Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Vindy's Picks Week 9-2010


LAS VEGAS, Nevada (UPI)....With mid-term elections on the horizon and recognizing economic difficulties, sportsbooks in Sin City are sponsoring a promotion based on a concept offered earlier this year by then-U.S. senatorial candidate Sue Lowden. The Nevada politician spoke to the virtues of a bartering system, in which local doctors once accepted chickens in exchange for medical services. Under “Clucks for Bucks”, bookies, for one weekend, allowed bettors to use the barnyard fowl as collateral to place wagers. As word spread, casinos began looking like free-range farms, and taking advantage of the publicity, companies such as KFC, Popeye’s and Chick-Fil-A had representatives onsite at many of the Strip properties. One anonymous bookmaker said, “I nearly had a coronary when a Perdue tractor-trailer pulled into the parking lot!”

The chalk made its presence known last week as the favorites covered 13 of the 19 ranked games, leaving Vindicator to go just 9-9 (66-75-2, .468) for Week Eight.

That robo-call received by citizens across the entire state of Nevada at 1:00 AM Monday morning was sponsored by members of the Tee Ball Party and Long Island Iced Tea Party in an effort to rally support for...

THE WEBER KID’S 2010 WEEK 9 FORECAST(As released this week by WikiPicks!)

#2 BOISE STATE over Louisiana Tech giving 35:
Following four straight losses to I-A teams, Bulldogs put together back-to-back victories over Utah State and Idaho, both at home, before taking this past weekend off. LT has been money-burning home dog at 7-20 ATS the last four-plus seasons. Weeziana lost just 45-35 at home last year, but 38-3 and 55-14 in its past two trips to the azure rug. Tech also lost in September 48-16 at Texas A&M, who would likely lose to Boise as well. Bulldogs have two transfer WR from BCS squads who have accounted for four of the team’s nine passing touchdowns, but are just 3rd and 7th, respectively, in reception yardage. Boise is just 3rd in the WAC in passing offense (301 ypg), while Tech comes in at 4th (244 ypg). The truly-significant difference lies in TD-to-INT ratio. Bulldogs have 9 scores and 11 picks, while the Taters show 18 and 1. No reason to believe Spuds won’t carry on in “take no prisoners” mode until at least next week at Hawaii or a month from now at Reno. Putting the ‘Dogs somewhere between Toledo and Wyoming, we’ll say...Tubers 54 Canines 11 (THIS ONE’S IN THE BOOKS AS A LOSS AS LA TECH PULLED OFF THE BACKDOOR COVER, SCORING A USELESS TD WITH UNDER A MINUTE LEFT)

#16 Florida State over NC STATE giving 3 ½:
Wolfpack was one of 2010's feel-good stories until dropping two of last three games straight-up and ATS, including an OT loss at East Carolina. NCSU could assure itself of no worse than a .500 regular season with the minor upset. ‘Noles haven’t started their annual swoon and are 3-1 ATS in ACC contests this year. We wanna’ believe in the home dog, but just can’t ...FSU 24 NCSU 17.

SAT. OCT. 30
#1 Oregon over #24 USC giving 7:
Line looks reasonable given that the Trojans made Stanford sweat and Troy has gone 2-2 SU/ATS in its past four games, winning two by an average of 36 points per game while dropping a pair by total of 3. The Mallards, however, trashed the Cardinal and have plenty of motivation with loss of BCS top spot to Auburn despite 60-13 humiliation of UCLA. Trojans are getting points at home for first time since 2001...Decoys 44 USC 33

#3 Auburn over MISSISSIPPI giving 7: This got a good hard look for lock. We’d consider this line a whole lotta’ love for the Rebels had Auburn’s special teams and vaunted defense not been allowing opponents to keep coming back like Lindsay Lohan to rehab lately! Ole Missus lost by 13 at ‘Bama, 14 at Arkansas (a game in which Mr. Masoli helped the offense ring up 512 yards of offense in a losing effort) and oddly, by 14 to Vandy. Mississippi’s best chance for an SU win the rest of the way is next week hosting the Ragin’ Cagemens of Louisiana...Tigers 29 Mississippi 13

#4 Texas Christian over UNLV giving 35: With Air Force’s touchdown in the first 15 minutes last week, Toads have been scored upon now just once in the last 12 ½ quarters. Rebels have covered both home dog opportunities on the year (but the bye week won and covered last Saturday!). Like Boise, TCU wants to put on a show to hang around the upper-tier of the BCS poll. The Rebels can earn a “badge” by logging in on their Foursquare accounts by cell phone should they actually hit paydirt vs. the Froggies...TCU 44 UNLV 0

#5 Michigan State over #18 IOWA taking 6 ½: Sparty’s on the road for third time in four weeks, but already has two outright wins and covers over a pair of other Top 25 foes. A win here very likely allows State, who rallied from 17 down at Northwestern, to finish the regular season undefeated. Hawkeyes’ home loss to Wisconsin was a team effort...dropped passes on offense, poor coverage and missed/blocked kicks on special teams and inability to stop the Badgers on very short-yardage 3rd and 4th Downs...Michigan State 24 Iowa 22

#6 Alabama: IDLE (next @ LSU)

#14 NEBRASKA over #7 Missouri giving 7 ½: Tigers got their first cover in 9 tries against ranked teams last week, using a big 4th Quarter to pull the upset over the Sooners. Huskers had their own dogfight vs. Oklahoma State. Big Red has covered six straight against the Top 25, but until knocking off then -#17 Cowboys, had been one of two BCS teams to have not won outright over a Top 19 squad since November of 2001 (Duke is now the lone club in that category and we thank Phil Steele for that tidbit!)...Nebraska 27 Mizzou 19

#8 Utah over AIR FORCE giving 7: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Okay, the average margin of victory in this series the last seasons has been five, but these are much different teams this year. Pilots were in the game for one quarter at TCU and were minus their starting fullback. Flyboys are undefeated in four opportunities at home on the year, but are on 0-5 ATS slide. Air Force beat Colorado State by 22. Utes rolled up 650 yards on offense and smacked the Rams by 53! Even if Utes look ahead to the Toads, this is a small enough line that it shouldn’t matter...Utah 27 USAF 12

#9 Wisconsin: IDLE (next @ Purdue)

MINNESOTA over #10 Ohio State taking 25 ½: Despite three TD passes and 299 passing yards from that other Weber kid, Gophers’ first game under new interim coach did not go well (12-point loss at Still-Not-Happy Valley), but Minny has covered both ranked games (vs. USC and at Wisky) and though the Gerbils’ only SU victim so far was Fun Belt club Middle Tennessee State, their average margin of defeat has been less than 10 ppg. Buckeyes vented last week, smoking Purdue 49-0 and didn’t covered either game away from ‘Da Shoe...Brutus 38 Hamsters 16

#11 OKLAHOMA over Colorado giving 24: Best guess for “wish I had it back”. We’d normally expect Oklahoma to blow-out floundering Bison after losing last week, but Sooners’ close wins over non-BCS squads and Cincinnati has us concerned. Buffs, who get this many points for just the third time in last four-plus seasons, lost starting QB Tyler Hansen in the second quarter last week and though he gave a valiant effort, Coach Hawkins’ son Cody couldn’t get it done vs. Texas Tech. CU got crushed at Cal and lost 26-0 at Mizzou...Oklahoma 35 Bison 9

#12 LSU: IDLE (next vs. Alabama)

#13 Stanford over WASHINGTON giving 7 ½: Jake Locker is nursing his ribs. Sled Dogs have somehow knocked off two of the four Top 25 clubs they’ve played (USC and Oregon State in 2OT), while getting blasted by Nebraska and Arizona, who took down UDUB last Saturday with a strong ground game and some decent throws from the second-string QB. Trees are recently 0-3 against the number. We expect that change to here...Stanford 31 Huskies 16

#15 Arizona over UCLA giving 8 ½: Nick Foles probably won’t be at quarterback for the Wildcats, but Matt Scott had little trouble dispatching Washington. UCLA, due to suspensions and injuries of its own, is in disarray and just 2-5 ATS on the year. AZ might look forward to Stanford, but we don’t think so...Arizona 23 UCLA 10

#17 SOUTH CAROLINA over Tennessee giving 17 ½: Another well-played first half went down the drain for Tennessee vs. ‘Bama. Citing youth, inexperience and confusion due to multiple changes in leadership, Vols coach Derek Dooley likened his team to the Germans at Normandy during the Second World War. Uh...yeah...that whole D-Day thing woulda’ worked out much better had the “home team” not been wearing bright orange and singing Rocky Top when the Allies hit the beaches!... Poultry 31 Tennessee 10

Vanderbilt over #19 ARKANSAS taking 20 ½: Commodores kept South Carolina off the board until 12 seconds remained in the first half. Hogs’ defense let Ole Miss hang around until shutting down the Rebels midway thru the 4th quarter. Admirals scored at least 21 in each of their first five games, but just 7 total in the last two...Razorbacks 34 Vandy 17

#20 Oklahoma State over KANSAS STATE giving 5: We’d first look to the “over” on this game. Cowboys score more than 48 ppg, K-State yielded 20 or more in 5 of its 7 games. Wildcats supported Vindy’s 4-1 “best bet” tally last week with a meaningless score in 5-point loss to Baylor, but 40's is not KSU’s usual MO. ‘Cats are 4-2 against the line, but fortunate to get two of those spread wins, and just 2 of last 8 as dogs in Manhattan...OKSU 44 KSU 34

#21 Virginia Tech: IDLE (next vs. Joja’ Tech 11/4)

#22 Miami over VIRGINIA giving 14 ½: Cavs have been unable to take advantage of a schedule that sees them playing their sixth home game in the past nine weeks, posting wins only over I-AA Richmond and VMI, and belting MAC bottom-feeder Eastern Michigan. Virginia is mired in 3-7-1 ATS skein back to 2009. Pelicans are 2-2 ATS on the road (missing at OSU and Duke), but Harris has thrown just one pick in the last two games...Miami 31 Virginia 10

Kentucky over #23 MISSISSIPPI STATE taking 6 ½: Bulldogs found themselves in unexpected field-goal fest vs. feisty UAB. KY got caught celebrating its break-thru upset win by surging Joja’. ‘Cats get the nod to bring the A-game again in another tight one...MSU 24 Kentucky 21

#25 Baylor over TEXAS taking 7 ½: In all honesty, we were expecting Hawaii in this spot of the rankings. Have to figure, Da’ Bears got da’ nod over da’ Bows based on Baylor’s 6-point road win over Colorado, who bombed UH by 18 at home. In May, the Texas State Board of Education re-penned curriculum standards for history classes. In fact, under the new guidelines, the last four BCS titles have actually been won by TCU, Rice, Baylor and...Texas 20 Bears 16

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKSBTW, the original name of the previously-noted casino promotion was “Chicks for Picks”, but was quickly changed after several guys tried to swap their wives, girlfriends and mistresses for wagers!

Ex-FSU player Kamari Charlton was sentenced to be caned in Singapore for wearing out his welcome...actually, his visa. At least Miami fans can say a Seminole was beaten by a ‘Cane once this season!

As the Nitwit Lions prepare to host Big Blew this weekend, we note that a 300-year-old shipwreck was found at the bottom of Lake Michigan this past summer. Researchers thought it was the U.S.S. Wolverines....until finding JoePa’s high school letterman’s jacket onboard.

The Nevada Supreme Court last week upheld OJ Simpson’s armed robbery conviction. The judge appeared from the under the replay hood, turned on his mic and announced that “Upon further review, the call on the field stands!”

Matt Hasselbeck’s character made a cameo appearance on last week’s episode of South Park. Jokingly, the Seattle QB said he’d like to be on The Simpsons. “34...16....hut...hut...D’OH!” Meanwhile, back over on Comedy Central, we’d hear Cartman say, “Oh no! They killed the Seahawks!! Those bastards!!!”

Black Shirt: Goes this week to Michigan State running back Edwin Baker for a late 25-yard run for the covering score vs. Northwestern!

“Wish I Had That One Back”: Vindy wants a mulligan on his Texas -21 pick after starting the game analysis with “It’s still scary layin’ three scores with the ‘Horns”.

“Locked in a Box?”: The Gamehens made us wait for it, but eventually covered at Vandy, raising the record to 4-4 (.500).

Shoppe Talk: Anyone care to join Vindicator in some beef burritos as the Steers come in at 1-6 (.143)??!!. We’ve electrified the lily-pads for the TCU Horny Toads, now at 2-5 (1-5 skid, .286) and are makin’ room for West Virginia (1-4, .200).

Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-1 Season: 16-21 (.432)
Southern Methodist -8 over TULANE, Texas El-Paso +3 over MARSHALL, OHIO -14 ½ over Louisiana (Lafayette), Washington State +21 over ARIZONA STATE, Northwestern -3 over INDIANA

For those about to block (FIRE!!!!).....we saluuuuuuuuute you!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Vindy's Picks Week 9-2010 Early Edition


#2 BOISE STATE over Louisiana Tech giving 35:
Following four straight losses to I-A teams, Bulldogs put together back-to-back victories over Utah State and Idaho, both at home, before taking this past weekend off. LT has been money-burning home dog at 7-20 ATS the last four-plus seasons. Weeziana lost just 45-35 at home last year, but 38-3 and 55-14 in its past two trips to the azure rug. Tech also lost in September 48-16 at Texas A&M, who would likely lose to Boise as well. Bulldogs have two transfer WR from BCS squads who have accounted for four of the team’s nine passing touchdowns, but are just 3rd and 7th, respectively, in reception yardage. Boise is just 3rd in the WAC in passing offense (301 ypg), while Tech comes in at 4th (244 ypg). The truly-significant difference lies in TD-to-INT ratio. Bulldogs have 9 scores and 11 picks, while the Taters show 18 and 1. No reason to believe Spuds won’t carry on in “take no prisoners” mode until at least next week at Hawaii or a month from now at Reno. Putting the ‘Dogs somewhere between Toledo and Wyoming, we’ll say...Tubers 54 Canines 11

We'll back Wednesday night with the rest of the usual forecast en toto (and maybe with Dorothy too!). Stay tuned!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Vindy's Picks Week 8-2010


SEATTLE, Washington (ITAR-Tass)....
Even as Mexican sports reporter Ines Sainz gets back in the saddle after a 30-day hiatus following an embarrassing incident in the NY Jets’ locker room, the Vegas Vindicator mockingly sounds the alarm again. Moonlighting as a reporter for SSPN (Soviet Sports and Propaganda Network), the Sin City Soothsayer found himself inside a post-game locker room, toe-to-camel toe with sultry, semi-naked members of the Seattle Mist of the Lingerie Football League (Editor’s note: Considering how little the “athletes” wear to begin with, we ain’t sure if they were undressing or still in full battle-garb!) as the target of hoots, hollers and cat-calls. Said the renowned forecaster, “I felt so uncomfortable...NOT! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”. The outing brought an invite to do a centerfold photo-shoot for Playgirl magazine...reportedly being considered by the Weber Kid.

Your haggard host was fortunate to finish 10-10 (57-66-2, .463) for Week 6 given a second straight run by the dogs. The Puppies are 24-15 (based on spreads at the time we published the picks) the last two weeks. Indeed, nine of oracle’s losses were dog covers. We did, however, notch a Thursday night dubya behind West Virginia.

The Chilean miner who kept a wife and a girlfriend, after being rescued, made his first stop at the home of his mistress...because she had a copy of...

THE WEBER KID’S 2010 WEEK 8 FORECAST(Preferred picks of the “Cigar Guy”)

#1 OREGON over Ucla giving 22:
Both teams come into this one off a bye week and Oregon has dropped two of last three against the line, but both losses came on the PAC-10 road. UCLA, meanwhile, has lost two straight ATS, failing to cover in win over Wazzou and in getting whacked at Cal. Bruins have been unreliable away from the City of Angels (though they did blindside Texas in Austin). The margins have been closer than this number the last three years, with UCLA losing by 7 and 14, after winning 16-0 in 2007. All three of the Mallards’ home games have been victories by 21or more. UCLA lost to Stanford 35-0. Drakes beat the Trees by 21...Decoys 49 UCLA 24

SAT. OCT. 23

#2 Boise State: IDLE (next vs. Louisiana Tech 10/26)

#18 MISSOURI over #3 Oklahoma taking 3 1/2: Mizzou’s defense is good enough to stifle inconsistent Sooner offense. Neither team will likely run very effectively and the pass D edge goes to the Tigers, who’ve allowed four aerial scores while gathering in nine picks. Oklahoma’s ratio is 6 and 7, respectively. Missouri may also regain the services of its best pass-rusher this week...Tigers 24 Oklahoma 20

Air Force over #4 TCU taking 19 1/2: Flyboys tanked a pair of two-point conversions that would have at least allowed USAF a chance to win in OT over the Aztecs. Toads have gone just 1-3 against the number in their last four games. The common denominator among the three clubs that hung the spread losses on TCU was an ability to hold the potent Frogs to 14 or fewer in the first two periods (BYU allowed 17 first-half points, but just 3 until 90 seconds remained before the break). Ironically, the Pilots have allowed only I-AA Northwestern State to break 14 in the opening 30 minutes, compiling just a 2-4 spread record since then....TCU 24 USAF 10

#5 AUBURN over #6 Louisiana State giving 6: Auburn players wore T-shirts during practice this week with the words “Indisputable video evidence” emblazoned on them in honor of the replay officials who helped them beat Arkansas (though we’ll give some “credit” to the Razorbacks special teams as well) and now switch gears from breaking the abacus to “Holy crap! Somebody actually scored!” here. Gotta’ wonder how many Baton Rouge boo-birds will be in the stands this week after expressing their displeasure with Bengals’ O last week vs. McNeese State... Auburn 16 LSU 9

TENNESSEE over #7 Alabama taking 17: The Tide has had little difficulty in Knoxville, beating the line 11 times in 12 visits. Vols will be itchin’ for another crack at ‘Bama following last season’s 12-10 loss courtesy of two blocked kicks by Terrence “Mount” Cody in the 4th Quarter. Vols just 1-3-1 ATS this season. Tide is not invulnerable and if Vols can avoid repeat of second half vs. Oregon...Bama 27 Rocky Top 13

#8 Michigan State over NORTHWESTERN giving 5 ½: Wildcats are enjoying their first 5-1SU record since 2000, but bettors are suffering Northwestern’s usual spread woes with NU at 1-4 ATS to-date, and the best triumph was 30-13 over Rice. This is the first time in 2010 the ‘Cats are getting points. Until last week’s 6-3 halftime deficit to Illinois slowed the pace, Spartans had scored 30 or more in each of its games. We’ll take State to keep rolling ... MSU 34 NW 23

Colorado State over #9 UTAH taking 30 ½: Kudos to the Rams for providing the only ticket we cashed for Week 7 (and second winning ticket in as many weeks!). Both teams had special teams problems. State had two kicks blocked by UNLV, while the Utes permitted a blocked boot by Wyoming. Rams are on a 4-0 spread run and bowl eligibility is still a possibility if they sweep the last four games after this one (which would include an upset at San Diego State). Maybe CSU can pull same shenanigans they did in first half of TCU game. Maybe Utes will peek ahead to Air Force ...Utah 35 CSU 10

#13 IOWA over #10 Wisconsin giving 5 ½: Hawkeyes haven’t been chalk facing a Top 25 foe since the 2005 Outback Bowl. Line suggests an advantage to the Iowa rush defense vs. Badgers running game. Iowa’s kick-coverage teams will be wary after Wisky set the tone for upset of the Buckeyes with a 97-yard kick-off return to start the game. Iowa won 20-10 last season...Birds 20 Badgers 13

#11 OHIO STATE over Purdue giving 23: Purdue catches the Buckeyes at a bad time, but handed Northwestern its first loss of the year before sending Minnesota’s head coach packing with a victory over the Gophers. Boilermakers lost 16-3 at Da’ Shoe in 2008 and defeated then-#7 OSU last year 26-18. Buckeyes have covered eight straight in the payback mode (but those sounds you hear are the Purdue cheerleaders taunting Vindy with State’s ongoing forecast record...”Five and fifteen! Five and fifteen! Five and fifteen!...)... Buckeyes 37 Purdue 9

Washington State over #12 STANFORD taking 34 ½: Cougars still haven’t beaten a I-A opponent, but bettors who put their faith in Wazzou’s growth (or at least timing) haven’t been disappointed (WSU on 4-1 run against the line). Cardinal took a week off following squeaker over USC. Best guess for “wish I had it back”, but we’ll expect a flat Stanford team in the first half...Trees 29 Washington State 6

#14 Nebraska over #17 OKLAHOMA STATE giving 5 ½: This line either represents some misplaced respect for State, who found a lotta’ room to run and throw in win over Texas Tech or an over-reaction to Nebraska’s defeat by Texas. Maybe there’s an expectation the Cowboys can lure the Huskers into a shootout... Nebraska 38 OKSU 27

#15 ARIZONA over Washington giving 6: Wildcats’ starting QB Nick Foles was hurt early-on in game vs. Washington State and UDUB is an enigma to this forecaster. Huskies pulled the double-overtime win vs. Oregon State and beat AZ last year 36-33 on a very late interception return for a score. Statistical differences are negligible at best, except scoring defense. ‘Cats allow just over 13 ppg, tops in the conference. Dogs come in at 31 ppg, next to last in the PAC-10...Arizona 19 Washington 10

#16 Florida State: IDLE (next @NC State 10/28)

#19 South Carolina over VANDERBILT giving 12: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Expect a much better focus from the Fightin’ Fowl, who wasted an 18-point lead to lose last week. Vandy was on the wrong end of a 43-0 loss to Joja’ team that was re-asserting itself after a slow start. Last three in this match-up have been decided by 11 or fewer, but the Admirals lost 27-3 earlier to LSU...KFC 31 Vanderbilt 7

#20 WEST VIRGINIA over Syracuse giving 15: ‘Cuse has clobbered the lesser teams on the schedule, but been smoked by the better ones. ‘Eers coach Bill Stewart garnered “Black Shirt” consideration for signaling in the old hook-and-lateral for a touchdown late in the first half against South Florida that would be the decisive score in the Mounties’ Thursday night forecast victory for the Weber Kid. African security officers arrested 30 women wearing orange miniskirts at the World Cup on charges of ambush-advertising for a Dutch beer company. Turns out it was just the Syracuse cheerleaders on an international field trip!...WVU 28 Syracuse 9

Mississippi @ #21 ARKANSAS: OFF

#22 TEXAS over Iowa State giving 21: It’s still scary layin’ three scores with the ‘Horns, but Oklahoma, en route to a 52-nada victory, had ISU in an early hole so deep (all together now...”Howww...deeeep...was it???!!!), the Cyclones were breakin’ the huddle with Chilean miners! Steers are 2-1 ATS in conference so far, but didn’t lay 21 in any of those games and have won by this many only once this season (vs. Wyoming in September). Dust Devils are just 2-4 ATS, have been outscored 120-27 the last two weeks and haven’t covered in three tries vs. the Top 25... Longhorns 31 ISU 7

Duke over #23 VIRGINIA TECH taking 26 ½: Ever since deciding the season had actually started following loss to James Madison, Hokies have gone on 5-0 SU/ATS run, winning by an average of 22 points in that span. Blue Devils have been competitive in every game except blowout loss to Alabama. Under 3rd year head coach Cutliffe, Duke has lost to Tech by just 8 and 11 points the past two seasons...VT 41 Duke 19

#24 MISSISSIPPI STATE over Alabama-Birmingham giving 20: Assuming an uninspired first 30 minutes on heels of upset over Florida (which we called... thank you..thank you, very much!), the question is whether or not MSU can pull away in the second half. Don’t know how the Blazers took Tennessee to double-OT, but they looked bad vs. SMU and Central Florida...Bulldogs 24 UAB 0

North Carolina over #25 MIAMI taking 6 ½: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. The ‘Canes-Blue Devils match-up tallied five interceptions. Oddly, none of ‘em belonged to the Pelicans’ QB! Suspensions??!! So what???!!! Tarheels backers have cashed tickets in five of six opportunities. ACC history continues to plaque the ‘Canes, who are now 15-28 ATS in conference games and have been on the wrong side of the number 14 times in 21 tries under Coach Shannon. UNC has defeated Miami three straight years, getting points all three times. Last four opponents for Carolina haven’t gotten out of the teens...Carolina 17 Miami 14

Seattle Mist???? Isn’t that a brand of soda???!!! Sorry, folks...that ain’t sexy. How ‘bout the Telluride Teddies, Lincoln Lust or Manassas Fuzzy Manacles???!!! Now that’s sexy, Sports-fans!!!

As this year’s World Cup competition raged, the United Arab Emirates General Authority of Islamic Affairs and Endorsements issued a fatwa against vuvuzelas if they exceeded 100 decibels. In a related move, the Weber Kid has recently issued a no-strings fatwa against the Buckeyes and Red Raiders!

A post-election press release by Ole Missed noted percentages of votes received by each of the proposed new mascots for the school. The math added up to 160%. Is it any wonder the Rebels lead the conference in penalties for 12-men-on-the-field??!!!!

During summer training camp, Rebels’ freshman QB Caleb Herring was forced to lie on the ground holding up a big daisy for several minutes as teammates continued drills around him after the young player held the ball too long. Coach Hauck no doubt had himself a whole flower-bed full of players following back-to-back road defeats by a combined 92-20!!!

JoePa wants to solve the concussion problem by removing facemasks from helmets. Oh sure....head trauma injuries go down...but incidents of Three Stooges-like eye-poking in the trenches go off the charts! (Repeat after Vindy... ”Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-DOINK!”)

Thru a TV feature known as “Red Zone”, local area COX Cable viewers can now keep tabs on as many as eight concurrent NFL games and get full-screen coverage when any team reaches the opponent’s red zone. Likewise, Vindy is working with the cable company and the NCAA to allow full-screen coverage anytime your prestigious prognosticator gets within mere moments of securing a forecast win!

We’ve been bashing teams that wreak weekly havoc on the forecast in our Shoppe Talk segment, but for inquiring minds that wanna’ know, the following clubs are in the early running for “Weber-Friendly” post-season accolades: Boise State (5-0-1), South Carolina (4-0) and Utah (4-2, on 4-0 run).

Black Shirt: The coveted cloth is on its way to Gators’ punter and reserve kicker Chas Henry for missing a 42-yarder with 4 seconds left that locked in our Mississippi State upset pick.

“Locked in a Box?”: “Aim High” became San Diego State’s first Top 25 victim in 14 seasons to lower the lock tally to 3-4 (.428).

Shoppe Talk: Vindicator throws some burgers on the grill as the ‘Horns fall to 1-5 (.167) in six forecast appearances. And as inferred above, Ohio State falls to 2-4 (5-15 over 2 ½ seasons) and we continue to have “guns up” our various bodily orifices as Texas Tech goes to 0-2 on the year and 3-15-1 of late!!!!

Vindy’s Week 8 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 12-20 (.375)
Kansas State +6 ½ over BAYLOR, SAN JOSE STATE +20 over Fresno State, Indiana +13 ½ over ILLINOIS, Western Kentucky +6 ½ over LOUISIANA, Texas Tech -2 ½ (GASP!) over COLORADO

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Vindy's Picks Week 7-2010


Just two weeks after getting a 51-yard field the “island” during Survivor: Nicaragua, former head coach Jimmy Johnson is in discussion with executives at CBS to create a new system, based on the show, to determine a football championship at the pro or college level. Johnson wants tribes comprised entirely of current coaches from the NFL and NCAA, with the winner’s football team ultimately being awarded the Super Bowl trophy or National Title for that season. Members of the tribes would compete in such activities as “sending in plays” using just smoke signals and drums, “recruiting” or “drafting” the best available “team” from indigenous islanders and creating likenesses of the Heisman Trophy out of coconuts and reeds. Meanwhile, the BCS committee is trying to figure out how to factor in possession of the immunity idol into its weekly real-world calculation of rankings.

Finally shaking the sand and piranha out of his shorts, Vindicator stood at 10-5 following LSU’s upset of Florida, but simply split the remaining four night games this past Saturday to finish at 12-7 (47-56-2, 456). Having survived tribal council for another fortnight, Vindy wanders down to the beach and, hoping to beat the high-tide, uses a stick in the sand to scribble the words to...

(As claimed off his fantasy league waiver wire!)

#25 WEST VIRGINIA over South Florida giving 10 ½:
Mounties look like the class of a Big Least conference on a down year. Bulls were upset by Syracuse and won by a dozen over Western Kentucky in Tampa. USF has beaten West Virginia three of the last four seasons, covering all four lines. It’s a Thursday game and we know what that means for Vindicator, but the ‘Eers are among the top scoring defenses in the country...WVU 30 South Florida 13

SAT. OCT. 16
#1 Ohio State over #18 WISCONSIN giving 4: The only problem we see here is Pryor possibly playing thru the pain, as he did last week, against big, physical Wisky club. Buckeyes are scoring about 43 points per game, while the Badgers put up about 37, but the level of competition has been considerably better for State, while the Cheeseheads were busy drubbing the likes of UNLV and Austin Peay. UW is one of just two teams at 0-5 ATS (the other being New Mexico State). Wisky is a blocked XP against Arizona State from potentially not even being in the rankings ...OSU 28 Wisconsin 14

#2 Oregon: IDLE (next vs. UCLA 10/21)

#3 Boise State over SAN JOSE STATE giving 39 1/2: Boise’s last opponent, Toledo, would likely beat San Josie by at least two scores. Including Boise, all five of SJSU’s FBS foes have been ranked at the time. Spartans are 2-2 ATS, covering at aforementioned Wisconsin and last week against Reno squad off the rivalry game. To give ya a peak into Boise’s mind-set, Broncos went for two following its second touchdown in the 1st Quarter vs. the Rockets...’Taters 51 SJSU 6

#4 TCU over Brigham Young giving 29: Coogs had to keep possession for three full quarters (45:01) to slip by San Diego State. Line looks reasonable given a trio of losses by an average of 20 points to three teams currently in the Top 25, but the Kermits haven’t been scored upon in over 8 ½ quarters...TCU 42 Mormons 10

#5 NEBRASKA over Texas giving 9 ½: Lincoln will be a tough place for the Steers to get back on track after a bye week preceded by back-to-back defeats. Children of the Corn had three scoring plays of 68 yards or more to trash Kansas State and hang another Thursday night forecast loss on the Weber Kid. Colt McCoy had Nebraska’s number, but young Mr. Gilbert faces another big road game against Big Red team seeking payback for last season’s 13-12 loss in conference title match...Nebraska 31 Texas 20

#6 OKLAHOMA over Iowa State giving 24: Dust Devils aren’t likely to give up another 68 points like they did to Utah, but are 11th in the Big 12 in rush defense, giving up 201 yards per game. That could allow DeMarco Murray to have a productive day for the Sooners, who hopefully spent the off-week working on the mental aspects of the game that almost got them beat by Texas squad they dominated much of the game...Sooners 38 ISU 10

#12 Arkansas over #7 AUBURN taking 3 ½: Tigers hung on to beat Kentucky and help bring in a pair of winning tickets for our previously-odious oracle, but an early 17-point lead almost went for naught and Arkansas can bring that kind of offense as well. Hogs have taken two in a row from Aubie, winning by three scores in 2009 and by 3 points here in ‘08. We’ll take Ryan Mallett to give the Pork Rinds a trifecta...Arkansas 30 Auburn 27

#8 ALABAMA over Mississippi giving 21: Until ‘Bama’s 19-point win last season, the games in the previous four years had been decided by a total of 13 points. South Carolina held Tide RBs Ingram and Richardson to a combined 64 rushing yards. Can’t see Old Mist doin’ that. Rebels have consecutive SU/ATS victories over Fresno and Kentucky, but lost early on to I-AA Jacksonville State and Vandy. Vindicator has asked the bookies to grant him a bye week before each Alabama game. Did we stutter???!!!...Alabama 37 Mississippi 6

McNeese State @ #9 LSU: No line.

KENTUCKY over #10 South Carolina taking 5 1/2: In his preseason mag, Phil Steele liked South Carolina as a darkhorse national title contender. He just might be right. The Poultry equaled or outscored ‘Bama in all four quarters. Kentucky’s been on the verge of two big upsets the last two weeks. We don’t think they’ll pull it off here, but the Wildcats lost in Columbia by 2 last season, RB Cobb can run and catch and the Gamecocks are on 1-3 ATS skid laying points on the road...That Other USC 24 Kentucky 21

#11 Utah over WYOMING giving 20: In light of what Utah did to Iowa State after the ‘Clones converted a pair of 1st Quarter turnovers into 14 points, the Cowpokes would be well-advised to just take a knee three times and punt if the bouncing ball happens to land in their collective saddle. Wyoming, behind its second-string QB, could not dent the board vs. the Toads and the Utes could impose a second straight shutout here. Fourth ranked opponent for Wyoming in six games and Utah’s averaging 60 ppg over the past three weeks. Cowboys did lose just 20-14 earlier to Air Force...Utah 42 Wyoming 12

#13 MICHIGAN STATE over Illinois giving 7: We don’t anticipate the letdown for the Spartans, who routinely beat the Wolverines of late. Illini, who’ve been reliable road dog the past five seasons and 3-1 ATS so far this year, are playing with some passion recently, hangin’ with the Buckeyes until late before blasting the Nitwit Lions for their first win in Not-So-Happy Valley. Sparty’s making the most out of their venture into the rankings...MSU 35 Illini 24

#14 Stanford: IDLE (next vs. Washington State)

#15 Iowa over MICHIGAN giving 3: It’s Homecoming in Ann Arbor and Iowa lost by 7 at Arizona, the only quality team it has faced. UA was also the only team to score more than 7 vs. the Hawkeyes. Wolverines defense needs to make some plays. Iowa has won 24 of its last 31 games outright...Iowa 27 Michigan 16

Boston College over #16 FLORIDA STATE taking 21 1/2: Following the nonsense in Norman, the Injuns are on 4-0 SU/ATS run and doing it on the ground. Eagles have won the last two in this series, both as dogs. We paid the price for backing Reno off its rivalry game. We’ll give iffy BC a chance despite a winless spread record to-date... FSU 31 BC 13

WASHINGTON STATE over #17 Arizona taking 23 1/2: History shows an ever-increasing margin of victory by the ‘Cats over WSU in each of the last four seasons, including a 48-7 decision last year and we concede that three Ducks turnovers early contributed to Wazzou’s cover, but Oregon did not characteristically pull away in the second half. Cougars have actually been the right play in three of their last four games and are maybe sending a message that they’re not quite dead yet...or at least back from the dead...or...ummm...would rather be red than dead?... AZ 38 WSU 20

#19 Nevada-Reno over HAWAII giving 7: ‘Bows have the most explosive offense the Wolfpack has faced this year (nearly 500 yards/game) and have won the money four outta’ five games in 2010 (eight times in last eleven back to 2009). They did lose at Colorado by 18 earlier though. Reno went on a Sunday stroll vs. SJSU that we weren’t really expecting. Back to business this Saturday...UNR 41 Hawaii 31

TEXAS TECH over #20 Oklahoma State giving 3 ½: We anticipate plenty of points here despite a semi-low scoring game last year, won 24-17 by Tech. “Run” is a four-letter word for the Raiders and isn’t found near the front of State’s playbook either. Frankly, we’d be happy with an overtime push and should it come down to a late kick in “last team with da’ ball wins” scenario, the advantage goes to the Cowpokes (see our Black Shirt awardee below). Based on the tougher schedule, we’ll say...”Guns Up!”....Red Raiders 44 Oklahoma State 38

TEXAS A&M over #21 Missouri giving 3 ½: No real superstars playing for Mizzou. Tigers just doing it with good old-fashioned defense and special teams (two kick-blocks last week in shutout of the Buffaloes). A&M was sloppy in one-TD loss to Arkansas, but kept Hogs’ offense reasonably contained scoring-wise. Missouri has won 23 of 32 games over past two-plus seasons, but the Aggies need a win here to avoid third straight SU loss. They find a way...Texas A&M 24 Missouri 19

Mississippi State over #22 FLORIDA taking 7: Bulldogs might smell blood in the water here against reeling Gators. Florida pulled the classic “stole defeat from the jaws of victory” last week despite all of LSU’s efforts to give the game away. Brantley’s not 100% and back-up QB Trey Burton might as well be Tim Burton. UF might pull out a close one, but we’ll make the bold call...Mississippi State 24 Florida 23

#23 Air Force over SAN DIEGO STATE giving 1: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Aztecs are definitely improved this season, losing by just 3 at currently-ranked Missouri, but were held scoreless for the final 8 ½ minutes in loss to BYU. The Pilots are on 0-3 ATS skid, but all of those were in double-digit favorite roles. They only have to win here. After hearing some less-than-kind words about their run D vs. Colorado State, we expect the Flyboys to be fired up...Flight Platoon 27 SDSU 17

#24 Oregon State over WASHINGTON giving 1: We looked at this for lock too. Beavers committed their first turnover of the season last week, but pulled out the road win over Arizona. The loss of WR James Rodgers hurts and figures to cost State at least one touchdown per game, though brother ‘Quizz might carry more of the load on the ground. UDUB has been hammered the past three years by OSU, losing by at least three touchdowns in each of those. Jake Locker won’t be the great equalizer this time either...Beavers 31 Huskies 20

Just think of could see Les Miles and Mark Singletary driving blocking sleds through sand dunes , Joe Paterno and Bill Belichick sporting face- and body paint made from crushed berries or Wade Phillips racing Urban Meyer as they eat their way through a Fear-Factor-esque “training table” of bugs and fried lizards! We’d like to suggest a new motto for the reality show...”Out-Hit, Outplay, Out-Pass”.

During summer training camp, Cowboys rookie Dez Bryant refused to carry WR Roy Williams’ shoulder pads after practice. Bryant later said, “I would have took his shoulder pads, his pants...I would have took everything....” Apparently he “took everything” except English grammar during his days at Oklahoma State.

In May, Phillies bullpen coach Mike Billmeyer was accused by the Rockies of peeking through binoculars to steal signs at Coors Field. Billmeyer claimed he was just watchin’ his own catcher set-up defensively. In related news, the Large Synoptic Survey Telescope, will be constructed in northern Chile and equipped with the world’s largest digital camera. No truth to the rumor Billmeyer just happens to have plane tickets to the South American country for as long as his team remains in the hunt for the World Series!

Vindy’s Picks welcomes the start of hockey season by noting Lord Stanley’s Cup was on display at the Palms here in Vegas to promote the NHL Awards Show in June. The coveted hardware is said to have a capacity of 14 beers...or what fans of the Eagles and Raiders would simply call...the “two-minute drill!”. Snoop Dogg performed at that show....then later smoked the world’s largest bowl from Da’ Cup backstage!

Black Shirt: We’re sending the obsidian undergarment this week to Oklahoma State kicker Dan Bailey for a pair of 52-yard field goals that allowed the Cowpokes to beat the line by 3 and keep your host from entering Saturday down 0-2 after tanking yet-another Thursday nighter!

“Locked in a Box?”: We thank Colorado State for what was basically a backdoor-covering TD with 41 seconds left to bring home our lock and square the record at 3-3 (.500).

Shoppe Talk: The Buckeyes (2-4) and Gators (2-4) get temporary reprieves, but Vindy takes an axe to Stanford’s tree mascot after the Cardinal (2-3) posted its third forecast loss in four games.

Vindy’s Week 7 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-4 Season: 10-18 (.357)
NORTHERN ILLINOIS -14 ½ over Buffalo, COLORADO STATE -3 over Unlv, Southern Methodist +2 over NAVY, NC State -7 over EAST CAROLINA

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Vindy's Picks Week 6-2010


LAS VEGAS, Nevada (BBC)....It started as a joke after a tourist reported a beam of sunlight singed his hair and melted his plastic bags while staying at the local Vdara hotel and resort. Breaking with tradition, the UNLVfootball team stayed there Friday night and Saturday prior to the rivalry game with UNR later Saturday night. In a twist of fate, the sunlight swath dragged itself across the Rebels’ rooms, distorting players helmets and pads, even kicking tees and athletic protectors. With no time to replace the mutated equipment, the team pressed on. Investigations into the bizarre natural phenomenon revealed sleep-deprived and inebriated tourists, who reported seeing Gort from The Day the Earth Stood Still actually projecting the rays from his eyes into the block of rooms occupied by Rebels athletes. The ray, called a “solar convergence” by Sin City spin-doctors, was also suspected to be responsible for several pilots being temporarily blinded while landing aircraft at local McCarran Airport and warping the door mechanism on a port-a-potty on a landing overlooking the Hoover Dam during anniversary ceremonies, briefly trapping an unsuspecting tourist inside, some 30 miles away, just across the Arizona-Nevada border.

Unable to beat his bookie fairly, as evidenced by his fourth straight sub-.500 week (6-9 for Week 5, 35-49-2, .417 season), Vindicator goes all “Cobra-Kai” and decides to “sweep the leg” with....

(What the beautiful people read to be seen)

KANSAS STATE over #7 Nebraska taking 12:
Huskers got a rest following ho-hum 17-3 win over pesky South Dakota State. ‘Cats are on the periphery of the Top 25 at 4-0 (2-1 ATS), having edged Iowa State and Central Florida and dodging a bullet vs. UCLA (all sandwiching a win over I-AA Mizzou State). A May ish of ESPN Da’ Mag reported K-State football coach Bill Snyder tore up his knee when linemen fell on him during spring practice. Have to like the toughness. An upset wouldn’t be amazing here...Big Dread 20 KSU 16

#22 Oklahoma State over LOUISIANA-LAFAYETTE giving 23:
Cajuns’ defense is about on par with Oklahoma State’s (i.e. not a strength), but Weeziana has only faced a trio of fellow Fun Belt squads and lost 55-7 to Joja’ team on a down year. Cowpokes rallied from two touchdown deficit to beat Texas A&M, but the former UL-Laugh-At-Us, who is just 1-6 ATS in last 7 against ranked teams, has no such offensive capability...OKSU 47 Swamp Rage 20

#19 SOUTH CAROLINA over #1 Alabama taking 6 1/2:
Tide got four turnovers from the Gators and the lone ‘Bama spread loss in 2010 has come on the road. Looks like another Arkansas-Alabama type game, but rested Poultry can play D too. If Garcia can avoid interceptions...Tide 20 Chargin’ Chickens 16

#2 OHIO STATE over Indiana giving 22 1/2: State is reportedly led by no less than six (count ‘em, six!) captains this season. Apparently on Saturday, it was Captain Ahab, Captain Kangaroo, Cap’n Crunch, Captain Bligh, Walt Whitman’s “O’ Captain, my Captain” and...Captain Marvel, who jumped off the sidelines to save the Buckeyes’ bacon late vs. Illinois! Hoosiers registered almost 500 passing yards vs. the Wolverines and Indy’s covered 5 of last 7 facing ranked teams, but Pryor is expected to play this week and State’s defense is a horse of a different color from that of Michigan. It was 33-14 Buckeyes last year...OSU 41Indy 13

#3 Oregon over WASHINGTON STATE giving 36: Vindy’s gonna’ hate himself for not designating this one as lock of da’ week. Coogs have actually been “competitive” recently, covering two of last three games this year, but losing by an average of 42 ppg. Ducks have cleaned Wazzou’s clock the past three years, winning by an average margin of 56-9. The only good news in Mallards’ comeback win after spotting the Trees an 18-point advantage is that our futures bet on the Drakes to win it all is still intact (how does a ‘Bama-Oregon national title game grab ya???!!!) . WSU has dropped 13 straight FBS games. Make it 14...Quack Attack 54 WSU 13

#4 BOISE STATE over Toledo giving 38 1/2: We looked at this for lock. Rockets rang up three SU road victories over two MAC clubs and Purdue before losing as home chalk to Wyoming (who left off the throttle up 20 late in the 3rd Quarter and almost regretted doing so) following season-opening 41-2 loss vs. Arizona. As we expected, Broncos are showing no mercy, scoring on a 54-yard touchdown run with 1:19 left in 59-0 embarrassment of New Mexico State. That only got ‘em the loss of a spot in the AP Poll. Release the hounds...’Taters 54 Mudhens 10

#5 TCU over Wyoming giving 34: Following 27-0 SU win, but spread loss, Frog Legs QB Andy Dalton said, “The end result is all that matters” (as opposed to scoring style-points with the voters). Sounds like coach-speak to us and hey...ya never saw Gary Patterson’s lips move, didja’??!! Toledo out-gained Wyoming by almost 110 yards, but the Cowboys hung on for a nice road triumph. Toads posted their lone spread-win to-date at home, blasting Baylor 45-10. Wyoming (3-1 ATS this year) has gone 7-1 in last 8 ATS getting points outside Laramie and 3-2 against line in past five vs. ranked teams. UW gave up 34 to not-so-special Texas O at Austin and 51 to Boise...Toadstools 44 Wyoming 6

#6 Oklahoma: IDLE (next vs. Iowa State)

#8 Auburn over KENTUCKY giving 6 ½: Wildcats may have spent themselves in rally that didn’t quite get there last week at Ole Miss, while Tigers cruised from the first play of scrimmage last week, pounding UL-Monroe. KY entered 2010 having covered just 2 of last 11 games in Lexington. ‘Cats cranked up the offense to post a pair of home spread-wins this year, but only vs. Western Kentucky and Akron, two of the country’s worst teams. We expect Auburn’s defense to dictate the pace...enough....War Eagles 29 Kentucky 19

Oregon State over #9 ARIZONA taking 7 ½: Something has to give here. Arizona is on 11-3 ATS run at home. State is 8-1 ATS in last 9 away from Corvallis and has already covered in losses to TCU and Boise. Beavers enjoyed their last two visits to Tucson, winning 17-10 in 2006 and 19-17 in 2008. On the minus side, all four Beavers’ opponents this year have scored at least 28 points. Only Iowa scored more than 9 against UA. OSU should keep it close and could be ready to bust out, but we’ll just call it...Arizona 30 Oregon State 27

#10 Utah over IOWA STATE giving 6: This also got “lock” consideration. Three of nation’s top nine scoring defenses reside in the Mountain West, including this week’s visiting team. ‘Clones are getting some respect following unexpected two-touchdown defeat of Texas Tech, but we ain’t buyin’ it. ISU was plus-4 in turnovers. First challenge for Utah since opening OT win over Pitt. Might be a quick game with both sides running the ball a ton...Utah 23 Iowa State 10

Texas A&M over #11 Arkansas (@ Arlington, TX) taking 6: This has track-meet written all over it and we watched Texas A&M in wild one last week at Oklahoma State. Hogs still content to simply try to outscore their opponent and we think Aggies QB Jerrod Johnson will shred the Arkansas pass defense. A&M will fare much better than 2009's 47-19 loss. Looks like a nice “over” and only TAMU’s mere 27-20 win over Florida International prevents us from calling an outright upset...Arkansas 42 TAMU 39

#12 Louisiana State over #14 FLORIDA taking 9: Crocs QB Jeff Brantley is expected to play, though he may not be all the way back from injury. Tigers are on borrowed time, but somehow continue to manage to win...even if it’s ugly (and it is!). These clubs combined for 8 turnovers last week and LSU barely won despite an edge of better than 200 yards on offense over the Vols. State is 2-1 ATS in the SEC so far, but hasn’t won outright in the Swamp since 2004...Florida 22 LSU 19

#23 Florida State over #13 MIAMI taking 6: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. First meeting with both teams in the Top 25 since 2006. ‘Noles carry the title of national sack leaders, with 25. Not good news for a Miami QB that’s thrown regular picks with less pressure than that. Pelicans got six turnovers from Clemson to win by nine in a game that was closer. ‘Noles lost 38-34 last year. If State doesn’t field that bunch of guys who “played” vs. Oklahoma, we’ll take Christian Ponder over Happy-Fingers Harris...Injuns 27 Pelicans 24

#15 Iowa: IDLE (next @ Michigan)

#16 STANFORD over Southern Cal giving 9 ½ : Trees routed USC last year, 55-21, and normally we’d consider giving the Trojans the benefit of the revenge factor, but last week’s loss to UDUB, in which the Huskies reeled off about 7 yards per carry, seems indicative of the passion-less efforts USC has been bringing to the field. Stanford should come out smokin’ after blowing an early 18-point lead in Eugene and scoring exactly nada in the second half...Cardinal 38 USC 20

#17 Michigan State over #18 MICHIGAN taking 4 ½: Wolverines D, other than holding UConn to 10 points in the first game of the season, has been a liability. Spartans have won this series in each of the last 2 years and knocked off Wisconsin last Saturday in a see-saw game, despite a minus-three turnover ratio. Both offenses have been in fine form...Michigan State 30 Big Blew 27

Minnesota over #20 WISCONSIN taking 22: We’d feel better about this pick had the Cheeseheads actually won last week, but the Badgers stand at 0-4 ATS to-date, are now 0-7 ATS in the first of consecutive home games (per Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com), beat a terrible San Josie State team at home by 13 and won by just a FG this time last year off the Michigan State game .O-fers are 3-1 against the number in 2010 (1-4 straight up) and Homecoming or not, should hang in there vs. lumbering, deliberate behemoth Wisky squad...Wisconsin 29 Gilded Gerbils 13

#21 UNR over San Jose State giving 39: Wolfpack could be uninspired after tougher-than-expected rivalry game at UNLV, but the Spartans lost to I-AA UC home...14-13 last week and were thrashed 56-3 by Utah the week before. Reno has covered matches following UNLV two years running and three of last four. Unless the aforementioned death ray followed the Wolfpack home...UNR 49 SJSU 7

Colorado over #24 MISSOURI taking 12 ½: Not sure if Bison’s upset win over the ‘Dawgs speaks to the much-overdue improvement of Colorado or just the ongoing futility at Joja’, which had the services of QB Aaron Green following his four-game suspension for selling his bowl jersey to an agent for $1,000 (Guess there’s little market for Vindicator’s forecast-worn Snuggies, huh?!). Mizzou enters its conference opener off a bye week and shows a record of 4-0 SU/3-1 ATS. CU is on 4-0 ATS run against ranked teams and 6-2 in last 8 as a home dog...Missouri 27 Buffs 23

Colorado State over #25 AIR FORCE taking 24: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Falcons could be flat following close victory over their fellow servicemen from the Naval Academy. Rams thwarted TCU’s potent offense for the first half last week while posting a goose-egg on offense to record their second straight spread win (the first coming on an outright victory, getting more than a touchdown, vs. Idaho). In what’s basically a cross-town rivalry, we’ll take... Pilots 24 CSU 16

Last summer, Lindsey Lohan sported fingernails bearing profanities during her day in court. With the No Fun League and college officials banning eye-black with messages, it’s likely athletes will seek out the erratic actress for her cosmo services during the season!

The Minnesota Vikings have installed vending machines containing team merchandise at the Mall of America. In related news, a Detroit Lions fan, trying to buy his team a win, was injured by a similar machine after the frustrated fan toppled it over on himself in an attempt to retrieve a victory that got caught in the dispensing coil!.

A June ish of ESPN: Da’ Mag noted the new Florida Marlins park will feature a huge aquarium behind home plate. stray high-heater that gets by the catcher or a foul-tip straight back and 200,000 gallons of salt water turn the on-deck circles into kiddie pools!

A member of the Army’s Golden Knights skydiving team was left dangling from a flagpole after his chute got entangled during a jump before an August Twins-Rangers game. Just one more reason to not jump out of a perfectly good airplane!

Black Shirt: Goes to Husky QB Jake Locker for 110 rushing yards that helped lead UDUB to the straight-up win over USC.

“Wish I Had That One Back”: We’d like to reconsider Ohio State over Illinois after we pointed out all the trends supporting a play on the Illini!

“Locked in a Box?”: Big Blew let Indy trade touchdowns, dropping the lock tally to 2-3 (.400).

Shoppe Talk: The Bengals escape the cage, but the Steers get BBQ-d and we make a pin cushion outta’ Brutus the Buckeye as Texas (1-4) and OSU (1-4) hang another forecast dubya each on our host. The Gators also slither in at 1-4.

Vindy’s Week 6 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-4 Season: 8-14 (.363)
NC STATE -10 over Boston College, Virginia +9 ½ over JOJA’ TECH, Tennessee +12 over JOJA’, Bowling Green +9 over OHIO, Army (PK) over TULANE, Utah State +1 ½ over WEEZIANA TECH