Friday, December 15, 2006

Vindy's 2006-2007 Bowl Picks


SAPP ALLEGES INTENTIONAL FOOD POISONING
Lineman Reports Illicit Attempts to Keep Him Sidelined

OAKLAND, California (Reuters)...Raiders defensive tackle Warren Sapp told media he doesn’t eat out anymore when playing games away from home, citing deliberate efforts to keep him out of games by tampering with his meals. Sapp pointed to particular difficulty during pre-game culinary experiences in the City of Brotherly Love. "Come to think of it," reflected Sapp, "that last minute ‘team-mom’ substitute sure resembled McNabb’s mother. I never did like her and that whole ‘Chunky soup’ thing!" Shortly after Sapp’s meeting with reporters on the topic, a revised edition of "If I Did It" by O.J. Simpson hit the bookstore shelves and presented a hypothetical, detailed account of how the former Southern Cal Heisman-winning rusher would’ve poisoned Warren Sapp, had he actually done so. Investigators teased media with a little international intrigue, suggesting the alleged incidents may relate back to the Cold War and intimating the Russian government mistook Sapp for a KGB agent, with president Vladimir Putin ordering the tampering. The Kremlin has unconditionally refuted the charges as "Amerikan kapitalist horse-hockey!"

"Rocky Balboa" premieres on December 22nd. Insiders say a Cornish hen was hung on a hook in the famous meat-locker scene to protect Sly’s aging hands and it was made to look like a side of beef thru special effects (Can’t ya just hear Burgess Meredith yelling, "Eye of the lap cat, Rock! Eye of the lap cat!"??!!). In honor of the movie’s release, Vindy hung a parlay card on a hook as he trained for the bowl picks! Yeah...OK...so the card landed a couple of solid body shots! Vindy gets up off da’ mat before the ten-count expires, calls out "Adriannnnnnn (Peterson)" and offers...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006-07 BOWL PREDICTIONS
(Lines of December 14; over/under totals in parentheses)

DEC. 19
SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION POINSETTIA:
Northern Illinois over Texas Christian taking 12 ½ (47): Toads got "lock of da’ bowls" honors last season and failed miserably. The latest college football all-star game is being played in El Paso and being nicknamed "Texas vs. the Nation". Didn’t we already see this one when Frogs played in C-USA??!! These teams are evenly matched on offense. Edge on run defense goes to TCU, but Huskies have aerial options if once-Heisman-candidate RB Garrett Wolfe is ineffective...Ribbit U. 27 NIU 20

DEC. 21
PIONEER PURE VISION LAS VEGAS: #19 BYU over Oregon giving 4 (59 1/2):
Decoys are a controversial officiating call away from 6-6. Mormon fans are not known for dropping dollars in Sin City and the Coogs’ first flag will be "delay of spending"! What is the motivation for the Drakes, who had visions of much loftier bowls? Ducks lost (and failed to cover) last four games away from Autzen Stadium. The "over" looks good here too...BYU 38 Mallards 29

DEC. 22
NEW ORLEANS: Rice over Troy giving 6 ½ (51 1/2):
"Break up the Owls!" was sarcastically uttered by an announcer earlier this year in reference to Temple’s team, but Vin steals the phrase and applies it to the Rice contingent that reeled off six straight victories and seven wins in its last eight. Trojans have had time to rest after playing 8 of their 12 regular season games on the road. First Rice bowl (rice bowl?) in 45 years!...Rice 24 Troy 11

DEC. 23
PAPAJOHNS.COM: South Florida over East Carolina giving 3 ½ (43 1/2):
This was a tough call. Vindy has been a big fan of the Pirates this season (and is tickled to see ECU alum David Garrard directing the offense for the Jags on Sundays!). USF humiliated the Bucs 41-17 in ‘04 regular season game and fell flat on its face in a 14-0 loss to NC State in its first-ever bowl game last season. Common foe for these clubs was West Virginia. Pirates lost 27-17 at home, while Bulls won 24-19 in Morgantown. We’ll take the second-best I-A team in the Sunshine State (this season, in this forecaster’s humble opinion)...USF 24 Avast, Ye Landlubbers 17

NEW MEXICO: San Jose State over NEW MEXICO taking 4 ½ (49): LOCK OF DA’ BOWLS. Few teams get excited to play in their own backyard during the post-season. Lobos are no exception. Spartans continue nice turnaround from last three seasons of 3-8, 2-9 and 3-8 by adding another Mountain Jest squad to the list of victims... SJSU 31 New Mexico 17

ARMED FORCES: Utah over Tulsa giving 2 (49 1/2): Rumors have Donald Rumsfeld showing up to this one just before kickoff to urge "adjustment" in Tulsa’s bowl strategy and to recommend pulling Golden Hurricane safeties and corners outta’ "vulnerable positions"! Utes found their second wind in late October and just missed upset of MWC champ Cougars in finale...Utah 30 Tulsa 24

DEC. 24
HAWAII: Hawaii over Arizona State giving 8 (74 1/2):
ASU yielded only 17 ppg in final three matches after allowing 26 ppg through first nine. Two of the last three were in Tempe however. Other than contest against San Jose State, ‘Bows’ opponents with a pulse scored 30 or better. Collectively, these two teams brought back a total of nine starters on defense in the preseason. A nod to the "over"...Hawaii 44 ASU 35

DEC. 26
MOTOR CITY: Central Michigan over Middle Tennessee State giving 10 (51):
Interesting to see a second Sun Belt team bowling other than conference champ Troy (32 bowls will do that!). Chippies are a nifty 11-2 against the line, though only 1-1 laying double-digits. Blue Raiders just 1-3 ATS getting double-digits (against bowl teams on all four occasions)... Central Michigan 31 MTSU 17

DEC. 27
EMERALD: UCLA over Florida State giving 4 ½ (40 1/2):
Bobby Bowden put Drew Weatherford under center at the beginning of the Florida game after indicating QB Xavier Lee is better coming off the bench. Does that mean FSU has two quarterbacks, neither of whom is good enough to start, so Weatherford handled the opening possessions as the lesser of two evils because Lee is the better relief pitcher????!! Bad times in Tallahassee. Bruins clearly have the motivation to beat a traditional powerhouse and will carry momentum of huge win over then-#2 Southern Cal into this one...UCLA 24 Injuns 16

DEC. 28
INDEPENDENCE: Oklahoma State over Alabama giving 2 ½ (50 1/2):
Tide averaged just over 22 ppg on offense this season and posted more than 2 offensive TDs in regulation only twice (vs. Duke and Florida International). Former United Nations Weapons Inspector Hans Blix is off to join the International Ski Federation Ethics commission. Maybe he can make a stop in Tuscaloosa and try to find ‘Bama’s offense (Vindy’s intelligence network tells him they keep moving it around on trucks or other mobile platforms to prevent detection)...OKSU 27 Hans Tide Behind Their Backs 20

PACIFIC LIFE HOLIDAY: #21 Texas A&M over #20 Cal taking 5 (51 1/2): Bears are playing in a lower-tier bowl...again...following uninspired efforts vs. Southern Cal and Stanford. Aggies are total of two points against both Big 12 Title game contestants away from 11-1 record. A&M has already beaten Texas and win this one too for Coach Fran...Aggies 20 Cal 13

TEXAS: #16 Rutgers over Kansas State giving 7 ½ (45): Knights know they have the commitment of Coach Schiano to stay in the Garden State. In gratitude, Rutgers struts its best ground attack and best defense on national TV and flattens K-State squad that upended Texas and Oklahoma State at home...Knights 34 Wildcats 14

DEC. 29
GAYLORD HOTELS MUSIC CITY: Clemson over Kentucky giving 10 (57 1/2):
Wildcats are making nice strides and lighting up the scoreboard, but there are still too many issues on defense. Tigers’ average margin of victory, even disregarding 63-9 blowout of Temple, was still 40-9. The Clemson also rises...Tigers 44 KY 24

BRUT SUN: #24 Oregon State over Missouri giving 3 ½ (52): Tigers are Top 20 in pass D. Beavers will showcase WR Sammie Stroughter, who pulls in better than 5 catches for almost 100 yards per game. Mizzou lost of four of their final six-pack coming in but miraculously overcame an early three touchdown hole in last year’s Independence Bowl vs. South Carolina off a similarly slow regular-season finish. Beavers beat USC, Oregon and Hawaii en route to this game. Maybe Brut pitchman Broadway Joe will make an appearance... sober!...Oregon State 24 Missouri 20

AUTOZONE LIBERTY: South Carolina over Houston giving 7 (55 1/2): This will be determined by the play of the Cougars defense. A narrow regular season road loss and subsequent home win over Southern Miss support Houston’s chances here. Still, we have to take the stronger defensive team from the SEC...Gamecocks 31 Houston 20

INSIGHT: Minnesota over Texas Tech taking 6 ½ (66): If ya like the big "O", particularly lotsa’ passing, this game’s got your name written all over it! Together, Gophers and Raiders average nearly 60 ppg per game and better than 800 yards of offense, much of that through the air. In what figures to be a shootout, Weber gladly takes the points... Gophers 35 Tech 32

CHAMPS SPORTS: Maryland over Purdue giving 1 (52): In order to personally frustrate Kim Jong Il, the U.S. has imposed a trade ban on high tech toys, cigars and other luxury items the North Korean president has taken a shine to. In a related move, the Boilermakers have asked the NCAA to establish an embargo on Krispy Kremes to Terps coach Ralph Friedgen. Turtles beat five consecutive ACC foes, while Purdue’s conference wins were over the Big Ten bottom tier. Here, Coach...donut’s on the Weber Kid!...Maryland 28 Purdue 20

DEC. 30
MEINEKE CAR CARE: Navy over #23 Boston College taking 6 ½ (47):
Middies have won and covered back-to-back bowls , garnering "lock" honors from the Weber Kid in ‘04 and lock consideration last season. As one would expect from a highly-disciplined group of Uncle Sam’s servicemen, the Boat People average only just over four penalties per game. Army did everything it could to hand Navy the cover of 20 ½ points, but the Midshipmen just weren’t havin’ any of it. Navy’s first completed pass in that game came on the last play of the third quarter. Something has to give here as BC has won and covered five straight bowls, including a defeat of Boise on its home blue turf last year. Middies lost starting FB on first play vs. Army and lost starting QB during Rutgers game...BC 23 Admirals 20

MASTERCARD ALAMO: #18 Texas over Iowa giving 11 (53): Hawkeyes quarterback Drew Tate was not permitted to accept a new car as a prize after completing a hole-in-one at a charity golf tourney this summer. Geez, do ya know how hard it is to throw a football 275 yards into a tin cup???!!! Vindicator obviously badly overestimated Iowa’s capabilities in the preseason...’Horns 38 Iowa 14

CHICK-FIL-A: #14 Virginia Tech over Georgia giving 3 (38): Dawgs finished with a small flurry, hammering Auburn on the road and beating rival Joja’ Tech after floundering earlier with outright losses to Vandy and Kentucky. VT allowed double-digits to only one of last six opponents, averaging only four points-against during that span...Hokies 24 Georgia Not On My Mind 9

DEC. 31
MPC COMPUTERS: Nevada-Reno over Miami taking 3 (43):
‘Canes, more or less, backed into this when Virginia lost in the finale to Virginia Tech. Have to figure less-than-"U"-standards season and pending loss of head coach Larry Coker will be distracting, even with former DC taking over as the new head guy. Not unlike Florida State, Miami may simply mail it in and look to next season. A Florida man recently repelled an attacker by pummeling his would-be assailant with a football helmet. Miami coaches immediately offered the man a scholarship. Winner gets a PlayStation 3 in place of an actual bowl trophy!... Miami 20 UNR 19

JAN. 1
OUTBACK: Penn State over #17 Tennessee taking 4 (41):
Researchers from Montana State found dinosaur fossils this summer in the northeast part of the Las Vegas Valley. Reports note found items at the two-and-a-half mile site included elongated femurs, triceratops horns.....and a raptor-skin-bound high school yearbook signed by Joe Paterno! Rematch of 1992 Fiesta Bowl and 1993 Citrus, both won big by State...Nifty Lions 21 Vols 17

AT&T COTTON: #10 Auburn over #22 Nebraska giving 3 (44 1/2): Reportedly, the recently-auctioned junior-high book report by Britney Spears was acquired by an Auburn player who plagiarized it as his own project for one of those "directed reading" independent study classes (editor’s note: Vindy’s Hollywood spies tell him Spears is purportedly hopping on the publishing bandwagon and putting out (?) ..."If I Did It Again"!)...Tigers 30 Big Red 21

GATOR: #13 West Virginia over Georgia Tech giving 7 (49): Will Reggie Ball go out in a blaze of glory...or just go down in flames?!’Eers recovered well from untimely loss to South Florida by keeping Rutgers from the Big Least crown. Rich Rodriguez showed his loyalty to the team and the conference, turning down head coaching job at ‘Bama, and Vindy thinks we’ll the see the Mounties that were headed for the BCS Championship...WVU 29 ‘Jackets 14

CAPITAL ONE: #12 Arkansas over #6 Wisconsin giving 1 ½ (45): Special teams’ play killed the Pigs in SEC Championship match. Hard to go against beef of the Wisky lines, but we’ll favor the strength of schedule for the Razorbacks over that of the Badgers. Should be quick-moving, defensive battle with lotsa’ three-and-outs...Pigs 17 Wisconsin 13

ROSE: #3 Michigan over #8 Southern Cal giving 1 (47): Prompted by BCS snub to play rematch against the Buckeyes, Wolverines will come out loaded for bear and beat down a vulnerable USC team that squandered a chance to play yet again for the Grail. We like the "under" here too...Michigan 24 Trojans 13

TOSTITOS FIESTA: #9 Boise State over #7 Oklahoma taking 8 (51): Sooners get Adrian Peterson back for this one! Ian Johnson’s ribs should be better too for the Broncos attack. "Then Stoops said, with his playbook nervously spinning, ‘I must find a way to keep Boise from winning!’"...OK 30 BSU 27

JAN. 2
FED-EX ORANGE: #15 Wake Forest over #5 Louisville taking 9 ½ (52):
Deacons ran for 19 TDs in 13 games, while allowing only 9 rushing scores (20 total, many opponents had to throw early being down big). Cards allowed 12 rushing TDs in 12 games and ran for 33 rushing TDs alone. No question...Louisville is an offensive juggernaut. It’ll be up to Wake’s defense to control the pace...Cards 24 Wake 20

JAN. 3
ALLSTATE SUGAR: #4 Louisiana State over #11 Notre Dame giving 8 ½ (55):
Curt Schilling’s image was being used by online role-playing game EverQuest II to raise $$ to cure Lou Gehrig’s disease. Sony donated $5 for every player who beat Schilling during a three-day stretch in June. Curt would continue to make appearances in the game thereafter. Had it been Charlie Weis’ likeness, Vin would’ve gotten addicted and never left the computer...Bengals 42 Irish 20

JAN. 6
INTERNATIONAL: Western Michigan over Cincinnati taking 8 (41 1/2):
Bearkats beat both the other MAC teams they faced this year (and covered both at home). Broncos lost by 8 at Tallahassee and have enough on offense to keep Cincy defenders busy. Played in Toronto, the McKensie brothers will perform their version of "12 Days of Christmas" (yes, well-after the fact!) And teams must adhere to CFL rules. Take off, you hoser!...Cincinnati 23 WMU 17

JAN. 7
GMAC: Southern Miss over Ohio giving 6 ½ (42):
Eagles defense struggled against Houston’s powerful attack but have fewer concerns with Bobblecats ground game. Ohio probably needs to force a couple turnovers to stay close. USM owes Vindicator for posting Weber’s 100th bowl loss last season...Birds 31 Cats 16

JAN. 8
BCS TITLE: #2 Florida over #1 Ohio State taking 8 (48):
During Spring practice, Coach Meyer threatened to go without a running back on offense if no one stepped up. Gators did manage to improve on ‘05 average of 144.7 rushing ypg to 160.3 and took the overall offensive yardage up another notch from 366.7 to 398.1. UF has chance to bring home national crowns in men’s hoops and football in less than 10 months. Maybe Joaquim Noah could suit up! He’d be a great target at wide-out for Chris Leak! Florida claims wins over 9 of this year’s bowl squads (combined record 71-39), while State has victories over 7 (54-30). Buckeyes boast more recent national title game experience with controversial 2OT triumph against Miami in 2002, as well as three Fiesta Bowls, including that one. State’s won and covered 4 straight post-season appearances. Obviously, Tressel has been here before. If any coach can keep pace with the X’s and O’s, it’s Meyer. Here’s hopin’ for another thriller. Scrooge said, "Ohio State is what it is. Florida is what it is. And the BCS...is a humbug!"...OSU 27 Florida 24

BETWEEN THE WHO-HASHMARKS ("Why...that coach even took the last can of Who-hash!")

Weber registered Championship Week totals of 10-7 and has been on a 20-12-2 "tear" last two forecast weeks (127-125-8, .504 season [or roughly equivalent picking winners by coin toss!])

"The games, Spirit...are they real or are they shadows?"
"The bowls are real. We are the shadows."

Prince is slated to do this year’s halftime show at the Super Bowl. The Purple One will warm up at halftime of the Texas Bowl in the K-State locker room!

Vindy caught the following headline in this week’s edition of Gaming Today..."Seminoles to Buy Hard Rock Chain". If ya can’t beat the spread, buy the rights to set the spread!

Last month, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb released his own clothes line, called Super Five. Former teammate Terrell Owens has had his own line out for several years. We believe it’s called ...Pampers (Maybe we can get T.O. adopted by Madonna or Angelina Jolie!)

To ensure safety, Olympic athletes’ food will first be fed to mice during the 2008 Games in Beijing. Maybe Mr. Sapp oughta’ play in the CFL (uh...that’s Chinese Football League!). Or get himself a road mouse!

In recent weeks, Art Shell accused a Raiders’ organization member of trying to undermine the team, saying the unidentified person made calls to media across the country and criticized coaches. Shhhhhhh....don’t tell Coach Shell, but that unidentified person is actually...Vindy!

Jags coach Jack Del Rio recently dispelled rumors he was leaving the team, saying "I love working for (owner) Wayne Weaver and I’m not interested (in leaving)". We think Wayne’s dry-cleaning Jack’s suits!

Also last month, Michael Vick had to shell out $20K for flashing the international sign for uh..um..."we’re Number 1" with both hands following heckling from a fan in the stands in the aftermath of the loss to the Saints. Upon further review, the fan was actually Italian soccer star Marco Materazzi, who was on the wrong end of a headbutt during the World Cup final. Too bad, it wasn’t the Super Bowl. Vick could’ve head-butted his antagonist in the chest and received nothing more than a red card! (We heard Materazzi told Vick his "mother bets with Vindy’s Picks!")

At the start of the December 4th Monday Night Football game, the Eagles and the Panthers took the wrong sides of the field following the opening coin toss. Just more evidence that the tools of ignorance are not sole-domain of catchers!

Weber showed his forecast to Paris Hilton, who responded, "Vindy’s Picks? That’s hot!" Then he showed them to those two old-time scientists in the Guinness beer commercials. They responded, "Vindy’s Picks...brilliant! ... Brilliant!"

Weber has also printed his own version of "If I Did It" with a detailed account of how he would pick Iowa and West Virginia to play for this season’s national title. Oh, wait....!

"Locked in a Box?": Now 9-5 following Troy’s cover over Florida International.

Shoppe Talk: The Joja’ Tech Bees were the only "flame-thrower" in action during the championship week and they posted a forecast win! (But the bowls cometh!)

Vindy’s Best Bowl Bets: Last Week: 2-0 Season: 33-28-3 (.541)
Michigan -1over USC, Navy +6 ½ over Boston College, Texas A&M +5 over Cal, Arkansas/Wisconsin under 45

Vindy extends his annual holiday greetings to all of his readers..."Pass on Earth. Goodwill toward linemen."

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Vindy's Picks 2006 Conference Championships

GIBSON ARRESTED AGAIN, REMARKS INSULT COLLEGE PIGSKIN VOTERS

MALIBU, California (AP)...Mad Max was at it again following an alcohol-fueled Thanksgiving dinner that saw the actor-producer shouting obscenities at a TV during the Boston College-Miami game and led to a second arrest for DUI. Mel Gibson became verbally aggressive with arresting officers, screaming the “F*cking BCS...the BCS is responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Bowl Championship Series voter, officer?!” Pollsters were up in arms following release of Gibson’s insensitive comments. Gibson offered a public apology the following day, but NCAA officials weren’t satisfied. The Reverend Jesse Jackson has invited the beleaguered actor to appear on a live airing of College Game Day, which Jackson himself will host in order to discuss “conference isolation in the sports industry”. In addition, the Braveheart star will conduct 400 hours of community service, delivering speeches about the hazards of drinking and driving while acting as a tackling dummy for several teams, BCS and non-BCS, headed into the bowl season!

Vindy was definitely in the holiday spirit and thankful as his Week 13 picks finished at a mighty fine 10-5-2 (117-118-8, .498 season). Once more into da’ breach before Da’ Bowls with....

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP PICKS

THURS. NOV. 30
MAC Championship (@ Detroit, MI)

Central Michigan over Ohio giving 3: Tough pick. Bobcats have run off seven straight victories (covering 6 of ‘em). Chippies have won 6 of last 7 and lost respectably to Boston College and Kentucky. Bobblecats beat the Illini on the road. CMU was plus-3 in turnovers while routing Ohio last year 31-10. A little closer now...Central Michigan 31 Ohio 24

FRI. DEC. 1
C-USA Championship (@ Houston, TX)

Southern Miss over HOUSTON taking 4 1/2: While Vindicator elects to stay with his preseason choice to win Conference USA, he points out the Cougars squeaked past Rice in its opener and lost earlier this year at USM 31-27. The Eagles have rediscovered their offense of late after struggling in mid-season. Houston did nearly beat Miami on the road... Houston 31 Southern Miss 30

SAT. DEC. 2
#1 Ohio State:
IDLE (next: da’ BCS Title game)

#2 Southern Cal over UCLA giving 13 ½: Other than 5-point loss by UCLA in the 2004 version, Trojans have dominated this series in recent years by 20-30 points. Bruins come in off a bye and back-to-back wins before that (following a 4-game slide before THAT). UCLA’s only loss in six home games on the season was to Wazzou. Trojans could possibly afford a ho-hum win, but won’t settle for one...USC 38 Bruins 16

#3 Michigan: IDLE (next: da’ Bowls)

SEC Championship (@ Atlanta, GA)#8 Arkansas over #4 Florida taking 3: Gators still have a “snowball’s chance” at National Title game berth, but kickoff is around halftime of the USC-UCLA match and Florida might be busy watching the scoreboard. Gators don’t have the kind of D that LSU put on the field to beat Arkansas. Pigs bounce back. In Little Rock, First Lady Huckabee smiles and changes the Piggly-Wiggly brand batteries in her new clock...Oink Oink 19 Crocs 17

#5 LSU: IDLE (next: da’ Bowls)

#6 LOUISVILLE over Connecticut giving 27: Don’t know how the Huskies covered a mere 3 ½ point spread vs. Cincinnati. Scarlet Knight hangover by the ‘Kats maybe. UConn’s best weapon is the run. We saw what Louisville did to West Virginia’s much-ballyhooed ground game. Cards’ worst enemy will be the new clock rules...Louisville 48 Dogs 13

#7 Wisconsin: IDLE (next: da’ Capital One Bowl)

Big 12 Championship (@ Kansas City, MO)
#19 Nebraska over #9 Oklahoma taking 4:
Finally, a game that won’t result in body bags for one side or the other! In past years, that “one side” has been the representative from the North Division. Sooners are 6-1 ATS in the last 7. Big Red has gone 5-2 vs. the number. Vindy’s a slow learner. The North shall rise again...Nebraska 31 OK 29

#10 Boise State: IDLE (next: da’ Bowls)

#11 Auburn: IDLE (next: da’ Bowls)

#12 Notre Dame: IDLE (next: da’ Bowls)

#13 Rutgers over #15 WEST VIRGINIA taking 8: Mounties got whacked...at home...by an ever-improving South Florida Bulls team courtesy of four turnovers, while the Knights posted a basically-flawless victory over Syracuse. Five years ago, WVU hung 80 (count ‘em, 80!) on Rutgers. We’ll take the team with more to play for...holy crap!...a Big Least title for...Rutgers 31 ‘Eers 28

#14 Virginia Tech: IDLE (next: da’ Bowls)

ACC Championship (@ Jacksonville, FL)
#16 Wake Forest over #23 Georgia Tech taking 3:
Bees have won 3 of last 4 (2-2 ATS). Deacons continue amazing run without preseason-projected starting backfield. Jackets QB Reggie Ball had a bad game vs. Joja’, which means he’ll probably rock the house this week. Or not...Wake 14 Insects 10

#17 Texas: IDLE (next: da’ Bowls)

#18 Tennessee: IDLE (next: da’ Bowls)

#20 BYU: IDLE (next: da’ Las Vegas Bowl)

#21 CAL over Stanford giving 29: The Trees have dented the scoreboard for more than 10 points only twice all year, both times on the road. Off consecutive defeats, Bears get well for the post-season. Traditionally, the away team in this series has owned the spread. Not this time...Cal 41 Cardinal 3

#22 Texas A&M: IDLE (next: da’ Bowls)

Oregon State over #24 HAWAII taking 8: UPSET SPECIAL. ‘Bows Colt Brennan’s passing has been slicker than the NBA’s new micro-fiber ball and he should get the three touchdowns he needs to reach the NCAA single-season TD record. Hawaii has only two spread losses, both at home. This will be the best defense the Rainbow Warriors have faced since opening seven-point loss at ‘Bama...Oregon State 28 Aloha 24

#25 Boston College: IDLE (next da’ Bowls)

The rest of the field...

NEW MEXICO STATE over Louisiana Tech giving 10 ½: Aggies have the second-best passing attack behind only Hawaii. Not good news for a Weeziana Tech team that got outscored by aforementioned ‘Bows and Nevada-Reno 103-17 before beating Fresno last week...NMSU 31 La Tech 13

Air Force over TEXAS CHRISTIAN taking 16 1/2: The Best Little Horned-Toad House in Texas is already headed for the Poinsettia Bowl. Pilots should be ashamed of themselves for losing outright at UNLV. And as punishment, Vindicator will supervise early morning strafing runs on elementary schools in Little Egg Harbor, New Jersey on Saturday until Vindy gets tired! Nation’s third-best rushing offense meets the nation’s third-best rushing defense. Toads can also run the ball...Frogs 34 USAF 31

Army over Navy taking 20 ½: Middies are still good, but are shadows of teams past. Weber watched the Cadets march easily down the field on its opening possession against Air Force, then fold up like origami when they fumbled at the Pilots 2-yard line and yielded a 98-yard return for TD. Also in the back of Vindy’s mind is the Black Knights’ stalwart effort in 4-point loss to Texas A&M. Neither side throws the ball except for token plays. Should be a quick scrimmage that allows Army to stay within three touchdowns...Navy 24 Army 13

Louisiana-Monroe over LOUISIANA-LAFAYETTE taking 3: Nothing at stake here except braggin’ rights among the former directional-Weezianas. Lafayette has the better conference win-loss record, but has been actually been outscored by 6 total points against Sun Belt opponents. Cajuns finally won outright in ‘05 following three straight defeats at the hands of UL-Cornrow...Louisiana-French Guy 17 UL-Monroe 16

SAN JOSE STATE over Fresno State giving 4 ½: Nice to see perennial-WAC doormat-poster team San Jose State posting a 7-4 record....with only a pair of defensive starters returning from last year! Hats off to coach Dick Tomey, who should be nominated for Coach-of-da’-Year honors in this prognosticator’s humble opinion. Spartans have won 9 of last 13, going back to last year, and nearly dropped probably-Fiesta-bound Boise. The Bulldogs ...who might’ve beaten Oregon in previous years...and certainly would’ve defeated UDUB...continue to disappoint, bottoming out with earlier 13-12 loss to (GASP!) Utah State!...SJSU 30 Fres-not-no, but HELL-no! 20

Troy over FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL giving 12 1/2: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Panthers are winless...and will stay that way. With a victory, Troy ties Middle Tennessee for Sun Belt title, but goes to the New Orleans Bowl on basis of defeating MTSU just a week ago. Troy is only 2-3 ATS as chalk and has only one conference outright loss. FIU is 3-8 against the line and probably should’ve established one of those “exploratory committees” to determine if there was any interest in actually supporting it as a I-A football team...Trojans 31 FIU 10

Colorado State over SAN DIEGO STATE giving 3: Two NASA attempts from Pasadena to contact the Mars Global Surveyor failed this past week. Funny, coaches at San Diego State and Colorado State must be using the same equipment to reach their respective teams’ offenses. Rams are averaging 11 ppg over last five. Aztecs are lightin’ it up for 7 ppg over last pair...Rams 17 SDSU 10

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Shortly before the Longhorns were eliminated from the conference championship race, President Bush blasted Oklahoma, noting , “the Sooners should not be trusted to play well in a BCS bowl because they have no idea how to win in the Big 12 Title game!”

In local news, there is talk about scuttling the UNLV football program. Vindy and one of his co-workers decided the answer was not dissolution, but rather better scheduling. A few proposals for the non-conference slate...Duke, Florida International, Stanford, Temple, Utah State and after last Sunday’s 4th quarter collapse...the New York Giants! (Thanks for the idea, Ken!)

Around the horn...Philadelphia Mayor John Street called National League MVP Ryan Howard “Ron” several times in a speech commending the ballplayer last week. Ryan has likely never uttered the phrase “Sit on it, Potsie!”, but it would’ve perhaps been an appropriate response from the Phillies player after the third or fourth reference from His Honor to the wrong moniker!

SEASON RECAP:

Best Weekly Effort: The Sin City Soothsayer saved his best for last, logging a decent 10-5-2 record in Week 13!

Worst Weekly “Effort”: Weber’s Week 1 picks (5-14) were such a crime, Michigan high school cheerleaders turned them into a cheer so they could remember them long enough to report them to police!

WEBER-FRIENDLIES (Best percentage on the predicted side of the spread; minimum 7 at-bats in the forecast): This season’s “You’re in Good Hands” Award goes to...drum roll, please...the Boise State Broncos at 8-1(.889). Second place to Nebraska (8-2, .800) and a surprise Honorable Mention to the Injuns of Florida State (6-2, .750)! Combined, the aforementioned trio posted 22 forecast wins in 26 tries!

FLAME-THROWERS (Worst percentage on the predicted side of da’ spread): This year’s “Grillmaster Supreme” Award (the scorch marks are still on Weber’s wallet!) goes to those !!@&*$#! Frightenin’ Irish (3-9, .250...ironically, the pesky Leprechauns got “Honorable Mention” honors last season at 7-3!!!). “Suckin’ Place” to the Steers of Texas (3-8, .273) and “Dishonorable Mention” to (Holy Crap...a tie!) the Oregon Decoys and the Joja’ Tech Bees, both at 3-6 (.333).

“Locked in a Box?”: The Mormons went flat in mere two-point win over rival Utes to send the lock record down to 8-5!

Shoppe Talk: Wow! Da’ Irish and Da’ Longhorns both registered forecast dubyas (as opposed to Dubyas) in Week 13!

Vindy’s Championship Week Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3-1 Season: 31-28-3 (.525)
Last week’s bragging obviously caught up to our flustered forecaster. Army +20 ½ over Navy, NEW MEXICO STATE -10 ½ over Louisiana Tech

Vindicator takes his annual hiatus to change the points and plugs on the tea leaves, but fear not, loyal readers...the Weber Kid promises to return circa December 16 with his infamous bowl picks! Don’t touch that dial!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Vindy's Picks Week 13-2006


TEAM TIMEPIECE TOPS FIRST LADY’S WISH LIST

LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas (UPI)...
Friends close to Janet Huckabee, wife of the outbound Republican state governor, revealed to reporters that she wants the highly-coveted Razorbacks wall-clock that sounds the soooooeeeey-pig call on the hour as part of a "housewarming" gift upon moving into her new residence! The first lady has come under fire of late for the gift registry at Target and Dillard’s. No stranger to controversy as Governor Huckabee himself has been called to the carpet for previous ethics issues, an irritated First Lady shot back, saying "Question my morals, but don’t question my support for our team!" A spokesperson for the Governor’s office said, "Mrs. Huckabee has the right to know the time in any manner she chooses." An anonymous Target employee leaked information suggesting the registry also includes a monogrammed trough bearing the school logo!

Boy! Was that Vonage comparison last week timely or what????!!!! Our stupefied seer staggered to 6-11 (107-113-6, .486 season), taking four bad beats...two by a half-point, two by a single point each! Vindicator blames the faux pas on lack of concentration due to his invitation to the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes wedding! (By the way, Suri Cruise had the Hokies layin’ the points over Wake! Oh wait...that was Britney Spears’ baby!). Jacksonville Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio is 2-0 since sporting a suit on the sidelines. Hoping for similar results, the Weber Kid dusts off an old three-piece and publishes...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 13 FORECAST

THURS. NOV. 23
MIAMI over #18 Boston College taking 4:
Everything Thanksgiving, a big turkey receives a presidential pardon. Maybe Team Coral Gables should make a quick stop at the White House before hosting the Eagles...’Canes 18 BC 17

FRI. NOV. 24
#5 ARKANSAS over #9 Louisiana State (PK):
Two of the country’s best stop-squads face-off. Can’t see Houston Nutt letting the Razorbacks slack-off now they’re locked into the conference championship game. Bengals were Vindy’s preseason pick to take the SEC. Only two conference teams are allowed in the BCS bowls. A Tiger win would help, but they’ll need two losses from Florida or an Arkansas loss in the SEC title game. Looks like a punt-fest a la LSU-Auburn earlier this season....Pigs 10 LSU 6

Texas A&M over #11 TEXAS taking 13: Steers get their starting freshman-phenom trigger-man back, but it’s tough to argue with Aggies’ 6-0 spread-win run...Longhorns 27 A&M 21

#23 NEBRASKA over Colorado giving 15: Remember when both teams would be highly-ranked for this one and it meant something?! Maybe the Buffs need another controversy or scandal or something to instigate better play. "Paging Ms. Hnida...Ms. Katie Hnida to the white courtesy phone, please."...Big Red 31Bison 10

SAT. NOV. 25
#1 Ohio State:
IDLE (next Da’ National Championship Game!)

#2 Michigan: IDLE (next Da’ Bowls!)

#3 USC over #6 Notre Dame giving 7 1/2: Collective win-loss record of Trojans’ victims to-date: 57-44 (.564). Ditto for Irish victims: 53-59 (.473). Leprechauns’ one loss came at home to current-#2 Michigan. Troy’s only loss came by two at unranked Oregon State. USC ends the Buckeyes-Wolverines BCS rematch talk... USC 27 Irish 17

FLORIDA STATE over #4 Florida taking 9 1/2: Injuns have suffered very disappointing year that has cost OC Jeff Bowden his job and no doubt led to calls for his daddy’s resignation as head coach. Money’s coming in on the Gators, but we like the ‘Noles to give this game anything they have left...including a season’s worth of frustration .... because unlike previous tilts this season (after Miami opener), this match means something to State...Gators 16 Squaws 13

South Florida over #7 WEST VIRGINIA taking 20 ½: Bulls loss to Louisville gives Vin reason to pause on this pick..and it might well be a "wish I had it back" for that reason, but we like the Mounties to play conservatively with no chance at the BCS Championship and simply win out to get the Big Least crown and its accompanying BCS bowl ...’Eers 38 USF 17

#8 Louisville over PITT giving 12: Number’s somewhat lower than expected by this prophet. Mounties averaged nearly 10 yards per carry at Pitt. Things are all knotted up atop the Big East and Cards can take care of business by simply winning here, having already beaten West Virginia then hoping the Mounties can beat Rutgers next week... Red Birds 35 Panthers 13

#10 Wisconsin: IDLE (next: da’ Capital One Bowl)

NEVADA-RENO over #12 Boise State taking 2 1/2: Wolfpack can end Broncos undefeated season. BCS officials hope they will. Boise’s do-everything RB Ian Johnson will play while wearing a flak jacket over his ribs. A Fiesta bid is hanging in the balance for a non-Big Six conference team. Maybe next year...Reno 38 Boise 35

#13 Oklahoma over OKLAHOMA STATE giving 6: Adrian Peterson will not play. Taking a few liberties with a quote from "Flash Gordon"..." Professor Weber says the absence of the Sooners starting backfield ‘is no cause..for alarm’." Watch out for improving Cowpokes next season...OK 24 Cowboys 12

#14 Auburn: IDLE (next vs. Florida, SEC Championship)

Syracuse @ #15 RUTGERS: OFF

#16 Georgia Tech over GEORGIA taking 1 ½: At least the Bees know which quarterback will start (though they still don’t know what they’ll get from him!). Dawgs came out of the ashes to smash Auburn last week, but nothing else among their results on the season screams "Go with Joja’!"...Wreck 13 UGA 10

#17 VIRGINIA TECH over Virginia giving 17: Both teams have covered four of their last five coming in. Edge to the home team off the huge road victory at Wake Forest and having the much-better D...Tech 24 Cavs 3

#19 TENNESSEE over Kentucky giving 18 ½: Vindy has been off the Vols most of the season , but we think they can pound porous Wildcats’ defense that gave up 40 in near-loss to Weeziana-Monroe...Tennessee 41 Mildcats 17

#20 Wake Forest over MARYLAND taking 1: Terps have won 5 of last 6 games decided by less than a touchdown. Call Vindicator crazy, but we still prefer Wake’s rushing game and stout defense and we’re staying on the Demon Deacons despite meltdown at home against the Hokies...Deacons 17 Box Turtles 13

#21 Brigham Young over UTAH giving 11: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Coogs have 11 turnovers in 11 games. For the past few seasons, the Utes have been in the BCS chase, while the Mormons have been home in the post-season. This season, Utah’s still bowling, but revenge is sweet for...Cougars 35 Utes 16

#22 California: IDLE (next vs. Stanford 12/2)

South Carolina over #24 CLEMSON taking 5 1/2: UPSET SPECIAL OF DA’ WEEK. Brawl (won by Clemson 13-9) kept both sides from the post-season last year. Vindicator was wrong when he wrote off Gamecocks’ chances of an upset a few weeks ago. Promising season for the Tigers fizzled with back-to-losses earlier and the return to the rankings will be short-lived...SC 23 Clemson 20

Purdue over #25 HAWAII taking 17: The Islanders have trounced opponents by an average of 36 ppg, but Boilers have sufficient offensive weapons to make a track-meet outta’ this ...’Bows 48 Purdue 41

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

As the final scores rolled in during Week 12's bust, Vin did his best Charlie Brown impersonation, quipping, "Aaaaaagghhh! Every pick I touch gets ruined!"

In May, the maternal parents of the NBA’s LeBron James and Amare Stoudemire were sentenced the same day for previous DUI arrests. Apparently, they’re looking to start a new chapter of MADD...Mothers Advocating Drunk Driving (Alright, alright! Save the hate-mail for somebody who cares!)

The Buckeyes were called for a rare "roughing the center" on an early Michigan 4th-and-13 last week. Vindy hates those big, gaudy flower arrangements in the middle of the table and plans to get flagged for "roughing the centerpiece" during his Thanksgiving Day dinner!

Some donor nicknamed "Mattress Mack" is forcing University of North Texas to rename its stadium after recently-deposed HC Darrell Dickey to maintain the rather-sizable monetary gift he’s given the school. Can ya hear the broadcasters saying "Welcome to a perfect Fall afternoon as the Mean Green hosts Louisiana-Lafayette at the Dick"???!!!

"Locked in a Box?": Vindy posts his 3rd straight lock win on the strength of Broncos’ cover over Utah State to go to 8-4 (.667) on the year!

Shoppe Talk: Those !@&^$@!!* Leprechauns let Vindy down again, missing by a half-point over Army to go 2-9 for the forecast!

Vindy’s Week 13 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-1-1 Season: 30-25-2 (.545)
Air Force -10 1/2 over UNLV, New Mexico State -6 1/2 over UTAH STATE, Mississippi State +3 over OL’ MISS, BUFFALO +16 over Central Michigan, Cincinnati -3 ½ over UCONN

(If you’re keeping score at home, over the last three weeks, Vindicator’s "lock" picks and "best bets" have gone a combined 12-4-1 for a blazing 75% win rate!)

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Vindy's Picks Week 12-2006

FORECASTER’S FIGURE “WAXED” AT MUSEUM

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (CNN)...A wax figure of Sin City’s own college football forecaster, the Vegas Vindicator, was attacked and damaged by an unidentified patron at Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum yesterday. Video cameras captured the surprising assault on the figure and show the man charging the figure, knocking it to the ground and pummeling it with his fists before bolting out a fire exit. A facility spokesperson said most of the damage to the figure was sustained by the coins, dice, darts, Tarot cards and magic-ball that the real-life soothsayer uses to predict the weekly games. The aggression comes on the heels of a similar pre-Election Day defilement of the likeness of President Bush. Authorities have postulated theories that the incident is the work of a copycat, a jealous bookie seeking symbolic revenge for Weber’s 7-3 “best bet” record the past two weeks or a bettor fed up with losing money on Vindy’s regular Top 25 selections! Originally located in the museum among Gary Coleman, “Mini-Me”, Michael J. Fox and Richard Simmons, a rattled Weber Kid asked that his repaired wax statue be placed behind likenesses of the Wisconsin Badgers offensive line!

Vindy’s 13-8-1 tally for Week Eleven (101-102-6, .497) gives him hope and has our fearless forecaster hangin’ on to the prospect of finishing over .500 on the season tighter than former BoSox 1B Doug Mientkiewicz to the final out of the 2004 World Series as he presents...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 12 FORECAST
(Sponsored by Vonage...a couple of smart picks...among many, many stupid ones!)
THURS. NOV. 16
#8 West Virginia over PITT giving 10 1/2:
Panthers allowed UConn to run for 317 yards in double-overtime loss last week. Not a good omen when hosting one of the top ground games in the country this week. Vindy thanks the Mounties for allowing two fourth quarter TDs to Cincy, salvaging a push from the jaws of a forecast loss for Weber. In the Backyard Brawl, it’s...West Virginia 28 Pitt 14

SAT. NOV. 18
#2 Michigan over #1 OHIO STATE taking 6 1/2:
A story by the Associated Press recently revealed the Big Blue defensive backs bond by playing chess. Ironically, the Buckeyes do a little bonding themselves by playing “Rock ‘Em, Sock ‘Em Robots!” (If you’re a reader under 40-years-old, look it up on the ‘Net!). Potentially a great game. Not sure Big Blue can stop Troy Smith and the Bucks’ air game...OSU 20 Michigan 17

West Carolina @ #3 FLORIDA: No line.

#17 California over #4 USC taking 5 ½: Both teams have recently suffered shocking losses. Minus the ugly season-opening defeat to Tennessee, Bears had been on a mission and looked like the team to beat in thePAC-10. We still believe that’s the case...Cal 19 Trojans 16

#5 Arkansas over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 14 1/2: Average margin in Bulldogs’ games this season is 9 and less-than-5 over last 3. State comes in off the bye week. Vindy senses no letdown in charging Hogs though and expects this final to be closer to State’s 42-18 loss to West Virginia than its 34-31 loss to Kentucky...Arkansas 27 Mississippi State 3

#6 NOTRE DAME over Army giving 32 1/2: How in the world Army beat Kent State at home and Baylor on the road is still a mystery. Brady Quinn has reportedly been asked to star in a remake of “Win One for the Gipper”. Given Weber’s inability to correctly pick the Irish ATS, we’d simply ask him to “Win One (ATS) for the Vinder!” Catholics have covered against the other two academies, why not here?...Irish 48 Cadets 7

#7 Rutgers over CINCINNATI giving 7: Depending upon whose stats ya look at, Bearkats are either 6-1-2 or 7-1-1 ATS. Cincinnati turned it over four times in Morgantown and were down big early. Knights’ defense is certainly capable of forcing Bearkats into similar situation this week...Piscataway Paladins 27 Cincy 13

Mississippi over #9 LSU taking 27 1/2: Despite 3-7 SU record (including recent “W” over I-AA Northwestern State), Rebels are 3-1 ATS in their last 4 (maybe they didn’t like being embarrassed in an earlier publication of Vindy’s Picks!). Bengals are playing extremely well on defense and stuffed Kentucky’s offense altogether. We like the rested Rebels...Tigers 28 Ol’ Miss 7

South Florida over #10 LOUISVILLE taking 16 1/2: Oh sure. Allow the Knights to rally from early 18-point deficit. Where was that defense when Vindy was calling an outright West Virginia victory, hmmmmm?????!!! USF should’ve beaten Rutgers, but that was at home. Bulls did lose by 17 at Cincinnati...Birds 29 USF 22

#11 Texas: IDLE (next vs. Texas A&M 11/24)

#12 WISCONSIN over Buffalo giving 38: Vindicator watched the Badgers-Iowa game on the telly. The NCAA Cheese-Heads were fortunate to get by Iowa in the wake of un-Badger-like poor tackling and a blown officiating call that allowed Hawkeyes 1st TD drive to continue. Wisky breaks half-a-century here...Badgers 54 Buffalo 10

#13 BOISE STATE over Utah State giving 37: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. The latest issue of ESPN: Da’ Mag notes Broncos running back Ian Johnson crochets (shades of former Rams defensive star Rosie Greer!), plays trombone and wields a nifty pipe-wrench. And that’s just in the huddle! Finally, a team that Boise can clobber ATS...BSU51 USU 6

#14 WAKE FOREST over #19 Virginia Tech taking 1 1/2: With blowout (and shutout!) over the Injuns, Deacons posted their first-ever 9-win season. Weber is hard-pressed to go against streaking Wake squad, especially at home. Unless there’s a breakdown on Wake’s special teams...The Forest 24 Hokies 16

#15 Auburn over ALABAMA giving 3: Four picks and hobbling Kenny Irons helped create Auburn’s disaster vs. Joja’. Tide sporting a nice defense but miss Brody Croyle’s leadership on offense and Tigers are still far-and-away better on that side of the ball...Auburn 19 ‘Bama 10

#16 Oklahoma over BAYLOR giving 20: Vindy oscillated badly on this pick. Bears have dropped five straight against the line and are 3-7 ATS overall. Sooners haven’t had to spot this many since late September vs. Middle Tennessee. Baylor has allowed 152 points in its last three games, all outright losses...OK 38 Bears 14

Duke over #18 GEORGIA TECH taking 27: Nope. Vin just can’t bring himself to lay nearly 30 with Bees off very physical 7-0 win over the Tarheels and a Duke squad that’s 4-5 ATS. ‘Jackets only beat Samford 38-6...GT 38 Duke 12

#21 Maryland over #20 BOSTON COLLEGE taking 7: Eagles are perfect SU and ATS in four games at Chestnut Hill. Last seven matches for the Terps have been decided by an average of 3 points, with Box Turtles winnin’ six of ‘em outright...MD 17 BC 15

VANDERBILT over #22 Tennessee taking 8: Volunteers are in revenge mode for 2005 loss to Commodores that cost ‘em a bowl berth. Vandy’s record of very close conference games this year gets it Vindy’s nod... Tennessee 22 Admirals 17

#23 BYU over New Mexico giving 26: The only question here is how motivated the Coogs will be given a likely less-than-deserved berth in the Las Vegas Bowl, where they will probably get points vs. whatever PAC-10 also-ran they face. We’d maybe consider the Lobos in Albuquerque. We like the Mormons to name the score in final home appearance for seniors that have suffered mightily the previous three seasons...Cougars 44 New Mexico 13

#24 Nebraska: IDLE (next vs. Colorado 11/24)

#25 Clemson: IDLE (next vs. South Carolina)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

In news related to the lead story, witnesses noted the museum assailant bore a “striking resemblance” to Texas Tech hoops coach Bobby Knight! Eye-witness accounts have the unknown attacker jamming a finger under the figure’s chin in an effort to get the wax figure to look at him, yelling at the figure then getting frustrated and shoving it to the floor!

BTW, the Hurricanes player bond by challenging each other to ...Grand Theft Auto! (...they sometimes play the video game version too!!)

Columbus officials have asked three near-campus convenience stores to stop selling bottled domestic brews for the rest of the year so inebriated fans don’t hurl empties at one another. One official said something akin to “Our fans drink cheap beer so foreign ones aren’t an issue.” Well by golly, sounds like an opportunity to expand the fans’ cultural horizons by lowering prices on imports!

To reduce the incidence of rabies, the Chinese have implemented a “one dog policy”. Fine. Let’s offer the folks in Beijing...Duke, Temple or UNLV!!!

“Locked in a Box?”: Vindicator bumps up the record to 7-4 behind Wake Forest’s 30-0 trouncing of the Injuns.

Shoppe Talk: Steers and Irish both dig in at 2-8!

Vindy’s Week 12 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 28-24-1 (.538)
Nevada-Reno -20 over LA. TECH, Oklahoma State +6 over TEXAS TECH, East Carolina -2 ½ over RICE, SOUTH CAROLINA -15 1/2 over Middle Tennessee State

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Vindy's Picks Week 11-2006


FOUL MOUTH SENDS LEPRECHAUNS COACH INTO "ORBIT"

SOUTH BEND, Indiana (BBC)...A recently-aired "60 Minutes" interview that included reference to the vocabulary of Charlie Weis during profanity-laden sideline tirades has landed the Frightenin’ Irish coach a spot in a 30-second ad for Orbit gum. The coach’s language has not only embarrassed officials at Notre Dame, but has reportedly caused the Touchdown Jesus statue on campus to cover its ears and has become fodder for an episode of Comedy Central’s "South Park". Weis, a Garden State native who ironically got his degree in communications from the local Catholic university and taught English back home in New Jersey, appears in the spot alongside the British bombshell who asks the question, "Dirty mouth?!". He has also been rumored to have accepted a bit part in a future showing of the "Sopranos" on HBO! Reporters were unable to reach the coach for comment, but attempts to contact Weis by phone were met with an answering machine message that can’t printed!

Fresh off a 9-11 Week Ten (88-94-5, .483 season) and fired up after being called a "prognostication imbecile for not recognizing the University of Pyongpang as a Top 25 team" by the North Korean Foreign Ministry, Vindicator hopes to not post 100 losses before hitting the century mark in forecast wins this year and submits...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 11 FORECAST
(Caution: High Explosive Picks. This Side Toward Sportsbook!)

THURS. NOV. 9
#3 Louisville over #15 RUTGERS giving 6:
Cards made Miami’s vaunted defense (the one on the field, not the one in the court room) look terrible. Knights are #2 nationally in total D and 4th in passing D. They’ll need every inch and the strength of their own rushing attack to win. Louisville’s putting up 10 more ppg in conference play and allowing 7 more ppg in Big Least competition than Rutgers. Weber wants nothing more than a Knights victory, but apologizes to the all the fans at Exit 9B of the Jersey Turnpike and calls...Redbirds 34 NJ Paladins 24

Wyoming over #25 BYU taking 19 ½: Tough to go against a blazing Mormons team on a 5-0 ATS run playing at home. The Mountain Jest’s top total defense and top pass stoppers wander into Provo to face the conference’s #1 total offense and #1 passing game. Coogs will have to run effectively. They will...but not enough to beat the number ...BYU 24 Wyoming 17

SAT. NOV. 11
#1 Ohio State over NORTHWESTERN giving 23:
After scare from the Illini, Jim Tressel won’t mess around here and will put this outta’ reach early as State charges into Michigan game...Buckeyes 48 NW 10

#2 Michigan over INDIANA giving 19: Wolverines’ last match before probable BCS semi-final at Columbus on 11/18. Hoosiers were brought back to reality by shellacking at Minnesota last week. Lloyd Carr can’t afford to pull the A-team defense out early in this one. Out on a limb with Big Blue sucking as a double-digit fave...Michigan 38 Indy 13

#4 Texas over KANSAS STATE giving 17 1/2: With Louisville still having another opportunity or three to be upset, ‘Horns can still look for return to the BCS title game. Rocking the Wildcats would weigh in their favor. Texas would’ve beaten Oklahoma State by about 30 had the Cowpokes not managed an 89-yard kickoff return for TD... Steers 44 KSU 16

#5 AUBURN over Georgia giving 13: Collectively, the Tigers and Dawgs have a single spread win between ‘em in their last 13 tries! We’ll take Aubie, who at least has momentum over Joja’, who has lost four of five outright and appears to have quit on the season...Auburn 30 UGA 10

South Carolina over #6 FLORIDA taking 13 1/2: Arkansas staved off South Carolina behind a 200+ yards-rushing effort by RB Darren McFadden. Gators have no such ground weapon and are 1-5 in their last 6 ATS...Crocs 20 SC 17

#7 USC over #21 Oregon giving 7 ½: The straight up triumph by the Beavers has to provide the Mallards with some confidence, but bad defeats at Washington State and Cal suggest the Decoys aren’t quite ready...Troy 30 Quack Attack 21

ARIZONA over #8 California taking 13 ½: This is more of a nod to Arizona’s defense, which, minus trip to Baton Rouge in early September, has been pretty good all season. Bears have USC up next...Cal 21 AZ 10

AIR FORCE over #9 Notre Dame taking 11 ½: Including the 2006 win and cover over Navy, ND is only 3-4 ATS vs. the service academies (mostly the Middies and Flyboys) over the last few seasons. The Pilots are 1-2 ATS at home in the last 3. Catholics’ only spread win in the last six games was over Navy. Expect Bono, Ozzy Osbourne, Eric Cartman, Pitt QB Tyler Palko and fellow-Orbit alum Snoop Dogg to become assistant coaches under Mr. Weis in 2007!... Leprechauns 28 USAF 24

Cincinnati over #10 WEST VIRGINIA taking 18: Before the loss to Louisville, WVU coach Rodriguez said something akin to "there might be some fans who wanna’ toss me off the Westover Bridge (in Morgantown), but I’m not jumpin’ off." Upon further review of game-film, looks like Coach was sporting a bungee cord under his clothes when he got off the bus in West Virginia...Mounties 27 Bearkats 13

#11 ARKANSAS over #13 Tennessee giving 5 1/2: Razorbacks didn’t lose any steam behind back-up QB Casey Dick last week. He’ll start this one too as freshman QB Mustain grabs a little pine, at least at kickoff. Vols might be flat now that they’re outta’ the race for the SEC East...Hogs 27 Tennessee 20

#12 LSU over Alabama giving 17: Two great defenses go toe-to-toe down on the Bayou. This could easily be a 12-9 affair, but Bengals offense will far exceed that of ‘Bama. Alabammy hasn’t been limited to single-digits yet. Of Tide’s 16 points last week, 7 came via an interception returned for touchdown. In light of a Bronx Zoo research study showing elephants recognize themselves in mirrors and use the mirrors to explore hidden parts of themselves, State plans to stock the visitors’ sidelines with reflective glass...LSU 27 ‘Bama 6

SAN JOSE STATE over #14 Boise State taking 13 ½: Broncos have covered only one of four away from the azure home-field. If Spartans can grab the straight up win here, their only likely remaining loss would be at Hawaii. Boise spreads have been droppin’ like Olympic coverage TV ratings. The outright SJSU victory wouldn’t shock this prophet...Potato-Mashers 41 No Longer San Josie State & Da’ Pussycats 33

#16 Wisconsin over IOWA (PK): Badgers starting QB Stocco is out. UW intentionally ran offside on consecutive kickoffs to run out the 1st half clock vs. Penn State and JoPa took a helmet in the knee from a Wisky defender that did Jeff Golooly proud! Maybe the Badgers have a similar plan for Hayden Frye and his boys! We’ll still side with huge Wisconsin linemen over disappointing Hawkeyes...Badgers 17 Iowa 9

#17 OKLAHOMA over Texas Tech giving 9: Red Raiders’ 5-4 spread record reflects the inconsistency of this Tech squad. Will it be the one that scored 31 in road win at College Station over A&M or the one that posted all of two FGs in 30-6 loss at now 1-9 Colorado?...Sooners 31 Tech 20

#18 Wake Forest over FLORIDA STATE taking 7 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Hmmm... destruction of Virginia squad that wasn’t expected to do much anyway notwithstanding, why do the Injuns continue to lay points. Deacons looking like class of the ACC...Wake 24 ‘Noles 21

North Carolina over #19 GEORGIA TECH taking 13 ½: ‘Heels on 2-0 ATS run following 0-5-1 start. If Vin backs da’ Bees, he knows Reggie Ball will have one those four-interception games. Gotta’ take the points...GT 20 UNC 9

Kent State over #20 VIRGINIA TECH taking 28 1/2: Surprising Flashes were averaging 32 ppg during a five-game win streak before backsliding to 6.5 ppg in two straight defeats to Ohio and Buffalo! Weather in Blacksburg might force Hokies to throw a shutout to cover...Tech 27 Kent State 3

#22 BOSTON COLLEGE over Duke giving 28: In July, Duke QB Zack Asack was suspended for plagiarism. Wouldn’t have been a problem if he’d been copying Vince Young or Matt Leinart! Devils get confused and break the offensive huddle with five guys and a round, orange ball right about this time of the year...BC 38 Blue Devils 0

#23 MARYLAND over Miami giving 3: Vindicator originally asked John Kerry to tell a joke about the Hurricanes in this spot, but eventually backed out, fearing the political figure would botch the punch-line...Terps 23 ‘Canes 16

Nebraska over #24 TEXAS A&M (PK): Huskers have made too much progress this year to falter against improving Aggies...Nebraska 19 A&M 16

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

The headline of an April 12 AP story read..."Bush knew trailers weren’t WMD proof". The Bush administration claimed trailers captured soon after the fall of Baghdad proved Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, even though US intelligence officials had strong evidence that was not the case. (And boy, was John Madden pissed! He STILL hasn’t gotten his Player of the Game pictures back!)

Bengals WR Chad Johnson was fined $5K for placing a "Ocho Cinco" tag on his jersey and having Carson Palmer yank it off in front of cameras just before kickoff of Cincy’s loss to Atlanta. Not to be outdone, the Weber Kid will have former Lions QB Todd Blackledge rip off "Mas Tequila" from his own jersey to reveal "Vindicator!" at whatever post-season venue Penn State lands in!

In January 2007, former NFL Commish Paul Tagliabue will receive college sports’ top award, the "Teddy". Now...while Vindicator is all for Title IX and stuff, he really doesn’t want to know what the 65-year-old Tags is gonna’ do with a piece of racy lingerie! Kind of an odd choice in this forecaster’s humble opinion for the NCAA to use to bestow an honor, but...hey...what’s the Weber Kid know???!!! (Can’t wait to see that puppy hangin’ in Tagliabue’s trophy case!!!)

"Locked in a Box?": Vin goes to 6-4 (.600) behind Razorbacks cover over South Carolina (barely!)

Shoppe Talk: Texas is just beggin’ to be the main course for a BBQ at 2-7. The Irish get a week off, but hang around at 2-6. The Sooners are back in the Shoppe at 2-6-1and the Ducks are quickly lining up in the shooting gallery at 2-6.

Vindy’s Week 11 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-1 Season: 25-22-1 (.531)
SAN DIEGO STATE -7 ½ over unlv, Rice +14 over TULSA, Iowa State +8 ½ over COLORADO, New Mexico State +11 ½ over FRESNO STATE, Washington State -1 ½ over ARIZONA STATE

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Vindy's Picks Week 10-2006


COACHES TRADING "ELMO" FOR VOTES

NEW YORK, New York (Reuters)..."Sold out" signs confront average consumers across the nation as coaches, from Berkeley to Boston and Ann Arbor to Austin, vying desperately to get their teams to the big money bowls have raided toy stores and bought up dozens of TMX Elmos to use as leverage with other coaches and pollsters casting BCS votes. Even those seeking to exploit buyers and scalp the highly-coveted dolls that once simply vibrated and laughed ,but now roll on the floor slamming its fists on the ground and beg the ticklers to stop, on E-Bay are finding limited quantities and are crying "personal foul" and "unsportsmanlike conduct". While not exactly "capitalism at its best", it does suggest a disturbing trend that some schools are willing to pull out all the stops to get bids to high-dollar bowls. Made by Fischer-Price and Mattel at an approximate MSRP of $40 per doll, even the athletic budgets of Sun Belt institutions will support such practices!

Holy crap! Can ya believe we’re already into Week 10!!!! The dogs finally had their breakout ATS week, covering 12 of the 18, sending Weber to 7-11 and 79-83-5 (.487) on the year...

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 10 FORECAST

WED. NOV. 1
Fresno State over #14 BOISE STATE taking 26 1/2:
Broncos are 3-1 ATS in their last 4 and have revenge factor for ‘05 27-7 loss to the Bulldogs. Don’t know what happened this season to "anybody, anywhere, anytime", but they’re lookin’ more like Team "Henny Youngman". If defending WAC champ Fresno has any pride and any motivation left at all, it shows up now... BSU 45 Fresno 23

THURS. NOV. 2
#3 West Virginia over #5 LOUISVILLE taking 1 1/2:
Cards lost two wide-outs for this, but those "pass-catchers" were insignificant in the big scheme to the team effort anyhow. Can’t contest the chalk status for Louisville at home, particularly in light of how bad it made Miami look. Mounties come in with their starting backfield intact. Redbirds don’t. Dogs have covered 9 of the 13 non-Saturday games thus far this season, including 8 of the last 10 (pending the Broncos-Bulldogs result)...’Eers 20 Sluggers 17

SAT. NOV. 4
#1 Ohio State over ILLINOIS giving 26 ½:
No question, freshman QB "Juice" Williams has given UI a much-need lift, leading them to consecutive conference road ATS wins over Penn State and Wisconsin. Still...we can’t go against Buckeyes laying four touchdowns against lower-tier Big Ten club...OSU 45 Illini 12

#2 MICHIGAN over Ball State giving 34: Wolverines haven’t beaten anybody this season by this many. Cardinals 5-3 ATS but haven’t faced a defense like this...Big Blue 45 BSU 6

Oklahoma State taking #4 TEXAS taking 17: ‘Horns are 4th in the AP but still have ground to make up at #7 in the BCS. They’ll need a decisive win this week to stay close. Have to wonder how long Cowpokes can hold the pace that got ‘em near win in OT over A&M and upset win over Nebraska...Texas 34 Oklahoma State 20

#6 AUBURN over Arkansas State giving 31: Indians are a better team than they showed in 29-0 loss at Florida Atlantic and want to prove that. Unfortunately, Auburn fought for its life at Ol’ Miss last week and will flex a little muscle this weekend...Tigers 47 ASU 7

VANDERBILT over #7 Florida taking 15 ½: Major money’s coming in on the ‘Dores, who are 1-2 ATS at home this year and that speaks to not a lot of confidence in the Gators, who’ve gone 1-5 against the number in their last 6. Florida sports a top-flight defense. Van-Dee ain’t bad either...Crocs 20 Admirals 10

#13 Louisiana State over #8 TENNESSEE giving 3: Bengals want a chance to make up for letting Auburn off the hook in a great defensive battle a few weeks back. Edge on D definitely goes to LSU (allowing 8.3 ppg, second behind only the Buckeyes) as opposed to the Vols (allowing decent, but not great 19.1 ppg). Vols QB Ainge nursing a bad ankle...Tigers 24 Tennessee 13

#9 Southern Cal over STANFORD giving 29: This pick is worthy of "lock" status. After last week’s outright defeat at Oregon State, do ya really think Troy won’t be motivated to absolutely decimate a Stanford team that quit weeks ago??!! It was USC 51-21 last year. Cardinal is 1-7 ATS...Trojans 48 Stanford 9

#10 CAL over Ucla giving 17: Bears have already avenged two of its four losses from ‘05, whacking the Ducks by three touchdowns and holding a solid Wazzou offense to a FG at Pullman. Cal puts away the Bruins big then zeroes in on the remaining offender, USC...Bears 31 Bruins 7

North Carolina over #11 NOTRE DAME taking 28: Leprechauns are 1-4 against the number in South Bend. Tarheels became the final I-A team to snag a spread win last week and gave Wake Forest fits while doing it... Irish 31 UNC 10

#12 Arkansas over SOUTH CAROLINA giving 3: "LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. At worst, this is a push. Gamecocks had their one chance to pull a major upset...and failed. Hogs’ 5th-ranked rushing offense should grind out the adequate victory. More visor-throwin’ for the Ol’ Ball Coach...Pigs 21 SC 10

#15 Rutgers: IDLE (next vs. Louisville 11/9)

#16 Boston College over #22 WAKE FOREST giving 4: BC has been in five games decided by a touchdown or les, including three by five points or fewer. Eagles have beaten better teams than Wake has en route to their identical 7-1 SU records. Deacons were +3 in turnovers and still failed to score on North Carolina over the final 12 minutes of a tight ball game. BC is #11 in the nation vs. the run, Wake’s first choice on offense...BC 24 Wake 17

#17 WISCONSIN over Penn State giving 6 1/2: Oh the shame! Both sides own wins against the same four lower-tier conference squads and both lost to Michigan. State’s miscues cost ‘em against Wolverines and Buckeyes. Badgers boast the better margin of victory over the common foes. Vindy’s heart says "Lions". Vindy’s head says "Wake up and smell the Joe... Paterno!"...Wisky 20 PSU 10

#18 Oklahoma over #21 TEXAS A&M giving 3: Sooners can tie the Aggies for lead in the Big 12 South with the victory. Again, we point out quality-of-opponent discrepancies between A&M’s wins and Oklahoma’s wins. Sooners are recovering nicely since defeat by Texas...OK 27 A&M 20

Maryland over #19 CLEMSON taking 16: Terps carry three-game straight-up win-streak (2-1 ATS) into Death Valley, where the Tigers routinely crush the opposition. U.S. and Russian scientists recently discovered the heaviest known element. They’re calling it... Friedgenium?...Clemson 28 Box Turtles 14

NC STATE over #20 Georgia Tech taking 6: Wolfpack needs to take three of its final four to be post-season eligible. Bees are already there and are jockeying for position now. State’s already pulled off a couple big upsets in Raleigh...Wreck 17 NCSU 14

#23 Virginia Tech over MIAMI giving 2: For that special Hurricanes fan on your Christmas list..."Shackle Me, Elmo". Just squeeze his hand and he’s swings his helmet while talking smack about Florida International!...Hokies 17 ‘Canes 13

Washington over #24 OREGON taking 13 ½: Back-to-back OT losses might just cause Huskies to close up shop. Ducks’ last visit from an Apple State team was a pleasant one, ending in 34-23 loss to the Cougars. Mallards are #5 in total offense, but don’t make the top 10 in rushing or passing, suggesting solid balance... Decoys 35 Dogs 24

#25 WASHINGTON STATE over Arizona giving 16 ½: Can Wildcats’ D cover up for its anemic partners on offense and keep AZ close enough to cover on the road. Arizona’s best output was 28 points against mighty Stephen F. Austin...WSU 27 UA 7

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Soon to hit the holiday shelves..."Tackle Me, Elmo"- comes with pads and helmet. Hit him outta’ bounds, hit him late, drive him into the turf, spear him helmet-to-helmet...and not get flagged!

The BBC revealed last week the name of the offspring of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline to be Jayden James Federline. Damn...Vin was hopin’ for "Nittany Spears"!

Charles Barkley is running for governor of his home state, Alabama, under the slogan, "Everyone’s chicken in my pot." Funny... Ricky Williams, born in San Diego, is running for governor of California...on the platform of "A little pot with every chicken!"

Virtually winless on NFL bets this season, Vindy has converted to the Church of Latter Day New Orleans Saints!

In August, the 70-year-old father of Republican Senator Norm Coleman was arrested in Minnesota for having sex with a 38-year-old woman in a public place. Jay Leno called dad a Democrat. Vindy just calls him...a Viking!

Danny "Little Tark" Tarkanian, son of former Rebels coach Jerry, is running for State Secretary of State in Nevada (insert your own vote-shaving scandal joke here).

Fidel Castro appeared on CSPN (The Communist World Leader in Sports!) this week to announce he’s off the DL and has returned to the practice field, participating in no-contact drills and noting he will continue to provide input on government matters from the sidelines!

"Locked in a Box?": The Middies went down with the ship to sink the lock tally to 5-4 off the coast of Baltimore, where it’ll make a lovely artificial reef!

Shoppe Talk: Irish look ready to accept "Grill-Master Supreme" honors this post-season at 1-7. The Steers return at 2-6. The Sooners are OK after the forecast win this past weekend.

Vindy’s Week 10 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-2 Season: 21-21-1 (.500)
Kansas (PK) over IOWA STATE, TEMPLE +18 1/2 over Central Michigan, Hawaii -28 over UTAH STATE, WESTERN MICHIGAN -10 ½ over Miami-Ohio, East Carolina -6 over CENTRAL FLORIDA

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Vindy's Picks Week 10-2006 Wednesday Nighter

WED. NOV. 1
Fresno State over #14 BOISE STATE taking 26 1/2:
Broncos are 3-1 ATS in their last 4 and have revenge factor for ‘05 27-7 loss to the Bulldogs. Don’t know what happened this season to "anybody, anywhere, anytime", but they’re lookin’ more like Team "Henny Youngman". If defending WAC champ Fresno has any pride and any motivation left at all, it shows up now... BSU 45 Fresno 23

Stay tuned to this spot for the rest of Week Ten's prognostications in it's entirety in it's usual Wednesday night spot!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Vindy's Picks Week 9-2006

DUCKS INSPIRE WAL-MART TO LOSE THE "BLUES"

EUGENE, Oregon (MSNBC)...Discount retail giant Wal-Mart announced this week it was putting its traditional blue vests in mothballs and its employees will now be sporting any of a number of combinations of green polo shirts and khaki pants. Consulting the local university sports uniform designer, Wal-Mart will retire its old look in favor of a more modern image that would reportedly meet with the approval of late Wal-Mart founder, Sam Walton. "Sam was a big fan." said one spokesperson. Combinations will include home-store colors, specific combinations for visiting other Wal-Mart outlets, even special designs for Super Wal-Marts and for visiting competitors’ retail shops! Company representatives noted the blue unis will be brought out periodically to commemorate anniversaries and other events with "Throw-Back Vest" Day. Options with or without the yellow Smiley Face add even more possible attire combinations to the arsenal. Higher-ups are also gradually replacing its familiar catch-phrase "How may I help you?" with "What up, Dawg?!" on the back of the shirts. CEO Lee Scott stated "Wally World is changing with the times" and is about to "get its Oregon on"!

Our fearless forecaster posted his second straight 12-7-1 outing for Week 8 to finally reach the Mendoza Line at 72-72-5 (.500) and tries to get back in black with....

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 9 FORECAST

THURS. OCT. 26
#10 Clemson over VIRGINIA TECH giving 4:
For most teams, Blacksburg,, especially this time of year, is an intimidating venue to play in. Tigers, however, seem to be right comfortable, winning 7 of last 10 here. Hokies are 9-4 ATS in their last 13 at home games...Clemson 17 Tech 10

SAT. OCT. 28
#1 OHIO STATE over Minnesota giving 27:
Gophers won 10-9 over North Dakota State???????!!!! Gerbils had only 4 penalties, yielded only a pair of sacks and did not turn the ball over. They did miss two FGs and the game ended with NDSU driving deep into Minny territory. Only the Chippewas cover the number this year better than the Buckeyes ...OSU 45 Gophers 13

Northwestern over #2 MICHIGAN taking 34: The lines-makers just might be catching up to Big Blue again following a five-game ATS tear. Wolverines haven’t posted a spread loss since September 9th and are laying their biggest number of the season. Wildcats haven’t been shutout all year and it could happen in this spot. Then again... Michigan 35 NW 9

OREGON STATE over #3 Southern Cal taking 12 1/2: Troy’s last three victories have been by 6, 7 and 6 en route to a four-game ATS loss streak against PAC-10 foes. Did Matt Leinart’s dad finally stop paying for Dwayne Jarrett’s apartment or what?...USC 23 Beavers 16

#4 West Virginia: IDLE (next @ Louisville 11/2)

#5 Texas over TEXAS TECH giving 12: Maybe the long scoring passes of 63- and 49-yards by Nebraska last week give the Raiders hope. Tech has been crushed in three of the last five vs. the ‘Horns, including the ‘04 and ‘05 tilts... Steers 35 Tech 17

#6 Louisville: IDLE (next vs. West Virginia 11/2)

MISSISSIPPI over #7 Auburn taking 18: Since being derided by Vindicator for an ATS losing streak dating back to last season, Ol’ Missed has ripped off three straight covers while beating Vandy and nearly overturning Joja’ and ‘Bama. UM, however, looked like same old Rebels last week. Tigers are only .500 vs. the line. A not-real-comfortable vote to....Auburn 24 Mississippi 12

SOUTH CAROLINA over #8 Tennessee taking 5: If Spurrier’s Gamecocks are going to jump up and bite somebody important this season, this is the spot. Vols are short their leading rusher...South Carolina 23 Rocky Top 20

Georgia over #9 Florida (at Jacksonville) taking 14: Forget the ‘Dawgs’ loss to the Commodores. Joja’ can tie the Gators for top spot in the SEC East with a win. Florida should’ve lost at Tennessee and the remaining conference victories came at the Swamp...Florida 17 UGA 13

NAVY over #11 Notre Dame taking 14: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Vindicator ignores 34-0 whitewash of the Middies two weeks ago by Rutgers. Boat People cover about 75% against the Irish, including 4 of last 5. Here’s hopin’ Navy snares its first outright triumph in 43 tries against the Catholics...Ensigns 24 Golden Domers 23

#12 California: IDLE (next vs. UCLA)

#13 ARKANSAS over Louisiana-Monroe giving 37: Warhawks are playing respectably (albeit in losing efforts) against fellow Sun Belt competitors, but just find something else to watch if this one gets televised (maybe there’s even something better than this on ABC! [See Between the Hashmarks later in this forecast])...Razorbacks 48 UL-M 7

#14 LSU: IDLE (next @ Tennessee)

#15 Boise State: IDLE (next vs. Fresno State 11/1)

#17 WISCONSIN over Illinois giving 21: Voters in Panama just approved a widening of the canal locks to allow bigger ships to pass through by 2015. Maybe the Illini can pass a similar plan for its offensive line...Badgers 27 Illinois 0

Buffalo over #18 BOSTON COLLEGE taking 36: The Bulls caught Auburn in a sandwich spot too earlier this season and covered. We like ‘em to do that with the Eagles between last week’s FSU tilt and trip to Wake Forest on deck...BC 34 Buffalo 7

#19 Oklahoma over #23 MISSOURI taking 2 ½: If ya don’t count Red River "neutral site" game, this is only the second road trip of the year for the Sooners. The subs seem to be filling in adequately for lost OK stars. Mizzou gave up 10 more points to Colorado than Sooners did...Oklahoma 24 MU 23

#20 Nebraska over OKLAHOMA STATE giving 5 ½: Vindy was a big Cowpoke backer early in the season. State hasn’t shown a tendency to win the close ones of late though. Expect a flat Big Red squad to sleepwalk thru the first half, then put the Cowboys away in the final 30 minutes...Nebraska 23 OKSU 7

#21 GEORGIA TECH over Miami giving 6: A Pennsylvania high school student was mocked by a teacher who made him take his midterm exam on the classroom floor for wearing a John Elway jersey. Vindicator can think of a few jerseys truly worthy of humiliation, like Ron Artest, Lawrence Phillips, Maurice Clarett, John Rocker and... if Weber had his own jersey, well.....! Oh....and...uh...any shirt from this year’s The U....Bees 27 Hurri-Cons 16

BAYLOR over #22 Texas A&M taking 4 1/2: Oh!...did the Aggies finally decide to try to save Coach Fran’s job???!! A&M has been living on the edge and has burned Vindy in both of two chances in the picks. Turnovers forced the Bears to rally from 17-point halftime hole vs. Kansas...Bayluh 28 Aggies 24

#24 Wake Forest over NORTH CAROLINA giving 9: This pick got serious "lock" consideration. With Weeziana Tech, Fresno, Marshall and San Diego State finally picking up their first ATS wins last weekend, the only squad without a cover thus far is...North Carolina! Ain’t happenin’ this Saturday either!...Deacons 23 Tarheels 7

Portland State @ #25 OREGON: No line.

SUN. OCT. 29
#16 RUTGERS over Connecticut giving 18 ½:
Huskies only two covers came via straight-up wins over Indiana and Army. Staying with hot New Brunswick Bombers...Rutgers 33 UConn 10

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

The North Dakota State Bison’s 6-1 record, by the way, is good for THIRD PLACE in the I-AA Great West Conference!

Charged with attempted murder, former Northern Colorado back-up punter Mitchell Cozad was released this week on $500,000 bail. Cozad initially thought he’d be unable to come up with that kinda’ moola and offered up his personal protector as collateral. He later told the judge he changed his mind and would "take a stab at raising the money!" His lawyer unsuccessfully argued Cozad was not a flight risk due to having mob ties to the community!

This summer, Randy Moss became VP of Marketing of a fruit juice/smoothies company. Vin has a few flavor suggestions for the menu..."Top Banana", "Sour Grapes", "Melon Head" and "Malcontent Mango". Just give this PSU alum a "Peachy Paterno" from the Penn State Creamery, okay????!!!!

A local Sin City writer recently lamented the essential wussification of ABC programming, noting such unmanly shows as Dancing With the Stars, Wife Swap (sorry...it ain’t about that!) and Alias. Vindy has six words to put the All Boys Channel back in ABC..."End Zone Dancing with the Stars!"

Just in time for the World Series....a new game show: "Steal or No Steal"- contestants decide whether or not to swipe bases, possibly containing lotsa’ cash, up to $1M!

"Locked in a Box?": The ‘Eers bring home Vindicator’s 5th lock win against 3 losses with a good cover over UConn.

Shoppe Talk: The Irish are back at 1-6. The Decoys make the Shoppe menu with 5 losses in last 6 appearances... and the Sooners better circle da’ wagons at 1-5-1!

Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-3 Season: 18-19-1 (.486)
Arkansas State -8 over FLORIDA ATLANTIC, Idaho +25 over HAWAII, Washington State +1 over UCLA, Eastern Michigan +15 ½ over WESTERN MICHIGAN, Tulane -5 over ARMY

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Vindy's Picks Week 8-2006


COLLEGE PIGSKIN GETS TEACHER TOSSED

FRISCO, Texas (ITAR-Tass)...A fifth-grade teacher was benched for the rest of the academic year here by the local school district recently over a art museum field trip gone awry. Sydney McGee got the boot because her students were exposed to nude portraits while visiting the Dallas Museum of Art. The curator said he told McGee during coordination of the excursion, there would be "nudes on display". The teacher said she heard the museum representative say there would be "Utes on display". McGee claimed she thought it was "a little odd that Picasso works featuring players from Provo would make their way into Horned Toads territory", but admitted she "fantasized about possibly winning a National Teachers Association award or even a Nobel Peace Prize in education for expanding her students’ cultural horizons" during the outing. The exiled educator audibly mused to herself before leaving the interview, "Gee, those football players sure look different without their clothes on."

After a couple sub-par efforts, Vindicator "manned up", got two Thursday night forecast wins and went on to post a 12-7-1 Week Seven, bringing the season numbers to 60-65-4 (.480).

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 8 FORECAST

FRI. OCT. 20
#4 West Virginia over UCONN giving 22: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK.
A slow start and an improving Syracuse defense cost the Mounties last week’s cover. In light of recent wins for Indiana, UConn’s early season triumph over the Hoosiers looks more impressive than it really is...’Eers 45 Huskies 16

SAT. OCT. 21
#1 OHIO STATE over Indiana giving 31 1/2:
Yeah, OK...Indy’s strung together consecutive Big Ten victories. Just can’t get by that loss to I-AA Southern Illinois a couple weeks back though. Buckeyes haven’t broken into the 40's yet. They will here...OSU 47 Indiana 9

#2 MICHIGAN over Iowa giving 13: Wolverines continue to chug slowly-but-steadily toward showdown with Ohio State. Hawkeyes’ season is quickly coming apart, with two losses in last three games...Big Blue 30 Iowa 13

#3 USC: IDLE (next @ Oregon State)

#17 NEBRASKA over #5 Texas taking 6 ½: Yeah, yeah, yeah....the Longhorns-Sooners game was supposed to be close too! The defenses on both sides have been pushed around a bit in bigger games against the better foes on their respective schedules. We like that trend to continue...Nebraska 29 Texas 27

SYRACUSE over #6 Louisville taking 17: For a few fleeting moments, the Weber Kid contemplated an upset here. If Vindy was coaching Louisville, he probably wouldn’t have risked bringing starting QB Brohm back as early as last week from injury with his replacement playing well enough to keep the Redbirds undefeated. Maybe a couple tilts at game-speed before West Virginia will be beneficial (unless he re-injures the knee!)...Louisville 31 ‘Cuse 24

Alabama over #7 TENNESSEE taking 11 1/2: UPSET OF DA’ WEEK. Vin couldn’t pull the upset trigger just one pick prior, but does so here. Tide’s 2-0 ATS on the road and was a dog in both instances. Wonder if the trash-talk about illegal recruiting practices will start up again like it did this time last season...’Bama 19 UT 17

#8 AUBURN over Tulane giving 32: Last week’s 27-17 over Florida is deceiving as the game was not nearly close with the Tigers running roughshod over the Gators. Aubie just might be the Denver Broncos East, having scored no offensive touchdowns in its last eleven quarters....Auburn 48 Wave 10

#9 Florida: IDLE (next vs. Joja’)

#10 NOTRE DAME over Ucla giving 13 1/2: Vindy hasn’t been this excited since George Bush gave German Chancellor Angela Merkel a spur-of-da’-moment back-rub that found its way on video to the Internet! Bruins are 1-3 in last 4 ATS. Irish not much better at 3-3, but had a week off...Leprechauns 34 UCLA 17

#11 CAL over Washington giving 23: Huskies were plus-3 in turnover ratio and still lost by 10 to the Beavers...AT HOME!...Bears 44 UDumb 17

#13 Georgia Tech over #12 CLEMSON taking 8: Bees got an extra week to prepare while Clemson might get conservative with trip to Virginia Tech a mere five days following this game. Tigers only spread loss came in OT defeat by Boston College...Clemson 28 Joja’ Tech 24

#14 LSU over Fresno State giving 32: Despite a preseason vote from Vindy to take the WAC title again, this year’s version of the Bulldogs certainly hasn’t panned out any better than previous LSU victims Kentucky and Mississippi State...Bengals 45 Fresno 9

#15 ARKANSAS over Mississippi giving 17: Rebels have certainly awakened as of late. Sooey Pigs however have got an even-better rushing game than the one Wake Forest used to whack Ol’ Miss 27-3...’Backs 31 Mississippi 6

#16 Oregon over WASHINGTON STATE giving 4: Both sides will air out frequently. Decoys can defend the pass as well and have a decent edge on the ground...Ducks 34 Coogs 24

IDAHO over #18 Boise State taking 20 1/2: Dennis Erickson might just have enough up his sleeve to make this interesting at home as the Vandals march toward bowl-eligibility with two more wins and first possible post-season berth since 1998....Broncos 35 Idaho 24

#19 Rutgers over PITT taking 6: Knights won it last year and are a hot team right now. Rutgers sports the top pass D in the Big East and 4th best air defense nationally...The Garden State 23 The Keystone State 20

Colorado over #20 OKLAHOMA taking 12 ½: Sooners now down not only a starting quarterback, but also a Heisman Trophy-candidate starting running back. Loss of Adrian Peterson might force Okies to throw more than they’d like here. Bison are sluggish on offense, averaging less than 16 ppg, but the D grabbed three picks last week to smoke Texas Tech...OK 24 Buffaloes 13

#21 Wisconsin over PURDUE giving 4 ½: Badger band is on probation for hazing that involved alcohol and dancing in various states of undress during the bus ride from the Michigan game. If the band suspensions keep up at this pace, the halftime shows will consist of recorded music blaring from boom boxes atop remote-control cars doing choreographed moves up-and-down the field! Still ridin’ Wisky...Badgers 27 Boilers 13

#22 Boston College over FLORIDA STATE taking 5: The Injuns just seem unfocused. Even their 27-point win at Duke was sloppy at best, particularly on special teams. Eagles outright at Doak Campbell...BC 27 FSU 24

OKLAHOMA STATE over #23 Texas A&M giving 2: Cowpokes are 10th in the country in total offense (admittedly, the numbers were bolstered by a weak early schedule). Aggies beat Missouri with three Tigers fumbles...Okie State 34 A&M 27

#24 MISSOURI over Kansas State giving 16 ½: Wildcats will pay the price for aforementioned mistakes by Mizzou...Missouri 34 K-State 10

#25 Wake Forest: IDLE (next @ North Carolina)

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Stanford’s getting so desperate for a win, it’s considering trading a missile that works to North Korea for the chance to play the University of Pyongpang! In a related story, coaches at Temple held a news conference recently to announce they’d tested an underground nuke beneath the Philadelphia Museum of Art to make someone in the NCAA take them seriously (or to at least get Sly Stallone to come attend a game!)

Vindicator went to a boxing match this week in Coral Gables....and a football game broke out!

Ugly stat of da’ week: Arizona held Stanford to minus -6 yards rushing on 19 carries....but Michigan held the Nitwit Lions to minus-14 yards on 25 carries!

!!@*%#@!!! Orange kicked a meaningless FG down by 27 with just over 3 minutes left to get the cover and go to 6-1 ATS (and post a forecast "L" for Vindicator!).

Owens’ books part II: More future drivel from T.O...."Broken Thumbelina", "Gulliver’s Road Games", "Alice Never Got Thrown Enough Passes in Wonderland’s Red Zone Either", "The Tarheel Baby", "Little T. and the Three Chicago Bears", "Booty & the Beast of the East" and "Winnie the Pooh & the Blustery Day That Cost Little T. Several Pass Receptions!" (By the way, gangster-rapper-turned-actor-entrepreneur Snoop Dogg will also see his children’s books hit the bookshelves this month. Can’t wait for "Little Huggy Bear Busts a Cap in Little T’s Ass.")

"Locked in a Box?": At 4-3, Vindicator swears off selecting the same "lock" team in consecutive weeks! The Weber Kid has done so twice this season (Nebraska and Mizzou) and paid the consequences both times!

Shoppe Talk: Those Florida Gators return after a loss to Auburn gives them 4 forecast losses in their last 5 tries!

Vindy’s Week 8 Best Bets: Last Week: 1–3-1 Season: 15-16-1 (.483)
BYU -28 ½ over Unlv, BAYLOR -3 ½ over Kansas, ARIZONA STATE -22 1/2 over Stanford, Texas El-Paso +6 over HOUSTON, Air Force -14 over SAN DIEGO STATE, ARKANSAS STATE -7 over North Texas

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Vindy's Picks Week 7-2006


SCANDALS IMPACT RANKINGS
Buckeyes, Gators Title Game Hopes in Deep Kimchee

GAINESVILLE, Florida (UPI)...Recently-revealed political indiscretions seem to have bled over into the world of college football. A poll conducted this week by AP-Ipsos indicates BCS voters are allowing party issues to affect their ballots for the NCAA Top 25. Specifically, teams in states currently held by Republicans are feeling the backlash of such events as explicit e-mails by Republican representative Mark Foley and a coin-collection stealing snafu by a GOP fund-raiser in Ohio. Bowl Championship Series poll voters are deciding teams in the blue states are simply the lesser of two evils and supporting teams such as Rutgers at the expense of clubs from red states, such as Florida and Ohio State. When it’s all said and done, the BCS bowl match-ups could ultimately reflect political lines rather than win-loss records and power ratings! Coaches of red-state teams with clout and alumni support are asking for help digging up those dirty little Democrat secrets!

Following an 8-10 Week Six (48-58-3, .453 season), our putrid prophet belts down one of those "protein shakes" that reportedly helped 76-year-old televangelist Pat Robertson leg-press 2000 pounds and displays....

THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 7 FORECAST
("Submitted for your approval...Just a first down away from... the Twilight Zone")

THURS. OCT. 12
#12 CLEMSON over Temple giving 44:
Vindicator initially thought the Las Vegas Review Journal had printed the over/under without a spread when he saw the original 46-point line. The North Koreans claim to have tested a bomb equal to nearly 550 tons of dynamite...or approximately the amount of force the Tigers will rain down upon the Owls this week...Tigers 51 Owls 3

BOSTON COLLEGE over #22 Virginia Tech taking 2 1/2: Eagles lost a spot in the rankings and didn’t even play last week! They can’t be happy about that (but then, mere 22-0 win over Maine doesn’t inspire voters to say "Wow! We gotta’ rank these guys!"). Hokies have no quality wins. Eagles, who could easily be 2-3, found a way to topple Clemson and BYU in extra innings...BC 27 VT 24

SAT. OCT. 14
#1 Ohio State over MICHIGAN STATE giving 15:
Vindy thanks Jim Tressel for calling off the dogs with over 12 minutes to play last week against Bowling Green, allowing the Falcons to cover. Are Spartans in traditional mid-season swoon? A couple of quick Buckeye scores and MSU will likely quit..Ohio State 38 MSU 16

#2 Florida over #11 AUBURN taking 2: As part of their "directed reading" independent study course, Tigers’ players must read and do a 10-page report on ..."Little T Learns to Share"...Gators 21 Auburn 17

Arizona State over #3 USC taking 19: Line seems to reflect margins of loss by the Devils rather than margins of win by Troy. SoCal has yet to cover the number in three conference tilts this season. Here’s hopin’ the off-week helps State regroup and runs Trojans’ ATS loss-streak to 4...USC 31 ASU 17

PENN STATE over #4 Michigan taking 7 : Anybody remember Coach Carr’s vehement complaining that put an extra 2 seconds on the clock in Ann Arbor that ultimately cost the Lions a perfect record last year?!!! The Lions sure as hell do! (So does this alum, who watched in horror with many of his fellow Nifty Lion alumni companions! ).... PSU 23 Michigan 21

#5 WEST VIRGINIA over Syracuse giving 25: Mounties are 3-1 against the line, but are also a 50-yard punt return for TD with just over a minute remaining at Mississippi State away from 2-2 ATS. However, Vindy notes WVU was sloppy, suffering 11 flags for 132 yards. Orange 5-1 ATS, but we’ll call it...’Eers 38 Orange 7

#6 TEXAS over Baylor giving 29: Investigation into the Mark Foley scandal has led to the public release of an e-mail from the former Florida representative to a teenage former page in Austin that states "Do I make you a little Longhorny, baby?!" Bears have been in most games to the end, covering 3 of 5...Texas 41 Bayluh 7

Cincinnati over #7 LOUISVILLE taking 26 ½: Cards still undefeated, but appear to have lost a little steam since losing the starting backfield in early September. Redbirds posted their first spread loss last week...Louisville 41 Cincinnati 22

#8 Tennessee: IDLE (next vs. Alabama)

#9 Notre Dame: IDLE (next vs. UCLA)

#10 California over WASHINGTON STATE giving 7 ½: No disrespect to improving Cougars, but 2 ½-point line move in favor of Wazzou looks like an overreaction to 6-point loss to USC. Vin reverts to statement from a couple weeks ago that Cal is still the second-best club in the PAC-10. With Auburn’s fall last Saturday, maybe nobody’s "safe", however...Bears 27 WSU 17
#13 Georgia Tech: IDLE (next @ Clemson)

#14 LSU over Kentucky giving 26 ½: Vindicator changed his mind from his initial selection here (rarely a good sign). Upon further review, Bengals only yielding 10 points per game, including matches against Auburn and Florida. They should break into the 40's here against traditionally-porous Wildcats’ defense...Tigers 48 KY 16

#15 Iowa over INDIANA giving 17 1/2: Vindy hopes Hawkeyes carry over some of that fury they unleashed on the Boilermakers...Iowa 44 Indy 16.

Vanderbilt over #16 GEORGIA taking 13: This match features two of the Weber Kid’s biggest Week Six disappointments. ‘Dawgs were up 27-24 over the Vols going into the 4th quarter, when they gave up two turnovers and 27 points! Joja’ needs to get angry...Bill Clinton angry...but won’t! This forecaster pooh-poohed the ‘Dores early when they lost Cutler to the draft. They’re hanging tough though...UGA 24 Admirals 17

SE Missouri State @ #17 ARKANSAS: No line.

#18 OREGON over Ucla giving 11: Due to malfunctions of the home PC, Vindicator was unable to view all of the available angles on this play and simply let the original call in the sportsbook stand after two minutes... Drakes 34 Bruins 21

#19 Missouri over TEXAS A&M giving 2 1/2: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. OK, Tigers have proven themselves worthy as contenders. Vindy ain’t impressed with Aggies four wins, that came over Citadel, UL-Laugh-At-Us, a horrible Weeziana Tech club and Army,,,Mizzou 34 A&M 17

#21 Nebraska over KANSAS STATE giving 10 ½: Nice job by the Purple Kitties to rebound from two-touchdown beating by Bayluh to overcome Oklahoma State. Big Red effectively kept Iowa State off the board after the first quarter, allowing only a meaningless score with :06 left in the game...Nebraska 31 K-State 14

Iowa State over #23 OKLAHOMA taking 19 ½: Other than vengeful mood leftover from sound thrashing by Texas, can’t believe Sooners will keep this many points between themselves and the Cyclones. (And because we said that, we like this as the best chance for "wish I had it back"!)...Okie-Doke 35 Dust Devils 19

NAVY over #24 Rutgers giving 1 1/2: Middies haven’t generally been spread-friendly on Homecoming. Tough pick though, with both sides playing well. This is probably the best rushing offense Knights have encountered this year...Navy 21 State Uni of NJ 17

#25 WISCONSIN over Minnesota giving 10: We’re putting a lot on the shoulders of the Badgers’ defense here to shut down Minny’s offense. Wisky is still sporting some of that emotion from Barry Alvarez’ retirement. Gophers went to OT before succumbing to Weber’s Lions... Cheese-heads 27 Gerbils 14

SUN. OCT. 15
NEW MEXICO STATE over #20 Boise State taking 25:
Aggies have made for some entertaining football this year, scoring nearly 33 ppg and losing to both UTEP and New Mexico by only 6. Broncos posting 40 ppg. If NMSU can hold the Potato-Heads below half-a-century, they can cover...BSU 44 NMSU 27

BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS

Vin takes a bow for calling back-to-back upsets by NC State, the exact Nebraska 28-14 over ISU score and a near exacta on Ohio State-Bowling Green with a 34-7 prediction (35-7 actual).
As previously noted, Terrell Owens has authored the children’s book, "Little T Learns to Share". Watch for these future classic publications from our wacky wideout: "Little T.O.D." (Thanks to college buddy and longtime friend, Andy Marchetto for that one.), Dr. Seuss-like "I Am Sham,; Sham, I Am". "Little T Takes the Training Wheels Off His Stationery Bike", "Little T. Gets a Big Owwie",and "Little T. and the Magic Bottle of Supplements". In related news, Owens pitched yet another fit that he ain’t the Cowboys go-to guy on "downer and distance"!

Last Spring, UNLV coach Mike Sanford took the names off the backs of his team’s jerseys. Given this season’s performance, he may consider removing the school name off the front of da’ jerseys too!

Celeb-reality star Flava’ Flav often wears a helmet with horns. Maybe he wants to be the Vikes’ mascot???!! He also sports an over-sized tick-tock around his neck. Inquiring minds wanna’ know...does his clock start on the kick, on the ready to flay from the referee or when the women vying for his affections actually touch his balls!

A pair of North Korean soldiers wandered last Saturday into the South Korean side of the Demilitarized Zone, touching off an international incident. However, through an interpreter, the soldiers said they were "just a couple of sports fans" and were reacting to rumors that border guards on the south side were "watching the Georgia-Tennessee game on CBS." The pair were later disappointed to learn "CBS" didn’t stand for the "Communist Broadcasting System".

"Locked in a Box?": The lock record jumps up to 4-2 behind Mizzou’s very nice road win as a doggie over Texas Tech! Weber will cheer the Tigers again this week in the "lock" role!

Shoppe Talk: Those Frightenin’ Irish (1-5) and Texas Wrong Horns (0-5) re-inhabit the Shoppe after showing up on the wrong side of the spread again!

Vindy’s Week 7 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-3 Season: 14-13 (.519)
Maryland -2 over VIRGINIA, WYOMING +4 ½ over Utah, SAN JOSE STATE -14 over Utah State, EAST CAROLINA +2 ½ over Tulsa, Army +5 ½ over UCONN