FLIGHT PLANS GO AWRY FOR BROADCASTER
BRISTOL, Connecticut (AP)…Ex-NFL star receiver and local ESPN analyst Randy Moss recently thought he was travelling back to the local home of the “world leader”, but instead touched-down in Bristol, Tennessee. The yet-unnamed airline tweeted an apology for the passenger-interference, offering Moss a free-upgrade on his next trip from economy to first-down class. The captain-in-question was subsequently benched, leaving the company down to its emergency-pilot, an undrafted rookie flight-attendant that competitively raced drones in college.
Meanwhile, our own journey taxiing-down last week’s handicapping tarmac didn’t quite go the way we drew-up the X’s and O’s, pulling into the gate at 3-2 (18-12, .600). We did hit one of our upset picks of da’ week with LSU (+6 ½) taking out Alabama, and damn-near got the other one with Kansas State (+7) giving it the “Ol’ School Try” before relinquishing an early 14-point lead and losing late by just 3 at Texas.
We’re stowin’-away in the cargo-hold of a State College-bound puddle-jumper after slippin’-past TSA behind...
THE WEBER KID’S WEEK 12 FORECAST
(As scrawled with a Sharpie on the inside of overhead-storage bins on major-carriers everywhere!)
SAT. NOV. 16
Wake Forest @ #3 CLEMSON (“under 59 ½”): Before we learned Wake will be without its top two receivers, who’d together accounted for an average of two touchdowns per contest, little voice in our head was screamin’ “Demon Deacons and da’ [34 ½] points! (Tigers’ two SU victories by fewer than that many and commensurate spread-losses came vs. Texas A&M and North Carolina who show combined 10-8 (.555) outright W-L record, while CU’s remaining scoreboard-victories and accompanying spread-wins were against clubs that are jointly 29-37 (.439) on the year. At 7-2, Deacs woulda’ been prime-bet to cover the line with largest margin-of-loss of 19 last week at Virginia Tech and average-loss by 14. Fine...we’ll call it...Clemson 40 Purgatory Priests 13
#23 IOWA (-3) over #7 Minnesota: Hawkeyes, still alive fer a conference-championship tilt berth, have won four of five at Kinnick Stadium thus far, with only defeat coming vs. the Alma Mater. Gophers dropped the Nitwit Lions last week in Minneapolis, but won’t benefit from three picks by the opposing quarterback nor poor tackling in the secondary here. Iowa, which took 2-point-loss at Madison Saturday, stands-in at #11 defending pass yardage, has given up 9 passing-scores over as many games (and 7 INTs) and won last three years by finals of 14-7, 17-10 and 48-31. Cutting into Minny’s lead in the Big Tempura West, we like... Iowa 27 Gerbils 17
#11 Florida @ MISSOURI (“under 51”): When we said “Gators need a feel-good win” last week, 56-nada final tally vs. Vanderbilt wasn’t what we had in mind. Nonetheless, Mizzou opened the season scoring almost 37 points per game across first five contests, but have crumbled offensively, posting 21-total over past three games. Ironically, Tigers show back-to-back triumphs over Florida (with three-consecutive matches ending-up beyond this total). ‘Cats are 6-2 “under” on the year. Crocs are even at 4-4 O/U, but have a six-pack below this number. UF ain’t prone to running-up the score, so we figure it took out the frustrations of Joja’-demise on the Commodores and should return to its regularly-scheduled programming...Florida 31 Show-Me State 9
#17 Cincinnati (-14) over SOUTH FLORIDA: Bulls are over-valued again for second-consecutive week after getting paltry 1 ½ in 10-point home-loss last week to Temple. Yes, Cincinnati is winning conference matches by 15.5 ppg, but is also scoring more than 36 ppg and we don’t think UC will look-ahead to hosting those same Owls on November 23rd. BTW, given wild 46-43 victory at East Carolina earlier this month, we suspect Bearkats’ defensive-unit debarked the team plane at Greenville, Delaware rather than Greenville, North Carolina!...UC 38 South Florida 13
Kansas (+17 ½) over #25 OKLAHOMA STATE: “Over 67 ½” got a look as well, but we’re counting on Jayhawks’ improvement this season in conjunction with Cowpokes’ general lack of ability to stop anyone. Blue Birds have gone down by a minimum of 25 three times, but those were against teams that play reasonable defense. State’s limited only Tulsa, K-State and FCS McNeese to fewer than 27 points while hitting the board itself for 40 or lower in 7 of 9 contests to-date. Jayhawks have been generous too, conceding nearly 44 points a pop. KU is off a bye and we expect Les Miles to have enough of a plan to stay within the spread. Sponsored this week by AT&T, our call is...Just Okay State 41 Lawrence Larks 27
BETWEEN DA’ HASHMARKS
BTW, the Secret Service detachment in Wasilla, Alaska, after inadvertently-intercepting air-traffic control transmissions, alerted Salin Palin that her daughter, Bristol Palin, was pending an unexpected visit from the aforementioned Hall of Fame pass-catcher!
A heartfelt salute to the Alma Mater for providing no-charge tickets and a complimentary tailgate-party to active duty, Reserves and National Guard folks, their kin and their loved ones for this Saturday’s game against #24 Indiana, celebrating “Seats for Servicemembers”. Likewise, fans of the visiting-team will be relegated to uncomfortable chairs in a series of catacombs beneath Beaver Stadium, in what Happy Valley officials are calling “Holes for Hoosiers!”, where said-attendees can view the contest on coin-operated, 10” black-and-white TVs...with rabbit-ear antennas!
Replacing injured teammate Stephen Gostkowski in early October, New England Patriots K Mike Nugent, lesser-known brother of rocker Ted Nugent, entered the game vs. the NY Giants to the tune of Strangle-holding Penalty blaring on the PA-system. The stadium-operator also had Wildcat Scratch Fever at his disposal. The Dallas Cowboys plan to counter any possible future appearance by Nugent on the field in Arlington with a rousing-version of Great Randy White Buffalo!
Allegedly-blackballed quarterback Colin Kaepernick will soon workout in the presence of an unknown number of NFL scouts/team-representatives in an effort to rejoin professional football for the first time since 2016. Should those sessions go fer naught, the former UNR standout will put at least his handicapping-skills to the test in front of several well-known stateside touts and a few off-shore establishments. And, yes...yer humble-host will be present to determine if the controversial figure warrants inclusion as part of his 2020 Preseason Forecasting Strategy Team!
If the members of the Seattle Seahawks defense all got married around the same time, would they be known as the “Legion of Groom”?!
While playing Wake Forest not long ago, Boston College hoopster Derryck Thorton had his Under Armour sneaker split on him, reminiscent of Duke center Zion Washington getting injured last February when his footwear blew a tire. In either case, we have just one question...was there insole added to injury???!!!
“Boxers or Briefs?”: Speaking of wardrobe-malfunctions...the skimpy length of Memphis Tigers guard Lester Quinones’ uni-bottoms has created much hullabaloo. By today’s standards of wear, the player’s cheek-covers are almost bikini-worthy and have invoked media-references to the “short-shorts” of yore. In fact, we wonder if Quinones might be considering shaving his legs to do a remake of the 1980’s Nair commercial-series!
Black Shirt: This week’s top-shelf tee goes to ‘Bama QB Tua Tagovailoa for inexplicably dropping the pigskin at the LSU 8-yard-line during the game’s opening drive, creating a minimum 10-point swing and a serious change of momentum in Bengals’ eventual upset-win!
Shoppe Talk: That aroma you smell wafting-up from Ye Olde Taxidermy Shoppe is coming from a big pot of alligator soup after Florida hosed us again for the 4th time in 5 appearances (.200)!
Vindy’s Week 12 Best Bets: Last Week: 4-1 Season: 24-19-1 (.558)
SAN DIEGO STATE (+1) over Fresno State, Virginia Tech –5 ½ over JOJA’ TECH, Kentucky @ VANDY “under 41 ½”, Louisville –4 over NC STATE
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