A HISTORICAL LOOK: VGK TAKES THE CUP TO THE ACADEMY
WEST POINT, NY (UPI)...Way back in January, with some extra time on their hands in the wake of a victory at Nassau Coliseum over the Islanders, the defending champion Vegas Golden Knights made a pit-stop at the Army’s Military Academy to show-off the 2023 Stanley Cup bling. Coach Bill Foley graduated from the venerable Army installation on the Hudson River in 1967. After exchanging polite niceties, the Black Knights hockey team placed its freshmen inside a goal-net to face slap-shots fired by VGK players (accumulating demerits for each missed block/goal-scored) while Golden Knights were dropped for push-ups with Stanley Cup replicas secured inside duffel bags to their backs by senior student cadre who, ferociously, got in their faces. Sin City players were also forced to skate laps while holding 155mm artillery shells over their heads!
Joja’s minor upset over Texas in Atlanta was our only redeeming result in the Championship Week, ending 1-4 (29-45-1, 391).
“Bouncin’ off da’ cylinder” with...
THE WEBER KID’S 2024 ARMY-NAVY FORECAST
(Being reset to factory-settings)
SAT. DEC. 14
Army vs. Navy (@ Landover, MD): We wish good fortune to my brothers-in-arms on both sidelines as a two-year slide of sub-par results has led us to yet-again shut-down the “Picks” (per se) vs. the spread/totals, though we’ll continue to post “hash” until we run out of it. Hudson River Rats won the AAC crown, but did not have the highest ranking among the Group of Five champs, becoming a bridesmaid to Boise State, and got jobbed. AAC sked is tougher than the Mandolin Wrest Conference, and Soldiers’ only trip-wire miscue came up versus Notre Dame (though admittedly in an ugly-fashion), whose only loss came against Norton Anti-Virus Illinois (who finished a mediocre 7-5 on the year). In related news, the clash will not be the only game on the selected Saturday-in-question because, due to the new CFP format, at least one bowl game will be featured on the afternoon. As a traditionalist, we’re not pleased and will only tune-in to Black Knights-Argonauts!!!! Elsewhere, da’ Mermen sent 8 of 11 total opponents to Davy Jones Locker! Fer inquiring mimes that wanna’ know, West Point is 6 ½-chalk (at da’ moment), with an over/under of 38 (and falling as we speak). The venue suggests a very-slight advantage to the Skippers fer fans-in-da-stands. The traditional clash does not figure into the playoffs as it is played almost a fortnight after the selection committee’s decision on the final dozen clubs to make the CFP and Army faces a damned-near “who cares” match vs. Marshall later this month in da’ Independence Bowl. The Commander’s Cup Trophy is on the line (literally) here. Army’s covered nine coming in. Middies covered 7 of 10 in FBS competition (2-1 as the ‘dogs). Statistical comparisons prolly mean nothing here, but we’’ offer a few anyway...spoiler alert...Keydets top da’ country in rushing yards per game. Boat People are well-down the run-D rankings at 159.9 yards per contest. Quarterbacks? Army’s Bryson Daily has 29 ground TDs plus 8 passing ones with a lone pick. Navy’s Blake Horvath shows 11 aerial scores, 4 INT and 13 rushing touchdowns. Long Gray Line has won 3 of last 4 in the series...by 17-11, 20-17 and 15-nada. Having said that, with Da’ Commander’s Cup Trophy on da’ line (literally), we’ll call this one...”Thin Red Line” 27 “Pirates of Da’ Caribbean” 17
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, earlier this season, we referenced a certain Saturday Night Live skit. We’ll do it again here, saying the Middies need “more diving bell!”
The Middies have played in Ireland. West Point has not, but if it did, would it be under the guise of the HBO series “Banshee of Brothers”???!!!.
The Swabbies revealed a new “Jolly Roger” helmet design for this one. We initially read that as “Jolly Ranchers” and puzzled over what a hard-candy brand would have to do with this military rivalry! Maybe the Soldiers will eventually come up with a “Easy Company” headgear design honoring “Band of Brothers” (though the players will wear Bastogne-themed uniforms, paying tribute to the first 100 folks to leap out of a perfectly-functioning flying- machine back in the day??!!
If the traditional lengthy procession into the stadium before the game features Cadets ceremonially holding glasses of a murky-colored grape-based adult beverage, is it “Da’ Long Gray Wine”???!!! Similarly, if the Hudson River Rats snivel and complain incessantly following a loss to Navy, do we hear the “Long Gray Whine” ???!!!
If the U.S. Military Academy meets a 1961 classic musical film that lays out the tale of Long Gray Line cadets from rival platoons who become romantically involved, is it entitled “West Point Side Story”???!!!
West Point has a “turnover axe”. Of all the weapons we carried during our time in the Army, we never toted an axe. (Hell, we never went into battle with a “blade” [though our self-sharpening P-38 can-opener came in handy! And still does!])
“Praise da’ Lord of Da’ Rings and pass da’ ammunition!” or in recognition of Madonna’s daughter..”Praise da’ Lourdes and screen-pass da’ ammunition!”
If a defensive-lineman uses an enema on the sideline and goes, without contact, into the opposing backfield on the next play ahead of the snap, does he flagged fer “running un-constipated to the quarterback”???!!!
Black Shirt: This week’s exclusive ebony-tee goes to perennial bench-warmer Joja’ QB Gunner Stockton for driving the ‘Dawgs to a TD and a pair of three-pointers following Carson Beck’s owwie, bringin’ home our UGA (+2 ½) upset/”lock of da’ week” (even losing his headgear!) in extra-innings over Texas!
Vindy’s Army-Navy Best Bets: Last Week: 2-1 Season: 25-33 (.431., but on nifty 6-1 [.857] run!])
Nothing of interest among the first week of bowl games, so we’ll be back before Our Lady kickoffs next Friday against Indy in the first-round of da’ CFP and the Alma Meter-Maid does ditto on Saturday vs. SMU!
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