TRIED-AND-TRUE METHOD DETERMINES CONFERENCE TITLE GAME PAIRING
BOISE, Idaho (UPI)...The local Boise State Broncos have been chosen to host the Mountain West Conference title game against the UNLV Rebels this weekend, but it didn’t come easy. Failing to gain significant separation from each other, four teams created a bottleneck atop the league standings following regular season play. A tie-breaking system utilizing head-to-head competition and common foes comparisons did not provide clear results. Next up on the hierarchy was to be a compilation of metrics to be analyzed by a computer. The teams were not having any of it and by mutual agreement, opted instead for an old school “code of the gladiators”. Staged at USC’s Coliseum and armed with non-lethal wooden swords and shields or nets and pole arms, representatives threw down, with commissioner Gloria Nevarez acting as emperor in overwatch and being granted the authority to determine which squads fought most valiantly to earn berths in Friday’s game.
A half-point too many on the total of the ‘Bama-Auburn game kept us from a third straight 3-2, instead relegating us to just another disappointing 2-3 (33-38-1, .464) last week.
During practice following the bad loss to the Patriots, NY Giants Younghoe Koo drove his foot into the turf while attempting to kick...
THE WEBER KID’S CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK FORECAST
(Breakin’ ankles on the way to the bucket!)
FRI. DEC. 5
AAC Championship (@ New Orleans, LA)
#20 North Texas @ #21 TULANE “under 66 ½”: Wave goes from facing a railcar in Charlotte, arguably the second-worst squad in the country, to hosting the locomotive that is the Mean Green, which is hitting an obscene 511 yards offense per game led by top FBS passer QB Drew Mestermaker, who will likely reach 4000 yards during the match. NT’s only loss was a bad one...in Denton by almost four touchdowns to South Florida but beat conference contender Navy by two scores and edged Western Michigan, which is playing for its own league title (see our “best bets” segment). Tulane’s most-impressive win came at home over Duke, also competing in a title game for the Absolute Chaos Conference (see below). North Texas has broken fitty points in five of its past six and seven times total. Tulane’s contests in Nawlins have averaged a combined 43 points per game and went beyond 66 just twice thus far overall. Navy limited UNT to a season-low 31. Tulane won’t win a shootout and will need to produce a similar effort to have a chance. Mean Green (-2 ½ as we go to press) has covered 9 of 11 to-date and fell 45-37 in ‘24...UNT 34 Wave 27
SAT. DEC. 6
SEC Championship (@ Atlanta, GA)
#3 Georgia (-2 ½) over #10 Alabama: Tide’s 24-21 win in September marked the third straight time it has won (and covered) vs. the Dawgs. It also put the brakes on Joja’s 33-game win streak between da’ hedges. ‘Bama is 9-0 outright in its past 9 plate appearances in the conference title game and needs to make it 10-0 to get a playoff spot. Already an afterthought as we mentioned not long ago, Tide’s rushing game will be furthered hampered by the probable absence of top runner Jam Miller, who was hurt vs. Auburn. Both sides stop the pass fairly well (though Georgia is near the bottom of the land in sacks with only 17). UGA ran for 227 in the earlier matchup. Fourth pairing of these two in this contest in past eight years and one or both have played for the SEC crown every year starting in 2014. Enuff already! Let’s get somebody different on the field. Meanwhile, we like...Joja’ 27 Alabama 20
B10 Championship (@ Indianapolis, IN)
#1 Ohio State vs. #2 Indiana “over 48”: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. We don’t expect either side to run away with it, nor do we see a punkin’-chunkin’ contest. There could easily be 31-35 points on the board by halftime! The defenses have been extraordinary, ranking 1st and 2nd nationally, but neither has gone against the type of prolific offensive machines each other possesses. Coaching experience edge goes to Ryan Day, who oversaw his club through four playoff tilts last year to grab the whole enchilada. Victor obviously gets a first-round bye. Being within one score when the clock shows zeroes might just allow the loser one as well (though considering what happened to teams getting the extra time off in last season’s playoffs, maybe that’s not such a good thing)...Ohio State 38 Indy 30
B12 Championship (@ Arlington, TX)
#11 Brigham Young (+13) over #5 Texas Tech: Rematch of 29-7 victory by Tech, which was basically a one-off for both sides. Cougars have scored at least 24 in every other game. Red Raiders were held to second-lowest output aside from the 22 they got in Tempe (the only stain on the record) but had come into that one as one of only seven teams that had not toppled a Top 10 team over the previous decade (BYU was #8 at the time). That contest produced BYU’s lone loss on the year. Guns Up has taken all their wins by at least 20 points. Cougars have eight of their triumphs by double-digits and strength-of-schedule is 24 places harder than Tech’s. The Cougars can now rest easy, knowing their leadership will remain intact for this duel following a brief interlude with the folks in Happy Valley. Absent or playing through injury in the first matchup, LJ Martin, the country’s rushing yardage leader, will be healthier here and BYU won’t turn it over three times again...TTU 30 BYU 27
ACC Championship (@ Charlotte, NC)
#16 Virginia (-3 ½) over Duke: Blue Devils were one of five clubs to go 6-2 in the ACC this season and got the berth courtesy of conquering the other four in a Jello-wrestling tournament. Should five-loss Duke win this straight up, the conference may not have a CFP representative, instead potentially getting pushed aside in favor of (GASP!) Sun Belt’s James Madison (whom we expect to be proactive and bulldoze Troy since it plays a day ahead of this game [see our “best bets”] and won’t know its fate until after the fact.). In a game we featured in mid-November (and correctly chose as our “upset pick of da’ week”), Wahoos dropped Duke 34-17. We've uncovered nothing to indicate a significant difference in outcome here. Duke, 8-3 “over”, will want a fast pace. Not gonna’ happen vs, Virginia, now 17-7 ATS in conference games the last three years and on a 7-0 “under” streak...VA 31 Duke 21
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW, asked “what is best in life” by a member of the media, one player went full-bore Conan the Barbarian and responded, “Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, hear the lamentations of their coaches.”
For Hoosiers QB Mendoza, we queue up Abba...
Though we never thought that we could lose
There's no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando.
Penn State showing mutual interest in BYU HC Kalani Sitake spurred Crumbl CEO Sawyer Hemsley to mount a serious effort to keep Coach in Provo. Meanwhile, Vindicator was gathering a major counteroffensive, rallying an army of Keebler elves and recruiting higher-ups at Yuengling brewery in Easton, PA as well reaching across state lines to New Jersey to get reinforcements from Rolling Rock beer, which was once concocted in Latrobe. It wasn’t until later your haggard host learned Sitake was a longtime member of the LDS church and wasn’t going to be swayed by a bunch of brewski-swilling woodland creatures!
Just once, we wanna’ hear a coach asked about the future of his team respond with, “Right now, we’re just focused on being 0-1 this week.”
In July, Donald Trump directed the Washington Commanders team to return to “Redskins” or face difficulty getting the okay for a new stadium. Club officials floated a compromise that would result in “Washington Commanders-in-Chiefs"!
Fer the hoops fans, we say...”Count da’ bucket list...and one!”
An FBI contract with the Ultimate Fighting Championship folks may be forthcoming (fer real!), during which MMA fighters will actually train federal agents to “sharpen the combat and conditioning skills” on such topics as “ground & pound”, hammer fists, the butterfly guard, armbar submissions and tapping out, all conducted in an octagon. Can’t wait to see Dr. Spencer Reid take down a serial killer with a rear-naked choke on a future episode of “Criminal Minds”!!!.
Fer the D&D fans out there...”We didn’t ask how big the sportsbook counter was. We said, ‘We cast fireball”!!!’”
SEASON RECAP
BEST WEEKLY EFFORT: Week Two’s perfect 5-0. We’d get close to that only one more time thereafter (4-1 in Week 3).
WORST WEAKLY EFFORT: We suffered a complete 0-5 whitewash in Week 9.
WEBER-FRIENDLIES: (best percentage on da’ predicted side of da’ spread/total minimum 4 at-bats in the picks this season): This season’s Allstate “Yer in Good Hands” Award goes to the Buckeyes (3-1, ,750). Second Place to ‘Bama (4-3, .571).
FLAME-THROWERS: (worst percentage on da’ predicted side of da’ spread/total minimum 4 at-bats in the picks We have a five-way tie for this year’s “Grill-Master Supreme” Award (ya can still see the scorch-marks on our wallet) which goes to Texas (1-3-1, .250), A&M, Texas Tech, Mizzou and Joja’...all at 1-3 (.250).
In order of success, we picked faves 12-8 (.600), under 7-8 (.467), over 5-7 (.417) and dogs 8-15-1 (.347)
Black Shirt: The superb shirt goes to Vandy RB Sedrick Alexander for three TD runs, including a 39-yarder [the final scoring play of the game] that pushed the total “over 65 ½”.
“Lock of Da’ Week”: Last Week: 0-1 Season: 6-8 (.428). TAMU bAggies (-2), ahead 10-3 at the intermission, got outscored by the Steers 24-7 in the second half to wreck our preferred pick.
Shoppe Talk: It’s burgers on da’ house as Texas falls to 1-3-1 (.250)...we just wanna’ know what we did in a previous life to warrant the Cattle going 1-6-1 (.142) back to last year and 2-10-1 (.167) since early ‘23. Joining the Steers are the Aggies, now at 1-3 (.250).
Vindy’s Week 14 Championship Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 (.500) Season: 25-31 (.446)
Kennesaw State vs. Jacksonville State “over 60”, #19 JAMES MADISON –23 over Troy, Nevada-Las Vegas +5 over BOISE STATE, Western Michigan -2 over Miami-Ohio
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