Thursday, November 26, 2020

Vindy's Picks Week 13-2020

                               “DANCE” OFFICIALS LOOK TO MIDDLE-EAST FOR 2021 

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana (ITAR-TASS)…Following successful negotiations with UFC president Dana White, the 2021 NCAA Tournament is reportedly going to be held on Fight Island, site of Ultimate Fighting Championship #254. The Abu Dhabi facility is expected to provide the “bubble”-logistics to host a field of 68 teams, players, coaches and miscellaneous required staff. The location affords squads submitting to a “rear-naked-choke", otherwise being blown-out or even close-but-no-chance to-win the game the opportunity to “tap-out”! The area is also expected to neutralize higher-seeds' edge over heavy-underdogs who would generally be at a disadvantage being placed in a region far from home. Games will also be played in three-minute rounds rather than the traditional twenty-minute halves. 


The past fortnight (no, not the infamous video-game of the same label) saw us “produce” another meh 2-3 (28-26, .518). Hopin’ to hone our own skills to “ground-beef-and-pound" da’ bookies this weekend with... 


(Barely "ripplin’ da’ twine!”) 

FRI. NOV. 27 

#2 Notre Dame (-4 ½) over #25 NORTH CAROLINA (“over 66”): A late barrage of cancellations led us to make the double-call here. Irish got their let-down game outta’ the way last week, winning and covering double-digits at BC, after takin’-out then top-ranked Clemson. Heels have pair of three-point defeats at sub-par Florida State and at Virginia. UNC’s nine-point track-meet triumph vs. Wake Forest a week ago doesn’t impress us. Carolina’s been forgiving on scoring defense, yielding almost 31 points-per-game, tempered only by miniscule six logged by Syracuse in season-opener. Leprechauns have been splendid on the stop-side, ceding 10.33 ppg, but gave up 71 the last two matches vs. Clemson and the aforementioned Golden Sea-Gulls of Chestnut Hill. ND will be without its starting center and a starting guard. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com indicates Carolina has covered just one of last eight as ‘dogs of fewer than three TDs facing a better-than-.750 foe and 0-fer-7 after posting more than 35 (59 vs. the Demon Deacons) against an opponent off consecutive outright/spread-wins ...Our Lady 42 UNC 30


#15 Iowa State @ #20 TEXAS (“over 57”): Not swayed by the “under” in last trey for Texas as for the most part, both squads have scored and been scored-upon squaring-off against any team with a heart-beat on offense. Steers are 5-2 “over”, including six (count ‘emsix!) overtime sessions across three contests. Dust Devils are 4-4 over/under but would be 5-3 over had Kansas State notched anything at all, a safety or better, in 45-0 loss last Saturday. Last five years in the series have seen low-scoring sloggers totaling 24, 33, 24, 34 and 44. UT has taken three of last four outings SU, covering all of ‘em. Cyclones have lit the lamps for fewer than 31 just twice in 2020...ISU 37 Cattle 34 

SAT. NOV. 28 

#11 Northwestern @ MICHIGAN STATE (“under 44”): Who knew the Wildcats, coming into 2020 off a dismal 3-9 2019 record (though bringin’ back 19 starters), would grab the #8 position in this year’s inaugural 2020 CFP rankings???!!!We’re expecting N-DUB to spend at least the first-quarter, if not longer, at a snail’s pace after droppin’ the Badgers and hittin’ the road this week. Following last season’s not-too-shabby 24 ppg-against, Evanston Egyptian-Short-Hairs are grudgingly granting foes about half of that at this point. State is 2-2 “under”, but put a grand tally of 7 points on the board over last two weeks. NW is 5-0 “under”, with just two beyond this number (neither significantly above). We got burned making a similar call on a very-similar total when Sparty started 2020 vs. Rutgers and last four years in this series have all ended well-over this number. Consider yerselves duly-advised! ...Harvard Midwest 21 MSU 10 

#23 UL-Lafayette @ LOUISIANA-MONROE (“under 54”): There’s been no “War” in Warhawks this season ...winless in eight tries, clearing 17 just twice, 3-5 ATS and 6-2 “under”. Birds are averaging 16 points-per-game, well-off last year’s 32 ppg and every team lining-up against them has posted no fewer than 31. Cajuns are just 3-5 against the line, ULM has covered 3 of last 5 tilts to-date and past two have gone to Lafayette 31-28 and 31-30 (which may be driving the number here), so we ain’t layin’ four touchdowns. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com has road-club garnering the spread-victory in last 10 mutual-contests...Cross Creole 33 Wornhawks 13



BTW, the tournament basketball courts will, of course, be shaped like an octagon. Additionally, fouls for elbows and knee-strikes will not be called! Flagrant-Ones (or Twos!) will be off-the-board altogether! 

In related news, lightning-rod mixed martial-artist Mike Perry failed to make-weight for his scheduled-UFC-bout this past Saturday, exceeding the limit by four pounds. Lucky fer him, he was still below the required tonnage to be part of our forecasting team and got to provide some thoughts into this week’s Vindy’s Picks! 

Errata: Upon further review, we gotta’ quit relyin’ on the cretins at LVRJ for CFB spreads since the Alma Mater (now 0-5 following three-TD loss to Iowa) was really a small ‘dog rather than small chalk at Iowa! While we’re on the topic, Penn State QB Will Levis (pronounced “leh-viss”) needs to change the annunciation of the last name to match the clothing-brand and accept his post-college career selling blue-jeans! 

As a number of states continue to certify votes in favor of Alabama, Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly still asserts he will not accept his team’s spot as the bridesmaid in the inaugural College Football Playoff rankings! 

This weekend on The Food Network, ‘Bama and Auburn face-off on The Iron Chef Bowl! 

If a Backstreet Boys hit meets a certain MWC football team from the Pacific Islands, do we hear...”Tell meHawai’i” ???!!!!! 

Notable Trends: Appalachian State 1-5-1 ATS/6-1 “under”, BYU 9-0 SU/7-1 ATS, Coastal Carolina 8-0 SU/6-1 ATS, Kansas 0-7 SU/1-6 ATS, 7-0 “over”; South Alabama 8-0 “over”, Tulane 7-3 ATS, 7-3 “over”. 

Last January, England’s royal matriarch assigned Prince William a new moniker as Prince Harry and Megan Markle departed...Lord High Commissioner to the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland. In related news, Da’ Queen Mum knighted the Vegas Vindicator as Lord High-Sparrow to da’ General Foods Avengers Assemble of Da’ Church’s Chicken of Scotch-Tape! As such, Vindy was subsequently-given province over the Westgate Superbook in Sin City!


Wish We Had It Back: Yep...almost talked ourselves outta callin’ “under 48”, as we typed it up last week, on Apple Pie State @ COASTAL CAROLINA after pointing out the pair has jointly recorded just 5 tilts beneath that number in a collective 14 appearances on the gridiron! 

Black Shirt: Despite an early-pick that led to a South Bama TD, da’ Joyous Jersey goes to Joja’ State QB for tossin’ two more Red Zone INTs in the first-half, helping keep the total “under 58 ½” as we foresaw. Kudos to teammate RB Destin Coates, who fumbled at the Jags 19. South Bama burned clock and ultimately punted to the Panthers’ 4-yard-line.


Shoppe Talk: The cafĂ© at Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe is servin’-up Cincinnati Chili this week as the Barekats (0-3, .000) failed to cover the predicted –5 ½ vs. Central Florida! UC joins the My Little Ponies of SMU, also at 0-3 (.000). 

Vindy’s Week 13 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2     Season: 27-11 (.710)


Central Michigan –7 over EASTERN MICHIGAN, Stanford @ CAL “under 54”, Umass @ LIBERTY “under 56 ½”, Kent State +9 over BUFFALO


Wishin’ ya’ll a Happy Turducken Day! Or fer da’ vegetarians in da’ audience ...Happy Tofurkey Day! Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to dive head-firstPete Rose-style, into some Thanksgiving sideline-dishes of masked-potatoes and run-stuffing!