MISINTERPRETED ADMISSION LEADS TO ODD DISCOVERY
LONG ISLAND, New York (AP)…Garbled-communication with Frank Coppola, not-to-be-confused with famous film-mogul Francis Ford Coppola, a dying person-of-interest and New Jersey landfill-worker, in October of last year, led investigators on a mission to find the body of infamous Teamsters leader Jimmy Hoffa, rumored to be buried under an old New York Giants football stadium, instead produced location of the remains of James “Jimmy” Hofstra, descendant of William S. Hofstra, founder of the Hempstead school-in-question, beneath local Nassau Coliseum, former long-time-home of the NHL’s New York Islanders!
Week Twelve’s 1-4 (25-32-1, .438) obligates us to offer-up...full-disclosure...We crushed that the season is winding-down. We’re ’-’ creative-steam and, let’s face it, while the Picks might be somewhat-informative and hopefully, at least, entertaining, the accuracy has been firmly-entrenched in an overlap somewhere between da’ Twilight Zone and da’ Bermuda Triangle since Week 3. In fact, eagle-eyed viewers among the loyal-readership will recognize our abandonment of the usual-format, allowing analysis of any given-team in consecutive-fortnights, as well as multiple games for any single-conference. Nonetheless, we “soldier-on” behind...
THE WEBER KID’S 2021 WEEK 13 FORECAST
(Unable to get out from under da’ blue medical-tent!)
FRI. NOV. 26
#17 Iowa @ NEBRASKA (-O/U 41): No official-prediction fer da’ record here, but Corn-Cobs might just-as-well Emma Frost, of X-Men villainy-fame (non-fellow-Marvel Comics-geeks, GOOGLE that!), on the sideline as “Beam us up, Scotty” Frost, “’” da’ Huskers this season! Chitlins of Da’ Corn will be without 1st-string-quarterback Martinez. Bettor beware! Just ’!
SAN DIEGO STATE (+3) over Boise State: MINOR UPSET PICK DA’ WEEK. Best guess fer “wish we had it back”. More times than not, we’d confidently-defer to the “under 44”. Boise white-washed New Mexico, but hey, who doesn’t?! (Okay, Lobos didn’t light a scoreboard-bulb fer just second-time this year, but get the point!) If a killer-doll movie-series meets the Aztecs head-coach, do we hear! My name’s Brady! And I’ll be friend-to-da'-end! Heidi-Hoke!”???!!! BTW, said-coach led his Ann Arbor charges to the most-recent UM triumph over Script-Ohio in 2011! (See our comments on Ohio State-MICHIGAN below). “And now back to our regularly-scheduled programming...” Broncos show one-point September loss at this week’s-#7 Oklahoma State and blow-out victory over then ranked-Fresno State, while in addition, losing by 10 at Reno and 7 versus Air Force. BSU saddled now-#13 BYU with one of its only of losses and has been betting-gold taking juice on the road (8-0 run). In a significant game for the Mouthy Wretch Conference standings, we say... SUDZU 30 “What’s Tater-Tots, Precious... what’s ...Tater-Tots"??!!! 24
SAT. NOV. 27
#2 Ohio State @ #6 MICHIGAN (“under 64”): Victor snares a berth in the Big Tambourine championship melee and a chance at the CFP Fantastic Four (Fer those who know the reference...no, not the comic-book group-of-fame!) We’ve previously mentioned Jim Harbaugh’s ineptitude trying to coach his teams successfully through the entire 60-minutes of important matches. No reason to believe that changes here. Jimmy H. has not topped Ohio State in five-tries and Buckeyes have finished atop the scoreboard in 15 of last 16 in this series. State trashed ranked- last week, while Big Blew smoked Maryland. finished underneath this total five times to-date, Michigan eight times thus far in ‘21. Best shot for UM to cover, much-less-win, is to keep the scoring reasonably-down. Wolverines yield 7th-best 16.3 ppg, State comes-in at #16 with 19 ppg. Contests in ‘18 and ‘19 (clubs did not face off in ‘20) went well-over the total, but we like... Straight
’ Columbus 30 The Mitten 24
#3 Alabama @ AUBURN: Another “no-call” for official-results, but merely-’...if this was a college-basketball game and players kept ’ the ball off da’ hoop, would it be the “Iron-Bowl-Unkind"!!??
#7 OKLAHOMA STATE (-3 ½) over #10 Oklahoma: No question...Game of the Week! ’ logic, “above fitty-one" would be a reasonable-assumption here, despite defensive-betterments on both sidelines! Cowpokes, not historically-recognized fer their stop-squad, last week inconceivably, pitched its first defensive-goose-egg since 2012 (vs. I-AA Savannah State) over Texas Tech, who hadn’t been kept score-less since President Reagan implored Mikhail Gorbachev to “tear down-and-distance that wall!” in 1987. stand-in at #7 in the play-off rankings, three-notches higher than rival Spooners. Maybe neither intentionally-exposed much of their offensive-playbook in vanilla-wins versus Guns-Up and ISU, respectively. State’s been on the wrong-end of the final Bedlam-scoreboard since 2015. ‘Pokes started ‘21 ’ da’ number ’ fer payback once in previous 7 tries. Cowboys won and covered against Texas and TCU, so far, to buck that trend. We like those odds with OU in da’ batter’s box. ’-on Matt Damon to reprise his starring-role in.... "Stillwater" 36 Mocha-Homer 30 (in extra-frames?!)
#13 Brigham Young @ USC (“under 65”): LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Trojans jettisoned Hands-of-Clay Helton, so will operate at direction of new-guy Todd Orlando (& Dawn)?! (Again, Millennials in da’ readership can GOOGLE da’ refence to a certain 70’s pop-music duet)! Troy-Boys are inexperienced on defense (though now have nearly a full-season under their belts), but BYU prefers to excel at time-of-possession. are 7-3 “under”. SoCal’s outright-record is ugly. We’re not impressed by ’ SU-tally (best-win, IMHO, was 66-49 over Virginia, with 27-17 besting of the ASU Pitchforks in mid-September [both in Provo] a close-second). USC is enabling opponents at a 28th-worst-in-da'-nation 32.2 points-per-game. Maybe the defenders will play better for the team “under-new-management", but we foresee...Brigham Young 34 USC 20
#21 Wake Forest @ BOSTON COLLEGE (“under 64 ½”): are ’ a spread, rightfully-so, just plus-five. Again, the ultimate Atlantic Coast Conference ruler is a card-flip! We’re struggling to wrap our heads-or-tails around this group! BC is 6-4 outright, with half its wins against Colgate, UMass and 3-8 Temple. Before-Christ (yeah, send the hate-mail to someone who cares!) has culminated below the total in 7 of 10. Conversely, have skyed “over” this number 7 times to-date. Figuring unfriendly weather-conditions in the venue-in-question resulting in a lotta’ ground-game plays and few opportunities to hit the scoreboard, we take a few creative-liberties to yell... ”Run, Wake Forest, Possessed Pastors 27 Boston College 24
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, an anonymous onsite-official sarcastically quipped like Mr. Hofstra was sent to da’ sin-bin, but never emerged following expiration of da’ power-play!”
True-story, Vindy actually took-in a roller-hockey game at Nassau Coliseum in the very-early ‘70’s, courtesy of a family-friend who hailed from the Island!! Wow! Memories of simpler-times!
As promised, we follow-up on our Elton John-related comments from Week 12, crooningAnd, I think it’s ’ be a long, long timetil touchdown brings us ‘round again to find...I’m not da’ lineman they think I am at homefield...oh, no, no, no! I’m a Rocket-Man....Rocket-...’-out his floozie up here !
Marshall da’ ’ place...to raise kids...” (Somebody stop us!)
A few more musical-selections Vin keeps in his karaoke--arsenal Shivers” (Ed Sheeran) and “Don’t Leave It on Da’ Field Before Ya’ Love Me” ( ft. the Jonas Brothers)!
The University of Florida cut-ties with its head coach in the wake of an OT-loss vs. Mizzou, meaning UF “sent Mullen to da’ ’”???!!!
Crappy Game of Da’ Week...UMass @ NEW MEXICO STATE. Go! Run! Save ! solitary-outright-celebration followed two-TD margin in Amherst against , whose only SU-bingo came 21-15 vs. FCS Yale in East Hartford! BTW, Huskies’ tally shows double-digit demise vs. current-FCS Coaches Poll #24 Holy Cross [9-2]!) Fer those brave- to wager on this one, Miniscule- are ’ 6 (total over/under 58). Aggies’ sole-SU- was at the expense of lower-division SC State back in mid-September!
When audio-visual technicians edit NFL game-films, do they call a time-out to splice the kicker???!!!
If a retro James Bond-villain meets a play starting from just outside the End Zone, is it considered-and-Goldfinger-to-go"?!
Seeing a whole lotta’ stuff recently on TV, da’ Internet and in da’ news about a President Biden infrastructure-bill, we ask where does the Build-Back player line-up on the gridiron??!!
A new round of relief payments was sent out starting March 14th, the same day the Big Dance pairings were announced, garnering the day-in-question the label of Stimulus-Check Sunday! BTW, officials reviewing plays during the NCAA Tournament went under the hood at the thermometer-monitor!
“Locked in Box”: Orange’s double-digit undoing by NC State puts us at 7-5 (.583), and current 2-5 preferred-prediction tumble after opening 5-0 has us ’ like a classic game of “Operation”, afraid to touch anything, and avoiding a “!”! Frankly, we’re ’ “Lock-Blocked”!!!(And while we’re on the subject...if a team is prevented from seeing how much time’s left, is it... “Game-Clock-Blocked”???!!)
“Wish We Had It Back”: We’d like to revisit our call of Michigan State +19 ½ over OHIO STATE” ahead of ’ “Takin’ the ‘under 69’ would also be worthy.”
Vindy’s Week 13 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 (the lone bright-spot in our Week 12 effort) Season: 23-25-1 (.479)
Army +4 over LIBERTY, JOJA’ STATE –6 ½ over Troy, Navy @ TEMPLE “under 43 ½”, RUTGERS +1 ½ over Maryland