Friday, December 25, 2015

Vindy's Picks 2015-16 Bowl Predictions Part II


FORECASTER STANDS-UP FOR PAGEANT HOST
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (BBC)…Hours after Steve Harvey, facilitating the Miss Universe Pageant here in Sin City, misspoke and erroneously called Miss Columbia the winner, leading to a social-media firestorm, the Vegas Vindicator quickly-rose to the comedian’s defense, noting “Vindy’s Picks inaccurately declares victors on a weekly basis throughout the season!”. Despite the on-air miscue, Harvey, host of the Family Feud game-show, has been invited to oversee who gets the opening-possession of the College Playoff National Championship Game. The traditional coin-toss will be set-aside in favor of having a player from each team try to buzz-in and correctly identify “one of the top-five answers on the scoreboard” based on a poll of 100 people. The winning side will have the option to “play or pass”!
Sleepwalking early, we could only muster 5-7 (.417) for Part I of the predictions. Vindy’s gonna’ make like Elsa in “Frozen” and “let it go”! Right between that Fisher-Price Tribble Me Olaf Nerf-Drone and the Star Wars “Darkside” Covergirl make-up kit (Ooooie, Chewie, Wookieful!Eye..am your  Liner”?!!? The Eye-Liner Strikes Back?!), you’ll find a nicely-wrapped gift-box containing…

THE WEBER KID’S 2015-16 BOWL PREDICTIONS (PART DEUX)
(Now Gruden-free for those with allergies to a certain former-coach!)
DEC. 26

ST. PETERSBURG BOWL (@ St. Petersburg, FL)
Marshall vs. Connecticut (“under 45”): Herd 23 UConn 16

HYUNDAI SUN BOWL (@ El Paso, TX)
Washington State (-3) over Miami: ‘Canes allowed one fewer passing scores (14) than interceptions (15). Not sure even that ratio will be enough to fend-off Wazzou’s air attack (first runner-up to only Bowling Green). Neither team runs the ball effectively (Coogs dead-last, Da’ U comes in at #112). ‘Canes committed second-most penalties nationally. Mike Leach is finally getting production from his charges. ‘Canes took four of last five following dismissal of then-coach Al Golden in wake of fitty-eight-nada loss to Clemson. Hopin’ for another Miami flag-fest because State allowed at least 24 points to all but two opponents…Cougars 37 Pelicans 30

ZAXBY’S HEART OF DALLAS BOWL (Dallas, TX)
Southern Mississippi (+8) over Washington (55 ½): Just guessin’ da’ Huskies expended all their emotional-energy annihilating rival-Cougars in the Apple Cup clash. Chris Petersen again finds himself in unenviable position as bowl-chalk for second-straight year. Golden Eagles are relevant again for first time in four years and Coach Monken has to be stoked to not be at Army. Can’t call the upset here, but taking more than a touchdown and XP with a run-heavy team of Eagles is attractive against fitty-fitty, unreliable Sled Dogs…Washington 37 USM 32

NEW ERA PINSTRIPE BOWL (@ Bronx, NY)
Duke (+2 ½) over Indiana: Blue Devils 40 Indy 34

CAMPING WORLD INDEPENDENCE BOWL (@Shreveport, LA)
Tulsa (+14) over Virginia Tech: Venerable-coach Frank Beamer is throwin’ in da’ towel after 29 seasons and 23 straight post-season appearances. VT struggled early and put three of final four in the dubya-column to extend the streak of bowls. Hurricanes play beyond the regular-season again after winning just a total of five games over the previous two years, likely in part to correcting a dismal -18 turnover-ratio to +2 this season. Pickin’ a total would be challenging since Tech finished “under” in 7 of last 8, while Tulsa, who lost respectably at final-four contestant Oklahoma by 14, went “over” in 5 of last 7 tilts…Hokies 31 Tulsa 24

FOSTER FARMS BOWL (@ Santa Clara, CA)
Ucla (-7) over Nebraska: It’s been an interesting season for UCLA, which saw Puffy Combs get a ride downtown with LA’s finest following an alleged scrap with one of da’ strength-coaches over said-coach’s treatment of his son, Justin, in which the famed-artist brandished a kettle-bell (exercise-equipment resembling a dumbbell, as opposed to “kettle-chips” or…GASP!...Kegel-exercises!). Nebraska’s a questionable last-second TD catch for the win over Michigan State from 4-8 and in the comfort of its own living-room for this one. First-year NU Coach Mike Riley had a lot to work with, but it didn’t translate well to the field. Jim Mora Jr. had even more to work with and despite knockin’ off four Top 25 opponents in five tries, Bruins still end up here playing before the ball drops in Times Square. Nothin’ personal against Nebraska or the other pair of 5-7 bowlers, but should two of the three lose (San Jose won its game), perhaps the bowl-deluge will get some reconsideration … UCLA 29 Corn-Meal 17

DEC. 28
MILITARY BOWL PRESENTED BY NORTHRUP GRUMMAN (Annapolis, MD)

#21 NAVY (-3) over Pittsburgh: LOCK OF DA’ BOWLS (Go! Run! Save yerselves!). Admittedly, we’re a slow-learner… because for an unprecedented third time in a single-season, we designate the same team for “lock”. Middies want to make up for less-than-stellar offensive-outing vs. Army. Again, Pitt’s at a disadvantage prepping for the triple-option. After entertaining an offer from BYU, Ensigns coach Niumatalolo has decided to stay put and Senior QB Keenan Reynolds enters his collegiate finale…at the home-harbor…More nautical-than-nice 41 Panthers 30
QUICKLANE BOWL (@ Detroit, MI)

Central Michigan (+6) over Minnesota: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1…Chippewas 24 Gilded Gerbils 21
DEC. 29

LOCKHEED MARTIN ARMED FORCES BOWL (@ Ft. Worth, TX)
Air Force (+7) over California: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2…Pilots 34 Bears 28

(BILL, KURT) RUSSELL (BRAND, CROWE, WILSON) ATHLETIC BOWL (@Orlando, FL)
#10 North Carolina (-2 ½) over #18 Baylor (69): ‘Heels 51 Baylor 37

NOVA HOME LOANS ARIZONA BOWL (@ Tucson, AZ)
Colorado State (-3) over Nevada: MWC officials were up-in-arms over a pairing of two of their own teams here. We agree! WTH!???!!! Bowl-saturation! While we remember a very-limited, sub-dozen number of post-season opportunities, come on! Better-than-.500 records should be rewarded! Less-than-break-even? NOT! UNR lost the only MWC game that truly-mattered this season to…(GASP!)…UNLV! Momentum and slight conference body-of-work (beat USAF at home and New Mexico in Albuquerque) advantages to the Rams. Reno’s gone 0-2 SU/0-2 ATS vs. CSU the past two years. We’ll toss our ball-cap onto the ice for…Colorado State 27 Wolfpack 21

ADVOCARE V100 TEXAS BOWL (@ Houston, TX)
#22 Louisiana State (-7) over Texas Tech (“under 73 ½”): Again, we’ll wander into dangerous territory, pickin’ a side and a total. Offensive production bottomed-out for the Tigers over final four games to the tune of 16, 14, 17 and 19…resulting in three outright defeats. Raiders saw seven matches total 93 points or better, but this is an SEC D. State hasn’t won or covered a bowl since 2010 Cotton. Les Miles flirted with departure (involuntarily or otherwise), but remains after-all. RB Leonard Fournette went for a buck-fitty or more in all but 3 games for the Bengals and should kickoff 2016 Heisman contest with a big day vs. one of country’s worst run-stopping squads, a la Forrest Gump, running thru the end zone, down the tunnel and into the stadium parking lot. Then on LSU’s second play from scrimmage…Tigers 42 TTU 20

DEC. 30
BIRMINGAM BOWL (@ Birmingham, AL)

Auburn (-2 ½) over Memphis: MU lost three straight (albeit to the AAC’s top three clubs) before smoking SMU in the finale and gave up a ton of points to the MAC and its own conference-competition. Auburn dropped the final four games to close-out the 2014 regular-slate and lost four of final six in 2015 for back-to-back late-season meltdowns, covering just 2 of 11 tilts altogether. However, it should be a partisan crowd for UA and there are a lot of Juniors on the Auburn sideline. Gus Malzahn can dilute memories of a tough year and set the tone for next season’s Senior-class with a win… Auburn 44 Memphis 36 
BELK BOWL (@ Charlotte, NC)

Mississippi State (-5) over NC State: Mississippi State 38 NC State 24
FRANKLIN AMERICAN MORTGAGE MUSIC CITY BOWL (@ Nashville, TN)

Louisville (-4) over Texas A&M: Aggies have lost top two-strings of quarterbacks, who defected ahead of this one. We figure that moves this game closer to an “under”. Cards began with three losses (including three-point defeat by CFP #1-seed Clemson) then walked off the gridiron with 7 victories in 9 games. A&M has won 19 consecutive non-conference matches, but is getting points here. All four of TAMU’s SU losses came vs. fellow SEC West foes. The Aggies underwent Navy SEAL training this Spring. Vindy’s spies report several key-players hangin’ out and partyin’ with Charlie Sheen as kick-off for this one looms!...Redbirds 27 Aggies 17
HOLIDAY BOWL (San Diego, CA)

#23 Wisconsin vs. Southern Cal (“over” 50 ½): Best guess for “wish we had it back” as motivation might come into play with then-fully-equipped Trojans anticipating big things, but two failures in as many attempts to beat Stanford relegated SoCal to the wrong in-state post-season venue. After yielding just 22 ppg last year while still under league sanctions, Troy allowed 40 or more on four occasions and just a pair of its contests finished “under” this number. Badgers restricted remaining 11 opponents to 11 ppg after coughing up 35 to Bama, but the scoring defense faced just three clubs higher than 75th in putting-up points per game, while 5 squads came in at 99th or worse…USC 34 Wisky 27
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

BTW, also a doink-of-da’-uprights but getting less attention was Harvey’s call of 2nd-runner-up Olivia Jordan as Miss Conference-USA. Jordan hails from Oklahoma, which clearly plays in da’ Big 12! Check yer facts, Steve-O!
Our apologies to #20 Utah, #24 Temple and #25 Western Kentucky for not noting their respective AP Poll rankings when we published Part I of our bowl picks!

With the Coogs and Da’ Huskies both in the post-season, we offer…golf???!!! Yep….golf!!!!! PGA Tour officials green-lighted consumption of marijuana at the June 2015 U.S. Open because the venue was in Mary Jane-friendly Washington state. Fans in the gallery reported Bill Murray reprised his “Caddyshack” performance as Carl Spackler and quipped…”It’s in da’ bowl…it’s in da’ bowl!” Just wonderin’…did he also babble on about “a sensimilla story…sensimilla kid”???!!!
In August, stock-market publication The Street listed the Top 10 College Towns to Live In, Even if You’re Not a Student. Topping the list was Manhattan, Kansas (home to K-State Wildcats), but in the ninth-spot was Lincoln, Nebraska. The article made reference to a popular Russian sandwich called a “runza”. Gives whole new meaning to “Big Red”! “Straight Outta’…Comrades!?”

For fans of Jim Carrey’s Grinch, we recreate the famous mailbox-scene…”Jury duty, jury duty, jury duty, blackmail, pink-slip, hate letter, eviction notice, Vindy’s Picks…!”
If Scrooge played hockey, would we hear him declare, “You goal-keep Christmas in your own way and let me goal-keep it in mine!”???!!!

Vindicator accidentally bought “rappin’ paper” and spent Christmas Eve listening to presents under da’ tree crooning Eminem’s greatest hits!
If Dr. Seuss had written a book about a common athletic injury, would it have been entitled…”Green Eggs and Hamstring”???!!

Cam Newton took pre-game warm-ups ahead of win over Da’ Giants on Sunday donning a Green Lantern T-shirt. Clearly, there were no comicbook aficionados on the New York sidelines, otherwise someone woulda’ advised them to wear something yellow (GL’s only vulnerability) on defense! (Though a fan mighta’ alerted them, given 2nd-Half comeback that fell short by a FG!).
Apparently, we need to develop some patience, as Vindy quickly turned away from Da’ Vegas Bowl with Utes up 21-0 and Carolina up 28-7 early only to have the respective opponents (BYU and NY Giants) make things more-interesting when it was all said-and-done!

Black Shirt: Goes to Akron LB Jatavis Brown for creating da’ fumble that led to Zips’ FG right before halftime and helped bring home our Part I “upset pick of da’ week” over USU!
Bowls Part II Best Bets: Last Week: 1-0   Season: 42-34-1 (.553)

North Carolina-Baylor “over 69”
We’ll return before da’ first kick-off on New Year’s Eve with…Part III!

 

 

 

 

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