FAUX-TD CELEBRATION LANDS PLAYER ON IR
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin (UPI)…Packers-leading scorer, with five touchdowns, TE Robert Tonyan, is expected to be out three-to-four weeks after incapacitating himself with a dislocated-shoulder and sprained-wrist, testing-out a series of blocks-and-pulleys, engineered by local staffers to simulate “fans”-responses to da’ scoring-player conducting the traditional Lambeau Leap, including the catch and subsequent-patting of said-athletes helmet and back. The injury occurred during a bye-week practice ahead of this Sunday’s game at Tampa Bay when Tonyan jumped into a row of cardboard “fans”, sporting the usual 2-D colors and “cheese-heads”, and a fake-concessionaire “selling” hotdogs and beverages (responding to a piped-in call of “Hey...Beer...Man!”), but providing no cushion whatsoever, sending the tight-end tumbling hard onto the concrete steps between the rows. In the wake of our second 2-3 result (12-11, .521) in five outings, Vindy’s nursin’ his own case of hemorrhoids and hang-nails, but elects to “just rub some dirt on it and get back out there” with...
THE WEBER KID’S 2020 WEEK 7 FORECAST
(Like Wendy's..."fresh, never frozen-tundra!")
FRI. OCT. 16
#17 Southern Methodist (-6 ½) over TULANE: “Pony Express” is undefeated at 4-0 (2-1 ATS) having beaten then-ranked Memphis last week, avenging three straight losses to the Tigers. Green Wave (2-2 SU, covering just once) dropped a high-scoring affair at Houston on Thursday. SMU’s 31-24 victory over Texas State gives us pause, but that was the season-opener way back on 9/5 and Sonny Dykes is now in his third-year as head coach. Mustangs have won last three in the series, but by just 4 the last time they played in N’awlins. Tulane has covered last five in the home-dog role, winning three of ‘em outright...Equines 37 Wave-Pool 24
SAT. OCT. 17
#3 Georgia (+5 ½) over #2 ALABAMA: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Tide is layin’ this many on reputation alone. ‘Bama won 26-23 in 2017 and 35-28 in 2018, covering neither. Dawgs’ are ceding 12.3 ppg thus far, while Elephants got themselves drawn into a shoot-out in Oxford. Joja’ continues to rely on a stingy-defense with just 3 back on offense. Alabama is giving-up north of 30 points per match. Not a good-harbinger, even facing a depleted Georgia offense. ‘Bama’s defense has slowly (very-slowly)-regressed the past two seasons to finish at 18/ppg-allowed last year, but in 2020, has yielded 18, 24 and 48! Only 37 points total have been scored on UGA to-date. If ESPN’s onsite-coverage of its preferred weekly-contest meets a classic sci-fi flick...would it be The College Game Day the Earth Stood Still?! If that programming took place in Tuscaloosa, would we hear one of the broadcasters say...“Klaatu...Verata ... Nick Saban”. Breaking news...Saban has tested positive for COVID. Wouldn’t be shocked if this one got scrapped prior to Saturday’s kick-off...Pound Puppies 30 Crimson 23
Louisville @ #4 NOTRE DAME (“under 64”): Two of the Redbirds’ tilts ended-up below this total, while the other pair skyed-above it. Da’ Ville last played on Friday, so it got an extra day to prep coming-in. Irish last took the field Saturday, but didn’t hit paydirt after nearly 1 ½ quarters to go in non-cover vs. the ‘Noles. Leprechauns feature dual-threat QB Ian Cook and have adjusted nicely on defense, allowing just 13 points-per-game in spite of seriously-inexperienced returning folks on that side of the ball. A 1-3 ATS tally for Our Lady does not compel us to fork-over more than two touchdowns, so we’ll lean toward a call on the total...Notre Dame 35 Louisville 14
#13 MIAMI (-10 ½) over Pittsburgh: This was the substitute for our original call of Oklahoma State @ BAYLOR “under 54 ½", which got postponed due to issues with...well...you know. Okay, ‘Canes were manhandled by Clemson (who hasn’t been?!) in only bad game of the campaign. Panthers (3-2 SU, but 0-3-1 ATS) hit the ACC tarmac for second-consecutive week in aftermath of back-to-back single-point demises to NC State and at Boston College (see below). We still believe in Da’ Pelicans’, what’s the phrase?!... “return to (almost) prominence” ... Miami 41 Pitt 27
Boston College (+12) over #23 VIRGINIA TECH: True...Eagles went to an extra-frame to pull-out the win at the friendly-digs vs. Pitt, but that was a week after playing currently-#5 North Carolina tough in 26-22 loss. Hokies fell by 11 to those same Tarheels last week in a match that saw little defense from either side. Staying with the common-opponent line-of-thinking, Tech won by 7 at Duke, while the Catholics walked off the field at Raleigh up nearly three-touchdowns on the scoreboard. VT has been poor bet as home-chalk the past two-plus seasons at 4-9. No way we pass up getting double-digits here...Tech 29 BC 24
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Following up on our Week 6 Lead Story...customers staying at Vindy’s Air BnB home get access to dial-up internet for our Wang computer at no additional charge. Guests exceeding the Mendoza-Line across their scheduled-occupancy in the backyard batting-cage get an extra free-night’s stay! The mini-bar includes Big League Chew bubble-gum, Yoo-Hoo and Tang, as well as Boone’s Farm-Team Strawberry Hill, Miller, Schlitz and Olde English 800 for the adults with aluminum-tins of Jiffy-Pop popcorn (just behind the expired boxes of Cracker-Jack) for the gas stove! Coffee options are limited to Sanka and Nescafe. KODAK Instamatic cameras are available for selfies, to be developed by the local Photo Hut in about a week. In-room movies such as The Sandlot, A League of Their Own and Bad News Bears are available on unrewound VHS tapes from Blockbuster! Patrons can chuck a few in from the Pitchers-of-Beer Mound to a cardboard-replica of Reds’ Hall-of-Fame catcher Johnny Bench! Vindicator will even provide turnover-down service upon-request!
BTW, the areas behind the end zones at Lambeau now include traffic cones, warning signs and yellow-caution tape!
In February 2020, the California State University System cancelled all fall sports, except football. That news was met with cheers in Cuba as the Cal State-Havana Fightin’ Castros took the practice-field!
Anybody else out there hopin’ the stadium-operator accidentally reverses artificial-crowd-noise responses so they cheer when your visiting-team does well and boo when the home-club is successful??!!
Notable trends among teams that have played at least four games against I-A opponents...Navy 4-0 “over”, Texas 4-0 “over” (1-3 ATS), Texas State 4-1 “under”, Weeziana-Cornrow 4-1 “under” and Western Kentucky 0-4 ATS (1-3 SU).
In June, FORD elected to not disclose its new Broncos on OJ Simpson’s birthday. We say...so what!? We already knew who Denver drafted back in April! But, in a retaliatory-move, Mile-High officials elected to not announce signings of rookies on the iconic car-maker's name-day!
If NHL players and spouses participate in a reality-TV show about their relationships, is it... ”Marriage Bootcamp: Hip-Check Edition”?!
We learned in late June that Shaquille O’Neal is an investor, a board-member and a brand-ambassador for Papa Johns. Said-company that month, released its Shaq-A-Roni pizza, featuring its largest slices ever and 66 pieces of pepperoni! Our response...”Better In-Bounds Plays...Better Pizza...Papa Johns”!
If The Karate Kid meets golf, will we hear the antagonist-caddie direct his duffer to...”Sweep da’ dog-leg.”???!!!
For inquiring-mimes that wanna’ know...Vindy’s getting' “da’ Rodgers-rate" on his insurance...and doesn’t even have “State Farm”!
Black Shirt: The exquisite ebony-undergarment this week goes to Sooners DB Pat Fields for drawing the late pass-interference flag that moved Texas to the OU 2-yard line. UT scored the tying TD on the subsequent play, sending the contest into the first of four (count ‘em, four) extra-frames, finishing the game at well-above our prediction of “over 72 ½”!
Shoppe Talk: The Short-Horns of Texas (1-2, .333) get a weekend-pass, but the Clemson Tigers, Miami Tropical-Depressions and sAggies of Texas A&M make their reservations at the socially-distanced and heavily-sanitized Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe, all at 0-2 (.000)!
Vindy’s Week 7 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: 14-4 (.778)
Navy –2 over EAST CAROLINA, NC STATE –4 ½ over Duke, Texas State @ SOUTH ALABAMA “under 57 ½”, Mississippi @ ARKANSAS “under 77”
Next week...even more thoughts on our Week 6 Lead Story!