Vindy's 2007-08 Bowl Recap

FORECAST CAUSES AIR TRAVEL DELAY DOWN UNDER; BIG APPLE HELPS COUNTRY SHED 2007 SEASON

SYDNEY, Australia (CNN)....Six-inch barber shears? Check. Twelve ounces of mouthwash? Knock yourself out. A box of matches? Please. Vindy’s picks on the laptop?! Holy crap! Hold da’ phone! Do not pass GO, do not collect $200! An Aussie tourist headed for Las Vegas over the holidays kept a U.S.-bound Qantas flight on the runway in the Outback for several hours after flight attendants caught the passenger perusing Vindy’s Picks on his laptop during pre-flight preparations. Air marshals eventually wrestled the portable computer away from the passenger, but not before he actually placed Internet wagers using some of the picks. The laptop was "secured" in the cockpit and a "random" FAA review of the flight’s black box revealed audio of the captain and co-pilot "knockin’ back a few" while discussing each prediction. Media spies in Sin City let it leak that the co-pilot and original passenger-in-question made tidy profits on Vindicator’s "lock" choice, Virginia +5 1/2!

Meanwhile, back in Gotham City...it was "If you can shred it, they will come". An industrial-strength shredder constructed in Times Square drew thousands from across the nation to New York City recently to symbolically eliminate bad memories of calendar year 2007. They stood in line, some even rival fans standing shoulder-to-shoulder, on December 28 for hours...for the opportunity to cleanse their lives. Athletes, coaches, athletic directors, bettors and yes, the prognosticators and pundits. They shredded photos, box scores, pieces of paper bearing handwritten win-loss records and the names of opponents to whom they lost. For items too big to shred, such as Heisman trophies, jack-hammers were available. (Editor’s note: Vindy was there with all 39 "best bet" picks that didn’t materialize!)

THE WEBER KID’S 2007-08 BOWL RECAP

(An annual summary of the family-friendly bowl forecast...Okay, okay...the family of note happens to be the Mansons! Happy now??!!)

Ten bowl games in, Vindicator found himself in a hole...nay..a mineshaft. Vin’s opening 0-5 and 1-9 run would end up being a microcosm of his regular season and left our prognosticator imploring the bookies, "Please don’t Tase me, Bro!" (Or for readers who know Vindicator on a more personal, first-name basis..."Please don’t Tays me, Bro!") and uttering other phrases that landed him on Santa’s "naughty list"! In fact, our fearless forecaster got off to such a cold start that fans attending the NHL’s outdoor Winter Classic in Orchard Park, New York between the Pens and the Sabres, if they looked close enough, could see Vindy’s Picks just below the rink surface!

With his chance at a winning bowl record disappearing faster than a Dice-K gyroball and needing a pep talk, Vindicator got on the cellular Bat Phone and called Peyton Manning, who said, "That’s okay, Vindy. You still got the best arm in the neighborhood...Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood! Take that (forecast) out and paint some flames on it or get a cool decal, like a Number 18 on the side." Heeding the multi-time Pro Bowler’s advice, Vin found himself livin’ La Vida Bowla on December 29, correctly picking the trifecta, including the Lions’ win and cover over A&M, despite ugly officiating (for both teams) and horrible special teams play, en route to an inspired 11-4 rally, but a late Hack-a-Vin strategy by the bookies (that saw an 0-3 slide) put Vin in the position of needing a 4-0 finish to gain the better-than-.500 record, but the Hokies put an end to that chance by turning it over three times in a 24-21 outright defeat to Kansas. Vin watched the Orange Bowl (the Thursday night Orange Bowl!) until Kansas went up 17-0 in the second quarter then tuned into Jeopardy as our weekday-challenged prophet dropped the third of all three Thursday-night bowl affairs!

Vindy finished 14-17 for the bowl season (with Kentucky/FSU "off" at the time his picks were published), but behind the Cavs of Virginia, Weber ran his season "lock" record to 10-5 for the second consecutive year, meaning Vindy’s locks have gone a very profitable 20-10 (66.67%) over the last bi-ennium. (Take that, smart guys!). Vin also called one of the two major upsets, ECU +10 ½ outright over Boise State (despite the Pirates’ multiple efforts to give it away late in the game!).

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
"It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!" (It did, however, come with a re-gifted JoPa Chia pet!)

Note to self: Do not bet against the Middies in the post-season. Do not bet against the Middies in the post-season. Do not bet against the Middies in the post-season (especially on Thursday night)!

Can the Weber Kid just pin his poor bowl performance on the presence of Jessica Simpson in the stands wearing a jersey with Vindicator’s uniform number as Vindy took the field to prepare his post-season picks???!! (BTW, the Cowboys are -7 ½ over the G-Men this weekend unless Simpson is in the stands, in which case, the line drops to Dallas -3 1/2!

The 2007 Weber-Friendlies recorded two wins (Rutgers [7-2] and Arkansas [6-1-1]) with one loss (Virginia Tech [10-3]), while Flame-Throwers posted two losses {SHOCKER!}(Boston College [3-8] and Hawaii [2-8]) with one win (USC [4-9]). Meanwhile, Vindicator’s conference allegiance of choice, the Big Tenuous, went a disappointing 3-5 SU/2-5-1 ATS, with only Michigan and those Nifty Lions of Penn State both winning outright and covering the line!
Favorites tanked the trend of covering games before Christmas, going only 2-4 ATS.

Had the national title game been played one day later on January 8, Elvis impersonators could have taken the halftime stage to celebrate The King’s birthday and sung "Love Me (Big) Tender" in honor of Ohio State!

In support of the writers’ strike, the presentation of the BCS trophy was actually done in a pre-taped format!

Vindy’s asked the CIA to destroy videotapes showing the methods he uses to arrive at his annual bowl predictions!

Since the 1997-98 season through ‘07-‘08, Vin has posted a bowl record of 133-141-3 (.485).
On the silver screen...a Notre Dame head coach known more for his tailgate parties than his victories on the field gets asked to end the political tensions between Russia and the U.S. in "Charlie Weis’ War", Nick Cage searches for valuable, but mysterious ancient betting tickets in "National Treasure: Sportsbook of Secrets" and a Detroit Lions running back contemplates things he wants to do before he dies in "The T.J. Duckett List".

If The Grinch Who Stole Christmas had been set in Bloomington, Indiana, would there have been a little girl named Cindy-Lou Hoosier? (Hmmmm..."Then he got her a drink [that’s considered "contributing to the delinquency of a minor" in some states] and he gave her the spread..."). Ahhhhhh...another literary classic bites the dust at the hands of the Weber Kid!

Last month, the completion of construction of the largest photovoltaic installation in the North American continent occurred at local Nellis AFB. The installation provides one-quarter of the energy needed to power the base. Mighta’ been more useful to put that sucker in the UNLV locker room to provide all FOUR quarters of the power needed by the Rebels.

Also in local Las Vegas news, with the annual Red Flag exercises underway this week at Nellis AFB, Vindy’s hopin’ to pick up a few tactical pointers on dropping flares from the tail end of his parlay card as decoys for bookies pick-seeking missiles while his forecast flies successful weekend sorties over the sportsbook this coming Fall!

North Korea appears to be behind the power curve on meeting its required timeline for nuclear disarmament. A spokesperson for the Communist nation said it’s official nuke dismantlement team had been busy watching the bowls, but the time between the BCS Championship game and each NFL playoff round would allow workers to likely complete the project by halftime of the Super Bowl!

The dog belonging to Red Sox RP Jonathan Papelbon reportedly ate the ball constituting the final out of the 2007 World Series. The resulting "end product" turned out to be the 2007 season for the Miami Dolphins!

Premiering this month on NBC, watch as seasoned-veteran, steroid-enhanced forecasters nicknamed "Tin", "Glass" and "Chocolate Puddin’" square-off vs. male and female average Joe, forecaster-wannabes in a series of physical contests on American Prognosticators!

UNLV is one of two schools in the nation swapping game tickets for drug tests with local agencies. We smell a scandal brewing!

Among the names named in Jose Canseco’s book and the Mitchell Report: Beethoven, Da Vinci, Christina Ricci, Margaret Thatcher, Verne Troyer, Bill Gates, Charlie Chaplin, Gandhi, Joey Chestnut, Harry Potter and Abe Lincoln (oh please...like the Great Emancipator’s stovepipe hat got that tall on its own?????!!!)

Perusing the latest catalog from What on Earth, Vindy noticed a book titled "23 Ways to Get to First Base". The Weber Kid was both elated and disappointed to learn the tome truly was about baseball!

In political news, the Clinton camp got some heat for deriding Vindicator’s kindergarten letter noting his desire to be a college football forecaster when he grew up! Hillary would eventually finish 3rd at the Iowa caucus. Oddly, she would also finish 3rd in the final BCS poll! On New Year’s Day, Clinton informed hubby Bill that she knows that he truly loves her because he was giving up six (count ‘em, six!) bowl games to go stumping for her that day. Fine. But if Slick Willy had passed on the BCS Championship game to do likewise, we’d had one word for the ex-Commander -in-Chief... "wuss"!

Senator Joseph Biden of Delaware was the only one among ten candidates in Iowa to refuse having a picture taken with a Mr. Potato-Head figure. A former resident of the Blue Hen State himself, Vindicator came to Biden’s rescue and had a photo taken with the nostalgic toy. Biden withdrew from the presidential race following a poor final tally at the caucus, but he was immediately hired by the Miami Dolphins!

New England’s Bill Belichick was recently named the AP NFL Coach of Da’ Year. The Pats hoped to capture the presentation of the award on video, but couldn’t find any tapes that weren’t already full of opponents’ defensive hand-signals!

Last month, 82-year-old Marv Levy threw in the towel as general manager of the Buffalo Bills. Vindy’s spies say Marv is about to replace 81-year-old Joe Paterno as head coach of the Nittany Lions. Nice to see the folks in Happy Valley bringin’ in a little more experience! Gotta’ love a guy who’s been around the block-in-the-back a time or two!

After reported conversations with God, evangelist Pat Robertson has predicted recession and world violence this year. And for a mere $79 donation to the 700 Club, believers can also get his platinum 2008 College Football Plays of the Year package!

BTW, bowls are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!

Vindicator salutes his alma mater’s women’s volleyball team, as the Lady Lions defeated Stanford to take the national title last month!

Honoring the centennial anniversary of the penning of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame", the U.S. Postal Service is releasing a stamp featuring a baseball card. Vindicator recommends the following: Nolan Ryan ("express" mail), and Chuck Knoblauch ("airmail"). Barry Bonds’ rookie card would be fine, but any card in recent years wouldn’t fit on anything smaller than an over-sized package (and that stamp could only feature his head!).

June Jones has left the head coaching spot at Hawaii to take a similar position at SMU. Great. Will the Ponies be bustin’ out the Polynesian War Dance before each game?! Will anybody in Dallas, Texas know what the hell it means??!! "Aloha" shouldn’t be a challenge, but who’s gonna’ help the kiddies in the Mustangs’ summer youth literacy program stumble through pronunciation of "Mele Kalikimaka"???!!!

An entrepreneurial woman has started selling Tasers to women at gatherings that have drawn comparisons to "Tupperware parties". The portable protection devices even come in pink. Make those puppies customizable to include team colors, uniform numbers of favorite players, mascots or team logos and there’s a whole untapped market of sports fans (and officials), pro and college, out there! Picture frat boys tasing each other when home teams score, fans zapping visiting fans when the opponents score, referees using black-and-white striped models to break-up on-field/on-court/on-ice dust-ups between players. The possibilities are endless! Your host even foresees John Madden using the Telestrator to diagram "assessment" of 15-yard personal foul penalties..."The electrodes flew over the defensive end here, around the linebacker there and... right into ...BOOM!..the safety!"

LEFTOVER HASH (Stuff that was available but didn’t find its way into the forecast earlier this season)
A December 2006 e-mail from Lisa Nowak to fellow astronaut and love interest Bill Oefelein read..."First urge will be to rip your clothes off, throw you on the ground and love the hell out of you!" Funny...Vindicator sent that same e-mail to his bookie upon learning he’d hit his first parlay bet of the season!

Dairy Queen will sponsor a new stadium at University of Minnesota. Anybody else out there see the irony in DQ stepping up to support a Gophers team whose defense was as tough as soft-serve ice cream this season?!

Sports agent Scott Bora wants World Series to be best of nine, with two neutral site games prior to the usual 2-3-2 format. Uh oh...can you say...World Series Bowl?

NASA’s recruiting volunteers for a pretend 520-day isolation trip to the "Red Planet" (that’s "Mars" for the non-skill-position players out there!). Given that the fact that Vindicator sat through all 32 bowl games without human contact, we think he’s a shoo-in for this one!

In related news, NASA wants a permanently-staffed station on the da’ moon by 2024. Great. Vin foresees another University of Texas branch campus (we’re thinking serious homefield advantage since zero-gravity and exposure to radioactive particles would be tough to duplicate in practice!) and yet another post-season game, possibly sponsored by millionaire Richard Branson and called the VirginRecords.Com Sea-of-Tranquility Lunar Bowl! We can hear the announcers now..."One small step...outta’ bounds....?!" How ‘bout, "The Eagles have landed" ???!!

A musician claims to have discovered hidden music in DaVinci’s "The Last Supper". Turned out to be the Notre Dame fight song!

Last March, Notre Dame bullied Indianapolis’ Cathedral High School into giving up its use of the Fightin’ Irish leprechaun logo. Unfortunately, that victory didn’t go into the South Bend win-column toward bowl-eligibility!

In July, the U.S. (featuring mostly smaller-college players) participated in the World Cup Football final (yes, sports fans...OUR football), which was previously won in 1999 and 2003 by (GASP!) Japan! The USA beat South Korea 77-0 (or as we’d call it here...SoCal vs. Florida International).

With Dr. Tom Osbourne back at the controls in Lincoln, will Nebraska’s game-plan return to three yards and a cloud of husk?

Peyton Manning got to wave the green flag at last year’s Indy 500...the Colts’ Pro Bowl QB looked over the formation of cars, started flapping his arms and barked audibles while gesturing at specific vehicles, leading to several false starts and autos jumping offsides!

A group of astronomers renamed an asteroid in honor of George Takei for his role in "Star Trek". Likewise, a group of meteorologists renamed a glacier in honor of Vindicator’s "best bets"! (Though the Notre Dame offense was in consideration as well!).

NBA rookie Greg Oden went to the hospital this past summer to allegedly have his tonsils out. Oh sure, wait til next month when he goes in to get treatment for osteoporosis and shingles!

Last spring, the Marines banned large tattoos. Fortunately, Vindicator was a member of Uncle Sam’s Army and continues with impunity to wear his tattoo of blank NCAA Tourney brackets on his back! Hoo-rahhhhhh!!!! (He also fills ‘em in each March with temporary henna tattoos of the 65 tourney team names!).

In related news, among the new incentives to boost recruiting is "creating a more pleasant boot camp environment" or as Army recruiters are calling it...the Oakland Raiders clause!

The bobbies of London will wear cameras strapped to their trademark helmets to capture crime video. If law enforcement personnel in Cincinnati do likewise, Bengals fans can see first-hand video of their favorite players on "COPS".

The December 2006 issue of Playboy noted the International Association for Sport and Phys Ed found 12 states that allow public school students to earn phys ed credits by attending online classes. Vin does a mean virtual sack dance!

The 2007 AFC Championship game (Pats/Colts) drew a Nielsen rating of 28.1, beating the ‘06 Academy Awards by 2%. Vin suggests..."And the Oscar for best supporting lineman goes to..." (BTW, the rating for the ‘07 NFC championship game [between da’ Bears and da’ Saints] was 25.1).

Meanwhile, Arizona quarterback Matt Leinart’s former college squeeze has asked for $30,000 a month in child support. If Matt doesn’t pay up and the Cards don’t cover the number each week, might we see his face on one of those billboards identifying him as a "spread-beat dad"??!! Broncos RB Travis Henry was also ordered to pay child support....has nine children by nine women in four states. It appears he’s more productive on the road than at home.

The Mountaineers of WVU won the 2007 NIT, but the championship T-shirts spelled out "West Virgna". Vndy thnks tht’s bllsht! Guess there’s no I-formation in basketball??!!. Funny, names are also misspelled on the NHL’s Stanley Cup. Same vendor?!

BTW, we’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no "I" in "team" because Ralphie shot it out with his Red Ryder!

Earlier this year, Las Vegas lost out on the 2016 Olympic Summer soccer games. Bummer. Athletes could’ve swapped Olympic poker chips instead of pins, and gone home with souvenir outcall handbills!

Speaking of that other "football", David Beckham has been tabbed to teach Snoop Dogg’s children to play soccer. In exchange, the Doggie-Style artist will teach Becks’ kids to fire an automatic assault rifle!

Last June, Cincy Bengals WR Chad Johnson raced and beat Restore the Roar in 1/8 mile (110 yards) contest for charity. The horse broke from the 8th pole while the wideout took off from the 16th. Let’s see Street Sense run routes and catch passes during two-a-days in August!!

The National Football League prohibited the Chicago Park District from showing last season’s Super Bowl in Soldier Field, with proceeds going to charity, because it would water down ratings. Apparently, NFL stands for "No Free-Loaders"!

Sports Illustrated reported a pregnant woman had agreed to advertise an online auction on her tummy during the Super Bowl in exchange for two tickets to the Big Game. Vin’s not pregnant, but would gladly advertise the BCS Championship Bowl on his beer-belly for a couple of tix to next season’s title tilt!

Producers of the Super Bowl have very few worries of such previous disasters as the "wardrobe malfunction" with 57-year-old Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers doing the halftime gig for this year’s Big Game. Vindicator, however, plans to make an unannounced appearance and hold his parlay card lengthwise at waist-level behind a curtain, no doubt drawing cries of lewdness and obscenity across the nation!

Researchers from Chicago’s Northeastern Illinois Uni found what they believe to be the New World’s oldest brewery at a 2600-year-old site in Southern Peru. Apparently, the Wari Empire made "chicha" from a tree and drank it for ceremonial purposes...which included toasting Da’ Bears!

Last May, Lakers coach Phil Jackson told his players they "have the brainpower of slugs or earthworms". Gotta’ wonder if the folks at UC-Santa Cruz (home of the Fightin’ Banana Slugs) took offense to that.

Vindy’s 2007 submission for the the acronym contest at EmeraldNuts.com: Elderly Men Enjoy Ranting About Lines Despite Not Understanding The Spread

On the small screen next Fall...Extreme Makeover: Homefield Edition

John Rocker says he took steroids, notably HGH, for medical reasons. Can’t imagine what health condition would necessitate consumption of the "Hate Gays Hormone".

We here at at Vindy’s Picks think Roger Clemens, who adamantly denied accusations of steroid use on a recent "60 Minutes" interview is clean. In April, the Rocket was seen warming up his pitching arm on the roof of Planet Hollywood, some 43 stories above Las Vegas Boulevard,...and his son still managed to homer off him!

The amateur baseball draft was televised for 1st time this past year. Brady Quinn still fell to Day 2 for the Cleveland Indians!

Coming soon to Prime Time, Josh Radnor, with help from Neil Patrick Harris of "Doogie Howser" fame, recounts hooking up with future spouse Alyson Harrigan at the local sportsbook in..."How I Bet Your Mother".

Back in April, Rutgers women’s hoops coach C. Vivian Stringer signed a seven-year contract. Don Imus subsequently apologized because it wasn’t eight years!

Florida hoops coach Billy Donovan likened Gator center Al Horford to Don Corleone. Harford has never seen "The Godfather".A little advice, Al..."Leave the gun. Take the free throws."

The NCAA three-point line was moved back to 20 feet- 9 inches (Let’s call it 7 yards)......Big deal. When the hoopsters can score three from beyond 40 yards with eleven guys coming at them against the wind, we’ll talk.

Dallas Mavericks guard Jason Terry dove into a crowd, plowing into an elderly woman, then apologized by giving her a kiss. Turns out the "woman" was former Knicks announcer Marv Albert, who immediately whipped off his wig and exclaimed his trademark "Yessssssss!"

If Major League Baseball’s Capitol Beltway team adopts a kosher hotdog as its mascot, would we have the Washington Hebrew Nationals?

If Clubber Lang’s day-job involved working at Sherman-Williams, would one of the famous quotes from Rocky III have been, "My prediction? Paaaaaainnnt."

OK, we’re pushin’ da’ envelope just a bit to fit this one in this column, but so be it...it was recently revealed that Barack Obama and Dick Cheney have a common ancestor. The mutual relative was apparently out sport-hunting when he launched his bone-club into the pterodactyl blind and hit a fellow hunter right in the face!

And finally...Muhammad Ali’s own food line hit five college campuses this past season..Vin recommends the following motto to expand the Greatest’s reach to NCAA students everywhere... "floats like a buttermilk, stings like a beet?"

Until August, sportsfans...."May the road dog rise up to beat you!" (Something like that!)

Post-2007 Records of 3rd Year Coaches

A bit later than promised, but here we are again, checking the results (post-bowls) forged by coaches in their third year with their respective teams....

‘07 3rd Year Coach ‘06 SU/ATS record ‘07 SU/ATS record (Comments)

Les Miles, LSU 11-2/6-7 12-2/5-9 (Nat’l Title win)

Ed Orgeron, Ol Miss 4-8/5-4-2 3-9/6-5 (fired)

Urban Meyer, Florida 13-1/5-7-1 9-4/8-4 (bowl loss)

Steve Spurrier, SC 8-5/9-3 6-6/5-4-2

Ron Zook, Illinois 2-10/5-6 9-4/7-5 (bowl loss)

Mike Gundy, OKSU 7-6/7-4-1 7-6/6-5-1 (bowl win)

Ty Willingham, Wash 5-7/6-5-1 4-9/6-7

Walt Harris, Stanford 1-11/3-9 4-8/5-7

Dave Wannstedt, Pitt 6-6/5-6 5-7/6-4-1

Greg Robinson, Syracuse 4-8/8-4 2-10/3-9

Kyle Whittingham, Utah 8-5/7-4-1 9-4/7-6 (bowl win)

Bronco Mendenhall, BYU 11-2/10-2-1 11-2/6-6 (bowl win)

Mike Sanford, UNLV 2-10/4-6-1 2-10/4-7-1

Mark Snyder, Marshall 5-7/4-7 3-9/4-7

Skip Holtz, ECU 7-6/10-3 8-5/8-5 (bowl win)

Brent Guy, Utah State 1-11/3-9 2-10/7-4-1

Hal Mumme, NMSU 4-8/7-3 4-9/4-7

Dick Tomey, San Jose State 9-4/9-3 5-7/6-5

Charlie Weis, ND 10-3/4-8-1 3-9/5-7

Bill Cubit, W. Michigan 8-5/8-5 4-8/3-6-2

Frank Solich, Ohio U. 9-5/7-6 6-6/6-5

Shane Montgomery, MI-OH 2-10/4-8 6-8/6-8 (MAC title game loss)

Vindy's 2007-08 Bowl Predictions

PONIES TAKE YOUTH LITERACY PROGRAM NATIONWIDE

DALLAS, Texas (MSNBC)...American youths are once again behind as many as 10 other industrialized nations throughout the world in reading test scores (though three of said "countries" were actually the Canadian provinces of Alberta, British Columbia and Ontario. Based on the exchange rate, that’s really only 1.99 countries!). The football players of Southern Methodist University aim to fix that through expansion of its summer youth literacy program, known as "Milk and Cookies with the Mustangs". SMU plans to make it a traveling literacy medicine show and take the program around the United States. Independent observers of the program aren’t certain "who’s teachin’ who to read." Another anonymous educator noted, "The kids’ ability to handle Seuss and Potter is questionable, but they can read X’s and O’s with the best of ‘em! It’s gratifying to hear a child who couldn’t read a lick before the program rattle off ‘96 Z-Out, Split Left Whiskey 7 Post’".

In related news, with the No Child Left Behind legislation on-deck for renewal again five years after George W. signed it into law, the Weber Kid joins the fray and starts up "Beer and Doritos with the Vindicator". The perplexing prognosticator hopes to teach kids how to read betting boards and parlay cards, but also wants to increase math skills by showing students how to convert point-spreads to money lines and vice-versa!

Trying to improve upon a career-best 19 bowl-forecast dubyas for 06'-‘07, Vin dons a pair of Lisa Novak’s astronaut diapers so he doesn’t have to miss a minute of any of this year’s 32 games! Risking a 15-yard unsportsmanlike-conduct flag, the fab forecaster calls back-to-back timeouts to ice the bookies and recalls "nothing is certain but death and taxes"...oh...and..um...cockroaches, fruitcake and...

THE WEBER KID’S 2007-08 BOWL PREDICTIONS
(Lines of December 19, over/under totals in parentheses)

DEC. 20
SAN DIEGO CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA:
Utah over Navy giving 7 ½ (65): Having watched the Army-Navy game, put no stock in Navy’s big win over Army. The Cadets played well on D, but the offense was disheartened after a dropped pass in the end zone and subsequent missed 28-yard FG on Army’s opening drive, much like the deflation that occurred when the Cadets fumbled away the ball after driving deep into Air Force territory on its opening possession. Army’s kick coverage teams weren’t real special either. Utah had BYU on the ropes. It’s lovely weather for a bowl game together with Utes. Another rare go-against-da’-Middies by the Weber Kid...Utah 39 Navy 27

DEC. 21
R&L CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS BOWL:
Memphis over Florida Atlantic taking 2 1/2 (67): While Owls were nothing more than appetizers playing Big Six Conferences, Tigers also struggled early. Tigers played seven regular-season games decided by 4 or less and went 5-1-1 ATS in those contests. Four of those games came away from home. While Memphis managed only a single SU victory in its first four (over an FCS team), Tigers did take 6 of its last 8 (though one of the losses came at home to FAU’s fellow Sun Belt squad, Middle Tennessee). Owls’ early-season triumph over Minnesota was tarnished a bit by Gophers loss to North Dakota State (an upset called by your humble narrator!)... Memphis 24 Florida Atlantic 21

DEC. 22
PAPAJOHNS.COM:
#20 Cincinnati over Southern Miss giving 11 (55): Eagles losses at home by 17 to Central Florida and by 22 at Boise State are only minimally tempered by mere 20-point defeat at Tennessee. Only real knock on the Bearkats is penchant to draw penalties (almost 10 per match for about 81 ypg). If Cincy can help the officials keep the yellow laundry in their pockets and SoMiss doesn’t develop an Air Coryell offense during bowl practices...Cincinnati 40 USM 20

NEW MEXICO:
Nevada-Reno over NEW MEXICO taking 3 (58): Uh oh! Vin changed his initial choice on this one. Lobos are just 2-3 ATS this season in the home-confines of Albuquerque, though they were just a point away from a push against mighty BYU as a 7-point ‘dog. New Mexico’s eight victories matches its highest win total since 2003, but how stoked can the team be to play in its own backyard for the second straight post-season?! Nothing exciting about Reno’s six wins this year either, but ‘Pack hung tough in losses to Minnesota, Boise and Hawaii and worked hard to actually get here. New Mexico plays its 5th bowl in last 6 seasons, but has failed to cover the last four. UNR posted one of Vindy’s bowl wins last season by losing only 21-20 to listless Miami. Reno will want this win more... Wolfpack 26 Lobos 23

PIONEER PUREVISION LAS VEGAS:
#19 Brigham Young over Ucla giving 5 1/2 (47): Bruins coach Karl Dorrell is history, maybe unfairly considering five bowls in five seasons at UCLA. Former DC-now-HC DeWayne Walker needs to find an offense to keep up rather than game-plan a defense here. Probably, the only person disappointed with Cougars’ presence in Sin City is Vindy himself, who had BCS hopes for BYU back in August. Coogs should delight the Mormon-heavy audience at Sam Boyd once again, though maybe not to the extent they did last year vs. listless Ducks...BYU 34 UCLA 20

DEC. 23
SHERATON HAWAII:
East Carolina over #24 Boise State taking 10 ½ (OFF): UPSET SPECIAL. Wow! How many Mainland teams get to play back-to-back matches in the Hawaiian paradise??! Broncos won’t be pullin’ off any of that Statue-of-Liberty silliness that got ‘em nationwide cheers and their playbook some votes as one of the New Seven Wonders of the World earlier this year! State lost by two TDs at UDUB, really hasn’t played anybody other than that except the ‘Bows and is now minus it’s top receiver . Pirates are 25-11 ATS last three seasons and lost by only 10 at Blacksburg...Arrrggghhhh 34 BSU 31

DEC. 26
MOTOR CITY:
Purdue over Central Michigan giving 8 (71): We changed our minds twice on this, leaning initially toward Purdue, then toward the Chippies then back to the Choo-Choos. And as of this publication, we still ain’t sure. Purdue’s only SU bowl victory was win over UDUB in the ‘02 Sun Bowl. That was also Boilermakers’ only spread win in last 7 post-season appearances. This is a rematch of Purdue’s 45-22 win over CMU in West Lafayette in mid-September. Boilers stagger in here, having finished the regular season 0-3/0-2-1 against the number. Chippewas by comparison won 4 of 5 SU, with four of ‘em away from home...Purdue 44 ChiPs 33

DEC. 27
PACIFIC LIFE HOLIDAY:
#12 Arizona State over #17 Texas taking 2 1/2 (62): Ending the regular-season at 109th in pass defense (allowing 275.5 yards per game), perhaps the Longhorns defensive backfield should be sponsored by "Easy Bake Oven". Both teams like to throw. State is a little better in scoring defense. The Sun Devils are in the details...ASU 34 Texas 31

DEC. 28:
CHAMPS SPORTS:
#14 Boston College over Michigan State giving 3 ½ (57): First bowl in four years for Sparty. Eagles have won six consecutive bowl games (and 9 of last 10, covering 8...with the latest ATS miss coming last year against Navy). BC defense won’t allow much of a ground game by State and the advantage at QB definitely goes to senior Matt Ryan ...BC 27 MSU 20

TEXAS:
Houston over Texas Christian taking 4 (59 ½): The Cougar offense seems no worse for the wear after losing four-year starting QB Kevin Kolb, but the defense took a bit of a step backwards. East Texas faces West Texas here and because the Toads didn’t live up to potential BCS-buster expectations, we figure interest in this will be low outside of the Lone Star State. Nearly a home game for the Coogs. If TCU’s defense dictates the pace, the Froggies win easily. If a shootout ensues, it’s...TCU 38 Houston 36

EMERALD:
Oregon State over Maryland giving 5 (48 ½): Vindy hasn’t been this excited since watching hundreds of inmates in the Philippines dance choreographed moves to "YMCA" and "Thriller" on You Tube! Beavers’ only loss since September was game at USC...OSU 24 Box Turtles 14

DEC. 29
MEINEKE CAR CARE:
Wake Forest over Connecticut giving 3 (48 ½): Huskies didn’t fare well against teams with a solid ground game, nor did they play well away from Storr. Deacs are susceptible to the pass. Wake lost only one game in which it was out-rushed by its opponent (at Clemson). Oddly, both teams lost 17-16 to Virginia...The Forest 24 UConn 17

AUTOZONE LIBERTY:
Mississippi State over Central Florida taking 3 (57 ½): Among the many items from China that got slapped with a recall was Curious George. We can think of a few "Georges" that are worthy of recall long before Knights Coach O’Leary (Jeff, Steinbrenner and of course...Dubya...for starters!). UCF smacked the defense-poor squads of Conference USA, while Mississippi State finally came around for Sly Croom and relied on its staunch defense to get past some powerful SEC offenses, including Auburn and Kentucky (both on the road). We think the Bulldogs do so again here...MSU 20 UCF 17

ALAMO:
Penn State over Texas A&M giving 5 ½ (51 ½): Collectively, these two have recorded 10 straight bowl game "unders". Whaddaya think they’ll do playin’ each other??? Lions finished only behind Army and Navy for fewest penalties, so they won’t beat themselves. The alma mater also finished 6th nationally in rush D. A&M’s primary MO is the ground game. Nifty Lions celebrate Coach Paterno’s 500th year...er...um ...game...at the helm for State! JoPa’s not pleased that his $500K annual salary is now common knowledge. That would be one grand for each game he’s ever coached. Hey look, ya don’t make Nick Saban-ish dollars until ya whup the bejeezus outta’ Tennessee then lose to Weeziana-Monroe!...PSU 25 Aggies 16

DEC. 30
PETROSUN INDEPENDENCE:
Colorado over Alabama taking 3 ½ (51): Speakin’ of St. Nick...while many of ‘Bama’s losses were close, have to wonder whether switch to Saban was too extreme for some players, given that the Tide only really went all-out against heated-rival Tennessee. Bison weren’t world-beaters either, but showed some improvement as season went on and do own a win over Oklahoma. We foresee GetNickonDaStick.Com real soon (maybe prior to kickoff!)...Buffs 17 Tide 16

DEC. 31
BELL HELICOPTER ARMED FORCES:
California over Air Force giving 3 ½ (54): Bears come limping into bowl season having dropped 6 of 7 outright (and 0-6 vs. the line!), but do have two signature wins over Tennessee and at Oregon (before injury to Dixon). Last year, Cal had a pair of late defeats, but spanked Texas A&M in the Holiday. Troy Calhoun could grab a few votes for Coach of Da’ Year if he helps USAF acquire the victory here with only 10 returning starters at the beginning of 2007 in his first year at the Academy. Berkeley gets "painted"? No...Cal 27 Pilots 20

SUN:
#23 South Florida over Oregon giving 6 ½ (52): Both teams held the #2 ranking at some point this season. While the underdogs have seriously owned this bowl, we think a victory will mean more to the Bulls as they continue to establish themselves as a team to beat and attempt to post their first 10-win season since joining the FBS. Decoys have failed to cover three of last four post-season games and if they didn’t like Vegas last year, they’ll hate the "booming metropolis" of El Paso this year...USF 34 Mallards 17

ROADY’S HUMANITARIAN:
Fresno State over Georgia Tech taking 5 ½ (55): Bulldogs have shorter commute, won 3 of last 4 regular season games and might want this more than the Bees, who’s only spread win in last five came at Duke. Former Tech DC Jon Tenuta assumes the head-coaching duties for the game, but he may be distracted too by uncertainty in his own future. Fresno hasn’t covered any of last three visits to Boise, but at least they won’t be weirded-out by the blue field. Known for survival in extreme cold, koi were seen being shuttled in and out between plays to Georgia Tech’s lines during pre-bowl practices...Fresno State 34 Wreckage 30

GAYLORD HOTELS MUSIC CITY:
Florida State over Kentucky: OFF. Unquestionably, the Injuns went through some growing pains adjusting to a whole new bevy of assistant coaches this year, including losses to both Miami and Florida. Not many coaches know how to win in the post-season better than Bobby Bowden, whose ‘Noles have won and covered three straight. Rich Brooks got his second bowl victory in five tries last year. Third straight appearance in this game for the Wildcats, who had higher aspirations after toppling LSU. Late-breaking news has State without the services of about two dozen players due to academic problems (See...just one more reason for Vindy and the Mustangs to take their respective "educational" programs to the masses!)... FSU 29 Kentucky 27

INSIGHT:
Oklahoma State over Indiana giving 4 (68 ½): Tough pick. Hoosiers make 1st bowl since 1993. Okie State in 5th bowl over last 6 seasons. A very unconfident vote to the Cowpokes offense here...OSU 39 Indy 32

CHICK-FIL-A:
#22 Auburn over #15 Clemson taking 2 (47 ½): Auburn’s security procedures underwent review after a guard dog in the end zone bit a player on the hand. As the result of the review, the Warhawks have asked the Chick-Fil-A Bowl committee to allow their guard dogs to wander the red zone when Clemson gets close and as the designated home team for this game, have requested that Clemson players all wear the number "7" on their jerseys!...Aubie 19 Clemson 16

JAN. 1
OUTBACK:
#18 Wisconsin over #16 Tennessee taking 3 (60): Vols have been a risky bet in the bowls, covering only one of last four and are losing their offensive coordinator David Cutliffe to the head coaching job at (GASP!) Duke! Badgers have gotten points in last five, covered four of ‘em and won three of them outright (including last season’s win over Arkansas). Not certain UT has any motivation here having lost the SEC championship...Wisky 31 Tennessee 27

COTTON:
#7 Missouri over #25 Arkansas giving 3 (59): Okay...the State of Michigan paid the price for holding an earlier-than-authorized caucus and lost their national convention delegates. We’re thinkin’ the folks in the Show-Me State asked for the Big 12 Conference Championship game to be held in November and subsequently got stripped of their poll voters, leading to the Tigers exclusion from the BCS bowls.... Mizzou 34 Sooooeeeyyy Pigs 27

GATOR:
#21 Virginia over Texas Tech taking 6 (60): LOCK OF ‘DA BOWLS. While the Red Raiders eight wins came via lighting up the likes of SMU, Rice and Baylor (we think the Sooners lost focus in season-ending L at Lubbock), the Cavs garnered nine W’s going toe-to-toe with ACC clubs and Big East contender Connecticut (do ya think they’d like another shot at Wyoming??!!). Granted, Tech will be the most prolific passing offense Virginia has faced, but the D should handle the one-dimensional Raiders well-enough...Wahoos 30 Texas Tech 28

CAPITAL ONE:
#9 Florida over Michigan giving 10 ½ (59): Wolverines have lost 4 straight bowl outings, three of ‘em right here. Rematch of ‘02 Outback Bowl, won by Big Blue 38-30. The Heisman Trophy curse seemingly only applies to NFL careers and BCS Title games, so Gators should be safe here. Candidates on the short list just prior to UM’s hiring of Rich Rodriguez: Tila Tequila, A-Rod, Billary, Vindicator, Vladimir Putin, Senator George Mitchell and Osama Bin Laden (not really, but even an Al-Qaida leader couldn’t pass on a shot at the head coaching job in Ann Arbor and when he shows up for the interview, we’re gonna’ nail the bastard!)...Crocs 44 Michigan 28

ROSE PRESENTED BY CITI:
#6 Southern Cal over #13 lllinois giving 14 (50 ½): Hats off to Ron Zook for getting the Illini to a BCS bowl. As much as we’d like to see Troy get dumped on its collective keister, have to think Coach Carroll will have the Trojans fired up to defend the Rose Bowl in light of multiple collapses by a number of PAC-10 teams formerly above them... USC 41 Illinois 17

ALL-STATE SUGAR:
#10 Hawaii over #4 Georgia taking 7 ½ (69 ½): Joja’ coach Mark Richt has been singin’ that "‘somebody done somebody wrong’ song" after his ‘Dawgs were snubbed by the BCS for the title shot and may have his team wanting to prove a point. Not-quite-Cinderella Rainbow Warriors have been shedding the "weak schedule" critique all season and will come out ready to test their mettle vs. an SEC squad. Double-digit bowl dogs have been covering at an almost-60% clip (2-2 last year)...Joja’ 35 Hawaii 29

JAN. 2
TOSTITOS FIESTA:
#3 Oklahoma over #11 West Virginia giving 7 ½ (64): Hmmm...was R-Rod’s defection already in the wind when Mounties blew a National Title shot by losing at home to four-touchdown underdog Pitt? While White and Slaton may try to use this game to showoff for potential NFL draft spots, a senior-laden defense (which had been much-improved this year) may feel betrayed...Sooners 34 WVU 20

JAN. 3
FED-EX ORANGE:
#5 Virginia Tech over #8 Kansas giving 4 (53 ½): Rock, Jock, Jayhawk! A nice season for the Fightin’ Manginos and Kansas surprisingly has better turnover ratio (tied for 1st nationally in that department) than the Hokies. We think this gets decided by some Beamer Ball on special teams and should stay well-under the total. Hokies no strangers to BCS berths. Jayhawks could be star-struck...Tech 23 Kansas 17

JAN. 5
INTERNATIONAL:
Rutgers over Ball State giving 10 (60): Only fourth-ever bowl game for the Cardinals (1st since ‘96). Ball State went 5-2 ATS away from Muncie. When Vindy hears the word "Toronto", he immediately thinks of a Canadian hotbed for January college football! Yeah right. The Oprah-Obama connection couldn’t put enough butts in seats here to give either side a reason to play hard, though like our note on South Florida, this will simply go toward Rutgers continuing rise. Last May, NBC cut away from the overtime period of Game Five of the NHL Playoffs to bring viewers coverage of the Preakness...an hour-and-a-half before the race. We won’t be crushed if The Deuce dials up a replay of that horse race about 30 minutes into this...Knights 30 BSU 7

JAN. 6
GMAC:
Tulsa over Bowling Green giving 4 ½ (75 ½): Could be fairly entertaining if ya like scoring. Golden Dust Devil was a paltry 4-9 ATS, while being favored in 10 of the 13 games. Only Weeziana-Monroe and, ironically, Houston scored less than 23 on Tulsa. Falcons were decent 7-4 against the line and were a bit more stalwart on defense. In Tulsa’s favor was a good win over BYU...Hurricane 38 BGU 31

JAN. 7
BCS CHAMPIONSHIP:
#1 Ohio State over #2 Louisiana State taking 4 (50): With Bengals’ coach already signed through 2012, Buckeyes faithful, in effort to create more distraction on LSU’s side of the field, have launched a rumor campaign that Les Miles will jump to Michigan in 2013! OSU has won and covered 4 of last 5 post-season matches. Could the underdog win the national title game SU for third straight year? Last time Bucks were getting points in a title game, they won it. OSU posted almost 31/2 sacks per game (5th in the U.S.), while Tigers were #84 in sacks allowed (almost 2.5 per game). Buckeyes can take it outright if they can get to Matt Flynn. We think OSU will capitalize on a second chance to play for it all. This season’s Bowel Colonoscopy Series champion is...Ohio State 28 LSU 24

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Just in case the consecutive time-outs don’t suffice, the Weber Kid also does his best bush-league A-Rod impression and runs up behind the sports ticket-writer just as he settles in under Vindy’s picks and yells, "MINE!"

After getting the Dalai Lama himself to write "Victory to the Blue Bombers" on some of its team’s equipment, Winnipeg won its first-round Canadian Football League playoff game 26-24. Vindy has asked the exiled religious leader to scribe "20 bowl wins to Vindicator" on his crystal ball!

Another note on the lead story...in late August, the Las Vegas Review-Journal ran an ad targeting local teachers for ready-made lesson plans for "pigskin geography" (we kid you not, sports fans!). The intent was to help students learn geography based on the cities of the 32 NFL football teams. Vindy thinks the program could be expanded to include all 119 FBS college football teams...or even the 300-plus NCAA hoops teams! If we’re competing with the world, let’s give the little buggers a fightin’ chance, by golly!!!! (And give yourself extra credit if ya knew Jonesboro, Arkansas was home to the Arkansas State Indians and could quickly point to that location on a U.S. map!).

For those who remember the commercial that aired earlier this year...
Driver: "Hey look. A hitch-hiker. Should we stop?"
Girlfriend: "But he’s got Vindy’s Picks.
Driver: "Yeah, but he’s got Bud Light".."
Girlfriend: "But he’s got Vindy’s Picks."
Driver: "Hey Buddy, what’s with the picks?"
Hitchhiker: "They’re...uh...birdcage liners."
Driver: "Hop in!"

Creator of Gatorade and University of Florida professor, Dr. J. Robert Cade, passed away last month at the age of 80. We’re told the good doctor’s final wish was to have his ashes put in a trademark bucket of his brand and dumped over some unsuspecting coach following a special on-field win!

The name "America" turned 500 this year....almost as old as the name "Joe Paterno" (and slightly older than "Greg Oden").

For those still scoring at home, the Weber Kid managed a nifty 8-3 on the official games of the championship week and a "why-did-I-bother" 1-6 record for his "guess at da’ rest"!

Face-painted fans that just need to get lives
Punters who drop the kicks inside the fives
Team-logo key-chains and rear-window clings
These are a few of Vin’s favorite things.

Little Brown Jugs and those banned end-zone dances
Paul Bunyan’s axes and onside-kick chances
Bobblehead dolls that are not from Beijing
These are a few of Vin’s favorite things.

Roughing the kicker and Hail Mary tosses.
Over-turned fumbles and tackles-for-losses.
Underdogs winning their Sugar Bowl rings.
These are a few of Vin’s favorite things.

At the NFL Combine this Spring, Vindy impressed coaches by turning in a 4.4 forty...yep, the multi-talented tout downed a 40-ounce beer in 4.4 seconds!

The Notre Dame offense will take an extra class this coming semester...ESL. Uh...End zone as a Second Language! In fact, the latest ish of ESPN Da’ Mag reports a study by Sports Business Journal found the NFL’s Browns to have the least effective logo (while the Cowboys have the top logo). In Vin’s opinion, the Not-So-Frightenin’ Irish get the NCAA vote for least effective emblem (at least for this season!)!

Becoming a big fan of Apolo Ohno after watching the speed-skater compete on "Dancing With the Stars", Santa shaved his beard down to a soul patch! (BTW, Vindy saw mommy taunting Santa Claus!)

Staying with rumors about the traditional end-of-season coaching carousel, officials in Durham, North Carolina have agreed to rename the school Dukla if former Bruins coach Karl Dorrell signs on to lead the Blue Devils!

A place of worship known as The Church of Men uses a shot-clock to limit the length of sermons. If the priest goes over the allotted time and commits a clock violation, does the Devil get possession?

In another effort to go "green" (thereby pleasing the tree-huggin’, tofu-scarfin’, rabble-rousin’ folks at Berkeley), each of Vindy’s bowl picks this year was made from recycled blog entries! In the words of Triumph the Insult-Comic Dog....we keeeeed, we keeeeed!

The Poinsettia, Holiday and Orange Bowls are (GASP!) Thursday-nighters! Consider yourselves forewarned!

The L.A. Dodgers and Anaheim Ducks will enter their respective first-ever floats in the Rose Parade. If we have the quote from Boone in National Lampoon’s Animal House correct..."A bunch of zombies get to ride a box of tissues down the street. Rah-rah."

U.S. News & World Report mistakenly ranked Montpelier High School the #5 public high school in the country this month. No big deal...a week later Montpelier fell to an unranked high school and dropped outta’ the Top 25 altogether anyway!

"Locked in a Box?": Vindy matches his lock record from this time last season at 9-5 (.642) courtesy of Central Florida’s romp over Tulsa!

Shoppe Talk: The championship week saw the Weber Kid get past tilts with USC and Boston College, but Vin took another one in the shorts from those Warriors of Hawaii!

Vindy’s Week 10 Best Bets: Last Week: 0-2 Season: 20-37-1 (.351)
Penn State-Texas A&M under 51 ½, Cincinnati -11 over Southern Miss, BC -3 ½ over Michigan State, Mississippi State-Central Florida under 57 ½

Vindicator offers his traditional holiday greetings to all his readers...Pass on Earth, Goodwill Toward Linemen. On top of ‘dat, we extend...Crimson Tidings of Southern Comfort and joy! Be sure to stop back a few days after completion of the BCS Championship game to check Vindy’s bowl recap and publication of his leftover "hash"!

Now if you’ll excuse him, he needs to go do something about the tongue he got stuck to a frozen parlay card on a triple-dog dare!

Post-Season Picks Not Quite Done Yet

Unforeseen events have temporarily delayed publication of Vindy's 2007-08 Bowl Predictions, but keep checkin' back! Hope to have them up early this week!

Vindy's 2007 Championship Week Picks

FORECASTER ASKS TO HAVE 2007 RECORD EXPUNGED

MONTE CARLO, Monaco (CNN)....Facing a permanent transcript of the worst preferred-picks record of his career, the Vegas Vindicator this week did what any reasonable forecaster in his (or her) position would do... throw a deposed track-and-field legend under the bus. Citing a regular-season "best bets" tally of 20-35-1, the Sin City Soothsayer went to the International Association Athletics Federation claiming Marion Jones was an active member of his forecasting team, hoping the sports-governing body would annul Vindy’s 2007 record from the history books, just as it recently did to not only Jones, but to the records of athletes who joined her during Olympic relay races.

Those "bounties" from last week musta’ been really good because the bookies stacked eight in Pandora’s box score, daring Vindy to throw and leaving our flustered forecaster on the wrong end of a season-worst 5-12 record for Week 13 (106-124-5, .461). Raising the bar..tab...one last time before da’ bowls, it’s....

THE WEBER KID’S 2007 CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK FORECAST

SAT. DEC. 1
Pittsburgh over #2 WEST VIRGINIA taking 28: Mounties FB Ryan Mundy was recently asked "if your sport had at-bat music, what song would you choose?". Ryan said he favors oldies, but those couldn’t be used for used for that purpose. Challenging that assertion, Vindy suggests the following: Backfield in Motion (1969), Ballroom Blitz (1975) or maybe Born to Run (also 1975; and those are just choices from very early in the alphabet!). Should WVU lose here, the choice might be 96 Tears (1966)! Mountaineers have covered 4 of last 5 vs. Pitt. Panthers are 1-5 ATS in last 6 against ranked teams, but the one spread win was also a straight-up victory over Cincinnati this season. Despite recent success, West Virginia is still actually 22 games under .500 in this Backyard Brawl. Team Morgantown just needs a win to play for the big one...’Eers 34 Pitt 17

#13 ARIZONA STATE over Arizona giving 7: Wildcats have put together a three-game win streak (SU and ATS). Devils are struggling through 1-2 SU/0-3 ATS slide. State has gone 4-1-1 vs. the number in Tempe this year. We’ll take Rudy Carpenter over Willie Tuitama... barely....Pitchforks 26 ‘Cats 17

Ucla over #8 USC taking 20: Bruins are 29-18 against the number over the past four seasons, including 6-4 this year even with rash of injuries they’ve suffered. USC has covered 4 of last 5, but are only 4-4 against the PAC-10 this season. Have to look for a single-digit Trojans win or outright loss...Troy 24 UCLA 17

#11 HAWAII over Washington giving 14: UH obviously has a lot to play for. ‘Dogs have only a long Seattle winter ahead. Hawaii’s players reportedly do a haka dance on a regular basis, as does the Jefferson High School team in Portland. Oregon’s high school association considers it taunting. The high schoolers dance anyway and just eat the accompanying 15-yard penalty. Las Vegas bookies do likewise when Vindy turns in his wagers each week and simply absorb a 15-point adjustment to one of Weber’s "best bets"!...’Bows 38 UDUB 21

Oregon State over #18 OREGON taking 4 1/2: It’s painfully obvious the Mallards miss their Heisman-calibre quarterback....Beavers 16 Decoys 15

#21 Brigham Young over SAN DIEGO STATE giving 15: This one got rescheduled from original late October date as result of California’s wildfires. Aztecs can’t be feelin’ too good about themselves after tanking early 17-0 lead over the Horny Toads to not only lose, but also to blow a cover. Vin liked the Coogs as preseason BCS-buster and figures State won’t hold off the Mormons, who shoulda’ lost to Utah...BYU 30 SDSU 13

MAC Championship @ Detroit, Michigan
Miami-Ohio over Central Michigan taking 4: Chippies are 6-1 SU vs. other MAC teams in 2007, but home losses to Eastern Michigan and FCS division North Dakota State are troublesome. On the other side of the field, Redhawks are on 0-3 ATS spiral. Three-point win over Akron and 7-0 squeaker over Buffalo at home before road loss to Ohio inspire no confidence either. No choice but to take the points and hope for a FG decision either way...CMU 27 Miami-Ohio 24

ACC Championship @ Jacksonville, Florida
#Virginia Tech over #12 Boston College giving 5: WR/KR Eddie Royal will need to avoid the mistakes he made early last week, but we can’t pass on Hokies squad that’s getting Weber-Friendly honors (see SEASON RECAP below) and showing six covers in last seven games of what should be a 7-0 SU streak. Tech is 1-6 ATS over last 7 playing the Eagles, but should be motivated to pull out the trickery and put this away early after blowing this match late a few weeks ago...VT 28 BC 17

SEC Championship @ Atlanta, Georgia
#14 Tennessee over #5 Louisiana State taking 7 ½: Following Tigers’ other triple-OT defeat, LSU won but did not cover vs. Auburn in Baton Rouge. In fact, Bengals’ only spread win in last nine tilts was blowout over Weeziana Tech. If Vols can keep it close for four quarters, they can win it outright, but what does Rocky Top have left on the heels of 4OT game last week? UT won SU in ‘05 and pushed as a dog in ‘06. We think they bring enough to ATL... Tennessee 29 Down on the Bayou 28

Big 12 Championship @ San Antonio, Texas
#9 Oklahoma over #1 Missouri giving 3: Short-handed Spooners had little problem dispatching high-powered in-state rival Okie State and get the edge on defense here. Tigers would like to make amends for regular-season 10-point loss in Norman. Mizzou has already posted winning covers twice on neutral turf this year (vs. Illinois and Kansas). Ohio State to the BCS title game?...Okie-Dokie 40 Didn’t Quite Show-Me State 35

C-USA Championship @ Orlando, Florida
Central Florida over Tulsa giving 6 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Golden Hurricane was embarrassed last month by the Knights in Orlando. We don’t see much different here. UCF beat NC State, nearly knocked off Texas and subsequently bulldozed its way through the conference...Central Florida 45 Tulsa 24

A Guess at Da’ Rest:
Rutgers +2 ½ over LOUISVILLE: Who woulda’ thought both teams would be unranked at this point?...Knights 24 Cards 20

Fresno State -13 ½ over NEW MEXICO STATE: Bulldogs not the feared world-beaters of yore, but plenty potent enough to get by NMSU...Bulldogs 27 Aggies 10

Army +14 over Navy: Vindy takes a rare leap against the Boat People here. Cadets win-loss record doesn’t really reflect it, but the Knights have been more competitive this season than in recent years. Middies are down a notch and the USN defense seems to be yielding more points than previous seasons, even as the air game has opened up a tad for the offense. Look for a high-scoring game...Sailors 34 Soldiers 30

Louisiana Tech +8 over NEVADA-RENO: Winner has decent shot at a bowl berth. While we sincerely thank the boys from north of Vindy’s locale for being one of his personal-record 19 bowl-forecast wins last year, we give the nod to the visitors. La Tech 38 Wolfpack 30

California -13 ½ over STANFORD: Surely, even the injury-riddled, tree-huggin’ Bears of Berkeley should grab a cover en route to the win sending ‘em to the post-season over Cardinal team that apparently is resting on its laurels since the upset over USC. Any club that loses outright to this year’s Eggos...er..um..."echoes"...of Notre Dame is not worthy of a vote here. On the 25th anniversary of "Da’ Play", we like...Bears 27 Team Harbaugh 3

Florida Atlantic +15 ½ over TROY: Owls could grab a tie for the Sun Belt conference with an upset and a surprise appearance in the New Orleans Bowl...Trojans 24 FAU 21

North Texas -2 ½ over FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL: No fan of the Mean Green by any stretch, but FIU is just a bad, bad ballclub. The Panthers were competitive maybe twice all season and first-year coach Mario Cristobal will have all winter to figure out what to do with the leftovers he inherited...UNT 17 FIU 6

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Vindicator blames his poor record this season on a previously-undisclosed torn ACL (antique crystal-ball ligament)! It was all Vin could do to keep that piece of information outta’ Dennis Franchione’s weekly secret newsletter!

Army and Navy are the least-penalized teams in the country (at 4.2 and 4.3 per game, respectively). Vindicator sets a prop bet on the over/under for total flags this weekend at 8 ½!

After every season, one special player receives the Vincent dePaul Draddy Award for the best combo of schoolwork, on-field play and service to the community. The obvious question, then, to the award voters is..."Who’s Your Draddy??!!"

Defensive tackle Vonnie Holliday of the now 0-11 Miami Dolphins recently quipped, "Who’s the guy from Charlie Brown who has the gray cloud following him around? Pig Pen? We’re like Pig Pen." Can’t wait to see an updated version of A Charlie Brown Christmas in which Pig Pen says, "We’re like those guys from the NFL with the gray cloud following them around? The Miami Dolphins? We’re like the Miami Dolphins."

Said New England Patriots offensive lineman of Philly’s NFL team, "There’s a reason they call them the Screaming Eagles.". Screamin’ Eagles? Hmmm...when Donovan and da’ boys pack their own chutes and jump outta’ perfectly good airplanes into hot landing zones a la the 101st Airborne, we’ll talk!

The Miami Heat’s senior dance team, the Golden Oldies, are celebrating their 4th season with the NBA club. Did anybody tell Greg Oden he’s finally got cheerleaders of his own generation to date??!!

SEASON RECAP:
Best Weekly Effort: Right outta’ the gate...Week One’s 11-6 (In like a lineman....).

Worst Weekly "Effort": Vin saved the worst for last, going 5-12 in Week 13 (...out like a lamp!).

WEBER-FRIENDLIES (Best percentage on the predicted side of the spread; minimum 7 at-bats in the forecast): This season’s "You’re in Good Hands Award" goes to...drum roll, please...the Scarlet Nuts of Rutgers at 6-1 (.857). Second place to the Arkansas Razorbacks (5-1-1, .833) and Honorable Mention to those Hokies of Virginia Tech (9-2, .818).

FLAME-THROWERS (Worst percentage on the predicted side of ‘da spread): The bookies loved the smell of napalm in the morning...afternoon...and night...courtesy of this year’s "Grill-Master Supreme Award" winner Southern Cal (2-9, .182). "Suckin’ Place" goes to surprise guest Boston College (2-7, .222) and "Dishonorable Mention" to the ‘Blows of Hawaii (2-6, .250).

Below the official radar, but we’ll be watchin’: The FSU Steamin’ Holes (0-6, 000) and the Spooners of Oklahoma (3-8-1, .272).

"Locked in a Box?": Nothin’ like havin’ your +11 "lock" team lose by forty-!@%$#@!!-five!!! The Oklahoma State Cowpoked registers Vin’s first back-to-back lock losses and drop the record to 8-5 (.615)

Shoppe Talk: Trojans thwart Vindy’s Thursday night try again! The Gators return after brief (very brief) hiatus!

Vindy’s Championship Week Best Bets: Last Week: 0-fer-fugheddaboutit Season: 20-35-1 (.363)
Louisiana Tech +8 ½ over NEVADA-RENO, North Texas -2 ½ over FLORIDA INT’L

Vindy now takes a much-needed TV time-out to heal the aforementioned injury and clear the cobwebs. But fear not, loyal readers, your hero will return circa December 15 with his infamous bowl predictions! Don’t touch that dial!

Vindy's Picks Week 13-2007

FEMA DROPS (FOOT)BALL AGAIN

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (ITAR-Tass)....The saga continues for the embattled Federal Emergency Management Agency. In the wake of long-standing rumors that fraudulently-spent disaster-relief dollars have paid for everything from imported Barbie dolls from China to 50-yard-line Super Bowl tickets, FEMA is once again under fire for backing out of a promise to pay salaries of new players acquired by the New Orleans Saints. A spokesperson for the organization, however, has noted that players gained through the April NFL Draft do not meet FEMA regs requiring the players be picked up via free agency. Under the Stafford Act, FEMA can only pay for restoration of football teams to pre-disaster conditions, not improvements over-and-above those conditions. Apparently, the youthful talent signed from the college ranks by the Saints does not meet this stipulation.

Despite your host’s 8-8 record last week (101-112-5, .474 season), local bookies have adamantly denied being offered "bounties" by casino management to hold Vindicator’s forecast win total below .500! Tell those loved ones, human or animal (hey, pets are people too!), in your lives how thankful you are for them, enjoy your tofurky or turducken or whatever seasonal mystery meat floats your boat and wash it all down with your favorite beverage, but be sure to save some room for a nice big slice of...

THE WEBER KID’S 2007 WEEK 13 FORECAST

THURS. NOV. 22
#7 ARIZONA STATE over #11 Southern Cal taking 3 ½: Six straight Thursday night covers have gone to the teams getting points. So be it. Vin will dispense with the customary statistical and situational analyses and simply defer to the prognostication deities that be...Sun Devils 30 USC 27

FRI. NOV. 23
#1 LSU over Arkansas giving 12: A new bomb-shaped Japanese piggy-bank "explodes" (spewing the contents all over da’ place!) when coins aren’t inserted daily. In a psychological ploy, coaches have rigged the ‘Hogs mascot costume do likewise when Arkansas fails to stick the ball in the end zone on any given drive!...LSU 41 Arkansas 17

TEXAS A&M over #13 Texas taking 5 ½: Aggies have covered three of last four vs. the Steers in College Station, but only one of those (2002 outright victory) would cover a number this short. A&M did lose by only 8 vs. Kansas and trounced UL-Monroe, who whacked ‘Bama away last week, by 40 in September...’Horns 27 A&M 24

#17 Boise State over #14 HAWAII taking 3 ½: The ‘Bows have let themselves get caught up in shootouts this year vs. teams that have any kind of decent offense whatsoever. Broncos haven’t fallen to Hawaii outright since 1999, a span of six games. The streak continues and the BCS breathes a sigh of relief...Boise 38 HI 37

SAT. NOV. 24
#2 KANSAS over #3 Missouri giving 2: Regarding this game, Tigers defensive lineman Lorenzo Williams was quoted as saying "A storm is coming. I don’t know who’s bringing it, but a storm is coming." Vindicator consulted the folks at the Weather Channel and his own staff meteorologist. They said expect several days of rain and cold temps, followed by...Jayhawks 24 Mizzou 19

#20 Connecticut over #4 WEST VIRGINIA taking 17: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. De Facto Big East title game. Sled Dogs were erased by the Bearkats defense. Mounties’ D just ain’t of the same quality. Vindy’s preseason BCS title game match-up prediction of WVU-LSU is still alive...’Eers 24 UConn 17

#5 Ohio State: IDLE (next: Rose Bowl)

#6 Georgia over GEORGIA TECH giving 3 1/2: Dawgs need a Vols loss to play for the conference title. Meanwhile, the Bees are happy to have taken warm showers and worn clean uniforms that didn’t have to be beaten on a riverside rock. Mark Richt has consistently had an answer for the Wreck, even prior to the Reggie Ball years... Joja’ 16 Yellow Jackets 5

#8 Virginia Tech over #16 VIRGINIA giving 3 1/2: Hokies were efficient in demolition of Miami, scoring a point for approximately every 8 yards of offense. Vin picked the Cavaliers to win the ACC last August, but is really struggling to hang on that conviction here. Cavs have been living seriously on the edge, winning by 2 at North Carolina, 2 at Middle Tennessee and 1each over UConn, Maryland and Wake Forest. We would gladly take the forecast loss here to see Virginia play for ACC crown, but...Beamer Ball 17 Cavs 12

#9 Oregon over UCLA giving 2: Mallards are down to their second-string QB. Bruins are mired in three-game SU losing streak and still looking for elusive 6th win that’ll send ‘em to the post-season...Decoys 28 UCLA 24

Oklahoma State over #10 OKLAHOMA taking 12: Sooners lost stud running back DeMarco Murray for the duration. That might be enough of a dent in Oklahoma’s game-plan to give the potent Cowpokes offense a couple of extra possessions...OK 28 State 26

Florida State over #12 FLORIDA taking 14: Gators have hammered opponents in the Swamp by an average margin of 36 points this year and have beaten the Injuns three years running. After wobbly start that saw the ‘Noles even lose to struggling Miami team, State’s won 3 of last 4 coming in...Crocs 28 FSU 24

#15 BOSTON COLLEGE over Miami giving 14 ½: More of a vote against Miami than for Boston College. BC at least showed promise of a good season early in the campaign. Eagles haven’t beaten the ‘Canes in over 20 years. Eagles get a little long-overdue revenge against Coral Gables squad that has seemingly thrown in the towel... BC 34 Miami 14

#18 Illinois: IDLE (next: Da’ Bowls!)

#19 Tennessee over KENTUCKY taking 3: Tennessee’s only road win was at Mississippi State and Vols probably should’ve fallen to Vandy. BC lost outright at home to the Seminoles following a missed Virginia Tech FG that saved the Eagles late 4th Quarter rally. Could a similar scenario occur here? ‘Cats didn’t take full advantage of four Joja’ turnovers to beat the Dawgs in Athens...Rocky Top 31 KY 28

#21 Clemson over SOUTH CAROLINA giving 3: Gamehens win this one about once every five seasons. SC won straight-up in 2006. Rivalry alone should help Tigers put blown ACC title opportunity on the back-burner for a couple of hours...Clemson 19 Carolina 13

#22 Wisconsin: IDLE (next: Da’ Bowls!)

Utah over #23 BYU taking 4 1/2: Comparing a common foe, Coogs beat UNLV by 10, Utes lost a 27-0 shutout to those same Rebels. According to the January 29 ish of ESPN: Da’ Mag, a Utah teen found a porn video inside his Madden ‘07 video game case. That following April, scientists in Atlanta revealed orangutans were addicted to video games. Coincidence? (And why the teen journeyed all the way to Georgia to dispose of the skin flick in the primate cage of Zoo Atlanta is still under investigation!)...Utah 24 BYU 22

#24 Cincinnati over SYRACUSE giving 20: Warning...this game may include some content that is disturbing to some viewers. Bookies’ discretion is advised...Cincy 44 Orange Crushed 3
Alabama over #25 AUBURN taking 6: A victory over the Tigers would help ‘Bama faithful forget about the home loss to the Sun Belt’s Warhawks of Weeziana-Monroe as faves of better than three touchdowns. Tide turned it over four times and handed ULM 10 first-downs via penalty. ‘Bama gets back five previously-suspended players, including a pair starters from the offensive line...Tide 13 Auburn 12

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
OJ’s lawyers this week argued that Juice was really asking his co-defendants to bring cans of Sterno in the event the hotel room was cold when he asked them to "bring some heat just in case things get out of hand".

Ole Miss put 20 football players on probation this week for twice boosting radios and pillows (Pillows? Goose-down or what???!!) from local hotels, nearly putting Oxford, MS on the list of most dangerous U.S. cities. DC spin doctors, however, put the kibosh on that because the presidential debates will be held at University of Mississippi in September ‘08!

A new series of First Lady coins were recently released by the U.S. Mint. Vin always has been a proponent of recognizing wives of coaches who take their teams to BCS bowls!

Federal judges are considering redesign of U.S. paper currency to allow the blind to distinguish between the various denominations. Referees’ rights advocacy groups nationwide are applauding the decision!

Ozzy Osbourne sang at the Madden NFL ‘08 release party this summer. The crowd reportedly went nuts when the former Black Sabbath front man opened his first set with, "I...am...Gridiiiiiiironnnn...Mannnnnnn."

Back in February , marijuana and psychedelic ‘shrooms confiscated by cops from a vehicle occupied by two Gonzaga hoops players needed to be analyzed by the crime lab before charges could be considered. So did the lab staff do a little tokin’ and jokin’ to decide if the contraband was Gonzaga Ganja, Seattle Sinsimilla or Panama Red?!

Local Las Vegas writer Cory Levitan played goalie for ECHL hockey team the Las Vegas Wranglers last April and noted "a stereo speaker probably be a more successful goalie." We’re thinking maybe a Keno machine! Vin’s spies say Cory warmed up between the pipes by having players slap poker chips at him, a la Goldberg in The Mighty Ducks!

"Wish I Had That One Back": We "grudgingly" went against Kansas, even after noting Iowa State was "lousy at covering finales".

"Locked in a Box?": The Sooners snafu takes the lock record down a notch to 8-4 (.667).

Shoppe Talk: The previously-noted "Spooners" along with the Illini and the Golden Eagles of BC have combined to go 1-18-1 for the forecast over the past seven weeks!

Vindy’s Week 13 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 20-31-1 (.392)
MEMPHIS -7 ½ over Southern Methodist, Miami-Ohio +2 ½ over OHIO, Wyoming +3 over COLORADO STATE, Kansas State PK over FRESNO STATE

For those making their way to Vindicator’s locale for the Thanksgiving holidays...We’re coming in for our final descent into Las Vegas. Please return your seats and parlay cards to their full, upright and locked position...

Vindy's Picks Week 12-2007

PROGNOSTICATOR’S PLANTS DRAW DEM FIRE

DES MOINES, Iowa (UPI)....The Vegas Vindicator took a little heat from John Edwards this week over fielding preset questions about his picks from "plants" among the audience while attending preliminary gatherings in preparation for January’s Democratic caucus. The embarrassed oracle came clean and fessed up to having camp aides provide questions ahead of time to shills in the seats rather than taking queries off-the-cuff. Edwards noted "bettors expect you stand in front of them and answer their tough questions about how you plan to fix your dismal ‘best bets’, not ramble on about your stellar ‘lock’ picks." Near-chaos erupted when Spanish king Juan Carlos chimed in and continued to lambast Vindicator regarding his poor overall season record and was told to "shut up" by the famous forecaster. Vindy also shot back at Edwards, yelling, "Answer this!" In a show of support for the Weber Kid, Wyoming coach Joe Glenn offered the Spanish monarch the same universally-recognized hand gesture he flashed at Utah coach Kyle Whittingham this past weekend after the Utes tried to pile on by attempting an onside kick, already ahead by 43 points!

Vindy borrowed Coach’s hand signal one more time as the weekend’s final scores came in and mired him in a 9-13 tally for Week 11 (93-104-5, .472), pushing his season record over the Benjamin line in losses. Trying to stay afloat through the homestretch, we offer...

THE WEBER KID’S 2007 WEEK 12 FORECAST

THURS. NOV. 15
#2 Oregon over ARIZONA giving 12 ½: All good things must come to an end as Vindy’s 3-0 forecast win run on Thursday nights came crashing down last week. Both terams got an extra fortnight to prepare for this. Ducks should benefit more with QB Dixon healing from recent injuries. Ducks were minus-six in turnover ratio against the ‘Cats last season. AZ has covered 3 of last 4, but those all came against teams whose seasons were flagging (USC, UDUB and UCLA)...Mallards 34 Arizona 17

FRI. NOV. 16
#13 Hawaii @ UNR: OFF (Warriors QB Brennan will probably be back from last week’s concussion. ‘Bows undefeated, but only 3-4 against the line and now travel to cold-climate Reno, where the Wolfpack is 17-8 ATS over last 25)

SAT. NOV. 17
MISSISSIPPI over #1 Louisiana State taking 18 1/2: Rebels off a bye and have a history of covering more times than not each year against ranked opponents (including 2-1 ATS this year and a 3-point OT loss last year in Baton Rouge). Bengals posted their first cover in last seven tries last week at home over non-conference Weeziana Tech... LSU 31 Ole Miss 19

#3 Oklahoma over TEXAS TECH giving 9: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Final tilt of the regular season for the Raiders, who stumble badly playing ranked teams (4-10 ATS since 2003, including 0-2 this year in only two dog roles of ‘07). Omitting 45-point spanking by Oklahoma in 2002, largest margin of victory for either team in this series has been 17. Tech is mere 2-4-1 ATS in last seven overall this season and won’t be able to whip the ball around the field like it did in bad loss at Austin...Sooners 41 TTU 20

Iowa State over #4 KANSAS taking 26: Grudgingly going against Kansas squad that’s perfect to-date against the number. State’s lousy at covering finales. After three-touchdown loss at Kansas State in 2006, Cyclones were on the wrong end of 31-point home loss to Kansas. Dust Devils avenged the K-State defeat earlier and are on 4-0 ATS run...Manginos 35 ISU 20

#21 CINCINNATI over #5 West Virginia taking 6 ½: Mounties put it on the ground three times in final 30 minutes last week to let Louisville recover from deep hole. Bearkats defense can fluster WVU’s offense. Each team is 7-2 ATS this year. Team Morgantown has covered 4 of 5 away and have dominated the series SU (13-1-1). Cincinnati was first team Vindy put a wager on this week...Cincy 20 West Virginia 17

#6 Missouri over KANSAS STATE giving 7: Line opened at 10 and the money says Wildcats cover. Hmmm... Mizzou took advantage of turnovers to blow-out State last season. KSU will be an angry, angry team following 73-31 humiliation by Nebraska (BTW, there were exactly ZERO turnovers in that game) and fared well in Manhattan over the last two-plus seasons (14-5 SU, 13-4 ATS with spread defeats to Kansas, Nebraska, Louisville and... gasp ... Florida Atlantic!). Mizzou’s smallest margin of victory since 6-point win over Illinois was 13...Tigers 31 KSU 20

#23 MICHIGAN over #7 Ohio State taking 3 1/2: First big rivalry game for Buckeyes frosh quarterback and State hasn’t had nearly as much time to deal with deflating loss as Michigan had to deal with its early-season demise. Buckeyes have won 6 of 7 straight up. A Michigan win probably sends State to a non-BCS bowl game in Florida, though BCS officials would obviously rather have a 11-1 OSU squad in the Rose than an 8-4 Wolverine team as Big Ten champ. In all honesty, we’d be happy with a FG in either direction here, but let’s call it... Big Blue 17 Buckeyes 16

#8 GEORGIA over #22 Kentucky giving 7 ½: The bookies have caught up to the Bluegrass Kitties, who faltered to 2-3 ATS over last 5 following 4-0 spread run to open the year. Woe to those who bet against Joja’ in November games. Georgia’s defense is too good to allow the type of comeback ‘Cats managed in losing effort against Florida ...’Dawgs 29 KY 14

#9 Arizona State: IDLE (next vs. USC 11/22)

#10 VIRGINIA TECH over Miami giving 17: Tech is 45-9 straight up in Blacksburg. Hurricanes managed only only 189 total yards against Virginia (five turnovers probably had something to do with that)...VT 27 Miami 7

#11 USC: IDLE (next @ Arizona State 11/22)

#12 Texas: IDLE (next @ Texas A&M 11/25)

#14 FLORIDA over Florida Atlantic giving 34: Third Sun Belt foe of the year for the Urban Meyer’s boys (though Western Kentucky is still just provisional). Crocs are 8-3 ATS in last 11 non-conference games. Not quite a Sunshine State rivalry and next week’s game at Florida International will be of more interest to the Owls. FAU lost to Big Six conference teams by 48, 45, 40 and 39, but have improved to 36, 28 and 12 this year...Florida 55 FAU 20

#15 CLEMSON over #18 Boston College giving 7: Winner gets to play next week’s Virginia-Virginia Tech winner for the ACC championship. These clubs have played three OT periods in last two games between them, both won and covered by the Eagles. Tigers on 4-0 ATS and have scored 191 points over that period. BC just 1-3 ATS in last four games (with a game that shoulda’ been lost to Virginia Tech)...Clemson 27 BC 17

#16 Virginia: IDLE (next vs. Virginia Tech)

#17 BOISE STATE over Idaho giving 34 ½: While the Vandals have covered the number 3 of last 5 against the Broncos, they’re 2-4 ATS in last six-pack vs. ranked teams and have one winning spread record in last seven seasons (ain’t happenin’ this year either since they’re already at 3-6. State’s hammered the wAC’s lower tier this season, including combined 10-0 wins over New Mexico State and Utah State. Idaho beat the line twice to open the year, but is 1-6 since...BSU 44 Idaho 6

#19 TENNESSEE over Vanderbilt giving 12: Vols could possibly be distracted by upcoming trip to Lexington, but we figure outright loss to the ‘Dores in ‘05 and mere 4-point victory in ‘06 should help keep UT focused. Tennessee players took out a full-page newspaper add supporting their coach. Funny...the bookies did likewise for Vindy (because let’s face it...Vin’s "best bets" have kept bettors a couple city blocks from the cashier’s cage!). All three of Tennessee’s spread losses came on the road, leaving UT 6-0-1 ATS in Knoxville. Vandy’s a live road dog, but..Rocky Top 28 Admirals 14

Northwestern over #20 ILLINOIS taking 13: This one got "lock" consideration. Illini off huge (and controversial) upset of then-#1 Ohio State and could be flat. The BCS is in a serious quandary, experiencing panic Vindy ain’t seen since the Peter Pan peanut butter recall for salmonella last Spring. NW has won four straight over UI. With Tony Hawk’s Sweet Shoes ... um..we mean...Sweet Sioux Tomahawk..at stake, Illini should be on upset alert...Illinois 27 Wildcats 26

#24 Wisconsin over MINNESOTA giving 14: Gerbils were 3-13 ATS playing Top 25 teams coming into this year and have simply been a sister-kisser, posting two pushes against OSU and Michigan thus far. Badgers showing signs of late of the kind of play we expected back in the preseason. Gophers playing out the string. Paul Bunyan’s Axe stays with...Wisky 38 Minny 7

#25 UCONN over Syracuse giving 18: Looked at this for lock too. Dogs have covered 9 of last 10 in Storrs and won’t be gracious hosts here either coming off major stinker in Cincinnati. UConn should reach the 40's and while only Maine failed to reach double-digits vs. the Huskies, only Cincinnati broke into the 20's...Sled Dogs 42 Excuse 13

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
It was revealed in April that three top NFL prospects, including WR Calvin Johnson, reportedly used a little wacky weed. Hey, they were just trying to emulate their hero Ricky Williams! But they’ll still need more playing time to match Williams’ career record for YAC (Yards After Cannabis). We suspect he "got by with a little hemp from his friends"!

University of Tennessee women’s hoops coach Pat Summitt has thrown in the towel on her marriage of 27 seasons ...um...years. We heard her hubby kept insisting she wear that cute little cheerleading number she donned last spring in support of the Vols mens basketball squad!

In related news, Shaq has also filed for divorce, claiming his missus stopped letting him "take it to the rack!"

Following up its recommendations for safe disposal of old medications last week, the FDA also suggested wrapping Vindy’s Picks in Notre Dame offensive game-plans to render them completely unattractive.

The City of Miami is looking for someone to demolish the Orange Bowl, now vacated by the Hurricanes. We’re thinking there’s a sweet 2-for-1 deal in the offing if they could dupe the Dolphins into holding practice there just about the same time the stadium gets blown up!

According to the latest issue of ESPN: Da’ Mag, Cards QB Jake Plummer has entered the U.S. Open of Handball. Guess that would explain the Snake constantly swatting the snap off his center’s behind this week during practice!

That same ish also noted the Colts recently raffled off five Super Bowl rings for charity. And when the five players from other teams realize their bling is gone, they’re gonna’ be really annoyed!

DNA analysis this week ruled out George Gipp as the father of a woman long-rumored to be his daughter. Researchers, however, have not yet excluded the late Ronald Reagan and your humble host as possible sires! (BTW, Vindy was the father of Anna Nicole’s baby!).

"Wish I Had That One Back": We would definitely like a do-over on the Oklahoma-Baylor call (though the Bears did score very late to get the backdoor!) and the Ohio State-Illinois prediction. Geez!

"Locked in a Box?": The Kansas Jayhawks raise the lock tally to a nifty 8-3 (.727).

Shoppe Talk: Gators slither away (for now) with a forecast win, but the Trojans hang around at 2-8.

Vindy’s Week 12 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 17-29-1 (.369)
TEMPLE +2 over Kent State, LOUISIANA TECH -6 over San Jose State, Central Florida -13 over SMU, Penn State -3 over MICHIGAN STATE, AIR FORCE -11 over San Diego State

Vindy's Picks Week 11-2007

ESPN, LATE NIGHT TURN TO FORECASTER

NEW YORK, New York (BBC)....With Writers Guild members leaving their respective buildings to strike this week, nightly talk shows such as Leno and Conan, as well as the "world-wide leader" ESPN, have made pitches to the Vegas Vindicator to provide material for monologues and highlight collages. NBC co-chairman Ben Silverman said "Vindy’ll never earn a living pickin’ games, but his rather-twisted perspective on things could be a life-saver for several of our shows right now". The Sin Soothsayer however noted his own writers support the Guild and walked out too, but that he had enough items in reserve to get him through bowl season, then recanted that statement, saying "Oh wait...I forgot...I do my own stuff!" Daytime talkies such as The View are expected to eventually take a hit as well and may also be willing to use the forecaster’s talents. Vindy said he "always wanted to swap picks with Whoopi and Baba Wa Wa."

The chalk finally got more covers than the dogs again for the first time since September 22nd, helping Vindicator go 12-7-1 for last week (84-91-5, .480). Hopin’ to stave off the dreaded century mark in losses for at least one more fortnight, Vindicator battens down the hatches, turns on the nightlight and hides under...

THE WEBER KID’S 2007 WEEK 11 FORECAST
(Now biodegradable in honor of national "Green Week")

THURS. NOV. 8
#6 WEST VIRGINIA over Louisville giving 16: Mounties’ pass defense has improved nicely since early season and has them ranked #4 nationally. Cards have won three of last five this season on the strength of its own defense. ‘Eers have missed only one home cover in last dozen. In 2006, Redbirds knocked then-#3 West Virginia. We attempt to reel in a 4th straight Thursday night forecast win...WVU 34 Louisville 16

SAT. NOV. 10
#1 OHIO STATE over Illinois giving 15: One more straight-up UI triumph would equal the total number of wins acquired by the Illini over the previous four years. Illinois has been money for bettors when playing at The ‘Shoe. Only concern for State here is impact of physical game against the Badgers and the fact State didn’t pull away for the cover until late last week...Buckeyes 33 Illini 16

#2 LSU over Louisiana Tech giving 36: Bengals nearly did themselves in again against ‘Bama, drawing 14 yellow hankies for 130 penalty yards. Tigers were also -1 in turnovers. We don’t foresee such lack of focus here. Bengals on 0-6 ATS run while Ragin’ Cajuns are 6-2 against the number. State typically covers lines of 24 or better vs. non-conference squads. Tech’s season is over, even if they manage to win final two after this to achieve 6 wins...LSU 45 LT 6

#3 Oregon: IDLE (next @ Arizona 11/15)

#4 OKLAHOMA over Baylor giving 38: Bears playing their 11th consecutive game without a break and getting outscored by fellow Big 12 teams 143-23 on the road. Ouch! Sooners haven’t defeated Baylor by this many since ‘02, with largest margin in Norman being 31 since then. Kansas and K-State did beat Baylor on their respective homefields by 48 each. No harm in a few style points... Sooners 48 Baylor 8

#5 Kansas over OKLAHOMA STATE giving 5 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. This could be a replay of last week’s demolition of Nebraska by the Jayhawks. Okie State has had little problem the past several years with Kansas, but Fightin’ Manginos bring a defense that should keep State in check easily enough to cover this...Kansas 48 OKSU 30

#7 MISSOURI over Texas A&M giving 19: Aggie backers better hope for an outright upset because A&M has covered only one of its last 34 SU road losses (we thank nationally-known tout Marc Lawrence for that nifty little tidbit!) and have lost by 17, 28 and 28 away from College Station this season. Aggies were held scoreless until the 4th Quarter for second straight week by the Sooners and have posted 14 or fewer points in 3 of last 4 games. Line probably reaches 21 by game time...Tigers 38 A&M 13

#8 Boston College over MARYLAND giving 5 1/2: BC just two points from 3-0 ATS road record in 2007. Terps have fallen into the doldrums. Maryland only 2-5-1 vs. the pointspread and mere 1-3 in College Park. Eagles still up for BCS consideration and the Box Turtles’ 26th-ranked pass D will have its hands full keeping Matt Ryan under wraps for all four quarters...BC 27 Maryland 17

#9 Arizona State over UCLA giving 6 ½: Injuries have really clobbered what could’ve a special season for UCLA. We don’t think banged-up Bruins can hold the line at home against potent Devils offense...ASU 27 UCLA 9

#18 Auburn over #10 GEORGIA taking 1: Tigers have taken out Top Ten clubs in 9 of last 10 opportunities and won 10 of last 12 tilts in which the spread was plus or minus 7 or less...Auburn 13 Joja’ 10

#11 VIRGINIA TECH over Florida State giving 6: Last pairing of these clubs cost the Hokies a conference crown back in 2005. Seminoles notched their best win of the season last week, dropping BC, who was careless with the ball...Tech 21 FSU 10

#24 CAL over #12 Southern Cal taking 4: Bears on 0-4 SU/0-3 ATS slide since beating the Ducks. Being persona non grata at all the Vegas hotels and needing somewhere to hang his knife...uh....gun...um we mean... helmet...O.J. Simpson has gotten the offer for three hots and a cot on campus at his alma mater this week. The school has, however, removed all of Juice’s memorabilia from the university property and temporarily cancelled all nearby weddings...you know...just in case!....Berkeley 16 USC 14

#13 Michigan over WISCONSIN giving 2 1/2: Badgers, minus top runner PJ Hill, took a brief Third Quarter lead on the Buckeyes, then gave up 21 unanswered points. Wisky has yielded no less than 31 points in five of last eight games. Michigan has been a go-against in Madison, but not this time...Wolverines 35 Badgers 19

#14 HAWAII over Fresno State giving 17: Bulldogs are 5-6 ATS playing ranked teams since ‘03 season, including this year’s triple OT loss at Texas A&M and overall 3-1 on the road. While most of Fresno’s defense consists of upperclassmen, only four defensive starters returned this year and both safeties are sophomores...’Bows 51 Fresno 30

Texas Tech over #15 TEXAS taking 6 1/2: The Cowpokes hung 430 passing yards (and almost 600 total offensive yards) on the ‘Horns last week. Red Raiders QB Harrell could do that all by himself this week. Tech doesn’t have a guy that can rush for 100 yards, but their defense is better than Oklahoma State’s. Not sure UT-Austin’s got another big comeback in it if the Steers get well-behind early again...Texas Tech 37 Texas 34

#16 Connecticut over CINCINNATI taking 5 ½: Wow. A victory over faltering South Florida on the strength of 8 (count ‘em, 8!) turnovers gets the Bearkats home-chalk status?! Huskies collapsed late in Storrs last year to give Cincy the win. Just can’t pick against the Sled Dogs here as they go for first-ever SU win over Cincinnati in four tries...UCONN 21 UC 19

#17 Florida over SOUTH CAROLINA giving 6: Spurrier has split the two games he’s played against his old school since returning to the college ranks and nearly won last year too (losing 17-16). The rubber game of the match goes to...Gators 30 Cluck-Cluck 14

UTAH STATE over #19 Boise State taking 24 1/2: We considered this for lock when the line opened at 27. Aggies return of 18 starters from 2006 has paid dividends (at least for bettors) as USU has already surpassed last year’s spread wins (5-3-1 overall, 3-2 in the WAC vs. last season’s 3-9/2-5 respectively). Broncos just 2-4 last 6 on the conference road. Aggies just a missed XP vs. UNLV away from 6-3.....BSU 37 USU 19

#20 CLEMSON over Wake Forest giving 8: No shame in missing a 48-yard FG on the road as time expires to lose by a single point. Unfortunately, that was the second missed kick of the game for Wake. Deacons need a victory here and next week vs. NC State, along with two losses by BC to have a shot at ACC title game. Tigers have taken 7 of 10 in this series, but covered only 3 of ‘em...Clemson 29 WF 19

MISSISSIPPI STATE over #21 Alabama taking 4 ½: Vindicator made a handwritten notation last summer in one of his preseason mags that the Tide’s only tough road game was regular-season ender at Auburn. Perhaps that notation was a bit hasty. An upset is not outta’ the realm of possibility here with Bulldogs needing one more win for a bowl berth and having already beaten Auburn and Kentucky away...’Bama 19 MSU 17

#22 TENNESSEE over Arkansas (PK): Win over depleted Gamecocks adds a little credibility (emphasis on a little) to ‘Hogs win-loss record. Tennessee doesn’t defend the run all that well, but then neither does Kentucky, who spanked Arkansas earlier. Arkansas has qualified for the post-season, but four of the requisite six-pack of victories came over three Sun Belt teams and I-AA Tennessee-Chattanooga. They are, however, just five total points in losses to Auburn and ‘Bama from 8 wins. Vols in the middle of four-game homestand and need a cover to lock in first back-to-back winning spread seasons since ‘98 and ‘99. UT is 4-0-1 ATS at home this year. Vols laying nothing at home is the right side... Tennessee 24 Pigs 21

#23 Virginia over MIAMI taking 3 1/2: With the OT loss at NC State, ‘Canes obviously aren’t quite there yet under new coach Randy Shannon. Cavs are only here on the good fortune of aforementioned missed 48-yard FG by Wake with nothing left on the clock. Minor upset that establishes nice Cavs-Hokies finale to decide the ACC Coastal Division winner...Virginia 18 Miami 14

#25 Kentucky over VANDERBILT giving 3 ½: Curious line supported only by Commodores’ valiant three-point defeat to Georgia in Nashville. Unless ‘Cats fail to protect the football or let themselves get into a track meet... KY 35 Admirals 24

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
And now...Vindy grabs his picket sign, but first reprints some of his favorite "hash" items from 1997....NOT!

As a demo of his skills, Vindicator submits the following rewrite of the opening to a well-known daytime soap... "Like sandwiches through the shotglass, so are the College Game Days of Our Lives"! (Hey...we just write... Somebody else is gonna’ have to figure out how to stuff the hoagie into the jigger, okay??!!)

A judge in Gate City, Virginia got removed from the bench for among other things, deciding a child’s Christmas visitation between divorced parents by flipping a coin. Good news though...the judge has been offered the ceremonial coin toss at this year’s Meineke Car Care Bowl.

The Guvenator this past Friday said he learned to negotiate while sitting with his wife, Maria Shriver, in their Jacuzzi. Vindy extends an invitation to Cal’s first lady to sit with him in the hot tub and help our fearless forecaster negotiate next week’s picks!

While we often lambast the specific teams that the Weber Kid struggles regularly to pick on the right side of the line, little attention is typically given to the squads that come through week-to-week. Up for post-season awards of the positive kind are: Rutgers (6-1); Oregon, Virginia Tech and Wisconsin (all at 5-2). Not enough plate appearances yet, but probably going to meet the minimum at-bats (7): Arkansas (4-0-1) and Kansas (4-1).

Welcoming the 2007 college hoops season: What Don Imus actually meant to utter about the Rutgers women’s basketball team last April..."snappy, threaded clothes".

Senator John McCain invited visitors to his presidential campaign website last March to join him in picking winners in the 2007 NCAA tourney. We heard he had Texas A&M-Corpus Christi winning it all and AZ going out in the 1st round!

To ensure proper disposal and avoid misuse, the FDA recommended this week that expired medications be placed in sealed plastic bags with coffee grinds, dog poop or Vindy’s Picks to make the meds unpalatable to small children and animals rummaging through trash cans or dumpsters! (Hope you’ve enjoyed this public safety announcement!)

The Collegiate Bass Anglers Association wants to make fishing a recognized competitive college sport (Oh for goodness sake...go ahead and tack a "national" to the beginning and make the acronym NCBAA!). Can’t wait to see the opinions on these "athletes"..."Well, Bob...he’s good on the ‘dink and dunk’ but just can’t get the lure down-pond on a consistent basis". What about fishermen with unorthodox casting motions? Will there be penalties for illegal lures or forfeit of wins for using an angler with an expired fishing license? Rod and highlight reels? On a team desperately needing a victory, might we hear a talking head quip..."it’s time to fish or cut bait". Do they pump in crowd noise when practicing for away tournaments? Are there starters and back-ups in event of casting-shoulder injuries? What does the "scout team" do? Would the spread be based on total catches or poundage? Would an angler expected to go high in the first round decline a trip to New York to spend his traditional National Fishing League Draft Day playing football with his father? (Time for Vin to refill his meds again, isn’t it??!!)

"Locked in a Box?": It took a TD with 5 seconds left in the game, but those Troy Trojans pulled it out and boosted Vin’s lock percentage to .700 (7-3).

Shoppe Talk: The !@%$#@!!! Gators (1-7) had the intestinal fortitude to toy with our humble host for 15 minutes of game time, allowing Vandy to stay within two TDs, then quickly ripped his heart out with a huge 2nd quarter and never looked back! The USC Trojans will again stand guard at the Shoppe with a 2-7 forecast record!

Vindy’s Week 11 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: Feel free to call the fumbling forecaster "Magnum, P.I." (Prognosticating Idiot) because the "best bets" now stand at .357 (15-27-1).
New Mexico State +3 over SAN JOSE STATE, East Carolina -8 over MARSHALL, NORTH TEXAS +15 ½ over Navy, San Diego State +2 ½ over UNLV