Wednesday, September 12, 2018
LOCAL QUARTERBACK REITERATES POST-CAREER ASPIRATIONS
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (UPI)…In February, Super Bowl Fifty-One MVP Nick said he’d become a pastor upon NFL retirement. While still in the game to-date, his teammate Jay capped a late 18-12 come-back victory on a touchdown-run with 2:19 to-play and the ensuing two-point conversion vs. the visiting Atlanta Falcons. In an interview following the win, stated he planned “to serve steadfast to a higher-calling" and lead his congregation “out behind the church to allow them to witness (his) ability to toss the ‘Hail Mary’”...
Meanwhile in Sin City, we credit the Geek Squad at Best Buy for repairing our , allowing us to rebound nicely from Week One’s debauchery to post a 9-5-1 (14-17-1, .452) sequel. Feigning injury more-often than Neymar during the 2018 World Cup, it’s...
THE WEBER KID’S WEEK 3 FORECAST
(Bein’ held-together by bubblegum and a strand of waiver-wire!)
SAT. SEPT. 15
MISSISSIPPI (+21) over #1 Alabama: Prior to last season’s annihilation at the hands of Tide in Tuscaloosa (66-3...OUCH!), the previous three contests had been ‘Bama’s by 6 or less. Despite just 3 back on D, Tide has coughed-up just 21 points in past two matches (Louisville and Arkansas State). Rebels allowed 41 to the Salukis last week and lost former QB Shea Patterson to . Port Wine Pachyderms set a record at 106 all-time weeks in the one-spot of the AP Poll....or roughly the same number of fortnights the Kansas Jayhawks went without a straight-up victory over an FBS opponent until knocking off Central Michigan last Elephants 41 Ole Mist 27
#2 CLEMSON (-35) over Georgia State: Tigers 48 ’ State 3
#3 GEORGIA (-32) over Middle Tennessee State: Dawgs 51 Blue Raiders 10
#4 Ohio State (-12 ½) over #15 Texas Christian (@ Arlington, TX): Neither side has been tested thus-far in blow-outs of their collective four wins. Buckeyes succumbed 31-16 in 2017 battle, laying a TD, vs. Big 12 Oklahoma last September. Toads run well. State improved last season from 3.4 to 2.9 and 20 overall. Froggies have failed to cover last three neutral-ground tries. And sucked to the tune of 2-7 ATS facing Top 25 teams...Ohio State 37 TCU 13
IOWA STATE (+17) over #5 Oklahoma: 34 Dust Devils 26
Brigham Young (+22) over #6 WISCONSIN: Badgers 27 17
#12 Louisiana State @ #7 AUBURN (“under 44 ½”): Can’t truly gauge Bengals’ capability based on Miami’s no-show in the opener and subsequent 31-zip tally over Southeast . Auburn survived neutral-site match against Washington and boasts 10-5-2 spread-record vs. SEC teams the last two years. suffered 27-23 loss in Baton Rouge in 2017. LSU’s dropped just a pair of tilts by DD the last two campaigns. Auburn bested six (count ‘, six) conference teams by double-digits last year. We’ll defer to da’ total...Auburn 17 LSU 14
Vanderbilt (+14) over #8 NOTRE DAME: Leprechauns 30 Admirals 20
UC Davis @ #9 STANFORD: No line.
UTAH (+6 ½) over #10 Washington: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. We also considered “under 47”. Marc Lawrence notes Utes have missed the money in last six tries after giving up fewer than a ten-spot. Utah took Northern Illinois 17-6 last week. But Utah’s in rare home-dog role (1-1-1 ATS past 4 years), have ’ upperclassmen, show 6-1 spread-record in last 7 vs. Top-25 opponents, sit just-outside the rankings in the #26-spot and as noted by Phil Steele and got gouged for 12 points in final minute to-play to lose 33-30 last season in Seattle!...Utes 24 UDUB 19
Kent State (+35) over #11 PENN STATE: Fer those who didn’t watch the game, there’s a lotta’ room for improvement on Da’ Lions’ special-teams. Flashes have three demises by this many in last three seasons. Alma Mater has beaten its MAC-combatants by 52 and 20 (1-1 ATS) the past two tries. Kent State lost opener at Illinois by 7, whom Lions visit on a short-week after this. PSU spent tons of emotional-energy blasting rival-Pitt 51-6 on heels of OT-win vs. App State, so should be back to normal status here. ’ Happy Valley-reserves see action! Comic-book-geeks will get the Lions 33 Jay Garrick 7
East Carolina @ #13 VIRGINIA TECH: CANCELLED.
#14 West Virginia @ NC STATE: CANCELLED. (Damn! This was our original LOCK OF DA’ WEEK.)
Louisiana-Lafayette (+33 ½) over #16 MISSISSIPPI STATE: Best guess “wish we had it back”. SEC conference-opener at improved-Kentucky looming Bulldogs...MSU 52 UL-Laugh-At-Us 24
#17 Boise State @ #24 OKLAHOMA STATE (“over 63 ½”): Toughest remaining road-block (pun not intended) Group-of-Five New Year’s Six Bowl-Hopeful Broncos. Cowpokes settling-into third straight game (of four!) in Stillwater. Overall spread-stretch for OKSU (19-17-2) doesn’t impress, but 8-1 facing non-Big 12 run says something. Tater-Heads went 2-1 SU/ATS in 017, but two of those on the other sideline were fellow Mountain-Fest teams...Spaghetti-Western Folks 44 Mashed Spuds 37
#18 Central Florida @ NORTH CAROLINA: CANCELLED.
#19 MICHIGAN (-35) over Southern Methodist: Big Blew 57 Ponies 13
#20 OREGON (-41 ½) over San Jose State: San Hose-Me State has ten outright victories in last three-plus seasons, one of which was against FCS Cal Poly-San Luis Abysmal last year (and two more I-AA victims in New Hampshire and Portland State in 2015 and 2016, respectively), going 16-18-1 ATS in lined contests. The AD and alumni could care less about spread-victories. We foresee an eventual move down to FCS-level for SJSU. heard it here first! Unless they can upend Colorado State at home on 10/6, we predict a winless SU campaign. Spartans fans simply need to “embrace the suck”! Only doubt here is Ducks’ home-tilt against Stanford a week away… Drakes 59 Tans 9
TOLEDO (+10 ½) over #21 Miami: ‘Canes are on current 2-8 ATS-skid vs. FBS foes (though got back on track, bashing I-AA Savannah State 77-0 last Saturday). Astronauts, who’ve averaged 10 outright-victories in each of last three seasons, have a third-year coach and show just one SU defeat in last dozen contests at the Glass Bowl. During unexpected-loss to Tech two weeks ago, ‘Pelicans donned composed of recycled plastic, fishing-nets (as opposed to fish-net stockings, but that’s another segment another blog!) and other marine-waste retrieved from the ocean! This explains how several UM players simply floated down the Red River, with the rest of the flotsam and jetsam, into the Gulf of Mexico following that debacle. Not to worry...said-athletes were rescued by the Coast Guard hours-later and returned safely to Coral Miami 30 USS Reliant 24
TEXAS (-3) over #22 Southern Cal: Horns 19 ’ Cal 14
#23 Arizona State (-4 ½) over SAN DIEGO STATE: went 2-1 SU/ATS in 2017 after upsetting ranked-foes, so post-huge-win effect has been nominal. At UDUB on-deck, but a mere three seems doable...ASU 24 17
#25 Michigan State: IDLE (next @ Indiana)
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW... those who remember “Gilligan’s Island”...Ginger or Hail-Mary-Ann???!!! Also, with no rivers in the Vegas Valley, Vindicator still baptizes his converts in Lake Mead! (Not to worry backers of Loyola-Chicago's Sister Jean. We plan to give the Ramblers’ spiritual-leader her due as we approach college-hoops season! Stay Tuned!)
Elsewhere in Da’ City of Brotherly Love...local gendarmes used an undisclosed-substance to keep fans from scaling the light-posts following Philly’s Super Bowl victory. Vindicator went old-school, employing Crisco to keep his followers from scampering up the blog-posts in the wake of his Week Two results!
In a follow-up to our Week 2 Lead Story...”Neither spread, nor rain, nor gloom of Black, Golden or Scarlet Knight...(shall keep the scented mail from ’ delivered!)
Early ATS-poison...the Baggies of New Mexico State now show 0-3SU/0-3ATS to-date (though could actually pocket outright wins and/or spread-wins over next two tilts facing rival-Lobos at home followed by UTEP on the road).
If a certain 80’s-band plays in the background during over-used game-commentary by much-criticized NFL-announcer Chris Collinsworth, do wear hear...“RPO Speedwagon”???!!! (Feel free to weigh-in here Star Wars aficionados!). We’re queueing-up Bon Jovi to hear...’ On A Prayer!
Word-of-caution to the local hometown-heroes ahead of this weekend’s UNLV melee vs. Prairie View A&M. ’ outscore the FCS squad 12-0 in the 4th Quarter to edge Da’ Panthers 31-28! Jus’ ’.
After a pre-Royal ' backstage meet-and-greet in April, da' Queen Mum drafted at #18 of the first round to fill a need at Buckingham Palace left-guard!
Errata: Our Week One pub noted Clemson’s 2017 Shoppe Talk tally as 37-2 2017-18. Clearly Dr. Daniels was ’ us proof-read said-edition, which should’ve noted 3-7-2 (.300)!
Hooray Fer Da’ Little Guy: In a three-touchdown hole, the Black Bears of FCS Maine came back to beat Western Kentucky last week! This week, we think Rhode Island (27 votes in the FCS poll) could win outright at UConn, which has been outscored 118-24 in consecutive defeats by Central Florida and Boise State (Granted, both of those are Group of Five contenders a coveted 2019 bowl-berth, but still...)
“Locked in a Box”: Stanford (whom we ’ put in this spot last week...and has three forecast- in a pair of weeks!) covered vs. USC, ’ us even at 1-1 (.500)!
Black Shirt: We award half the admired-attire each to PSU-Pitt kickers, Jake Pinegar and Alex respectively, for missing FGs, helping us grab a push rather than absorb a forecast-loss on our “under fitty-seven" call! Honorable mention to ASU K Brandon Ruiz for nailing 29-yard chippie as the clock struck all-zeroes vs. to validate our “upset alert” on that game!
Shoppe Talk: Vacancies are available this week as Clemson and Our Lady posted and the Mounted Ears were off-da’-board facing FCS Y-Town State! (BTW at 0-2 each to-date in 2018, ’Bama and Oklahoma are on watch-status (or Animal House-fans...”double-secret probation”!)
Week 3 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 5-3-1 (.625)
Ball State +14 ½ over INDIANA, Ohio +5 ½ over VIRGINIA, TENNESSEE –29 over Texas-El Pesto, Texas State +10 ½ over SOUTH ALABAMA
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to meet a guy-who-knows-a-guy-who-knows-a-guy that buys and sells plastic-straws on da’ Black Market!