Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Vindy's Picks Week 9-2013


The Tennessee Volunteers will meet the Hokies of Virginia in September of 2016 at the local motor speedway. Both squads, however, will face unique challenges at the venue. Players must wear racecar driver helmets and will need a lot of stamina, with no time-outs being called, but players can pull into Pit Row to get water or Gatorade, and new cleats, which must be applied by equipment managers using an air-wrench. Defenses and coverage squads will be at the advantage as all crossing-patterns and kick-returns must go right-to-left. Yellow flags won’t be indicative of penalties, but rather will signal caution when athletes are injured. As a result, players on both sides must stay within their respective on-field positions while following a pace-car around the perimeter of the field until the injured player has been moved from the playing area. Following completion of the game, a designated coach or team captain can spray the winning squad with champagne or milk, as desired!

We’re still wipin’ the tire-treads off our face after Week Eight’s season-worst outing of 7-13 (68-60-4, .531), but with Danica Patrick ridin’ “shotgun”, we’re burnin’ rubber and wavin’ da’ checkered flag at…

(Still beatin’ Danny Zuko and Leo Balmudo to da’ finish line!)

#1 ALABAMA (-28) over Tennessee: Tide 41 Vols 10

#2 OREGON (-23) over #12 Ucla: Both clubs absorbed their first spread-losses of the year, unfortunately for the Bruins, it came with their initial outright defeat as well. Drakes were sloppy in non-cover vs. Wazzou. UCLA couldn’t run or defend the run at Stanford. A repeat of that stat won’t produce a better ending here…Mallards 49 UCLA 24

#3 FLORIDA STATE (-31) over NC State: No letdown spot as Seminoles cruised vs. Clemson. ‘Noles have embarrassed the true contenders on the schedule thus far and history says Miami ain’t a distraction with FSU covering each of last four games prior to meeting the Hurricanes. Wolfpack has lost three of last four games SU on the season, including back-to-back defeats by Syracuse and Wake Forest?! Unless Russell Wilson hops a flight outta’ Seattle and suits-up…Da’ Chop 44 NCSU 10

Penn State (+14 ½) over #4 OHIO STATE: Lions finally found an offense against a worthy opponent in 4OT win over Michigan, who blew a 10-point mid-4th Quarter edge. We’re hopin’ that momentum carried thru the bye week to hang around long enough to cover vs. Buckeyes, who still haven’t taken a conference match this season by more than 10 after 34-24 victory vs. Iowa (who also had a bye week prior to OSU game). Nitwit Lions have allowed big points in three of last for games, Freshman QB Hackenberg makes his first trip to Da’ Shoe and 20-point defeat at Indy still haunts us, but PSU is 13-5 SU in Big Tentacle tilts the past 2+ years, so we’ll say…Ohio State 31 WE ARE 24

#20 South Carolina at #5 MISSOURI: OFF And we ain’t crushed about that! For all the success we’ve had tryin’ pick the Cacciatore ATS, we coulda’ easily just tossed a coin, best of three flips (see Shoppe Talk below). Pick ‘em to cover, they look like a Big Least squad. Pick ‘em to not cover…Shaw and Davis activate their Wonder-Twin powers and become the Oregon Ducks! Poultry did not dent the scoreboard in the 4th Quarter, but Shaw played the first 10 minutes of the final period before leaving with an injury. Tigers have beaten a division rival that had no defense (Joja’) and one last week that didn’t field an offense (Florida). SC has both, but it wouldn’t shock us if Mizzou pulled off the hat trick, even without its own starting QB.

#6 Baylor (-35) over KANSAS: Bears like to pile-on and have a bye prior to Oklahoma. Blue Birds have posted consecutive spread-wins vs. a pair of defensive-minded teams, Sooners and Froggies, the past two weeks…on the strength of plus-three turnover margins in each of those…Baylor 57 Rock Chalk 17

Wake Forest (+23) over #7 MIAMI: ‘Canes 28 Deacs 10

#8 Stanford (-4) over OREGON STATE: Trees 34 Beavers 27

#9 Clemson (-13 ½) over MARYLAND: Both teams were expected to pose at least some threat to the ‘Noles, but combined, the two suffered losses to the collective tune of 114-14. How the Tigers respond to their loss is about to be determined, but the Terps have been a mess, with a minus-six turnover ratio in 27-26 victory over struggling Virginia (2-5 SU) and 24-10 loss at Wake Forest, giving up 812 yards of offense over that span. Clemson never had a chance in 51-14 loss after gift-wrapping a pair of first quarter turnovers for Da’ Chop and Tigers coach Dabo Swinney was quoted this week as saying his boys would split a 10-game series with Florida State. That claim would gain a little cred with a cover here…CU 34 Box Turtles 17

#10 Texas Tech (+7) over #17 OKLAHOMA: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Guns Up 27 Spooners 24

Florida Atlantic (+24) over #11 AUBURN: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Nice spot for an Owls’ cover…a non-SEC game sandwiched between Tigers’ closely-fought upset win over A&M and Auburn’s trip to Arkansas next week. FAU wasn’t expected to do much in 2013, but we’ve cashed a few tickets with its help and the Barnyard Birds have held their own ATS, going 6-1 to-date, including two upset victories over UAB and South Florida (as 18-point underdogs!). Under now-second year coach Carl Pelini, Owls have 13 spread-wins thus far after recording just 10 total in the previous three seasons and have gone 12-1 in last 13 away-dog chances. FAU had a mighty good Marshall team on its heels to the final play last week…War Eagle 29 FAU 12

Furman @ #13 LSU: No line.

Vanderbilt (+18) over #14 TEXAS A&M: Aggies 42 Vandy 31

#15 Fresno State (-9) over SAN DIEGO STATE: Bulldogs fell short of the spread last week, beating UNLV by 24, but we wouldn’t consider the Rebels to be significant ‘dogs to SDSU at this point. Aztecs getting some respect following trio of victories of late, but beating New Mexico State, Reno and Air Force don’t really excite us. There is a respectable four-point loss to Oregon State on the books, but ‘Dogs are still the class of the conference…Fresno State 34 San Diego State 23

Duke (+13 ½) over #16 VIRGINIA TECH: VT 24 Duke 16

#18 Louisville (-20) over SOUTH FLORIDA: Cardinals 35 USF 10

IOWA STATE (+13 ½) over #19 Oklahoma State: OKSU 34 Cyclones 27

#21 CENTRAL FLORIDA (-23) over Connecticut: Second choice for “lock”. Huskies are 1-4 against the number and one of the nation’s six remaining winless clubs and averaging just north of 16 ppg, despite reasonable efforts in 13-10 home loss to bad South Florida squad and four-point defeat vs. Michigan. Even with a lethargic opening-15 minutes as the result of upsetting Louisville, rallying from a three-score hole in the 3rd Quarter, Knights should have enough to cover this… UCF 41 UConn 9

#22 Wisconsin: IDLE (next @ IOWA)

Eastern Michigan (+30 ½) over #23 NORTHERN ILLINOIS: Changed our original choice here. Best guess for “wish I had it back” pick as Beagles have allowed opponents to score fitty or more in three of previous four matches to lesser-quality teams, so this is more of a vote against NIU’s defense than it is in favor of EMU…Huskies 51 Ypsilanti Auks 24

#24 Michigan: IDLE (next @ Michigan State)

#25 Nebraska (-10 ½) over MINNESOTA: Children of da’ Corn 35 Gophers 17


The NIU Huskies, favored by 16 over Central Michigan, but up just 14 in the final minutes, got a second chance when the Fab Forecaster was flagged for the first time this year for pushing a member of his preseason forecasting team into the bookies’ offensive formation!

Last June, a top Rivals football prospect said a coach tried to sway him with a proposed opportunity to meet Michael Jackson. The recruit was smart to rebuff the coach, knowing MJ was already dead. The offending coach countered with an offer to meet Tito Jackson instead. Personally, “ya had us at ‘Bubbles’!” We also woulda’ signed on the dotted-line to meet LOTR’s Peter Jackson or Action Jackson (raise yer hand if yer old enough to remember Action Jackson!)!! (“Action Jackson…is his name! Prognostication…is his gaaaaame!!!”)

Peyton and Eli Manning did a short-lived rap video/commercial for Football On Yer Phone. We await the highly-anticipated collaboration with MC Hammer to do…”Can’t Touchdown This”! (Anybody else out there picturing da’ Manning brothers in balloon-pants?!... “StopManning-time!”)

On AMC…World Series zombie-pitchers commit illegal moves on the da’ freshly-dug mound that advance opposing-runners in…the “Balking Dead”!

Prior to eventually getting asylum, Wiki-Leaker Edward Snowden spent a lotta’ time in the Moscow Airport transit-zone….musta’ been like six weeks in the NHL trapezoid…he couldn’t play the puck behind the net outside the designated area without incurring a penalty.

Black Shirt: Goes to Texas Tech WR Jace Amaro for haulin’-in a 10-yard TD-reception vs. the Mounted Ears of West Virginia with 61 seconds left to give the Red Raiders (and our humble host) a win against the line!

“Locked in a Box?”: UCLA let us down badly, losing by two touchdowns at Stanford and lowering the record to 3-4-1 (.429).

Shoppe Talk: The Pot Pies of South Carolina (1-6, .143) lost outright to Tennessee! We’re trimming da’ Trees after Stanford did us wrong (0-4 skid, 1-5 last 6, 2-5 overall). Old Mist and the Horny Toads get put on “watch” status, both at 1-3 (.250) of late!

Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 23-13 (.639)
Temple +11 ½ over SMU, RICE -17 over Texas-El Paso, Wyoming +7 over SAN JOSE STATE, Georgia State +13 ½ over WEEZIANA-MONROE, North Texas -10 ½ over SOUTHERN MISS

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