UNHERALDED CREATIVE SCHOOL TAKES DOWN LOCAL HARDWOOD TEAM
DAVIS, California (UPI)… Despite a look-ahead spot to the forthcoming clash with Ceramic State, the Division II PACWEST Conference Academy of Art Urban Knights, unranked and receiving no votes in the rankings thru 11/28, based in San Francisco, belted the UC-Davis Aggies basketball team here, 79-60, for their first-ever triumph over a I-A foe. Legendary acrylics-ace Bob Ross, attributed the historic-win to leading his players through their daily paces, which include practicing high-ball silk-screens, banking shots off the blown-glass and creating a trio of firs, redwoods, sequoias, oaks, etc. on canvas, via the medium of their choice, from beyond-the-arc, a drill Coach Ross likes to call “Happy Threes”! Having no athletic-scholarship players, the Urban Knights sixth-man, when not logging actual minutes on the court, creates gallery-worthy masterpieces on a pottery-wheel while on the bench.
We rescued a finally-in-the-black 3-2 (and a total of six points “over” from 3-0-2) last week (28-34-1, .452 on the season).
NASA predicted a comet would race within astronomical grenade-range of Earth on this previous Monday-night. Scientists with high-powered telescopes detected, etched-in-the-surface of said-celestial body, as it passed-by, a draft-version of...
THE WEBER KID’S 2021 CHAMPIONSHIP WEEK FORECAST
(Sponsored this week by GEICO...’ peek-a-boo with the defensive-linemen!)
FRI. DEC. 3
C-USA CHAMPIONSHIP (@ San Antonio, TX)
Western Kentucky @ UTSA (“under 72 ½”): Second-choice fer “lock”. Highway-Hens get home-field-ad fer this one despite list-less, meaning-less/no-show/etc. “appearance” at Denton in loss to North Texas, when the only importance was ’ da’ post-season play-list close to da’ vest and ’ a bunch of reserves (and that ...didn’t...end-up...well)! Nonetheless...Beep ! 34 Hilltoppers 28
SAT. DEC. 4
SEC CHAMPIONSHIP (@ Atlanta, GA)
#1 Georgia (-6 ½) over #4 Alabama: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Easy money! Didn’t watch the game, so not sure what ’ smoke-and-mirrors Big Al used last Saturday to pull–off the tardy-Houdini to beat War Eagles in bonus-time, but ’ ’ to cover a mere-touchdown behind the country’s top-D (8.25 ppg vs. SEC, 6.92 ppg overall and 6.17 ppg away-from-Athens) seems like a no-brainer. ’ a Gandalf quote from Lord of the Rings... ”... shall not...!”. UGA leaves no doubt who’s the best club in the nation. Unless a ‘Dawgs-fan, don’t bother ’ this. Tune-in to Nickelodeon, the Oprah Winfrey Network or the Hallmark Channel fer more-riveting-fare instead...UGA 38 Tide 7
B10 CHAMPIONSHIP (@ Indianapolis, IN)
#15 Iowa (+11) over #2 Michigan: We utter “well-played” to Jimmy H. and his team fer unexpectedly (and decidedly) ’ OSU, garnering its inaugural position in a Big Green-Tambourine Conference title match. However, (comma’), history pooh-poohs B2B covers in games of this magnitude for Harbaugh, especially considering giving DD vs. Iowa-squad that was playoff-worthy early. Not ’ the intestinal-fortitude to call the outright upset by the Aviary, but just can’t/won’t gift Big Blue-wagerers the satisfaction here...Wolverines 24 Hawkeyes 23
AAC CHAMPIONSHIP (@ Cincinnati, OH)
#16 Houston (+10 ½) over #3 CINCINNATI: We’ll spare Queen City-Nation the suspense and cry “No Joy” now. Bearkats finished the regular-season topping the East Carolina Pirates of the Caribbean by 22 at Greenville, yet were still on the philosophically-speaking wrong-end of “This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.” Central Florida went undefeated in 2017, but was dissed by the BCS. ’ the CFP Committee won’t have an appetite to break tradition and put a Group-of-Five club into the Final Four. Hashtag and numeral next to Houston won’t matter. ’ best-victory came in early-September over then 0-2 Navy team trying to find its sea-legs. In fact, as a common-foe, Middies went down 28-20 in Houston and 27-20 “in the Annapolis” versus Cincy. Big 12 champion will have been decided by kick-off here, but more-impactful -’Bama and Michigan-Iowa will go off simultaneously with this one, so UC motivation should still be in play. Not detecting of a disparity to pass-up double-digits and Houston has hung 11 straight in the -column following season-opening defeat vs. Texas Tech....WKRP 30 UH 27
B12 CHAMPIONSHIP (@ Arlington, TX)
#7 Oklahoma State vs. #9 Baylor (“over 46 ½”): At #5 in the CFP rankings, ‘Pokes need to just take care of vs. Da’ Bears, then hope for someone in the four-spots-higher falls. While there’s speculation Tide could stay in the play-offs with close-loss vs. ’, we don’t think so. In fact, IOHO, State gets in over undefeated Cincinnati, especially if the ‘ rack-up a few extra-credit points in this one. Rematch of early-October 24-14 State win in Stillwater. On the surface, this appears to be a match-up of two of the best scoring-defenses in the country. A closer look, however, reveals more-liberal tallies when each plays a Top-25 opponent. In four contests vs. ranked foes, Cowboys have finished at an average total of 53.75 ppg, while Bears’ four tilts vs. ranked-enemies have resulted in average total of 50.25 ppg. Throw-out the common 24-14 match we noted earlier and those averages get even higher. On offense, Cowboys post 31.8 ppg, while the belt the boards for 33.4 ppg. For those of ’ preferring a play on the spread, OKSU (-5 ½) has reeled-off ten straight covers. Bares have gone 5-3 in the past 8 (7-4 State 34 Waco 27
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, there’s no truth to the rumor that the school is courting John Travolta to star in a mash-up flick called “Saturday Urban Cowboy Knights Fever”! Elsewhere...Stay-tuned as SUNY-Gleason hosts the Institute of Art Carney and rivals Art Linkletter U. and Rembrandt A&M square-off this week on a neutral-site at Da’ Vinci Stadium in Leonardo, New Jersey! Grad-School film at eleven!
Last month, a roadrunner made a cross-country trek (sing it with us...”and eleven long-haired friends-of-Jesus in a chartreuse micro-bus") from Sin City to Maine and back. Why said-UTSA-player was in Vegas to begin-with is still a mystery!
So, Irish HC Brian Kelly is leaving South Bend for Baton Rouge, ’ us to wonder if the LSU will be ultimately-known as the “Erin-Go-Bragh Bengals”???!!!
Earlier this fortnight, FedEx Bulldogs’ game-plan packages, route to the ATL, were discovered in the ‘Bama woods. Nick Saban was unavailable fer comment on that one.
With Christmas carols now fully-approved-fare (we say fully-approved ‘, let’s face it, we been ’ that stuff intermittently since...well...er...um...Labor Day!). So now we invite the readership to loosen-up da’ vocal-chords and join us in ’-out a ’-version of- got run-over by a -deer...’ home from The Big House Christmas Eve. You can say no such thing as ‘Bam-a. as fer me and Tampa, we !” (Yes...we sound better ’ in da’ shower!)
The Detroit Lions are now 0-10-1 straight-up on the season and on an 0-15 winless regression overall. As a result, the Ford Felines will grab some pine Sunday as the Titans of Detroit Mercy, known mainly for dentistry and D-I hoops, will take the field against the Vikes!
If a member of an inmate football-team runs free to the correctional-officer under-center, is it “un-incarcerated to da’ quarterback”??!!
In da’ midst of experiencing network-difficulties, we contacted customer-assistance for help. They requested a screen-shot. We thought they said screened-shot, so we asked a neighbor to hold a hockey-stick and stand in-front of the computer while we slapped a puck at the monitor. The folks at tech-support were not amused.
BEST WEEKLY EFFORT: Week One’s 4-1 (.800) right ’ da’ gate.
WORST WEAKLY EFFORT: Tie between Week Five and Week Twelve at 1-4 (.250) each!
WEBER-FRIENDLIES (best-percentage on the predicted side of da’ spread/total): Our 2021 Allstate: “Yer in Good-Hands-to-Da'-Face Award” is granted to da’ ’ Bulldogs, who didn’t let us down in three chances (3-0, 1.000)
FLAME-THROWERS (worst-percentage on the predicted side of da’ spread/total): This season’s Grill-Master Supreme Award gets split between da’ Baylor Bears and da’ Fresno State Bulldogs, each at 0-3 (.000). ’ Place goes to the Michigan Wolverines at 1-3 (.250).
Black Shirt: Week 13’s Terrific-Tee goes to Oklahoma State edge-rusher Collin Oliver, who registered a late-game 4th-Down QB-sack to seal the Cowboys’ win-and-grab-da-Bedlam-cover vs. the Norman Schoolers!
Shoppe Talk: Stuffed Michigan Wolverines now clutter Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe (1-3 [.250], 0-3 [.000] tumble, as noted earlier).
“Locked In a Box”: Vin quotes former tennis-champion John McEnroe and recent commercial-cameo celeb... “You can’t be serious!” as BYU had to rally over USC to send the paper-thin-total “over” 65 with a 35-31 victory, plummeting the lock-record to 7-6 (and ongoing 2-6 back-pedal)!
Vindy’s Championship Week Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 25-27-1 (.480)
#10 Oregon vs. #14 Utah “over 58 ½”, #19 SAN DIEGO STATE (-6) over Utah State, #17 Pittsburgh vs. #18 Wake Forest “over 71 ½”, Sudden Cal @ CALIFORNIA “under 57 ½”
Up next...our thoughts on Army-Navy!