NCAA Names "Enshrined" On Mars Maps
LA CANADA FLINTRIDGE, California (BBC)...International Astronomical Union members received permission from the NCAA this week to use references to college football to name rock formations and other landscape features and regions on the surface of Mars. The names, though, unofficial, will provide convenient labels for scientists here at the Jet Propulsion Lab charged with mapping the topography of the Red Planet as photos come back from various Martian rover missions. With thousands of other names already exhausted, certain depressions on Mars will be labeled as "The Swamp" and "The Horseshoe", while a yet-standing short, stout rock formation showing signs of damage from passing meteors and asteroids will bear the name "Rudy". Perhaps punctuating the newly-named region will be the oldest known hill, which scientists will simply call... "JoPa".
In related news, Weber went 7-10 in Week 7 (49-69, .415 season) and will allow the IAU to honor his forecast by tagging a series of Martian sinkholes as "Vindy’s Picks!" Heyyyyyy...WAIT a minute!!!!!!
THE WEBER KID’S 2005 WEEK 8 FORECAST
(More evidence against "intelligent design". Although, natural selection can’t explain the complexities of the BCS!)
THURS. OCT. 20
#3 Virginia Tech over MARYLAND giving 11: Hokies throttled the Terps 55-6 last year. Both clubs come in rested off a bye week and Marcus Vick continues to lead Tech much the way his brother Michael did. Barring fumbles, can’t see VT faltering here. Tech has been one of the few bright spots in Weber’s forecast, producing wins 10 times in last 12 appearances in the picks...Virginia Tech 34 Box Turtles 13
SAT. OCT. 22
WASHINGTON over #1 Southern Cal taking 30 1/2: Best guess for "wish I had it back". Trojans have dropped three consecutive outings vs. the line. While Huskies are having a dismal year, they’ve lost only once in 2005 by this much. UDUB scored 17 on Notre Dame...USC 40 Sled Dogs 20
#10 Texas Tech over #2 TEXAS taking 16: Red Raiders showed no mercy vs. K-State, continuing to throw long despite having the game well in-hand late in the 4th Quarter. Expect a ton of points. Frankly, Vindicator was shocked (SHOCKED!) to see 25 rushing attempts by Tech in last week’s boxscore...Texas 45 Texas Tech 38
Arkansas over #4 GEORGIA taking 19: ‘Dawgs have covered only two of last five prior to World’s Largest Cocktail Party game vs. Florida. Joja’ is no bargain at 3-3 ATS. If ‘Hogs have any pride left, they’ll show it here... UGA 27 Razorbacks 13
#5 ALABAMA over #17 Tennessee giving 3 ½: According to Sports Illustrated, ‘Bama QB Brody Coyle bears a striking resemblance to Ringo Starr. Apparently Brody and his teammates played like the former Beatles drummer as Tide eked out a last second 13-10 victory over Ol’ Miss. Alabama needs this to stay ahead of LSU in the SEC West. Vols need the "W" to get back in the conference race...Tide 24 Vols 17
#6 MIAMI over Georgia Tech giving 16: Bees fizzled after impressive opening win over Auburn en route to 3-0 start. Yes, they ultimately beat up on Duke, but not before being down 10-7 to the Blue Devils at the intermission. ‘Canes will be rested having scored...uh... zippo... against Temple in the second half last week. If they aren’t delayed by Wilma...Miami 30 GT 9
#16 Auburn over #7 LSU taking 6 ½: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. Aubie stole a 10-9 triumph in 2004. Bengals are 0-2 ATS "at-home" thus far. LSU managed to survive 5 turnovers versus Florida...Auburn 24 LSU 17
Oregon State over #8 UCLA taking 9 1/2: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. Bruins are one of the most fortunate 6-0 teams Vindy’s ever seen and the youth finally rears its ugly head. Beavers ambush UCLA to grab back-to-back upsets...OSU 34 Bruins 31
#9 NOTRE DAME over Brigham Young giving 20: Irish know they had a huge win get away and with 2-2 Mountain West record, Cougars might be more interested in next week’s tussle vs. Air Force. BYU has covered 8 of last 11 when getting road points, however...ND 42 BYU 10
DUKE over #11 Florida State taking 30: Take away 58-yard touchdown run and Seminoles got all of 37 yards on 20 carries vs. Virginia. Cavs only posted 20 yards on 28 carries in that game. Until the Injuns decide to execute some offense during the first 30 minutes of a match, we’ll grab da’ handicap...FSU 41 Duke 17
#12 Penn State over ILLINOIS giving 17: Lions can certainly take some of the blame for loss at Michigan last week due to poor tackling, poor kick coverage and two missed field goals, but for those who didn’t see the game, the zebras were definitely on the Ann Arbor payroll, missing a face-mask penalty and badly spotting the ball three times vs. State...Lions 31 Illini 10
#13 Boston College: IDLE (next @ Virginia Tech 10/27)
#14 Ohio State over INDIANA giving 15 1/2: Only second time Buckeyes have played away from the Horseshoe this season. State could probably bench the offense and win this simply with defense and special teams. Throw in the "O" and we like...OSU 24 Indy 0
#15 Oregon over ARIZONA giving 9: Wildcats’ loss to Stanford shows they ain’t quite there yet under Mike Stoops. Cal has to visit Autzen Stadium next week, so nothing to suggest Mallards can’t handle this...Ducks 34 AZ 16
#18 Florida: IDLE (next vs. Georgia)
#19 WISCONSIN over Purdue giving 7 1/2: Cheese-heads are lucky to still be wearing the "#"! Up 3 over Wisky with half-a-minute left and punting from his own end zone, did Gophers coach Mason simply not think about taking an intentional safety or did he not trust his own swiss-cheese defenders? With the Badgers’ special teams and recently-discovered Arena League stop-squad of its own allowing 109 points the last three weeks and Purdue allowing nothing less than 24 all season, the "over"(60) might be the best call...Rodents 41 Boilers 30
#20 West Virginia over SOUTH FLORIDA giving 2: Bulls get a home game sandwiched between four away contests. Somebody might be makin’ too much of USF’s demolition of Louisville. Mountaineers suddenly look like the class of the Big Least. With only a home game vs. Pitt, gotta’ think West Virginia has the inside track to the conference crown and the BCS berth...WVU 20 South Florida 13
#21 Texas Christian over AIR FORCE (Pick ‘Em): Wouldn’t surprise Vin to see Falcons win this...big! Toads have found way to win the close ones. Pilots haven’t. USAF can bowl with three wins in last four. No dis to Colorado State or SDSU, but this looks like Frogs’ toughest barrier to MWC crown...TCU 27 Jet Jockeys 24
Northwestern over #22 MICHIGAN STATE taking 12: "LOCK OF DA’ WEEK". Badgers and Boilermakers have fallen to NW. Vindy’s Lions probably should have too. Teams are too evenly matched on offense. Have to take the points. Upset is possible. We’ll just call it a shootout...MSU 34 ‘Cats 31
NORTH CAROLINA over #23 Virginia (Pick ‘Em): Key game for the bowl hopes of both sides. Cavs got by Florida State on the strength of five ‘Noles turnovers and 13 Injuns penalties. Backin’ the ‘Heels at home...UNC 24 Virginia 20
#24 Fresno State over IDAHO giving 29: Even UNLV beat the Vandals...FSU West 45 Idaho 3
Washington State over #25 CAL taking 12: Both squads have suffered consecutive
heartbreaking defeats the last two weeks and are collectively 16 total points away from a combined 11-0 record! Right now, Cal just needs a win, not a convincing one...Bears 27 Wazzou 20
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
The ‘dogs in Weber’s forecast have covered 60% on the year and 66% over the last three weeks. Chalk? Is there any chalk in the house?? Anywhere at all? How ‘bout a piece of limestone?!! Anyone?...ANYONE???!!!
Vindy’s Picks have been so cold lately, the Korean Baseball Organization now knows what happened to all the iced cabbage leaves it banned its players from using earlier this year!
This season’s bizarre string of losses: Florida State lost to Virginia, who lost to Maryland, who lost to Clemson, who lost to Wake Forest, who lost to Vanderbilt, who lost to Middle Tennessee, who lost to Akron, who lost to Central Michigan! Following the logic, FSU would lose to...Central Michigan!!!????
Miami was recently awarded the 2010 Super Bowl. Halftime entertainment will include then-16-year-old Elian Gonzales receiving his driver’s license, but not before hitting both pylons while parallel parking in the end zone!
Weber read an article referring to then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger as "the Vatican’s theological enforcer". "Theological enforcer?" Did he lead the Vatican hockey team in penalty minutes or what? Was he sent to the ice as a goon to rough up sinners on the opposing team when his club needed an emotional lift?!!!
Back in March, Twins catcher Mike Redmond was caught taking batting practice au natural! No word yet on whether Big Mike will get a promo gig for Desperate Housewives, replace Mickey Rooney for a Super Bowl commercial or land a detective role on NYPD Blue!
Touch ‘Em All!...While Vindy’s college picks far exceed anything Hoover or Electrolux ever put out, for the second time in as many seasons, Weber wins a piece of the Coast Casinos "Pick The Pros" contest pie, going a perfect 14-0 over this past Sunday and Monday. Normally, Vindicator would be ecstatic, but as his luck would have it, there were 91 (count ‘em, 91!!) other !@&$!@#!!!! sons-o’-beachballs who also went 14-0 on this week’s NFL games, severely reducing the amount of rubles Vindy will pocket!!!!
Regarding the recent Minnesota "Love Boat/Booze Cruise" scandal, Vin just wants to know how the Colorado Buffaloes got those Vikings uniforms and how they managed to move their recruiting parties that far East of Boulder! By the way, the body of water involved will be heretofore known as...Lake Minniskirta!
"Locked in a Box?": Ummmm...doesn’t "lock" mean the selected team is all but certain to beat the spread??? Buffaloes got crushed by Texas and Weber’s schlock of da’ week record continues to free-fall at 1-6!!!!!
Shoppe Talk: Gators bit Vindy again (and Weber happily accepts Florida’s bye this week!). So did Louisville (who mercifully falls outta’ the rankings this week!). Virginia returns to haunt our flabbergasted forecaster! The FSU Injuns are also nearby, whacking Weber 5 times in 5 at-bats!
Vindy’s Week 8 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3 Season: 11-13 (.458)
Nebraska +3 over MISSOURI, Hawaii -7 over SAN JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS STATE, OHIO -7 ½ over Ball State