COLLEGE PIGSKIN GETS TEACHER TOSSED
FRISCO, Texas (ITAR-Tass)...A fifth-grade teacher was benched for the rest of the academic year here by the local school district recently over a art museum field trip gone awry. Sydney McGee got the boot because her students were exposed to nude portraits while visiting the Dallas Museum of Art. The curator said he told McGee during coordination of the excursion, there would be "nudes on display". The teacher said she heard the museum representative say there would be "Utes on display". McGee claimed she thought it was "a little odd that Picasso works featuring players from Provo would make their way into Horned Toads territory", but admitted she "fantasized about possibly winning a National Teachers Association award or even a Nobel Peace Prize in education for expanding her students’ cultural horizons" during the outing. The exiled educator audibly mused to herself before leaving the interview, "Gee, those football players sure look different without their clothes on."
After a couple sub-par efforts, Vindicator "manned up", got two Thursday night forecast wins and went on to post a 12-7-1 Week Seven, bringing the season numbers to 60-65-4 (.480).
THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 8 FORECAST
FRI. OCT. 20
#4 West Virginia over UCONN giving 22: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. A slow start and an improving Syracuse defense cost the Mounties last week’s cover. In light of recent wins for Indiana, UConn’s early season triumph over the Hoosiers looks more impressive than it really is...’Eers 45 Huskies 16
SAT. OCT. 21
#1 OHIO STATE over Indiana giving 31 1/2: Yeah, OK...Indy’s strung together consecutive Big Ten victories. Just can’t get by that loss to I-AA Southern Illinois a couple weeks back though. Buckeyes haven’t broken into the 40's yet. They will here...OSU 47 Indiana 9
#2 MICHIGAN over Iowa giving 13: Wolverines continue to chug slowly-but-steadily toward showdown with Ohio State. Hawkeyes’ season is quickly coming apart, with two losses in last three games...Big Blue 30 Iowa 13
#3 USC: IDLE (next @ Oregon State)
#17 NEBRASKA over #5 Texas taking 6 ½: Yeah, yeah, yeah....the Longhorns-Sooners game was supposed to be close too! The defenses on both sides have been pushed around a bit in bigger games against the better foes on their respective schedules. We like that trend to continue...Nebraska 29 Texas 27
SYRACUSE over #6 Louisville taking 17: For a few fleeting moments, the Weber Kid contemplated an upset here. If Vindy was coaching Louisville, he probably wouldn’t have risked bringing starting QB Brohm back as early as last week from injury with his replacement playing well enough to keep the Redbirds undefeated. Maybe a couple tilts at game-speed before West Virginia will be beneficial (unless he re-injures the knee!)...Louisville 31 ‘Cuse 24
Alabama over #7 TENNESSEE taking 11 1/2: UPSET OF DA’ WEEK. Vin couldn’t pull the upset trigger just one pick prior, but does so here. Tide’s 2-0 ATS on the road and was a dog in both instances. Wonder if the trash-talk about illegal recruiting practices will start up again like it did this time last season...’Bama 19 UT 17
#8 AUBURN over Tulane giving 32: Last week’s 27-17 over Florida is deceiving as the game was not nearly close with the Tigers running roughshod over the Gators. Aubie just might be the Denver Broncos East, having scored no offensive touchdowns in its last eleven quarters....Auburn 48 Wave 10
#9 Florida: IDLE (next vs. Joja’)
#10 NOTRE DAME over Ucla giving 13 1/2: Vindy hasn’t been this excited since George Bush gave German Chancellor Angela Merkel a spur-of-da’-moment back-rub that found its way on video to the Internet! Bruins are 1-3 in last 4 ATS. Irish not much better at 3-3, but had a week off...Leprechauns 34 UCLA 17
#11 CAL over Washington giving 23: Huskies were plus-3 in turnover ratio and still lost by 10 to the Beavers...AT HOME!...Bears 44 UDumb 17
#13 Georgia Tech over #12 CLEMSON taking 8: Bees got an extra week to prepare while Clemson might get conservative with trip to Virginia Tech a mere five days following this game. Tigers only spread loss came in OT defeat by Boston College...Clemson 28 Joja’ Tech 24
#14 LSU over Fresno State giving 32: Despite a preseason vote from Vindy to take the WAC title again, this year’s version of the Bulldogs certainly hasn’t panned out any better than previous LSU victims Kentucky and Mississippi State...Bengals 45 Fresno 9
#15 ARKANSAS over Mississippi giving 17: Rebels have certainly awakened as of late. Sooey Pigs however have got an even-better rushing game than the one Wake Forest used to whack Ol’ Miss 27-3...’Backs 31 Mississippi 6
#16 Oregon over WASHINGTON STATE giving 4: Both sides will air out frequently. Decoys can defend the pass as well and have a decent edge on the ground...Ducks 34 Coogs 24
IDAHO over #18 Boise State taking 20 1/2: Dennis Erickson might just have enough up his sleeve to make this interesting at home as the Vandals march toward bowl-eligibility with two more wins and first possible post-season berth since 1998....Broncos 35 Idaho 24
#19 Rutgers over PITT taking 6: Knights won it last year and are a hot team right now. Rutgers sports the top pass D in the Big East and 4th best air defense nationally...The Garden State 23 The Keystone State 20
Colorado over #20 OKLAHOMA taking 12 ½: Sooners now down not only a starting quarterback, but also a Heisman Trophy-candidate starting running back. Loss of Adrian Peterson might force Okies to throw more than they’d like here. Bison are sluggish on offense, averaging less than 16 ppg, but the D grabbed three picks last week to smoke Texas Tech...OK 24 Buffaloes 13
#21 Wisconsin over PURDUE giving 4 ½: Badger band is on probation for hazing that involved alcohol and dancing in various states of undress during the bus ride from the Michigan game. If the band suspensions keep up at this pace, the halftime shows will consist of recorded music blaring from boom boxes atop remote-control cars doing choreographed moves up-and-down the field! Still ridin’ Wisky...Badgers 27 Boilers 13
#22 Boston College over FLORIDA STATE taking 5: The Injuns just seem unfocused. Even their 27-point win at Duke was sloppy at best, particularly on special teams. Eagles outright at Doak Campbell...BC 27 FSU 24
OKLAHOMA STATE over #23 Texas A&M giving 2: Cowpokes are 10th in the country in total offense (admittedly, the numbers were bolstered by a weak early schedule). Aggies beat Missouri with three Tigers fumbles...Okie State 34 A&M 27
#24 MISSOURI over Kansas State giving 16 ½: Wildcats will pay the price for aforementioned mistakes by Mizzou...Missouri 34 K-State 10
#25 Wake Forest: IDLE (next @ North Carolina)
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Stanford’s getting so desperate for a win, it’s considering trading a missile that works to North Korea for the chance to play the University of Pyongpang! In a related story, coaches at Temple held a news conference recently to announce they’d tested an underground nuke beneath the Philadelphia Museum of Art to make someone in the NCAA take them seriously (or to at least get Sly Stallone to come attend a game!)
Vindicator went to a boxing match this week in Coral Gables....and a football game broke out!
Ugly stat of da’ week: Arizona held Stanford to minus -6 yards rushing on 19 carries....but Michigan held the Nitwit Lions to minus-14 yards on 25 carries!
!!@*%#@!!! Orange kicked a meaningless FG down by 27 with just over 3 minutes left to get the cover and go to 6-1 ATS (and post a forecast "L" for Vindicator!).
Owens’ books part II: More future drivel from T.O...."Broken Thumbelina", "Gulliver’s Road Games", "Alice Never Got Thrown Enough Passes in Wonderland’s Red Zone Either", "The Tarheel Baby", "Little T. and the Three Chicago Bears", "Booty & the Beast of the East" and "Winnie the Pooh & the Blustery Day That Cost Little T. Several Pass Receptions!" (By the way, gangster-rapper-turned-actor-entrepreneur Snoop Dogg will also see his children’s books hit the bookshelves this month. Can’t wait for "Little Huggy Bear Busts a Cap in Little T’s Ass.")
"Locked in a Box?": At 4-3, Vindicator swears off selecting the same "lock" team in consecutive weeks! The Weber Kid has done so twice this season (Nebraska and Mizzou) and paid the consequences both times!
Shoppe Talk: Those Florida Gators return after a loss to Auburn gives them 4 forecast losses in their last 5 tries!
Vindy’s Week 8 Best Bets: Last Week: 1–3-1 Season: 15-16-1 (.483)
BYU -28 ½ over Unlv, BAYLOR -3 ½ over Kansas, ARIZONA STATE -22 1/2 over Stanford, Texas El-Paso +6 over HOUSTON, Air Force -14 over SAN DIEGO STATE, ARKANSAS STATE -7 over North Texas
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