SURPRISE-CONTENDER NETS NFL TRY-OUT
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (ITAR-Tass)...A group of professional gridiron-players, in April, drew the ire of the No-Forearm-League in the wake of the debut of the Pro Football Arm-Wrestling Championship here in Sin City. Forget the whole "Rocky"-slash-"Rambo"-thing. Entering the melee incognito...and winning it...was Sylvester Stallone, reprising his role as Lincoln Hawk in "Over the Top". Reversing his ball-cap during matches at the event, the "Italian Stallion" donned the original "rally-cap" before it was made fashionable by the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim baseball team. Scouts for several NFL teams were on-hand, and with injuries mounting for many teams on both sides of the trenches as the regular-season progresses, Sly has his pick of signings as a lineman on either side of the ball!
Despite a reasonable 10-7 (82-66, .554) outing, Vindicator is still walking home from Primm, Nevada at the border of California after the same bunch of folks that exited the Fightin' Illini from Champaign last week made the trek southwest to do likewise to the fab-forecaster on the heels of an 0-fer-5 "best bets" result! In related news, Golden State officials this week kicked-off reclamation of a 30-year-old experimental artificial-reef off the coast of Newport Beach. The ill-conceived, but-originally-well-intended, "environmental-helper" includes, among other items...tires, PVC pipe, fishing nets, Styrofoam and plastic jugs filled to da' brim with remnants of...
THE WEBER KID'S WEEK 9 FORECAST
(Wanting "to be loved...by its sportsbook...as much as we...love it!")
THURS. OCT. 26
OREGON STATE (+21 ½) over #20 Stanford: The Tennessee Volunteers (ironically) brought-in Tim Tebow as a motivational-speaker ahead of their tilt at 'Bama. Tom Treebeard's words went-fer-naught as Rocky Top finished said-game on the wrong-end of a 45-7 decision. Officials in Corvallis have paid fer Timmy Tea-Kettle to talk to visiting-Cardinal right before kickoff of this one. Beavers have recorded consecutive spread-wins after 0-4 start and maybe catch Trees peering-ahead to Wazzou (then again, we may regret not choosing "under 59"!)...Stanford 24 OSU 9
FRI. OCT. 27
Tulane (+11) over #24 MEMPHIS: Tigres came from 17-points behind to edge Houston and cash our "minor upset pick of da' week". Memphis is 4-2 over and covering at 3-1-1 clip over past five tilts, but is currently 0-7-1 as home-chalk on a weekday. UM has walked away with straight-up triumphs three-years running, but covered just once. Wave is 4-2 spread-wise after hard-fought loss to South Florida and made progress on both sides of da' ball in Willie Fritz' initial campaign at the helm. Tigers are 2-0-1 against the line in conference-play already after 6-10 in AAC contests previous two seasons, but scoring D back-pedaled each of past pair of seasons from 19.5 ppg to 28.8 ppg in 2016...Memphis 31 Green Wave 27
OCT. 28
#1 Alabama: IDLE (next vs. Louisiana State)
#2 Penn State (+6) over #6 OHIO STATE: UPSET PICK OF DA' WEEK #1. While cashin' a handful of "minor upset picks, we've been seriously wide-right (or "left") on our actual "upset pick" in back-to-back opportunities. OSU was idle last week. If Coach Franklin is smart, with his team protecting best position in the Top 25 since Halloween of '99, he'll thrust any and every newspaper or internet article regarding the CFP Committee's choice to send da' Buckeyes to the playoffs over his Lions, despite PSU's head-to-head victory and eventual conference-crown, in da' face of each and every player on his roster ahead of this one. Nits are 5-2 ATS and 5-2 "under". Lions have lost 2 of last 3 years straight-up (2-1 ATS) in this series, including embarrassing four-score defeat at da' Shoe in 2015. Bucket-Lists are 5-2 "over", while giving up just 28 collective points over past three tilts on the year and bashed da' scoreboard for 54 or more over past four-consecutive outings, but are 0-fer-last-10 ATS when final margin is plus or minus 7! Lions accounted for OSU's lone regular-season L in 2016, but...WE ARE 23 Buckeyes 19
#3 Georgia (-14) over Florida (@ Jacksonville, FL): Joja' 27 Gators 10
#4 Texas Christian (-6 ½) over #25 IOWA STATE: Cyclones have won five of first seven, including claim-to-fame upset of Oklahoma...in Norman...and have been competitive in remaining contests, covering at solid 4-1-1 clip. Marc Lawrence rains on the Dust Devils' parade, noting they're one-fer-last 13 ATS after facing da' Red Raiders. State fell by 52 in 2014, 24 in 2015 and 21 last year (1-2 ATS). Toadies to-date are supporting Phil Steele's assertions as #2 Most-Improved Team and #7 Surprise Team and have covered all three road-fave chances in 2017. 'Clones improved on both sides of the ball in each of the past two seasons, giving up 31 ppg last year and currently ceding south of 21 ppg on the year so far...Frogs 34 ISU 20
#5 Wisconsin (-24) over ILLINOIS: Badgers piled-on with late semi-chippie, three-pointer to cover minus-24 with just over a half-minute to-play and cash total of "over fitty-and-a half" (see our Black Shirt-segment below). Illini can hang their heads just-a-bit-higher with Scarlet Gnats besting improved Purdue-club 12-10 a week after falling SU to Rutgers. Tribe posted a ATS-dubya covering two-touchdown handicap in road-loss at Minnesota. Varmints won 38-3 in Madison last year and are front-runners for "All-State Good-Hands" post-season award fer Vindy's Picks. Homecoming in Champaign, but Badgers won't look ahead to Indiana...Badgers 41 Illinois 10
Georgia Tech (+14) over #7 CLEMSON: LOCK OF DA' WEEK. Bees have performed entirely-too-well to be handicapped by two scores. Tigers relaxed while 'Jackets rallied, with maybe eyes-forward to this one, to beat mired Deacons. Ramblin' Shrek is 5-0 against the line. Trends support the host here, but Wasps' only outright loss came at Coral Gables by one. Insects are 4-0 ATS in conference play after 4-11-1 spread-tally past two seasons in da' ACC. Tigers have owned this contest two-years running, but don't have Deshaun Watson under center. Wouldn't rule-out an upset...Tigers 24 Tech 23
#8 Miami @ NORTH CAROLINA ("under 50 ½"): 'Heels were little more than paranormal-presence in fitty-nine-seven loss to defensive-minded Virginia Tech. And stand at 1-7 ATS to-date, with only scoreboard- victory in romp over Old Dominatrix. Pelicans, opening with three straight spread-dubyas, show consecutive ATS-losses and host Virgina Tech next. Hurri-cons have ended-up below the total four times in five sets. Ditto UNC. We see North Carolina's only-remaining victory as versus FCS Western Carolina in mid-November...Da' U 30 'Heels 10
#14 NC State (+8) over #9 NOTRE DAME: Leprechauns 29 Wolfpack 24
Texas Tech @ #10 OKLAHOMA ("over 73 ½): Spooners 48 Guns Up 34
#22 WEST VIRGINIA (+7 ½) over #11 Oklahoma State: UPSET PICK OF DA' WEEK #2. In July, Cowpokes' higher-ups were set to challenge Ohio State's grab to trademark the "OSU" logo. Litigation continues as Oregon State, Oshkosh State and Okinawa Southern have yet to weigh-in! In OT...Mounties 34 Cowboys 31
#12 WASHINGTON (-17 ½) over Ucla: Best guess fer "wish we had it back". We also considered the "under 62 ½". Sled Dogs spent the bye week stewing over shocking 13-7 loss at ASU. Bruins wrecked the Mallards 31-14, posting just their second ATS win against five spread-losses. Marc Lawrence in his preseason mag noted UCLA's 1-5 SU tally in true road games in 2016. Bear Cubs have shown zero-improvement, falling 0-3 SUATS to-date on the away-tarmac. Bruins suck following an outright victory over the past two-plus seasons and whiffed four times in four at-bats facing ranked-opponents last year...UDUB 41 Ucla 20
#13 VIRGINIA TECH (-15 ½) over Duke: VT 31 Blue Beezlebubs 10
#15 Washington State (-3) over ARIZONA: Cougars 31 'Cats 24
#16 Michigan State @ NORTHWESTERN ("under 40 ½"): State 17 NW 14
#17 SOUTH FLORIDA (-10 ½) over Houston: Bulls 38 Coogs 16
Austin Peay @ #18 CENTRAL FLORIDA: No line.
#19 Auburn: IDLE (next @ Texas A&M)
#21 Southern Cal (-3) over ARIZONA STATE: Troy 27 Pitchforks 20
#23 LSU: IDLE (next @ Alabama)
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, hopin' to make da' cut with the Atlanta Falcons, Stallone yells "A-T-Lllllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!"
Also BTW...while the diamond-squad noted above coined said head-apparel/rally-monkey, Vindicator now relies on his "rally-anaconda" to bring-home da' spread-prediction wins!
Vindy gave himself a "10" fer his comments on last week's Weeziana State-OLE MIST game in wake of Trump's self-promoting rating after response to Puerto Rico!
On a serious note...back in August, Urban Meter (AKA "U R Beer Man" acronym) conceded Vindy's Alma Mater shoulda' garnered da' playoff berth ahead of his own Buckeyes. Not sure how that plays as bulletin-board material, but...
Meanwhile, the Buckeyes will sport grey unis and black helmets for this one. Soooooooo....they'll look like "spent-matches"???!!! Who's da' "genius" behind 'dat fashion-statement???! We smell left-over pre-game Sulphur???!!!
By the end of the first official fifteen minutes in Happy Valley, da' Wolverines posted a school-record fer flags! Apparently, Philly Iggles scouts took copious notes as the da' bEagles saw a laundromat-full of yellow-hankies simply on their first-possession of Monday night's win vs. Washington!
Next month, the Galleria Mall in nearby Henderson, Nevada will debut a store called The Raider Image, which will sell all-things-soon-to-be-Las Vegas Raiders! Not to be outdone, yer humble narrator will open a similar-venue at the Meadows Mall in northwest Sin City, called Vindy's Homage and will offer products featuring the fab forecaster and his Picks! BTW...free autographed Vegas Vindicator bobbleheads to da' first 10 customers!
With Da' World Serious underway, we wonder...if zombie-batters are given deliberate passes to First Base, are they "The Intentionally-Walking Dead"?
If the King Arthur legend meets the Los Angeles pro-hoops team, would we read about..."The Lady of The Lakers"???!!!
"Wish We Had It Back": K-State covered nicely vs. Oklahoma to thwart our "best guess", but "second-best guess" fer "wish"-pick West Virginia –9 ½ barely-escaped Baylor by 2.
"Locked in a Box": Responding appropriately to their coach's criticism after bad-loss to Cal, the Coogs of Wazzou came through for us, throwing a shutout vs. da' Colorado Bison, upping the lock-record to 7-1 (.875)!
Black Shirt: This week's Atta-Boy Apparel is awarded to Wisky coach Paul Chryst fer trottin'-out K Rafeal Gaglianone, wth da' Badgers already-up 22 points and 36 ticks left to play, to hit successful 33-yard FG, sending the total over 50 ½ and recording one of Vin's 10 correct selections on the week!
Shoppe Talk: Being banished this week to Bud Light's satellite "Pit of Misery" ("Dilly, dilly!") at the Shoppe are the Steers of Texas (0-4, .000), the Leprechauns of Our Lady (1-3, .250), the 'Eers of West Virginia (1-3, .250) and da' Hokies of Virginia Tech (2-4, .333)!
Vindy's Week 9 Best Bets: Last Week: (GASP!) 0-5 (BTW, Vindy's coach told the odious-oracle to "Just long-snap out of it!") Season: 16-15-1 (.516)
Toledo –24 ½ over BALL STATE, KENTUCKY –5 ½ over Tennessee, Virginia +3 ½ over PITT, Buffalo @ AKRON "under 49", Indiana –4 ½ over MARYLAND
