Vindy's Picks Week 10-2006 Wednesday Nighter

WED. NOV. 1
Fresno State over #14 BOISE STATE taking 26 1/2: Broncos are 3-1 ATS in their last 4 and have revenge factor for ‘05 27-7 loss to the Bulldogs. Don’t know what happened this season to "anybody, anywhere, anytime", but they’re lookin’ more like Team "Henny Youngman". If defending WAC champ Fresno has any pride and any motivation left at all, it shows up now... BSU 45 Fresno 23

Stay tuned to this spot for the rest of Week Ten's prognostications in it's entirety in it's usual Wednesday night spot!

Vindy's Picks Week 9-2006

DUCKS INSPIRE WAL-MART TO LOSE THE "BLUES"

EUGENE, Oregon (MSNBC)...Discount retail giant Wal-Mart announced this week it was putting its traditional blue vests in mothballs and its employees will now be sporting any of a number of combinations of green polo shirts and khaki pants. Consulting the local university sports uniform designer, Wal-Mart will retire its old look in favor of a more modern image that would reportedly meet with the approval of late Wal-Mart founder, Sam Walton. "Sam was a big fan." said one spokesperson. Combinations will include home-store colors, specific combinations for visiting other Wal-Mart outlets, even special designs for Super Wal-Marts and for visiting competitors’ retail shops! Company representatives noted the blue unis will be brought out periodically to commemorate anniversaries and other events with "Throw-Back Vest" Day. Options with or without the yellow Smiley Face add even more possible attire combinations to the arsenal. Higher-ups are also gradually replacing its familiar catch-phrase "How may I help you?" with "What up, Dawg?!" on the back of the shirts. CEO Lee Scott stated "Wally World is changing with the times" and is about to "get its Oregon on"!

Our fearless forecaster posted his second straight 12-7-1 outing for Week 8 to finally reach the Mendoza Line at 72-72-5 (.500) and tries to get back in black with....

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 9 FORECAST

THURS. OCT. 26
#10 Clemson over VIRGINIA TECH giving 4: For most teams, Blacksburg,, especially this time of year, is an intimidating venue to play in. Tigers, however, seem to be right comfortable, winning 7 of last 10 here. Hokies are 9-4 ATS in their last 13 at home games...Clemson 17 Tech 10

SAT. OCT. 28
#1 OHIO STATE over Minnesota giving 27: Gophers won 10-9 over North Dakota State???????!!!! Gerbils had only 4 penalties, yielded only a pair of sacks and did not turn the ball over. They did miss two FGs and the game ended with NDSU driving deep into Minny territory. Only the Chippewas cover the number this year better than the Buckeyes ...OSU 45 Gophers 13

Northwestern over #2 MICHIGAN taking 34: The lines-makers just might be catching up to Big Blue again following a five-game ATS tear. Wolverines haven’t posted a spread loss since September 9th and are laying their biggest number of the season. Wildcats haven’t been shutout all year and it could happen in this spot. Then again... Michigan 35 NW 9

OREGON STATE over #3 Southern Cal taking 12 1/2: Troy’s last three victories have been by 6, 7 and 6 en route to a four-game ATS loss streak against PAC-10 foes. Did Matt Leinart’s dad finally stop paying for Dwayne Jarrett’s apartment or what?...USC 23 Beavers 16

#4 West Virginia: IDLE (next @ Louisville 11/2)

#5 Texas over TEXAS TECH giving 12: Maybe the long scoring passes of 63- and 49-yards by Nebraska last week give the Raiders hope. Tech has been crushed in three of the last five vs. the ‘Horns, including the ‘04 and ‘05 tilts... Steers 35 Tech 17

#6 Louisville: IDLE (next vs. West Virginia 11/2)

MISSISSIPPI over #7 Auburn taking 18: Since being derided by Vindicator for an ATS losing streak dating back to last season, Ol’ Missed has ripped off three straight covers while beating Vandy and nearly overturning Joja’ and ‘Bama. UM, however, looked like same old Rebels last week. Tigers are only .500 vs. the line. A not-real-comfortable vote to....Auburn 24 Mississippi 12

SOUTH CAROLINA over #8 Tennessee taking 5: If Spurrier’s Gamecocks are going to jump up and bite somebody important this season, this is the spot. Vols are short their leading rusher...South Carolina 23 Rocky Top 20

Georgia over #9 Florida (at Jacksonville) taking 14: Forget the ‘Dawgs’ loss to the Commodores. Joja’ can tie the Gators for top spot in the SEC East with a win. Florida should’ve lost at Tennessee and the remaining conference victories came at the Swamp...Florida 17 UGA 13

NAVY over #11 Notre Dame taking 14: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Vindicator ignores 34-0 whitewash of the Middies two weeks ago by Rutgers. Boat People cover about 75% against the Irish, including 4 of last 5. Here’s hopin’ Navy snares its first outright triumph in 43 tries against the Catholics...Ensigns 24 Golden Domers 23

#12 California: IDLE (next vs. UCLA)

#13 ARKANSAS over Louisiana-Monroe giving 37: Warhawks are playing respectably (albeit in losing efforts) against fellow Sun Belt competitors, but just find something else to watch if this one gets televised (maybe there’s even something better than this on ABC! [See Between the Hashmarks later in this forecast])...Razorbacks 48 UL-M 7

#14 LSU: IDLE (next @ Tennessee)

#15 Boise State: IDLE (next vs. Fresno State 11/1)

#17 WISCONSIN over Illinois giving 21: Voters in Panama just approved a widening of the canal locks to allow bigger ships to pass through by 2015. Maybe the Illini can pass a similar plan for its offensive line...Badgers 27 Illinois 0

Buffalo over #18 BOSTON COLLEGE taking 36: The Bulls caught Auburn in a sandwich spot too earlier this season and covered. We like ‘em to do that with the Eagles between last week’s FSU tilt and trip to Wake Forest on deck...BC 34 Buffalo 7

#19 Oklahoma over #23 MISSOURI taking 2 ½: If ya don’t count Red River "neutral site" game, this is only the second road trip of the year for the Sooners. The subs seem to be filling in adequately for lost OK stars. Mizzou gave up 10 more points to Colorado than Sooners did...Oklahoma 24 MU 23

#20 Nebraska over OKLAHOMA STATE giving 5 ½: Vindy was a big Cowpoke backer early in the season. State hasn’t shown a tendency to win the close ones of late though. Expect a flat Big Red squad to sleepwalk thru the first half, then put the Cowboys away in the final 30 minutes...Nebraska 23 OKSU 7

#21 GEORGIA TECH over Miami giving 6: A Pennsylvania high school student was mocked by a teacher who made him take his midterm exam on the classroom floor for wearing a John Elway jersey. Vindicator can think of a few jerseys truly worthy of humiliation, like Ron Artest, Lawrence Phillips, Maurice Clarett, John Rocker and... if Weber had his own jersey, well.....! Oh....and...uh...any shirt from this year’s The U....Bees 27 Hurri-Cons 16

BAYLOR over #22 Texas A&M taking 4 1/2: Oh!...did the Aggies finally decide to try to save Coach Fran’s job???!! A&M has been living on the edge and has burned Vindy in both of two chances in the picks. Turnovers forced the Bears to rally from 17-point halftime hole vs. Kansas...Bayluh 28 Aggies 24

#24 Wake Forest over NORTH CAROLINA giving 9: This pick got serious "lock" consideration. With Weeziana Tech, Fresno, Marshall and San Diego State finally picking up their first ATS wins last weekend, the only squad without a cover thus far is...North Carolina! Ain’t happenin’ this Saturday either!...Deacons 23 Tarheels 7

Portland State @ #25 OREGON: No line.

SUN. OCT. 29
#16 RUTGERS over Connecticut giving 18 ½: Huskies only two covers came via straight-up wins over Indiana and Army. Staying with hot New Brunswick Bombers...Rutgers 33 UConn 10

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

The North Dakota State Bison’s 6-1 record, by the way, is good for THIRD PLACE in the I-AA Great West Conference!

Charged with attempted murder, former Northern Colorado back-up punter Mitchell Cozad was released this week on $500,000 bail. Cozad initially thought he’d be unable to come up with that kinda’ moola and offered up his personal protector as collateral. He later told the judge he changed his mind and would "take a stab at raising the money!" His lawyer unsuccessfully argued Cozad was not a flight risk due to having mob ties to the community!

This summer, Randy Moss became VP of Marketing of a fruit juice/smoothies company. Vin has a few flavor suggestions for the menu..."Top Banana", "Sour Grapes", "Melon Head" and "Malcontent Mango". Just give this PSU alum a "Peachy Paterno" from the Penn State Creamery, okay????!!!!

A local Sin City writer recently lamented the essential wussification of ABC programming, noting such unmanly shows as Dancing With the Stars, Wife Swap (sorry...it ain’t about that!) and Alias. Vindy has six words to put the All Boys Channel back in ABC..."End Zone Dancing with the Stars!"

Just in time for the World Series....a new game show: "Steal or No Steal"- contestants decide whether or not to swipe bases, possibly containing lotsa’ cash, up to $1M!

"Locked in a Box?": The ‘Eers bring home Vindicator’s 5th lock win against 3 losses with a good cover over UConn.

Shoppe Talk: The Irish are back at 1-6. The Decoys make the Shoppe menu with 5 losses in last 6 appearances... and the Sooners better circle da’ wagons at 1-5-1!

Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-3 Season: 18-19-1 (.486)
Arkansas State -8 over FLORIDA ATLANTIC, Idaho +25 over HAWAII, Washington State +1 over UCLA, Eastern Michigan +15 ½ over WESTERN MICHIGAN, Tulane -5 over ARMY

Vindy's Picks Week 8-2006

COLLEGE PIGSKIN GETS TEACHER TOSSED

FRISCO, Texas (ITAR-Tass)...A fifth-grade teacher was benched for the rest of the academic year here by the local school district recently over a art museum field trip gone awry. Sydney McGee got the boot because her students were exposed to nude portraits while visiting the Dallas Museum of Art. The curator said he told McGee during coordination of the excursion, there would be "nudes on display". The teacher said she heard the museum representative say there would be "Utes on display". McGee claimed she thought it was "a little odd that Picasso works featuring players from Provo would make their way into Horned Toads territory", but admitted she "fantasized about possibly winning a National Teachers Association award or even a Nobel Peace Prize in education for expanding her students’ cultural horizons" during the outing. The exiled educator audibly mused to herself before leaving the interview, "Gee, those football players sure look different without their clothes on."

After a couple sub-par efforts, Vindicator "manned up", got two Thursday night forecast wins and went on to post a 12-7-1 Week Seven, bringing the season numbers to 60-65-4 (.480).

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 8 FORECAST

FRI. OCT. 20
#4 West Virginia over UCONN giving 22: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. A slow start and an improving Syracuse defense cost the Mounties last week’s cover. In light of recent wins for Indiana, UConn’s early season triumph over the Hoosiers looks more impressive than it really is...’Eers 45 Huskies 16

SAT. OCT. 21
#1 OHIO STATE over Indiana giving 31 1/2: Yeah, OK...Indy’s strung together consecutive Big Ten victories. Just can’t get by that loss to I-AA Southern Illinois a couple weeks back though. Buckeyes haven’t broken into the 40's yet. They will here...OSU 47 Indiana 9

#2 MICHIGAN over Iowa giving 13: Wolverines continue to chug slowly-but-steadily toward showdown with Ohio State. Hawkeyes’ season is quickly coming apart, with two losses in last three games...Big Blue 30 Iowa 13

#3 USC: IDLE (next @ Oregon State)

#17 NEBRASKA over #5 Texas taking 6 ½: Yeah, yeah, yeah....the Longhorns-Sooners game was supposed to be close too! The defenses on both sides have been pushed around a bit in bigger games against the better foes on their respective schedules. We like that trend to continue...Nebraska 29 Texas 27

SYRACUSE over #6 Louisville taking 17: For a few fleeting moments, the Weber Kid contemplated an upset here. If Vindy was coaching Louisville, he probably wouldn’t have risked bringing starting QB Brohm back as early as last week from injury with his replacement playing well enough to keep the Redbirds undefeated. Maybe a couple tilts at game-speed before West Virginia will be beneficial (unless he re-injures the knee!)...Louisville 31 ‘Cuse 24

Alabama over #7 TENNESSEE taking 11 1/2: UPSET OF DA’ WEEK. Vin couldn’t pull the upset trigger just one pick prior, but does so here. Tide’s 2-0 ATS on the road and was a dog in both instances. Wonder if the trash-talk about illegal recruiting practices will start up again like it did this time last season...’Bama 19 UT 17

#8 AUBURN over Tulane giving 32: Last week’s 27-17 over Florida is deceiving as the game was not nearly close with the Tigers running roughshod over the Gators. Aubie just might be the Denver Broncos East, having scored no offensive touchdowns in its last eleven quarters....Auburn 48 Wave 10

#9 Florida: IDLE (next vs. Joja’)

#10 NOTRE DAME over Ucla giving 13 1/2: Vindy hasn’t been this excited since George Bush gave German Chancellor Angela Merkel a spur-of-da’-moment back-rub that found its way on video to the Internet! Bruins are 1-3 in last 4 ATS. Irish not much better at 3-3, but had a week off...Leprechauns 34 UCLA 17

#11 CAL over Washington giving 23: Huskies were plus-3 in turnover ratio and still lost by 10 to the Beavers...AT HOME!...Bears 44 UDumb 17

#13 Georgia Tech over #12 CLEMSON taking 8: Bees got an extra week to prepare while Clemson might get conservative with trip to Virginia Tech a mere five days following this game. Tigers only spread loss came in OT defeat by Boston College...Clemson 28 Joja’ Tech 24

#14 LSU over Fresno State giving 32: Despite a preseason vote from Vindy to take the WAC title again, this year’s version of the Bulldogs certainly hasn’t panned out any better than previous LSU victims Kentucky and Mississippi State...Bengals 45 Fresno 9

#15 ARKANSAS over Mississippi giving 17: Rebels have certainly awakened as of late. Sooey Pigs however have got an even-better rushing game than the one Wake Forest used to whack Ol’ Miss 27-3...’Backs 31 Mississippi 6

#16 Oregon over WASHINGTON STATE giving 4: Both sides will air out frequently. Decoys can defend the pass as well and have a decent edge on the ground...Ducks 34 Coogs 24

IDAHO over #18 Boise State taking 20 1/2: Dennis Erickson might just have enough up his sleeve to make this interesting at home as the Vandals march toward bowl-eligibility with two more wins and first possible post-season berth since 1998....Broncos 35 Idaho 24

#19 Rutgers over PITT taking 6: Knights won it last year and are a hot team right now. Rutgers sports the top pass D in the Big East and 4th best air defense nationally...The Garden State 23 The Keystone State 20

Colorado over #20 OKLAHOMA taking 12 ½: Sooners now down not only a starting quarterback, but also a Heisman Trophy-candidate starting running back. Loss of Adrian Peterson might force Okies to throw more than they’d like here. Bison are sluggish on offense, averaging less than 16 ppg, but the D grabbed three picks last week to smoke Texas Tech...OK 24 Buffaloes 13

#21 Wisconsin over PURDUE giving 4 ½: Badger band is on probation for hazing that involved alcohol and dancing in various states of undress during the bus ride from the Michigan game. If the band suspensions keep up at this pace, the halftime shows will consist of recorded music blaring from boom boxes atop remote-control cars doing choreographed moves up-and-down the field! Still ridin’ Wisky...Badgers 27 Boilers 13

#22 Boston College over FLORIDA STATE taking 5: The Injuns just seem unfocused. Even their 27-point win at Duke was sloppy at best, particularly on special teams. Eagles outright at Doak Campbell...BC 27 FSU 24

OKLAHOMA STATE over #23 Texas A&M giving 2: Cowpokes are 10th in the country in total offense (admittedly, the numbers were bolstered by a weak early schedule). Aggies beat Missouri with three Tigers fumbles...Okie State 34 A&M 27

#24 MISSOURI over Kansas State giving 16 ½: Wildcats will pay the price for aforementioned mistakes by Mizzou...Missouri 34 K-State 10

#25 Wake Forest: IDLE (next @ North Carolina)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Stanford’s getting so desperate for a win, it’s considering trading a missile that works to North Korea for the chance to play the University of Pyongpang! In a related story, coaches at Temple held a news conference recently to announce they’d tested an underground nuke beneath the Philadelphia Museum of Art to make someone in the NCAA take them seriously (or to at least get Sly Stallone to come attend a game!)

Vindicator went to a boxing match this week in Coral Gables....and a football game broke out!

Ugly stat of da’ week: Arizona held Stanford to minus -6 yards rushing on 19 carries....but Michigan held the Nitwit Lions to minus-14 yards on 25 carries!

!!@*%#@!!! Orange kicked a meaningless FG down by 27 with just over 3 minutes left to get the cover and go to 6-1 ATS (and post a forecast "L" for Vindicator!).

Owens’ books part II: More future drivel from T.O...."Broken Thumbelina", "Gulliver’s Road Games", "Alice Never Got Thrown Enough Passes in Wonderland’s Red Zone Either", "The Tarheel Baby", "Little T. and the Three Chicago Bears", "Booty & the Beast of the East" and "Winnie the Pooh & the Blustery Day That Cost Little T. Several Pass Receptions!" (By the way, gangster-rapper-turned-actor-entrepreneur Snoop Dogg will also see his children’s books hit the bookshelves this month. Can’t wait for "Little Huggy Bear Busts a Cap in Little T’s Ass.")

"Locked in a Box?": At 4-3, Vindicator swears off selecting the same "lock" team in consecutive weeks! The Weber Kid has done so twice this season (Nebraska and Mizzou) and paid the consequences both times!

Shoppe Talk: Those Florida Gators return after a loss to Auburn gives them 4 forecast losses in their last 5 tries!

Vindy’s Week 8 Best Bets: Last Week: 1–3-1 Season: 15-16-1 (.483)
BYU -28 ½ over Unlv, BAYLOR -3 ½ over Kansas, ARIZONA STATE -22 1/2 over Stanford, Texas El-Paso +6 over HOUSTON, Air Force -14 over SAN DIEGO STATE, ARKANSAS STATE -7 over North Texas

Vindy's Picks Week 7-2006

SCANDALS IMPACT RANKINGS
Buckeyes, Gators Title Game Hopes in Deep Kimchee

GAINESVILLE, Florida (UPI)...Recently-revealed political indiscretions seem to have bled over into the world of college football. A poll conducted this week by AP-Ipsos indicates BCS voters are allowing party issues to affect their ballots for the NCAA Top 25. Specifically, teams in states currently held by Republicans are feeling the backlash of such events as explicit e-mails by Republican representative Mark Foley and a coin-collection stealing snafu by a GOP fund-raiser in Ohio. Bowl Championship Series poll voters are deciding teams in the blue states are simply the lesser of two evils and supporting teams such as Rutgers at the expense of clubs from red states, such as Florida and Ohio State. When it’s all said and done, the BCS bowl match-ups could ultimately reflect political lines rather than win-loss records and power ratings! Coaches of red-state teams with clout and alumni support are asking for help digging up those dirty little Democrat secrets!

Following an 8-10 Week Six (48-58-3, .453 season), our putrid prophet belts down one of those "protein shakes" that reportedly helped 76-year-old televangelist Pat Robertson leg-press 2000 pounds and displays....

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 7 FORECAST
("Submitted for your approval...Just a first down away from... the Twilight Zone")

THURS. OCT. 12
#12 CLEMSON over Temple giving 44: Vindicator initially thought the Las Vegas Review Journal had printed the over/under without a spread when he saw the original 46-point line. The North Koreans claim to have tested a bomb equal to nearly 550 tons of dynamite...or approximately the amount of force the Tigers will rain down upon the Owls this week...Tigers 51 Owls 3

BOSTON COLLEGE over #22 Virginia Tech taking 2 1/2: Eagles lost a spot in the rankings and didn’t even play last week! They can’t be happy about that (but then, mere 22-0 win over Maine doesn’t inspire voters to say "Wow! We gotta’ rank these guys!"). Hokies have no quality wins. Eagles, who could easily be 2-3, found a way to topple Clemson and BYU in extra innings...BC 27 VT 24

SAT. OCT. 14
#1 Ohio State over MICHIGAN STATE giving 15: Vindy thanks Jim Tressel for calling off the dogs with over 12 minutes to play last week against Bowling Green, allowing the Falcons to cover. Are Spartans in traditional mid-season swoon? A couple of quick Buckeye scores and MSU will likely quit..Ohio State 38 MSU 16

#2 Florida over #11 AUBURN taking 2: As part of their "directed reading" independent study course, Tigers’ players must read and do a 10-page report on ..."Little T Learns to Share"...Gators 21 Auburn 17

Arizona State over #3 USC taking 19: Line seems to reflect margins of loss by the Devils rather than margins of win by Troy. SoCal has yet to cover the number in three conference tilts this season. Here’s hopin’ the off-week helps State regroup and runs Trojans’ ATS loss-streak to 4...USC 31 ASU 17

PENN STATE over #4 Michigan taking 7 : Anybody remember Coach Carr’s vehement complaining that put an extra 2 seconds on the clock in Ann Arbor that ultimately cost the Lions a perfect record last year?!!! The Lions sure as hell do! (So does this alum, who watched in horror with many of his fellow Nifty Lion alumni companions! ).... PSU 23 Michigan 21

#5 WEST VIRGINIA over Syracuse giving 25: Mounties are 3-1 against the line, but are also a 50-yard punt return for TD with just over a minute remaining at Mississippi State away from 2-2 ATS. However, Vindy notes WVU was sloppy, suffering 11 flags for 132 yards. Orange 5-1 ATS, but we’ll call it...’Eers 38 Orange 7

#6 TEXAS over Baylor giving 29: Investigation into the Mark Foley scandal has led to the public release of an e-mail from the former Florida representative to a teenage former page in Austin that states "Do I make you a little Longhorny, baby?!" Bears have been in most games to the end, covering 3 of 5...Texas 41 Bayluh 7

Cincinnati over #7 LOUISVILLE taking 26 ½: Cards still undefeated, but appear to have lost a little steam since losing the starting backfield in early September. Redbirds posted their first spread loss last week...Louisville 41 Cincinnati 22

#8 Tennessee: IDLE (next vs. Alabama)

#9 Notre Dame: IDLE (next vs. UCLA)

#10 California over WASHINGTON STATE giving 7 ½: No disrespect to improving Cougars, but 2 ½-point line move in favor of Wazzou looks like an overreaction to 6-point loss to USC. Vin reverts to statement from a couple weeks ago that Cal is still the second-best club in the PAC-10. With Auburn’s fall last Saturday, maybe nobody’s "safe", however...Bears 27 WSU 17

#13 Georgia Tech: IDLE (next @ Clemson)

#14 LSU over Kentucky giving 26 ½: Vindicator changed his mind from his initial selection here (rarely a good sign). Upon further review, Bengals only yielding 10 points per game, including matches against Auburn and Florida. They should break into the 40's here against traditionally-porous Wildcats’ defense...Tigers 48 KY 16

#15 Iowa over INDIANA giving 17 1/2: Vindy hopes Hawkeyes carry over some of that fury they unleashed on the Boilermakers...Iowa 44 Indy 16.

Vanderbilt over #16 GEORGIA taking 13: This match features two of the Weber Kid’s biggest Week Six disappointments. ‘Dawgs were up 27-24 over the Vols going into the 4th quarter, when they gave up two turnovers and 27 points! Joja’ needs to get angry...Bill Clinton angry...but won’t! This forecaster pooh-poohed the ‘Dores early when they lost Cutler to the draft. They’re hanging tough though...UGA 24 Admirals 17

SE Missouri State @ #17 ARKANSAS: No line.

#18 OREGON over Ucla giving 11: Due to malfunctions of the home PC, Vindicator was unable to view all of the available angles on this play and simply let the original call in the sportsbook stand after two minutes... Drakes 34 Bruins 21

#19 Missouri over TEXAS A&M giving 2 1/2: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. OK, Tigers have proven themselves worthy as contenders. Vindy ain’t impressed with Aggies four wins, that came over Citadel, UL-Laugh-At-Us, a horrible Weeziana Tech club and Army,,,Mizzou 34 A&M 17

#21 Nebraska over KANSAS STATE giving 10 ½: Nice job by the Purple Kitties to rebound from two-touchdown beating by Bayluh to overcome Oklahoma State. Big Red effectively kept Iowa State off the board after the first quarter, allowing only a meaningless score with :06 left in the game...Nebraska 31 K-State 14

Iowa State over #23 OKLAHOMA taking 19 ½: Other than vengeful mood leftover from sound thrashing by Texas, can’t believe Sooners will keep this many points between themselves and the Cyclones. (And because we said that, we like this as the best chance for "wish I had it back"!)...Okie-Doke 35 Dust Devils 19

NAVY over #24 Rutgers giving 1 1/2: Middies haven’t generally been spread-friendly on Homecoming. Tough pick though, with both sides playing well. This is probably the best rushing offense Knights have encountered this year...Navy 21 State Uni of NJ 17

#25 WISCONSIN over Minnesota giving 10: We’re putting a lot on the shoulders of the Badgers’ defense here to shut down Minny’s offense. Wisky is still sporting some of that emotion from Barry Alvarez’ retirement. Gophers went to OT before succumbing to Weber’s Lions... Cheese-heads 27 Gerbils 14

SUN. OCT. 15
NEW MEXICO STATE over #20 Boise State taking 25: Aggies have made for some entertaining football this year, scoring nearly 33 ppg and losing to both UTEP and New Mexico by only 6. Broncos posting 40 ppg. If NMSU can hold the Potato-Heads below half-a-century, they can cover...BSU 44 NMSU 27

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Vin takes a bow for calling back-to-back upsets by NC State, the exact Nebraska 28-14 over ISU score and a near exacta on Ohio State-Bowling Green with a 34-7 prediction (35-7 actual).
As previously noted, Terrell Owens has authored the children’s book, "Little T Learns to Share". Watch for these future classic publications from our wacky wideout: "Little T.O.D." (Thanks to college buddy and longtime friend, Andy Marchetto for that one.), Dr. Seuss-like "I Am Sham,; Sham, I Am". "Little T Takes the Training Wheels Off His Stationery Bike", "Little T. Gets a Big Owwie",and "Little T. and the Magic Bottle of Supplements". In related news, Owens pitched yet another fit that he ain’t the Cowboys go-to guy on "downer and distance"!

Last Spring, UNLV coach Mike Sanford took the names off the backs of his team’s jerseys. Given this season’s performance, he may consider removing the school name off the front of da’ jerseys too!

Celeb-reality star Flava’ Flav often wears a helmet with horns. Maybe he wants to be the Vikes’ mascot???!! He also sports an over-sized tick-tock around his neck. Inquiring minds wanna’ know...does his clock start on the kick, on the ready to flay from the referee or when the women vying for his affections actually touch his balls!

A pair of North Korean soldiers wandered last Saturday into the South Korean side of the Demilitarized Zone, touching off an international incident. However, through an interpreter, the soldiers said they were "just a couple of sports fans" and were reacting to rumors that border guards on the south side were "watching the Georgia-Tennessee game on CBS." The pair were later disappointed to learn "CBS" didn’t stand for the "Communist Broadcasting System".

"Locked in a Box?": The lock record jumps up to 4-2 behind Mizzou’s very nice road win as a doggie over Texas Tech! Weber will cheer the Tigers again this week in the "lock" role!

Shoppe Talk: Those Frightenin’ Irish (1-5) and Texas Wrong Horns (0-5) re-inhabit the Shoppe after showing up on the wrong side of the spread again!

Vindy’s Week 7 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-3 Season: 14-13 (.519)
Maryland -2 over VIRGINIA, WYOMING +4 ½ over Utah, SAN JOSE STATE -14 over Utah State, EAST CAROLINA +2 ½ over Tulsa, Army +5 ½ over UCONN

Vindy's Picks Week 6-2006

In light of looming mid-term elections and being creatively uninspired by recent news events, Vindicator elects to reach into the archives to reprint one of his favorite lead stories from the 2003 season......

PIGSKIN PART OF ARNOLD’S 100-DAY PLAN

SACRAMENTO, California (CNN)...With the final tallies in and his transition team of Vin Diesel, Angelina Jolie, Lee Corso and Danny DeVito surrounding him, the Terminator spelled out his expected accomplishments in the first 100 days of his administration in the Golden State. Said Schwarzenegger, "As guvanah of dis great state, I will repeal da’ state cah tax, balance da’ buhget and most impawtently...I will return Suddern Cahleeforneeya footbahl to national prahminence. Schools like UC-Santah Cruz, Cal-State Foolaton and Sahn Hosaaaayy State will compete again for da’ National Title. I will puhsonally take dem to da’ gym and pump...dem up!" Arnold also repented for past indiscretions, noting "In my yute, I did a lot of tings that I taught were playful at da’ time, like making fun of Veeendy’s fawcast. But I know now dat it was jus disrespecful, and faw dat, I apologice."

But back to the future....Well-ahead of the bookies at 8-3 thru the first 11 of his Week Five calls, Vindicator started hotdogging like Olympic snowboard-cross racing shoulda’-been-gold medalist, Lindsey Jacobellis, leading the bookies to send in that German guy from the Volkswagen commercials to "un-pimp Vindy’s auto!". Weber finished the week at a still-decent 11-7 and stands at 8 games below the Mendoza Line with a season tally of 40-48-3 (.454).

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 6 FORECAST
(So easy, a caveman could pick ‘em!)

THURS. OCT. 5
NC STATE over #17 Florida State taking 11: Wolfpack defense is stout...11th in the nation against the pass and yielding a reasonable 20 points per game. ‘Noles are passing for 315 yards per game, but could be one-dimensional since only 24 I-A teams rush for fewer yards per game. Does Chuck Amato and the boys have another upset in ‘em?...NC State 21 Injuns 19

FRI. OCT. 6
#9 Louisville over MIDDLE TENNESSEE STATE giving 33: Best chance for the Blue Raiders is to borrow the Titans’ mascot, T-Rac, and have him back his golf cart over whomever lines up at QB for the Cardinals this week... Cards 38 MTSU 0

SAT. OCT. 7
Bowling Green over #1 OHIO STATE taking 34: State is perfect 5-0 ATS. Buckeyes got four turnovers to get past Iowa. Hope we see the Falcons that won on the road over Ohio instead the ones that got smoked by Kent State 38-3 two weeks ago...Buckeyes 34 BGSU 7

Arkansas over #2 AUBURN taking 16: Teams should be starting to catch up to Auburn right about now and maybe consecutive spread losses by the Tigers support that. Hogs are 0-4 ATS. Might be a good spot for them to get their first spread win against Auburn club that hosts Florida next week...Tigers 24 Soooeeey Pigs 14

Washington over #3 USC taking 20 ½: UDUB is finally prospering under Ty Willingham. Troy has posted back-to-back spread losses, both vs. conference competition...USC 32 Sled Dogs 14

#4 West Virginia over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 26: Bulldogs aren’t playing badly on defense but can’t move the ball consistently. Croom’s club is 2-8 ATS in its last 10 going back to last season. Together with sister Magnolia State school Ol’ Miss, the two squads are 3-17 ATS in their last 20...WVU 38 MSU 3

#8 Louisiana State over #5 FLORIDA taking 2: Homecoming for the Gators, who should really only be 2-3 ATS, but got a very late INT for TD vs. ‘Bama to cover that one. Bengals have won 3 of last 4 outright. Tigers have also only covered 2 of last 10 against Top 25 teams...Tigers 23 Florida 19

Michigan State over #6 MICHIGAN taking 16: Much to the chagrin of local fishermen, the Coast Guard is establishing live-fire zones on the Great Lakes. Maybe the Spartans can have the Coasties launch a few missiles and small-arms fire far enough inland to soften the Wolverines defense. State took last week to fall flat after heartbreaker vs. the Irish. The season for them comes down to this one though and an outright win by Sparty wouldn’t be a shocker...Michigan 24 MSU 23

#14 Oklahoma over #7 Texas taking 5: Bob Stoops will throw the whole defensive playbook at Longhorns’ freshman QB Colt McCoy...Sooners 20 Texas 17

#10 GEORGIA over #13 Tennessee taking 2 ½: We might’ve backed a shaky Vols team as a road dog going up against Bulldog squad that excels at home inside the conference, but not as chalk...Joja’ 19 UT 16

#11 Oregon over #16 CAL taking 5 ½: Two fine offenses go toe-to-toe here and the Weber Kid changed his mind several times on this pick. Decoys have actually been a few games better against the number away from the Pond than they have been at home. Mallards get the nod in a wild one...Cal 34 Ducks 31

#12 NOTRE DAME over Stanford giving 32: Stanford has been a horrible team to-date and brings to mind last season’s loss to Cal-Davis. The obnoxious Cardinal band was suspended from travel for trashing a hotel room. Did the band geeks have illusions of being members of the Who and start smashing their woodwinds and snare drums following a rousing version of Baba O’Reilly?...Catholics 48 Stanford 10

#15 Clemson over WAKE FOREST giving 16: As a sign of respect, Vin tips his helmet to Jim Grobe’s Demon Deacons for the job they’ve done since losing the starting quarterback. Wake won this straight up 31-27 in ‘05, but that was over Tiger team coming off consecutive defeats, in which they played a total of four OT periods...Clemson 35 Deacons 14

#18 GEORGIA TECH over Maryland giving 13 ½: There’s still the "Bell factor" but ‘Jackets’ defense alone could account for the covering scores. Terps’ three wins this year aren’t over anyone of substance...Bees 30 Box Turtles 7

Purdue over #19 IOWA taking 11: Expect the Boilers’ receivers to keep Hawkeye defensive backfield busy all day. Iowa rebounds from Ohio State defeat, but Purdue beats the line...Iowa 28 Purdue 27

#20 BOISE STATE over Louisiana Tech giving 35: Fourth road trip already this year for Tech and third against a ranked foe. Bulldogs will be as effective as North Korean Taepaedong II missile. Lack of returning defensive starters for LT has been painfully evident...BSU 54 Weeziana Tech 10

#21 Virginia Tech : IDLE (next @ Boston College 10/12)

#22 Nebraska over IOWA STATE giving 7: Cyclones still playing below expectations with 6-point win over UNLV and 1-point squeaker over Northern Iowa. The Church of Scientology supports the concept that "quiet birth", the absence of talk and other noise, is more healthful for the birth..Vindy follows suit and won’t say a word about last week’s Huskers "lock" pick...Big Red 28 ISU 14

#23 Missouri over TEXAS TECH taking 4: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Red Raiders second-half defense (or lack thereof) nearly cost ‘em game at A&M. Tigers show if they’re real (with a nice road victory) or just Memorex ... Mizzou 33 Texas Tech 27

#24 Rutgers: IDLE (next @ Navy)

#25 Boston College: IDLE (next vs. Virginia Tech 10/12)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

This past Spring, a Cornell University horticulturist suggested giving plants some hard liquor keeps them from tipping over. In early February, the Stanford Tree mascot was busted consuming alcohol under her costume. Vin thinks she was simply ahead of her time! (Hmmm...quick thinking band members might’ve been able to propose a scapegoat for that whole ‘trashed hotel room’ thing!)

Pro footballers Braylon Edwards, Steven Jackson and Sinorice Moss are vying for the same role on "General Hospital". Personally, Vindy’s always been a "Days of Our Lives" fan (or was it "All My Children"?), lusting after Kelly Ripa in her pre-"Regis & Kelly" days.

A July issue of Sports Illustrated reported Jose Canseco wanted to be deputized as a member of Senator George Mitchell’s steroid scandal investigators and labeled him the" Sherlock Holmes of Human Growth Hormone, the Columbo of the Clear". Vin continues the analogy and anoints the former Bash Brother as Da’ Quincy of Cream, Da’ Barretta of da’ BALCO, Da’ Joe Friday of da’ Flaxseed, Da’ Kojak of Da’ Juice, Da’ Starsky of the Steroids and Da’ Tubbs of da’ Testosterone!

A barrage of legal difficulties befell members of the Cincinnati Bengals this summer, including the arrest and Tasering of tackle Matthias Askew. Officers on-site called Askew "an electric player". Cincinnati coaches, upon hearing the news of yet another brush with the law, expressed "shock-and- awwwwwww, not again!". Opposing teams planned to re-implement the "zap-back block". Teammates say his favorite band is now AC/DC! (OK, we’ll stop now.)

"Locked in a Box?": The Weber Kid is 3-2 after going to the well with Nebraska one too many times!

Shoppe Talk: The Shoppe is vacant this week with Texas playing a I-AA opponent last week and the Irish failing to cover against Purdue as predicted. (Don’t wander too far away fellas!)

Vindy’s Week 6 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-1 Season: 12-10 (.545)
Vandy -1 ½ over OL’ MISS, Florida International -3 over NORTH TEXAS, Washington State -3 over OREGON STATE, Oklahoma State -3 ½ over KANSAS STATE, Navy +3 over USAF

Vindy's Picks Week 5-2006

GOODMAN TAGGING PUNISHMENT PLAN BACKFIRES

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (MSNBC)...No longer threatening to lop off thumbs, Sin City mayor Oscar Goodman went from mob to medieval this summer, implementing a face-painting penalty for people caught "tagging" in Las Vegas. Under the new plan, taggers are placed in public stockades and passers-by are permitted to "dab paint" on the offenders’ faces. But four weeks into the NCAA season and three into the NFL campaign, that strategy is being reconsidered as football fanatics from around the entire country have been flocking to Las Vegas and blatantly spray-painting the beloved desert tortoise statues that stand guard below the Vegas freeways in order to be caught and have people dab their faces with their respective favorite teams’ colors! Fans from as far away as New England have managed to get leaked information right from the mayor’s office about the colors scheduled for use each day as much as a week in advance and plan their trips accordingly. Violators have been seen actually standing in line behind other taggers, spray-cans in-hand, awaiting their turns. Mayor Goodman said he would now have to take counter-measures by determining randomly each morning which colors would be used or by providing the public with colors for arch-rival teams after making the offenders declare a favorite club!

Week Four’s 10-10-1 (29-41-3, .414) leaves Vindicator feeling that guy in the beer commercial being trained by the ancient master to never spill a Bud Light...you know... "AGAIN!"...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 5 FORECAST
(Vindy’s Picks are typed up in front of a live studio audience)

THURS. SEPT. 28
SOUTH CAROLINA over #2 Auburn taking 14: Tigers definitely showed wear-and-tear of LSU game, not getting untracked until second half against improving-but-still-outclassed Buffalo squad. Spurrier may not have the talent base (yet) to win outright, but we’ll expect the ‘Cocks to go all out and make it interesting ...Auburn 17 SC 7

#17 TCU over Brigham Young giving 5: Toads will field same pass D here that they used to stuff Texas Tech air attack. Coogs might be the one team with enough firepower to unseat TCU in the Mountain Jest conference (though pesky Pilots team awaits the Frogs in December). BYU playing second game in five days. Frogs last played a week ago Thursday...TCU 28 BYU 17

FRI. SEPT. 29
#23 Rutgers over SOUTH FLORIDA giving 3: Scarlet Kaaaaannnigggetttts get a "#" for the first time in 30 years! Bulls win about two outta’ every three at home, but don’t cover the number that well. USF has already beaten ‘05 MAC title-game participant Central Florida and didn’t play badly in close loss to Kansas. Knights looking to get payback for last year’s two TD loss that came as a result of very sloppy play...State Uni of New Joisey 24 USF 17

SAT. SEPT. 30
#13 IOWA over #1 Ohio State taking 7: The OSU-PSU game was a lot closer than final score would indicate as Buckeyes returned two desperation passes for TD in the final two minutes to cover the number. Vindy hopes there’s a big, fat check in the da’ mail for Penn State’s Anthony Morelli. Vindy picks this one under protest and at no extra charge, we’ll try the upset...Iowa 23 OSU 20

#3 Southern Cal over WASHINGTON STATE giving 17: Troy waltzed all over Wazzou last year in a 42-point victory. Allowing for a few adjustments, returning/leaving players and homefield for the Cougars, we see the margin in the 30's this time...USC 44 Dubya State 13

#4 West Virginia: IDLE (Next @ Mississippi State)

Alabama over #5 FLORIDA taking 14: Gators were #5 this time last year too when Tide trashed ‘em 31-3. ‘Bama couldn’t take advantage of Arkansas’ freshman quarterback and a +2 turnover advantage. Both of Florida’s SEC wins have been uninspired...UF 17 Alabammy 13

#6 Michigan over MINNESOTA giving 7 ½: While not as good as road blowout over Notre Dame would suggest, Wolverines should certainly be able to keep about a 10-point buffer between themselves and the Gerbils. If Minny isn’t careful coming out, this could get away early...Big Blue 27 Gophers 17

Sam Houston State @ #7 TEXAS: No line. (And we ain’t crushed about that.)

#8 Louisville: IDLE (Next @ Middle Tennessee State)

#9 LSU over Mississippi State giving 30: Don’t know how the hapless Bulldogs pulled the OT upset at UAB. They’ll be fortunate to dent the scoreboard this week. Only caveat is pending visit by the Gators next week...LSU 44 MSU 3

#10 Georgia over MISSISSIPPI giving 16: We thought about giving this one "lock" status. Following scare from disappointing Buffaloes, Richt will have the ‘Dawgs focused here. Joja’s thrown two white-washes already. Might be a third here...Georgia 24 Ol’ Missed 0

#24 Georgia Tech over #11 VIRGINIA TECH taking 8 1/2: Bees have had since last Thursday night’s win over Virginia to plan for this. GT nearly toppled Notre Dame, but Irish look more and more over-rated. Hokies squeaked by the line against Duke and did not cover last week against Cincy. Looks like a great chance for Reggie Bell to choke in another big game. Tech wants to avenge 51-7 clobbering it got last season...VT 17 GT 16

Purdue over #12 NOTRE DAME taking 17: Frightenin’ Irish continue look entirely beatable each week. Boilers and Gophers were virtually even in every category except turnovers. Ball State loss to I-AA North Dakota State makes Purdue’s 10-point victory over the Cardinals that much less impressive. We find out here what the Boilermakers really have...ND 31 Purdue 24

#14 Oregon over ARIZONA STATE giving 1 ½: ASU coaches got bad news earlier this week when they were informed the officiating crew would forego the traditional black and white uniforms in favor of green and yellow ones! Expecting masses of passes....Decoys 34 Devils 31

#15 Tennessee over MEMPHIS giving 15: Tigers haven’t defeated a I-A team yet thus far. Vols break a six-game ATS-loss streak in their first road tilt of the season...Tennessee 34 Memphis 17

#16 Oklahoma: IDLE (next vs. Texas)

#18 CLEMSON over Louisiana Tech giving 31: Just can’t find any reason to back the Bulldogs here. Tigers get in a little target practice before facing Demon Deacons in Winston-Salem next week...Clemson 49 LT 10

#19 Florida State: IDLE (Next @ NC State 10/5)

#20 California over OREGON STATE giving 10: Another game considered for lock. Line appears somewhat smaller than Vindicator expected. Even with potential letdown by ‘Da Bears from the ASU game, Beavers have done nothing to garner this type of support...Cal 28 Oregon State 7

#21 NEBRASKA over Kansas giving 15 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. After floundering a couple seasons under Bill Callahan, Big Red seems to have it all figured out. At least they’re blasting teams they should be blasting. Fightin’ Manginos are just slidin’ by week to week...Nebraska 31 Kansas 3

#22 Boise State over UTAH taking 4: Vindicator was on Hawaii in Boise-Land last week for sure, but Potato-Heads might’ve been in bend-but-don’t-break mode, taking 13-point edge into the final period. Boise’s race to the BCS gets derailed, just not this time...Broncos 27 Utes 13

Colorado over #25 MISSOURI taking 19: Buffaloes finally showing some life, though haven’t learned how to close out a game. Nonetheless, we like Colorado’s 0-4 record better than Mizzou’s 4-0. Tigers might just overlook Bison toward next week’s game at Texas Tech...Mizzou 20 Colorado 10

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Just a follow-up to Week Four’s presidential dinner story. Coach Saban reportedly forgot his wedding anniversary this past summer. Hmmmm...just wondering if Mrs. Saban had a chat with the Vice President about issuing a little payback!

With his Lions backed up in their own territory early in the second quarter vs. the Buckeyes, JoPa suddenly sprinted from the far sideline, behind the PSU formation, across the end zone and down the tunnel into the locker room. Broadcasters eventually reported Joe was suffering from "flu-like symptoms". Vin just wants to know which assistant coordinator was responsible for apprizing Paterno about the whole "spinach" thing! NFL scouts clocked the ancient coach at a sub-4.4 forty and may invite Joe to next year’s Combine! Vindy wondered if JoPa just thought the half was over or if he would actually turn up-field toward the line of scrimmage as a man in motion, a la Arena League rules! Officials nearly flagged the Nitwit Lions for 12-men on the field!

Astronauts recently completed construction of a 17 ½ ton addition to the International Space Station. NASA says that brings the seating capacity to over 110,000 fans and it plans to add luxury suites by the 2008 season!

On ABC Family...an alien with no bellybutton uses his tummy as a chalkboard and draws up plays for the local high school football team in..."Kyle X’s and O’s"

Terrell Owens racked up over 100 yards this past weekend...then coaches chased him off the stationary bike! By the way, does T.O. now stand for "Tried Overdose"???!!

The city of San Francisco uses bluegills to provide early detection of toxins in its drinking water supply. Maybe Vin should get an aquarium and let his picks float.

The Transportation Security Administration is relaxing restrictions for carry-ons aboard aircraft. Can’t wait to see team staffers load up all those 3-ounce Gatorade buckets!

Coming soon to the big screen...Sean Connery stars as a bookie with lines for all of next month’s games aboard a Russian submarine being pursued by the Vindicator in..."Hunt for Spread October"!

"Wish I Had That One Back": Vindy shoulda’ thought twice on the Auburn pick after noting he’d "feel better...if Auburn had lost to LSU".

"Locked in a Box?": Big Red’s 59-0 romp over Troy bumps Vin’s lock tally to 3-1.

Shoppe Talk: Vindicator adds a little Steer meat to his Irish stew as Notre Dame and Texas earn the inside track to Vindy’s post-season "Grill-Master Supreme Award" after burning our fearless forecaster four straight weeks!

Vindy’s Week 5 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 8-9 (.470)
PENN STATE -16 ½ over Northwestern, Nevada-Reno -3 over UNLV, Navy +3 over UCONN, Idaho -2 ½ over UTAH STATE, Eastern Michigan +3 ½ over UL-LAFAYETTE

Vindy's Picks Week 4-2006

COACH DOES PREZ DINNER AFTER ALL; NEARLY SHOT

CRAWFORD, Texas (UPI)...Originally rebuking an invitation from President Bush in July to join him for dinner, stating team responsibilities as a priority, Dolphins’ head coach Nick Saban eventually relented under pressure and agreed to break bread recently on Dubya’s Texas ranch. But hob-knobbing with the Commander-in-Chief over some barbeque came with a price as Saban barely dodged a load of birdshot that narrowly missed his face. Fearing an assassination attempt, Secret Service agents immediately dove to protect the coach...er..um...the President, that is ...while ranch security quickly swarmed a nearby tree-line, only to discover Vice President Dick Cheney. Cheney apologized, noting he was aiming at some quail and didn’t notice his boss and the coach, (who was wearing a bright Miami orange shirt) due to shrubbery surrounding the Presidential picnic area, partially obscuring the dining duo. Wire services were initially unaware of the event for three days because the local newspaper elected to sit on the story temporarily. To-date, the Veep still hasn’t taken responsibility for the incident. Said one Secret Service agent, "This is what happens when ‘the Ferrari of hunting rifles’ is wielded by the Edsel of hunters."

Speaking of Edsels, Weber turned in a coyote ugly 5-9-1 (19-31-2, .380) for Week Three. Of Vin’s five wins, two were by way of a half-point, a third by a single point. And now, a word from our sponsor..."Vindy’s Picks...it’s a forecast...it’s a vacuum cleaner...it’s BOTH!"

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 4 FORECAST
(Special NRA Collectors’ Edition)

#24 Penn State over #1 OHIO STATE taking 16 1/2: Even during the down years in Happy Valley, four of the last five between these two have been decided by a touchdown or less. The one game not falling into that category still finished with only an eleven-point difference. Lions brought on their own misery at Notre Dame...Buckeyes 23 Penn State 17

#2 AUBURN over Buffalo giving 43: Bills making a little progress and we’d feel better about this choice if Auburn had lost to LSU. Short week for Aubie as they go to South Carolina next Thursday. They’ll have to break into the 50's to prevent the backdoor cover...Tigers 52 Buffalo 6

#3 Southern Cal over ARIZONA giving 21: Not the worst case of "looking ahead" we’ve ever seen, but Wildcats’ 18-point win over Stephen Freakin’ Austin last week is deceiving. AZ was down 10-7 early and only ahead by 4 going into the final quarter...USC 45 ‘Cats 17

#4 West Virginia over EAST CAROLINA giving 21: First away game of the year for the Mounties, who should be fresh, having last played last Thursday. Pirates posted their only cover in five tries vs. WVU last year in a 20-15 loss at Morgantown. ECU has yielded 20 fewer points to-date than they did thru first three games (including aforementioned trip to West Virginia) of ‘05. Iffy call...’Eers 34 Harrrrr, me Maties 10

Kentucky over #5 FLORIDA taking 23: Gator-backers got hosed last season when Florida D allowed a furious late comeback by the Wildcats who pulled within three touchdowns as a 24-point dog. Gator starters should see some early rest with ‘Bama on the horizon...UF 34 UK 13

Wisconsin over #6 MICHIGAN taking 14: Wisky has covered the number three straight times against Big Blue, including last season’s outright 23-20 victory at home. They’ll need to lean on the defense here. Frankly, the outright upset wouldn’t faze this forecaster...Michigan 17 Badgers 10

#7 TEXAS over Iowa State giving 24: Some might still see this as a preview of Big 12 Conference crown game. Cyclones are a one-man team and were probably fortunate to survive visit from upset-minded UNLV. ‘Horns were flagged 19 times for nearly one-and-a-half football fields worth of yardage and still hung half-a-century on Rice... Texas 38 ISU 7

#8 Louisville over KANSAS STATE giving 14 1/2: Yes, the Cards lost the starting quarterback AND the starting running back. Reserve QB Cantwell racked up 113 yards on 4 pass attempts (one of which was incomplete) in a little over a quarter last week. Wildcats on the way up after barely escaping I-AA Illinois State in the opener... Louisville 27 KSU 7

Colorado over #9 GEORGIA taking 27: What was that depressing movie in the late 60's starring Jane Fonda? Oh, yeah..."They Shoot Buffaloes, Don’t They?" So much for Dan Hawkins re-energizing the CU offense. The best college or pro pigskin team in the Rocky Mountain State right now might be...Air Force!...Joja’ 24 Buffs 7

#10 LSU over Tulane giving 36: Homecoming for the Bayou Bengals. Tigers couldn’t hold on last week against Auburn and came away empty on five occasions on the Auburn side of the field. We look for State to skunk the visitors and to probably score on its first five possessions this week. Third straight road trip for the Green Wave ...LSU 41 Tulane 0

#11 VIRGINIA TECH over Cincinnati giving 26 1/2: Conference game vs. the Bees is coming up for Tech. Seemingly, there are no ill-effects from the departure of Michael Vick’s little brother. Bearkats get whacked again. The Weber Kid considered this one for lock... Hokies 38 Cincy 7

#12 Notre Dame over MICHIGAN STATE giving 4 ½: NTSB officials are still examining the black box found in the Irish locker room following last week’s tilt against Michigan. Spartans have had Notre Dame’s number over the past decade. State won’t be repeating 2005 Iwo Jima flag-planting after this one though...Catholics 29 MSU 24

#13 Oregon: IDLE (next @ Arizona State)

#14 Iowa over ILLINOIS giving 21: With big in-state rivalry outta’ the way, Hawkeyes can get back to business and warm up for Ohio State. Illini are just going nowhere...Iowa 41 Illinois 10

Marshall over #15 TENNESSEE taking 22: Vols playing to the level of their competition. Herd is 6-2 ATS in last 8 against ranked teams. ‘Dogs haven’t had a big week...yet...Tennessee 28 Marshall 10

#16 TCU: IDLE (next vs. BYU 9/28)

#17 OKLAHOMA over Middle Tennessee State giving 29: Sooners lost to the zebras, not the Decoys. Conference battle vs. North Texas might be of more importance to Blue Raiders than this one. Okies should be getting their act together by now...OK 44 MTSU 10

#18 FLORIDA STATE over Rice giving 29 1/2: Owls catch the Injuns off a bad loss just like they caught Texas. State’s offense is still struggling. Might be a nice game to see it break out. At least the special teams are coming around and we foresee those squads providing the covering scores...’Noles 31 Rice 0

North Carolina over #19 CLEMSON taking 16 1/2: Will the Tigers be drained after beating Florida State? Tarheels will be drained following wild 45-42 victory over...GASP!...I-AA Furman! The strength-and-conditioning coach at UNC made Tarheels players run up and down stadium steps carrying bags of cement. Similarly, Vindy increased his stamina in the preseason by doing likewise with full cases of beer at local Rebels’ venue Sam Boyd Stadium!...Clemson 24 North Carolina 17

#22 CAL over #20 (tie) Arizona State giving 7 1/2 : Devils’ D making strides but Bears are still second-best club in the PAC-10...Berkeley 28 ASU 17

NC STATE over #20 (tie) Boston College taking 7: UPSET SPECIAL. Eagles clearly have the better team, though they continue to win with difficulty. Looking for the Wolf Pack to be up for ACC conference opener at home. In OT...NC State 23 BC 20

#23 NEBRASKA over Troy giving 22: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Trojans covered against a flat team of Seminoles recovering from Miami and travel for the third consecutive game...Big Red 35 Troy 6

Hawaii over #25 BOISE STATE taking 14 ½: Vindicator briefly thought about an upset here too, but Mainland record for Hawaii doesn’t inspire quite that much confidence and Broncos are virtually invincible on the blue field. BSU teetered on the brink at Wyoming...Boise 33 ‘Bows 30

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Upon learning the Miami coach turned down his supper invitation this summer, the President said "Fine. See if the Hurricanes get my vote for the preseason Top 25!" Asked by local game wardens to produce his Duck Stamp, Cheney asked if season tickets to Oregon games would suffice! Comments from the Democratic camp included a claim that Al Gore actually invented the Duck Stamp!

The CU Bison players need to give back the I-Pods they got for playing in last year’s Champs Sports Bowl and play some ball for cryin’ out loud!!!!

Nine of the Big Ten (Eleven) Conference teams beat their out-of-conference foes last week. The two offenders? ...Illinois, who lost to Big Least lower-tier squad Syracuse, and Indiana, who lost to I-AA Southern Illinois!

USC is unhappy with ABC broadcaster Brent Musberger for revealing the meaning of QB John Booty’s "hang-loose" hand-gesture during the Nebraska game last Saturday. Don’t be surprised if Booty’s next hand-gesture in Brent’s presence involves a thumb on his nose and four waving fingers!

Maurice Clarett was arrested in August after a traffic violation for having loaded weapons, including an AK-47, on the front seat of his car. The former running back will now do 3 ½ years at the Grey Bar Hotel, but officials at the local post office said they would keep Clarett’s job application on file.

In July, Miami Hurricanes’ safety Willie Cooper took a bullet in the behind from an unknown assailant. One of his teammates pulled a pistol from his own pants and fired back. No big deal. Cooper was just a backside..er..um..back-up.. safety anyway. And by the way, where was Dick Cheney when all this went down?!

Marcus Vick was arrested in January for waving a gun in a McDonald’s. Guess that qualifies him for All Con-Ference honors? So...like...there was no toy in his Happy Meal or what? Recently, after being originally cut by Miami, Vick was later signed to the Dolphins practice squad. Clarett gladly accepted when he thought they said "target-practice squad."

Bizarre random thought of the week: when players go to the grocery store for dairy snacks, do they have look for 1st-, 2nd- and 3rd-string cheese?

On the auction block...autographed baseballs on which Pete Rose wrote "I’m sorry I bet on baseball." Coming soon to E-Bay: autographed footballs on which the Weber Kid wrote "I’m sorry you bet on football using Vindy’s Picks!"

"Wish I Had That One Back": The Week 3 forecast noted Texas-Rice as a "definite ‘wish’ pick"

"Locked in a Box?": Vin grabs his second lock win against one loss courtesy of the Hokies squeaking past the line by pitching the shutout over Duke!

Shoppe Talk: The Irish, Red Raiders and Steers officially open this year’s Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe, all at 0-3. (C’mon in, fellas! Help yourselves to some nice packaged spinach while Vindicator sharpens his ax!)

Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 6-7 (.461)
Arkansas State +6 ½ over SMU, UAB -10 over Mississippi State, SYRACUSE -6 1/2 over Miami-Ohio, ‘Bama +2 over ARKANSAS

Vindy's Picks Week 3-2006

FORECASTER TO FOOTBALL FANS: "DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY!"
‘Hawks Off ‘Madden’ Hook

SEATTLE, Washington (ITAR-Tass)...Speaking through a megaphone from atop the Space Needle, the Vegas Vindicator spoke to (and annoyed) tourists, sports afficionados and anyone else within a five-mile radius, trying to allay fears of Seahawks fans regarding the mysterious "Madden curse". The Weber Kid noted it was actually he, not Seattle running back Shaun Alexander, in the photo on the cover of the Madden 2007 video game, released this summer. Vindy said he strapped on pads and helmet (and a little make-up) and struck the pose featured on the game cover. The Sin City soothsayer further explained he, himself, was the victim of the curse, pointing out his 5-14 record in Week One as evidence. Weber implored fans to not panic over the Seahawks’ 9-6 lackluster victory over the Detroit Lions and reassured them their beloved team would still be going to playoffs. Officials at EA Sports confirmed Vindy’s claim, explaining the actual player was too busy practicing to attend the photo shoot. As Vindy teetered precariously on the edge of the outdoor observation deck, an unidentified person on the ground yelled, "Jump, you !@!&$#@!! I lost a bundle on your Week Two ‘best bets’!!

Before being "helped" over the rail by security, Vindicator quickly notes his Week Two count of 9-8-1 (14-22-1, .389 on the season), whips out a Sharpie on his way down and scribbles...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 3 FORECAST
(Vindy’s Picks are recorded before a live studio audience...and the bar appreciates the patronage!)

THURS. SEPT. 14
#5 WEST VIRGINIA over Maryland giving 15 1/2 : Box Turtles opened at 2-0, but didn’t win impressively over either lower-tier foe. Is it just Vindy or do you guys think Mark Mangino, Rick Majerus and Terps’ coach Ralph Friedgen have a future in sumo-wrestling?!...’Eers 38 Maryland 13

SAT. SEPT. 16
Cincinnati over #1 OHIO STATE taking 30 ½: Buckeyes are in a sandwich spot between critical triumph over Texas and visit by those Nitwit Lions next. Bearkats stayed close to State, losing only 23-19, during Buckeyes’ 2002 undefeated regular season...Ohio State 31 Cincy 9

#2 NOTRE DAME over #11 Michigan giving 7: Irish took advantage of several Nitwit Lions miscues early in the first half (Vindy didn’t bother viewing whatever second-half debauchery occurred!). Irish receiver Jeff Samardzija signed a five-year contract with the Cubbies as a hurler and wants to go pro in both football and baseball. Will we see a deluge of "Jeff knows..." commercials??? Does that make him a "pitcher" or a "catcher?!" Still voting against Big Blue...Leprechauns 24 Michigan 13

#6 Louisiana State over #3 AUBURN taking 3 ½: The last two seasons these clubs have battled in tight, tight games, including Bengals’ OT win last year. LSU is 2-5-2 ATS against ranked teams over the past two seasons. Aubie has covered 16 of last 20 regular season tilts... Bengals 17 Tigers 16

#19 Nebraska taking #4 USC taking 18 ½: Trojan Express seems to have lost little steam since 2005, thrashing Arkansas and stifling a good Wazzou offense, but there’s a little voice in Weber’s head (which raised its hand before speaking) suggesting "Take Big Red, take Big Red!"...Troy 29 Huskers 27

#7 Florida over #13 TENNESSEE giving 3 1/2: In an article this summer on anagrams, Sports Illustrated writer Steve Rushin noted Florida Gators could be rearranged to spell "‘Fro Gladiators". A couple bowl seasons ago, Vindy revealed an anagram of Urban Meyer to be "Yu R Beerman", and now discovers Chris Leak is also "Rich Lakes", "Slick Hare" and "I Crash Elk". Vols dodged a bullet when USAF blew a very late 2-point conversion...Florida 28 Vols 20

RICE over #8 Texas taking 30: Owls 0-2 outright but 2-0 ATS. Texas suffered the bad home loss to the Buckeyes. Have to consider the Lone Star rivalry. Rice is responding (still losing, but competitively) to new coach Todd Graham. Definite "wish" pick, but...Steers 35 Rice 9.

Clemson over #9 FLORIDA STATE taking 4 1/2: Injuns got 45 yards on 28 carries vs. Troy. Those kinda’ numbers won’t get it done here. Lack of a ground game finally catches up to State...Clemson 24 Chop 20

Alabama-Birmingham over #10 GEORGIA taking 17 1/2: Dawgs’ starting quarterback Joe Tereshinski (da’ Third) is out for this one. His replacement, freshman Stafford played adequately for 3+ quarters in his absence last week on the road, but still showed himself to be a freshman. ‘Dawgs don’t cover the number well outside the SEC...Joja’ 24 Blazers 13

#17 Miami over #12 LOUISVILLE taking 3: Vindy expected Cards’ QB Brohm to go down before starting RB Bush, but we’ll take it. ‘Canes need to produce some decent points on a I-A team. They will...Miami 27 Redbirds 24

#14 VIRGINIA TECH over Duke giving 35: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Playing at theatres in Blacksburg this week (both of ‘em! [And one of ‘em is still a drive-in!])..."The Blue Devils Wear Prada!"...Hokies 45 Duke 3

#18 OREGON over #15 Oklahoma giving 4: How many folks in the preseason, outside Eugene, woulda’ called the Decoys five-point chalk in this one?! Rematch of last season’s Holiday Bowl thriller. No faith in this choice... Drakes 27 Sooners 21

Iowa State @ #16 IOWA: OFF. (Hawkeyes have won 30 of last 33 at home [25-5-1 ATS per recent issue of Gaming Today] last 5+ years. Two of the three "L"s came to Michigan, the other to...Iowa State!)

#24 Texas Tech over #20 TCU giving 2: Raiders look vulnerable on defense, as they have in the past. Can’t gauge Horny Toads just yet based on wins over Baylor and UC-Davis. Da’ coin likes...Texas Tech 28 TCU 24

Portland State @ #21 CAL: No line. (Remember, sports fans, Portland State beat...New Mexico!!!!?)

COLORADO over #22 Arizona State taking 10: Just after the New Year, former Colorado Buffs RB Eric Bienemy joined the Minny Vikes as an assistant coach. Anybody else out there see the irony in that???? Devils covered last week, but the " D" is still an albatross. What’s goin’ in on in Boulder???!!!...Pitchforks 34 Gilded Bison 27

Brigham Young over #23 BOSTON COLLEGE taking 7: Coogs only managed a FG in last year’s tussle in Provo. 2-0 BC is only 8 points from being 0-2 and struggled against Central Michigan. Might be some emotional fall-off for Eagles following OT victory over Clemson. BYU is 2-5 ATS in last 7 vs. ranked teams, but 7-4 ATS overall on the road last two seasons...Boston College 20 BYU 19

Youngstown State @ #25 PENN STATE: No line. (Just win, baby!)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

By the way, a flag bearing the number "12" flew atop the Space Needle last January, saluting the "12th Man" home crowd that helped the Seahawks go 10-0 last season at Qwest Field. A similar "12" flag flew atop the Space Needle-like Stratosphere Casino in Vegas...mocking the number of correct picks in Vindy’s 28-game bowl forecast!

Roger Goodell succeeded Paul Tagliabue as NFL commish. If it had been Jane Goodall instead, would we have seen a book and a movie entitled ...."Linemen In the Mist"?

Bengals fans can report unruly behavior in the stands to security by calling 513-381-JERK. If Vice President Cheney gets outta’ hand, they can also dial 800-555-DICK!

Diminutive former Boston College/CFL/NFL QB Doug Flutie has been working as an analyst for ABC/ESPN...and ya can’t see the booster chair he sits on to the reach the mike, can ya???!

Out on DVD...two Denver rushers spend the off-season on a farm in the Rockies running plays outta’ the brown-eye formation in..."Broncoback Mountain"! (Funny, the lines-makers were running those same plays with Vindy in Week One!)

On the small screen as part of the Fall line-up.......Jennifer Love-Hewitt brings justice to spirits of wronged uprights in..."Goalpost Whisperer"

A recent poll for favorite male golfer, to no one’s surprise, named Tiger Woods as the top choice. Vindy’s pick, however, is Carl Spackler (played by Bill Murray in "Caddyshack"). "Last year, just a groundskeeper...about to become...this year’s...Masters’ champion!...It’s IN the hole...it’s in the hole."

"Locked in a Box?": The Orange cover against Iowa in OT brings the lock record to 1-1 (.500).

"Wish I Had That One Back": Vindy called it last week.....Florida State-Troy as a "wish" pick!

Shoppe Talk: Several teams have logged back-to-back forecast losses. We’ll sort ‘em out next week (but Louisville and Florida both got in the prognostication win column!)

Vindy’s Week 3 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-4 Season: 4-5 (.444) (In a bizarre twist of fate, Vindy gave the book the number supporting RUTGERS -10 ½ rather than Illinois +10 ½ and gets to cash that ticket! The betting deities will, however, have their revenge later in the season!). Ball State +16 over PURDUE, NORTHWESTERN -16 over Eastern Michigan, Western Michigan +10 ½ over VIRGINIA, UCONN -6 over Wake Forest

Until next week...Vindicator’s just here for the Bud Light! (Now if you’ll excuse him, Vindy’s gotta’ pray to the magic fridge!)

Vindy's Picks Week 2-2006

WIDEOUT VOWS TO GIVE FEDS HOFFA...SOON

DETROIT, Michigan (CNN)...Federal authorities apparently weren’t too a far off the mark when they originally dug up a farm in nearby Milford Township earlier this year in search of the remains of notorious Teamster boss, Jimmy Hoffa. Lions’ wide receiver Roy Williams cut a deal recently to provide the location of Hoffa’s body to the FBI, as long as the Feds allow the often-brash pass-catcher to score his inaugural home touchdown of the year. While it’s unknown how Williams acquired knowledge of the location or the body, parameters of the deal suggest Williams may have Hoffa stashed in the padding below one of the Detroit Lions’ stadium goalposts or that the body itself is encased in the concrete base of one of the uprights.

And speaking of bodies, local law enforcement officials in Las Vegas appropriately drew an outline around Vindicator’s Week 1 forecast in chalk as the favorites went an astounding 15-4 ATS, walloping the Weber Kid’s picks (5-14, .263). Vindy hops outta’ the shower after scrubbing the monster truck tread marks off his face and proposes...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 2 FORECAST

(Vindy’s Picks shouldn’t be used if you’re nursing, pregnant or could become pregnant!)

#2 TEXAS over #1 Ohio State giving 2 1/2: Match-up of Longhorns’ defense vs. Buckeyes’ Ted Ginn and Troy Smith! We like the Steers with the home-field ad. No revenge for OSU...Longhorns 27 Buckeyes 17

#3 USC: IDLE (next vs. Nebraska)

#19 Penn State over #4 (tie) NOTRE DAME taking 8: Unimpressive outing by Irish against the Bees has to give Lions-faithful hope. Surely, State’s Anthony Morelli is a better QB than Tech’s Reggie Bell! Joja’ Tech stymied Irish offense with only five returning starters on D. Lions’ defensive backfield is still a question mark, but we think they’ll come through...ND 23 PSU 20

#4 (tie) Auburn over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 20: Bulldogs played some decent defense vs. South Carolina, but had nothing on "O". Tigers’ stop-squad forces State into second straight goose egg. Another long season comin’ up in Starkville...Auburn 31 MSU 0

Eastern Washington @ #6 WEST VIRGINIA: No line.

#7 FLORIDA over Central Florida giving 23: On June 26, an AP story ran the following headline: "Kidman, Urban Tie Knot in Australia". Hey...way to go Coach Meyer, snagging actress Nicole...oh, wait...! Hate to lay this many against O’ Leary’s Golden Knights but...Gators 41 UCF 13

#8 LSU over Arizona giving 14 ½: Vindy just knows this one’s comin’ back to bite him. Of Wildcats’ five losses by a TD or less last year, none of those were to teams known for defense (well, maybe Utah, but that’s it). Bengals were 1-4 ATS (but all to SEC foes) at home in 2005 and have plenty of room for improvement in several areas...LSU 31 AZ 14

#9 FLORIDA STATE over Troy giving 31: Best guess for "wish I had it back" pick. The ground game is still absent for the Injuns and many of the pass completions vs. Miami were deep-out patterns...pretty, but tough to sustain. ‘Noles are off a short week. Troy starts an ugly four-game road trip...’Chop 41 Troy 7

Central Michigan over #10 MICHIGAN taking 27 ½: Bettors have taken this line up a notch, but perhaps Vindy was overly-optimistic of Big Blue’s desire for a convincing win. Wolverines still in disarray on offense. Chippies gave Boston College a run for its money...Michigan 29 CMU 13

Air Force over #11 TENNESSEE taking 20: Vols got their big victory over Cal courtesy of turnovers and dropped passes. Flyboys excel in away openers in the dog role. Back-to-back sub-.500 records for USAF means the Pilots will knock themselves out against an opponent ranked this high. Rocky Top might be a little flat and just might look ahead to Florida...Tennessee 24 Flight Platoon 9

#12 Georgia over SOUTH CAROLINA giving 3: The word " landmine" is written all over this! Three of the last four between these clubs have been decided by 6 or less, all in favor of Joja’. ‘Cocks struggled to put up points on Mississippi State. Talent edge still goes to UGA. We’ll try the Dawg Pound and hope for a push at worst...Georgia 17 SC 13

#13 Louisville over TEMPLE giving 38 ½: Loss of Louisville star RB Bush won’t be a problem here. Temple isn’t the NCAA version of Pluto, but it oughta’ be...Cards 61 Owls 16

#14 Iowa over SYRACUSE giving 19: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Orange hung around after Wake’s QB broke his leg. Arch-rival Iowa State on deck for the Hawkeyes, but can’t see a distraction there with huge Big Ten game vs. Ohio State still a few weeks away...Iowa 38 ‘Cuse 12

#15 OKLAHOMA over Washington giving 17: We’ll chalk up the single-score win over the Blazers last week to opening game jitters. Expect Adrian Peterson to respond with a monster game following this week’s criticisms. UDUB is still floundering, as evidenced by narrow win over San Jose State...Sooners 35 Washington 7

#16 Virginia Tech over NORTH CAROLINA giving 11 1/2: Frank Beamer’s VT special teams are already in fine form with a couple of kick-blocks under their belts last week!...Hokies 28 UNC 9

Florida A&M @ #17 MIAMI: No line.

#18 Clemson over BOSTON COLLEGE giving 2 ½: This game has gone "off", but we’ll go with last known line. Tigers looked to be in good shape behind 5th-year senior QB Will Proctor. We’re about to find out if Clemson is worthy of Weber’s ACC Title (and very darkhorse national title) pick...Clemson 28 BC 17

FRESNO STATE over #20 Oregon taking 5: This forecaster was willing to spot the Bulldoggies two (per the opening spread), but not a fiver. Mallards often fizzle away from home. Oregon won last year by 3 and in ‘02 by 4, both on the Pond. The preseason experts have already presented the WAC trophy to Boise. We like Fresno...Decoys 31 Fresno 28

Nicholls State @ #21 NEBRASKA: No line.

#22 CAL over Minnesota giving 8 ½: After the Bears’ major disappointment at Rocky Top last week (Vindy got so disgusted with Vols’ quick TD at the opening of the 3rd Quarter, he switched to baseball and vowed to watch no more pigskin until Labor Day!), we’ll give them another try. If Cal isn’t plagued by drops and turnovers, Minny D won’t be able to keep up...Berkeley 38 Gophers 17

UC-Davis @ #23 TEXAS CHRISTIAN: No line.

#24 Texas Tech over UTEP giving 7: Curious line. Somebody doesn’t have a lot of faith in Raiders’ non-5th-year-starting QB. Frankly, we expected a line closer to 17! OK, Tech has a mostly, brand-new secondary, but the defense is getting better. Can’t see Mike Price’s Miners (we luv ya, Mike!) trading enough sixes...Texas Tech 35 UTEP 21

Nevada-Reno over #25 ARIZONA STATE taking 14 1/2: ASU didn’t go out front of I-AA Northern Arizona until the 4th Quarter and the Sun Devils alumni didn’t need any more fuel on the fire after former trigger-man Sam Keller was named starter and demoted in the same week before he transferred to...(GASP!)...Nebraska! Pass defense is a problem on both sidelines...ASU 38 UNR 34

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

More on Hoffa...Weber thinks the whole thing might be a prank set up by Ashton Kutcher just to "punk" Geraldo, a la the Capone tomb thing! Can ya see Geraldo standing by with a camera crew waiting to see the contents as Williams slugs away at the concrete base of the goalpost with a sledge-hammer to reveal...nada, zip, zilch!!!??!!!

One more thought on ESPN’s programming for Baby First TV...would great defensive plays be featured on a segment called "Crib Gems"???!!!

On the big screen...the Catholic Church tries to cover up Mary Magdalene’s bets on Notre Dame in..."The Da’ Vindy Code" (Oh, please, all the religious zealots in the readership need to just take a seat...longtime readers of this forecast had to have known THAT was comin’!!!!)

Week 1 disasters: Let’s hear it for the little guys (translation: I-AA clubs that toppled teams from the "Championship Division!")- Montana State 19-10 over COLORADO, Portland State 17-6 over NEW MEXICO and Richmond 13-0 over DUKE (oh...and..uh...Vindy’s first Saturday prediction tally of 5-14)!

Week 1 Near-disasters: KANSAS ST. 24-23 over Illinois State

Week 1 Bad Omens: WASHINGTON 35-29 over San Josie State and despite a huge blowout win, UNLV gives up two blocked kicks to Idaho State (and pulls a redshirt freshman in street clothes from the stands to come into the game at kicker).

Vindicator kept seeing the phrase "Dominate your draft" on those fantasy football sites, so he stocked up on chips & dips and chains and whips, and other leather accessories....and simply got laughed at by his fellow fantasy team owners!

In May 2006, Paul Gleason passed away. Fans of "The Breakfast Club" remember him as the principal. Las Vegas sports bettors might remember him as the face of the local Coast Casinos "Pick-the-Pros" contest. The actor was once overheard saying "If I have to come back into the sportsbook, I’m bustin’ skulls!"

Last month, the Chargers held practice on deck of the aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan at Coronado Naval Base in San Diego. No word as to whether or not President Bush showed up in helmet and uniform to declare "Practice Accomplished". Looking at sailors, for the first time in football history, a coach said "The name on the back of the uniform is more important than the one on the front of the uniform".

In late January, BaseballSavvy.Com encouraged readers to send in songs swapping the word "glove" for the word "love". That was too good to pass up, so our fearless prognosticator submitted Radar Glove, I’m in Glove With My Car, Muskrat Glorv and All You Need is Glove!

The Tampa Bay D-Rays are contemplating a name change including removal of the word "Devil". What if Webster’s Dictionary did likewise...We might have...Ray-may-care, the Arizona State Sun Rays, the Duke Blue Rays, Hostess Ray Dogs, Ray-to-pay, NJ Rays, Ray’s Advocate, Ray’s Island, Ray’s Triangle and that infamous appetizer...Rayed Eggs!

"Locked in a Box?": The Mallards of Oregon posted a nice 25-point victory over Stanford to start Vindy’s lock record at 1-0.

Shoppe Talk: Those !!@&%#!!! Louisville Cardinals whacked Vindy for the 10th time in the last 12 opportunities!!! The Gators give Weber a forecast win, but has John Edwards standing by to channel in the late Steve Irwin if needed!

Vindy’s Week 2 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: 3-1 (.750)
IOWA STATE -14 over unlv, Illinois +111/2 over RUTGERS, NEW MEXICO STATE +9 over New Mexico, COLORADO +2 1/2 over Colorado State, ALABAMA -16 over Vanderbilt

Vindy's Picks Week 1- 2006

BABY FIRST PICKS UP ESPN

LOS ANGELES, California...Hot on the heels of its successful ratings from broadcasting the 2006 Scripps National Spelling Bee (editorial note: it was won by 13-year-old Katharine Close...’Steroids! It hadda’ be da’ steroids!’), the adult version of the child’s game Paper, Scissors, Rock Championship from Las Vegas and the Soap Box Derby, ESPN has landed a contract with the Baby First TV network, which targets babies and toddlers. Obviously tapping into a newer, younger demographic and not to be outdone by Team Baby Enterprises, who sells videos with a sports theme featuring toddlers in college football unis and pitches math and spelling videos with a sports-related twist, "the world leader" plans to program sports scores and highlights to infants because "any self-respecting parents want their children’s first words to be ..’SportsCenter ...Next!’"

Our perplexed prognosticator, ready for another year, breaks the huddle with his preseason forecasting strategy team of former Coyotes assistant coach Rick Tocchet, Janet Jones (Mrs. Wayne Gretzsky), Bode Miller, Anna Benson, Padres’ massage therapist Kelly Calabrese, Jason Grimsley (without the wire the feds asked him to wear to gather information about Barry Bonds), the Northwestern women’s soccer team, the Duke men’s lacrosse team, ex-ESPN broadcaster Harold Reynolds, Floyd Landis and Ricky Bobby ... because there’s no "I" in "forecast"...and introduces...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 1 FORECAST
(Warning: Vindy scored lower on the Wonderlic test at this year’s combine than Vince Young!)

THURS. AUG. 31
Northern Arizona @ #24 ARIZONA STATE: no line

SAT. SEPT. 2
Northern Illinois over #1 OHIO STATE taking 19: Huskies have senior-laden defensive backfield and should force State to beat them with someone other than WR Ted Ginn (if NIU special teams can keep him from running amuck too). NIU has covered last two vs. Big Ten. Bucks look ahead to Texas...OSU 27 ‘Dogs 13

#2 Notre Dame over GEORGIA TECH giving 7 1/2: Irish might be a bit over-hyped and some folks even like the Bees in an upset. Vindy just can’t get past erratic Wreck QB Reggie Bell, so until he proves himself to this forecaster...he’s a "go-against"...Catholics 27 Bzzzzzzzz 10

North Texas over #3 TEXAS taking 41: Good candidate for "wish I had it back", but with a new quarterback taking his first live-fire snap and a visit from Ohio State next, expect Longhorns to show nothing more than a plain vanilla offense. Mean Green has a truckload of seniors on offense. Steers D won’t give up much, but should allow NT to hang around enough...’Horns 45 Green 10

Washington State over #4 AUBURN taking 14 ½: Tigers are again expected to do very well, just like last year when they fizzled in the opener vs. Joja’ Tech. Coogs went thru a three-game emotional-loss streak, losing by a total of 10 points, then got pummeled by USC. But fresh into this season (in which they’ll take the field 12 straight weeks), they’ll be stoked! An outright Cougar victory wouldn’t surprise this forecaster, but...Auburn 26 Wazzou 19

Marshall over #5 WEST VIRGINIA taking 22: Maybe a little in-bred...er...um...in-state...rivalry going on here and we’ll call for a slow start from the ‘Eers very-potent, but still very-young backfield (and a couple new folks on the O-line). Turns out the person caught spying on the Mounties for the Herd was...Valerie Plame! The SpyGate victory goes to...West Virginny 24 Herd It Thru the Grapevine 10

ARKANSAS over #6 Southern Cal taking 8 1/2: UPSET SPECIAL OF DA’ WEEK. ‘Hogs have 19 starters returning from team that lost 4 games by less than 5 points each and have revenge motive for 70-17 whacking they took at USC last year. (Unfortunately, the projected Arkie starting backfield is out for this one!). New Soooey Pigs OC coached a high school squad that outscored its opponents approximately 6-1. Despite suspensions for the Razorbacks.....Soooeeeey Pig 19 Troy Boys 17

#7 FLORIDA over Southern Miss giving 19 ½: Eagles are fielding a new offensive backfield and a stop squad full of new (albeit upperclassmen) faces and take on a ranked foe for only the second time since November 2003. Crocs have a centennial anniversary of college football this season. Will arch-rival Gators haunt Vindy all year again like they did in ‘05? Could get ugly early...Florida 48 USM 13

#8 LSU over UL-Lafayette giving 30 1/2: Bengals’ front seven on D is pretty young and could be susceptible to improved Indians’ rushing game. They might also be kind to UL given Katrina bond between the two teams. Or they could just try to make up ground early in the rankings by whackin’ the Injuns. We think the latter... LSU 48 Ragin’ Cajuns 7

#9 California over #23 TENNESSEE taking 2: Huge game for two teams trying to establish themselves. One trying to meet expectations of PAC-10 title, the other just trying to rebound from unsatisfactory SEC season. Vols better find a way to score more since defensive front won’t be keeping them close in tight games for a bit...Bears 21UT 17

#10 OKLAHOMA over Alabama-Birmingham giving 21: Weber considered this for lock. Blazers head coach Watson Brown is brother to Texas head coach Mack Brown. All the more reason to play well against hated Sooners. Okies originally-planned starting QB has been permanently flagged but UAB won’t be able to run on the Sooners D nor stop Adrian Peterson...OK 34 Blazers 9

#14 MICHIGAN over Vanderbilt giving 25 ½: Odd to not see a MAC unit opposing Big Blue here. Commodores didn’t fare well ATS out-of-conference even when now-NFL-quarterback Jay Cutler was leading the way. Coach Carr has to feel that candle burning its way through his britches and needs a convincing triumph. Wolverines need a little confidence following five-loss campaign in 2005...UM 38 Vandy 6

Western Kentucky @ #15 GEORGIA: no line

Montana @ #16 IOWA: No line.

Northeastern @ #17 VIRGINIA TECH: no line

#18 CLEMSON over Florida Atlantic giving 33 1/2: Tigers are Vindy’s very dark horse pick to win it all. Owls open with five straight road games and Tommy doesn’t have to worry about facing Daddy’s club for another two weeks after this...Tigers 45 FAU 6

Akron over #19 PENN STATE taking 16 ½: JoPa hits the sidelines as coach for the 56th time! Lions lost a bunch of folks on both sides of the ball from last year’s nearly-perfect team and have an away match with the Frightenin’ Irish on-deck. A new offensive line and new secondary portend a shootout vs. defending (and contending) MAC title Zips squad. Nifty Lions start slow, covering only 1of last 4 openers (ironically, the sole cover was against the Zips)... Lions 23 Zips 9

#20 NEBRASKA over Louisiana Tech giving 20: Huskers team was definitely an enigma last season, but can’t see Bulldogs club in flux (only 2 back on defense) putting enough offensive or defensive pressure on NU to stay within three touchdowns...Big Red 35 LT 10

#21 OREGON over Stanford giving 11: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Trees were 106th in total defense last year. Even with Ducks’ depleted D, Oregon’s biggest question going into this one is which of the 48 possible uniform combos to wear! Cardinal has San Josie State up next, but given 2005 loss to UC-Davis, even that could be an adventure ... Mallards 45 Stanford 20

Southern Methodist over #25 TEXAS TECH taking 26 1/2: Goin’ out on a slight limb here. Ponies have covered two of last three against the Raiders, but those two came at home, while the ATS loss came at Lubbock, where Tech scores twice as many points as on the road...Texas Tech 41 Mustangs 19

SUN. SEPT. 3
Kentucky over #13 LOUISVILLE taking 23: Eighth straight time Wildcats get the Birds to open the year. KY hasn’t fared well ATS here, but did cover the only pair of double-digit spreads in the last 5 seasons (losing by only a TD last year as another 23-point ‘dog!). Vindy will be gunnin’ for Louisville after the Cards posted 8 forecast losses last year in 9 tries...Cards 38 ‘Cats 20

BAYLOR over #22 Texas Christian taking 7 ½: New Bears OC Lee Hays should boost Baylor’s scoring potential. He’s also a former Marine sniper...so if Frogs defenders start dropping to the turf for no apparent reason ....! "Mr. Berringer. Mr. Tom Berringer to the white courtesy phone, please."...Toads 23 Baylor 20

MON. SEPT. 4
#12 MIAMI over #11 Florida State giving 3 ½: Will probably be a battle of defense and special teams with both offenses expected to struggle early. ‘Canes should’ve won it last year. Injuns have covered only two of last nine in this series. Miami will be missing a few good folks in this due to suspension. If the ‘Noles can’t establish the run early, they’re in trouble. "Under" might be the best play considering the total has continued to drop each of the past few years... ‘Canes 17 FSU 12

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Can’t wait to tune into Baby First and watch the commercials during the ESPN segments that hawk Miller Lite in the new formula-bottle six-pack! "Duh-duh-dum...duh-duh-dum!"

This June, Irish safety/punt returner Tom Zbikowski posted a first-round KO in his inaugural pro boxing match. Observers said Tommy Z. came out at the bell, made his opponent miss then set up his blockers and streaked down the left side of the ring past the referee untouched into the neutral corner to score the knockout!

This week on the big screen...Will Ferrell stars as the aging Seminoles’ coach in "Tallahassee Nights: The Ballad of Rickety Bobby Bowden"!

Vols’ back-up QB Jim-Bob Cooter will miss this weekend’s opener vs. Cal after receiving an indefinite suspension in June for incurring a drunk-driving charge. That’s OK. This gives him time to catch-up on re-runs of Dukes of Hazzard.

More on the spelling bee....were questionable spellings in the last two minutes of each round reviewable only by teachers in the booth? The winning word was "ursprache"! Wait! Vindy knows that one...and can even use it in a sentence..."Ahem...’Brian Ursprache makes another tackle for Da’ Bears!’"

Anybody else catch the batting helmets worn by contenders in the Little League World Series this year??!! Shades of Rick Moranis’ "Lord Dark Helmet" character in "Space Balls"!!!!!

Rumor had it an Elvis impersonator was scheduled to perform at the World Cup soccer opening ceremonies and sing "FIFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Las Vegas!"

Vindy’s Week 1 Best Bets: Last Week: 0-0 Season: 0-0 (.000)
South Carolina -8 over Mississippi State, Texas-El Paso +2 over SAN DIEGO STATE, Houston -13 over RICE, Hawaii +17 over ALABAMA

Next week...Vindicator reviews some of the off-season silliness around the world of sports, including the NFL (and reveals the location [almost] of...Jimmy Hoffa!) Stay tuned!