“DEATH RAY” SEALS TEAM’S FATE
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (BBC)....It started as a joke after a tourist reported a beam of sunlight singed his hair and melted his plastic bags while staying at the local Vdara hotel and resort. Breaking with tradition, the UNLVfootball team stayed there Friday night and Saturday prior to the rivalry game with UNR later Saturday night. In a twist of fate, the sunlight swath dragged itself across the Rebels’ rooms, distorting players helmets and pads, even kicking tees and athletic protectors. With no time to replace the mutated equipment, the team pressed on. Investigations into the bizarre natural phenomenon revealed sleep-deprived and inebriated tourists, who reported seeing Gort from The Day the Earth Stood Still actually projecting the rays from his eyes into the block of rooms occupied by Rebels athletes. The ray, called a “solar convergence” by Sin City spin-doctors, was also suspected to be responsible for several pilots being temporarily blinded while landing aircraft at local McCarran Airport and warping the door mechanism on a port-a-potty on a landing overlooking the Hoover Dam during anniversary ceremonies, briefly trapping an unsuspecting tourist inside, some 30 miles away, just across the Arizona-Nevada border.
Unable to beat his bookie fairly, as evidenced by his fourth straight sub-.500 week (6-9 for Week 5, 35-49-2, .417 season), Vindicator goes all “Cobra-Kai” and decides to “sweep the leg” with....
THE WEBER KID’S 2010 WEEK 6 FORECAST
(What the beautiful people read to be seen)
THURS. OCT. 7
KANSAS STATE over #7 Nebraska taking 12: Huskers got a rest following ho-hum 17-3 win over pesky South Dakota State. ‘Cats are on the periphery of the Top 25 at 4-0 (2-1 ATS), having edged Iowa State and Central Florida and dodging a bullet vs. UCLA (all sandwiching a win over I-AA Mizzou State). A May ish of ESPN Da’ Mag reported K-State football coach Bill Snyder tore up his knee when linemen fell on him during spring practice. Have to like the toughness. An upset wouldn’t be amazing here...Big Dread 20 KSU 16
FRI. OCT. 8
#22 Oklahoma State over LOUISIANA-LAFAYETTE giving 23: Cajuns’ defense is about on par with Oklahoma State’s (i.e. not a strength), but Weeziana has only faced a trio of fellow Fun Belt squads and lost 55-7 to Joja’ team on a down year. Cowpokes rallied from two touchdown deficit to beat Texas A&M, but the former UL-Laugh-At-Us, who is just 1-6 ATS in last 7 against ranked teams, has no such offensive capability...OKSU 47 Swamp Rage 20
SAT. OCT. 9
#19 SOUTH CAROLINA over #1 Alabama taking 6 1/2: Tide got four turnovers from the Gators and the lone ‘Bama spread loss in 2010 has come on the road. Looks like another Arkansas-Alabama type game, but rested Poultry can play D too. If Garcia can avoid interceptions...Tide 20 Chargin’ Chickens 16
#2 OHIO STATE over Indiana giving 22 1/2: State is reportedly led by no less than six (count ‘em, six!) captains this season. Apparently on Saturday, it was Captain Ahab, Captain Kangaroo, Cap’n Crunch, Captain Bligh, Walt Whitman’s “O’ Captain, my Captain” and...Captain Marvel, who jumped off the sidelines to save the Buckeyes’ bacon late vs. Illinois! Hoosiers registered almost 500 passing yards vs. the Wolverines and Indy’s covered 5 of last 7 facing ranked teams, but Pryor is expected to play this week and State’s defense is a horse of a different color from that of Michigan. It was 33-14 Buckeyes last year...OSU 41Indy 13
#3 Oregon over WASHINGTON STATE giving 36: Vindy’s gonna’ hate himself for not designating this one as lock of da’ week. Coogs have actually been “competitive” recently, covering two of last three games this year, but losing by an average of 42 ppg. Ducks have cleaned Wazzou’s clock the past three years, winning by an average margin of 56-9. The only good news in Mallards’ comeback win after spotting the Trees an 18-point advantage is that our futures bet on the Drakes to win it all is still intact (how does a ‘Bama-Oregon national title game grab ya???!!!) . WSU has dropped 13 straight FBS games. Make it 14...Quack Attack 54 WSU 13
#4 BOISE STATE over Toledo giving 38 1/2: We looked at this for lock. Rockets rang up three SU road victories over two MAC clubs and Purdue before losing as home chalk to Wyoming (who left off the throttle up 20 late in the 3rd Quarter and almost regretted doing so) following season-opening 41-2 loss vs. Arizona. As we expected, Broncos are showing no mercy, scoring on a 54-yard touchdown run with 1:19 left in 59-0 embarrassment of New Mexico State. That only got ‘em the loss of a spot in the AP Poll. Release the hounds...’Taters 54 Mudhens 10
#5 TCU over Wyoming giving 34: Following 27-0 SU win, but spread loss, Frog Legs QB Andy Dalton said, “The end result is all that matters” (as opposed to scoring style-points with the voters). Sounds like coach-speak to us and hey...ya never saw Gary Patterson’s lips move, didja’??!! Toledo out-gained Wyoming by almost 110 yards, but the Cowboys hung on for a nice road triumph. Toads posted their lone spread-win to-date at home, blasting Baylor 45-10. Wyoming (3-1 ATS this year) has gone 7-1 in last 8 ATS getting points outside Laramie and 3-2 against line in past five vs. ranked teams. UW gave up 34 to not-so-special Texas O at Austin and 51 to Boise...Toadstools 44 Wyoming 6
#6 Oklahoma: IDLE (next vs. Iowa State)
#8 Auburn over KENTUCKY giving 6 ½: Wildcats may have spent themselves in rally that didn’t quite get there last week at Ole Miss, while Tigers cruised from the first play of scrimmage last week, pounding UL-Monroe. KY entered 2010 having covered just 2 of last 11 games in Lexington. ‘Cats cranked up the offense to post a pair of home spread-wins this year, but only vs. Western Kentucky and Akron, two of the country’s worst teams. We expect Auburn’s defense to dictate the pace...enough....War Eagles 29 Kentucky 19
Oregon State over #9 ARIZONA taking 7 ½: Something has to give here. Arizona is on 11-3 ATS run at home. State is 8-1 ATS in last 9 away from Corvallis and has already covered in losses to TCU and Boise. Beavers enjoyed their last two visits to Tucson, winning 17-10 in 2006 and 19-17 in 2008. On the minus side, all four Beavers’ opponents this year have scored at least 28 points. Only Iowa scored more than 9 against UA. OSU should keep it close and could be ready to bust out, but we’ll just call it...Arizona 30 Oregon State 27
#10 Utah over IOWA STATE giving 6: This also got “lock” consideration. Three of nation’s top nine scoring defenses reside in the Mountain West, including this week’s visiting team. ‘Clones are getting some respect following unexpected two-touchdown defeat of Texas Tech, but we ain’t buyin’ it. ISU was plus-4 in turnovers. First challenge for Utah since opening OT win over Pitt. Might be a quick game with both sides running the ball a ton...Utah 23 Iowa State 10
Texas A&M over #11 Arkansas (@ Arlington, TX) taking 6: This has track-meet written all over it and we watched Texas A&M in wild one last week at Oklahoma State. Hogs still content to simply try to outscore their opponent and we think Aggies QB Jerrod Johnson will shred the Arkansas pass defense. A&M will fare much better than 2009's 47-19 loss. Looks like a nice “over” and only TAMU’s mere 27-20 win over Florida International prevents us from calling an outright upset...Arkansas 42 TAMU 39
#12 Louisiana State over #14 FLORIDA taking 9: Crocs QB Jeff Brantley is expected to play, though he may not be all the way back from injury. Tigers are on borrowed time, but somehow continue to manage to win...even if it’s ugly (and it is!). These clubs combined for 8 turnovers last week and LSU barely won despite an edge of better than 200 yards on offense over the Vols. State is 2-1 ATS in the SEC so far, but hasn’t won outright in the Swamp since 2004...Florida 22 LSU 19
#23 Florida State over #13 MIAMI taking 6: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. First meeting with both teams in the Top 25 since 2006. ‘Noles carry the title of national sack leaders, with 25. Not good news for a Miami QB that’s thrown regular picks with less pressure than that. Pelicans got six turnovers from Clemson to win by nine in a game that was closer. ‘Noles lost 38-34 last year. If State doesn’t field that bunch of guys who “played” vs. Oklahoma, we’ll take Christian Ponder over Happy-Fingers Harris...Injuns 27 Pelicans 24
#15 Iowa: IDLE (next @ Michigan)
#16 STANFORD over Southern Cal giving 9 ½ : Trees routed USC last year, 55-21, and normally we’d consider giving the Trojans the benefit of the revenge factor, but last week’s loss to UDUB, in which the Huskies reeled off about 7 yards per carry, seems indicative of the passion-less efforts USC has been bringing to the field. Stanford should come out smokin’ after blowing an early 18-point lead in Eugene and scoring exactly nada in the second half...Cardinal 38 USC 20
#17 Michigan State over #18 MICHIGAN taking 4 ½: Wolverines D, other than holding UConn to 10 points in the first game of the season, has been a liability. Spartans have won this series in each of the last 2 years and knocked off Wisconsin last Saturday in a see-saw game, despite a minus-three turnover ratio. Both offenses have been in fine form...Michigan State 30 Big Blew 27
Minnesota over #20 WISCONSIN taking 22: We’d feel better about this pick had the Cheeseheads actually won last week, but the Badgers stand at 0-4 ATS to-date, are now 0-7 ATS in the first of consecutive home games (per Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com), beat a terrible San Josie State team at home by 13 and won by just a FG this time last year off the Michigan State game .O-fers are 3-1 against the number in 2010 (1-4 straight up) and Homecoming or not, should hang in there vs. lumbering, deliberate behemoth Wisky squad...Wisconsin 29 Gilded Gerbils 13
#21 UNR over San Jose State giving 39: Wolfpack could be uninspired after tougher-than-expected rivalry game at UNLV, but the Spartans lost to I-AA UC Davis...at home...14-13 last week and were thrashed 56-3 by Utah the week before. Reno has covered matches following UNLV two years running and three of last four. Unless the aforementioned death ray followed the Wolfpack home...UNR 49 SJSU 7
Colorado over #24 MISSOURI taking 12 ½: Not sure if Bison’s upset win over the ‘Dawgs speaks to the much-overdue improvement of Colorado or just the ongoing futility at Joja’, which had the services of QB Aaron Green following his four-game suspension for selling his bowl jersey to an agent for $1,000 (Guess there’s little market for Vindicator’s forecast-worn Snuggies, huh?!). Mizzou enters its conference opener off a bye week and shows a record of 4-0 SU/3-1 ATS. CU is on 4-0 ATS run against ranked teams and 6-2 in last 8 as a home dog...Missouri 27 Buffs 23
Colorado State over #25 AIR FORCE taking 24: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Falcons could be flat following close victory over their fellow servicemen from the Naval Academy. Rams thwarted TCU’s potent offense for the first half last week while posting a goose-egg on offense to record their second straight spread win (the first coming on an outright victory, getting more than a touchdown, vs. Idaho). In what’s basically a cross-town rivalry, we’ll take... Pilots 24 CSU 16
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Last summer, Lindsey Lohan sported fingernails bearing profanities during her day in court. With the No Fun League and college officials banning eye-black with messages, it’s likely athletes will seek out the erratic actress for her cosmo services during the season!
The Minnesota Vikings have installed vending machines containing team merchandise at the Mall of America. In related news, a Detroit Lions fan, trying to buy his team a win, was injured by a similar machine after the frustrated fan toppled it over on himself in an attempt to retrieve a victory that got caught in the dispensing coil!.
A June ish of ESPN: Da’ Mag noted the new Florida Marlins park will feature a huge aquarium behind home plate. Great...one stray high-heater that gets by the catcher or a foul-tip straight back and 200,000 gallons of salt water turn the on-deck circles into kiddie pools!
A member of the Army’s Golden Knights skydiving team was left dangling from a flagpole after his chute got entangled during a jump before an August Twins-Rangers game. Just one more reason to not jump out of a perfectly good airplane!
Black Shirt: Goes to Husky QB Jake Locker for 110 rushing yards that helped lead UDUB to the straight-up win over USC.
“Wish I Had That One Back”: We’d like to reconsider Ohio State over Illinois after we pointed out all the trends supporting a play on the Illini!
“Locked in a Box?”: Big Blew let Indy trade touchdowns, dropping the lock tally to 2-3 (.400).
Shoppe Talk: The Bengals escape the cage, but the Steers get BBQ-d and we make a pin cushion outta’ Brutus the Buckeye as Texas (1-4) and OSU (1-4) hang another forecast dubya each on our host. The Gators also slither in at 1-4.
Vindy’s Week 6 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-4 Season: 8-14 (.363)
NC STATE -10 over Boston College, Virginia +9 ½ over JOJA’ TECH, Tennessee +12 over JOJA’, Bowling Green +9 over OHIO, Army (PK) over TULANE, Utah State +1 ½ over WEEZIANA TECH
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