WIDEOUT VOWS TO GIVE FEDS HOFFA...SOON
DETROIT, Michigan (CNN)...Federal authorities apparently weren’t too a far off the mark when they originally dug up a farm in nearby Milford Township earlier this year in search of the remains of notorious Teamster boss, Jimmy Hoffa. Lions’ wide receiver Roy Williams cut a deal recently to provide the location of Hoffa’s body to the FBI, as long as the Feds allow the often-brash pass-catcher to score his inaugural home touchdown of the year. While it’s unknown how Williams acquired knowledge of the location or the body, parameters of the deal suggest Williams may have Hoffa stashed in the padding below one of the Detroit Lions’ stadium goalposts or that the body itself is encased in the concrete base of one of the uprights.
And speaking of bodies, local law enforcement officials in Las Vegas appropriately drew an outline around Vindicator’s Week 1 forecast in chalk as the favorites went an astounding 15-4 ATS, walloping the Weber Kid’s picks (5-14, .263). Vindy hops outta’ the shower after scrubbing the monster truck tread marks off his face and proposes...
THE WEBER KID’S 2006 WEEK 2 FORECAST
(Vindy’s Picks shouldn’t be used if you’re nursing, pregnant or could become pregnant!)
#2 TEXAS over #1 Ohio State giving 2 1/2: Match-up of Longhorns’ defense vs. Buckeyes’ Ted Ginn and Troy Smith! We like the Steers with the home-field ad. No revenge for OSU...Longhorns 27 Buckeyes 17
#3 USC: IDLE (next vs. Nebraska)
#19 Penn State over #4 (tie) NOTRE DAME taking 8: Unimpressive outing by Irish against the Bees has to give Lions-faithful hope. Surely, State’s Anthony Morelli is a better QB than Tech’s Reggie Bell! Joja’ Tech stymied Irish offense with only five returning starters on D. Lions’ defensive backfield is still a question mark, but we think they’ll come through...ND 23 PSU 20
#4 (tie) Auburn over MISSISSIPPI STATE giving 20: Bulldogs played some decent defense vs. South Carolina, but had nothing on "O". Tigers’ stop-squad forces State into second straight goose egg. Another long season comin’ up in Starkville...Auburn 31 MSU 0
Eastern Washington @ #6 WEST VIRGINIA: No line.
#7 FLORIDA over Central Florida giving 23: On June 26, an AP story ran the following headline: "Kidman, Urban Tie Knot in Australia". Hey...way to go Coach Meyer, snagging actress Nicole...oh, wait...! Hate to lay this many against O’ Leary’s Golden Knights but...Gators 41 UCF 13
#8 LSU over Arizona giving 14 ½: Vindy just knows this one’s comin’ back to bite him. Of Wildcats’ five losses by a TD or less last year, none of those were to teams known for defense (well, maybe Utah, but that’s it). Bengals were 1-4 ATS (but all to SEC foes) at home in 2005 and have plenty of room for improvement in several areas...LSU 31 AZ 14
#9 FLORIDA STATE over Troy giving 31: Best guess for "wish I had it back" pick. The ground game is still absent for the Injuns and many of the pass completions vs. Miami were deep-out patterns...pretty, but tough to sustain. ‘Noles are off a short week. Troy starts an ugly four-game road trip...’Chop 41 Troy 7
Central Michigan over #10 MICHIGAN taking 27 ½: Bettors have taken this line up a notch, but perhaps Vindy was overly-optimistic of Big Blue’s desire for a convincing win. Wolverines still in disarray on offense. Chippies gave Boston College a run for its money...Michigan 29 CMU 13
Air Force over #11 TENNESSEE taking 20: Vols got their big victory over Cal courtesy of turnovers and dropped passes. Flyboys excel in away openers in the dog role. Back-to-back sub-.500 records for USAF means the Pilots will knock themselves out against an opponent ranked this high. Rocky Top might be a little flat and just might look ahead to Florida...Tennessee 24 Flight Platoon 9
#12 Georgia over SOUTH CAROLINA giving 3: The word " landmine" is written all over this! Three of the last four between these clubs have been decided by 6 or less, all in favor of Joja’. ‘Cocks struggled to put up points on Mississippi State. Talent edge still goes to UGA. We’ll try the Dawg Pound and hope for a push at worst...Georgia 17 SC 13
#13 Louisville over TEMPLE giving 38 ½: Loss of Louisville star RB Bush won’t be a problem here. Temple isn’t the NCAA version of Pluto, but it oughta’ be...Cards 61 Owls 16
#14 Iowa over SYRACUSE giving 19: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Orange hung around after Wake’s QB broke his leg. Arch-rival Iowa State on deck for the Hawkeyes, but can’t see a distraction there with huge Big Ten game vs. Ohio State still a few weeks away...Iowa 38 ‘Cuse 12
#15 OKLAHOMA over Washington giving 17: We’ll chalk up the single-score win over the Blazers last week to opening game jitters. Expect Adrian Peterson to respond with a monster game following this week’s criticisms. UDUB is still floundering, as evidenced by narrow win over San Jose State...Sooners 35 Washington 7
#16 Virginia Tech over NORTH CAROLINA giving 11 1/2: Frank Beamer’s VT special teams are already in fine form with a couple of kick-blocks under their belts last week!...Hokies 28 UNC 9
Florida A&M @ #17 MIAMI: No line.
#18 Clemson over BOSTON COLLEGE giving 2 ½: This game has gone "off", but we’ll go with last known line. Tigers looked to be in good shape behind 5th-year senior QB Will Proctor. We’re about to find out if Clemson is worthy of Weber’s ACC Title (and very darkhorse national title) pick...Clemson 28 BC 17
FRESNO STATE over #20 Oregon taking 5: This forecaster was willing to spot the Bulldoggies two (per the opening spread), but not a fiver. Mallards often fizzle away from home. Oregon won last year by 3 and in ‘02 by 4, both on the Pond. The preseason experts have already presented the WAC trophy to Boise. We like Fresno...Decoys 31 Fresno 28
Nicholls State @ #21 NEBRASKA: No line.
#22 CAL over Minnesota giving 8 ½: After the Bears’ major disappointment at Rocky Top last week (Vindy got so disgusted with Vols’ quick TD at the opening of the 3rd Quarter, he switched to baseball and vowed to watch no more pigskin until Labor Day!), we’ll give them another try. If Cal isn’t plagued by drops and turnovers, Minny D won’t be able to keep up...Berkeley 38 Gophers 17
UC-Davis @ #23 TEXAS CHRISTIAN: No line.
#24 Texas Tech over UTEP giving 7: Curious line. Somebody doesn’t have a lot of faith in Raiders’ non-5th-year-starting QB. Frankly, we expected a line closer to 17! OK, Tech has a mostly, brand-new secondary, but the defense is getting better. Can’t see Mike Price’s Miners (we luv ya, Mike!) trading enough sixes...Texas Tech 35 UTEP 21
Nevada-Reno over #25 ARIZONA STATE taking 14 1/2: ASU didn’t go out front of I-AA Northern Arizona until the 4th Quarter and the Sun Devils alumni didn’t need any more fuel on the fire after former trigger-man Sam Keller was named starter and demoted in the same week before he transferred to...(GASP!)...Nebraska! Pass defense is a problem on both sidelines...ASU 38 UNR 34
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
More on Hoffa...Weber thinks the whole thing might be a prank set up by Ashton Kutcher just to "punk" Geraldo, a la the Capone tomb thing! Can ya see Geraldo standing by with a camera crew waiting to see the contents as Williams slugs away at the concrete base of the goalpost with a sledge-hammer to reveal...nada, zip, zilch!!!??!!!
One more thought on ESPN’s programming for Baby First TV...would great defensive plays be featured on a segment called "Crib Gems"???!!!
On the big screen...the Catholic Church tries to cover up Mary Magdalene’s bets on Notre Dame in..."The Da’ Vindy Code" (Oh, please, all the religious zealots in the readership need to just take a seat...longtime readers of this forecast had to have known THAT was comin’!!!!)
Week 1 disasters: Let’s hear it for the little guys (translation: I-AA clubs that toppled teams from the "Championship Division!")- Montana State 19-10 over COLORADO, Portland State 17-6 over NEW MEXICO and Richmond 13-0 over DUKE (oh...and..uh...Vindy’s first Saturday prediction tally of 5-14)!
Week 1 Near-disasters: KANSAS ST. 24-23 over Illinois State
Week 1 Bad Omens: WASHINGTON 35-29 over San Josie State and despite a huge blowout win, UNLV gives up two blocked kicks to Idaho State (and pulls a redshirt freshman in street clothes from the stands to come into the game at kicker).
Vindicator kept seeing the phrase "Dominate your draft" on those fantasy football sites, so he stocked up on chips & dips and chains and whips, and other leather accessories....and simply got laughed at by his fellow fantasy team owners!
In May 2006, Paul Gleason passed away. Fans of "The Breakfast Club" remember him as the principal. Las Vegas sports bettors might remember him as the face of the local Coast Casinos "Pick-the-Pros" contest. The actor was once overheard saying "If I have to come back into the sportsbook, I’m bustin’ skulls!"
Last month, the Chargers held practice on deck of the aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan at Coronado Naval Base in San Diego. No word as to whether or not President Bush showed up in helmet and uniform to declare "Practice Accomplished". Looking at sailors, for the first time in football history, a coach said "The name on the back of the uniform is more important than the one on the front of the uniform".
In late January, BaseballSavvy.Com encouraged readers to send in songs swapping the word "glove" for the word "love". That was too good to pass up, so our fearless prognosticator submitted Radar Glove, I’m in Glove With My Car, Muskrat Glorv and All You Need is Glove!
The Tampa Bay D-Rays are contemplating a name change including removal of the word "Devil". What if Webster’s Dictionary did likewise...We might have...Ray-may-care, the Arizona State Sun Rays, the Duke Blue Rays, Hostess Ray Dogs, Ray-to-pay, NJ Rays, Ray’s Advocate, Ray’s Island, Ray’s Triangle and that infamous appetizer...Rayed Eggs!
"Locked in a Box?": The Mallards of Oregon posted a nice 25-point victory over Stanford to start Vindy’s lock record at 1-0.
Shoppe Talk: Those !!@&%#!!! Louisville Cardinals whacked Vindy for the 10th time in the last 12 opportunities!!! The Gators give Weber a forecast win, but has John Edwards standing by to channel in the late Steve Irwin if needed!
Vindy’s Week 2 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-1 Season: 3-1 (.750)
IOWA STATE -14 over unlv, Illinois +111/2 over RUTGERS, NEW MEXICO STATE +9 over New Mexico, COLORADO +2 1/2 over Colorado State, ALABAMA -16 over Vanderbilt
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