Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Vindy's Picks Week 8-2019

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (ITAR-Tass)…Plans were announced this week to add-on a hotel & casino resort to future Raiders'-venue Allegiant Stadium. Guest-Room Attendants will provide a turndown service. In fact, they’ll even turn the room over on downs upon request. Other amenities will include an “ice-the-kicker" machine on each floor and a room with an upon-further re-view, equipped with a Shaun King-size bed and a William Perry “refrigerator”. Ohio State fans in-town can enjoy coffee-beverages whipped-up by StarBuckeyes baristas. Other patrons can hit-up the gift-shop for Howie Long-johns (emblazoned with the Raiders logo) to stay warm on those cold, Sin City winter nights, while more folks can simply imbibe their alcoholic-drinks-of-choice at the Derek Carr Bar (though still being subject to flags for “illegal poker-hands to the face”!). 
Week 7 saw another 2-3 outing (4-6, .667 since moving to the new format). We’re goin’ heavy-SEC on the fortnight (the conference, not the popular video-game of a slightly-different spelling!) and hopin’ to get some fresh-guys over the boards with... 
(As added “to the band’s shopping-list"!) 
SAT. OCT. 17 
Tennessee @ #1 ALABAMA (“under 62”): Tennessee enters just second-tilt outside Knoxville. While just two of Pachyderms’ contests thus far ended-up below this number, across the field, Vols have finished games over this total only two times, showing little in the way of scoring recently...27 combined points over most-recent three. Rocky Top recorded second straight-up win of the ear (first in FBS-play) with 20-10 triumph against Mississippi State...a game in which Volunteers didn’t salt-away the victory until hitting the EZ with 2:35 left. ‘Bama’s won this one by 39, 38 and 37 the last three seasons. We briefly contemplated layin’ da’ points (35 ½), figuring Tide might want some style-points with LSU closin’-in at 12 first-place votes, but Coach Saban’s charges have been flaky 3-3 ATS to-date and have the opportunity to take care of business vs. the Bengals at Bryant-Denny a few weeks from now...Alabama 49 UT 3  
ILLINOIS (+31) over #6 Wisconsin: Looks too easy to lay the juice here as Badgers continue in cruise-control, posting four defensive-goose-eggs and conceding 29 points-against in Big Tenderizer-play (3-spots behind the Alma Mater, which shows 19 allowed). Big Mecca to Da’ Shoe on-deck. If Illini, who’ve lost three matches in Champaign by a cumulative 24-points, can reach the EZ once...they can cover. UI’s pair of victories came early over a pair of I-A cellar-dwellers...da’ Zips and at UConn. Maybe (and we mean “maybe”) two-more winnable games left on the slate (and at Purdue will be no cake-walk), so figure this to be the Illini’s “bowl-game” and best-effort. ATS-failure will prolly lead to petition to “Boot Lovie, Sign Tubby [Smith of college-hoops fame]”...Wisconsin 35 Illinois 7 
#9 Florida (-6) over SOUTH CAROLINA: Gators, off two-TD loss in Baton Rouge, givinless than a full touchdown???!!! That’s a lotta’ love and a serious over-reaction to Gamehens’ upset of Joja’ in 2OT (SC’s first defeat of a Top 25 foe in 11 tries). QB Jake Fromm committed four (count ‘em, four!) turnovers in that one. Carolina quarterback Jake Bentley won’t have LSU’s OL in front of him. Last two years have been close, with Florida taking a 35-31 win in ‘18 and the Poultry grabbing the 28-20 win here in ‘17 (Roosters had 16 starters back that season and finished 9-4). UF gets a bye next ahead of World’s Largest (“Use the) Cocktail(-Stick”) Party and should rebound nicely here. Chicken Nuggets lost by 24 to ‘Bama. “Under 49” wouldn’t be a bad call either...Crocs 27 KFC 10
#11 Auburn (-19) over ARKANSAS: Per Phil Steele’s preview mag, Sooeey Pigs had covered only 2 of previous 13 tries in the aftermath of an outright defeat, but are 3-0 thus-far in such-situations this season and fell 24-20 at Kentucky last week. However, series has been an absolute mismatch for Arkansas, losing by 56, 32 and 31 the past three years. Can’t really consider this a sandwich-game for Aubie, between Florida and trek to Baton Rouge on the horizon, because War Iggle (Philly-fans of the NFL know that reference) was idle last Saturday. The margin-of-loss drops yet-again, but not enuff to warrant supporting the Wild Hogs...Tigers 41 Pork Chops 17 
#25 Temple @ #19 SMU (“over 59”): Mustangs, who kicked back last week following 3OT-win vs. Tulsa, have dented the scoreboard fer no less than 41 in each of 5 of 6 games so far (just missing in 37-34 victory in season-opener at Arkansas State) and have permitted everyone on the other sideline except Texas State to post three-touchdowns or more. Owls’ defense should test SMU’s offense a bit early, but Pony Express hung 41 on the TCU D that ultimately coughed-up mere 34 in the trio of contests surrounding that one. Sudden Methadone should goad Temple into tryin’ to keep-up!... SMU 39 Barnyard Birds 34 
BTW, specialty-drinks at the aforementioned-quarterback's name-sake watering-hole will include the Punt-A-Colada, White Rushin’, Silver & Black Rushin’ and the Howie Long Island Iced Tea! More unique drink-specials on-tap in Week 9! 
In a follow-up to our Week 7 Lead Story, clips from these songs were also tweeted by The Donald without prior-permission...Baby, Please Don’t Go...On 4th-Down and Cleveland Brown-Eyed Girl (the Rolling Stones), Amani Toomer Has It (Adele) and Rockin’ In Da’ Free-Safety World (Neil Young). Check-out Week 9 fer misused Beatles’ hits! 
Nittany Lions faithful are planning to conduct a White-Out to greet the visiting Michigan Wolverines on Saturday. What a fluid designed to correct typos has to do with college pigskin is beyond us, but whatever! Meanwhile, Game of Thrones fans in Happy Valley will gather for a House of Black & White-Out! Oh...and...the Penn State Poli-Sci Department will host a White House-Out! (Somebody stop us!) 
Rebels knocked-off Vandy decisively on the road??!!! Oh, Haaaaaaillll no! Conspiracy theory...UNLV officials made “arrangements” with Auburn, off last week, to have its second-string suit-up in scarlet & grey unis vs. the Commodores. Admittedly, we missed this tidbit from Marc Lawrence, who noted Vandy has lost 18 straight Game Sixes on the scoreboard, losing ATS in 16 of ‘em, the past 18 seasons! And da’ Rabble-Rousers are now 13-5 as road-puppies the last 3-plus years.  
Hooray Fer Da’ Little Guy: As expected, the Rhode Island Terriers lost 34-17 at Virginia Tech last week. This week, however, Da’ Maine Black Bears (20 votes and recently dropped from the I-A poll after going-down to Vindy’s grad-school Alma Mater Richmond 24-17, invade Lynchburg, Virginia to face da’ FightinFalwells of Liberty. Doubt they’ll win outright, but Obsidian Ursines could create some consternation for LU Flames crew that lost 24-0 to Syracuse and 35-14 at UL-Lafayette, while edging currently 2-4 New Mexico at home 17-10 and New Mexico State (0-6...and rival-Lobos' sole-FBS dubya) 20-13 last week at Las Cruces! 
Packers’ owe the zebras that “officiated” their MNF-win a case of their favorite adult-beverages! Green Bay receivers owe Aaron Rodgers something fer drops that could’ve (and should’ve) cost them the game. The Cheese-Heads quarterback embraced “A Few Good Men” in the post-game locker-room and ordered a Code-Red, having Krazy Glue poured all over the wide-outs’ hands! Kudos to Lions K Matt Prater for booting five FGs, including a pair from beyond-fitty to keep his team in it until late. 
Speaking of Hall of Fame quarterbacks, another Green Bay star, while marking his 50th-birthday last week, was across Da’ Pond, consulting the key-participants of the EU in an effort to reach a viable solution to England’s potential Brexit Favre split. 
Prior to boarding Air Force One at Andrews Air Force Base last week, an unidentified LLWS-champion player, who announced his fave-athlete was WSWNT co-captain Megan Rapinoe, loudly-advised those around him that “I’m not going to the f***ing White House!”. Louisiana Eastbank coaches quickly corralled the young man and made him run laps around the airbase until the plane departed! 
Black Shirt: The coveted-clothing goes to Sun Devils QB Jayden Daniels, who found his way into the end zone from 17-yards away with 34 ticks left to beat Wazzou 38-34. 
Shoppe Talk: Badgers continue to bleed the way at 0-5 (.000) and could go to 0-fer-a-Six-Pack with a cover this week! 
Vindy’s Week 8 Best Bets:    Last Week: 3-1     Season: 14-13-1 (.519)    
WAKE FOREST -2 over Florida State, Texas Christian @ KANSAS STATE “under 45 ½”, Rice –4 over UTSA, Arizona +9 ½ over USC 
We’ll be right-tackle back after these important-messages... 

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