Big Dread 17

#21 Boise State (-16 ½) over WYOMING: Cowpokes only SU dubya came by 3 at Idaho. Broncos let UNLV cover 27-point line with a late defensive score. Wyoming’s three home defeats this year are by total of 6 points (but include losses to defense-challenged Toledo and AA Cal Poly). Wyoming has a middle-of-the-pack offense and is bottom or near-bottom in all other Mountain Jest statistical categories. Not good news facing conference’s top D and nationally-ranked scoring D. Cowboys’ coach Dave Christensen will sit this one out in the wake of some unkind words for Air Force coach Troy Calhoun and his military tenure at the end of the one-point loss two weeks ago. We watched the video of the incident and think Big Dave was just acknowledging his interest in the F-Bomber-22! As an olive branch to the NCAA, Wyoming will be led here by Tom Cruise, reprising his role as Maverick in Top Gun (yes, we know those were Navy pilots), who will inspire the home-club with a pregame speech imploring the boys to “never leave yer Wing-T man!”…BSU 31 Cowpokes 10

AUBURN (+14) over #22 Texas A&M: Aggies 27 War Eagle 19

#23 Ohio (-6 ½) @ MIAMI-OHIO: How good does season-opening road win at Beaver Stadium look right about now for da’ undefeated Bobblecats???!!! Both sides allowing way more points-against than last year’s versions did, with each yielding about 33 ppg over last three MAC games and are combined 3-9 ATS. Redhawks let Cincy bang da’ board for 52. We’re giving the nod to OU’s rushing game over Miami-O’s offense. Line appears to be mighty close…’Cats 41 Birds 34

#24 Louisiana Tech (-30) over NEW MEXICO STATE: Bulldogs 49 NMSU 14

#25 West Virginia: IDLE (next vs. TCU)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, Hillary continued to embrace her role as fall-guy (fall-gal?) and later offered mia culpas for Sam Fickens’ missed-kicks, Vindy’s Weeks 3 and 4 Picks, and in a pre-emptive strike, any possible Lindsay Lohan-Charlie Sheen love-child!

In July, Clinton finished a 13-day whirlwind tour of France, Afghanistan, Japan, Mongolia, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Egypt and Israel…or what the NCAA will refer to next season as…the Big East Conference!

College pigskin stat of da’ week…Florida, Florida State and Florida International currently rank 109 (7.0), 110 (8.0) and 114 (8.4), respectively, in penalties per game. Can’t spell “flag” without “F-L-A”!!!! There is historical precedent, however, as Ponce De Leon, who discovered the Sunshine State in 1513, woulda’ got there five years sooner had it not been for the “illegal formation call” (too many boats on the line-of-scrimmage)!

Speaking of yellow hankies, we can’t wait for the first one to get thrown in Lions-Buckeyes game and hear the referee say, “Holding…number 49628713 on the offense…ten-year penalty…still First-Down!”

“Tebowing” is now trade-marked???!!! “Pay to pray”???!!! So, under da’ same logic, Heisman gets a cut every time some collegian strikes da’ pose???!!! Come to think of it, so does Madonna???!!!

A certain New Zealand berg is changing its official name to “The Middle of Middle-Earth” in honor of the December premiere of “The Hobbit”. Ironically, last season’s national titlist and opening-BCS poll number one, Alabama, is altering the hometown handle to “The Center of the BCS”!!! (“‘Bama College Supremacy”???!!!)

Black Shirt: Goes to Texas Tech (GASP!) QB Seth Doege for six (count ‘em, six!) TD passes vs. TCU, including last one in third-overtime to win and cover!

“Locked in a Box?”: The Beavers got it done vs. Utah, raising our lock tally to 2-6 (.250).

Shoppe Talk: Da’ ‘Eers, Red Raiders (GASP!) and Seminoles all showed up on the right side of the spread, but the Trojans re-announce their presence to go to 1-5 (.167)!

Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-2 Season: 20-19 (.513)
Ball State -6 over ARMY, NC State +7 over NORTH CAROLINA, Western Kentucky -7 over Florida International, Syracuse +3 over SOUTH FLORIDA

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Vindy's Picks Week 8-2012

FAMOUS SOCK GOES TO INFAMOUS BUYER

LOVELOCK, Nevada (AP)…OJ Simpson finally acquired some memorabilia legitimately…by placing the winning bid in an auction for the blood-soaked sock, worn by Curt Schilling during the Red Sox 2004 World Series run. The ex-Boston hurler had to sell the historical garment to compensate for financial difficulties. Removed from its display at Cooperstown as ceremoniously as it was unveiled in its inaugural placement at the MLB hall-of-fame museum, the sock was quickly whisked into the back of a waiting prison vehicle, complete with weapon-packing escort, and transported westward. The former NFL star, acquitted of murder, but jailed, ironically, for armed robbery involving his sports-souvenirs, said he wanted the flawed footwear “because it matches the glove”. Upon learning of the transaction, Dream-Teamer Johnnie Cochran, who, still goin’ to-bat for his former client, said, “If da’ sock don’t fit…you ain’t got spit..!”

Down 2-6 early, your numbskull-narrator staged a comeback in the night-games to finish 8-8 for Week Seven (60-60, .500). Vindicator, fresh off yet-another viewing of The Shining, shoves his face between the bars of his own jail cell and quips...”Heeerrrrrrrrrre’s…

THE WEBER KID’S 2012 WEEK 8 FORECAST
(Sponsored this week by Odor-Eaters!)

THURS. OCT. 18
ARIZONA STATE (+9) over #2 Oregon:
Ducks were idle, while Devils were blasting Colorado, at altitude, last Thursday. State is playing well-enough defensively, allowing less than 16 ppg against I-A contestants and is under first-year coach Todd Graham, who’s stays at schools tend to be shorter than Britney Spears’ or Kim Kardashian’s marriages! Drakes have won the money in 12 of last 13 following a bye week and have hit the scoreboard for fitty or higher in 5 of 7 games so far. State’s covered last five times getting points in Tempe, but have a redshirt freshman at quarterback. First true road game for Oregon on the season and we considered this for upset pick of da’ week… Mallards 44 ASU 38

SAT. OCT. 20
TENNESSEE (+21) over #1 Alabama:
Tide’s atop the season’s opening BCS, which given the forthcoming playoff-format and expiration of the contract for the current system, stands for “Be Closin’ Soon”! Vols have been competitive, despite 1-2 ATS record, in their three SEC defeats, letting Florida, Georgia and last week, Mississippi State, off the hook late in those games. ‘Bama has already matched spread-loss total from 2011, but all three ATS wins have come away from Tuscaloosa. The home team in this series has sucked dirty-pond water ATS. As the election campaign rages, we’ve noted some “NOBAMA” stickers on cars in the Vegas Valley. We’re just wonderin’ why certain denizens of Sin City are harborin’ ill-will toward the Crimson Tide!!!!!!...’Bama 34 Rocky Top 16

#9 South Carolina (+3) over #3 FLORIDA: Tough spot for the Gators, who face unhappy bunch of ‘Nuggets off loss to LSU. At least UF is home and have QB Jeff Driskel, who did his best Tebow-impersonation, rushing for three scores and 177 total ground yards in tight victory over Vandy. Carolina won 17-12 in 2011. Again, we expect points to be at a premium, and “under” is da’ play…Tenders 16 Gators 14

#4 Kansas State (+3 ½) over #17 WEST VIRGINIA: Wildcats 42 WVU 40

#5 NOTRE DAME (-14) over Brigham Young: With or without QB Golson…Irish 27 Coogs 8

#6 Louisiana State (-3) over #20 TEXAS A&M: Gotta’ hand it to the Bengals. They know how to defend the home-turf. Despite an early missed FG and a 10-yard punt, the wide-outs made some nifty catches and State got the win. Aggies almost went down to Weeziana Tech. Strength vs. strength here. Can A&M’s offense outwit the Tigers’ defense???!!!...LSU 17 Aggies 13

#7 OHIO STATE (-17) over Purdue: Buckeyes 38 Boilers 17

#8 OREGON STATE (-10 ½) over Utah: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Looks like the Beavers have more than just one very capable quarterback. A Utah elementary school uses talking vending machines to warn kids against unhealthy snack choices each time they press a button. That same school uses identical technology every time a 3rd grader wants to place a wager on one of Vindy’s Picks! Your humble narrator, however, just got his Beehive State substitute-teaching certification and plans to help da’ absent schoolmarm’s class of 8-year-olds learn some math (and a few multi-syllable words, such “point-spread”, “parlay” and “favorite”) by encouraging them to invest in…Beavers 29 Utes 10

#10 OKLAHOMA (-35) over Kansas: Sooners 49 Kansas 10

Colorado (+41) over #11 USC: This got “lock” consideration…Troy 45 Buffs 14

MIAMI (+17 ½) over #12 Florida State: ‘Noles 28 Pelicans 21

KENTUCKY (+28) over #13 Georgia: Road dog woes continue for the Bulldogs, who got an extra week to stew over 35-7 stinker they turned-in at South Carolina. Bluegrass Kittens on 0-5 spread slide, 1-6 on the year and are typically “good-fer-what-ails-ya” when scoring is poor (lost 49-7 last week at Arkansas). Our reservations here are 1) a certain infamous “Party” awaits Joja’ next Saturday, 2) to a lesser-extent, it’s Homecoming in Lexington and 3) ‘Dawgs’ only wins by this many have come between da’ hedges vs. Florida Atlantic and Vandy. Best guess for “wish I had it back”….Joja’ 45 KY 20

#14 CLEMSON (-9) over Virginia Tech: One of the Hokies’ receivers discovered a pair of scissors on the field during Tech’s loss to North Carolina. Perhaps one of the Tarheels ball-carriers took the term “cutback” a tad too literally! Nonetheless, Clemson will be taking advantage of an opportunity to get in its opponents’ heads, leaving several sets of shears in the visitors’ locker room this week!...Tigers 38 Hokies 24

Middle Tennessee State (+20 ½) over #15 MISSISSIPPI STATE: Bulldogs 30 MTSU 17

#16 LOUISVILLE (-7) over South Florida: Louisville 27 USF 17

#18 Texas Tech (GASP!) (-2 ½) over TCU: Guns Up 17 Horny Toads 9

#19 Rutgers (-6) over TEMPLE: Knights 23 Owls 13

TOLEDO (+7) over #21 Cincinnati: In June, the San Diego Padres drafted hasn’t-played-baseball-since-high-school Rockets’ starting QB Terrance Owens…solely on the basis of his arm-strength and accuracy to be a pitcher! Having someone take the mound that’s used to hitting guys “right between the numbers” is not going to work out well! Nor is having a guy who keeps telling his outfielders to…“go long”!!!!...Cincy 41 Toledo 37

#22 Stanford (-2 ½) over CAL: Stanford 20 Berkeley Bears 14

Michigan State (+10) over #23 MICHIGAN: Even discounting the long TD-runs of 49- and 63-yards, Big Blue still managed to tote the rock at 5 yards per carry in rout of Illinois. Sparty, while slogging on offense, won’t be had quite so easily on the other side of the ball. Including OT loss at Iowa last week, State is on 0-5 spread skid and shows a 3-9 road dog record, but has won this series four years running. Don’t be stunned to see Spartans make it five in a row, but we’ll conservatively call it…UM 20 MSU 16

#24 BOISE STATE (-27 ½) over Nevada-Las Vegas: These ain’t yer father’s Broncos, salvaging a win (and cover) vs. won’t-go-away Fresno State Puppies last week, but have to wonder what the Rabbles can muster on the conference road following the squandering of a couple early three-score leads to yield da’ Fremont Cannon to “that team up-north”…again! Like Kentucky and Colorado, the D tends to make lesser-offenses seem better than they really are…Broncos 38 UNLV 10

#25 Ohio: IDLE (next @ Miami-Ohio)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, Vindy’s spies say a guard at the Silver State correctional facility actually chanted “Dead sock walkin’! Dead sock walkin’!” as the famous hosiery made its way down a corridor, while wearin’ an orange jump-suit with a bullet-proof…uh… ”vest” (or at least a Kevlar boot)…toward the Juice’s cell!

“Vindy…er…um…Windy…I’m home-field!”

Incidentally, we have it on good authority that CU officials paid handsomely to ensure in-room TVs at Tech’s hotel, regardless of channel, broadcast only Edward Scissorhands or Sweeney Todd!

Following up last week’s musings about the alma mater’s “NASCAR” hurry-up offense, we note the conversion of the PSU sideline into “pit row” each time that particular offense is run. Lions’ quarterbacks have the option of pulling off in mid-play to get four new offensive linemen (swapped out with an air-wrench), a few squirts from a water-bottle, a topped-off tank of gas and a wash-and-squeegee across the facemask. The best part of this scenario, of course, is watchin’ players collide high-up in the turn, then spin-out while their cleats and other random parts of their uniforms fly-off over the wall and into the stands! This naturally brings out the yellow flag, which causes players to slow down and maintain their respective positions behind a pace car on the field! But what’s really weird is when outstanding players each game get helmet-stickers bearing the logo of Pennzoil or STP!

An Oklahoma City school forced five-year-old Cooper Barton to invert his University of Michigan T-shirt last summer because said-school district’s dress code only permits apparel touting the Sooners, Okie State Cowpokes or other educational institutions in Oklahoma. Barton subsequently got a lotta’ love after da’ fact from the Big Blue athletic director, including tickets for himself and his kin to a Michigan game and a customized Wolverines T-shirt. The two teams do not face each other in the 2012 regular season, but in the event of a possible bowl meeting between the squads, Vindy has offered to teach da’ lad to yell “Boomer Poopie-Pants” each time he sees the Oklahoma covered-wagon take da’ field!!!!

The Nawlins’ Saints…sponsored by… “Bounty…da’ quicker knocker-downer!”

The Post Office got more than the usual “heat” in August for botching estimated sales of commemorative stamps, including the printing of one-billion Simpsons stamps, which actually sold less than a third of that. Later in the month, Lance Armstrong got stripped of his Tour De France titles. A recently-released report suggests the former beau of Sheryl Crow was thrown under the bus by eleven former-teammates alleging use of PEDs. Not only is the former USPS-sponsored biker not getting’ his own stamp series, he ain’t even gettin’ da’ benefit of that flat-rate promised in those “if it fits, it ships” ads.

Black Shirt: This week’s uber-undergarment goes to…Indiana freshman QB Nate Sudfield for throwin’ two TD-passes in the final 1:40 vs. da’ Buckeyes D to give the Hoosiers our predicted cover!

“Locked in a Box?”: Hallelujah!!!! Louisville won by 10 over Pitt to put our first lock win of the season (1-6, .143) in the books.

Shoppe Talk: The Trojan Hobby-Horses of USC get a weekend pass after finally getting us a forecast win in failed-cover vs. UDUB, but the Mountain-Jeers of Morgantown (0-5 season, 3-13 last 16 appearances!) take top “honors” after being blown-out by (GASP!) Texas Tech, whose own 1-1 season-but-6-22-1 “picks”-tally skid leaves us woofing down Prilosec! Florida State gets an engraved invitation, now showing 1-4 (.200).

Vindy’s Week 8 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-3 Season: 16-17 (.485)
UNR -7 ½ over San Diego State, Ball State -3 over CENTRAL MICHIGAN, Indiana +3 ½ over NAVY, LOUISIANA TECH -30 ½ over Idaho, Iowa State +13 ½ over OKLAHOMA STATE, Penn State +3 over IOWA

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Vindy's Picks Week 7-2012

TEAM QUITS SEASON, WORKS AT NEW MALL

ARLINGTON, TEXAS (AP)…The “D” in Big D now stands for Dillard’s. The combined grand-opening of a Victoria Secret “PINK” store onsite and a mistake-filled effort in a loss to Da’ Bears, dropping Da’ Boys to .500 in what appeared to be headed for another lackluster season, led the local NFL squad to forfeit the remainder of the year and prompted Jerry Jones to cut his losses by turning over Cowboys Stadium to new investors, with many players taking-up employment in what had previously-been their “house”. On his first day of the new job, true-to-form, Tony Romo while slinging the featured product at Cinnabon, overthrew the intended-customers several times, once even far enough that the tasty-pastry landed square in the hands of a rival Orange Julius employee, who sped past the entire food court and returned the bun all the way to the parking lot, much to the delight of on-looking patrons! The new Board of Directors, sensitive to the city’s rich-but-colorful NFL history, will vote this week on changing the name of the venue to either “The Mall of America’s Team” or the “Leon Out-Lett Mall”.

Off the decent 11-7 record for Week Six (52-52, .500), Vindy tried to garner the favor of former Cowboys offensive linemen now working at The Gap, which is also what the bookies will try to shoot in an effort to put pressure on…

THE WEBER KID’S 2012 WEEK 7 FORECAST
(Free with every purchase of a Corndog-on-a-Stick)

SAT. OCT. 6
#1 Alabama (-21 ½) over MISSOURI:
Tide rested last week, while Tigers got waylaid by Vandy…’Bama 42 Mizzou 17

#2 Oregon: IDLE (next @ Arizona State 10/18)

#3 South Carolina (+2 ½) over #9 LSU: What do the Chicken Wings gotta’ do to get some love???!!!! We suspect the line here has something to do with the fact that the Bengals have been defeated in Baton Rouge just once in last three-plus seasons. Tigers, however, will face a defense even better than what they saw in the Swamp last week and the Poultry have a few extra weapons on offense. LSU had covered 9 straight vs. the Top 25 until BCS title game loss to ‘Bama, then missed vs. Florida as well this year. “Under” is probably the preferred wager, but…Carolina 20 Bengals 13

VANDERBILT (+8) over #4 Florida: Gators worked the run (behind Gillislee’s 126 yards) and the usual stellar D well-enough to stay close and eventually pass by LSU. Vandy comes in off nice upset of SEC-newcomer Missouri for first FBS win on the year. Crocs have beaten the line four straight times, but have visit by the Gamecocks on-deck. ‘Dores have covered 7 straight home games, have 6 losses in last 10 defeats by a touchdown or less and continue their ascent under Coach Franklin. They did, however, get belted 48-3 at Georgia…Florida 16 Vandy 10

#5 West Virginia (-4 ½) over TEXAS TECH: And now, a few words about the Red Raiders nationally-ranked stop squad…AA NW State, Division I-A rookie Texas State, rising-but-still-work-to-do New Mexico and (we’ll give ‘em this one) Iowa State. Tech’s D was abused by Sooners offense that ain’t nearly as potent as Mountaineers’ version. Mounties defense is MAC- or WAC-worthy and doesn’t send offensive coordinators out lookin’ for Ambien or Lunesta, and three turnovers didn’t help Raiders’ cause vs. Oklahoma, but Texas got within 3 on a touchdown only as the clock ticked down to 15 seconds left to play…’Eers 48 TTU 38

#6 Kansas State (-6 ½) over IOWA STATE: Dust Devils have been loitering just outside the Top 25 for a few weeks now. We liked ISU last week, with some reservations, and we thank TCU QB Casey Pachall for the DWI-related benching that made us feel even better about the pick. After toying with Kansas early, KSU continued its dominance over its rival. Cyclones pulled the upset over the depleted-Toads. The Purple Persians will have the full-compliment of backfield starters and QB Klein can augment RB Jon Hubert’s rushing game with his own legs. ISU has covered six in a row vs. ranked opponents, but…KSU 35 ISU 24

#7 NOTRE DAME (-8) over #17 Stanford: Irish 20 Cardinal 10

INDIANA (+17) over #8 Ohio State: Buckeyes 28 Indy 17

#10 Oregon State @ BYU: OFF

WASHINGTON (+11 ½) over #11 Southern Cal: Trojans, who’ve cover the line once in five tries, beat Cal by 9 and Utah by 10. Lost to Stanford. UDUB upset the Cardinal for its only spread win. Given the defection of former PSU RB Silas Redd to LA, Troy’s 0-fer-5 forecast record and the looming presence of Halloween, we by-pass the full analysis, curl our index-fingers and simply quote “Danny” in “The Shining” … ”Redd-rum! Redd-rum!” Don’t be shocked by another upset in Seattle, but…USC 27 Sled Dogs 23

Boston College (+28) over #12 FLORIDA STATE: And there ya have it, Sportsfans! NC State was the annual loss-that-shouldn’t-have-been by the Tallahassee Tribe, which again hampers the national title run. Could end up FSU 31-0. We see something closer to…’Noles 24 BC 13

#15 Texas (+3) over #13 Oklahoma (@ Dallas): Texas 22 OK 20

#14 Georgia: IDLE (next vs. Kentucky)

#16 Clemson: IDLE (next vs. Virginia Tech)

#18 Louisville (-3) over PITT: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Okay, we’ll bring up the topic again. Panthers commenced 2012 with its 4th coach in 13 months. Judges on The Voice and Idol don’t swap out that quickly!!!! Lack of stability equals lack of production. We thought Pitt was righting the ship, posting a pair of wins prior to last week’s tough 1-point loss at Syracuse. Gotta’ stay with Louisville with short line, despite consecutive spread-losses and 3rd away tilt in as many weeks…Cardinals 24 Pitt 9

#19 MISSISSIPPI STATE (-3) over Tennessee: Line initially looks reasonable since State had difficulty putting away Kentucky (in which State didn’t score vs. Wildcats’ paper-thin D after three minutes into the second half) and the effort provided by the Vols in one-score loss at Joja’ and previously-mentioned three-quarters vs. Florida, but Rocky Top’s only significant victory came vs. NC State (which now warrants a few extra points this week following Wolfpack’s second upset of Florida State in three seasons). All four of Tennessee’s I-A games have gone “over” the total (with UT scoring north of 39 ppg), while State’s last three have gone “under”… MSU 23 ‘Tears 14

Syracuse (+7) over #20 RUTGERS: Knights 17 ‘Cuse 13

Fordham @ #21 CINCINNATI: No line.

#23 LOUISIANA TECH (+8) over #22 Texas A&M: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. This is the reschedule of the season-opening weather-postponed match-up. The WAC’s Bulldoggies, already 5-2 ATS vs. Big Six conference teams, includin’ SU wins this year over Virginia and Illinois, are being mentioned in more-than-whispers as BCS-busters. A victory by LT here leaves it with just Utah State (at home) as the major obstacle to an undefeated season. While A&M was edging Ole Missed by 3 last week, Tech took advantage of UNLV miscues to separate late and win by four scores. Win or lose, Weeziana Tech has our respect…LT 38 A&M 34

Fresno State (+7 ½) over #24 BOISE STATE: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. Big game in the Mountain Jest. Broncos rejoin the rankings after a one-week hiatus following three-point win at improving-New Mexico. Fresno, behind QB Derek Carr, has covered five straight and shows 4-2 SU, with tough 27-26 loss at C-USA contender Tulsa. ‘Dogs, up 28-0, yielded Colorado State’s meaningless score with 28 seconds left. Broncos got five turnovers to belt poor SoMiss team 40-16 and are a surprising 1-5 ATS in last 6 on the blue turf, where BSU has just one outright loss in over six seasons. Bulldogs, who suffered minus-double-digit turnover ratios the previous four years, are currently +10…FSU West 21 BSU 19

#25 MICHIGAN (-23 ½) over Illinois: Michigan 38 Illini 10

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, on a positive note, the former Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, starting the day after Thanksgiving, will allow mall-goers to sit in their laps and whisper into their ears what they want for Christmas while having photos taken! Oh my!

After reviewing videotape, the Big Ten Conference determined MSU-OSU incident was not really “eye-gouging”. Officials did confirm our Week 6 thoughts that the players’ actions were merely honoring the Three Stooges, citing indisputable audio-evidence in which both athletes were heard uttering “Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!” at the bottom of the pile!

During the Penn State-Northwestern broadcast, we learned Bill O’Brien calls the alma mater’s version of the hurry-up offense…”NASCAR”. Great. Increases the tempo of play, but lowers the cumulative IQ of the players by 10 points! Can’t wait to hear QB Matt McGloin bark signals like..”Two…fitty-seven! Two…fitty-seven! Git-R-Done!” More thoughts on this one next week.

Shortly after Mitt Romney, in a nationally-televised presidential-debate, declared he loves Big Bird, but would cut funding to PBS, players and backers of the Big Ten’s Iowa Hawkeyes, Big Twelve’s Kansas Jayhawks and Big East’s Louisville Cardinals pledged their votes to incumbent Barack Obama!

Prior to the first BCS poll even coming out, we’re just thinkin’ out loud…raise yer hand if ya’d like to see potential-buster LA Tech face West Virginia in the Fiesta Bowl (Are ya listenin’, Vegas?! Just try to set the over-under below 90…just try!). Reach fer the stars also if ya like the Ohio Bobblecats toe-to-toe with the ‘Bama-South Carolina SEC Title game loser in the Orange!

On HBO…Nucky Thompson calls pitches behind the plate on Atlantic City’s wooden walkways amidst casinos and amusement rides during the Prohibition era. Players arguing balls and strikes not only get tossed, they get whacked …in…”Boardwalk Umpire”!

Black Shirt: The obsidian tee goes to….much-maligned Nifty Lions kicker Sam Ficken for a short FG and a critical 4th Quarter extra-point that forced Northwestern to go for a touchdown rather than a tying FG late and ultimately led to Penn State’s comeback win and cover! In addition, we note the young man’s kickoff that split the uprights from…75 yards!!!! Honorable mention and half-a-tee to Coach O’Brien fer several successful gutsy calls on 4th Down throughout the game and to Scarlet Knights DB Wayne Warren for a final-stanza INT-for-TD that allowed Rutgers to beat the spread!

“Locked in a Box?”: For those who remember our “cable” ad back in Week One…hide the cocktail servers ‘cause we’re about to begin “throwin’ darts blindfolded in the sportsbook” as the upset of Florida State lowers the lock tally to 0-6 (.000)!!!!

Shoppe Talk: The Trojan Whores of USC have now fanned on our predictions five straight times, surpassing even the hated Mountaineers, who now stand-in at 0-4 (.000) on the year and 3-12 over the last 15 (.200)! If yer wonderin’ about teams that have been Weber-friendly, the Gators show 4-1 (.800) in five tries and the Joja’ Dawgs come in at 4-2 (.667)

Vindy’s Week 7 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 14-14 (.500)
Western Kentucky -2 ½ over TROY, NORTHWESTERN -3 over Minnesota, Idaho +2 ½ over TEXAS STATE, CENTRAL FLORIDA -16 ½ over SOUTHERN MISS, UL-MONROE -24 over Florida Atlantic


Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Vindy's Picks Week 6-2012

FORMER REPLACEMENT REF IMPACTS MLB GAME

ST. LOUIS, Missouri (UPI)…The good news? They got it right upon review. The bad news? The delay involved with making the correct call official was intolerable. During the first-inning of the Sept 30th game between the Cardinals and Washington, Nats’ hitter Michael Morse was asked to mime his grand-slam after replay of his deep fly-ball was eventually (and correctly) ruled a dinger with the bases juiced. Players on both sides initially cooperated and at the direction of the ex-NFL-scab-official-turned-umpire, who was ready to declare a Nationals’ walk-off touchdown, donned face-paint, striped shirts and berets, while positioning themselves to re-enact the at-bat. The stadium PA-system operator even added a little sarcastic drama by playin’ the “Six-Million Dollar Man” sound-effects. But upon getting a second-chance, pitcher Kyle Lohse elected instead to pretend-pitch a bean-ball at Morse’s head, causing both benches to empty.

Dogs carried on with their torrid pace, takin’ the pesos in 12 of the 14 matches (12 of 15 if ya had South Carolina at -20 ½ after we published last week’s forecast) and we finally returned to some sense of accuracy with a 9-5 (41-45, .482) outing in Week Five. If Marcel Marceau was alive today, he’d bust out the fake rope-pull, only to end up with a handful of…

THE WEBER KID’S 2012 WEEK 6 FORECAST
(Sporting a pink blog-background all month in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness)

THURS. OCT. 4
#13 Southern Cal (-14) over UTAH:
We’re not impressed with either side and this is more of a vote against Utah’s lack of production (win over rival BYU notwithstanding) than for the Trojans. Both teams got a bye last week, but Utah went into the off-week following a 30-point loss at Arizona State (cashing us a ticket! Thank you very much!). USC won but didn’t cover vs. Cal. We’re calling on a trend showing Troy as a very good bet laying double-digits following an idle week, Utes QB Jordan Wynn has called it a career and SoCal won a 9-point decision last year in wake of tougher-than-expected 19-17 victory over Minnesota to open the 2011 campaign (but just as a caveat… underdogs have taken all three Thursday-nighters ATS on the season)…USC 31 Utah 13

SAT. OCT. 6
#1 Alabama: IDLE (next @ Missouri)

#23 Washington (+24) over #2 OREGON: We looked at this for “lock”. Line suggests the bookies are starting to catch up (a little) to Mallards’ defensive issues. Huskies, who lost 34-17 in 2011, aren’t good in revenge-mode, but ‘Dogs did validate last week’s “dangerous” label, upsetting Stanford and are doing it on defense. Drakes haven’t scored less than 42 and RB Kenyon Barner is a monster on the ground for UO, but three of five opponents scored 25 or more…Quack Attack 48 UDUB 27

#3 Florida State (-14) over NC STATE: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Chief Wahoo and the boys were plus-three turnovers and plus-8 minutes in time-of-possession, yet failed to score in the fourth quarter at South Florida???!!! Anybody else smell fix???!! NC State has no Russell Wilson. No Danny O’Brien (who ain’t workin’ out quite as well at Wisconsin). Wolfpack 0-4 ATS, 3-2 SU…with triumphs over…UConn (by 3), FBS-newbie South ‘Bama and FCS Citadel. History favors NCSU on a couple fronts, but having gotten the hangover from comeback win against Clemson outta’ da’ way, we expect FSU to cover this one easily…Seminoles 45 Wolf Package 17

#10 FLORIDA (+2 ½) over #4 Louisiana State: Have to wonder if Bengals played the defensive scrubs early and often in less-than-stellar win over AA Towson that got ‘em dropped in the rankings, knowing this one and visit by the Poultry were upcoming. Our best guess here is an “under” with neither side yielding many scoring opportunities. Gators, though not pretty, posting 3-0 SU/ATS tally in conference play. Tigers won 41-11 last year. Bengals last trip to the Swamp resulted in 4-point win in 2010…LSU 21 Florida 20

#6 SOUTH CAROLINA (-2 ½) over #5 Georgia: Gamecocks 24 ‘Dawgs 17

Kansas (+24) over #7 KANSAS STATE: Jayhawks in inaugural campaign under Charlie Weis, who made the Irish more lichen-like than fightin’ in his last three seasons at Notre Dame, but did wake up the echoes in his first two years in the shadow of Touchdown Jesus. Following 20-6 loss to conference-newcomer TCU, Birds are now 6-9 getting points away and dismal 2-24 outright in Big 12 play. Purple Persians have won and covered last three years in this series, hangin’ 59 on their rivals in each of the past two. Still, ‘Cats made our upset pick over Oklahoma a reality and little voice in Vindy’s head is persistent in advice to take da’ points with away games at Iowa State and West Virginia closin’ quickly…KSU 31 Jayhawks 13

#11 TEXAS (-7) over #8 West Virginia: No faith in this choice. Both teams survived crazy shootouts last week. Geno Smith hasn’t thrown a pick to-date. Steers would fare well to change that! We don’t think Cattle could swap sixes with the ‘Eers, so we’re bankin’ on a Texas defense to make a few plays and Longhorns’ ground game, averaging 228 ypg, to grind one out. ‘Horns faced a similar prolific offense at Oklahoma State and emerged okay. Maybe the Austin Angus can borrow some defensive starters from their brethren in Lubbock (see Oklahoma-Texas Tech below)!...’Horns 34 ‘Eers 24

#9 NOTRE DAME (-13) over Miami: Irish 27 Miami 12

#12 OHIO STATE (-3) over #21 Nebraska: Buckeyes overcame a minus-three turnover margin and eventually dispatched Sparty with sure-tackling, characteristic of the State defense we’ve anticipated all season. We had a small money-line wager on Wisky over Big Dread and Badgers fell just shy of fruition. FYI, the whole “eye-gouging” incident between Michigan State guard Jack Allen and OSU DT Jonathan Hankins’ was a misunderstanding. Allen was simply demonstrating the mutual- appreciation for the Three Stooges (or was re-creatin’ the famous Robert DeNiro “I’m…watchin’… you!” segment from Meet the Parents!)…Buckeyes 24 Huskers 20

Washington State (+15) over #14 OREGON STATE: Much like K-State, we’re hesitant to lay double-digits with the Beavers, despite multiple upset victories in dog role…OSU 34 Wazzou 23

Georgia Tech (+10) over #15 tie CLEMSON: Bees gave the Stun Belt yet-another victory this season vs. the BCS conference, losing 49-28 to Middle Tennessee State. Tigers covering the spreads, but makin’ it interesting doing so…Clemson 31 Joja’ Tech 24

Iowa State (+11) over #15 tie TCU: Best guess for “wish I had it back”, but…Toads 20 Dust Devils 12

#17 Oklahoma (-5) over TEXAS TECH: Red Raiders lead the nation in total defense and holds the five-spot in scoring D???!!! WTH???!!!...OK 27 Texas Tech 17

Arizona (+10) over #18 STANFORD: Stanford 19 AZ 16

#19 Louisville: IDLE (next @ Pitt)

#20 Mississippi State (-9 ½) over KENTUCKY: MSU 34 Mildcats 17

#22 RUTGERS (-9 ½) over Connecticut: Scarlet Kaaaaaaahhhhnigggetts 4-0 SU/2-1 ATS including a pair of road-dog upsets far away from the Jersey Turnpike. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com has the chalk in this series losing ATS the past four meetings. Huskies, currently under the guidance of former Syracuse head man Paul Pasqualoni, are 3-2 SU/2-1 against the line. The rush defense made progress for Pasqualoni in 2011. Knights run and stop the run well. Success up-top might well be the difference here or RB Jamison (123 rush ypg) might tilt the field in favor of the…Piscataway Paladins 23 UConn 10

PENN STATE (-3) over #24 Northwestern: Since a pair of defeats that could have just as easily gone into the win-column, the alma mater has weathered the scandal and the defections to reel-off three consecutive SU victories and four straight wins vs. the number. Wildcats haven’t been tested since opening 42-41 victory over Syracuse and are 10-3 in last 13 as road dogs, but we’ll take Lions’ overall level of opposition over N-Dub’s wins against Vandy, BC, South Dakota and Indiana. BTW, the replacement NFL referees were acquired from the same temp agency that pimped-out kicker Sam Ficken to the Nittany Lions! Homecoming in Happy Valley...PSU 21 NW 13

#25 Ucla (-2 ½) over CAL: UCLA 29 Bears 22

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, upon even further review…Cardinals manager, Mike Matheny, noted the pretend-pine tar was too high up on the imaginary bat-handle and claimed Morse shoulda’ been called out and four runs taken off the scoreboard!

Opposing fans are expected to mock Morse for the duration of the Nationals’ season by doing the old “trapped in a batter’s box” thing!

Sing it with Vindy…“Make-up… me out to the ballllllllll game…”

S.F. Niners’ Brandon Jacobs got caught racing among an army of vehicles driving over the century-mark in New Jersey in what a motorist reportedly suggested was “Death Race 2012”. We’re just wondering if said-running back will run over his own coaches and teammates to score additional points toward getting released from his current contract, and be armed with oil slicks on defense and machine-guns on offense if he carries the ball across designated spots on the grid-iron! There’s always a cameo on the Wacky Races cartoon series remake!

Tim Tebow noted his only “vice” is vanilla ice cream. Timmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…live a little. Two words… ”Heavenly Hash”! BTW, the newest flavor from Ben & Jerry’s is…”Timocha Tebow”

Tebow has also reportedly taken up mixed martial training…because… let’s face it….the Jets need a QB with a strong arm-bar and good ground-and-pound game! BTW, defenders get no credit for a sack vs. Tebow unless he taps-out or gets choked out!

Always enjoying the opportunity to jack things up, Vindy was not too happy to realize the Olympic Games preliminaries weren’t actually followed by the mettle rounds!

Mike Tyson brought his solo act to Broadway this summer. Hmmmm….”Iron Mike: Da’ Musical”? How ‘bout “Boxer on da’ Roof”? “Neil Simon’s Round Two”? “Southpaw Pacific”, “The Iron Mikado”? “Oh! Cal-Cut-man!”? “Man of La Muncha”? Do I hear a co-starring role alongside a Yul Brynner-look-a-like in “The Ring & I”???!! “Evander Get Your Gun”????!!!! (‘cause let’s face it…he ain’t gonna’ “hear the Sound of Muuuuuusssiiiiiiic”!)

If yer scorin’ at home, yer aware that October 5th is the 50th anniversary of the introduction of a guy named James Bond…in a 1962 flick called…“Dr. No-Huddle”!!!!

Black Shirt: The coveted undergarment goes to RB Joe Bergeron, who’s TD-run with 29 seconds left gave Texas the win and cover we predicted! Honorable mention to Beavers QB Sean Mannion for a huge passing day and winning touchdown-toss with just over a minute left to give Oregon State the predicted road-upset of Arizona!

“Wish I Had That One Back”: After changing our initial pick, as noted last week, on West Virginia-Baylor, yep…we’d like that one back!

“Locked in a Box?”: Our preferred selections haven’t been able to hit a herd of elephants with a fire-hose, as the Seminoles’ missed cover takes us down to 0-5 (.000)??!!!

Shoppe Talk: The Mounted Ears continue to adorn the Shoppe walls at 0-3 (.000 and 3-11 over the last 14).

Vindy’s Week 6 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3 Season: 11-12 (.478)
Northern Illinois -2 ½ over BALL STATE, AKRON +4 ½ over Bowling Green, WISCONSIN -14 ½ Illinois, MARSHALL +3 over Tulsa, UL-Monroe -3 over MIDDLE TENNESSEE STATE