PIGSKIN PART OF ARNOLD’S 100-DAY PLAN
SACRAMENTO, California (CNN)...With the final tallies in and his transition team of Vin Diesel, Angelina Jolie, Lee Corso and Danny DeVito surrounding him, the Terminator spelled out his expected accomplishments in the first 100 days of his administration in the Golden State. Said Schwarzenegger, "As guvanah of dis great state, I will repeal da’ state cah tax, balance da’ buhget and most impawtently...I will return Suddern Cahleeforneeya footbahl to national prahminence. Schools like UC-Santah Cruz, Cal-State Foolaton and Sahn Hosaaaayy State will compete again for da’ National Title. I will puhsonally take dem to da’ gym and pump...dem up!" Arnold also repented for past indiscretions, noting "In my yute, I did a lot of tings that I taught were playful at da’ time, like making fun of Veeendy’s fawcast. But I know now dat it was jus disrespecful, and faw dat, I apologice."
But back to the future....Well-ahead of the bookies at 8-3 thru the first 11 of his Week Five calls, Vindicator started hotdogging like Olympic snowboard-cross racing shoulda’-been-gold medalist, Lindsey Jacobellis, leading the bookies to send in that German guy from the Volkswagen commercials to "un-pimp Vindy’s auto!". Weber finished the week at a still-decent 11-7 and stands at 8 games below the Mendoza Line with a season tally of 40-48-3 (.454).
THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 6 FORECAST
(So easy, a caveman could pick ‘em!)
THURS. OCT. 5
NC STATE over #17 Florida State taking 11: Wolfpack defense is stout...11th in the nation against the pass and yielding a reasonable 20 points per game. ‘Noles are passing for 315 yards per game, but could be one-dimensional since only 24 I-A teams rush for fewer yards per game. Does Chuck Amato and the boys have another upset in ‘em?...NC State 21 Injuns 19
FRI. OCT. 6
#9 Louisville over MIDDLE TENNESSEE STATE giving 33: Best chance for the Blue Raiders is to borrow the Titans’ mascot, T-Rac, and have him back his golf cart over whomever lines up at QB for the Cardinals this week... Cards 38 MTSU 0
SAT. OCT. 7
Bowling Green over #1 OHIO STATE taking 34: State is perfect 5-0 ATS. Buckeyes got four turnovers to get past Iowa. Hope we see the Falcons that won on the road over Ohio instead the ones that got smoked by Kent State 38-3 two weeks ago...Buckeyes 34 BGSU 7
Arkansas over #2 AUBURN taking 16: Teams should be starting to catch up to Auburn right about now and maybe consecutive spread losses by the Tigers support that. Hogs are 0-4 ATS. Might be a good spot for them to get their first spread win against Auburn club that hosts Florida next week...Tigers 24 Soooeeey Pigs 14
Washington over #3 USC taking 20 ½: UDUB is finally prospering under Ty Willingham. Troy has posted back-to-back spread losses, both vs. conference competition...USC 32 Sled Dogs 14
#4 West Virginia over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 26: Bulldogs aren’t playing badly on defense but can’t move the ball consistently. Croom’s club is 2-8 ATS in its last 10 going back to last season. Together with sister Magnolia State school Ol’ Miss, the two squads are 3-17 ATS in their last 20...WVU 38 MSU 3
#8 Louisiana State over #5 FLORIDA taking 2: Homecoming for the Gators, who should really only be 2-3 ATS, but got a very late INT for TD vs. ‘Bama to cover that one. Bengals have won 3 of last 4 outright. Tigers have also only covered 2 of last 10 against Top 25 teams...Tigers 23 Florida 19
Michigan State over #6 MICHIGAN taking 16: Much to the chagrin of local fishermen, the Coast Guard is establishing live-fire zones on the Great Lakes. Maybe the Spartans can have the Coasties launch a few missiles and small-arms fire far enough inland to soften the Wolverines defense. State took last week to fall flat after heartbreaker vs. the Irish. The season for them comes down to this one though and an outright win by Sparty wouldn’t be a shocker...Michigan 24 MSU 23
#14 Oklahoma over #7 Texas taking 5: Bob Stoops will throw the whole defensive playbook at Longhorns’ freshman QB Colt McCoy...Sooners 20 Texas 17
#10 GEORGIA over #13 Tennessee taking 2 ½: We might’ve backed a shaky Vols team as a road dog going up against Bulldog squad that excels at home inside the conference, but not as chalk...Joja’ 19 UT 16
#11 Oregon over #16 CAL taking 5 ½: Two fine offenses go toe-to-toe here and the Weber Kid changed his mind several times on this pick. Decoys have actually been a few games better against the number away from the Pond than they have been at home. Mallards get the nod in a wild one...Cal 34 Ducks 31
#12 NOTRE DAME over Stanford giving 32: Stanford has been a horrible team to-date and brings to mind last season’s loss to Cal-Davis. The obnoxious Cardinal band was suspended from travel for trashing a hotel room. Did the band geeks have illusions of being members of the Who and start smashing their woodwinds and snare drums following a rousing version of Baba O’Reilly?...Catholics 48 Stanford 10
#15 Clemson over WAKE FOREST giving 16: As a sign of respect, Vin tips his helmet to Jim Grobe’s Demon Deacons for the job they’ve done since losing the starting quarterback. Wake won this straight up 31-27 in ‘05, but that was over Tiger team coming off consecutive defeats, in which they played a total of four OT periods...Clemson 35 Deacons 14
#18 GEORGIA TECH over Maryland giving 13 ½: There’s still the "Bell factor" but ‘Jackets’ defense alone could account for the covering scores. Terps’ three wins this year aren’t over anyone of substance...Bees 30 Box Turtles 7
Purdue over #19 IOWA taking 11: Expect the Boilers’ receivers to keep Hawkeye defensive backfield busy all day. Iowa rebounds from Ohio State defeat, but Purdue beats the line...Iowa 28 Purdue 27
#20 BOISE STATE over Louisiana Tech giving 35: Fourth road trip already this year for Tech and third against a ranked foe. Bulldogs will be as effective as North Korean Taepaedong II missile. Lack of returning defensive starters for LT has been painfully evident...BSU 54 Weeziana Tech 10
#21 Virginia Tech : IDLE (next @ Boston College 10/12)
#22 Nebraska over IOWA STATE giving 7: Cyclones still playing below expectations with 6-point win over UNLV and 1-point squeaker over Northern Iowa. The Church of Scientology supports the concept that "quiet birth", the absence of talk and other noise, is more healthful for the birth..Vindy follows suit and won’t say a word about last week’s Huskers "lock" pick...Big Red 28 ISU 14
#23 Missouri over TEXAS TECH taking 4: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Red Raiders second-half defense (or lack thereof) nearly cost ‘em game at A&M. Tigers show if they’re real (with a nice road victory) or just Memorex ... Mizzou 33 Texas Tech 27
#24 Rutgers: IDLE (next @ Navy)
#25 Boston College: IDLE (next vs. Virginia Tech 10/12)
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
This past Spring, a Cornell University horticulturist suggested giving plants some hard liquor keeps them from tipping over. In early February, the Stanford Tree mascot was busted consuming alcohol under her costume. Vin thinks she was simply ahead of her time! (Hmmm...quick thinking band members might’ve been able to propose a scapegoat for that whole ‘trashed hotel room’ thing!)
Pro footballers Braylon Edwards, Steven Jackson and Sinorice Moss are vying for the same role on "General Hospital". Personally, Vindy’s always been a "Days of Our Lives" fan (or was it "All My Children"?), lusting after Kelly Ripa in her pre-"Regis & Kelly" days.
A July issue of Sports Illustrated reported Jose Canseco wanted to be deputized as a member of Senator George Mitchell’s steroid scandal investigators and labeled him the" Sherlock Holmes of Human Growth Hormone, the Columbo of the Clear". Vin continues the analogy and anoints the former Bash Brother as Da’ Quincy of Cream, Da’ Barretta of da’ BALCO, Da’ Joe Friday of da’ Flaxseed, Da’ Kojak of Da’ Juice, Da’ Starsky of the Steroids and Da’ Tubbs of da’ Testosterone!
A barrage of legal difficulties befell members of the Cincinnati Bengals this summer, including the arrest and Tasering of tackle Matthias Askew. Officers on-site called Askew "an electric player". Cincinnati coaches, upon hearing the news of yet another brush with the law, expressed "shock-and- awwwwwww, not again!". Opposing teams planned to re-implement the "zap-back block". Teammates say his favorite band is now AC/DC! (OK, we’ll stop now.)
"Locked in a Box?": The Weber Kid is 3-2 after going to the well with Nebraska one too many times!
Shoppe Talk: The Shoppe is vacant this week with Texas playing a I-AA opponent last week and the Irish failing to cover against Purdue as predicted. (Don’t wander too far away fellas!)
Vindy’s Week 6 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-1 Season: 12-10 (.545)
Vandy -1 ½ over OL’ MISS, Florida International -3 over NORTH TEXAS, Washington State -3 over OREGON STATE, Oklahoma State -3 ½ over KANSAS STATE, Navy +3 over USAF
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