Thursday, September 24, 2020

Vindy's Picks Week 4-2020


LAS VEGAS, Nevada (TMZ)...The team formerly-known-as the Oakland Raiders made its debut this past Monday at the newly-constructed Allegiant Stadium against the New Orleans Saints. With the blessing of other organization big-wigs, the venue was recently nicknamed the “Death Star” by team-owner Mark Davis. Head Coach Jon Gruden was quoted as saying, in his best Clark Gable voice, “Frankly, Boba Fett...I don’t give a damn about Star Wars”. Davis eventually confronted Gruden, referring to him as Obi Jon Kenobi, in his best Darth Vader-voice, telling the coach, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” (though he was unable to make Gruden submit to the unseen throat-choking-grip). Viewers, during the Monday Night Football match, saw replicas of Stormtroopers, Ton-Tons and droids in the stands. In fact, eagle-eyed fans caught a glimpse of a Yoda-likeness barely peering just-above the stadium-seat in front of it! Sadly, we did a little choking of our own, managing just a sub-par 2-3 outing last week (6-2, .750). We’re lettin’ da’ clock run down to the two-mask warning ahead of...


(“These aren’t the spreads yer lookin’ for.”)

SAT. SEP. 26

Kansas State (+26 ½) over #3 OKLAHOMA: In an earlier week of da’ Picks, we foresaw Clemson coming-out guns-blazing to erase the bad-taste of the national-title contest loss to LSU. That prediction didn’t pan-out. Likewise, Sooners suffered a similar-demise in the CFP vs. the Bayou Bengals. We’re reversing-course. Wildcats had the dubious-distinction of being one of a trio of B12 clubs that got their passes handed to ‘em by Fun Belt squads on September 12, dropping a 35-31 decision vs. Arkansas State. Okies weren’t tested in 48-0 blow-out of I-AA Mizzou State and line-up fer their real contest this Saturday...OK 37 KSU 21

Mississippi State @ #6 LSU (“over 54 ½”): Our initial-look at Burrow-less Bengals. Ed Orgeron made no friends amongst the LSU administration after blabbing that “most” of his team had contracted the ‘Rona. Not many first-stringers back from last season’s national championship squad, but Coach O, in his fourth year at the helm, has his guys on the field. We read an SEC preview somewhere online in which the writer labeled the Bulldogs campaign a “tire-fire”. Mike Leach takes over as HC for the Bulldogs, who’ve covered one of last seven getting points away from Starkville. Tygahs have only a trek to Vandy on-deck. In 2019, MSU permitted 56 @ Auburn, 49 at A&M, 38 @ ‘Bama and 38 vs. Louisville in the bowl-loss...LSU 41 Canines 20

#9 Texas @ TEXAS TECH (“under 69”): Under now-4th-year HC Tom Herman, Steers have made steady progress in ppg on O. Unfortunately, the scoring-D has gone bizarro-world opposite direction, but should be solid in 2020, as represented by 59-3 triumph vs. UTEP to begin the season. Guns Up tallied only four wins last year, but like UT, is expected to be better on the stop-side. Mere 35-33 victory over I-AA Houston Baptist (on the failure of HBU’s late missed two-point conversion) does not give us the warm-and-fuzzy, but we’re not comfortable layin’ da’ juice with the Cattle...Hook ‘Em 35 Red Raiders 24

#22 Army (+11 ½) over #14 CINCINNATI: POSSIBLE UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Keydets already have two decisive victories notched (though both at home and neither against anyone special [Middle Tennessee and Weeziana-Cornrow]), but the I-A live-fire contests would seem to give to them the advantage over Bearkats’ squad, who was not challenged in lone game vs. FCS Austin Peay (55-20). Army is 2-0 SU/ATS, with two “unders” (both posted-totals in mid-fifties). Long Grey Line is poised for nice return after putting just five wins in the straight-up column in 2019. Cincy, who’s won 22 of last 27 on the scoreboard, but gone just-okay 15-10-2 ATS last two campaigns, needs more discipline after being a season-long flag-fest last year. Two of Bearkats’ three outright defeats coming-in came vs. Memphis. Having played Navy in the Arkham Asylum Conference, Cincinnati has seen Navy’s version of the option, but...UC 28 Platoon 27

#20 VIRGINIA TECH (-3 ½) over NC State: Tech takes the field fer da’ first-time in earnest after previous match went away under public heath-conditions that pushed-out the original 9/12 match-up. Pack was fortunate to dodge defeat at hands of majorly-inexperienced Demon Deacons offense that bashed da’ scoreboard fer 42 in 45-42 win. Hokies have been lousy home-chalk, showing 3-8 in that role the past two-outings, but bring back 18 returning-starters while State shows just 5 back on defense from 2019 squad...VT 34 NC State 17


BTW, a late change-of-plans saw local Las Vegas musical group The Killers replaced by the Mos Eisley Cantina Band as the halftime-show! Following-up on last week’s lead story...we made a killing selling our decades-old collection of Chuck-E-Cheese tokens! Excitement and anticipation quickly turned into panic as Vin damaged the ceiling of the currently-shuttered locals' Eldorado casino, that includes a small-sportsbook, after use of helium balloons went awry during a virtual Vindy’s Picks- Reveal Party! The control-nozzle on a helium machine used to fill balloons announcing the selections inexplicably broke-off, saturating the venue with gas and over-inflating balloons to the point of bursting, sending our flustered-forecaster and his camera-crew rushing to exits while sounding like a Munchkin-scene from “Wizard of Oz”! Thankfully, no injuries were reported. Film at Eleven!

Wake Forest’s host-match this weekend vs. da' Frightenin’ Irish has been postponed due to an outbreak the shadow of Touchdown Jesus. Vindy’s spies report the confessionals in South Bend are now being occupied by appropriately-clothed mannequins behind the screens, while students fess-up to their errant- ways, saying things like...”Forgive me, Father...for I have sinned...I wore my face-covering below my nose at Saturday’s game.”

Given the usual-plethora of COVID-19 assessment questions, are athletes, before being admitted to practice-facilities or the actual field-of-play, being asked “Have you been outside the United States in the past 14 plays”???!!!

Pardon our previous-ignorance, but when we saw one of the Cleveland MLB team’s nicknames back in the day as Naps, we pictured a club that instead of the 7th-inning stretch, busted-out towels/blankets on the diamond to catch forty-winks! Based on the fact that the nickname originated from a top-player whose name was “Napoleon”, we can also surmise its hurlers always kept one hand inside their uniform while deliverin’ a pitch!

Back in February, Knights owner Bill Foley declared the Henderson-based minor league squad could potentially be called “Silver Knights”. He did not, however, rule-out “Tin” or “Aluminum” Knights! The latter, of course, woulda’ facilitated a sponsorship by Reynolds Wrap!

Wish We Had It Back: Yep, we called it! LOUISVILLE –2 ½ over Miami, as the Redbirds lost outright 47-34!

Black Shirt: This week’s Terrific Tee goes to Navy kicker Daniel Davies fer 33-yard-FG with about two-minutes left to give the Middies (+8) the serious-comeback win at Tulane, validating one of two correct “best bet” choices!!

Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 6-2 (.750) Kansas @ BAYLOR “over 59 ½”, Tulane –3 over SUDDEN MISSED, Duke @ VIRGINIA “under 45 ½” (Yeah, we know. Generally, we offer four wagers here, but we just didn’t find anything else we were at least semi-confident in.)

Next Week...our musings on...the 2020 NFL Draft! (Yer gonna’ like that one!)

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