BCS Dumps Harris for Cardinals
ROME, Italy (ITAR-Tass)...Less than a week before the Bowl Championship Series publishes its first 2005 season poll, BCS officials showed Harris Poll the exit in favor of the Conclave of Cardinals! An anonymous BCS spokesperson noted it was rumors indicating Harris pollsters actually gave votes to 1-4 Idaho that led to the change and acknowledged the cardinals would face little difficulty selecting teams in an environment permitting weekly voting changes after appointing the world leader of the Catholic religion for years to come in less than 24 hours. In addition, white smoke will emanate from the Sistine Chapel each time a new Number One team is chosen. Opponents’ only fear is that Notre Dame will receive a ranking every week regardless of its win-loss record!
The ‘dogs claimed 13 of 17 and left Vindy 5-12 for last week! Even collegefootballnews.com’s staffer "Clucko the Chicken" (actually just a coin toss) has a better spread record than Weber’s season total of 42-59 (.416).
Drawing more boos than Ashley Simpson at last year’s Super Bowl, it’s...
THE WEBER KID’S 2005 WEEK 7 FORECAST
#9 NOTRE DAME over #1 Southern Cal taking 11 1/2: Leprechauns have not beaten a team whose season hasn’t come crumbling down around its cleats thus far, but Trojans still look very lucky and very beatable. We like ND’s chance at the upset...Irish 24 Troy 23
#24 Colorado over #2 TEXAS taking 17 1/2: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Congratulations to Mack Brown for finally reeling in the elusive "big one"! Line is understandable given Buffs two big wins came vs. two of the Big 12's most disappointing teams, Texas A&M and Oklahoma State and given Colorado’s 20-point loss at Miami. Nonetheless, we like the letdown situation for Texas, who now deals with hearing their strength of schedule isn’t good enough for a Rose Bowl bid...Texas 38 Colorado 27
#3 Virginia Tech: IDLE (next @ Maryland 10/20)
#4 Florida State over VIRGINIA giving 7: Injuns have definitely been a second-half team this year. Vindicator will forgive the ‘Noles for yielding a Wake Forest touchdown with 20 seconds left to give Deacons the backdoor cover last week if they just pound the bejeezus outta’ the Cavs... FSU 34 Virginia 17
VANDERBILT over #5 Georgia taking 15 ½: Vindy tips his helmet to the Boat People for three quarters of ferocious defensive effort vs. LSU last week. They get Vindy’s vote again here with Joja’ off big win over the Vols...Georgia 23 Vandy 12
#6 Alabama over MISSISSIPPI giving 12 1/2: With the first BCS poll due out, ‘Bammy needs a convincing win. Just to annoy the Rebels, Tide defenders will count to "three Mississippi" before rushing the passer! Tide won the toss for the first time all season in game vs. the Gators, making its record 1-3 ADC (Against Da’ Coin!)...’Bama 29 Ol’ Missed 13
TEMPLE over #7 Miami taking 41: Best choice for "wish I had it back". Owls are 0-6 outright but 2-4 ATS. ‘Canes called off the dogs vs. Duke with about 10 minutes to play and still covered. Will Miami still care enough to continue pressing past the third quarter?...Miami 51 Owls 13
#8 Penn State over MICHIGAN taking 3 1/2: Earlier this year, Coach Paterno deferred to the university powers to decide whether or not to reveal his annual financial compensation. As far as Weber knows, that information is still a military secret, but at 6-0 and Illinois yet to come, if Lions don’t go bowling, JoPa’s salary’s gonna’ be $5.15 an hour plus tips!...Lions 17 Wolverines 15
#10 LSU over #11 Florida (GASP!) giving 6: Not sure whether to attribute Bengals’ four turnovers and 14 penalties last week to LSU’s sloppiness or to Vandy’s improvement. Nonetheless, former coach Nick Saban wouldn’t tolerate that. Neither will current coach Les Miles. Expect more focus and better execution this time from the Tigers...LSU 24 Gators 16
#12 Ucla over WASHINGTON STATE giving 6: OK, it’s Homecoming for the Coogs, but this is a scary line. Wazzou’s victories came vs. I-A foes with a collective 4-7 record and Grambling State. Bruins easily could’ve lost to Cal, but didn’t...Bruins 28 WSU 17
#13 TEXAS TECH over Kansas State giving 13 1/2: The offenses were so backward in last week’s Kansas State 12-3 victory over Kansas, a witch fell on a house in Manhattan and killed it! Red Raiders just happy to have escaped Lincoln with a late win. ‘Cats have done little since losing Sproles to the NFL...Texas Tech 34 KSU 17
Wake Forest over #14 BOSTON COLLEGE taking 14: Contrary to Weber’s prediction, Demon Deacons used their rushing game to negate Florida State’s team speed for three quarters. Eagles rush defense is better. Wake averages 4 ½ yards per carry and has 11 rushing touchdowns. BC allows 2 ½ yards per carry and only two touchdowns on the ground. A little voice (and da’ coin) keeps whispering "Deacons"...Eagles 21 Wake Forest 13
#16 Michigan State over #15 OHIO STATE taking 6 ½: Buckeyes had a couple chances to beat Penn State deep last week and just missed. If Spartans can bottle up Ted Ginn like Lions did, they could win too. After Ginn was held to 40 yards on three catches vs. PSU, Buckeyes coach Jim Tressel asked the NCAA to "Pimp my wide...receiver!" In overtime... Ohio State 24 MSU 21
#17 Tennessee: IDLE (next @ Alabama)
#18 CAL over Oregon State giving 16: Can’t really criticize Cal’s decision to call a pass play from its own10 with 1:35 left to try to move the ball into FG range, but doing a little Sunday-morning quarterbacking, Vindy wonders just a bit why Bears didn’t stick with running game that was getting 7 yards a pop. Cal must stop Beavers’ wideout Hass. Cal defense does have more INTs (6) than aerial TDs allowed (4)...Cal 41 OSU 20
#19 Louisville over WEST VIRGINIA giving 7: For picking North Carolina, who lost 69-14 to the Cardinals, as his "upset pick of da’ week", Weber wins a cameo appearance in 49er’s next "diversity training" video! Cardinals’ two spread losses have come on the road, but they were laying three touchdowns or more in both cases...Louisville 34 WVU 24
#20 OREGON over Washington giving 15 1/2: Gang Green defense put the clamps on Arizona State after spotting the Sun Devils a 10-point cushion. We think UDUB caught UCLA looking ahead to Cal. Ducks should light it up frequently...Decoys 42 Sled Dogs 17
#21 Auburn over ARKANSAS giving 7 1/2: Home team has fared well against the line and Auburn hits the road for the first time all year. Hogs’ struggles, however, give Vin little hope of Arkansas staying this close. Following criticism for trying to justify a BCS spot given its soft non-conference schedule in 2004, Tigers have cancelled 2006 games vs. ESPNU, the College of Cardinals and Gene Simmons’ Rock School...Auburn 24 Razorbacks 10
#23 Wisconsin @ #22 MINNESOTA: OFF
#25 TEXAS CHRISTIAN over Army giving 23: Yes, the Toads got seven (count ‘em, seven!) turnovers from Wyoming and have generally squeaked by its other competition to-date. Keydets have covered only once in five attempts and Iowa State seems to have folded after belting rival Iowa. Vin would take the (West) points if this were in New York...TCU 45 Army 13
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
With last week’s outright win over Iowa State, Baylor is now 4-1 straight up this year and 11-2-1 ATS in its last 14 games! Bears also got a vote in this week’s AP Poll and cashed Vindy’s only winning ticket last week!
After Colorado State stuffed the Utes in a goal line situation last week, Karl Rove admitted revealing the meaning of Utah signals as calling the "QB sneak", but contends he did nothing wrong since he did not name a specific player!
UNLV kicker Sergio Aguayo converted not one, but two 52-yard field goals in win over San Diego State. Maybe the Philadelphia Eagles would like to borrow his services while David Akers recuperates on the sidelines!!
Part of Weber’s NHL marketing strategy also includes building a few open-air venues near bodies of water so fans can rent kayaks, listen to the games on the radio and retrieve pucks shot high over the wall into the water, akin to San Francisco’s McCovey Cove! To save a few dollars in a time when gas prices are prohibitive, Zamboni machines will stay parked and arenas will go to the grounds crew concept, having several individuals side-by-side dragging women’s heating pads along the ice surface to groom it between the periods! (No pun intended!)
If, as reported, steroids lead to shrinkage of the testicles, Jose Canseco should be able to have his set in a lovely pair of earrings! At least, then, if he looked in a mirror, he could still see them dangling!
More diamond dirt...in August, Reds’ hurler Jung Keun Bong was arrested on charges of domestic battery following an altercation with his wife. Potential headlines the next day coulda’ read, "Police Respond to Home After Bong Hit!"
"Locked in a Box?": Now 1-5 courtesy of last play TD by UCLA to cover vs. Cal.
Vindy’s Week 7 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-1 Season: 10-10 (.500)
SYRACUSE -2 over Rutgers, Tulsa -7 over RICE, NORTHERN ILLINOIS -19 over Eastern Michigan, Oklahoma State +18 ½ over TEXAS A&M