Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Vindy's Picks Week 9-2015
YANKEE UNIVERSITY PERPETRATES INTERNATIONAL “TRICK-NO-TREAT”XINXIANG, China (BBC)…Local administrators allowed middle-schoolers to take a final exam at desks amidst nicely-arranged groups of trees near a local educational facility to provide a more-soothing environment. In a cruel prank however, concocted by folks at Palo Alto, California, it turns out the “trees”-in-question were merely Stanford students wearing traditional mascot garb, who eventually bolted away from the 7th and 8th graders, mumbling something from the Lord of the Rings trilogy about “Isengard” and “da’ last march of da’ Ents, noting it was “likely that we go to our doom.”!
We started slow, heading into Saturday’s tilts at just 1-2 (blowin’ yet-another Top 25 prediction based on a total), before catchin’ a second-wind, but ultimately could not fend-off a flurry of losses, finishing the fortnight at 8-9 (67-75-3, .472). With Halloween on the horizon, more-frightenin’ then Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, Leatherface and Dr. Frank-N-Furter all rolled into one, it’s…
THE WEBER KID’S 2015 WEEK 9 FORECAST
(Seein’ more action than a Louisville basketball recruit!)THURS. OCT. 29
West Virginia (+14) over #5 TCU: Both come in having spent some extra time-off. Two of last three in this series have gone to at least one overtime period. Mounties 31-30 defeat last season kicked-off a three-game SU losing streak. ‘Eers on current 0-3 SU/ATS slide and face fourth straight ranked opponent. But the Froggies visit Stillwater next week and after yielding just 19 ppg last year, are granting almost 39 points per game in 2015, including 37 in home-win vs. Southern Methadone University…TCU 49 WVU 41North Carolina (-3) over #23 PITTSBURGH: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. We concur with the line, which suggests the Tarheels have been lying in wait for this one vs. Panthers squad that has won four consecutive matches by a touchdown or less and has seen six of eight overall decided by eight or fewer points…Carolina 23 Pitt 17
SAT. OCT. 31#1 Ohio State: IDLE (next vs. Minnesota)
#2 Baylor: IDLE (next 11/5 @ Kansas State)#3 Clemson (-10 ½) over NC STATE: For the Game of Thrones fans, Vindy pushed Tigers coach Dabo Swinney out the Moon Door, ahead of Clemson’s 58-0 shutout of Miami, because he wanted “to see the halftime-man ‘fly’!” While we certainly didn’t anticipate that kinda’ margin-of-victory, now-former Miami coach Al Golden was kicked to da’ curb as a result, like we predicted in Week 8. Wolfpack, 4-2 ATS, rebounded from a pair of tough losses vs. the Carnals…er…um…Cardinals…and the Hokies…by whackin’ Wake Forest last week. The D has been solid, allowing only two opponents more than 20 points and CU faces a CFP survival game next vs. the Seminoles, but… Tigers 27 NC State 14
#4 Louisiana State: IDLE (next 11/7 vs. Alabama)#6 Michigan State: IDLE (next @ Nebraska)
#7 Alabama: IDLE (next vs. LSU)WASHINGTON STATE (+11 ½) over #8 Stanford: Despite 45-42 track-meet at Arizona, can’t see bucking the momentum of the surging Cougars, who’ve won 5 of 6 after dropping opener to FCS Portland State. Trees look for sweep of Apple State teams following win over UDUB (Cardinal’s first spread-loss in six games)… Stanford 44 Wazzou 37
#21 TEMPLE (+10) over #9 Notre Dame: Leprechauns got a bye last week. Owls have three outright triumphs when getting points on the year and have covered 5 of 7 overall. Irish have been unreliable as road chalk. Temple grudgingly allows points-against and has cashed four tickets in as many opportunities against the Top 25. TU didn’t close out “upset” at ECU until final 3:30 to play, but how’s this for our UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK???!!! ... Barnyard Birds 27 Catholics 24Maryland (+17) over #10 IOWA: With Nebraska falling by the wayside, Hawkeyes only remaining challenge to a perfect regular-season looks to be a road-trip to Indy next week. Terps have played some inspired ball since 28-zip defeat by the Wolverines and punted just twice in 1-point loss to Penn State last weekend...Iowa 31 Turtles 20
#11 Florida (-2 ½) over Georgia (@ Jacksonville, FL): We find no compelling reason to think Crocs won’t win and cover this. RB Nick Chubb had 7 rushing touchdowns before injury sidelined him for the rest of the year. Dawgs have recorded 0 rushing scores in the past two games and have lost three consecutive matches overall. Gators won big in last season’s edition following three Cocktail Party victories by Joja’. UGA QB Lambert shows nice 9-2 TD-to-pick ratio but Florida has limited opponents to just 8 aerial touchdowns while grabbing 7 interceptions and allowing 55.5% completion. If that’s not enough, Georgia won 9-6 vs. Missouri “between the hedges”. Gators won 21-3 in Columbia. Neither FG-unit inspires confidence, so it could get interesting if it’s close late in the game, but…Florida 24 Georgia 17#12 Oklahoma State (-2 ½) over TEXAS TECH: Guns Up is 3-1 ATS in past tries as a home ‘dog, but none of those spreads were this close. Line might be respectful of shoulda’-been-victory vs. TCU, but ‘Pokes have the better D and can and will trade points on offense…State 34 Tech 28
#13 UTAH (-24) over Oregon State: Utes 38 Beavers 9KANSAS (+39) over #14 Oklahoma: Sooners 44 KU 10
#15 Michigan (-14) over MINNESOTA: Second choice for lock of da’ week. Wolverines hit the field after two weeks to stew about crazy loss to Michigan State. Big Blue has three shutouts already and leads the country in scoring defense. Gophers laid a goose-egg at Northwestern and could be on the wrong end of one here too… Michigan 24 Minny 3#16 MEMPHIS (-31) over Tulane: Tigers 49 Wave 13
Syracuse (+20) over #17 FLORIDA STATE: ‘Noles 28 ‘Cuse 13Vanderbilt (+11) over #18 HOUSTON: The irresistible-force meets the immovable-object. Admirals lost by 9 at Mississippi…Coogs 31 ‘Dores 23
#19 Mississippi (-7) over AUBURN: Fer da’ Twilight Zone fans in the readership, Tigers wished-away WR D’haquille Williams into the cornfield earlier this month for punchin’ four (count ‘em, four!) guys in a dispute over sunglasses. If ya listen closely to da’ jukebox, ya can hear… “My future’s so bright, I gotta’ wear….shades!” Ole Miss has lost 5 of the last 6 years in this contest, including 35-31 last season, but need this to stay just behind idle LSU for contention in the SEC West. Expect the Tigers to start out flat after coming back to tie Arkansas late 4th Quarter only to drop the game in 4OT…Rebels 29 Auburn 17#20 Toledo: IDLE (next 11/3 vs. Northern Illinois)
Miami @ #22 DUKE: OFFColorado (+21) over #24 UCLA: Bruins QB Josh Rosen was forced to wave “adios” to his in-room hot-tub this week. Seizing an opportunity to gain an edge, an anonymous Buffaloes graduate-assistant paid independent-contractors a few extra Jacksons to re-install the spa… in the visitors’ locker room!...UCLA 35 Colorado 19
#25 Mississippi State: IDLE (next 11/5 @ Missouri)BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, following a tumultuous offseason, the besieged No Ferns League, needing something positive, and thus taking a “kinder, gentler league” approach, agreed to establish similar conditions (overseen by the Department of the Interior) for draft-hopefuls taking the WonderlicTest at the 2016 Combine! To which we simply respond, “I am…Groot!”With the NBA regular-season underway this week, K-State band-director Frank Tracz will attempt to honor a certain famous baller by having his charges reenact Starfleet Academy’s Kobe Bryant Maru training exercise! In related news, Volkswagen has been accused of creating software that defeats toxic emissions tests. Capt. James T. Kirk quickly came to the defense of the auto-maker, saying V-Dub didn’t cheat, it “simply changed the conditions of the test.”
With Boise State invading Sin City this weekend, we follow-up on our thoughts from Week 3 regarding upgrades being made to Sam Boyd Stadium…we think costumed mobsters in the end zones might provide more of the desired home-venue advantage!!! The stadium-operator will also engage sound-effects of coins droppin’ outta’ slot-machines each time the Rebels score and will show a digital-graphic of a pull on a slot-machine that may award UNLV extra possessions or bonus point-multipliers! (How’s that fer psychological warfare/getting’ into the heads of the opponents???!!!). And much like casino table-game pits do, the officiating crew will change referees periodically or when the visiting team starts to score too often!Central Michigan offers a class comparing themes in modern-day flicks/TV series featuring post-apocalyptic scenarios, including zombies, etc., to those found in ancient Biblical content. Ironically, students found themselves reviewing Chippies game-film this week after their close-call at Ball State!
As promised, we propose a few more pigskin-related Beatles tunes in the wake of Week 8’s lead story…Julius Peppers’ Lonely Hearts-Club Band, Running Back Writer, Rocky Top Raccoon, She Came In Through the Locker Room Window and, of course,…Why Don’t We Don’t Do It In Da’ Road-Game!GEICO insurance commercial meets Halloween meets football….”It’s da’ final Count Dracula-down-and-distance”!
If we tune-in to the horror movie Child’s Playbook, will we hear the evil doll say, “Hi! My name’s Chucky…and I’ll be your friend to the tight end!” Or maybe…”to the end zone?” How ‘bout…“I’m Chucky! Wanna’ plaaaaaaaaaay-off?”Quoting Ash in one of our fave flicks, Bruce Campbell and the Army of Darkness…“Klaatuuuu…verata….(cough) Nitwit Lions…Nickle-back! (the position, not the band!)...Nicholls State!...Nickolodeon!...Nicole Kidman!” Fans of da’ movie know how that sequence turned-out!
Penn State has gone with the new NFL-type “FlyWire” collars on its uniforms this year. Reportedly, the collars “eliminate layers, reduce weight and provide lockdown fit”. The alma mater elected that option after initially testing “FlyPaper” collars, which simply attract and trap the insects-in-question around the neckline, giving players da’ heebie-jeebies!Major League Baseball is considering lowering the boom on teams that spray fans with champagne in celebration of advancement in the playoffs, as doing so violates league policy against having alcohol outside the locker room. We’ll pretend we know nothing about the price-gauging 16-oz cups of Bud Light being purchased and consumed by folks in the stands throughout the ballpark. In response, celebrating-teams will shower fans with the old “snakes-in-a-can” trick instead!
“Wish We Had It Back”: We called the Florida State-4 ½ over JOJA’ TECH match our “best guess” for this category and yup…Bees took the game outright. Honorable mention to our Utah +3 ½ over USC selection. We woulda’ still stayed with that choice, but woulda’ gone with second-option Houston as “lock” instead!“Locked in a Box?”: Two weeks straight now, our second-choice has come thru while our designated teams have not! Utah got its asterisk handed to it by USC, continuing our death-spiral, currently at 1-7 (.125).
Black Shirt: The prized-apparel is wingin’ its way to Duke quarterback Thomas Sirk for 379 combined rushing and passing yards that accounted for four scores, including game-winner in the 4th OT vs. favored-Virginia Tech!Shoppe Talk: We’re hanging a few less Tigers on the wall as Clemson finally put one in the win-column for us (1-5, .167, 4-14 last 18, .222) but in their places, we string-up a bunch of coonskin caps as Tennessee checks-in at 0-4 (.000). Meanwhile, we’re revokin’ the earlier-awarded Black Shirt for FSU mascot-steed Renegade in light of current 1-4 slide by Florida State!
Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 19-19 (.500)JOJA’ SUDDEN -21 over Texas State, Illinois +5 ½ over PENN STATE, NAVY -7 over South Florida, San Diego State -3 over COLORADO STATE, East Carolina -7 over UCONN, WAKE FOREST +11 ½ over Louisville, Oregon-ARIZONA STATE “over” 66