DUCKS INSPIRE WAL-MART TO LOSE THE "BLUES"
EUGENE, Oregon (MSNBC)...Discount retail giant Wal-Mart announced this week it was putting its traditional blue vests in mothballs and its employees will now be sporting any of a number of combinations of green polo shirts and khaki pants. Consulting the local university sports uniform designer, Wal-Mart will retire its old look in favor of a more modern image that would reportedly meet with the approval of late Wal-Mart founder, Sam Walton. "Sam was a big fan." said one spokesperson. Combinations will include home-store colors, specific combinations for visiting other Wal-Mart outlets, even special designs for Super Wal-Marts and for visiting competitors’ retail shops! Company representatives noted the blue unis will be brought out periodically to commemorate anniversaries and other events with "Throw-Back Vest" Day. Options with or without the yellow Smiley Face add even more possible attire combinations to the arsenal. Higher-ups are also gradually replacing its familiar catch-phrase "How may I help you?" with "What up, Dawg?!" on the back of the shirts. CEO Lee Scott stated "Wally World is changing with the times" and is about to "get its Oregon on"!
Our fearless forecaster posted his second straight 12-7-1 outing for Week 8 to finally reach the Mendoza Line at 72-72-5 (.500) and tries to get back in black with....
THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 9 FORECAST
THURS. OCT. 26
#10 Clemson over VIRGINIA TECH giving 4: For most teams, Blacksburg,, especially this time of year, is an intimidating venue to play in. Tigers, however, seem to be right comfortable, winning 7 of last 10 here. Hokies are 9-4 ATS in their last 13 at home games...Clemson 17 Tech 10
SAT. OCT. 28
#1 OHIO STATE over Minnesota giving 27: Gophers won 10-9 over North Dakota State???????!!!! Gerbils had only 4 penalties, yielded only a pair of sacks and did not turn the ball over. They did miss two FGs and the game ended with NDSU driving deep into Minny territory. Only the Chippewas cover the number this year better than the Buckeyes ...OSU 45 Gophers 13
Northwestern over #2 MICHIGAN taking 34: The lines-makers just might be catching up to Big Blue again following a five-game ATS tear. Wolverines haven’t posted a spread loss since September 9th and are laying their biggest number of the season. Wildcats haven’t been shutout all year and it could happen in this spot. Then again... Michigan 35 NW 9
OREGON STATE over #3 Southern Cal taking 12 1/2: Troy’s last three victories have been by 6, 7 and 6 en route to a four-game ATS loss streak against PAC-10 foes. Did Matt Leinart’s dad finally stop paying for Dwayne Jarrett’s apartment or what?...USC 23 Beavers 16
#4 West Virginia: IDLE (next @ Louisville 11/2)
#5 Texas over TEXAS TECH giving 12: Maybe the long scoring passes of 63- and 49-yards by Nebraska last week give the Raiders hope. Tech has been crushed in three of the last five vs. the ‘Horns, including the ‘04 and ‘05 tilts... Steers 35 Tech 17
#6 Louisville: IDLE (next vs. West Virginia 11/2)
MISSISSIPPI over #7 Auburn taking 18: Since being derided by Vindicator for an ATS losing streak dating back to last season, Ol’ Missed has ripped off three straight covers while beating Vandy and nearly overturning Joja’ and ‘Bama. UM, however, looked like same old Rebels last week. Tigers are only .500 vs. the line. A not-real-comfortable vote to....Auburn 24 Mississippi 12
SOUTH CAROLINA over #8 Tennessee taking 5: If Spurrier’s Gamecocks are going to jump up and bite somebody important this season, this is the spot. Vols are short their leading rusher...South Carolina 23 Rocky Top 20
Georgia over #9 Florida (at Jacksonville) taking 14: Forget the ‘Dawgs’ loss to the Commodores. Joja’ can tie the Gators for top spot in the SEC East with a win. Florida should’ve lost at Tennessee and the remaining conference victories came at the Swamp...Florida 17 UGA 13
NAVY over #11 Notre Dame taking 14: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Vindicator ignores 34-0 whitewash of the Middies two weeks ago by Rutgers. Boat People cover about 75% against the Irish, including 4 of last 5. Here’s hopin’ Navy snares its first outright triumph in 43 tries against the Catholics...Ensigns 24 Golden Domers 23
#12 California: IDLE (next vs. UCLA)
#13 ARKANSAS over Louisiana-Monroe giving 37: Warhawks are playing respectably (albeit in losing efforts) against fellow Sun Belt competitors, but just find something else to watch if this one gets televised (maybe there’s even something better than this on ABC! [See Between the Hashmarks later in this forecast])...Razorbacks 48 UL-M 7
#14 LSU: IDLE (next @ Tennessee)
#15 Boise State: IDLE (next vs. Fresno State 11/1)
#17 WISCONSIN over Illinois giving 21: Voters in Panama just approved a widening of the canal locks to allow bigger ships to pass through by 2015. Maybe the Illini can pass a similar plan for its offensive line...Badgers 27 Illinois 0
Buffalo over #18 BOSTON COLLEGE taking 36: The Bulls caught Auburn in a sandwich spot too earlier this season and covered. We like ‘em to do that with the Eagles between last week’s FSU tilt and trip to Wake Forest on deck...BC 34 Buffalo 7
#19 Oklahoma over #23 MISSOURI taking 2 ½: If ya don’t count Red River "neutral site" game, this is only the second road trip of the year for the Sooners. The subs seem to be filling in adequately for lost OK stars. Mizzou gave up 10 more points to Colorado than Sooners did...Oklahoma 24 MU 23
#20 Nebraska over OKLAHOMA STATE giving 5 ½: Vindy was a big Cowpoke backer early in the season. State hasn’t shown a tendency to win the close ones of late though. Expect a flat Big Red squad to sleepwalk thru the first half, then put the Cowboys away in the final 30 minutes...Nebraska 23 OKSU 7
#21 GEORGIA TECH over Miami giving 6: A Pennsylvania high school student was mocked by a teacher who made him take his midterm exam on the classroom floor for wearing a John Elway jersey. Vindicator can think of a few jerseys truly worthy of humiliation, like Ron Artest, Lawrence Phillips, Maurice Clarett, John Rocker and... if Weber had his own jersey, well.....! Oh....and...uh...any shirt from this year’s The U....Bees 27 Hurri-Cons 16
BAYLOR over #22 Texas A&M taking 4 1/2: Oh!...did the Aggies finally decide to try to save Coach Fran’s job???!! A&M has been living on the edge and has burned Vindy in both of two chances in the picks. Turnovers forced the Bears to rally from 17-point halftime hole vs. Kansas...Bayluh 28 Aggies 24
#24 Wake Forest over NORTH CAROLINA giving 9: This pick got serious "lock" consideration. With Weeziana Tech, Fresno, Marshall and San Diego State finally picking up their first ATS wins last weekend, the only squad without a cover thus far is...North Carolina! Ain’t happenin’ this Saturday either!...Deacons 23 Tarheels 7
Portland State @ #25 OREGON: No line.
SUN. OCT. 29
#16 RUTGERS over Connecticut giving 18 ½: Huskies only two covers came via straight-up wins over Indiana and Army. Staying with hot New Brunswick Bombers...Rutgers 33 UConn 10
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
The North Dakota State Bison’s 6-1 record, by the way, is good for THIRD PLACE in the I-AA Great West Conference!
Charged with attempted murder, former Northern Colorado back-up punter Mitchell Cozad was released this week on $500,000 bail. Cozad initially thought he’d be unable to come up with that kinda’ moola and offered up his personal protector as collateral. He later told the judge he changed his mind and would "take a stab at raising the money!" His lawyer unsuccessfully argued Cozad was not a flight risk due to having mob ties to the community!
This summer, Randy Moss became VP of Marketing of a fruit juice/smoothies company. Vin has a few flavor suggestions for the menu..."Top Banana", "Sour Grapes", "Melon Head" and "Malcontent Mango". Just give this PSU alum a "Peachy Paterno" from the Penn State Creamery, okay????!!!!
A local Sin City writer recently lamented the essential wussification of ABC programming, noting such unmanly shows as Dancing With the Stars, Wife Swap (sorry...it ain’t about that!) and Alias. Vindy has six words to put the All Boys Channel back in ABC..."End Zone Dancing with the Stars!"
Just in time for the World Series....a new game show: "Steal or No Steal"- contestants decide whether or not to swipe bases, possibly containing lotsa’ cash, up to $1M!
"Locked in a Box?": The ‘Eers bring home Vindicator’s 5th lock win against 3 losses with a good cover over UConn.
Shoppe Talk: The Irish are back at 1-6. The Decoys make the Shoppe menu with 5 losses in last 6 appearances... and the Sooners better circle da’ wagons at 1-5-1!
Vindy’s Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-3 Season: 18-19-1 (.486)
Arkansas State -8 over FLORIDA ATLANTIC, Idaho +25 over HAWAII, Washington State +1 over UCLA, Eastern Michigan +15 ½ over WESTERN MICHIGAN, Tulane -5 over ARMY
No comments:
Post a Comment