Wednesday, September 25, 2019
NFL PRIZE DECLARED “GOOD AS NEW” MONTHS AFTER DAMAGE
FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts (AP)...National Football League officials this week announced that repairs had been finally-completed on the previously-marred Lombardi Trophy. The incident-in-question occurred at Fenway Park in Boston, last April, during a celebratory-event marking the Patriots’ February Super Bowl-win over the Los Angeles Rams. Retired Rob Gronkowski, after asking former-teammate Julian Edelman, in a nod to a certain-TV commercial (Editorial note: if we’re bein’ perfectly-honest, we could not locate that ad!), to “chuck one in to da’ next Babe Ruth”, lined a pitch into the pro championship-hardware, leaving an unsightly-dent. Edelman took his time fielding da’ ricochet, allowing Gronk to reach 1st-Base safely. Umpires huddled and ultimately-decided the play was ruled an infield-hit and the Patriots star tight-end was immediately-replaced by the more-fleet-footed Edelman with hopes of scoring a run. He was also subsequently-served with a restraining-order, filed by New England team officials, prohibiting him from being within 500-feet of the trophy!
At 0-2 heading into Saturday’s contests, we were doomed to an ultimately-dismal 6-12-1 no-showing (34-39-3, .466) for Week 4. Staggerin’, but still collectin’ more Nobel Prize-votes than President Trump, we propose...
THE WEBER KID’S WEEK 5 FORECAST
(Now available in pumpkin-spice flavor!)
FRI. SEPT. 27
#12 Penn State (-6 ½) over MARYLAND: Nifty Lions rested last week after takin’ hard-fought victory in the last-scheduled game vs. rival Panthers. Lions garnered #4-best spot in FBS-sacks with 47 in 2018 season and have recorded 11 to-date thru three-games thus-far, on-track to get close to that number. Box Turtles’ (who were also idle last week) success has come via #8 ground-game-yardage at 277+ yard-per-contest. If we were Coach Franklin, we’d stack da’ box and force Terps QB Josh Jackson throw his way to a victory! Owls kept otherwise-scoring-(proficient) Amphibians to 17-points in close-loss. PSU should triumph by double-digits, but “under 58 ½” wouldn’t a be bad-choice either...Alma Mater 27 Terrapins 16
#15 CAL (-4 ½) over Arizona State: We salute da’ Berkeley Bears fer bringin’-home our upset-pick-of-da'-week over Ole’ Missus last week! Cali Cubs fer 12-PACK champions! Who’s with us???!!! Gotta’ go with serious Mo’ fer the Ursines...Bears 29 ASU 20
SAT. SEPT. 28
#1 Clemson (-27) over NORTH CAROLINA: No faith in this pick as ‘Heels’ four games on the season have been decided a total of 12 points...Tigers 48 UNC 14
Mississippi @ #2 ALABAMA (“under 61 ½”): Tide 45 Old Missed 7
#3 Georgia: IDLE (next @ Tennessee)
#4 Louisiana State: IDLE (next vs. Utah State)
NEBRASKA (+17 ½) over #5 Ohio State: Huskers have three victories in four attempts (1-3 ATS) against basically...nobody, but if Big Red is gonna’ live up to the hype in Scott Frost’s second-year, this would be the place to start. No doubt, coaches have reminded the hosts of 36-31 defeat last season at Da’ Shoe. State’s allowing an average of 9 ppg and Scarlet & Gray cheerleaders, spelling the first four strings of reserves, were along da’ line-of-scrimmage for a few snaps late in the Buckeyes 71-point win over Miami-Ohio...OSU 35 Nebraska 23
Texas Tech (+27) over #6 OKLAHOMA: Best guess fer “Wish We Had It Back”. Both clubs were idle last week. Red Raiders first three-games finished well-below posted-total of 72 ½ and bested points-against avergae ineach of last previous three seasons, going from 44 ppg-against to 31 ppg-against in 2018. Sooners eked-out 51-46 win last year and enter this match with cumulative 156-59 edge on the scoreboard. Sooners travel to suddenly-competitive Kansas next. Spooners K Calum Sutherland got some grey-bar-hotel-time for public-intoxication over the weekend. Taking his roster-spot fer this one, will be USWNT soccer-player Carla Lloyd, who hit from 55-yards and 32-yards as an Eagles’ practice-guest in August. Be advised...we went from ”over 72 ½” to “under 72 ½” to ‘dog and da’ points! Go... run...save yerselves!...OK 38 TTU 28
Mississippi State (+10 ½) over #7 AUBURN: War Eagle 28 Bulldogs 24
#8 WISCONSIN (-24) over Northwestern: Wisky 44 NDUB 14
Towson @ #9 FLORIDA: No line.
#18 Virginia (+12 ½) over #10 NOTRE DAME: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. UPSET ALERT. Wahoos dug-out of a 17-zip hole vs. Old Domicile in obvious peek-ahead spot to this one. Only da’ ‘Noles posted more than 17 on the scoreboard against Virginia, but we just can’t pull the trigger on “under fitty” here. Irish are prolly banged-up after tough 23-17 defeat between da’ hedges. Despite Our Lady covering 4 of last 5 vs. ranked-clubs and 4 of last 6 against the ACC, we like the Cavs, 4-2 ATS vs. The Top 25 and getting generous double-digits...Catholics 27 VA 24
#11 Texas: IDLE (next @ West Virginia)
#13 Oregon: IDLE (next vs. Cal)
Middle Tennessee State @ #14 IOWA (“under 53”): Second-choice for “lock”. Blue Raiders went down by 19 at Ann Arbor to open the year and per Marc Lawrence, are 4-0 following a bye week. Hawkeyes will show as little of the playbook as possible with Wolverines on-deck...Iowa 27 MTSU 6
#16 Boise State: IDLE (next @ UNLV)
#21 Southern Cal (+10) over #17 WASHINGTON: Oh, please. Let’s face it, Sports-fans...the best wagering-strategy until further-notice in PAC-12 play is to take da’ points (Cal as chalk notwithstanding!). Trojans’ insert third-starting quarterback on the season...Sled Dogs 31 Trojans 27
Washington State @ #19 UTAH (“over 56 ½”): Pick has nuthin’ to do with Wazzou’s 67-63 cluster-of-a-performance last week. 12-PACK is playin’ itself outta’ CFP-contention with ranked-teams falling weekly to non-Top-25 conference opponents. Neither side did us any favors either with Coogs wasting 32-point 3rd-Quarter lead vs. previously winless-Uclans and hosts going own at unranked-USC (BTW, we missed Marc Lawrence’s note that the visitor in Utah-USC series was 1-7 ATS...now 1-8). Homecoming in Salt Lake and Utes are in revenge-mode for 2018’s 28-24 defeat in Pullman, but...Utah 34 WSU 30
Rutgers (+27 ½) over #20 MICHIGAN: Wolverines 31 Exit 9B on the Jersey Turnpike 13
#22 CENTRAL FLORIDA (-43) over Connecticut: UCF 58 UConn 6
Arkansas (+23) over #23 Texas A&M (@ Arlington, TX): Series-history favors and da’ coin prefers...Aggies 41 Bacon 24
#24 KANSAS STATE (+5) over Oklahoma State: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. First-choice was “under 63”. Consider yerselves warned! Wildcats had a bye, while ‘Pokes lost a tough one in Austin 36-30 to the Horns. OKSU is still hangin-around the periphery of the rankings. Interesting that their laying points here. ‘cats will need to stop RB Chuba Howard. Texas-game should provide some guidance there. Purrrple Persians shoulda’ been ranked a week-ago!...KSU 31 OKSU 27
Indiana (+14) over #25 MICHIGAN STATE: Sparty regains the hash-tag following three-touchdown road-victory at Northwestern. State is 1-2 against the line laying double-digits this year and 2-6 in past 8 similar-situations. Indy hasn’t beaten anyone-of-name so far, though covered all three away-dog opportunities last season...MSU 24 Hoosiers 13
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
In last week’s picks, we forgot to note Marc Lawrence’s trend of backing previous-season's bowl-player at home in Game 4 following pair of SU-losses, then winning Game 3 outright. Week 3 qualifier MIAMI –29 ½ failed miserably in mere 17-12 win over Chippies of Central Michigan (see our thoughts below). Week 5 has SOUTH FLORIDA (+7 ½) over undefeated Sudden Methadone! (Full-disclosure...we’d support da’ Pony Express at 4-0/4-0!)
Did we mention Jared Goff has been under-center for his Alma Mater!
In related news, AB signs-up at CMU...fer online-classes. Brown was covertly on-the-field as a decoy fer Chippies mere-5-point loss in Coral Gables! No word yet as to whether the WR-diva will qualify fer a scholarship.
In related cross-sport news to our Tech Tech-Oklahoma prediction...in August, in frustration after allowing he game-winning run to the Marlins in extra-frames, Braves RP Sean Newcomb kicked a fire-extinguisher, splitting the space between the dug-out and the clubhouse. The Atlanta Falcons subsequently offered the hurler a try-out for a spot on special-teams!
Last June, in the midst of “playing ball” with his famous Big Blue coach dad, Jack Harbaugh belted a whiffle-ball line-drive that dislodged Daddy’s cell-phone from his hand. The Wolverines beisbol-coach has already offered the youthful Harbaugh a scholarship fer 2030 season! Meanwhile in light of big-game no-shows, we think somebody should knock da’ playbook outta’ Jim Harbaugh’s hands!
Hooray Fer Da’ Little Guy: No FBS-squads fell at the hands of FCS-clubs in Week 4 (though Fresno State’s 20-12 win in the friendly-stadium against FCS unranked-and-vote-less Sacramento State was prolly a bit-unnerving for Bulldogs’-faithful!). This Saturday, best-bet for the upset is #9 Nicholls State over TEXAS STATE.
“Wish We Had It Back”: Ironically...none this week. We felt, by-and-large, sufficiently-okay in our Week 4 picks.
Black Shirt: The coveted-cloth goes to A&M kicker Seth Small fer hooking 47-yard-boot wide-left in 1st Quarter vs. Auburn, ultimately-salvaging a push, saving us a from a 13th forecast-loss.
“Locked in a Box”: Last Week: 0-1 Season: 1-2-1 (.333). UCF’s NY-Six bowl-berth just took a major hit, losing outright at Pitt after layin’ a dozen!
Shoppe Talk: At the doorway to Da’ Shoppe, the Badgers of Wisconsin (0-4, .000) meet-n-greet the Trojans of USC (0-3, .000) and the Muskies of UDUB (0-3, .000)!
Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 8-7-1 (.533)
USAF –19 over San Josie State, Brigham Young –1 over TOLEDO, Colorado State +23 ½ over UTAH STATE, Navy @ MEMPHIS “under 53 ½”
Until next week, we leave the loyal readership with a quote from Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar... "Let slip-screen the underdogs of war!"