Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Vindy's Picks Week 3-2015

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (CNN)…The Vegas Vindicator went into protective-mode after catching an Internet headline reading, “Trump Blasts Kelly”. Not an avid follower of politics, the prestigious prognosticator immediately contacted local police departments in Philadelphia, South Bend and New York City to check on the health and welfare of Eagles coach Chip Kelly, Fightin’ Irish coach Brian Kelly, and even Kelly Ripa of Kelly & Michael (Strahan of NY Giants fame). The well-meaning college football oracle was later stunned to know that the intended-target of the vitriol of “The Apprentice” star and brash financial mogul was actually FOX News host Megyn Kelly!

In light of Week Two’s 6-11-1 “performance” (15-20-1, .429 season), reminiscent of an early one in 2014 that led us to close-up shop and take the rest of that season off this time last year, perhaps one of the aforementioned celebrities will return the favor and alert an ATC Spotter (employed by the NFL to watch for signs of concussions and actually stop games to get a distressed player off the field) to keep an eye on Vindy in case he starts repeatedly-banging his head on the sportsbook counter and wanders to the wrong side of the blackjack table to deal pages from…
                                                       THE WEBER KID’S 2015 WEEK 3 FORECAST

(Sponsored this week by AshleyMadison.Com)

#11 Clemson (-5 ½) over LOUISVILLE: For having a depleted defense, Tigers have fared well to-date, yielding just 20 total points, including just 10 to Appalachian State team that averaged 36 ppg last season (though four Mountaineers turnovers and a dozen yellow hankies didn’t help the cause). Da’ Ville dropped a shootout to Houston as almost- two–TD chalk and is now one of two remaining candidates for the Game Four strategy from Marc Lawrence’s Playbook. Com that we mentioned in Week One. Redbirds have been horrible ATS at home the past two years…Tigers 29 Louisville 20

#9 Florida State (-8 ½) over BOSTON COLLEGE: Tribe started slow but pounded the ball on the ground to whack USF by 20. BC lost this one 20-17 last year with just 9 returning starters, same as they have this time. State was, however, coming off a tight victory over Miami just ahead of that game vs. the Eagles. Vindy’s staffers are fitting Chief Osceola’s horse, Renegade, fer an honorary “black shirt” given that da’ Noles (1-1 ATS) are the only team remaining in the Top 25 this week to have gone 2-0 fer Vindy’s Picks thus far!...FSU 24 BC 14

Idaho State @ #BOISE STATE: No line.

Northern Illinois (+34 ½) over #1 OHIO STATE: Up mid-4th Quarter by a mere 17-0 over da’ Bows and knowin’ your flustered forecaster had Hawaii +38, the Buckeyes reeled off three touchdowns in the final 9 minutes to push ????!!!! Are ya freakin’ kiddin’ us????!!!! OSU 42 Huskies 12
#15 Mississippi (+7) over #2 ALABAMA: UPSET ALERT. Tide eventually blew out Wisconsin to start the year, but couldn’t cover the large spread vs. Middle Tennessee State. Coker managed the game okay, throwing for 214 with a TD-pass and a pick, but got help from his running backs, D and special teams. We’ll forgive ‘Bama fer maybe looking ahead last Saturday. Ole Miss accounted for Tide’s only regular-season defeat, winning 23-17 at home. Nick Saban’s crew has lost just once in past 22 home games. Rebels have racked up 149 points in first two matches of 2015…Tide 17 Ole Miss 16

#3 TCU (-38) over Southern Methodist: Ponies, who’ve hit the board for 21 and 31 points, respectively, to open the season after averaging just 11 ppg a year ago, are now 2-0 ATS after barely covering +36 ½ vs. Baylor then beating North Texas last week to equal their SU win total from last season. Horny Toads took this contest 56-zip in 2014, held Stephen F. Austin to a meaningless 4th Quarter score and will grab style-points in 2015 anywhere they can find ‘em…Frog Legs 54 SMU 13
Air Force (+26 ½) over #4 MICHIGAN STATE: Spartans 29 Pilots 13

#5 Baylor: IDLE (next vs. Rice)
Stanford (+10) over #6 USC: USC 21 Trees 14

South Carolina @ #7 GEORGIA (“Under 54”): Gamehens were fortunate to take advantage of interesting play-calls by the Tarheels to secure a late 17-13 victory in Week 1, but fell 26-22 at home to…Kentucky in Week 2. All three of our calls on the total rather than the spread last week went down in flames. Nonetheless, we’ll gingerly venture into that territory again (and unofficially, we’d consider takin’ the Poultry with da’ 17 points). Nick Chubb should get lots of touches and burn clock, while Carolina’s got little on the offensive side of da’ ball. Over the summer, Steve Spurrier fired back at media suggesting the demise of the team was because he was too old to coach. This choice has nothin’ to do with the Ol’ Ball Coach’s chronological-advancement, just about talent on the field and historical results… Joja’ 27 SC 14
#14 Georgia Tech (-2) over #8 NOTRE DAME: This one got a look for “lock of da’ week”.  Irish were fortunate to leave Charlottesville with the dubya after losing QB Zaire and allowing 400+ yards of offense to the Cavs. While Zaire’s stand-in did have a pair of scoring throws, ND will lean on RB C.J. Prosise early. The Bees absorbed 3 sacks in 10 passing attempts in rout of Tulane, but that’s standard operating procedure for the ‘Jackets. Tech covered all five non-ACC games last season, while three of Leprechauns’ five losses were by a combined 10 points…GT 34 Rudy 24

#19 Brigham Young (+17) over #10 UCLA: Should the visitors win this one on a third “Hail Mary”…in as many weeks…,we’ll give up drinkin’, gamblin’ and several other hedonistic-atheist ways and join da’ LDS! Stayin’ on hot Cougars! (Oh wait…let’s re-phrase)….goin’ with streaking Mormons….(hmmm…that didn’t work either)… .um… how ‘bout …UCLA 28 BYU 20
Georgia State (+46) over #12 OREGON: Quack Attack 52 Joja’ State 17

#18 Auburn @ #13 LSU (under 49 ½): LSU 20 Auburn 17
Tulsa (+31) over #16 OKLAHOMA: Sooners 34 Tulsa 17

Nevada-Reno (+34) over #17 TEXAS A&M: We leaned initially toward A&M given that the Aggies totaled 270 rushing yards vs. Ball State and Reno granted 301 to Arizona. But A&M, up 49-3 at the intermission vs. the Cardinals, let Ball State score 20 of the final 27 points after halftime. Wolfpack was competitive, down just 8, before AZ took control in the last two quarters. It’s a big number and TAMU might just concern itself more with SEC opener in Arlington, Texas next week vs. Arkansas, despite Toledo’s upset of the Hogs over the weekend…A&M 48 UNR 24
Northern Arizona @ #20 ARIZONA: No line.

#22 MISSOURI (-21) over Connecticut: We knew UConn was in major rebuilding-mode and we blatantly-ignored that fact, taking da’ Huskies to cover 7 ½ vs. Army as a “best bet” in Week 2. Huskies 2-0 SU but have been dismal road dogs, even when not starting from scratch…Mizzou 34 UConn 10

#23 Northwestern (+3) over DUKE: Wildcats 24 Blue Devils 20
#24 WISCONSIN (-35) over Troy: Wisky 44 Troy 3

Texas-San Antonio (+24) over #25 OKLAHOMA STATE: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. UTSA drew Arizona into a track-meet, but managed just a FG vs. D-minded K-State. Cowboys have been involved in a couple of low-scoring games to-date, but could be enticed to open it up a bit here. State has won the past two seasons by 21 in 2013 and 30 last year.  A trip to Austin looms for …OKSU 31 Roadrunners 21

BTW, Vindy also sent the authorities to check-in on artists and actors Clint Eastwood of Kelly’s Heroes, Kelly Clarkson, Kellie Pickler and Kelly Osbourne…just in case!
Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! Three of the teams we were backin’ last week lost their startin’ quarterbacks (Utah, Notre Dame and UNLV), contributing to blown covers and three of our losses! (Thank you for listening. We now return you to our regularly-scheduled “hash”!)

Sam Boyd Stadium has undergone some cosmetic renovations to provide more of a “home-field” feeling for the Rebels, including diamond-shaped yard-markers and the trademark “Welcome to Vegas” sign in the end zones. Coach Tony Sanchez was mum on other features coming in the future, but prior to the start of the season, said, “We’ll be crankin’ da’ music…”. Hmmm…Vindy interpreted that to mean some Radioactive from Vegas-based Imagine Dragons…or Elvis…maybe even…Britney! We didn’t see da’ game, but based on the 37-3 loss to UCLA, it was apparently selections from…Celine Dion!!!!
Vindy texted a pizza emoji to Domino’s. They delivered a losing two-team parlay-wager!

To add insult to injury, our Eagles -1 over ATLANTA bet, placed a few weeks before the season, also went down in flames! Hey, Chip! We hear Oregon calling!
Speaking of losers, for those outside the region, da’ Mountain Jest played 10 non-conference games last weekend … and put all of ‘em in the “L” column!

Despite the untimely demise of Tom Brady’s cell-phone, officials at Northeast Bell report the pretty-boy Patriots QB was generally-aware of telephone-operator Gilda Radner making connections within a few-too-few ringy-dingies and is now under investigation by the FCC.
Congrats to Boston’s David Ortiz fer swattin’ HR #500 on Saturday! BTW, if the Red Sox slugger meets a certain medicinal- substance from “Game of Thrones”, would it be called…“Milk of the Big Papi”???!!!

Early in the baseball season, Pete Rose became a pre-game guest studio analyst for FOX Sports Network. His tenure was cut short after he was seen bowlin’ over a FOX baseball broadcast-anchor in an effort to dislodge his microphone!
“Wish We Had It Back”: Uh-huh. Pick one from last week….but we did peg our Idaho-plus–a- truckload over USC as our “best guess” for this category!

Locked in a Box?”:   Irish lost their starting QB and almost lost outright to drop the lock record to 0-2 (.000).    
Black Shirt: Goes to Eastern Michigan coach Chris Creighton, who helped his club win its first FBS non-conference game since mid-2012 and brought home Vindy’s only correct “best bet” selection in Week 2!

Shoppe Talk: Sooners solidified their footing at the Shoppe (0-2 on the season [.000] and now 4-13 streak [.235]). And upon further review, Clemson was actually 3-9 headin’ into this year (not 2-6 as we noted originally) and now 0-1 on the season (.000), but also on 3-10 (.231) streak in the picks, joining OK on the walls of the Shoppe!
Vindy’s Week 3 Best Bets:   Wake Forest-ARMY “under” 47 ½, Temple -10 ½ over UMASS, NAVY -3 ½ over East Carolina, Southern Miss +3 over TEXAS STATE  Last Week: 1-3     Season: 3-5 (.400)


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