Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Vindy's Picks Week 4-2009


LAS VEGAS, Nevada (UPI)...Just two weeks into its existence, Vindy’s B&B was caught“behind the line of sausage” (which is about to be added to the menu in the form of several foot-long pork links on an elongated plate) by officials from the Clark County Health District, who lowered the health department rating from “A” to “B” after issuing citations for ”Illegal Touching” or “Ineligible Line-Cook Downfield” upon discovering the one person on Vindy’s crew handling food who doesn’t have a valid “green card”! The Weber Kid got a few demerits too for “slime on the Gatorade bucket nozzles”. There was also some staff turnover in wake of the inspection as a waiter was cut after he drew multiple personal-foul calls for “roughing the cashier” and “late hit” after giving an extra shove to a patron who was already outta’ the restaurant! Adding insult to injury was an unexpected visit by Hell’s Kitchen chef Gordon Ramsey, who made such comments as “You call this a #$!&%@*!! pancake block???!!!! You’re !@@(^%#@!! bookie can make a better $!!#(#$@!” pancake block than this!!!”

Vindicator avoided the usual Week Three debauchery, going a harmless 10-10 (32-22, .592), but with 22 (count ‘em, 22!) games on tap this time, we’re feeling the need to change the pace by calling to the bench and trotting out Sarah Boyle, who lines up in the Wildcat to take the direct snap for...

(“Tailgate-tested, tailgate approved” [OK, it was Vindy’s own tailgate])

SOUTH CAROLINA over #4 Mississippi taking 3:
The Poultry opened 2007 with six straight-up wins in seven tries and five in seven last year (and coulda’ been 7-0 with a couple breaks). One of the Rebels four losses in ‘08 came vs. the Gamecocks. Carolina has beaten the line three times to-date this year (2-1 SU). Spurrier’s fielding a very young team this season, at least at the skill positions, but hey, it almost got by Joja’. We wouldn’t be totally shocked by an upset. In fact, let’s call it...Gamecocks 23 Ole Miss 21

#1 Florida over KENTUCKY giving 22:
First of four games away from the Swamp in six weeks for UF, who actually gets a rest after this one. Gators humiliated the Wildcats 63-5 last season, but while winning the last five outright, have also gone just 3-2 ATS. Kentucky returns just four defensive starters and is on 6-10 ATS slide against other SEC clubs, but has gone 7-4 ATS as a home dog. Tim Tea-Garden did not get a score thru the air for the first time in over two seasons. That’ll change here....Flu-rida? 44 Kentucky 20

Texas-El Paso over #2 TEXAS taking 36: ‘Horns won 42-13 in 2008. UTEP hosts upstart Houston next. Like Vindy’s alma mater, Texas has not been prone to crushing the competition, instead simply being satisfied with a victory. Being in the #2 hole affords the ‘Horns that mentality....Steers 40 Texas El-Pastrami 10

#3 ALABAMA over Arkansas giving 17 : Hogs have covered last three in Tuscaloosa, but are generally a 50-50 proposition vs. the conference. Razorbacks need to sure up the pass protection after yielding 46 sacks last year... Tide 27 Pigs 7

Iowa over #5 PENN STATE taking 9 1/2 : We almost “locked” Iowa here. Oddly, Lions have beaten the Hawkeyes just once in the past seven years. Iowa’s covered 4 of last 5 vs. State, including the only loss PSU would suffer in 2008. All four of Iowa’s losses came by 5 or less last season. Lions just 15-11 ATS giving points at Beaver stadium. Hawkeyes were Vindy’s darkhorse pick to win the Big Tenuous conference. Just win, baby!...Lions 13 Iowa 10

#6 California over OREGON giving 5 1/2: Bears have fired up the scoreboard for more than 50 twice already and covered last three tries vs. the Mallards. Decoys are 21-6 SU on the Pond and have a seeming “gimme” vs. Wazzou next, but Cal hosts USC after this one. Drakes have committed 8 turnovers through 3 games. Bears finished 2008 at +15 in turnover ratio and have bested the Ducks three years running...Berkeley 27 Oregon 20

#7 Louisiana State over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 13 1/2 : This got a brief look for lock. MSU floundering thru a 2-6 ATS spiral, but upset Vandy last week. Bengals are dismal facing the rest of the SEC, but have brought home the money in six of last seven against the Bulldogs, winning by an average of 42-6 (other than last year’s 10-point victory in Baton Rouge, laying 24). Safety and reliever for the Bengals national title baseball squad Chad Jones had two picks in win over the Ragin’ Cajuns. He also had 3 K’s and hit a batter!...LSU 24 MSU 7

#8 Boise State over BOWLING GREEN giving 17: Broncos had a pair of 100-yard rushers and two scoring plays of 60 or more yards in winning cover at Fresno, but themselves gave up three TD runs of 60+ to Ryan Matthews on his way to 234 yards on the ground. Falcons tend to be more pass-heavy. State won 20-7 last year but had Oregon on-deck at the time. Boise’s obviously already dispatched the Ducks. Bowling Green is 2-1 ATS and the one loss accounted Vindy’s only “best bet” in Week Three. Falcons have 7 covers in last 8 as home dogs, but other than this year’s opener vs. Troy, ya gotta’ go back to November 2003 to find last time Bee Gees were in that role...Boise 40 BGU 20

#9 Miami over #11 VIRGINIA TECH giving 2 ½ : Hokies lost 16-14 last year, but have 7 covers in 8 tries. Third ACC game already for Miami, who had been terrible ATS in conference play, but has two wins and covers this season. ‘Canes QB Jacory Harris has the hot hand. We’ll stay with the surging Pelicans...Miami 24 VT 17

#10 Oklahoma: IDLE (next @ Miami)

#12 USC over Washington State giving 46 : Wazzou entered the year on a 3-0 spread-win run, covering two hefty lines in losses and beating UDUB outright, getting about a touchdown. But unlike their Apple State brethren in Seattle, Coogs have shown no sign of improving on last year’s 2-11 SU campaign, losing by 26 at home to Stanford and by 18 to shaky Hawaii squad on neutral turf, before beating Southern Methadone OT last week. Troy visits Berkeley next week, but we think the Trojans regain some composure here....USC 48 Wazzou 0

Illinois over #13 OHIO STATE taking 14 : Last three years, the bouts between these two have been decided by 7, 7 and 10. Illini off a bye week and have just one winning SU season under Coach Zook. Turnover-margin could be the key for the Buckeyes with Illini losing 6 of 7 games last year in which they were -1 or -2 in turnovers. State now just 4-8 ATS laying points at the Shoe the past two-plus seasons. UI on 1-5 ATS slide back to 2008...OSU 29 Illini 17

#14 CINCINNATI over Fresno State giving 16 : We gave some solid consideration for lock here. Another tough outing for Fresno, who travels again after letting Boise pull away late to get the cover in Bulldogs’ 17-point loss. Wisconsin and Boise were both younger on at least one side of the ball than Fresno. Not so with the Bearkats. FSU West beat Rutgers last year on the Jersey Turnpike, but that Knights squad dropped its first five FBS games straight up...Cincy 38 Fresno 17

#15 Texas Christian over CLEMSON taking 2 : Tigers are 3-0 ATS this season, yet just 2-5 vs. non-conference teams the past two years. Toads are 8-5 ATS vs. non-conference and have only a pair of SU losses to BCS conference schools (Texas and Oklahoma). With BYU and Utah fallen, Frogs get to carry the Mountain Best banner toward a BCS bowl...Horny Toads 20 Tigers 17

Grambling @ #16 OKLAHOMA STATE: No line.

#17 HOUSTON over Texas Tech giving 1: First meeting in over a decade. Tech was 11-2 SU last year, but just 5-5-1 against the number (thus Vindy’s nightmare).Coogs got a bye following the upset of Oklahoma State and this has shootout written all over it. Hope Coach Sumlin isn’t still miffed over that whole “lock of da’ week” thing from Week Two!...Houston 45 The Boogie Man 42

#18 FLORIDA STATE over South Florida giving 14 1/2: Yeah, five BYU turnovers helped, but it seems the ‘Noles are done sulking over loss to Miami. Bulls’ season just took a major downturn with the loss of QB Matt Grothe. First challenge of the year for USF, who had beaten only a pair of double-A teams and Sun Belt’s Western Kentucky, who fell last week to I-AA Central Arkansas...Injuns 35 USF 16

Colorado State over #19 BYU taking 15 : LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Break up the Rams! On the strength of opening road upset over the Buffaloes, Colorado State has posted three wins, all as dogs, and lost a shootout to the Cougars last season. With BCS talk done, Coogs can get back to usual run to post-season berth in Sin City. State’s been a more reliable wager at home than away, but...Mormons 30 CSU 24

#20 KANSAS over Southern Miss giving 13 1/2 : Golden Eagles own three outright victories, but no spread wins this year. SoMiss went 3-1 ATS getting points on the road in 2008, but one of those came at Arkansas State and another came vs. very wobbly Auburn team. Jayhawks now 11-1 ATS as home faves. Duke actually led 7-0 midway thru the first quarter last week vs. KU. Unless Reesing goes down with an injury, two scores looks doable...Jayhawks 34 Eagles 17

Arizona State over #21 GEORGIA taking 12 1/2 : Where in the world did the vaunted Joja’ D go after holding Oklahoma State to 24 points???!!! ‘Dawgs and Hogs combined for 193 penalty yards, yet finished with a combined offensive yardage total over the 1K mark! Final totals on Georgia’s last two games have been 78 and 93! Sun Devils have averaged 44 ppg thru their first two (albeit vs. the C-listers). Track meet...Joja’ 35 ASU 33

GEORGIA TECH over #22 North Carolina giving 2 1/2 : Against Miami, the Bees D went quietly back to the hive in the second half for the second straight game. Tech 0-2 ATS thus far and haven’t covered last five vs. the ‘Heels (including last year’s 28-7 loss). Meanwhile, Carolina’s covered five straight vs. ranked teams, including three outright wins in ‘08. Somebody wanted the total to go “under 54" in the Tech-Miami game. The game finished at 50 courtesy of two missed Miami FGs and a procedure call that made the Jackets go for 1 instead of 2 following its own 4th Quarter score. Bees have gone 18-5 SU at home since start of 2006. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me, twice...uh...won’t get fooled again (we think we heard a president say that once!). Fool me a third’s “Get the RAID”!...Wreck 19 UNC 13

#23 MICHIGAN over Indiana giving 20 1/2: Wolverines did not succumb to the letdown last week vs. EMU and appear to have the rushing game in fine form. Hoosiers have three victories in three tries this year (2-0 ATS) and could end up bowl-eligible by season’s end, but have gone 7-11 ATS as road doggies. Indy last faced Big Blue in 2006's 34-3 Michigan win in Bloomington and has exactly one winning SU season and one winning spread season this decade despite being nearly even in turnover ratio the past two years. Michigan had been on 11-4-1 spread run vs. the rest of the conference before last year’s 2-6...UM 38 UI 13

#24 Washington over STANFORD taking 7: Cardinal’s covered four of last five vs. UDUB and can relate to the post-USC-upset mode. Trees suffered a 38-36 home loss to TCU the week after dropping the Trojans in 2007. Stanford got the cover as a 6-point dog. How will the Sled Dogs handle their success going on the conference road? Steve Sarkisian has UDUB believing in itself....Huskies 23 Trees 20

#25 NEBRASKA over Louisiana-Lafayette giving 26 : Two turnovers killed the Huskers in last minute, one-point loss during the field-goal fest at Virginia Tech, but Children of the Corn should have no problem whacking their third Sun Belt foe in last four games....Big Red 41 UL-Lafayette 9

Checking out this week’s menu at the B&B, we find...A quad of dishes for the primadonnas in the family...”The Terrell Owens”, The Randy Moss”, “The Keyshawn Johnson” and the “Ocho Cinco”....all consisting of...hotdogs and whine! The All-Out Blitz”...the entire wait-staff brings everything they got to your table! And if you’re thirsty, try a nice, piping hot “Under the Salary Cappucino” (caution: this one may necessitate cutting or trading a person your table to keep it affordable!)

Following the Vols’ loss to the Gators, there was no auditory evidence of Lane Kiffin singing “Rocky Top”, though neighbors in Knoxville say it might have been the coach belting out the Beatles’ “Rocky Raccoon” and select tunes from Rocky Horror Picture Show! (And we’re guessing mere 10-point victory didn’t exactly leave Urban Meyer crooning “We Will Rock You”!)

Bears LB Brian Urlacher has been lost for the season with an injury. Not to worry, Chicago signed Aretha Franklin’s presidential inauguration hat to a one-year contract! BTW, the headgear was credited with four tackles and half-a-sack in Bears’ 17-14 over the Steelers last Sunday!)!

Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Video Awards, noting the award should’ve gone to Beyonce, who was also nominated in the Best Female Video category for “Single Ladies”. Hey! We know that one. The lyrics go “If ya liked it, then ya shoulda’ put a Super Bowl ring on it.”, right???!!

This spring, the Dolphins renamed their home park to Landshark Stadium as part of the partnership with Jimmy Buffett. In related news, the Detroit Lions and the Oakland Raiders have also gone SNL-retro and changed the monikers of their gridiron venues to Roseanne Roseannadanna Field and Coneheads Park, respectively (with the commensurate concessionaire motto of “consume mass quantities”!). Be sure to stop by the Samurai Deli for a Schwetty Wiener!

Michael Phelps: Part Three- Phelps passed up an August audience at the Vatican to reportedly rest up for an upcoming race. We think he simply backed out after learning the rendevous was to be with a pope, not a pipe! His teammates picked up his slack to win gold at the world championships in the 400-meter freestyle relay. Coulda’ been the hit he stopped to take in the final turn of his part of the relay...just a thought! In July, a medical marijuana facility in the City of Angels was ablaze in a big way. Upon hearing the news, Michael selflessly hopped a jet, flew across the country and dashed into the burning building to...uh... “look for folks trapped inside”! Come to think of did Ricky Williams! Following a comment made by the president related to bed-wetting over healthcare reform, Mike took up residence in our nation’s capitol because all he heard Obama say was “...going into September, everybody in Washington gets weed!”

Last week, Las Vegas Oscar Goodman let it be known he was considering a run for governor next year. Earlier, the Las Vegas mayor actually discussed the possibility with Jesse Ventura, who did so successfully running as “The Body”. We figure Hizzoner, a reputed former mob lawyer, will make a gubernatorial run campaigning as Oscar “Hide Da’ Body” Goodman! (OK, wrestling is a stretch as a “sport”. Work with me here!)

Black Shirt: goes this week to Oregon safety John Boyett for snaring an INT at his own 5-yard line to keep the final margin at 7, preserving a forecast W for Vindy.

“Wish I Had That One Back”: We’d like to rescind our pick of Joja’ Tech over Miami after noting Bees’ vulnerability to the big pass play and pass-catching prowess of ‘Canes WR Travis Benjamin.

“Locked in a Box?”: The Kansas Jayhawks hung enough points on Duke to bump the lock record to 2-1 (.667).

Shoppe Talk: The Cattle of Texas hang around with their third straight forecast loss. Joining them...the team they failed to cover against...(GASP!) Texas Tech (0-1, but now 2-11 back to last season!). We’re also getting a cloth calendar and stuffing the crap outta’ Thursday nights (1-3)!

Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: 5-7 (.417)
Rutgers -2 ½ MARYLAND, Buffalo +2 ½ over TEMPLE, Vanderbilt -8 over RICE, UL-Monroe +4 over FLA ATLANTIC

Until next week...”No shirt, no shoes, no spreads.”

No comments: