Vindy's Picks is a semi-serious, semi-tongue-in-cheek forecast of the weekly AP Top 25 college football teams against the Las Vegas pointspread. It's all in good fun and I apologize in advance to anyone taking offense...just trying to make it a bit entertaining. The "news stories" are, of course, bogus...but see what fun ya can have with current events!? It's just a hobby, I'm not a "professional" with a mystical mathematical formula to predict winners! Enjoy!
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Between the Hashmarks Week 8-2014
LEADER SIGHTING GOOD NEWS FOR NCAA TEAM?
Texas (AP)…Until Tuesday, when he was spotted with
a walking stick, Kim Jong Un had not been seen in public since September 3rd.
Similarly AWOL have been the offenses of UConn, South Florida, Kent State
and…SMU, which is at the bottom of Division I-A in points-scored, totaling 36
in five games. Putting that in perspective, the next lowest totals belong to
I-AA Cornell (39 points, 0-4 in the Ivy League) and Austin Peay (40, 0-6, in
the Ohio Valley Conference cellar). In addition, the whereabouts of the
Mustangs’ D is still unknown, MIA
since the 2013 regular-season finale (a 17-13 loss to Central Florida). Local
fans believe the positive reemergence of the North Korean leader could likewise
portend good fortune for SMU’s offense, as the Pony Express and teammates this
week host Cincinnati, which has yielded an average of 41 points-per-game thus
far and almost 49 per game over its last three tilts. No truth the rumor that
Jong Un was overheard doing his best Gandalf-at-the-steps-of-Edoras
impersonation from Lord of the Rings: The
Two Towers, quipping, “Oh…you wouldn’t part an old man from his
walking-stick, would you?”
The Northwestern Wildcats will be sportin’ their new
“Gothic” unis vs. Nebraska this week. In related news, the Philadelphia Iggles
donned all-black duds to host the G-Men and pitched a 23-0 shutout. On that
note, we fully concur with N-Dub’s fashion-choice (and recommend a certain well-known
AC/DC tune be blasted over the PA system at Ryan Field!). BTW, after dropping a
tough game to Minnesota (see our betting results below), ‘Cats coach Pat
Fitzgerald said da’ Gophers’ offense “takes half the game away standing in the
huddle and talking about what they’re ordering for dinner.”. Interesting
comment, considering NW had nearly three more minutes in time-of-possession and
won most of the statistical categories. Apparently, the Gilded Gerbils, instead
of hashin’ out a nine-course meal, musta’ simply decided early on DiGiorno pizza!
For all their woes, the hometown-hero Rebels of UNLV
had not coughed-up a fumble (nor had Boston College, Mizzou or [GASP!] Kansas)
entering last Friday’s game vs. Fresno State.Still none for UNLV. Mizzou gave up one in the blow-out loss to Joja’! BC
also lost one while the Jayhawks put it on the ground three times, but recovered all of ‘em, leaving UNLV and Kansas as
the only two teams sans a lost-fumble???!!!
We sent up a signal-flare ahead of Tennessee’s tilt
vs. FCS Chattanooga and Vanderbilt’s contest against FCS Charleston Southern.
The Vols wasted little time putting away their opponent, but the CSU Buccaneers
pulled within a point of the Commodores early in the 4th Quarter and
Vandy held on over the final 10 minutes to escape with the 21-20 win.
If ya didn’t watch Auburn’s demise at Mississippi
State, War Beagle shot itself in the paw early-and-often with penalties in its 35-23
loss. And other mistakes like a missed 27-yard FG attempt didn’t help. But frankly,
the Bulldogs didn’t look all that stellar either, but made Auburn pay for
mistakes. Speaking of errors, UNLV coach Bobby Hauck got called out for
attempting a fake punt from his own side of the field while leading Fresno 17-0
early. MSU tried that too, up 21-0 on Auburn. Ultimately, both teams won their
games, but…Yikes! What were they thinking!
One of the CBS commentators noted the broadcast crew
had no rosters showing anyone for Auburn associated with uniform #91following
an ineligible-substitution flag thrown on a player sporting said-digits! Vindy
spies say the offending player was actually an MSU fan who found an unguarded
uniform, infiltrated the Tigers’ sidelines and waited for an opportune time to
run onto the field and draw the flag! Or maybe it was Jean-Claude Damme, who
once, while portraying a fire-marshal trying to save spectators and players at
a hockey arena from terrorists, slipped onto the ice dressed as a goalie and
stopped a shot during an NHL playoff game in “Sudden Death”!
Many of the home-fans at Davis Wade Stadium were
clad in “Stark Vegas” shirts. Doing some research, we discovered it’s
apparently not unusual for cities with names ending “ville” to swap that suffix
for “Vegas”, which reportedly makes it sound like the berg has more pizazz. Obvious
examples then would be KnoxVegas, LouisVegas and GainesVegas, but we’re
awaiting release of The AmityVegas Horror!
Congrats to Eastern Michigan for upsetting Buffalo
as a two-touchdown underdog and equaling its number of SU wins in each of the
past two seasons. EMU has bested Western
Michigan three straight years and the Broncos show up later on the schedule.
The Eagles went 2-9 ATS (vs. Division I-A teams) in 2013. By our numbers, the
Y-Town Birds are currently 2-2-1 against the line.
Our betting efforts
were fruitless last week after Northwestern (+4) yielded a 100-yard kickoff
return for TD immediately after tying Minnesota at 17-17 mid-4th Quarter,
losing by 7 and wasting a nice cover by Louisville (+9 ½) at Clemson later that
day. Likewise, Air Force (+7) lost by 18 at Utah State to render an outright
win by Boston College (+4) at NC State meaningless. That what Vindy gets for
letting Super-Creepy Rob Lowe decide
his wagers! (BTW, our cable was out, so we spent Saturday down at the
playground watchin’ Pop Warner
No money down yet, but
here’s a few selections we’re considering taking to da’ sportsbook counter…MARYLAND
-4 ½ over Iowa, South Florida -1 ½ over TULSA, Rutgers +19 over OHIO STATE and
Iowa State +12 ½ over TEXAS. Also on the radar…Washington +20 ½ over OREGON.
If yer scorin’ at home,
the underdogs went 12-2-1 ATS (including four outright victories) in the 15
games involving at least one ranked team last week (depending upon where ya had
Stanford. We had the Cardinal at -17, pushing the 34-17 victory vs. Wazzou)!
In a follow-up to last week’s “lead story” about the
Vegas Hempfest, we note that last
May, the NFL contemplated a threshold for positive marijuana drug tests. Sounds
like Pro Bowlers might eventually be able to enjoy a little Maui Wowie and the Cleveland Browns
could grow some Toledo Window Box!
(Raise yer hand if ya know the Toledo
Window Box reference!)
BTW, did anybody else out there realize Super Bowl
48 featured teams from states that legalized recreational marijuana-use. We
were waitin’ to see which side would get whistled first for an illegal
helmet-to-helmet bong-hit! Gave a whole new meanin’ to “shotgun” formation!
On the ice…NHL meets Chemistry…“A beta-blocker save and a beauty!”
And finally…Cowboys RB Joseph Randle got popped for
an attempted five-finger discount of a tester-bottle of cologne and a two-pack
of undies from Dillard’s. Assuming the store recovered the nearly-stolen items,
we have to wonder if Randle will go be forced to go “commando” vs. the Giants
on Sunday. And if so, will he approach Dallas owner Jones and rattle off a Kramer
quote from Seinfeld about boxers vs.
jockeys…”I’m out there, Jerry and I’m
luvvvin’ every minute of it!”?