Wednesday, December 06, 2017

Vindy's Picks 2017 Army-Navy

NEW ADDITION TO TEAM AVERTS AIR DISASTER 
 
BUFFALO, New York (UPI)…NFL (Non-stop Flight League) and law enforcement officials are still investigating an incident that occurred aboard one of two planes actually owned-and-operated by the New England Patriots ahead of the December 3rd tilt with the Bills. The aircraft-in-question, dubbed "Air Forced-Fumble One, suffered a temporary-though-major drop-in-altitude after an unidentified attendant "accidentally" shoved a stowaway Bills' fan through the emergency-hatch. With Tom Brady nowhere to be found and Jimmy Garropolo now out west with the Niners, recently-acquired former-San Francisco quarterback Brian Hoyer grabbed the controls and, with the help of officials in the tower, landed the plane safely in New Era Field, narrowly-avoiding the end-zone goal-posts in the north-end of the stadium, leaving early fans in the stands shaken-but-unharmed!  By the way, Hoyer volunteered to help American Airlines solve its pilot-shortage problem for December! 
 
Showin' a little late-season fatigue, we limped to a 4-4-1 outing last weekend (127-102-4, .555). Behind-da'-chains this time last year at 116-124-5, we're happily-jumpin' out of a perfectly-good airplane to land behind-the-lines of an enemy-sportsbook with...  
 
THE WEBER KID'S 2017 ARMY-NAVY FORECAST 
(Standin' tall and lookin' good...oughta' march in Hollywood!) 
 
Army (+3) over Navy (@ Philadelphia, PA) We correctly had Army +6 and "under 47" in last year's iteration, which was the Long Gray Line's first straight-up triumph in the series in 15 tries. As usual, both of the top two rushing-attacks in the nation face-off here. Both sides defeat the run fairly-well."Pass" is a four-letter expletive for West Point, who shows a 2 TD-to-5 INT ration. Midshipmen nominally-better at 10-10. Army has recorded 8 SU wins to-date against 3 losses. Navy is 6-5. Spread-records inspire no confidence on either front, with Army at 3-7 and Navy at 3-7-1. Ground-Pounders are crapshoots regarding totals, while Swabbies show 7-3 "under" (5-1 "under" outside the home-port). Having said that, only Florida Atlantic (surprisingly) scored less than 21 vs. the Sailors and the Air Force tilt finished at 93 points!). Middies also posted 21 or more in all but final pair of games (17 at Our Lady and 14 at Houston, both losses). Army knows how to win close-games, going 4-2 outright in contests decided plus-or-minus 7 and has significant advantage in returning starters, especially at QB. Looking at common-opponents, Brigade lost by 4 at Tulane, beat Temple at home 31-28 and pitched goose-egg at USAF 21-0. Boat People beat Tulane 23-21 in Annapolis, lost by a dozen at Temple and won 48-45 in home-track-meet over the Flyboys. Phil Steele mentioned USN hasn't lost dropped back-to-back decisions in this series since five-game slide in the 90's.  Much like 2016 season, field-goals tend to be nail-biters from both kickers, particularly from beyond 29-yards, suggesting more go-for-its on 4th Down, resulting in shorter game, fewer possessions and fewer points-scored. If Army protects the ball (-8 turnovers, all on fumbles), it gets to sing second and hoist da' Commander-in-Chief's Trophy fer just second-time in over two decades, and best outright win-record of 9 since 10-2 in 1996...LTs 22 Ensigns 16   
 
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS 
 
BTW, Vindy was on said-flight and stealthily-pocketed several miniature-bottles of Jack Daniels as the beverage-cart rolled past his aisle-seat during the commotion! 
 
In related news, Vindy's spies later learned that Mr. Brady, fearing another Deflategate, quickly exited the cockpit area as the cabin starting losing pressure! 
 
Also, Da' Pats rent-out space on the planes to the public visiting Foxborough when not in use during the week, making for true Air B&Bs! Patrons sporting Bill Belichick's signature-hoodie onboard get a 10% discount on snacks, beverages and baggage fees! 
 
Sing it with us..."Hush, little bettor, don’t say a word, Vindy’s gonna buy you a parlay card. And if that parlay card won’t win, Vindy’s gonna’ buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring turns brass, Vindy’s gonna’ buy you a looking glass. And if ‘dat looking-glass gets broke, Vindy’s gonna’ buy you a Navy goat. And if datNavy goat won’t pull, Vindy’s gonna’ buy you a cart-and-bull. And if that cart-and-bull turn over, Vindy's gonna’ buy you a ‘dog named Rover. And if that ‘dog named Rover won’t bark, Vindy’s gonna’ buy you a horse-and-cart. And if dat’ horse-and-cart fall down, you’ll still be the sweetest little bettor in town. 
 
In April 17, legal Nevada establishment-owner of Pirate's Booty Sports Brothel Dennis Hof pledged a 50%-discount for sex-soirees booked by/for the Las Vegas Raiders team players and personnel. So many thoughts we could offer here, but Vindy's Picks is a family-friendly blog, so we'll just keep those sentiments classified. 
 
"Locked in a Box": Auburn looked good on the opening drive, hitting the EZ, but disappeared thereafter, lowering the lock-tally to a still-respectable 9-3-1 (.750). 
 
Black Shirt: The Apparel-of-Accolades goes to Wisconsin TE Troy Fumagalli for 2-point conversion catch that let the Badgers eventually push +6 in loss to Ohio State. 
 
Shoppe Talk: Clemson, 3-6-2 (.333; 6-16-2, .272 last two dozen at-bats) after blasting Miami, gets a pass until the Sugar bowl. 
 
Vindy's Army-Navy Best Bets: None. Last Week: 1-1 Season: 25-26-1 (.490) 
 
On-deck...circa December 15, Part One of our infamous bowl predictions!