Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Vindy's Picks Week 9-2016

IRVING, Texas (ITAR-Tass)…British voters ultimately agreed this summer to cut ties with the European Union and go it alone. Immediately following that revelation, representatives of the Big Twelve, Conference USA and Sun Belt lobbied heavily to bring the Brits into their respective folds! Big 12 commissioner Bob Bowlsby last week declared it would not, in fact, expand and would stand-pat for now with the current ten clubs. In fact, the “Brexit” left Oxford playing as an FBS Independent this season, while University of Cambridge will be granted provisional I-A status as part of the Colonial USA and will not be eligible to play in a bowl until 2018.
Current World Series participant 1B Anthony Rizzo dispatched a playoffs hitting-slump last week by borrowing some wood from Cubbies’ teammate Matt Szczur. Vindy also commandeered said-stick from said-Major Leaguer and proceeded to whup the bejeezus outta’ his unsuspecting crystal ball. The results?...a sparkling 13-4 for Week 8, bringing us almost back even on the year at 66-67-3 (.496). By the way, in a close-vote, the Vegas Vindicator was also recently the bridesmaid to Bob Dylan for the Nobel Prize in literature after scribbling down…

(HALLOWEEN EDITION: “Straight Outta’ Goblin”!)

#25 Virginia Tech @ PITT (“over 56 ½”): At Heinz Field, we expect Pitt’s offense (and lack of scoring-defense) to dictate the pace, at 5-1 “over” in six games and all of da’ Panthers’ opponents have dented the scoreboard for at least 27, except I-AA Villanova. Hokies also show 4-2 to the “over”. Don’t be surprised if Pitt (+4) manages the outright upset…Pitt 37 VT 34

FRI. OCT. 28
#22 Navy (+7 ½) over SOUTH FLORIDA: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK…Sailors 30 USF 28

SAT. OCT. 29
#1 Alabama: IDLE (next @ LSU)

MICHIGAN STATE (+23 ½) over #2 Michigan: Jim Harbaugh calls-off the dogs up mere 41-8 with more than half the final quarter to-play???!!! We call “Fix”!!!!! The local sportsbooks around town have sent a nice “donation” to Big Blue’s liberal-arts college scholarship fund! Just second road tilt for Michigan on the campaign. Sparty’s in shambles, but will go all-in here to try to save some face in light of a bad season currently noted as 2-5 and needs to nearly win-out to avoid missing the post-season for first time since 2006. UM is looking for payback, having lost three consecutive years to Little Brother...Michigan 27 MSU 10
#3 Clemson (-4) over #12 FLORIDA STATE: Chalk getting our blessing this week is in the minority, but Tigers escaped Louisville-game unscathed. ‘Noles didn’t show up vs. the Cardinals. Clemson shoulda’ letdown vs. Boston College, not vs. Wolfpack, but so be it. Dalvin Cook should get his rushing yards (#9 nationally at 128+ ypg vs. Clemson’s run-D…132+ ypg, but just 7 ground scores allowed). Though Tribe’s only demise in past 23 games at Doak Campbell came by 2 to North Carolina earlier this month, State’s four-year string of BCS/NewYear’s Six bowls (as noted by Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com) ends here…CU 29 FSU 18

#4 Washington (-10) over #17 UTAH: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. We put our unconditional faith in Washington for the second time this season. Utes continue to win by slight-of-hand (oh…and four interceptions), including game at UCLA as a more-than-touchdown underdog. Joe Williams still gets no respect at QB. Just third road contest for UDUB on the season, but Utah won by double-digits in Seattle last year and Huskies have won by at least 24 points in all but one game to-date. Sled Dogs go for 11th-straight victory while Utes’ only loss in 11 tilts in Salt Lake was to the Bruins late last year. But the 2016 year’s Utes ain’t Navy…Washington 38 Utah 20
#5 Louisville (-32 ½) over VIRGINIA: Cards 51 Cavs 17

Northwestern (+27) over #6 OHIO STATE: Buckeyes 34 NW 20
#11 WISCONSIN (-8) over #7 Nebraska: In a reference that only the Rocky Horror Picture Show fans will understand….”Say!…Do any of you guys know how toMadison?!” The Ouija board predicts Bad Tommy throws a pair of INTs in this one…Badgers 24 Huskers 13

#8 Baylor (-3) over TEXAS: ‘Horns shot themselves in the hooves in last week’s FG-loss at K-State. At 3-4 SU, we figure a defeat here will be Charlie Strong’s last one in the burnt-orange. Steers enjoyed a +4 turnover-margin in last season’s 23-17 win over da’ Bears, one of just three losses by Baylor in 2015. Phil Steele’s #1 Most-Improved Team has not translated that vote-of-confidence to the win-loss record. Look for Senior QB Seth Russell to eventually salt-away the win and cover for…Baylor 44 Texas 37
#9 TEXAS A&M (-43 ½) over New Mexico State: Best guess for “wish we had it back” as we changed our initial gut-reaction pick, but NMSU has been one of the worst teams in the league and is playing in next-to-last season as part of the Stun Belt conference. State had gone 1-5 ATS facing Power Five teams until barely covering in earlier 20-point loss at Kentucky and has current overall spread skid of 12-21-1. Not sure how much this match will mean to A&M, who gets Mississippi State next after their mojo was ruined by ‘Bama’s fumble return for a score last week. NMSU yielded 62, 52 and 55 at Kentucky, Troy and Idaho, respectively…A&M 57 NMSU 10

OKLAHOMA STATE (+4) over #10 West Virginia: MINOR UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. In OT…Cowboys 34 WVU 31
WYOMING (+13 ½) over #13 Boise State: Runner-up choice for “lock”Broncos 31 Cowboys 23

Georgia (+7 ½) over #14 Florida (@ Jacksonville, FL): Gators have dominated World’s Largest Outdoor (Shrimp) Cocktail Party the past two years and Joja’ has gone poor 1-3-1 ATS in past five games this season, including 17-16 loss to Vandy between da’ hedges ahead of the bye week. Florida still has no scoring offense, getting 21 of its 40 points vs. Mizzou on defense and special teams. ‘Dawgs need more production from the running backs but get their top pair of defenders back on the field for this one. “Under 43 ½” wouldn’t be a bad choice, but we’ll jump on more-than-a-TD with UGA…Florida 20 Joja’ 17
#15 Auburn (-4) over MISSISSIPPI: Tigers 38 Rebels 28

Kansas (+40 ½) over #16 OKLAHOMA: Sooners 54 Blue Birds 20
SOUTH CAROLINA (+13 ½) over #18 Tennessee: Da’ Poultry finally banged the board for more than 20 points in 2016 as they held-on in Columbia to dodge UMass. Vols have beaten only Virginia Tech (though we respect that) by double-digits (on a neutral site) and last three games in this series have been decided by 2, 3 and 3… Tennessee 27 Carolina 19   

#19 Louisiana State: IDLE (next vs. Alabama)
#20 Western Michigan: IDLE (next @ Ball State 11/1)

#21 North Carolina: IDLE (next vs. Georgia Tech)
#23 Colorado: IDLE (next vs. UCLA 11/3)

PURDUE (+11) over #24 Penn State: Nifty Lions haven’t seen the Top 25 from the inside since 2011. We’re cheerin’ against a one-and-done as they look to put a fourth straight game in the dubya-column since the debauchery at Ann Arbor having overcome early special-teams mistakes (blocked FG try and a muffed punt) to pull off a major upset last Saturday!...We Are 24 Boilermakers 16

BTW, after the Big 12 announcement, Iowa State AD Jamie Pollard tweeted that the conference was “Just the Mountain West” minus da’ Sooners and Steers. Mimicking the thought was English Premier League Executive Chairman Richard Scudamore, who said “without Cambridge and Liverpool, we’re just…Scotland!”
For the Nobel Prize Committee, who’s been feeling slighted by Mr. Dylan’s lack of commentary on his hardware, Bob has authorized our fab-forecaster to relay this message…“Yo, Nobel homies…thanks. It’s da’ bomb!”

Da’ Pittsburgh Steelers conducted preseason-workouts with robotic tackling-dummies. The robots can also simulate the NFL running back position as well. In fact, QB I, Robotlisberger was overheard audibling “Klaatu, Beretta, nickleback!”, to which his sentient-machine teammate responded, “Danger, danger, Will Robinson!”
Rocky Horror Picture Show meets football stoppage of play…”Lettttt’s…doooo…da’ Tiiiiiime-Outt..againnnnnn!” (“It’s just a jump-offsides to the left…and a stutter-step to the riiiii-iiight.”). In a related topic, Steelers WR Antonio Brown drew a yellow hankie a few weeks ago for a post-TD pelvic thrust. Clearly, the official-in-question is not a fan of the aforementioned-movie or its dance-scenes!

With the NBA regular-season tippin’-off yesterday, we can’t help but inquire…if former Gators-standout-turned- Chicago Bulls player meets a popular series about zombies on AMC, is it….”The Joakim Noah Dead”???!! (Okay, go ahead and boo that one!)
On the big screen this weekend…Picknado! Featuring cameos by Donald Trump, Kendra Wilkinson, Vladimir Putin, Roger Goodell, Lance Henriksen, Miranda Lambert, Jon Stewart, UNLV coach Tony Sanchez, Caitlyn Jenner, Kurt Russell, Sean Astin, Ben Grimm, Ben Affleck, Ryan Lochte, penultimate undecided-voter Ken Bone and Billy Bush!

“Locked in a Box?”:    We correctly picked 13 of 17 selections, but our “lock of da’ week”, Michigan, was one of da’ four that failed (because that’s our secret super-power!) lowering the record to 5-3 (.600).   
Black Shirt: This week’s tremendous-tee goes to Boise State K Tyler Rausa for tanking on a pair of makeable FGs from 32 and 30 yards out, putting BYU in position to nearly pull off our upset pick of da’ week and at minimum, giving us a Thursday-night forecast win to send us up +1 into Saturday’s contests!

Shoppe Talk: Most of da’ usual suspects (Florida, Tennessee and Clemson) were idle, but the Aggies cooperated and get a weekend pass at 2-4 (.333).
Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets:       Last Week:  2-2   Season: 23-20 (.535)

Kansas State @ IOWA STATE “under 51”, UTSA -3 ½ over North Texas, Unlv @ SAN JOSIE STATE “over 57 ½”, Kentucky +4 over MISSOURI, HAWAII -3 ½ over New Mexico, New Mexico @ HAWAII “over 66”,  

No comments: