LOCAL
SPORTS-ORACLE IN HIDING AFTER INCIDENT
LAS
VEGAS (UPI)…Unable to shake the seven forecast-win
albatross along with 12 losses and a pair of ties (38-47-3, .447), the Vegas
Vindicator calmly ascended the requisite number of elevator trips and stairs to
reach the Big Shot thrill-attraction atop the Stratosphere Hotel & Casino
resort here in Sin City, boarded the ride and somewhere in that momentary
feeling of weightlessness, cut ties with his crystal ball. The globe hit the
ground below, shattering into thousands of shards, startling tourists and
locals alike. Quickly making his way down, backing-off security forces by
brandishing a copy of his Week Five picks and threatening to make a nearby
casino-employee wager with them, scampered away onto Las Vegas Boulevard, where
eye-witnesses claim to see the fugitive-forecaster spirited-away by an Amazon delivery-drone to parts-unknown.
Speculation is that the Weber Kid has scurried-off to that place where the President
of the United States is taken in the event of nuclear holocaust. Citizens are
advised that while Vindy’s Picks are considered clearly unarmed, they should still be approached
with caution.
In a week that saw the underdog-pound rule at
12-6-2, we tanked on our “lock”, “upset” pick and both “minor upset” selections
(though Wisconsin covered and Joja’ pushed). Comin’ at ya wearin’ a fake
mustache, from behind a curtain and over an encrypted-channel, it’s…
THE
WEBER KID’S 2016 WEEK 6 FORECAST
(Droppin’
flares from Air Forecast One to
deceive sportsbook missiles!)
FRI.
OCT. 7
#3
Clemson @ BOSTON COLLEGE (“under 46”): Tigers 24 BC 9
NEW
MEXICO (+17) over #19
Boise State: With very-unsightly loss by San Diego State to Fun Belt’s
South ‘Bama, Broncos (and perhaps Air Force, who hosts BSU to close the regular
season) look like Mountain Jest’s best chance for big-dollar bowl, but other
teams are closin’ the gap. Defense-minded USU hung around long enough to cover
vs. State last week. Lobos’ outright losses to Rutgers and rival New Mexico
State and near-squandering of an early-4th Quarter three-score
advantage before outlasting San Josie do not bode well for the home team. We’re
counting on both sides leaning on big running games and shortening the contest
enough for New Mexico to grab a cover …Boise State 31 Lobos 18
SAT.
OCT. 8
#1Alabama
(-14) over #16 ARKANSAS: Tide 31 Bacon Strips 14
#2
OHIO STATE (-29 ½) over Indiana: Buckeyes 45 Hoosiers 10
#4
Michigan (-28) over RUTGERS: Big Blue 48 Knights 17
#5
Washington (-8) over OREGON: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. The
return of RB Royce Freeman did not prevent an 18-point defeat for the Mallards
at Wazzou. Huskies look like the class of the 12-PAC and lost by just 6 last
year after being abused mightily by Oregon much of the last decade and get to
return the favor. Drakes have just four losses in last two dozen contests on
the Pond, but even Sesame Street’s Ernie
wants nuthin’ to do with these
rubber-duckies…UDUB 41 Ducks 24
NAVY
(+18) over #6 Houston: Best guess for “wish we had it
back”. We watched the Midshipmen at
Air Force last Saturday. They just don’t look like the same team without
now-graduated QB Keenan Reynolds. While Navy was down just 3-0 at the
intermission, they suffered a lost fumble, a pick and a punt-block to lose
28-14 in a game that was pretty much all-Pilots until the 4th
Quarter and only a meaningless TD with about half-a-minute left made it even
that close. Ensigns have gone 17-2 outright in past 19 at the friendly-marina
(with both defeats coming in 2014 to Western Kentucky and [GASP!] Rutgers!])
but haven’t hosted a Top 25 opponent in at least 5 years. Middies have dropped
UConn by 4 and Tulane by 7. A peek at the last five post-USAF tilts shows 2-3
SU/1-3 ATS (with one FCS game in there). Coogs won by three scores last year
after previously-mentioned 2015 lone-loss to UConn, are either 3-1 ATS or 3-0-1
depending on whose closing spreads ya look at, and 10-1 as road-chalk in last
11 in that role. Still, can’t shake tiny bookie dressed in red suit with horns
and pitchfork on Vindy’s shoulder prodding him to take the points…UH 31 Boat People 17
#7
Louisville: IDLE (next vs. Duke)
#9
Tennessee (+6 ½) over #8 TEXAS A&M: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1…Vols
29 Aggies 27
#23
Florida State @ #10 MIAMI (“under 65 ½”): Second choice
for “lock”. Hurricanes shushed
doubters (fer da’ moment) with two
touchdown-win (and cover) at Joja’
Tech. Last two years have gone to the ‘Noles by 4 and 5 points. Pelicans are
now 8-2-1 as home-faves and schedule shows the remaining tough games in Coral Gables. ‘Canes haven’t beaten
FSU since start of 2009 season, but have lot just 4 home contests in past three
years. Tribe absorbed last-play 54-yard FG to lose shoot-out in Tallahassee to
North Carolina. Miami needs to come out big early, but even a romp in one
direction or the other yields relatively-few total points because State will
run Dalvin Cook, who’ll get his yardage and a couple scores. Miami ain’t got a
Lamar Jackson…’Canes 24 FSU 20
#11
Wisconsin: IDLE (next vs. Ohio State)
#12
Nebraska: IDLE (next @ INDIANA)
#13
Baylor: IDLE (next vs. Kansas)
#14
Mississippi: IDLE (next @ ARKANSAS)
WASHINGTON
STATE (+7 ½) over #15
Stanford: Trees 24 Wazzou 21
#17
NORTH CAROLINA (-2 ½ ) over #25 Virginia Tech: Hokies
enter this week rested, while ‘Heels have to negotiate emotions off 54-yard FG
on final play the beat Florida State last week to tally past pair of victories
by total of three points! ‘Heels are coughin’-up average of 31 ppg-against and
get sammich-game between ‘Noles and trip to Miami. Hokies haven’t been money in games decided by 7 or less last
two campaigns. UNC won by a FG in 2015 following losses the previous two years…’Heels
40 Tech 34
Louisiana
State (-2 ½ and “under 42”) over #18 FLORIDA: While
a home-rout of Mizzou isn’t definitive, it does
build confidence with the new coach and new (for now) RB for the Bengals. State’s
beaten Florida three straight years. Gators collapse vs. Tennessee and
struggles to get past Vandy are worrisome. Let the conference-cannibalism
continue…LSU 20 Florida 14
Texas
(+10) over #20 Oklahoma (@Dallas, TX): Horns (+16 at the time)
won in an upset last season, 24-17. Both sides giving up a lot more points this
year. We predict the losing-coach doesn’t get to go trick-or-treating with his
current players on his current campus. This PC
contest is now known as the “Red River Showdown”?!
Geez, are hockey games and soccer matches now going to showdowns if not settled in OT??!! Pfffttt! Fine…in da’ Red River Show-Tunes/Sho-Gun/Showgirls/Showboat,
we like…Sooners 41 Texas 34
#21
Colorado (+5 ½) over USC: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. Buffs
see the rankings from the inside for first time since 2009 (which also saw them
put 5 of final 8 games in the “L’-column!). Almost bet vs. them laying 18 vs.
da’ Beavers. Happy we didn’t. Troy
whacked defenseless bunch of Sun Devils that lost starting QB before the half
to rise to 2-3 SU/ATS. USC edged
Colorado 27-24 in 2015. Phil Steele notes the Buffaloes took 8 conference
defeats by a TD or less the past two seasons, and had won just 10 games overall
the past three years coming into 2016. SoCal has now covered just 3 of last 14
vs. ranked foes and basically faces a must-win situation because the rest of
the slate is not conducive to grabbing enough victories for
bowl-eligibility…Bison 38 USC 34
#22
West Virginia: IDLE (next @ TEXAS TECH)
Arizona
(+9 ½) over #24 UTAH: Utes 24 AZ 17
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
BTW, our secret location is downtown Vegas in the
basement of the Golden Gate casino,
where our protagonist finds himself disguised as a scantily-clad dealer-tainer
and consuming mass-quantities of 99-cent shrimp cocktails! Shhhhh!
With Dak Prescott leadin’
the charge fer da’Cowboys, Arts-N-Craftsy Tony Romo is helpin’
Vindy channel his frustrations into
papier-mâché!
Eastern-Freakin’-
Michigan is 4-1 SU???!!!!
FYI…we hit both (yes, both) of our calls on the total
in Week 5!!!! (And we got three more total
selections this week! Uh-oh!)
In June, Broncos DC Wade
Phillips got presented a Super Bowl Fitty ring (Our Precioussssssss) bearing not his own name, but rather that of “Adam
Peters” (team director of college scouting). Coulda’ been worse. Coulda’ been
engraved as actress Bernadette Peters (whom we know from her role in Young Frankenstein) or…(GASP!)…John
Phillips of Da’ Mamas & Da’ Papas or actors Lou Diamond Phillips (from Courage Under Fire and multiple
horror-flicks including a Vindy-fave, Route
666) or troubled actress MacKenzie Phillips (whom we recognize from
comedy-series One Day at a Time)!
Former Joja’Bulldog/NFL
running back meets The Walking Dead
meets minor league baseball in…“Herschel Walker’s Farm-Team”???!!!!
Tim Tebow, who roamed the high school baseball diamond before starring on the
Gainesville gridiron, went yard on
the first ball he was thrown in the Mets’ instructional league. Sadly, he struck
his signature pose before leaving the batter’s box, triggering a bench-clearing
brawl! (In all seriousness, we hope Timmy T-Bone’s MLB career works out better
than Michael Jordan’s and doesn’t end up getting a role in remakes of “A League
of Their Own” or “Da’ Bad News Bears”!
“Locked
in a Box?”: Da’
Corn Meal started too-slowly vs. the Illini and did not cover three touchdowns,
lowering the record to 3-2 (.600).
Black
Shirt: In a rare award to a big ugly, we gift-wrap and personally-deliver this week’s Black
Shirt to New Mexico State OL Sebastian Anderson, who recovered the fumble of
Aggies teammate RB Larry Rose III in the end zone for a TD to win it in double-overtime
vs. UL-Lafayette, notching our fourth “best bet” dubya on the weekend!
Shoppe
Talk: Joining da’ fray is Texas A&M at 1-3 (.250). Hangin’ around despite posting a win
or a push are ‘Bama (1-3-1), Rocky Top
(1-3-1) and Flo-Rida (1-3)…all at
.250. In case yer wonderin’ at home, the Weber-Friendliest squads to-date are UDUB, Stanford and Florida State…all
3-1 (.750) so far.
Vindy’s
Week 6 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-2 Season:
16-12 (.571) (And because we’re talented
like that, we paired each of our two ATS-losers
with each of our ATS-weiners…and got nuthin’ and liked it!) TULSA -17 over
Southern Methodist, Sudden Mist -16 over UTSA, Eastern Meeshigan +17 over
TOLEDO, WYOMING +10 ½ over Air Force,
Brigham Young +5 ½ over MICHIGAN STATE, Army +4 over DUKE, SOUTH CAROLINA +7 ½
over Joja’
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