MLB EMPLOYS ARTIFICIAL UMPS
HOUSTON, Texas (UPI)…Taking a cue from this summer’s Atlantic League All-Star game, in which a computer successfully-transmitted pitch-locations to a human umpire behind the plate to call balls-and-strikes, Major League Baseball debuted actual robot umpires during Tuesday night’s World Series opener. The contest started uneventfully-enough, but quickly devolved into chaos as Rosie the Maid of The Jetsons-fame incessantly brushed-off home-plate between pitches. Meanwhile, bored with a lack of action at Second Base, the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em robots instigated a bench-clearing brawl for no apparent reason! Later in the tightly-contested game Gort took exception to the intentional-plunking of fellow extraterrestrial, Mr. Klaatu, in the game as a pinch-hitter. As the giant humanoid machine prepared to exact revenge, a quick-thinking fan in the crowd, familiar with the classic flick The Day the Earth Stood Still, shouted “Klaatu, barada, nikto!”, commanding the robotic-alien to stand-down, thereby avoiding complete decimation of not only the stadium, but of the city of Houston itself.
After Week Eight’s outstanding 5-0 (9-6, .600) effort, Vindy stroked his chin, implying he...was the GOAT (Greatest of All Tayminators)! The perfect-result immediately had a local bookie calling-out the prestigious-prognosticator as “a Russian asset”!
Among the contraband found during a shake-down of Felicity Huffman’s prison-cell earlier this week was a file, a cellphone and...
THE WEBER KID’S WEEK 9 FORECAST
(Blimp-worthy!)
#9 Auburn (+11) over #2 LSU: Bengals’ record is unblemished SU and against the line, and only Texas has challenged State enough to stay within single-digits, but 42-28 triumph over Florida was closer than the final-margin suggests. Series has been close the last three seasons, with Aubie grabbing a five-point victory in 2016 and State winning by 4 and 1 since then. Bo Nix didn’t fare all that well in 11-point loss to the Gators, but LSU’s D is seemingly down a bit from previous editions and could allow for more scoring-opportunities. On the other hand, War Eagle defense has permitted just over 19 ppg in SEC games and just north of 17 ppg overall. Cajun’ Cougars, with a single-digit win over Top 25 foe here, gain more than any serious-besting of Arkansas by Crimson Tide, of Wisconsin by Ohio State or of Boston College by Clemson this week...LSU 31 Auburn 24
KANSAS STATE (+23 ½) over #5 Oklahoma: Spooners haven’t faced a team with a semblance of a stop-squad thus far. They line-up against one here. Purple Persians are in payback-mode for last year’s 51-14 beatdown in Norman and won’t be shown-up by resurgent rival Jayhawks, who probably should’ve upset Texas last week. Lotsa’ seniors on both sidelines and we might rue not going with “under 58” instead. Oklahoma players, coaches, fans and cheerleaders are still trying to get the “Sooner Schooner” wagon upright after it toppled-over last week during West Virginia tilt...OK 31 KSU 20
#8 Notre Dame @ #19 MICHIGAN (“Over 51”): Catholics, who come-in off a bye, are allowing miniscule 17 ppg, but recently allowed 27 vs. the Trojans and five of six contests have finished above this total. In what is Notre Dame’s signature-win up to this point, Irish posted 35 against defensive-minded Virginia...more than 25% of the Wahoos’ points-allowed all season. Though only three of Michigan’s contests exceeded this number, Big Blue is conceding an average of 29 ppg...and that factors-in the shut-out vs. Rutgers and 3 by Iowa. That average could probably be higher were it not for some dropped-passes by wide-open receivers, including one late in the end zone that would’ve tied the Penn State clash at 28 and likely sent the tilt to overtime as the Alma Mater’s pass-D colored itself Casper and disappeared altogether after the Lions went up three scores early. We’ll award the Wolverines their first 2019 victory over a Top 25 foe here, but more-importantly, we expect enough points to be scored to beat the total...Michigan 31 Our Lady 28
NORTHWESTERN (+10 ½) over #20 Iowa: Wildcats, badly-overmatched against the Buckeyes, are now 1-5 on the scoreboard. With mere six-pack of contests remaining, N-DUB is in grave-danger of missing the post-season for the first time in five years and second-time in ten. Nine-point defeat in Madison has lost some shine of late, but figure Coach Fitzgerald’s guys to muster whatever they got left. Oddly, ‘Cats have walked-off with triumphs in each of the past three seasons in this series. Hawkeyes get a week off before traveling to Wisconsin, but could possibly display a little fatigue in the wake of three consecutive matches decided by 6 or fewer...Iowa 24 NW 16
#21 Appalachian State (-26) over SOUTH ALABAMA: Mountaineers made history last week being the first Stun Belt club to notch a straight-up victory while wearin’ da’ Top 25-hash-tag, pasting Weeziana-Cornrow 52-7. State has no victories to-date by this many, but owns a 34-31 win at North Carolina in late September (Side note: Six of Tarheels’ seven games show a cumulative difference of 19 points...2-4 SU/3-3 ATS), has taken the spread-dollars in four straight games, returned 16 starters from 2018’s 11-2 squad (who lost by 7 in Happy Valley and lost by 20 at Joja’ Sudden) and blasted these same Jags by 45 last year. South ‘Bama is winless in FBS-contests, lost respectably 35-21 in Lincoln to begin the campaign and comes in with a few extra days rest and practice, having last played on 10/16, but fell to Memphis by 36, by 22 at UAB and 24 at Troy...Application State 44 Jaguars 10
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW, if the Robot from Lost in Space took the diamond, would we hear “Danger, Danger, Jackie Robinson!” (Or maybe...”Danger, Danger, Brooks Robinson!” for those who remember the Orioles Hall-of-Famer!)???!!!
BONUS COVERAGE: Crappy-Game of Da’ Week: Da’ Sequel- Connecticut (-10 ½) @ UMASS (63): Minute Rice has one scoreboard-win and one spread-win...both came a few weeks against Akron (see our original Crappy-Game write-up in Week Five). UMass has been outscored in its demises by average of 35.5 ppg. Huskies also 1-5 SU (though 3-3 tally against the line), with only SU triumph realized in opener vs. FCS Wagner and show margin-of-loss to be 25.5 ppg. The key? UConn has faced better competition (two B10 clubs and 5-2 UCF and 5-2 Tulane, both from the AAC), while host has been smoked by best-opposition FIU (4-3) and Weeziana Tech (6-1), both from C-USA, to the tune of combined 113-21. If we were betting this one, we’d lay the low-DD with the visitors.
Following-up on a few items from Week 8...
Clips from these Beatles’ tunes were tweeted without permission by Donald Trump...”Game-Day Tripper”, “Drive My Derek Carr”, “Lucy in the Big Sky with Diamondbacks” and “Norwegian Hardwood”!
And additional specialty-beverages available at the Derek Carr Bar...the Colorado State Ft. Collins, the Bloody Maryland and the Linemanhattan!
In late August, Las Vegas Sun contributor Mike Grimala made 49 predictions about UNLV’s 2019 football season. Among them, Grimala called the Rebels’ best-win to be against San Diego State this coming Saturday. Clearly, the best-victory already occurred earlier in Nashville, but hey...stay-tuned!
During Sunday League-play, Falcons RB Devonta Freeman made an ill-advised attempt at fisticuffs with Los Angeles’ Aaron Donald. The Rams DT hoisted Freeman off the ground by the throat, drawing comparisons to a scene in “Star Wars: A New Hope”, in which Darth Vader did likewise to a Rebel officer. No word as to whether Donald was overheard to demanding “Where are those passes you intercepted? What have you done with those game-plans?!”
As the pro-ballers take the hardwood this week, equivalent to the NBA's historical strategy of "Hack-A-Shaq", the Vegas bookies have adopted...""Flay-A-Tay", "Assay-A-Tay", "Delay-A-Tay", "Filet-A-Tay". "Melee-A-Tay", "Touche-A-Tay" and..."Spin-A-Vin"!
Black Shirt: This week’s unsurpassed-undergarment goes to Florida QB Kyle Trask for four scoring-throws that ultimately rallied the Gators to the win and cover at South Carolina in what we originally-considered a no-brainer!
Shoppe Talk: Wisconsin’s (1-5, .167) failure to cover, much-less win, at Illinois warrants a weekend-pass. Likewise, the Auburn Tigers (1-4-2, .200), with the cover at Arkansas, get to leave Da’ Shoppe grounds (fer now!)
Vindy’s Week X Best Bets: Last Week: 1-2-1 Season: 15-15-1 (.500)
Air Force @ UTAH STATE “over 57 ½”, GEORGIA STATE –1 over Troy, TEMPLE +11 over Central Florida, Virginia @ LOUISVILLE “under 54”
No comments:
Post a Comment