DECISION
LEAVES BRIT TEAMS IN LIMBO
IRVING,
Texas (ITAR-Tass)…British voters
ultimately agreed this summer to cut ties with the European Union and go it alone. Immediately following that revelation,
representatives of the Big Twelve, Conference USA and Sun Belt lobbied heavily
to bring the Brits into their respective folds! Big 12 commissioner Bob Bowlsby
last week declared it would not, in fact, expand and would stand-pat for now
with the current ten clubs. In fact, the “Brexit” left Oxford playing as an FBS
Independent this season, while University of Cambridge will be granted
provisional I-A status as part of the Colonial
USA and will not be eligible to play in a bowl until 2018.
Current World Series participant 1B Anthony Rizzo
dispatched a playoffs hitting-slump last week by borrowing some wood from
Cubbies’ teammate Matt Szczur. Vindy also commandeered said-stick from
said-Major Leaguer and proceeded to whup the bejeezus outta’ his unsuspecting crystal
ball. The results?...a sparkling 13-4 for Week 8, bringing us almost back even
on the year at 66-67-3 (.496). By the way, in a close-vote, the Vegas Vindicator
was also recently the bridesmaid to Bob Dylan for the Nobel Prize in literature
after scribbling down…
THE
WEBER KID’S 2016 WEEK 9 FORECAST
(HALLOWEEN
EDITION: “Straight Outta’ Goblin”!)
THURS.
OCT. 27
#25
Virginia Tech @ PITT (“over 56 ½”): At Heinz Field, we
expect Pitt’s offense (and lack of scoring-defense) to dictate the pace, at 5-1
“over” in six games and all of da’ Panthers’ opponents have dented the
scoreboard for at least 27, except I-AA Villanova. Hokies also show 4-2 to the “over”. Don’t be surprised if Pitt (+4)
manages the outright upset…Pitt 37 VT 34
FRI.
OCT. 28
#22
Navy (+7 ½) over SOUTH FLORIDA: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK…Sailors
30 USF 28
SAT.
OCT. 29
#1
Alabama: IDLE (next @ LSU)
MICHIGAN
STATE (+23 ½) over #2 Michigan: Jim Harbaugh calls-off
the dogs up mere 41-8 with more than half
the final quarter to-play???!!! We call “Fix”!!!!!
The local sportsbooks around town have sent a nice “donation” to Big Blue’s
liberal-arts college scholarship fund! Just second road tilt for Michigan on
the campaign. Sparty’s in shambles, but will go all-in here to try to save some
face in light of a bad season currently noted as 2-5 and needs to nearly win-out
to avoid missing the post-season for first time since 2006. UM is looking for
payback, having lost three consecutive years to Little Brother...Michigan 27 MSU 10
#3
Clemson (-4) over #12 FLORIDA STATE: Chalk
getting our blessing this week is in the minority, but Tigers escaped
Louisville-game unscathed. ‘Noles didn’t show up vs. the Cardinals. Clemson
shoulda’ letdown vs. Boston College, not vs. Wolfpack, but so be it. Dalvin
Cook should get his rushing yards (#9 nationally at 128+ ypg vs. Clemson’s
run-D…132+ ypg, but just 7 ground scores allowed). Though Tribe’s only demise
in past 23 games at Doak Campbell came by 2 to North Carolina earlier this
month, State’s four-year string of BCS/NewYear’s Six bowls (as noted by Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com) ends
here…CU 29 FSU 18
#4
Washington (-10) over #17 UTAH: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. We
put our unconditional faith in Washington for the second time this season. Utes
continue to win by slight-of-hand (oh…and four interceptions), including game at
UCLA as a more-than-touchdown underdog. Joe Williams still gets no respect at
QB. Just third road contest for UDUB on the season, but Utah won by
double-digits in Seattle last year and Huskies have won by at least 24 points
in all but one game to-date. Sled Dogs go for 11th-straight victory
while Utes’ only loss in 11 tilts in Salt Lake was to the Bruins late last
year. But the 2016 year’s Utes ain’t Navy…Washington
38 Utah 20
#5
Louisville (-32 ½) over VIRGINIA: Cards 51 Cavs 17
Northwestern
(+27) over #6 OHIO STATE: Buckeyes 34 NW 20
#11
WISCONSIN (-8) over #7 Nebraska: In a reference that
only the Rocky Horror Picture Show
fans will understand….”Say!…Do any of
you guys know how to…Madison?!” The Ouija board predicts Bad Tommy throws a pair of INTs in this
one…Badgers 24 Huskers 13
#8
Baylor (-3) over TEXAS: ‘Horns shot themselves in the
hooves in last week’s FG-loss at K-State. At 3-4 SU, we figure a defeat here
will be Charlie Strong’s last one in
the burnt-orange. Steers enjoyed a +4 turnover-margin in last season’s 23-17
win over da’ Bears, one of just three losses by Baylor in 2015. Phil Steele’s
#1 Most-Improved Team has not translated that vote-of-confidence to the
win-loss record. Look for Senior QB Seth Russell to eventually salt-away the
win and cover for…Baylor 44 Texas 37
#9
TEXAS A&M (-43 ½) over New Mexico State: Best guess for
“wish we had it back” as we changed our initial gut-reaction pick, but NMSU has
been one of the worst teams in the league and is playing in next-to-last season
as part of the Stun Belt conference. State had gone 1-5 ATS facing Power Five
teams until barely covering in earlier 20-point loss at Kentucky and has
current overall spread skid of 12-21-1. Not sure how much this match will mean
to A&M, who gets Mississippi State next after their mojo was ruined by
‘Bama’s fumble return for a score last week. NMSU yielded 62, 52 and 55 at
Kentucky, Troy and Idaho, respectively…A&M 57 NMSU 10
OKLAHOMA
STATE (+4) over #10 West Virginia: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. In
OT…Cowboys 34 WVU 31
WYOMING
(+13 ½) over #13 Boise State: Runner-up choice for “lock”…Broncos 31 Cowboys 23
Georgia
(+7 ½) over #14 Florida (@ Jacksonville, FL): Gators
have dominated World’s Largest Outdoor (Shrimp)
Cocktail Party the past two years and Joja’ has gone poor 1-3-1 ATS in past
five games this season, including 17-16 loss to Vandy between da’ hedges ahead
of the bye week. Florida still has no
scoring offense, getting 21 of its 40 points vs. Mizzou on defense and special
teams. ‘Dawgs need more production from the running backs but get their top
pair of defenders back on the field for this one. “Under 43 ½” wouldn’t be a
bad choice, but we’ll jump on more-than-a-TD with UGA…Florida 20 Joja’ 17
#15
Auburn (-4) over MISSISSIPPI: Tigers 38 Rebels 28
Kansas
(+40 ½) over #16 OKLAHOMA: Sooners 54 Blue Birds 20
SOUTH
CAROLINA (+13 ½) over #18 Tennessee: Da’ Poultry finally banged
the board for more than 20 points in 2016 as they held-on in Columbia to dodge
UMass. Vols have beaten only Virginia Tech (though we respect that) by double-digits (on a neutral site) and last three
games in this series have been decided by 2, 3 and 3… Tennessee 27 Carolina 19
#19
Louisiana State: IDLE (next vs. Alabama)
#20
Western Michigan: IDLE (next @ Ball State 11/1)
#21
North Carolina: IDLE (next vs. Georgia Tech)
#23
Colorado: IDLE (next vs. UCLA 11/3)
PURDUE
(+11) over #24 Penn State: Nifty Lions haven’t seen the Top 25
from the inside since 2011. We’re
cheerin’ against a one-and-done as they look to put a fourth straight game in
the dubya-column since the debauchery at Ann Arbor having overcome early
special-teams mistakes (blocked FG try and a muffed punt) to pull off a major
upset last Saturday!...We Are 24 Boilermakers 16
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
BTW, after the Big 12 announcement, Iowa State AD
Jamie Pollard tweeted that the conference was “Just the Mountain West” minus da’
Sooners and Steers. Mimicking the
thought was English Premier League Executive Chairman Richard Scudamore, who
said “without Cambridge and Liverpool, we’re just…Scotland!”
For the Nobel Prize Committee, who’s been feeling slighted by Mr. Dylan’s lack of commentary
on his hardware, Bob has authorized our fab-forecaster to relay this message…“Yo,
Nobel homies…thanks. It’s da’ bomb!”
Da’ Pittsburgh Steelers
conducted preseason-workouts with robotic tackling-dummies. The robots can also
simulate the NFL running back position as well. In fact, QB I, Robotlisberger
was overheard audibling “Klaatu, Beretta, nickleback!”, to which his
sentient-machine teammate responded, “Danger, danger, Will Robinson!”
Rocky
Horror Picture Show meets football stoppage of play…”Lettttt’s…doooo…da’
Tiiiiiime-Outt..againnnnnn!” (“It’s
just a jump-offsides to the left…and a stutter-step to the riiiii-iiight.”). In a related topic, Steelers
WR Antonio Brown drew a yellow hankie a few weeks ago for a post-TD pelvic thrust. Clearly, the official-in-question
is not a fan of the
aforementioned-movie or its dance-scenes!
With the NBA regular-season tippin’-off yesterday,
we can’t help but inquire…if former
Gators-standout-turned- Chicago Bulls player meets a popular series about
zombies on AMC, is it….”The Joakim Noah Dead”???!! (Okay, go ahead
and boo that one!)
On the big screen this weekend…Picknado! Featuring cameos by Donald Trump, Kendra Wilkinson,
Vladimir Putin, Roger Goodell, Lance Henriksen, Miranda Lambert, Jon Stewart,
UNLV coach Tony Sanchez, Caitlyn Jenner, Kurt Russell, Sean Astin, Ben Grimm,
Ben Affleck, Ryan
Lochte, penultimate undecided-voter Ken Bone and Billy Bush!
“Locked
in a Box?”: We
correctly picked 13 of 17 selections, but our “lock of da’ week”, Michigan, was
one of da’ four that failed (because
that’s our secret super-power!)
lowering the record to 5-3 (.600).
Black
Shirt: This week’s tremendous-tee goes to Boise State K Tyler
Rausa for tanking on a pair of makeable FGs from 32 and 30 yards out, putting
BYU in position to nearly pull off our upset pick of da’ week and at minimum,
giving us a Thursday-night forecast win to send us up +1 into Saturday’s
contests!
Shoppe
Talk: Most of da’ usual suspects (Florida, Tennessee and
Clemson) were idle, but the Aggies cooperated and get a weekend pass at 2-4
(.333).
Vindy’s
Week 9 Best Bets: Last
Week: 2-2 Season:
23-20 (.535)
Kansas State @ IOWA STATE “under 51”, UTSA -3 ½ over
North Texas, Unlv @ SAN JOSIE STATE “over 57 ½”, Kentucky +4 over MISSOURI,
HAWAII -3 ½ over New Mexico, New Mexico @ HAWAII “over 66”,
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