Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Vindy's Picks Week 8-2010


SEATTLE, Washington (ITAR-Tass)....
Even as Mexican sports reporter Ines Sainz gets back in the saddle after a 30-day hiatus following an embarrassing incident in the NY Jets’ locker room, the Vegas Vindicator mockingly sounds the alarm again. Moonlighting as a reporter for SSPN (Soviet Sports and Propaganda Network), the Sin City Soothsayer found himself inside a post-game locker room, toe-to-camel toe with sultry, semi-naked members of the Seattle Mist of the Lingerie Football League (Editor’s note: Considering how little the “athletes” wear to begin with, we ain’t sure if they were undressing or still in full battle-garb!) as the target of hoots, hollers and cat-calls. Said the renowned forecaster, “I felt so uncomfortable...NOT! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”. The outing brought an invite to do a centerfold photo-shoot for Playgirl magazine...reportedly being considered by the Weber Kid.

Your haggard host was fortunate to finish 10-10 (57-66-2, .463) for Week 6 given a second straight run by the dogs. The Puppies are 24-15 (based on spreads at the time we published the picks) the last two weeks. Indeed, nine of oracle’s losses were dog covers. We did, however, notch a Thursday night dubya behind West Virginia.

The Chilean miner who kept a wife and a girlfriend, after being rescued, made his first stop at the home of his mistress...because she had a copy of...

THE WEBER KID’S 2010 WEEK 8 FORECAST(Preferred picks of the “Cigar Guy”)

#1 OREGON over Ucla giving 22:
Both teams come into this one off a bye week and Oregon has dropped two of last three against the line, but both losses came on the PAC-10 road. UCLA, meanwhile, has lost two straight ATS, failing to cover in win over Wazzou and in getting whacked at Cal. Bruins have been unreliable away from the City of Angels (though they did blindside Texas in Austin). The margins have been closer than this number the last three years, with UCLA losing by 7 and 14, after winning 16-0 in 2007. All three of the Mallards’ home games have been victories by 21or more. UCLA lost to Stanford 35-0. Drakes beat the Trees by 21...Decoys 49 UCLA 24

SAT. OCT. 23

#2 Boise State: IDLE (next vs. Louisiana Tech 10/26)

#18 MISSOURI over #3 Oklahoma taking 3 1/2: Mizzou’s defense is good enough to stifle inconsistent Sooner offense. Neither team will likely run very effectively and the pass D edge goes to the Tigers, who’ve allowed four aerial scores while gathering in nine picks. Oklahoma’s ratio is 6 and 7, respectively. Missouri may also regain the services of its best pass-rusher this week...Tigers 24 Oklahoma 20

Air Force over #4 TCU taking 19 1/2: Flyboys tanked a pair of two-point conversions that would have at least allowed USAF a chance to win in OT over the Aztecs. Toads have gone just 1-3 against the number in their last four games. The common denominator among the three clubs that hung the spread losses on TCU was an ability to hold the potent Frogs to 14 or fewer in the first two periods (BYU allowed 17 first-half points, but just 3 until 90 seconds remained before the break). Ironically, the Pilots have allowed only I-AA Northwestern State to break 14 in the opening 30 minutes, compiling just a 2-4 spread record since then....TCU 24 USAF 10

#5 AUBURN over #6 Louisiana State giving 6: Auburn players wore T-shirts during practice this week with the words “Indisputable video evidence” emblazoned on them in honor of the replay officials who helped them beat Arkansas (though we’ll give some “credit” to the Razorbacks special teams as well) and now switch gears from breaking the abacus to “Holy crap! Somebody actually scored!” here. Gotta’ wonder how many Baton Rouge boo-birds will be in the stands this week after expressing their displeasure with Bengals’ O last week vs. McNeese State... Auburn 16 LSU 9

TENNESSEE over #7 Alabama taking 17: The Tide has had little difficulty in Knoxville, beating the line 11 times in 12 visits. Vols will be itchin’ for another crack at ‘Bama following last season’s 12-10 loss courtesy of two blocked kicks by Terrence “Mount” Cody in the 4th Quarter. Vols just 1-3-1 ATS this season. Tide is not invulnerable and if Vols can avoid repeat of second half vs. Oregon...Bama 27 Rocky Top 13

#8 Michigan State over NORTHWESTERN giving 5 ½: Wildcats are enjoying their first 5-1SU record since 2000, but bettors are suffering Northwestern’s usual spread woes with NU at 1-4 ATS to-date, and the best triumph was 30-13 over Rice. This is the first time in 2010 the ‘Cats are getting points. Until last week’s 6-3 halftime deficit to Illinois slowed the pace, Spartans had scored 30 or more in each of its games. We’ll take State to keep rolling ... MSU 34 NW 23

Colorado State over #9 UTAH taking 30 ½: Kudos to the Rams for providing the only ticket we cashed for Week 7 (and second winning ticket in as many weeks!). Both teams had special teams problems. State had two kicks blocked by UNLV, while the Utes permitted a blocked boot by Wyoming. Rams are on a 4-0 spread run and bowl eligibility is still a possibility if they sweep the last four games after this one (which would include an upset at San Diego State). Maybe CSU can pull same shenanigans they did in first half of TCU game. Maybe Utes will peek ahead to Air Force ...Utah 35 CSU 10

#13 IOWA over #10 Wisconsin giving 5 ½: Hawkeyes haven’t been chalk facing a Top 25 foe since the 2005 Outback Bowl. Line suggests an advantage to the Iowa rush defense vs. Badgers running game. Iowa’s kick-coverage teams will be wary after Wisky set the tone for upset of the Buckeyes with a 97-yard kick-off return to start the game. Iowa won 20-10 last season...Birds 20 Badgers 13

#11 OHIO STATE over Purdue giving 23: Purdue catches the Buckeyes at a bad time, but handed Northwestern its first loss of the year before sending Minnesota’s head coach packing with a victory over the Gophers. Boilermakers lost 16-3 at Da’ Shoe in 2008 and defeated then-#7 OSU last year 26-18. Buckeyes have covered eight straight in the payback mode (but those sounds you hear are the Purdue cheerleaders taunting Vindy with State’s ongoing forecast record...”Five and fifteen! Five and fifteen! Five and fifteen!...)... Buckeyes 37 Purdue 9

Washington State over #12 STANFORD taking 34 ½: Cougars still haven’t beaten a I-A opponent, but bettors who put their faith in Wazzou’s growth (or at least timing) haven’t been disappointed (WSU on 4-1 run against the line). Cardinal took a week off following squeaker over USC. Best guess for “wish I had it back”, but we’ll expect a flat Stanford team in the first half...Trees 29 Washington State 6

#14 Nebraska over #17 OKLAHOMA STATE giving 5 ½: This line either represents some misplaced respect for State, who found a lotta’ room to run and throw in win over Texas Tech or an over-reaction to Nebraska’s defeat by Texas. Maybe there’s an expectation the Cowboys can lure the Huskers into a shootout... Nebraska 38 OKSU 27

#15 ARIZONA over Washington giving 6: Wildcats’ starting QB Nick Foles was hurt early-on in game vs. Washington State and UDUB is an enigma to this forecaster. Huskies pulled the double-overtime win vs. Oregon State and beat AZ last year 36-33 on a very late interception return for a score. Statistical differences are negligible at best, except scoring defense. ‘Cats allow just over 13 ppg, tops in the conference. Dogs come in at 31 ppg, next to last in the PAC-10...Arizona 19 Washington 10

#16 Florida State: IDLE (next @NC State 10/28)

#19 South Carolina over VANDERBILT giving 12: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Expect a much better focus from the Fightin’ Fowl, who wasted an 18-point lead to lose last week. Vandy was on the wrong end of a 43-0 loss to Joja’ team that was re-asserting itself after a slow start. Last three in this match-up have been decided by 11 or fewer, but the Admirals lost 27-3 earlier to LSU...KFC 31 Vanderbilt 7

#20 WEST VIRGINIA over Syracuse giving 15: ‘Cuse has clobbered the lesser teams on the schedule, but been smoked by the better ones. ‘Eers coach Bill Stewart garnered “Black Shirt” consideration for signaling in the old hook-and-lateral for a touchdown late in the first half against South Florida that would be the decisive score in the Mounties’ Thursday night forecast victory for the Weber Kid. African security officers arrested 30 women wearing orange miniskirts at the World Cup on charges of ambush-advertising for a Dutch beer company. Turns out it was just the Syracuse cheerleaders on an international field trip!...WVU 28 Syracuse 9

Mississippi @ #21 ARKANSAS: OFF

#22 TEXAS over Iowa State giving 21: It’s still scary layin’ three scores with the ‘Horns, but Oklahoma, en route to a 52-nada victory, had ISU in an early hole so deep (all together now...”Howww...deeeep...was it???!!!), the Cyclones were breakin’ the huddle with Chilean miners! Steers are 2-1 ATS in conference so far, but didn’t lay 21 in any of those games and have won by this many only once this season (vs. Wyoming in September). Dust Devils are just 2-4 ATS, have been outscored 120-27 the last two weeks and haven’t covered in three tries vs. the Top 25... Longhorns 31 ISU 7

Duke over #23 VIRGINIA TECH taking 26 ½: Ever since deciding the season had actually started following loss to James Madison, Hokies have gone on 5-0 SU/ATS run, winning by an average of 22 points in that span. Blue Devils have been competitive in every game except blowout loss to Alabama. Under 3rd year head coach Cutliffe, Duke has lost to Tech by just 8 and 11 points the past two seasons...VT 41 Duke 19

#24 MISSISSIPPI STATE over Alabama-Birmingham giving 20: Assuming an uninspired first 30 minutes on heels of upset over Florida (which we called... thank you..thank you, very much!), the question is whether or not MSU can pull away in the second half. Don’t know how the Blazers took Tennessee to double-OT, but they looked bad vs. SMU and Central Florida...Bulldogs 24 UAB 0

North Carolina over #25 MIAMI taking 6 ½: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. The ‘Canes-Blue Devils match-up tallied five interceptions. Oddly, none of ‘em belonged to the Pelicans’ QB! Suspensions??!! So what???!!! Tarheels backers have cashed tickets in five of six opportunities. ACC history continues to plaque the ‘Canes, who are now 15-28 ATS in conference games and have been on the wrong side of the number 14 times in 21 tries under Coach Shannon. UNC has defeated Miami three straight years, getting points all three times. Last four opponents for Carolina haven’t gotten out of the teens...Carolina 17 Miami 14

Seattle Mist???? Isn’t that a brand of soda???!!! Sorry, folks...that ain’t sexy. How ‘bout the Telluride Teddies, Lincoln Lust or Manassas Fuzzy Manacles???!!! Now that’s sexy, Sports-fans!!!

As this year’s World Cup competition raged, the United Arab Emirates General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endorsements issued a fatwa against vuvuzelas if they exceeded 100 decibels. In a related move, the Weber Kid has recently issued a no-strings fatwa against the Buckeyes and Red Raiders!

A post-election press release by Ole Missed noted percentages of votes received by each of the proposed new mascots for the school. The math added up to 160%. Is it any wonder the Rebels lead the conference in penalties for 12-men-on-the-field??!!!!

During summer training camp, Rebels’ freshman QB Caleb Herring was forced to lie on the ground holding up a big daisy for several minutes as teammates continued drills around him after the young player held the ball too long. Coach Hauck no doubt had himself a whole flower-bed full of players following back-to-back road defeats by a combined 92-20!!!

JoePa wants to solve the concussion problem by removing facemasks from helmets. Oh sure....head trauma injuries go down...but incidents of Three Stooges-like eye-poking in the trenches go off the charts! (Repeat after Vindy... ”Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-DOINK!”)

Thru a TV feature known as “Red Zone”, local area COX Cable viewers can now keep tabs on as many as eight concurrent NFL games and get full-screen coverage when any team reaches the opponent’s red zone. Likewise, Vindy is working with the cable company and the NCAA to allow full-screen coverage anytime your prestigious prognosticator gets within mere moments of securing a forecast win!

We’ve been bashing teams that wreak weekly havoc on the forecast in our Shoppe Talk segment, but for inquiring minds that wanna’ know, the following clubs are in the early running for “Weber-Friendly” post-season accolades: Boise State (5-0-1), South Carolina (4-0) and Utah (4-2, on 4-0 run).

Black Shirt: The coveted cloth is on its way to Gators’ punter and reserve kicker Chas Henry for missing a 42-yarder with 4 seconds left that locked in our Mississippi State upset pick.

“Locked in a Box?”: “Aim High” became San Diego State’s first Top 25 victim in 14 seasons to lower the lock tally to 3-4 (.428).

Shoppe Talk: Vindicator throws some burgers on the grill as the ‘Horns fall to 1-5 (.167) in six forecast appearances. And as inferred above, Ohio State falls to 2-4 (5-15 over 2 ½ seasons) and we continue to have “guns up” our various bodily orifices as Texas Tech goes to 0-2 on the year and 3-15-1 of late!!!!

Vindy’s Week 8 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 12-20 (.375)
Kansas State +6 ½ over BAYLOR, SAN JOSE STATE +20 over Fresno State, Indiana +13 ½ over ILLINOIS, Western Kentucky +6 ½ over LOUISIANA, Texas Tech -2 ½ (GASP!) over COLORADO

1 comment:

misterreereeder said...

This has definitely been some kind of season. Seven weeks worth of surprises and more to come. And i am not just talking about college football because I look forward to your forecasts to.