COACHES TRADING "ELMO" FOR VOTES
NEW YORK, New York (Reuters)..."Sold out" signs confront average consumers across the nation as coaches, from Berkeley to Boston and Ann Arbor to Austin, vying desperately to get their teams to the big money bowls have raided toy stores and bought up dozens of TMX Elmos to use as leverage with other coaches and pollsters casting BCS votes. Even those seeking to exploit buyers and scalp the highly-coveted dolls that once simply vibrated and laughed ,but now roll on the floor slamming its fists on the ground and beg the ticklers to stop, on E-Bay are finding limited quantities and are crying "personal foul" and "unsportsmanlike conduct". While not exactly "capitalism at its best", it does suggest a disturbing trend that some schools are willing to pull out all the stops to get bids to high-dollar bowls. Made by Fischer-Price and Mattel at an approximate MSRP of $40 per doll, even the athletic budgets of Sun Belt institutions will support such practices!
Holy crap! Can ya believe we’re already into Week 10!!!! The dogs finally had their breakout ATS week, covering 12 of the 18, sending Weber to 7-11 and 79-83-5 (.487) on the year...
THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 10 FORECAST
WED. NOV. 1
Fresno State over #14 BOISE STATE taking 26 1/2: Broncos are 3-1 ATS in their last 4 and have revenge factor for ‘05 27-7 loss to the Bulldogs. Don’t know what happened this season to "anybody, anywhere, anytime", but they’re lookin’ more like Team "Henny Youngman". If defending WAC champ Fresno has any pride and any motivation left at all, it shows up now... BSU 45 Fresno 23
THURS. NOV. 2
#3 West Virginia over #5 LOUISVILLE taking 1 1/2: Cards lost two wide-outs for this, but those "pass-catchers" were insignificant in the big scheme to the team effort anyhow. Can’t contest the chalk status for Louisville at home, particularly in light of how bad it made Miami look. Mounties come in with their starting backfield intact. Redbirds don’t. Dogs have covered 9 of the 13 non-Saturday games thus far this season, including 8 of the last 10 (pending the Broncos-Bulldogs result)...’Eers 20 Sluggers 17
SAT. NOV. 4
#1 Ohio State over ILLINOIS giving 26 ½: No question, freshman QB "Juice" Williams has given UI a much-need lift, leading them to consecutive conference road ATS wins over Penn State and Wisconsin. Still...we can’t go against Buckeyes laying four touchdowns against lower-tier Big Ten club...OSU 45 Illini 12
#2 MICHIGAN over Ball State giving 34: Wolverines haven’t beaten anybody this season by this many. Cardinals 5-3 ATS but haven’t faced a defense like this...Big Blue 45 BSU 6
Oklahoma State taking #4 TEXAS taking 17: ‘Horns are 4th in the AP but still have ground to make up at #7 in the BCS. They’ll need a decisive win this week to stay close. Have to wonder how long Cowpokes can hold the pace that got ‘em near win in OT over A&M and upset win over Nebraska...Texas 34 Oklahoma State 20
#6 AUBURN over Arkansas State giving 31: Indians are a better team than they showed in 29-0 loss at Florida Atlantic and want to prove that. Unfortunately, Auburn fought for its life at Ol’ Miss last week and will flex a little muscle this weekend...Tigers 47 ASU 7
VANDERBILT over #7 Florida taking 15 ½: Major money’s coming in on the ‘Dores, who are 1-2 ATS at home this year and that speaks to not a lot of confidence in the Gators, who’ve gone 1-5 against the number in their last 6. Florida sports a top-flight defense. Van-Dee ain’t bad either...Crocs 20 Admirals 10
#13 Louisiana State over #8 TENNESSEE giving 3: Bengals want a chance to make up for letting Auburn off the hook in a great defensive battle a few weeks back. Edge on D definitely goes to LSU (allowing 8.3 ppg, second behind only the Buckeyes) as opposed to the Vols (allowing decent, but not great 19.1 ppg). Vols QB Ainge nursing a bad ankle...Tigers 24 Tennessee 13
#9 Southern Cal over STANFORD giving 29: This pick is worthy of "lock" status. After last week’s outright defeat at Oregon State, do ya really think Troy won’t be motivated to absolutely decimate a Stanford team that quit weeks ago??!! It was USC 51-21 last year. Cardinal is 1-7 ATS...Trojans 48 Stanford 9
#10 CAL over Ucla giving 17: Bears have already avenged two of its four losses from ‘05, whacking the Ducks by three touchdowns and holding a solid Wazzou offense to a FG at Pullman. Cal puts away the Bruins big then zeroes in on the remaining offender, USC...Bears 31 Bruins 7
North Carolina over #11 NOTRE DAME taking 28: Leprechauns are 1-4 against the number in South Bend. Tarheels became the final I-A team to snag a spread win last week and gave Wake Forest fits while doing it... Irish 31 UNC 10
#12 Arkansas over SOUTH CAROLINA giving 3: "LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. At worst, this is a push. Gamecocks had their one chance to pull a major upset...and failed. Hogs’ 5th-ranked rushing offense should grind out the adequate victory. More visor-throwin’ for the Ol’ Ball Coach...Pigs 21 SC 10
#15 Rutgers: IDLE (next vs. Louisville 11/9)
#16 Boston College over #22 WAKE FOREST giving 4: BC has been in five games decided by a touchdown or les, including three by five points or fewer. Eagles have beaten better teams than Wake has en route to their identical 7-1 SU records. Deacons were +3 in turnovers and still failed to score on North Carolina over the final 12 minutes of a tight ball game. BC is #11 in the nation vs. the run, Wake’s first choice on offense...BC 24 Wake 17
#17 WISCONSIN over Penn State giving 6 1/2: Oh the shame! Both sides own wins against the same four lower-tier conference squads and both lost to Michigan. State’s miscues cost ‘em against Wolverines and Buckeyes. Badgers boast the better margin of victory over the common foes. Vindy’s heart says "Lions". Vindy’s head says "Wake up and smell the Joe... Paterno!"...Wisky 20 PSU 10
#18 Oklahoma over #21 TEXAS A&M giving 3: Sooners can tie the Aggies for lead in the Big 12 South with the victory. Again, we point out quality-of-opponent discrepancies between A&M’s wins and Oklahoma’s wins. Sooners are recovering nicely since defeat by Texas...OK 27 A&M 20
Maryland over #19 CLEMSON taking 16: Terps carry three-game straight-up win-streak (2-1 ATS) into Death Valley, where the Tigers routinely crush the opposition. U.S. and Russian scientists recently discovered the heaviest known element. They’re calling it... Friedgenium?...Clemson 28 Box Turtles 14
NC STATE over #20 Georgia Tech taking 6: Wolfpack needs to take three of its final four to be post-season eligible. Bees are already there and are jockeying for position now. State’s already pulled off a couple big upsets in Raleigh...Wreck 17 NCSU 14
#23 Virginia Tech over MIAMI giving 2: For that special Hurricanes fan on your Christmas list..."Shackle Me, Elmo". Just squeeze his hand and he’s swings his helmet while talking smack about Florida International!...Hokies 17 ‘Canes 13
Washington over #24 OREGON taking 13 ½: Back-to-back OT losses might just cause Huskies to close up shop. Ducks’ last visit from an Apple State team was a pleasant one, ending in 34-23 loss to the Cougars. Mallards are #5 in total offense, but don’t make the top 10 in rushing or passing, suggesting solid balance... Decoys 35 Dogs 24
#25 WASHINGTON STATE over Arizona giving 16 ½: Can Wildcats’ D cover up for its anemic partners on offense and keep AZ close enough to cover on the road. Arizona’s best output was 28 points against mighty Stephen F. Austin...WSU 27 UA 7
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Soon to hit the holiday shelves..."Tackle Me, Elmo"- comes with pads and helmet. Hit him outta’ bounds, hit him late, drive him into the turf, spear him helmet-to-helmet...and not get flagged!
The BBC revealed last week the name of the offspring of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline to be Jayden James Federline. Damn...Vin was hopin’ for "Nittany Spears"!
Charles Barkley is running for governor of his home state, Alabama, under the slogan, "Everyone’s chicken in my pot." Funny... Ricky Williams, born in San Diego, is running for governor of California...on the platform of "A little pot with every chicken!"
Virtually winless on NFL bets this season, Vindy has converted to the Church of Latter Day New Orleans Saints!
In August, the 70-year-old father of Republican Senator Norm Coleman was arrested in Minnesota for having sex with a 38-year-old woman in a public place. Jay Leno called dad a Democrat. Vindy just calls him...a Viking!
Danny "Little Tark" Tarkanian, son of former Rebels coach Jerry, is running for State Secretary of State in Nevada (insert your own vote-shaving scandal joke here).
Fidel Castro appeared on CSPN (The Communist World Leader in Sports!) this week to announce he’s off the DL and has returned to the practice field, participating in no-contact drills and noting he will continue to provide input on government matters from the sidelines!
"Locked in a Box?": The Middies went down with the ship to sink the lock tally to 5-4 off the coast of Baltimore, where it’ll make a lovely artificial reef!
Shoppe Talk: Irish look ready to accept "Grill-Master Supreme" honors this post-season at 1-7. The Steers return at 2-6. The Sooners are OK after the forecast win this past weekend.
Vindy’s Week 10 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 21-21-1 (.500)
Kansas (PK) over IOWA STATE, TEMPLE +18 1/2 over Central Michigan, Hawaii -28 over UTAH STATE, WESTERN MICHIGAN -10 ½ over Miami-Ohio, East Carolina -6 over CENTRAL FLORIDA