COMEDIAN
TO HIT GRIDIRON…AGAIN…AND AGAIN…AND AGAIN
STATESBORO,
Georgia (REUTERS)…Will Ferrell played all 10 Major League
baseball positions in a 14-hour trek thru Arizona during spring training, drumming-up
an estimated $1M in donations toward cancer research. Having spent a couple
weeks practicing against Pop-Warner competition, the former-SNL star hopes to
reprise that event and play all 22 football
positions in a like-timeframe this weekend, strapping-on the pads and
cleats in a variety of Sun Belt tilts, starting with the local Georgia
Southern-Georgia State match, and performing on the field at halftime and in
the end zones, flaunting his choreographed- moves while famously-quoting from
his cheerleader skit with Cheri Oteri…”I am
a Spartan… so check me out!”
We didn’t quite top the pyramid with Week 13’s final record of 9-6 (121-110-3, .523), but
we’ll take it. Dustin’ off our own skirt and pom-poms, we’re enticin’ the sportsbook crowd to make some noise for…
THE
WEBER KID’S 2015 CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK FORECAST
(Bustin’
more doors than Black Friday and Cyber Monday!)
FRI.
DEC. 4MAC Championship (@ Detroit, MI)
Northern Illinois (+11) over Bowling Green: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. We’ve seen this movie! Third consecutive-pairing of these two clubs in the conference-crown game. Huskies have gone 3-0 ATS in ‘dog role this season, includin’ 7-point defeat at Da’ Shoe earlier and reeled-off six straight SU wins prior to last week’s mysterious 26-21 loss to the Bobblecats of Athens, layin’ nearly two-touchdowns. Falcons have tallied 6 of 7 MAC triumphs by 14 or more, but lost to the Mudhens at home by 16. Sled Dogs ambushed then-#24 Toledo on da’ road, winning by 5. Yeah, same Huskies let 3-win UNLV stay within 8 in season-opener, but also topped Western Michigan, who’s Broncos upended BGU by 5. Norton Illinois has more than one conference-“L” since suckin’-up three in 2009…Canines 41 Birds 35
SAT.
DEC. 5
ACC
Championship (@ Charlotte, NC)
#1
Clemson vs. #8 North Carolina (“Under 67”): Best guess for “wish
we had it back”. Second time in as
many outings we’ve picked a Clemson-match to go “under”. Didn’t pan-out fer us
last weekend. You’ve been duly-advised. Lettin’
KFC hang-around waaaaay-too long didn’t
impact CU’s spot atop the CFP rankings. The Tigers lose the turnover-battle
about half the time and that alone
could come back and bite us here. Clemson’s lost four consecutive games to the
spread, but all of those were double-digits. Carolina used a stout ground game
to get past rival Wolfpack. We anticipate the Tigers’ defense will dig-in here,
as it did in low-scoring victories over Notre Dame and Florida State. ‘Heels
beat only ranked opponent it faced (Pitt) 26-19…Tigers 27 UNC 20
SEC
Championship (@ Atlanta, GA)
#2
Alabama (-17 ½) over #18 Florida (“Over 39 ½”): Gators’
horrific 2-point outing in loss to da’ Tribe last week led to installation of a
new OC for this one. While the teams have collectively gone 14-3-1 “under” da’
total recently, Tide has averaged 31 ½ ppg vs. SEC competition while allowing
double-digits-against in 7 of 8 conference games. Florida has finished 7 games
on the year below this total, but has scored an average of 23+ points-per-match
in SEC play. UF couldn’t stop FSU’s Dalvin Cook. ‘Bama boasts Heisman-candidate
Derrick Henry at RB. Hopin’ to do no worse than a split of our two picks
here. This ain’t the hated-rivalry of
da’ Iron Bowl…Pachyderms 34 Crocs 13
B10
Championship (@Indianapolis, IN)
#4
Iowa (+3 ½) over #5 Michigan State: Hawkeyes went
unbesmirched 12-0 and enter with just second ‘dog-designator all season. Iowa
beat the Huskers sans a single third-down conversion in nine tries. They’ll
need to move the chains here in a few of those situations to have a chance to
take the conference title. Spartans have lived on the edge in a few games this
year and lost track-meet to Nebraska for only “L”. State has taken its last
four neutral site melees…two by a lone point, another by four. Minus da’ 35 posted
by da’ the Gophers, Hawkeyes’ have been good on scoring-defense. Coaching and
experience edge to Dantonio, whose squad has covered 5 of 6 following 0-6 ATS
start and to Senior QB Connor Cook, but…MSU 19 Iowa 17
PAC-12
Championship (@ Santa Clara, CA)
#24
Southern Cal (+4 ½) over #7 Stanford: Rematch of Stanford’s
41-31 win in September. Cardinal probably shoulda’ fallen to the Irish, staying
alive on a Leprechaun penalty. SoCal was in a good one vs. UCLA until Bruin
turnover shifted the Mo. USC has been an
enigma all year, using home-field to topple Utah and aforementioned UCLA, while
submitting to Notre Dame and Oregon away. Filadelphia Fleegles’ Chip Kelly has
pooh-poohed rumor-intelligence that he chatted with USC about a coaching spot,
but we fully-anticipate Chipster to
be clutterin’-up the chalkboard for the Centurions
come next Spring! Bob Ross would be
paintin’ “happy trees”, but Stanford’s barely-squeezed by several opponents
to-date…Palo Alto 23 USC 21
#12
BAYLOR (-21) over Texas: Bears are workin’ with a
lower-stringer at quarterback and have lost two of last three games outright,
but against a conference murderer’s row of Oklahoma, Okie State and TCU. Just
can’t support Steers squad that was shutout in 24-point defeat at Iowa State
and may have spent itself in 48-45
loss to Texas Tech …BU 44 Texas 20
AAC
Championship
#20
Temple (+6) over #17 HOUSTON: As the Owls hit first
10-win season since yer frenetic forecaster graduated high school in…GASP!...1979…we
won’t discount the upset here, but several angles support a Coogs’ victory, not
the least of which is Temple’s ugly loss at South Florida. TU beat UConn team
missing its starting QB, a week after Houston somehow lost 20-17 to the
Huskies. Barnyards were decent 4-2 ATS outside Philly and hosts survived a
shoot-out with Memphis…Houston 30 Temple 27
Conference
USA Championship
Southern
Miss (+8) over WESTERN KENTUCKY: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. Golden
Eagles have been revitalized in third-year under Coach Todd Monken, winning
already more than twice as many games this year (9 and counting) as they did
collectively over the previous three seasons (4, including an 0-fer in 2012). USM put up just 19 ppg
in 2014, but are averaging 41.7 this season, less than 3 ppg fewer than the
Hilltoppers, who come in tied for 4th nationally at 44.2 per
contest. WKY beat Weeziana Tech by 3 at home. SoMiss crushed the Bulldogs by 34…in
Ruston…last week (and LT OC Tony Petersen still ain’t returning our calls about
mere 17-point effort at UTEP two fortnights
ago!)…Southern Miss 41 ‘Toppers 34
Mountain
West Championship
SAN
DIEGO STATE (-4½) over Air Force: The only thing in favor
of USAF here (despite money pouring in on the Academy, reducing the line from 6
½ to current spread) is a 2-1 road dog record after going just 3-7 the previous
three campaigns. The Aztecs show very-nice 7-0-1 ATS run, haven’t allowed more
17 points to any opponent since late September non-conference skirmish while
scoring minimum of 28 in all but one contest since then and have won and
covered vs. the Flyboys five straight years. Flight Platoon had taken 6 of 7
ahead of 12-point loss at improved-New Mexico in Week 13. State sports gaudy
23-7-2 spread record in MWC play since start of 2012! Not-showing this week on da’ big screen…Star Wars: The Air Force Awakens! ...SDSU 27 Pilots 17
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
BTW, at mid-June, a member of the KC Royals led
All-Star balloting in 8 of 9 positions! Only Angels’ OF Will Ferrell prevented a monopoly!
Offering a few follow-up thoughts on last week’s holiday cup lead story…also under siege
by fanatics…Red Ryder (leading us to suggest, “You’ll shot-gun yer I-formation out! “) and all those Major
League batters “sittin’ dead-red!”.
Elsewhere, Nebraska, AKA Big Red, did
some damage-control, emblazoning beverage cups with images of Yukon Cornelius! Cincinnati Bengals QB Andy
Dalton took offense to JJ Watts’ comments about turning said “Red Rifle” into
the “Red BB Gun”! But that’s better
than da’ “Red Waffle-Iron” (and fer
the GoT fans…better than the “Red Wedding”!)!
Like last year, the Idaho Vandals started this season staring down the barrel of a
mandatory post-season sit-out after compiling a four-year Academic Progress Rate
average of 896, below the 930 Mendoza line. Teams not clearin’ the bar by much included Oklahoma State (934),
Florida International (933) and New Mexico State (931…Phew!!!). The alma mater
came in at 956, 8 points below Purdue! (BTW, Vindy has been asked to
cease-and-desist with his spelling of “Nittany” as “N-i-f-t-y” and
“N-i-t-w-i-t” in order to bring the Lions’ score up a notch or two!)
During the preseason, the
Dallas Cowboys trained its QBs using virtual-reality headsets that provide the experience
of any given play from the quarterback’s point-of-view. The technology was,
however, developed by ex-Stanford kicker
Derek Belch and in a cruel-prank, the Cardinal special-teamer programmed the
scenarios to show nothing but the O-line, the angle of the goal-posts and the
snap to the holder. Explains a lot about the 2015 win-loss tally of America’s Team’s thus far, don’t
it????!!!!
SEASON
RECAP
Best
Weekly Effort: The
stars, planets and a Gazillion other inter-galactic entities were aligned when
Vindy managed to go 16-6 (.727) in Week 10!
Worst
Weakly “F”-fort: Weak
Two’s 6-11-1 (.353)!
WEBER-FRIENDLIES
(Best percentage on the predicted-side of the spread; minimum 7 at-bats in the
forecast): This year’s Allstate “Yer in Good Hands” award goes to (drumroll, please)…da’
Iowa Hawkeyes…but wait…there’s more! And the Florida Gators….both at 7-1 (.875)! Second-Place to da’ Stanford Cardinal at 7-2 (.778), with Honorable Mention to the Horny Toads of
TCU (6-4, .600)!
FLAME-THROWERS
(Worst percentage on the predicted side-of the spread; again, minimum 7 at-bats
in the forecast): Vindy wants a new wallet fer Christmas
‘cuz ya can still see the scorch-marks
on the current-one courtesy of Grill-Master Supreme award-winner…er…um…well…Vindy
himself, who was a terrible 4-9
(.308) pickin’ “lock of da’ week” selections! Suckin’ Place is presented to Utah (3-6, .333)! And we’ve got an
unprecedented three-way tie at .400 fer Dishonorable
Mention, going to Texas A&M (2-5-1), Ohio State (4-6-1) and LSU (4-6)!
Didn’t
make da’ cut, but we’ll be watchin’: Joja’
at 2-4 (.333)!
Thanks
for playing: Stay in touch next season… Kansas State
(4-0, 1.000), Oregon (5-1, .833) and Minnesota/Mississippi State, both at 4-1
(.800)!
“Wish
We Had It Back”: In retrospect, we kinda’ wish we could
revisit the Oklahoma State over Oklahoma (outright) choice, considering that we
noted the Sooners’ momentum, State’s win over short-staffed and error-prone
Baylor and poor-play by State’s D of late!
“Locked
in a Box?”: Now
we remember why we don’t go to the same team as “lock” in back-to-back weeks as
Navy (+1) got crushed by Houston, sending the “lock” tally to…ugghhh…the
previously-mentioned 4-9 (.308)!
Shoppe
Talk: We’re feasting on bear-meat this week at the Shoppe cafeteria in light of UCLA’s
current 2-4 debacle!
Black
Shirt: We’re emptyin’ out da’ whole wardrobe this week,
providin’ prestigious-tees to…’Bama RB Derrick Henry, not for his 271 rushing
yards, but simply for the TD he scored with 26 seconds to play that allowed
Tide to win ATS vs. Auburn; ironically to Nebraska (home of the original Black Shirt) QB Tommy Armstrong
for throwin’ four (count ‘em, four) interceptions in Iowa’s 8-point victory and
to Irish QB DeShone Kizer for a late
scoring rush that gave the Leprechauns the cover vs. Stanford!
Vindy’s
Championship Week Best Bets: Last
Week: 5-3 Season: 40-33-1 (a
profitable .548!)
Joja’ State +20 ½ over JOJA’ SUDDEN, Appalachian
State -18 over SOUTH ALABAMA
On-deck, our annual thoughts on…Army-Navy!
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