RUSSIANS
PLAN TO “INVADE” NCAA POSTSEASON EVENT (HOME ALONE PIC)
PASADENA,
California (ITAR-Tass)…Following the successful appearance
of its inflatable tanks, jets and mobile missile-launch systems, which
Moscow-insiders claim help keep foreign governments
and intelligence agencies guessing about the true quantity and capability of
its aging arsenal, in this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, which
President Vladimir Putin’s propaganda-machine hailed as a “show-of-force on
American soil”, just in front of Santa’s traditional arrival at Herald Square, Russia
will enter a similarly-designed float in the 2017 Tournament of Roses parade
ahead of the USC-Penn State gridiron-clash in the 103rd Rose Bowl. Currently,
the Soviet float-committee is working feverishly with FTS to acquire enough of
the required-floral material to create the participant-platform in time.
Basking in the correct double-pick of Army +6 over
Navy and “under 47” last week and little left to lose facing a 118-124-5 (.487)
deficit on the season, we’re pickin’ to
the whistle, with…
THE
WEBER KID’S 2016-17 BOWL PREDICTIONS (PART I)
(The
preferred forecast of Russian hackers)
DEC.
17
GILDAN
NEW MEXICO BOWL (@ Albuquerque, NM)
Texas-San
Antonio (+7) over NEW MEXICO: Lobos, who needed minor
upset of Wyoming to end the regular-season to get here after losing 3 of first
4 this year outright, including road-defeats at New Mexico State and Rutgers,
but going 5-1 in Albuquerque, play second bowl since 2007 and 4th
straight in their own backyard. UNM boasts best rushing game in the nation,
exceeding even Army and Navy. We think
Roadrunners would be competitive against all of New Mexico’s home-opponents
except maybe Boise State (Lobos’ lone loss). UTSA posted 6 wins, including a
pretty good Middle Tennessee State squad and lost by just 13 at Texas A&M.
San Antone’s rush-defense ain’t bad
at #48 in the country, allowing 157.8 yards per game, 4 yards per carry and
just 18 touchdowns. Host-team shows just a pair of wins by more than 7…Wolves 38
Beep-Beep 34
LAS
VEGAS BOWL PRESENTED BY GEICO (@ Las Vegas, NV)
Houston
vs. San Diego State (“over 54”): Minus 16-point outing
at SMU, Houston’s offense has been potent, while the Coogs also gave up a
lotta’ points away from home. Aztecs lit it up too all season (17-3 win at Fresno
too notwithstanding). Sudzu’s defense was stout most of the year, but allowed a
combined 97 to Colorado State and Wyoming in late November, as well as 42 at
South Alabama earlier. Houston can post back-to-back double-digit SU wins
seasons by taking this…Cougars 37 State 34
RAYCOM
MEDIA CAMELLIA BOWL (@ Montgomery, AL)
Toledo
(PK) over Appalachian State: Mudhens’ only defeats
came to the two teams that played for the MAC Championship. Sing it with us, Elton John-fans…”She
packed my baaaags last niiiight…pre-flight” 27 App State 24
AUTONATION
CURE BOWL (@Orlando, FL)
Arkansas
State (+5) over Central Florida: UPSET PICK OF DA’ BOWLS #1. Home-town,
but not home-field advantage for da’ Knights, who went winless in 2015,
limp-in after consecutive two-TD losses to Tulsa and South Florida. Red Wolves
opened the year putting four straight in the “L” column, but tore-up the Fun
Belt, going 7-1. On paper, it’s pretty-much even.
If ASU can win the turnover-battle, they can carry out the hardware. In any
case, we’ll take points…Arkansas State 28 UCF 24
R+L
CARRIERS NEW ORLEANS BOWL (@ New Orleans, LA) (Superdome)
UL-Lafayette
(+4 ½) over Southern Miss: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ “WEEK”. Phil
Steele’s preseason choice to win the CUSA West fell short. Golden Iggles
bookended sweet victories at Kentucky and against Louisiana Teck around 4-6 SU
campaign. Ragin’ Cajuns garnered respect from Phil Steele, claiming #3
most-improved team in his preseason-mag ratings. Fifth straight appearance the
Nawlins’ Bowl for Laugh-At-Us…whose won and covered the entire quad to-date…UL-Lafayette
31 Sudden Mist 23
DEC.
19
MIAMI
BEACH BOWL (@ Miami, FL)
Central
Michigan (+11 ½) over Tulsa: Golden Wave 34 CMU 24
DEC.
20
BOCA
RATON BOWL (@ FAU Stadium, Boca Raton, FL)
Western
Kentucky (-5) over Memphis: ‘Toppers’ D in most
cases is serviceable. Western Kentucky hasn’t dented the board for less than
fitty since late-September near-miss vs. Vandy. Tigers, who upset Houston in
regular-season finale, have yielded 42 or more five times…WKU 49 Memphis 34
DEC.
21
SAN
DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA BOWL (@ San Diego, CA)
Wyoming
(+8 ½) over Brigham Young: We’ve stood behind the Cowboys most
of the season. Not gonna’ stop now. Mormons entered the year having lost four
straight neutral-site contests and did little to help that number, splitting
games vs. Arizona and West Virginia on common-ground. BYU has been staunch on
defense, going 7-4 “under”. Cougars haven’t bested their bowl-opponents or the
line in each of the last three years. Wyoming has sent 10 games “over” this
total and is 6-1 ATS as the ‘dog, winning five outright…BYU 26 Wyoming 21
DEC.
22
FAMOUS
IDAHO POTATO BOWL (@ Boise, ID)
Idaho
(+13 ½) over Colorado State: LOCK OF DA’ “WEEK”. Vandals
have one more season after this one before takin’ it down a level and now they
come to play? First post-season opportunity for Idaho since 2009 and second
since 1998??!! We note that at 8-4 outright, Spuds recorded just 2-2 SU/1-2 ATS
in non-Sun Belt play, but losses came in consecutive outings at CFP-contestant
UDUB and Wazzou. Rams beat no one special until surprisingly-knocking-off New
Mexico and San Diego State to finish out the slate. Only caveat on this pick is
Idaho’s 21-point loss vs. Troy, but it came after tight 3-point road -win at
UNLV…CSU 42 Idaho 34
DEC.
23
POPEYES
BAHAMAS BOWL (@ NASSAU, Bahamas)
Old
Dominion (-4) over Eastern Michigan: Virtually no bowl game experience in this
match-up. ODU makes inaugural bowl since joining FBS. Iggles see first
post-season berth in damn-near half-a-century (last showing up in 1987 California
Bowl). Eight-win Panthers entered season covering just once in eight
non-conference tries and did nothing to reverse that trend, going 1-2 ATS in
other-than-CUSA-play in 2016 and come in off puzzling two-score loss to Florida
International in finale, but…Old Denomination 34 EMU 27
LOCKHEED
MARTIN ARMED FORCES BOWL (@ Ft. Worth, TX)
Louisiana
Tech vs. Navy (“over 66”): With Middies QB Will Worth in da’
line-up, this woulda’ been an easy
“over”. Without him, it’s just a tad-bit more in doubt and Zack Abey won’t get
any more prep than the usual week since Middies played Army last Saturday.
Nonetheless, Ensigns have advantage in their opponents’ relative-unfamiliarity
with the option, with LT last facing Army in early 2013. In addition, even with
Worth under center, Navy’s ground-game wasn’t grinding-out low-scoring wins vs.
the more high-powered offenses they faced. Meanwhile, Bulldogs are not anywhere
near the same defensive-mindset as Temple or Army. In da’ broadcast-booth of
the Army-Navy classic, the Donald quipped …“I don’t know if it is necessarily the
best football…”. Accurate or not,
gotta’ figure that quote’s been
plastered all over da’ Sailors’ (and
Soldiers’) bulletin-board since loss to Army. Boat People’s 3-0 SUATS tally
in past three years’ bowls prohibits us from making LT -3 ½ the official
selection… Weeziana Tech 41 Swabbies 34
DOLLAR
GENERAL BOWL (@ Mobile, AL)
Troy
(-3 ½) over Ohio: Best guess for “wish we had it back”. Despite a 35-3 loss mid-November
home-defeat by streaking-Arkansas State club, we like Troy’s 6-point road loss
at now-CFP #2-seed Clemson over Bobblecats’ 9-point road-loss at now-AP Poll
vote-less Tennessee and 6-point defeat by Western Michigan in MAC Title game because
season-opening 3OT 56-54 boo-boo vs. Texas State to start the year still haunts
us (and hey, a couple of faves have to come through, right??!!!).
Game-contestants get 15 minutes to wander through said-sponsor’s brick-and-mortar
and grab everything they want off the shelves as bowl-swag!…Troy 24 Ohio U. 19
DEC.
24
HAWAI’I
BOWL (@ Honolulu, HI)
Middle
Tennessee State @ HAWAI’I: OFF (Taking a few liberties with a ring-side
sequence from Rocky IV…Rocky: ”I see three of ‘em out there”. Paully…”Hit da’ one in da’ Middle Tennessee State”.)
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
BTW, U.S. military forces will ensure local
parade-goers, as well as fans of both
teams will be armed with spray-bottles of bleach or salt & vinegar in the
event the float-in-question becomes a threat to national security! Meanwhile,
classified intel indicates the former USSR will try to infiltrate the Grand-Marshal
spot, attempting to replace Olympic gold-medalist swimmer Janet Evans with…Anna
Kournikova!
Given injuries to starting and back-up players at
the position, Vindicator has battled TE Trey Burton all week for the right to
be the long-snapper for the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday at Baltimore! Coach Pederson said it’ll be a game-time
decision!
With all-apologies to LifeLock…”Vindy’s not a handicapper. He’s a handicap-monitor. He only alerts sports-gamblers
when there’s a point-spread…’There’s
a point-spread.’”
Seven
turnovers in an Army-Navy game? Surprising. What’s not
surprising?...How much money Vindy
saved by switchin’ to GEICO.
Just after the 2016 New Year, North Korea issued a statement saying it “could wipe out Manhattan”. The
Jaspers hoops team quickly responded, saying “Bring it on!”
Black
Shirt: Goes to Army QB Ahmad Bradshaw, whose three
turnovers killed an equal number of Cadets’ drives and led to only seven Navy-points,
helping keep the final score under 47.
Vindy’s
Bowl Predictions Part I Best Bets: Last
Week: 0-0 Season: 37-39 (.487)
Texas-San Antonio-NEW MEXICO “over 62 ½”, Southern
Mist-UL-Lafayette “under 58”, Idaho-Colorado State “over 64 ½”, Troy-Ohio “under
48 ½”.
No comments:
Post a Comment