Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Vindy's Picks Week 6-2008


EAST RUTHERFORD, New Jersey (ITAR-Tass)....Shortly after tossing six touchdown passes, tying a Jets’ record set by Joe Namath over three decades ago, in a wild victory over the Arizona Cardinals, Bret Favre reneged on an earlier August statement in which he was quoted as saying, “I’m here for one reason. Not to make commercials. I’m here to help the Jets win.” The former Southern Miss QB and Packers’ legend agreed to reprise Broadway Joe’s role in the now-classic 1970's commercial for Noxema shaving cream, which featured Farrah Fawcett, during the upcoming bye week While several names have been bandied about as co-stars, such as Jessica Simpson, Carrie Underwood, Hannah Montana, Hayden Panettiere and Ashley Olsen, Sarah Palin has offered to “lose the school-marm specs and feather the hair” to lean on her beauty queen past and remake the commercial in an effort to plug the campaign in the Big Apple and the surrounding metro area! The Republican candidate is also rumored to be taking some snaps from a few yards deep behind center two weeks from now at home against the Bengals because the New York front office heard she was good with the shotgun!

Vindy turned in a lackluster 7-7-1 (39-40-1, .493) for Week Five, but his preferred picks (lock of da’ week and best bets) went a profitable 5-1as the canines crooned this week (covering 11 of 14, with one push). Compiled on a short week with more intuition than information, more vermouth than truth and more numbness than numbers, it’s...

(now melamine-free)

#17 BOISE STATE over Louisiana Tech giving 22:
No faith in this pick as Vindy went back-and-forth a couple times before settling on the fave. Broncos have beaten the Bulldogs by at least two touchdowns four years in a row, Tech is abysmal 5-18 against the line getting points away from Ruston. LT is also 1-3 ATS last quartet vs. Boise, but knocked off Mississippi State in the home opener, got shutout 29-0 at Kansas, then beat double-A Southeast Weeziana by 15. Will the real Bulldogs please step forward.! Good guess for “wish I had it back”, but...Broncos 38 Tech 8

#10 SOUTH FLORIDA over Pittsburgh giving 13 1/2:
Panthers had to rally from 11-point 3rd Quarter hole at Syracuse last week and despite 3-1 record, Pitt is only 1-3 against the number. Bulls finally showed signs of being the juggernaut Vindy expected back in August, putting NC State away on the road by halftime... USF 38 Pitt 16

#15 UTAH over Oregon State giving 11 1/2: Utes went up 34-7, then let a couple other guys take turns under center vs. Weber State. Incredible letdown opportunity for the Beavers off second upset of the Trojans in three years but back on the road against a ranked team. State can take advantage of visit by Wazzou next Saturday, but here it’s ...Utah 29 OSU 14

#8 Brigham Young over UTAH STATE giving 30:
Mormons enter this one rested after defeating last two foes by combined total of 103-0. Any questions? BTW, anybody else out there think the “Y” in Yahoo looks conspicuously like the one on the side of Brigham Young helmets?!...Cougars 41 Aggies 3

#1 Oklahoma over BAYLOR giving 26:
One of the trio of faves to actually cover in last week’s forecast was Oklahoma, who likes playing in Waco, missing only one cover in the last half-dozen visits (and only then by 1 ½ points). Bares are competitive in their first season under new coach Art Briles, but just 4-12 ATS vs. fellow Big 12 clubs the past two years. We’re expecting a much better showing from the chalk this week, including this one... Sooners 54 Baylor 14

Kentucky over #2 ALABAMA taking 16 ½: Figuring a slight letdown for ‘Bama off nice upset win over Joja’. Back in Week Two, we ignored a stat, which updated with this season’s numbers, now shows Tide as 3-15 ATS laying points at home. ‘Cats face only four opponents this year who had fewer than 7 wins in 2007 and must improve on the 26 sacks they gave up over final six games last season to have a chance at the victory here. KY doing a nice job defensively, with just one opposing team scoring more than 3 points...Bammy 29 Wildcats 19

#3 LSU: IDLE (next @ Florida)

NEBRASKA over #4 Missouri over taking 11: Coach Pelini called out his team for “bonehead mistakes” after loss to Virginia Tech. In July, the state of Nebraska enacted the “safe haven” law, allowing abandonment of kids as old as 19 at area hospitals without fear of legal consequences. Guess that explains all but the most senior of Huskers players being “accidentally left behind” at the Lincoln Medical Center following Saturday’s shootout defeat!...Tigers 34 Big Redi-Whip 29

#5 Texas over COLORADO giving 13 ½: We thank the Steers, who combined with the Rice Owls to show your host a little Lone Star love and bring home one of Vindicator’s two successful parlay bets last week! Buffaloes pretty much eliminated West Virginia from the national title race a couple weeks back, but fell well-short vs. the Seminoles and we historically get hosed every time we jump on the Bison bandwagon. Three of ‘Horns’ four wins in ‘08 have been by finals of exactly 52-10!...Texas 29 Colorado 14

#6 Penn State over PURDUE giving 12: How good does Penn State’s lashing of the Beavers look right now??!! Lions won every statistical category vs. the Illini (except passing yards, in which they were only two behind). Boilers have now failed to cover five of last six back to last year and were responsible for the only spread loss among Vindy’s Week Five “best bets”. Line’s reasonable given State’s first road trip this year and the Choo-Choos have covered two of the last four years, but assuming a better defensive effort this week, we’ll stay with the blue-and-white. We are...Penn State 30 Purdue 15

KANSAS STATE over #7 Texas Tech taking 7: In view of Wildcats’ loss at Louisville and scant 8-point victory at home over Weeziana-Lafayette, it would be way too easy to lay the points with Tech’s “Air Raid” offense, but TTU hasn’t beaten anybody of note, tripping up Reno on the road and smoking two FCS teams and C-USA bottom-feeder SMU. For all its potency, Texas Tech has only 6 covers in 18 tries as a road fave in last four-plus seasons....Raiders 38 K-State 34

#23 Oregon over #9 USC taking 18: Trojans haven’t suffered back-to-back straight-up defeats since Pete Carroll’s first year as coach in 2001 (when USC actually dropped four in a row!). Decoys are 17-7 ATS taking points away from the Pond since start of 2000 season, though just 5-3 the last two years. The Mallards won 24-17 last year in Eugene. Troy now 9-2 ATS vs. last 11 ranked opponents. After reading an article last week about NASA’s deployment of rubber ducks inside a Greenland glacier to determine how melting water moves through ice, USC coaches elected to forgo the usual film sessions to flood the Coliseum and release 11 rubber ducks of their own to study how Oregon might attack on offense during Saturday’s game..Troy 34 Quack Attack 24.

#11 Georgia: IDLE (next vs. Tennessee)

#12 Florida over ARKANSAS giving 23: Recently, a pig as large as a small pony held a woman hostage in her Australian home for ten days. The mutant porker, who was identified only as “Bruce” and tipped the scales at 176 pounds, apparently spent many evenings banging its head on the woman’s door before running off. Authorities were able to catch the uniform number, however, how the Arkansas player got “down under” to begin with is still a mystery and school officials back in the U.S. aren’t naming names, but given the weight and head-banging behavior, the athlete in question is either a safety or a special teams player...Gators 45 Bacon Strips 13

#19 VANDERBILT over #13 Auburn taking 4: OK...Tigers have four SU wins, a lone spread win and exactly ZERO forecast wins! The Auburn defense is -135 this week to outscore its offensive counterparts! Vandy came into 2008 with 4-9 spread record getting points in Nashville, but won outright in its only home dog role to-date vs. South Carolina. Commodores are 4-0 SU and ATS...and snag the upset...Admirals 17 Auburn 16

#18 WISCONSIN over #14 Ohio State taking 2 ½: Only third time since mid-2003 as a home dog for the Badgers (and they covered the previous two), who haven’t lost a game at Camp Randall under Coach Bielema (now in his third season), but State is only the second ranked team to visit Wisky in the last 28 matches. Buckeyes have yet to hang a “W” in the spread column...Cheeseheads 17 OSU 14

#16 Kansas over IOWA STATE giving 13: Line looks a tad low for a Jayhawks squad that had South Florida on the ropes on the road before a defensive collapse cost it the loss and Cyclones should’ve lost to UNLV. Vin chalks up Kansas’ 24-point win over Sam Houston State to lack of interest...Kansas 34 Dust Devils 14

Western Kentucky over #20 VIRGINIA TECH taking 28: While Tech could be up 14-0 early in the 1st Quarter before the Hokies offense even gets outta’ the tunnel if Hilltoppers gets possession to start the game, we like the defense to dominate while a couple strings of reserves get some reps at home in the middle of four road games that mean more to VT...Beamer Ball 24 Western Kentucky 0

#21 OKLAHOMA STATE over Texas A&M giving 24: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Texas A&M in each of last four seasons, one opponent has played it a lot closer than it should’ve. Arkansas State and Army already qualify this year in that category. Aggies have gone 10-5-1 ATS the last two years against other Big 12 teams, but this year’s group looks seriously out-of-synch under former Green Bay coach Mike Sherman. Courtesy of Marc Lawrence’s Playbook...A&M has covered only twice in last 35 outright losses. Cowpokes definitely enjoying the homefield this year, hitting the 50's in each game. They do so again...OKSU 54 TAMU 24

Hawaii over #22 FRESNO STATE taking 22 1/2: ‘Bows on 4-10 spread run, including 2-6 away from the Islands. Having gone up by three just 90 seconds into the 2nd Quarter, Fresno coach Pat Hill went for 2 following the TD. What the hell was that about?! The failed attempt cost Vindy a loss instead of a push. Bi-polar Bulldogs defense seems to play to level of opponent’s D. Combined, these two have one cover in 7 tries on the season...FSU West 35 Hawaii 20

#24 Connecticut over NORTH CAROLINA taking 7: Huskies rallied from 10 down to score the final 10 points in the last 5 ½ minutes of the game (7 on an INT return for touchdown) to get by Louisville and own a pair of three-point triumphs over also-powerhouses Temple and Baylor. Carolina has covered 7 of last 11 going back to ‘07, but what do the Heels have in the tank following tough games against Virginia Tech and Miami?....Huskies 21 Tarheels 17

#25 Wake Forest: IDLE (next vs. Clemson 10/9)

BTW, fans finding and returning any wayward rubber duckies to the Trojans athletic department can exchange them for a free hotdog and beer at the SoCal home game of their choice!

Having reeled off four straight losses (SU and ATS), the Eastern Michigan Eagles have elected to suspend their 2008 football campaign “until this whole financial crisis thing is resolved!”

Late in the 1st Quarter of the Saints loss to Denver two weeks ago, Martin Grammatica booted a nifty 43-yard FG that split the uprights, but upon further review, referee Ed Hochuli ruled the kick fell short and awarded possession to Denver...at the New Orleans one-yard line!

Native Alaskan Sarah Palin believes her home state’s relative proximity to Russia gives her sufficient foreign policy experience to be vice president. Applying the same logic then, the Republican running mate is also qualified to coach in the Canadien Football League and the NHL!

The UCLA math department whiz kids just found a prime number with 13 million digits. Almost as many as a Peyton Manning audible!

Bruce Springsteen was announced this week as the halftime performer for this season’s Super Bowl. Online responses note the most popular choices for the anticipated four-song set to be “Born to Run “, “Glory Days”, “Cover Me” and “No Surrender”, but Vindicator offers a fifth, albeit lesser-known, selection...”Loose Ends”!

As many as six former NFL players have agreed to donate their brains to science for purposes of concussion research after their demise. Vindicator submits there a few current players who have already done so pre-mortem!

True pigskin fans have realized we’re in the middle of that wonderful time of the season in which there is/was at least one football game, pro or college, each night since Thursday, September 25 through Monday, October 6!

Last Wednesday morning, Dodger Stadium security took a man into custody after he got on the field while impersonating a ball-player. The man could get as much four years behind bars if found guilty. An unidentified front office staffer for Los Angeles, however, told media the Dodgers would seek to trade him for some pitching help or designate him for assignment to its double-A farm team if exonerated!

Trying to break a team batting slump back in May, Chicago White Sox players placed inflatable dolls on a couch and surrounded them with “strategically-placed” bats. It worked...but ironically, the dolls would also collectively finish with a batting average of .314 and nearly 100 RBI.

Black Shirt: the Sin City Soothsayer awards this week’s Black Shirt recognition to....to the Rice Owls for not letting off the throttle vs. the Lean Green while helping Vindy complete one of his first two successful two-team parlays of the season as noted earlier!

“Locked in a Box?”: No tainted ground beef this week as Texas hammered Arkansas and took the lock tally up again to 4-1 (.800). (BTW, loyal readers can refer to Vindy as “MAC Daddy” this week after Mid-Americans Northern Illinois and Bowling Green teamed up to provide the other winning parlay!)

Shoppe Talk: Bama gets off the schnide with a big win over Joja’, but in-state rival Auburn forces Vin to open the aviary wing at 0-5!

Vindy’s Week 1 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-1 Season: 13-7-1 (.650)
MINNESOTA -8 over Indiana, Maryland -14 over VIRGINIA, Northern Illinois +16 ½ over TENNESSEE, Akron -3 ½ over KENT STATE

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