Wednesday, October 30, 2019
SIN CITY LANDS CELEB CAR WASH
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (REUTERS)…Last Saturday, ex-Major Leaguer Jose Canseco raised the curtain here on his latest endeavor...Showtime Car Wash. All cleaning-services come with a free air freshener that smells like freshly-mowed grass or a new leather glove. While their vehicles are being washed, patrons can purchase soda, beer, hotdogs, popcorn and/or peanuts from vendors roaming the stands that make-up part of the ballpark-experience, because as stated by an employee who wished to remain anonymous, “The three most-important words at the car wash are...’Hey... Beer...Man!’”. For a nominal-fee, seats can be upgraded to provide a better view of the work-area. A variety of packages are available to choose from, including the Change-Up, in which it appears initially that the car will get the requested-service, but the employee alters that package at the last minute; the Bat-Around, in which the vehicle is washed, dried and waxed individually by nine consecutive employees and the Wheelhouse, in which patrons unable to decide upon a service spin a wheel to determine the package to occur! A spokesperson for the business said, “With all apologies to Bowling for Soup, there’s no truth to the rumor that Jose tried to persuade Tawny Kitaen to ‘shake her ash on the hood of Whitesnake’s car’ as a promotional-idea.”
We posted a solid 4-1 last week (13-7, .650), losing only on our Northwestern +10 ½ selection, putting us at nifty 9-1 over the past two fortnights. Slim-pickin's here given that half the ranked-squads are on vacay this week (and one facing a I-AA team...Wofford, Clemson???!!!! Really???!!!! Wofford???!!!)
We’re replacin’ our progressive-lenses with a pair of incidental-contacts in an effort to improve our downfield-vision enough to read...
THE WEBER KID’S WEEK 10 FORECAST
(Sponsored by AT&T and usin’ da’ Gamecocktail-stick!)
SAT. NOV. 2
#6 Florida (+6 ½) over #8 Georgia (@ Jacksonville, FL): UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. Joja’ has shown no mercy in this one the last two years, winning by 35 and 19 (with both finishing close to this total ) and having been ATS gold on neutral-sites, covering 8 of previous 10 (Florida is mere 3-5 in that same timeframe). Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com asserted the ‘Dawgs have hit the scoreboard for minimum of 31 in 20 of previous 24 victories with Coach Smart at the helm entering 2019, but UGA has done so just three times this year and have managed 61 cumulative points in the three games played vs. opponents with a reasonable defense (20.3 ppg average). As previously-noted, Crocs’ lone-loss came at current AP #1-team LSU. UF beat Auburn by 11 and South Carolina, who accounted for Bulldogs’ only-demise, also by 11. Lawrence also has Gators beating the line in 7 of last 8 with a week-off and are scoring average of 29.5 ppg facing I-A foes...Florida 28 Georgia 24
#9 Utah @ WASHINGTON (“under 47 ½”): Almost called the dreaded “double-pick” here, nearly also layin’ the points with the visitor. Huskies got to regroup last week after letting Oregon off the ropes and failing to close the gap on division-leading Quack Attack. Other than 31 in that tilt, Sled Dogs’ offense has struggled to move the ball on the better-teams on the schedule. Utes have been stingy all year, allowing just north of 10 ppg overall (4th behind three Big Tentative teams), a rate that plummets to just a tad more than 5 ppg in PAC-12 play. Meanwhile we tip our helmet to UDUB for fielding a pretty-good scoring-defense itself (22.5 ppg in I-A contests), given just two returning-starters on D and being dead-last in overall returning-experience on that side of the ball. Washington has bested Utah three times in two years, including 10-3 in 2018 conference title game. Utah looks poised to run the remainder of the regular-season slate... Utah 24 Washington 17
#15 Southern Methodist (+5 ½) over #24 MEMPHIS: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. It’s been all-Tigers the last three years, taking each contest by double-digits and 6-1 ATS on the season, but best-win thus far was prolly 42-41 track-meet at Tulsa last Saturday. Pony Express has won SU in both dog-chances this year, including opener at Arkansas State, but more-impressively over TCU, who toppled the Longhorns in Week 9, at Ft. Worth. Equines were held to lowest scoring-total (34) last week and just second-game below 41 on the season. “Over 68 ½” wouldn’t be a horrible-choice, because despite significant returning-experience on the stop–side, only Texas State recorded less than three-touchdowns on the Mustangs and Memphis (five straight “overs”) has been generous in four of past five. Ponies get two extra days to prep, having last played live-fire a week-ago Thursday. Tigers garnering some chatter as the most-likely Group- of-Five club to get the NY6 berth, but in SMU we trust!... SMU 41 Memphis 35
SAN JOSE STATE (+17 ½) over #21 Boise State: Broncos, off a bye following tough three-point loss at BYU, has two victories by this many points...at UNLV by 25 and against Hawaii by 22...and are 1-1 ATS a road-chalk in 2019. Across the field, third-year coach Brent Brennan has Spartans, off outright upset at West Point as 10-point ‘dogs last week, vying for first post-season trip since 2015. At 4-4 SU (4-3 ATS), SJSU has already topped straight-up win-total from 2017 and 2018 combined. San Jose has beaten the line once in three tries at CEFCU Stadium, but those spreads were considerably-smaller than this one...Broncos 34 SJSU 23
NC State @ #23 WAKE FOREST (“under 60”): The only viable, semi-logical rationale we can surmise for a total this high is based on the trio of ACC games each squad has played. State has conceded an average of 28.7 ppg, with Wake giving-up average of 35.3 ppg. However, upon further review, four of the six matches under scrutiny were significantly beneath this number when the clock hit zeroes. The two outliers seem related, in one way or another, to da’ Gilded Iggles of Boston College. NCSU fell 45-24 at Chestnut Hill. The Forest took crazy 62-59 decision vs. Louisville, whose other finale over 59 ½ encompassed 41-39 triumph facing...yep... Boston College! Both combatants return to their regularly-scheduled programming...Vile Vicars 29 Werewolf Pack 23
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW, Vindicator was recruited to exclusively-perform the Mendoza Line, a highly-discounted package in which vehicles are cleaned by an employee that barely-meets minimum performance standards. And if we were in charge of marketing, we’d bring in former teammate Mark McGwire as a partner and call it...Brush Brothers!
At least the Wofford Terriers are ranked...#23 this week (5-2 SU) in the FCS Poll. Terriers have pretty-much abandoned the forward-pass in lieu of 363.4 rushing yards per tilt. Clemson limits opponents to less than a third of that. North Carolina went for 146 yards (one TD) on the ground in near-upset of CU earlier in the year.
Going back to Mike Grimala’s 49 predictions re: UNLV football, the writer foresaw the Rebels giving-up no touchdowns on special teams. The Aztecs recovered a blocked-punt in the EZ last week for a TD. First one yielded all season by the hometown heroes.
Didja’ know 15-minutes can save you 15% on Derek Carr insurance with GEICO??!
With Halloween looming, we note Stephen King’s “IT” antagonist Pennywise tormented recently-returned-from-suspension and oft-troubled Raiders offensive guard Incognito, inciting the anti-Oakland fans to chant...”Beep, beep, Ritchie! Beep, beep!”. The killer-clown taunted Tom Brady as well with...”We all GOAT down here!”
After Sam Darnold was caught on audio sayin’ he was “seein’ ghosts” vs. New England Patriots on MNF, Jacksonville defenders were planning to troll the NY Jets QB with shouts of “boo” and other spirit-related references on sunday. Personally, if we were the Jaguars DC, we’d have had linebackers stealing a quote from Poltergeist and yelling, “Sammy-Ann...stay away from the light!”
The Houston Texans play in London this week. Just wonderin’ if they’ll visit Carlos Hyde Park in-between practices?
Another thought on our Week 9 Lead Story...if RoboCop was an umpire at a Philadelphia Phillies home-game, would we hear... ”Stop..Citizens’ Bank Park...or there will be...trouble.”??!!
Black Shirt: Goes to LSU CB Derek Stingley, Jr. for a muffed-punt that was followed by an Auburn touchdown during Tigers’ ultimate cover vs. the Bengals.
Vindy’s Week 10 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-2 Season: 17-17-1 (.500)
UCONN +27 over Navy, Boston College +3 over SYRACUSE, COLORADO STATE –10 over Unlv, Tulsa @ TULANE “over 61 ½”