Friday, November 29, 2019
STARS ADD FAMILIAR SOUND TO VIRTUAL AIDES
SEATTLE, Washington (TMZ)…Just in time for Black Friday, the high-tech voice-recognition assistant ALEXA, created approximately five-years ago by local-giant Amazon, equipped with a normal-tone woman’s utterances, can now respond to spoken-prompts and achieve certain house-hold-tasks while impersonating a number of celebrities. For instance, a consumer could query an ESPN-stalwart Chris Berman-programmed device “Alexa...this store-bought item doesn’t work” and have a commensurate-response of “Take it back, back, back, back...you...could... go...all...the...wayyyyy!” Or even...Dolph Lundgren as Rocky IV’s “Ivan Drago”...”ALEXA...my pet-goldfish looks ill. Help!” Drago: “If he dies...he dies.” Ultimately, those who “Pity the Fool” that don’t have ALEXA could purchase one that answers a la Mr. T!
Upon further review, we have indisputable video-evidence of the same officiating-crew that moved the yard-markers farther upfield as the Dallas Cowboys started their sequence-of-downs against New England last weekend changing the point-spread in a local Sin City ‘book up a full-point as the Fab Forecaster made his parlay-wager for Week 13, leading to another 3-2 (24-16, .600) result!
May the rest of your Thanksgiving weekend be profitable if you place bets on...
THE WEBER KID’S WEEK 14 FORECAST
(Being traditionally-pardoned by the POTUS as we speak)
FRI. NOV. 29
#18 Cincinnati (+11) over #17 MEMPHIS: We’re about to note a bunch of concepts that will make it sound like we’re tryin’ talk our self outta’ this pick, but stay with us. We’re concerned about fatigue following 20-17 win at South Florida followed by 15-13 victory vs. physical, defensive-minded Temple squad last week (getting a late XP-try by the Owls blocked and returned for the 2-points that created the final margin). Just third time getting points on the year for UC (bashed at Ohio State taking 16, won SU vs. Central Florida with 3 ½). First meeting since 2016 34-7 triumph by the Tigers. Cincy is 2-3 against line on the road and show 1-4 ATS slide (though all of those had Cincinnati favored by DD). Tigers dropped 2-point decision at Temple in mid-October, but trashed Houston and USF away, beat SMU by 6 three-weeks ago, are 8-1-1 ATS so far, 10-1 outright and based on Marc Lawrence’s stats; MU has now covered 9 of 10 facing AAC foes on weekdays. Tigers eased past SMU in 54-48 track-meet...here. Live dog!...Memphis 27 Cincinnati 23
#19 Iowa @ NEBRASKA (“under 44 ½”): Bottom fell outta’ this one after opening at 50! Hawkeyes have finished 7 of 11 contests below this total. Big Dread is 6-4 to the “under”, with one of the “overs” being the result of extra-frames at Colorado. Huskers’ games tallied less than this just twice...13-10 over Northwestern and 34-7 defeat by Minnesota. NU needs this one to appear in the post-season in Scott Frost’s second-year after starting 4-2 SU then garnering 5th-dubya last week crushing the Terps in Maryland. Mighty-low spread (Iowa –4) makes us twitch-nervously, but maybe isn’t too far off-da'-mark given Corncobs’ 31-28 loss last year at Iowa and defeats by 3 at aforementioned Boulder, 7 vs. Indy and 4 at Purdue. Nonetheless, “offense” is a four-letter-word in Iowa City and Cornmeal red-zone have been sub-par. Of 37 successful scores in fitty trips inside the opposing-20, 11 resulted in FGs (nearly 30%)...Iowa 24 Nebraska 13
SAT. NOV. 30
#10 MICHIGAN (+9) over #2 Ohio State: Not sure if Buckeyes’ topping of the Alma Mater was ‘cuz of OSU’s defense or the Nitwit Lions’ offense stayin’ on the gridiron as often as the Packers’ O vs. San Fran, the Raiders’ O in loss to the Jests or the Broncos’ O in demise at Buffalo! 2016 and 2017 iterations in this series were exciting. 2018’s version saw State (+4 ½) win 62-39! Badgers trounced UM 35-14. OSU took-out the Varmints 38-7. Relying-on State’s lethargy despite no-show by PSU’s QB Sean Clifford Da’ Big Red Dog & company vs. Wolverines’ relatively-easy win over Indiana to prevail cover-wise. Harbaugh absorbs fifth-consecutive “L” in this series, but...Ohio State 33 Big Blue 27
#4 Georgia @ GEORGIA TECH (“under 46 ½”): Bulldogs survived 19-13 scare from Texas A&M, which should translate to early snail’s-pace here. Wasps withstood late-challenge in beating Wolfpack 28-26 after O went dormant around five-minute-left mark of 3rd-Quarter. Traditionally, a run-heavy squad and finishing among the top 5 to top 10 in ground-yards, are well-off-the-mark at just above 157-rypg and only 12 rushing-TDs. Insects have no kinda’ passing-attack at 110 ypg and 13-10 passing-score-to-pick ratio. Dawg-Pound yields just 199 air-yards per-game and a “sure...try to run against us” 68 ypg. Joja’ will likely give a bunch of starters some time-off ahead of SEC title game vs. LSU and have three shutouts already in-pocket. ‘Jackets have been held score-less once and could post a pair of long-FG, but we’ll portend the O-fer...UGA 38 Wreckage 0
#22 OKLAHOMA STATE (+13) over #7 Oklahoma: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Sooners haven’t looked all-that-good since trademark covered-wagon went belly-up, goin’ 3-1 outright but winning by just 1, 3 and 4 in past trio. Cowpokes will be reminded early-and-often of last season’s 48-47 loss in Norman, falling on an unsuccessful two-point conversion. State was hammered by Baylor, but has gone 4-0 SU/4-0 ATS since then and would do the serious Happy-Dance after play-clock-blockin' in-state rivals from possible CFP-berth! OK was lucky to get-by Baylor in Waco in what shoulda’ been another straight-up loss and is probably an untimely-turnover-away from lookin’-in-from the-outside...Cowboys 37 Spooners 34
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW, we’ll have additional thoughts on the whole ALEXA-celebrity thing next week!
Quote of the Week: From one of the broadcasters callin’ the Penn State-Ohio State game while explaining the required parameters immediately following a yellow hankie for “illegal formation”...”His helmet needs to be within the butt of the center.”
Not long ago, we caught headline noting a tongue-in-cheek quip by Tom Brady that he hasn’t liked the Cowboys “since coming out of the womb”. The GOAT played at Michigan, so we’re wonderin’ what the folks at Oklahoma State did to draw his ire that early in life!
As we mark this year’s late-November festivities, we recognize the trending game called PutterBall, in which players try to putt a golf-ball into a hole at the end of a long, slender ”green”. While awaiting the oven to pre-heat, we spent some time playing Butterball...attempting to tap a Titleist into the said-brand-of-turkey’s cavity that’s usually reserved for stuffing!
On the hardwood, the UNLV Runnin’ Rebels have a “Top Stopper” belt that is presented to the team’s best defender. Vindy has an “Ever-Lasting Gob-Stopper" that goes to the member of his forecasting-team who can chew on the designated Willy Wonka-product the longest during the season!
If a deliberate four-ball count meets The Bangles, is it an intentional-walk like an Egyptian?
Black Shirt: This week’s coveted-cloth goes to PSU safety Lamont Wade for forcing a fumble at the Lions’ goal-line by Justin Fields and recovering a fumble on the Buckeyes’ subsequent possession!
Vindy’s Week 14 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 24-16 (.600)
Kent State +4 ½ over EASTERN MICHIGAN, Missouri @ Arkansas (@ Little Rock) “under 53 ½”, Rice –7 over UTEP, North Carolina –9 over NC STATE, Brigham Young @ SAN DIEGO STATE “under 40 ½”.