LEGENDARY
BAND TOURING COLLEGE CAMPUSES
EAST
RUTHERFORD, New Jersey (AP)…The Rolling Stones kicked-off a tour this summer in Atlanta at Bobby Dodd
Stadium, home of da’ Joja’ Tech Yellowjackets football team. The crowd went
nuts when Mick and the boys broke into a live version of “Bees of Burden”! The Nittany Lions concert choir subsequently accompanied
the famous rockers for a gig at Heinz Field, home of da’ Steelers, where media
overheard…”I see a *red zone* and I want to paint *Pitt* *black*”?! Other
venues on the slate include Raleigh, North Carolina and Kent, Ohio. Songs on
the playlist include “Sympathy for da’ Blue
Devils” and “Jumpin’ Jack Golden
Flash”, respectively! Promoters are reportedly scheduling a local date at
the Meadowlands, where Rutgers fans anxiously await singing along to such
lyrics as “I will be your Scarlet Knight..in
shi-ning ar-morrr…coming to your E-motionallll…Rescuuue”.
Vindy mustered a disappointing 7-10 result for last
week, failing to correctly pick a game featuring a team in the AP Top 8, but
saw his preferred selections (lock of da’ week and best bets) combine to go 6-2 (.750),
prompting your omniscient oracle to croon, “Ya’ can’t…al-ways git what ya
waa-aaannnt! Ya’ can’t..always git what ya waaa-aannnt! Ya’ can’t…always git what ya waaa-aannnt! But if ya try sometimes…you’ll fiiiind…ya
git what ya neeeed.” With the puck
droppin’ on the NHL regular season
tonight, from behind the photo of a goalie-masked Tim Thomas, kept inside his
driver’s side visor (raise yer hand if ya remember that commercial!), Vindy reveals…
THE
WEBER KID’S 2015 WEEK 6 FORECAST
(Servin’
“Five fer Fightin’-Irish”!)
THURS.
OCT. 8
Washington
(+17) over #17 USC: Trojans 31 Sled Dogs 17
SAT.
OCT. 10
#1
OHIO STATE (-33 ½) over Maryland: Best guess for “Wish We
Had It Back”. Will the Buckeyes, on
0-4 ATS slide, score 34 this week?! Once a quarterback instrumental in da’
Buckeyes national championship venture last season, Braxton Miller, at WR, has
basically been a non-factor to-date. State managed of all of a pair of FGs in
first-half vs. Indy squad not known for its defensive prowess. Following
yet-another slow start, just before the 3rd Quarter, Coach Meyer
called Uber and arranged rides to get
his offense downfield in the final 30 minutes. Likewise, Terps have a lot of
seniors on offense, but have produced just six total points over past two
weeks. Da’ Alma Mater visits Da’ ‘Shoe
next week…OSU 41 Terps 3
KANSAS
STATE (+9) over #2 Texas Christian: Frogger 34 KSU 31
KANSAS
(+44) over #3 Baylor: Marc Lawrence’s Playbook. Com recommends wagering against any undefeated team facing a winless club off an SU/ATS
loss starting in Week 5 forward. There were no match-ups meeting the criteria
in Week 5, but the forth- coming Saturday offers one such opportunity in this one
as da’ Bears have won all four of its game SU and the Jayhawks are winless and
coming off a spread-loss at Iowa State.
(We’re countin’ on ya here,
Marc!)…Baylor 57 Kansas 17
#4
Michigan State (-15) over RUTGERS: RU was on a bye while
State squeaked past Purdue after taking a 21-zip to the locker room at halftime.
Spartans have easily covered road games ahead of Michigan match in each of the
past two seasons. Collectively, these
teams are 0-8 ATS on the year. At the behest of presidential-wanna’-be Chris
Christie, Rutgers is piloting the governor’s proposal on immigration, enlisting
Fed-Ex technology to monitor the ongoing-whereabouts of opposing players who’ve
crossed state-lines into New Joisey for games in Piscataway vs. the Scarlet
Knights. When the game-clock shows zeroes, the opponents will receive
text-messages telling them it’s time to return to from whence they came! Data
on home-foes Norfolk State, Washington State and Kansas has already been
recorded and transmitted!...MSU 34 Garden State Parkway Paladins 17
#5
UTAH (-7) over #23 California: Utes 41 Bears 30
#6
CLEMSON vs. Georgia Tech (“Under 54 ½): Tigers 27 Bees 21
SOUTH
CAROLINA (+13) over #7 Louisiana State: Eastern Michigan scored
two touchdowns in a 38-second span of the 2nd Quarter and LSU let
off the throttle following a pick-six early in the final stanza, just running
out the clock for last 12 minutes of the game, up 22, to support our
dog-plus-44 selection! Poultry’s on 1-3 ATS skid, losing by 14 to Mizzou last
week. We don’t trust either side and let da’ coin make da’ call (you’ve been
duly-advised!). Last week, Starbucks
announced that from now on, it will only use eggs from cage-free chickens. In a
like move, the Gamecocks football team will field only cage-free athletes on
da’ gridiron!...Bengals 24 Nuggets 16
Arkansas
(+16 ½) over #8 ALABAMA: Tide 31 Soooeey Pigs 20
#9
Texas A&M: IDLE (next vs. Alabama)
Texas
(+16 ½) over #10 Oklahoma (@Dallas, TX): Steers have
faced three Top 25 opponents and been smoked by two of ‘em, but Sooners have a
more-dangerous game next week at Kansas State. Charlie Strong’s season is
slipping away quickly with Texas at 1-4 SU and if his team has any pride left
all, they’ll bring it here. We rely on the recent history of this series, which
shows Texas splitting the last two SU and covering
both (losing by just 5 in 2014). UT did a Game of Thrones-themed video
ahead of its Spring Game. We’re thinkin’ they’ll do one here too, reprising the
Red River Rivalry Wedding episode, to which we simply
respond…”The North Dallas-Forty Remembers.”…OK
31 ‘Horns 19
#11
Florida (-4½) over MISSOURI: Tigers seem to excel
when they’re getting very little love from the media and handicappers, but
minus the aforementioned win over South Carolina, Mizzou is truly struggling,
will be without suspended QB Maty Mauk (which actually might be a positive!) and is 1-3 ATS. Gators, going
back to last season, have now covered 8 of last 10 matches. Chomp looks fer a
little payback after getting’ bashed by Missouri in 2013 and 2014...Florida 20
Missouri 13
Miami
(+9 ½) over #12 FLORIDA STATE (“under 51): Settin’ a new
precedent, we’re selecting both a side and
a total on da’ same game!...FSU 23 ‘Canes 16
#13
Northwestern (+8) over #18 MICHIGAN: Big Blue has thrown
back-to-back shutouts and allowed just 14 total points in last four games.
Purple Persians white-washed Minny 27-0 last week and have allowed an average
of just 7 points per game over first five. Last March, Wolverines then-new head coach Jim Harbaugh satirically tempted DE
Boss Tagaloa to join Big Blue with a sign that read, “UM would be sour without
you, so let’s make it sweet Mich” after the De La Salle HS (California) player
got invited to his prom by a similar sign. No idea if the player will
ultimately select Ann Arbor, but Coach got himself several date-options for
Michigan’s Homecoming Dance this week!...UM 16 N-DUB 14
#14
MISSISSIPPI (-42) over New Mexico State: Ole Miss 63 NMSU
14
Navy
(+14 ½) over #15 NOTRE DAME: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Middies,
3-0 ATS in FBS competition, were busy trashin’ Air Force last week while Irish
may have left it on the field, scoring 19 of final 22 4th Quarter
points, only to come up short at Clemson. Our Lady has already seen some option
this season, edging Joja’ Tech, but unlike da’ Jackets, da’ Ensigns believe in throwin’ the ball too. Only convincing-wins
for the Leprechauns came vs. floundering Texas club and UMass. We wouldn’t be
shocked to see an upset, but we’ll just say…Catholics 27 Boat People 20
#16
Stanford: IDLE (next 10/15 vs. UCLA)
#19
Georgia (-2 ½) over TENNESSEE: ‘Dawgs 28 Rocky Top 23
#20
UCLA: IDLE (next 10/15 @ Stanford)
#21Oklahoma
State (+7) over WEST VIRGINIA: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. WVU
and Oklahoma combined for (GASP!) 7 turnovers plus 23 flags for 245 penalty
yards last week during Mounties 20-point home-loss (and an “over” that recorded
our first “lock” win on the 2015 campaign!). State can swap sixes with the host
team and plays a little D on the other side of the ball too…Cowpokes 35 West
Virginia 29
#22
IOWA (-11) over Illinois: Iowa 24 Illinois 9
Kent
State (+15) over #24 TOLEDO: Flashes, though 1-2-1
against the spread, have improved a bit from 2-9 SU campaign in 2014, being
just 10 points from 4-1 SU this season rather than current 2-3. Trends support
both sides, so gotta’ take the more-than-two touchdowns here. With the Rockets at 4-0 “under” the
total, including a 2OT affair, we’d also consider
“under” 44. Wisconsin Badgers coach Paul Chryst was quoted
as saying, “I got a degree from
Wisconsin. It’s not like you have to be a rocket scientist.” Apparently, that requirement is incumbent upon graduates
of…Toledo 27 Kent State 14
#25
Boise State @ COLORADO STATE (“Over 59 ½”): Broncos have
smoked three of the worst teams in the nation the past three games, hittin’ da’
fitties in each of ‘em while pitchin’ a pair of goose-eggs defensively. Rams
are by no means one of the country’s lousiest teams and were embarrassed at
Texas-San Antonio in Week 5. First-year CSU coach Mike Bobo inherited 15
returning starters, but none are his
guys. Broncos need style-points to potentially keep pace with Toledo for that
Group-of-Five spot in the New Year’s Six Bowls…Tater-Heads 44 Rams 24
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
BTW, we think NHL officials should be allowed to skate in shifts like the players…and be subject to penalties for…too many linesmen
on the ice!
In a moment of nostalgia, Vindy has also decided
that NHL games, still scoreless after the first OT period, should go to a
shoot-out…using the 1976 Super Jock
hockey player!
And
as a matter-of-fact, your nimble narrator went 7-1 pickin’ games featuring squads
among the AP #15 thru #24!
In light of da’ Alma Mater’s mere 20-14 win in Happy
Valley vs. the Keydets of West Point, we note that the U.S. Army selected Penn
State as a partner for its new educational fellowship. Twenty Sergeants-Major
enrolled in the Fall semester in the online Masters of Education program in
Adult Education, teaching enlisted soldiers in operation of all levels of
leadership. They’re full-time students, stationed at the academy at Ft. Bliss,
Texas. Vindy is familiar with Uncle Sam’s Air Defense Artillery School, having
suffered thru Basic Training there in 1985 and suspects students are learning
to bring down paper airplanes in the classroom with Vulcans and other “if it flies, it dies” weaponry!
Kudos
to
handicapper and Gaming Today
contributor Richard Saber for going 17-3
over the past two weeks on his college football picks! (And we’ve probably just
doomed his Week 6 selections!)
Ahead of their 27-14
victory this past Sunday in London, the NY Jets shipped 350 rolls of American toilet
paper because the British brand (Quilted Northern
Ireland?) didn’t quite measure-up density-wise. Fer the Seinfeld fans out there, we’re not sure
how many “squares” were or weren’t “spared”, but a Native American spiritual
healer attending the game rushed the field to help an injured player and got
sandwiched between two other athletes simply trying to protect their fallen
comrade, leading the scoreboard-operator to post a digital-message asking, “Please …don’t squeeze da’ shaman!”
Reachin’ back a bit fer this one, but…in July of 2013,
Cowboys
Stadium changed its moniker to AT&T
Stadium. Jerry Jones was quoted as saying he wants “this building to be
more familiar than the White House”. Only if multiple folks successfully jump
the fences outside the structure-in-question or land their unauthorized
gyrocopters on da’ fitty-yard line!
Acknowledging the beginning of this season’s MLB
playoffs, we note that in order to demonstrate more respect for the game,
Dodgers OF Yasiel Puig said he was gonna’ lower the number of bat-flips he did
following successful hits. In a show of solidarity with the young Major Leaguer
and givin’ a little love to the bookies, Vindy said he’d reduce the number of beer bottle flips after calling each
winning pick!
“Wish We Had It Back”: Texas
+16 over TCU. We called it as such in our Week 5 forecast
and the ‘Horns got ripped by the Toads 50-7!
“Locked
in a Box?”: We
finally put a “lock” pick in the
win-column (1-4, .200) behind the high-scoring affair between Oklahoma and West
Virginia!
Black
Shirt: We split the onyx undergarment between K-State back-up QB Joe Hubener for his
5-yard TD run that kept the Wildcats within the spread at Oklahoma State with
about three minutes to play and Badgers QB Joel Stave fer the two picks and
three fumbles that allowed Iowa to cash-in on our “upset alert” pick!
Shoppe
Talk: Clemson hosed us again
and now stands-in at 0-3 (.000) on the season and 3-12 (.200) in past 15
at-bats! Da’ Baylor Bears and Joja’ Dawgs each show-up this week at 0-3 (.000)
and we’re pitchin’ a Big Top tent to accommodate da’ elephants of Alabama (1-4,
.250)!
Vindy’s
Week 6 Best Bets: Last Week: 5-2 Season:
13-10 (.565) WESTERN MICHIGAN -7 ½ over Central Michigan, UConn-CENTRAL
FLORIDA “under” 38 ½, Weeziana Tech -12 over UTSA, Duke-ARMY “under” 49,
PITT-Virginia “under” 46 ½
No comments:
Post a Comment