Thursday, September 07, 2017

Vindy's Picks Week 2-2017

HOOVER DAM, Nevada (REUTERS)...Displeased with the Oakland Raiders' planned move to Sin City following a 31-1 decision by league-owners to approve the action (with only the Miami Dolphins casting the lone "nay"), Tom Hanks is following through on a threat he announced last April to boycott the NFL for two years. The famous thespian, renowned for his roles in "Sully" and "Castaway" et al, began his official protest this week by landing a disabled plane in the middle of nearby Lake Mead before marooning himself on an island at Lake Las Vegas, where he plans to spend the next biennium, with just a volleyball as his only company 
Ford and Domino's are joining forces to pilot driverless pizza delivery. In the wake of last week's 5-14 (.263), Vindy is planning to try-out forecasterless picks with... 
(Drawin' more boos than Roger Goodell at the NFL Draft! 
#11 Oklahoma State (-28) over SOUTH ALABAMA: Cowpokes had 4th-best scoring-offense among teams that faced FBS-opponents last week (59 points). Jags achieved rare away-dog cover in 20-point loss at Ol' Miss and improved their scoring-D by 10ppg last season despite 41-40 to FCS Nicholls State in Mobile...State 56 South Bama 24 
Fresno State (+43) over #1 ALABAMA: Best guess for "wish we had it back". If yer scorin' at home, SEC won 11 of 13 SU, but posted blah 5–6 ATS record (plus a pair of unlined FCS tilts). Generally, we try to avoid providing commentary on same team two-weeks in-a-row, but thought it was noteworthy that Tide has failed to cover last three opportunities after opening the year with an SU win over a Top 25-opponent (0-2-1). A few other trends say go-against 'Bama in this spot as well. FSU-West no traditional-bargain here either, but...Elephants 42 FSU 6 
#2 OHIO STATE (-7 ½) over #5 Oklahoma: Buckeyes will field lotsa' seniors and if JT Barrett gets better service from his receivers than he did for three-quarters at Indiana, State should prevail nicely...OSU 38 Sooners 28 
#13 Auburn (+5 ½) over #3 CLEMSON: UPSET PICK OF DA' WEEK #1. General consensus among the touts seems to be that Auburn is closin' da' gap on 'Bama. That's part of the reason we have a futures-wager on Aubie to take the National Title at 25-1. Defending-champ Clemson lost a whole lotta' offensive-production from last year's squad to the Sunday League and have been traditionally money-burners when final-margin ends up 7 or less over past three seasons. Despite now 12-6 ATS in non-ACC contests, spread-loser vs. ranked-foes over last three campaigns, CU has a bunch of newbies at the skills...Auburn 20 Clemson 17 
Pittsburgh (+21 ½) over #4 PENN STATE: da' FCS #8 Y-Town Penguins in OT, while da' Alma Mater re-wrote recent history and tossed 52-nada no-hitter vs. thought-to-be-improved Akron. Cross-state rival closed-out first of State's two regular-season defeats last year with an EZ pick late 4th  Quarter. Following 1-4 spread-skid in 2016, Lions now on 10-0 ATS run. Pittsburgh has covered or pushed in last 10 tries getting more than a TD away from Heinz Field. In June, Al Pacino got the nod to portray Joe Paterno in an HBO rendering of the Sandusky SNAFU. AlPa plays JoePa?! Will we hear the star quip... "Say 'hello" to my lil' tight-end!"??? (BTW, that was meant to be a football-reference, know...). We usually pay the price fer goin' against da' Alma Mater (as we did last week), but just can't in all good-conscious yield three TDs in rivalry of this magnitude...WE ARE 34 Pitt 17
#14 Stanford (+7) (56) over #6 USC: UPSET PICK OF DA' WEEK #2. Trees accounted fer one of our paltry-number of forecast-dubyas in the season-kickoff-salvo. USC correctly-fell ATS to visiting Western Michigan. SU has back-to-back victories in this series by 7 and 10. Trojans mere 3-10 ATS when margin is a TD or less. Cardinal has beaten ranked-foes 5 times in last 6 tries. USC "star"-QB launched two picks and zero-scores vs. Da' Broncos. Rush-heavy Stanford could have nice-day vs. USC ground-D that conceded 263 yards and a pair of scores to WMU...Stanford 21 USC 16 
Montana @ #7 WASHINGTON: No line. 
Cincinnati (+34) over #8 MICHIGAN: Wolverines 35 Bearkats 10 
#9 WISCONSIN (-32) over Florida Atlantic: With skeleton-laden closets-coaches Lane Kiffin leading the Owls, he considers his current school as "LSU...Last Strike U.". Frankly, we think the former USC head man and 'Bama OC coulda' stayed with the actual acronym/abbreviation of FAU..."Final Attempt U." Badgers' schedule sets them up nicely, barring a serious faux-pas, for an undefeated regular-season. Despite the anticipated ensuing Big Tentacle Championship vs. the conference East winner and Final Four berth, we've already plunked down some doubloons on Wisky to take the National Title at 28-1...Varmints 48 Hoots 3 
#10 FLORIDA STATE (-33) over UL-Monroe: FSU 41 Warhawks 0  
Chattanooga @ #12 LSU: No line. 
#24 NOTRE DAME (-5) over #15 Georgia: Jim Harbaugh asked the Pope to say a prayer for his young Wolverines squad during an appearance at the Vatican this Spring. Da' Pontiff politely-declined, stating he was saving such requests for the Frightenin' Irish this year on the heels of 2016's complete-disappearance of the team following a preseason #10 ranking in the AP Poll. Our Lady covered nicely vs. Temple last week, while Joja' did likewise vs. Apparition State to thwart us yet again (see "Shoppe Talk" below). 'Dawgs are loaded at RB, but lost starting QB Eason for the campaign and have failed to cover 2nd game of the year in each of last three opportunities after winning ATS in the opener. ND was favored in first four games last season, but lost 3 outright and had a 1-point cover vs. Reno!...Touchdown Jesus 24 UGA 16 
#16 Miami @ ARKANSAS STATE: Cancelled 
NORTH CAROLINA (+10) over #17 Louisville: Marc Lawrence's mag noted just a trio of squads gave away the rock more times than UL last season. Ball-security is still a problem and Redbirds, after losing three fumbles, are lucky they didn't gift Purdue just its 9th SU win in past 37 games.  BTW, Boilers lost four of their five miscues, including a pair of fumbles on the doorstep. We thank the Tarheels for losing outright to Cal (+12), bringing home one of our three "best bets" selections! Carolina had six games decided by a TD or less in 2016 (3-3 SU/ATS)...Birds 38 UNC 34 
Delaware @ #18 VIRGINIA TECH: No line. 
#19 KANSAS STATE (-36) over Charlotte: LOCK OF DA' WEEK...Purple Persians 54 Charlotte 10 
#20 WASHINGTON STATE (-10) over Boise State: In all honesty, it's scary layin' double-digits against Boise, who hasn't been an underdog since beating Arizona in the Fiesta Bowl 38-30 after getting' a FG-'cap. Coogs fell 31-28 on the Smurf-Turf in 2016. Broncos have our gratitude for 11-point victory over Troy (+12) (though BSU-backers cashed if ya got 'em at -10 ½ on game-day). One of Boise's TDs came on a kick-return. Jus' sayin'...Wazzou 44 Boise 27 
#21 South Florida @ UCONN ("under" 66): USF 38 Huskies 14 
Northern Colorado @ #22 FLORIDA: No line. 
#23 Texas Christian (-3) over ARKANSAS: With just a handful of returning starters, Froggies were minus-two turnovers in 2016's 41-38 home-loss in double-extras vs. the Pork Chops. Also, four of seven SU defeats came by a total of 20 points en route to 3-13 ATS record. Seventeen starters are back this year. Meanwhile, Da' Bacon absorbed significant losses on both sides of the ball. TCU's covered just 2 of 8 as road chalk last two seasons. Let's call it 3 of 9... Kermits 34 Miss Piggy 27 
Indiana State @ #25 TENNESSEE: No line.
BTW, there's no truth to the rumor that Hanks reviewed a script for a present-day sequel in which his team goes above-and-beyond to rescue a "big-ugly" in..."Saving Private Lineman" 
Also, BTW, former Trump Press Secretary declared Vindy's Week 1 Picks "achieved the best spread-forecast record in history" and congratulated Vindicator on "his thousands of ATS-wins!" 
In comparison to the SEC records noted-above, da' Big Tentacle Conference put 11 of 14 in the win-column while covering 9 of all 14 FBS-contests. BOOM! 
Last time we started out this poorly, we followed it up a with a debacle in Week 2 that lead us to cancel the rest of the Picks for the 2013 season. Hopin' to dodge that bullet here. 
As Fresno State heads into a masochistic two-week road-trip at 'Bama and at UDUB, we acknowledge it appropriately-punished (Re-) Incarnate (d) Word (to yer mother!) 66-0. Apparently, Da' Cardinals came back as ...cannon-fodder! 
We tip our hive to the Ramblin' Wreck of Joja' Tech for valiant-effort to validate our second minor upset pick of da' week in +3-cover vs. Tennessee, losing on a failed two-point conversion 42-41!
Hooray fer Da' Little Guy: Of our six-noted FCS-most-likelies to drop their FBS-opponent, James Madison took-out EAST CAROLINA and Tennessee State toppled JOJA' STATE. Elsewhere, Howard hung a college football historical-upset 43-40 on local hometown-zeroes UNLV, while Liberty downed BAYLOR! (BTW, the Sin City Rubbles got a few votes in the FCS Poll this week after mere 3-point loss to da' Bison! We woulda' understood a loss to perennial FCS champion North Dakota State Golden Bison, but...). Our best guesses for this week's FCS squads, regardless of ranking, having best chance to take-out an FBS-foe...South Dakota (35 votes) over BOWLING GREEN, Savannah State over APPALACHIAN STATE, #12 New Hampshire over JOJA' SUDDEN, Howard (GASP!, 35 votes) over KENT STATE, Eastern Illinois over NORTHERN ILLINOIS and...(double-GASP!) Nicholls State (32 votes) over TEXAS A&M???!!!!  
In related news, the new UNLV stylized-logo, released in June, looks to us like a cowboy on a massage table. Will we see tweets #FearDa'PornStache on Twitter?! Tilted vertically...maybe it's a cowboy with his head hangin' over side of the bed while getting ECT, AKA "shock-treatment"?!!! 
This week on the big screen...Mighty Joe Young meets the FCS Rams in "Kong: *Rhode* Island"! And during Prime-Time, it's Terrell Owens on "End-Zone Dancin' With the Stars"! 
During the 2017 Shark Week in late July, famed-swimmer Michael Phelps edged-out a great white shark in a 100-meter race. But unbeknownst to Phelps, at the last minute, producers of the event swapped-out the originally-planned "digitized" fish for the real deal, which, displeased with the defeat, subsequently ate the former Olympic champion before he could get outta' da' water and took the medal-stand itself as the winner! 
"Wish We Had It Back": We'd like a mulligan on our Tulsa-OKLAHOMA STATE "under"-choice, in wake of pre-season analyses yielding a preference toward "over" fer  both sides! 
“Locked in a Box?”:  Indy hung with the Buckeyes fer 45 minutes before runnin' outta' steam. Last week: 0-1 Season: 0-1 (.000) 
Black Shirt: The inaugural 2017 ebony-tee goes to Troy CB Blace Brown fer 53-yard pick-six that allowed Troy to cover +12 "best bet" at Boise State! 
Shoppe Talk:  Pickin' right-up where they left off...Clemson (0-1, .000; 3-14 last 17, .176), 'Bama (0-1, .000;  4-8-1, .333 last 13) and Joja' (0-1, .000; 3-8-1, .272). 
Vindy’s Week 2 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 (the lone light in the darkness of an otherwise disastrous outing) Season: 3-1 (.750) 
New Mexico State +7 ½ over NEW MEXICO, Indiana -3 over VIRGINIA, Wake Forest @ BOSTON COLLEGE "under 42 ½", Eastern Michigan +5 over RUTGERS (Yeah, yeah....more 'dogs and "unders", like last week. We here at Vindy's Picks are slow-learners.)        

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