Thursday, January 08, 2015

Vindy's Picks 2014-15 National Championship Prediction

MC LEAN, Virginia (Reuters)…The M&Ms gimmick package, known as the “touchdown mix”, showcasing the traditional M-symbol surrounded by footballs, goal-posts and helmets, and can be customized to show logos and names of 32 NFL teams, became so popular that fans have petitioned the company into doing something similar for college hoops. The candy giant is planning a “free-throw mix”, featuring basketballs, backboards and three-point arcs, including a special 2015 NCAA Tournament edition. While employees are currently developing proto-types of the candy bearing emblems of all 351 Division I-A men’s basketball squads, the real challenge comes on Selection Sunday. Staff will be on standby as the brackets are announced to add teams’ respective seeds for the 68 clubs that make it, then separate those into the special limited-time only bags, because after-all, the “M’s” in M&Ms actually stand for “March Madness”!

                                                    (Featuring some science and a little…Kentucky windage!)
#3 Oregon (-6 ½) over #5 Ohio State (75): Under the now-defunct Bowl Concubine Series, Da’ Seminoles, as the only regular-season undefeated Power Five conference team would likely be facing one-loss ‘Bama for the crown, while the Ducks and Buckeyes would’ve already played in the Rose Bowl. But both the Tide and FSU have been dismissed. Buckeyes carryin’ the banner fer the Big Tempura, but a State victory would change the conference moniker to Bling Ten! Somewhere in da’ City of Brotherly Love, former Drakes coach Chip Kelly is smiling at the success of a program he helped to become prominent. Ducks continue to go fer two on opening TDs, which makes us crazy and shouts “arrogance” (or what the talkin’ heads call “swagger”!). From a more objective view, it says “if we’re successful, pressure’s on you and even if we fail on the two-point conversion, we also have enough belief in our team that we’ll still out-score yer a$$!” History doesn’t favor either side, as collectively, the two contestants have failed to secure a victory in their last three combined trips to the title match (Buckeyes lost following the 2006 and 2007 campaigns by double-digits, while Oregon lost 22-19 to Auburn after the 2010 season). Both also represent their conference’s most-recent opportunity to win it all. We’re just happy we ain’t watchin’ yet-another game for the whole enchilada includin’ one or more SEC teams! Shaun King of Yahoo Sports said following State’s defeat of Alabama…”Urban Meyer pulled a rabbit out of his hat.” We’re not convinced that a hat was the location from which Coach extracted said-bunny. In fact, we think Meyer is fresh outta’ hares and headgear! A 3rd-string QB, who’s done naught but led his squad past Wisconsin and the Tide, takes on Oregon’s Heisman-winner. Ducks will have to slow OSU’s running-threat and carry-on the “bend-but-don’t-break” philosophy on D. Buckeyes need to avoid penalties and burn clock. Jones has to continue just managing the game as he has been (4 passing TDs, 1 INT, no lost fumbles, 70% completion rate vs. Wisconsin, 51% vs. ‘Bama). Money comin’ in hot on the “over” (opened 71 ½, now 75), though 4 of the last 6 went “under” the total and just 2 of the last 12 have equaled or exceeded this number. In fact, the other 10 weren’t even in grenade-range of this total. Two of the last 4 were decided by 3 points, while 6 of the last 8 were decided by double-digits. Title game favorites have won 6 of the last 7, covering 5 of ‘em. We seriously wanna’ go with our conference-allegiance and let the B1G 10 freak-flag fly, but…Donald & Friends 43 Brutus 31

BTW, rumor has it MARS, the parent-company of M&Ms, plans to take a page from the old 1970’s and 1980’s trading-card marketing strategy by implementing foil-embossed and hologram “chase” pieces with images of players, coaches and cheerleaders as collectors’ items. In addition, each piece will contain part of a scene on the backside and will form a picture of The Partridge Family’s David Cassidy if ya line ‘em up altogether right! Collect ‘em all!!!
Asked about his prediction for the big game, Sir Mix-A-Lot said…“I like..big…ducks and I cannot liiiiie… baaaaaby… got… quaaaaaack!”

Nebraska was one of the few bright spots for us since bowl season began, almost upsetting USC in the Nazgul University Holiday Bowl!
The Florida State band played Beyonce’s “Single-Ladies” at halftime of da’ Rose Bowl. ‘Noles were down just five at the break, but it was “all da’ Seminole ladies” that took the field in the second half! And State liked it so much, they put a bathtub ring on it!!!

Happy Nude Year?! Given the success of 2014’s Discovery Channel’s “Naked and Afraid”, TLC’s “Buying Naked”, VH1’s “Dating Naked”….in 2015, Vindy’s gonna’ debut …“Pickin’ Nekkid”!
On the big-screen, or at least on Netflix and pay TV,…(for a limited-audience only)…the CIA enlists a couple of idiots to pick-off a pass by Kim Jong Un in…“The Interceptionview!”…

In the days leading up to Christmas, a man claiming to be Kris Kringle worked the sportsbook at the Westgate Las Vegas casino resort, formerly the LVH (AKA Las Vegas Hilton), but directed bettors to other casinos if they had a better line, saying it was all about winning enough money to get the presents that made the kids happy! Impact was so great, Westgate, subsequently known as “da’ sportsbook with a heart”, seriously-increased its patronage! The Santa-wannabe (might-be???!!!)  even spoke Dutch to re-route a tourist from Holland who spoke no English to a more-beneficial casino!
BTW when Vindy thought about you, he touched his elf!

Tune-in one last time a couple days following completion of the National Title game for our final Bowl Recap and leftover “hash”!


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