Borrowing from the 2007-08 Bowl Picks to bring ya...
PONIES TAKE YOUTH LITERACY PROGRAM NATIONWIDE
DALLAS, Texas (CNN)...American children are once again behind as many as ten other industrialized nations throughout the world in reading test scores (though three of those “countries” were actually the Canadian provinces of Alberta, British Columbia and Ontario. Based on the exchange rate, that’s really only 1.99 countries!). The football players of Southern Methodist University aim to fix that through expansion of its summer youth literacy program, known as “Milk and Cookies with the Mustangs”. SMU plans to make it a traveling medicine show type of event and take the curriculum around the United States. Independent observers aren’t certain “who’s teachin’ who to read.” Another anonymous educator noted, “The kids’ ability to handle Seuss and Potter is questionable, but they can sure decipher X’s and O’s with the best of ‘em! It’s gratifying to hear a child who couldn’t read a lick beforehand rattle off ‘96 Z-Out, Split Left, Whiskey 7 Post’”.
We were 4 points away from 4-1 but wrapped up the weekend at 2-3 (41-46-1, 471) instead.
Yer fab forecaster spent Christmas Eve as a volunteer on the NORAD Santa Tracker Hotline telling youth from around the globe (yes...we speak hundreds of civilized languages...and three uncivilized ones!) that Kris Kringle was flying above Sin City in a sleigh full of misfit toys being pulled by...
THE WEBER KID’S 2025-26 CFP QUARTERFINALS PREDICTIONS
(Released this week with more redactions than the Epstein files!)
WED. SAT. 31
CFP Quarterfinal at the Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic (@ Arlington, TX)
#2 Ohio State (-9 ½) over #10 Miami: ‘Canes’ pair of defeats came by 3 and 6. Only State’s 14-7 season-opening win vs. Texas came by single-digits. The remainder of the Baker’s Dozen were by 18 or more. Buckeyes excel at ball-security, losing just 9 turnovers all season for a +5 margin. Miami got zero points off A&M’s three giveaways (though the final INT in the end zone with half-minute to play sealed the deal to get the Pelicans here). Da’ U has taken 13 of its past 15 non-conference matches, but none of those were against the Big Tangerine. Of Mark Fletcher Jr.’s 857 rushing yards to-date, 172 came vs. the Aggies. OSU claims the #6 rush D at 84.5 ypg and yielded only four ground scores all year. The total on this is 42 ½. Miami allows 13 ppg but even factoring in the mere 10 scored by State in loss to Indy, it’s trippin’ da’ circuit breakers at 35 ppg, so we lean slightly toward the “over”. Buckeyes won all four playoff games last season by at least 11 behind two coordinators who left then were cut loose by their respective teams this year. Paul Finebaum effectively stated he wants The Hurricanes to win the natty so Fleeing Irish fans will shut their pie-holes...THE Ohio State 29 Ibis 16
THURS. JAN. 1
CFP Quarterfinal at the Rose Bowl Presented by Prudential (@ Pasadena, CA)
#9 Alabama (+7) over #1 Indiana: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Having taken ‘Bama -1 last week, we almost turned off the game when Oklahoma took a 17-nada edge early Second Quarter. Glad we didn’t and we saw something recently noting Tide since 2010 has bested 79 ranked opponents, Indy only 8. Most recently, Indy is 3-0, Tide defeated 5 of 7. Pachyderms can make it 80 but must at least feign the appearance of a standard rushing attack, fix pass-drops and remedy poor tackling problems. Ironically, Kurt Cignetti and Kalen DeBoer were assistant coaches at each other’s schools. As good as the Hoosiers have been this season, they’re here on the shoulders of a shanked 27-yard chippie FG by Ohio State, who found a way to hold Heisman-winner Fern Mendoza and company to 28 points below their FBS scoring average up to that point. IU has no bowl victories in over 30 years...Roll Snide 28 Whose Ears 24
CFP Quarterfinal at the Allstate Sugar Bowl (@ New Orleans, LA)
#6 Ole Miss (+7) over #3 Georgia: UGA is arguably the most complete team remaining in the playoffs and we recently plunked down some rupees on the Bulldogs to take the national championship, which would be their third in five seasons, at +450. Rematch of Joja’s crazy 43-35 win between the hedges in mid-October. ‘Dawgs covered 6 of 9 facing fellow conference foes. Rebels went 4-3 ATS in that role. Ole Miss will not forget the late collapse in the first iteration, being outscored n17-0 in the 4th Quarter of that one after carrying a nine-point advantage into the final 15 minutes and Georgia held on for the final 7:30 after grabbing the lead. Mississippi RB Kewan Lacy, who scored two rushing TDs in the first match, was hurt vs. Tulane. His availability here is unknown. Ole Miss trailed at halftime just once all year...vs. Georgia, and a first-half wager on the Rebels might be in order. In any case, a two-point improvement by the Rebels isn’t asking too much...Joja’ 27 Ole Miss 24
CFP Quarterfinal at the Capital One Orange Bowl (@ Miami Gardens, FL)
#4 Texas Tech vs. #5 Oregon (“over 52 ½”): This just feels like one of those old “last team with the ball wins” scenarios. Gotta’ love it when ya pick the “over” and one team covers that number all by its lonesome like the Ducks did for us vs. James Madison, who piled up their own scores but mostly against the Drakes depth chart. Both Ds are staunch against lower-tier opponents but generally get dinged for more by quality foes. Tech QB Behren Morton did not play in TTU’s only blemish vs. Arizona State. Assuming he’s okay to start here, he’s still intermittently been in a boot. Even if he sputters, back-up Will Hammond has a good 7-3 ratio in limited action, and RB Cameron Dickey is just south of 1100 rushing yards. Productive Oregon WR Evan Stewart has been out all year, but five other guys continue to catch balls from Dante Moore. Raiders post 480 yards total offense per tilt with 42.5 ppg. Quack Attack goes for 469 and 39.4, respectively. Mallards wore their glow-in-the-dark “Mummy Ducks” unis during 2OT night victory at Beaver Stadium. Maybe they’ll do so again trying to scare the bejeezus outta’ da’ Red Raiders! Based on a coin-flip, the outright victor is...”Guns Up” 34 Pond Poultry 30
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW, in related news, with the No Child Left Behind legislation on-deck for renewal again five years after George W. signed it into law, the Weber Kid joins the effort and starts up “Beer and Doritos with the Vindicator”. The perplexing prognosticator hopes to teach kids how to read betting boards and parlay cards, but also wants to increase math skills by showing students how to convert point-spreads to money lines and vice versa!
Okay, Christmas is over, but from the same post as our “lead story” above ...
Face-painted fans that need to get lives Punters who drop kicks inside of the fives Team-logo keychains and rear-window clings These are a few of Vin’s favorite things.
Little Brown Jugs and those banned end zone dances Paul Bunyan’s axes and onside-kick chances Bobblehead dolls that ain’t from Beijing These are a few of Vin’s favorite things
Roughing the passer and Hail Mary tosses Over-turned fumbles and tackles-fer-losses Underdogs winning their Sugar Bowl rings These are a few of Vin’s favorite things.
While we’re seriously disappointed with USC pulling out of its annual rivalry with Notre Dame, we’re intrigued by the subsequent BYU-Notre Dame home-and-home series. They could call it the “Interfaith Fray” or the “Mormon-Catholic Melee” or something!
Fer those that don’t lay awake at night doing anagrams of coaches’ names, “Kurt Cignetti” becomes “U Gettin’ Trick” and “Utter Ticking”. (Yer welcome!)
Have you guys seen the Penn State punter??!! Nigerian Gabe Nwosu is 6’6” 297 lbs! He tried out fer place-kicker but apparently kept booting the ball thru the FG practice net on the sidelines!
Black Shirt: Our ultimate undershirt goes to...Mother Nature...whose frosty conditions at Yankee Stadium during the Pinstripe Bowl made it difficult to catch or kick the pigskin or even maintain one’s footing, keeping the total “under 48 ½” to support our call on that number.
“Lock of Da’ Week”: Last Week: 0-1 Season: 6-11 (.352) North Texas (-3) was outscored 27-7 in the final stanza, including up 14 with about six minutes left to manage just a 2-point triumph over a previously meh-on-offense gang of Aztecs to hang another “lock” loss on us. (We smell fix!)
Shoppe Talk: We’re stuffin’ Cougars this week as BYU joins the Shoppe at 1-4 (.200).
Vindy’s Week 14 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-2-1 (.333) Season: 28-36 (.437)
Vanderbilt vs. Iowa “under 46 ½”, Texas State –13 over Rice, Navy +7 over Cincinnati, Mississippi State vs. Wake Forest “under 53 ½
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