Wednesday, November 14, 2018
MID-TERM ELECTION RESULTS STILL SUSPECT
INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana (TMZ)…November 6th has come and gone and final decisions for Senatorial-races and below have mostly-been determined, Florida [again] notwithstanding. Yet many voters are still-uneasy, recalling memories of March 2018, when Russian leader Putin invoked a famous pianist and called upon his fellow countrymen to "Rachmaninoff the Vote", leading Westerners to believe he was talking about the U.S. presidential campaign. But insiders say, knowing his re-election was already a lock, the phrase was actually code for influencing the NCAA Tournament Committee and AP Poll voting for the Big Dance. Putin has denied the implications, but conspiracy-theorists contend Soviet-meddling was the only explanation for #1 Virginia's loss in the Round of 64 to #16 UMBC and Loyola-Chicago's improbable deep-run in the tournament.
Enduring a third-consecutive effort behind-da'-chains before Saturday’s games even kicked-off, yer numb-skull narrator survived to eek-out a 10-10-1 (95-100-4, .487). Kansas City Chiefs’ WR Tyreek Hill, in the aftermath of his touchdown vs. the Chargers on Sunday, leapt into da’ stands, assumed control of the CBS-camera and filmed his own celebration-penalty-flag. Earlier that morning, Vindicator jumped the sportsbook-counter and grabbed-direction of the security-cam to capture his losing parlay-wager on 8-MM ahead of taping a Beta-Max version of...
THE WEBER KID'S 2018 WEEK 12 FORECAST
(As also captured on the Wendy’s Robo-Cam!)
FRI. NOV. 16
NEW MEXICO (+20 ½) over #23 Boise State: Of Lobos’ 7 defeats, only 2 have been by this many...31 at Wisconsin and 31 by Fresno State. Two of three in this series have been relatively-tight, sandwiching four-score win by Boise in 2016. Broncos return to the rankings for first time since mid-September and have big-contest vs. Utah State up-next. Style-points accomplish less than keepin’ starters healthy for the duration. A cover by the host would allow yer frenetic-forecaster to avoid 4th-straight week headin’ into Saturday already in the red....Broncos 31 Wolves 13
SAT. NOV. 17
Citadel @ #1 ALABAMA: No Line.
#2 CLEMSON (-28 ½) over Duke: Tigers 40 Beelzebubs 7
#12 Syracuse (+9 ½) over #3 Notre Dame (@ Bronx, NY): Leprechauns are two-more scoreboard-triumphs away from a perfect-season. With down-Trojans-team left, we figure this to be the last-barrier to that achievement. Our Lady shows 10 outright victories, yet pedestrian 5-4-1 against the number. Last meeting was fitty-thirty-three Irish-win, on a neutral-site, in early 2016. Marc Lawrence notes Coach Kelly has put less than half of games–played following Halloween in da’ dubya-column since 2011, but ND has two of four-such melees in-pocket to-date with a pair to-play. ‘Cuse expects startin’-quarterback Cook to take da’ field here, lost at currently-#2 Clemson by 4, and has covered 5 of 6 roadies...Rudy 31 “I...AM...SYRACUS” 24
Indiana (+28) over #4 MICHIGAN: Wolverines hand the Alma Mater its ass in 42-7 win then replicate that score at bottom-feeder Rutgers????!!! Big Blue has beaten da’ spread in five of six in Ann Arbor and have yielded a lone-touchdown in each of last three contests. Hoosiers have fallen by 7, 10 and 7 in past trio of this series. Indy needs a dubya to make the bowls and have home-date with feisty-Purdue left. UM gets Buckeyes in Columbus on da’ horizon...Michigan 42 Indiana 35
Massachusetts (+44) over #5 GEORGIA: ‘Dawg-Pound is safely in the SEC Championship game. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook. Com had the Minute-Rice leaving the gridiron with just three triumphs in last 17 one-possession contests, but UMass is 2-0 in 2018 in such-occasions. Said-handicapper also lists the Army of Amherst going 7-fer-7 against the line facing the SEC. Joja’ beat Austin Peay by 45 and Middle Tennessee by 42. UM gave-up 55 or more five-times already in 2018. We see this as a chance fer UGA to rest some peeps in aftermath of Auburn game...Georgia 49 UMass 7
#6 OKLAHOMA (-36) over Kansas: Best-guess fer “wish we had it back”. Wouldn’t have wanted to be a member of the Sooners’ D during this week’s practices. Not even CB Tre Brown, who tipped-away the Cowboys two-point-attempt to preserve OK’s track-meet victory. Blue Jays, “improving” (such as it is) and lost by just 32 at Texas Tech team infamously-known for sheets-in-the-wind defense. KU has been outscored past three seasons in da’ series by 159-13, with MOV “falling” to 38 in 2017. Schooners travel to Morgantown on a short-week after this, but... Schooners 56 Jayhawks 16
#7 West Virginia (-5) over OKLAHOMA STATE: “Over 71” wouldn’t be an unreasonable-call either... Mounties 44 State 37
Arizona (+10) over #8 WASHINGTON STATE: Wazzou 38 Wildcats 31
#9 Ohio State (-14 ½) over MARYLAND: Only so-many strings State can keep on the road to substitute. Big Blue on the horizon for the Buckeyes, but Maryland fell-short in 34-32 defeat at Indy and shows 1-3 ATS over past four-outings. Needing one-more triumph to make the post-season and visiting Happy Valley to close-out the year, it’s over (done, not above the total!). Looks like the Box Turtles will spend the off-season building on the opening neutral-site (Landover, MD) besting of now-#13 Texas. OSU has piled-on 62 points in each of last two years, but are a little-off by Scarlet-and-Gray standards, but...Black-Eyed Peas 35 Terrarium 10
Rice (+42 ½) over #10 LSU: We were on the wrong-end of da’ bad-beat when Bengals took a knee at Bacon-Strips-one with a minute-left to blow da’ cover. Fine. Owls have a lone-other goose-egg...42-zippo defeat in Houston by UAB. We predict one more...ya heard it here first...Tigers 38 Rice-A-Roni 0
#19 Cincinnati @ #11 UCF (“under 58 ½): Given down-season fer South Florida Bulls, this figures to be final-hurdle to Golden Knights’ (Orlando, not Vegas!) New Year’s Six-spot. Only UCF’s crazy 31-30 win at Memphis has been this close, though triumphs of 12 over Temple, and by 11 over the Ensigns suggest the Bearkats have a chance. Knights show 5-1 “under” streak. Cincy, who had won just 3 conference tilts in 16 tries the past two years, shows a similar 6-3 “below” tally...UCF 27 ‘Kats 20.
#18 Iowa State (+3) over #13 TEXAS: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Dust Devils weathered a 1-3 SU start to rip-off five consecutive-victories, including West Virginia and Texas Tech (both in Ames). Steers have been involved in very-competitive games in five of last six. State has had a much-better time of it recently and should be the fresher-squad coming-in....Cyclones 27 Cattle 17
#14 Utah State (-27) over COLORADO STATE: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK...USU has less-than-previously-intense “showdown” on the blue turf coming-up and has pasted CSU by 42, 39 and 38 last three years. Rams no-showed in 49-10 debacle at Reno last Saturday and have no shot to keep-up here...Aggies 54 CSU 13
Idaho @ #15 FLORIDA: No Line.
#16 Penn State @ RUTGERS (“under 50”): Lions 29 Naughts 6
Oregon State (+33) over #17 WASHINGTON: Sled Dogs 44 Beavers 20
Middle Tennessee State (+16) over #20 KENTUCKY: Blue Raiders are C-USA East Division front-runners (6-1, 7-3 SU overall) and will make KY work for it...’Cats 28 MTSU 24
#21 Utah @ COLORADO (“over 48”): Utes 34 Buffs 29
#22 Boston College @ FLORIDA STATE (“under 48 ½”): Iggles 19 ‘Noles 13
#24 Northwestern (-2 ½) over MINNESOTA: With upset over Iowa last week, N-Dub secured inaugural Big Tensor division-crown. Other than 29-12 Gerbils-win last time here in 2016, Wildcats bookended that loss with shutouts of Minny. NW has a half-dozen contests decided by 4 or fewer on the year. Varmints were blasted by Maryland, Nebraska and (GASP!) Illinois...granted, all on the B10 tarmac, but still...what are we missin’ here???!!...Harvard-Midwest 24 O-fers 17
Arkansas @ #25 MISSISSIPPI STATE (“under 46 ½”): Bulldogs 27 Bacon Bits 9
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, we just wanna’ know which Russians got paid-off to hack their way into the SEC schedule of opponents this week fer da’ conference’s Top 25 teams? I-AA Citadel @ ‘BAMA? UMass @ Joja’?! Rice @ LSU?? FCS Idaho @ FLORIDA??!! KENTUCKY, vs. Middle Tennessee State, seems to be the only team that may have something more than a non-conference scrimmage on its hands.
In addition, San Diego State officials are blaming North Korean cyber-criminals for giving UNLV access to the Aztecs’ playbook ahead of the Rebels upset-victory last Saturday! Dennis Rodman has adamantly-refuted the allegations!
Nursery rhymes meet NY Giants QB...."Old MacDonald had a farm...Eli...Eli...O!" "With a sack-sack here and a sack-sack there...here a sack...there a sack...everywhere a sack-sack..."
During Sunday’s contest vs. Seattle, Rams QB Jared Goff detected a blitz coming and audibled “Halle Berry! Halle Berry!”. Likewise, Vindy stood in the casino, surveyed the sportsbook and, sensing pressure by bookies cheating-up toward the counter, invoked a classic soap-opera spoof and barked “Mary Hartman! Mary Hartman!” to change this week’s picks!
Former NFL star-defender Jared Allen, famed fer his “hog-tie”-celebrations and mullet-’do, expressed a goal of grabbing Olympic-curling gold in 2022. Vindy’s spies note the ex-DL is training by sliding quarterbacks down the ice...head-first!
Following-up on Week 11’s lead story, we note previously-released Michael Jackson-lyrics...”Sister Jean is not our lov-er...she’s just a girl...who says that Iiiiiii am da’ nunnnn...the Chalice is not my son!”
Last Spring, after making the Final Four, players for Loyola-Chicago made a vow to go down to the last man, a la the Alamo. True story...in his days as a tank platoon- leader in Germany in the mid-80's, the men of his unit made a similar-pact to do likewise protecting a biergarten in their area of defense!
A classic ABBA-hit meets basketball...sing it with us...”There was some-thing in the air-ball that niiiight....the team-starrrs were briiiight..Fernannnndo. They were shooting there fer youuuuu and meee...fer twoooooo’s and threeees, Fernannndo.”
Is it just us, or do our fellow Game of Thrones fans think Winnipeg Jets' Connor Hellebuyck looks like Khal Drogo with a longer beard?!
“Wish We Had It Back”: Yup, we called Da’ Noles +18 over RUDY as “best guess”!
"Locked in a Box": Da’ Bluegrass Kitties lost SU at Rocky Top, lowering (again) da’ lock-record to 4-6 (.400)!
Black Shirt: The onyx-tee goes to USF K Coby Weiss fer having his PAT following Bulls’ first-touchdown blocked, allowing us to salvage a push (Cincy –12) rather than absorb an “L” in South Florida’s 35-23 defeat!
Shoppe Talk: ‘Bama, Penn State, West Virginia and Florida all did a brother a solid this week and get liberty until next Saturday, but Miami 0-6 (.000) and Meeshigan 1-9 (who hasn’t been on our predicted-side since season-freakin'-opener) occupies a lotta’ space at .100!
Vindy's Week 12 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-3 Season: 24-23-1 (.511)
NORTH TEXAS –3 over Florida Atlantic, Pittsburgh –5 over WAKE FOREST, Texas Tech –6 over KANSAS STATE, California @ STANFORD “under 45”, HAWAII –6 ½ over Unlv