PREZ GRABS HEISMAN AFTER ATTENDING COLLEGE GAME
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, New York (CNN)....Mere days after shocking the world by unexpectedly receiving a Nobel Peace Prize, the Commander-in-Chief was in the Big Apple to accept the Heisman Trophy. Obama drew the attention of voters by showing up for Maryland’s game at Wake Forest this past Saturday. The Heisman committee then made a decision to forego the remainder of the season, eliminating previous contenders such as Tim Tebow and Sam Bradford, and presented the hardware to Obama in light of his promises to lead the White House to a national title. Supporters say the award was a coup for the president, who has expressed a desire to have a college football playoff. Critics say it’s too early in Obama’s presidency and he has not even yet taken his staffers to a conference championship. Analysts have predicted even more recognition to be showered upon the president in coming weeks as he’s expected to rent a DVD, order pizza and drop the first puck at a Washington Capitals game, for which he would respectively garner an Oscar, the title of Top Chef and the NHL’s Vezina Trophy for most outstanding goaltender!
We thank longtime friend and former Happy Valley roommate, Dan Antonelli, for providing the main concept for the above news clip! We appreciate the creative assist after the uninspired Week Six 9-7 results (60-47, .560).
NASA crashed a space probe into the moon last week hoping to locate traces of water. Instead, what they found chiseled into the walls of a crater was....
THE WEBER KID’S 2009 WEEK 7 FORECAST
(That’s G!)
WED. OCT. 14
TULSA over #5 Boise State taking 10: A big non-conference tilt for both sides. If the Broncos are going to fall, it’s probably going to be here, knowing that any reasonable challenger left in the WAC will have to pull the upset on the blue carpet. Boise needs a convincing win and has to hope Oregon continues to excel, because after this, there’s no “Wow” factor left on the schedule. Despite 45-0 loss at Oklahoma, Golden Hurricane still on 7-4 spread run vs. non-C-USA squads. Tulsa, currently sharing the lead in C-USA West with SMU at 2-0 (4-1 SU overall), lost by just 8 here last season to BYU and an upset would obviously improve its credentials when bowl bids are issued. We’ll make the conservative call, but we refer the unbelievers to the USC-UDUB and Houston-UTEP games earlier this season...Boise 38 Tulsa 33
THURS. OCT. 15
#8 Cincinnati over #21 SOUTH FLORIDA giving 3: There’s really nothing impressive about Bulls’ five victories to-date and Tony Pike’s passing game will likely flourish in the warmer weather of Tampa. USF starting kicker Maikon Bonani was hospitalized last July after a 35-ft fall from a gondola ride while working at Busch Gardens in Tampa. Bonani kept up his skills by booting footballs between the bedposts of his fellow patients at the far end of the recovery ward...Cincy 28 USF 20
SAT. OCT. 16
Arkansas over #1 FLORIDA taking 25 1/2: Kudos to the Gator D for preventing LSU from grabbing the cover last week. Florida’s clearly not the same team offensively without Tim Teakwood at full throttle. Mr. T looked mighty tentative, minus one or two plays in the 4th Quarter and Florida scored only 13 points despite punting just once. Former Michigan Wolverine QB Ryan Mallett has helped the Hogs put up a lotta’ points. Hate to go against UF at the Swamp, where they’re on 11-3 ATS run, but....Crocs 37 Pork Chops 16
#22 South Carolina over #2 ALABAMA taking 17: ‘Bama found itself in a field-goal fest last week, even though Ole Missed coughed it up five times. Gamecocks defense is good enough to create the same situation. Steve Spurrier owned up to his preseason voting faux pas, noting....”I made a mistake. Vindy’s not only the best forecaster in Las Vegas, I think he’s the best football prognosticator in the nation!” The Ol’ Ball-Coach chalked-up the error to miscommunication with one of his assistant coaches, who originally favored nationally-known tout Phil Steele! ... Tide 20 Poultry 12
#3 Texas over #20 Oklahoma giving 3 ½ (@ Dallas): An early INT deep in Texas territory led to one of the scores the Bison got en route to the cover last week (as we predicted!). Steers have taken the last four ATS, winning three outright (the past two by 7 and 10 points). Sam Bradford’s return certainly bolsters hope for the Sooner Nation, as does UT’s 1-4 spread record thus far this season. Okies have failed to win or cover against either of the other two ranked teams they’ve faced in 2009. Will Bradford’s return open up the running game? Will the Sooners receivers take off the cement gloves that forced OK into multiple FGs vs. Baylor? Steers offense should be well-rested after the special teams and defense accounted for 21of 38 points vs. CU squad that was busy drawing 20 (count ‘em, 20!) yellow hankies! A Red River Runs Through It....’Horns 27 OK 20
#19 GEORGIA TECH over #4 Virginia Tech taking 3: Where would the Hokies be had they actually lost to Nebraska with only a win over Marshall, a squeaker over Duke and the nice triumph over Miami? Bees lost by a FG in Blacksburg last season. They do come into this one following unexpectedly high-scoring affair vs. the ‘Noles. If VT stacks the line to stop the option, QB Nesbitt will find receiver Demaryius Thomas for big plays downfield... Ramblin’ Wreck 24 Va. Tech 22
#6 Southern Cal over #25 NOTRE DAME giving 10 1/2: USC has outscored its last pair of opponents by total of 57-9. Both clubs got last Saturday off, but Troy gets the edge in covers off a bye. This one hasn’t been a game since SoCal edged then-#9 Irish 34-31 in ‘05. Piggy-backing on last week’s Get Smart reference, Vindy rustles up his best Don Adams impersonation and says, “I have to warn you...lining up across from the Trojans offense will be a crack team of highly-trained defensive specialists...OK...how ‘bout a bunch of really tall, really heavy guys?...Fine. Wouldja’ believe...a couple of cheerleaders and an angry kid in a leprechaun suit???!!!”...USC 34 ND 13
#7 Ohio State over PURDUE giving 13 1/2: Wouldn’t be a bad “lock” choice. Boilers own just one victory in six games this year (3-3 ATS, though just 1-3 last 4), but until last week’s road loss at Minnesota (by 15), hadn’t lost by more than 7 (losing by a deuce at Oregon and 3 to the Irish). Buckeyes on 5-0 spread run and 15-3 in last 18 giving the handicap away from the ‘Shoe. Buckeyes were seriously outplayed by Wisconsin last week (among other things, being held to 184 total yards), but we don’t foresee that kinda’ effort from Purdue... State 38 Purdue 17
CENTRAL FLORIDA over #9 Miami taking 14 1/2: Golden Knights got an extra week to prepare for this and while the trends do not support them in this situation, they did lose by just six in Coral Gables last season (with a +2 turnover ratio and 5 sacks vs. ‘Canes QBs) and have that whole intra-Florida rivalry thing in their favor. UCF is 3-2 SU and 4-0 ATS (managing a mere 4-point win over FCS team Samford to open the year). Miami’s just happy to face an opponent that doesn’t have a Top 25 “#” attached to it...Miami 24 UCF 14
#10 LSU: IDLE (next vs. Auburn)
#11 Iowa over WISCONSIN taking 2 1/2: Badgers 2-1 SU in conference play so far and until last week’s loss at Ohio State, had lurked just outside the rankings. Nonetheless, Wisky has struggled to beat the lesser teams on the slate. Three of Hawkeyes’ six-pack of victories have been by 3 or less and Iowa’s failed to bring home the money two straight weeks. This time, we’ll stay with our darkhorse Big Tentacle champion pick, who will thrive again on the opponents’ mistakes (got 5 turnovers from Michigan) and ruin Homecoming in Madison...Iowa 17 Cheeseheads 16
#12 TCU over Colorado State giving 23: We thought about taking State, who had a final period lead on Utah, and the points. But the Toads have been traditionally dominant as chalk in Ft. Worth, even against MWC teams. Rams are go-against when away from home and lost SU at surprising Idaho. CSU has beaten the line once in last four vs. the Top 25. Frogs floundered a bit last week, yielding three turnovers to Air Force team that excels in that area. Not the same threat here....Frogs 34 CSU 8
#13 Oregon: IDLE (NEXT @ Washington)
Minnesota over #14 PENN STATE taking 16 1/2: Lions got their only spread win two weeks ago at Illinois and have yet to reward bettors when playing at Beaver Stadium. Gophers have covered four of last five in Happy Valley and love getting double-digits. Homecoming for the Nifty Lions, who actually let I-AA Eastern Illinois reach the State 9-yard line prior to returning a pick 91 yards for a score just before the half...PSU 24 Gerbils 13
#15 NEBRASKA over Texas Tech giving 11: Scary laying double-digits with the Huskers against a reasonable opponent. Big Dread scored all of its 27 points in the 4th Quarter at Mizzou after bumbling its way to a 12-0 hole. Raiders return to haunt your host after whacking back-to-back cupcakes New Mexico and K-State. Nebraska’s still perfect 5-0 against the line. They get the vote here as they climb toward a potential Big 12 North title. Tech grabbed a win in extra frames last year 37-31. There’s plenty of room at the Shoppe, fellas!...Huskers 49 Tech 34
#16 OKLAHOMA STATE over Missouri giving 7: The loss of WR Dez Bryant has hurt the Cowboys (as evidenced by mediocre win over Texas A&M) and State’s dropped three straight against the line. Bryant could be back for this one after being forced to watch Jim Carrey’s “Liar, Liar” over and over and over by the NCAA. Tough stretch of schedule for the Tigers, who got Nebraska last week and face Texas after this one. Then-#3 Mizzou lost at home last season 28-23....OKSU 27 Mizzou 16
#17 Kansas over COLORADO giving 9 1/2: Interesting line. Bison led Texas 14-3 at halftime on strength of aforementioned INT vs. perhaps-looking ahead-Longhorns, but then conceded 35 unanswered points. Oklahoma awaits KU, who might come out and just run the ball early to avoid the same first-half debacle. Buffaloes went from 2-4 ATS as home dogs in Coach Hawkins first year to 2-1 last season. Buffs will start a new QB this week as Cody Hawkins grabs some pine for throwing an interception at the Texas 8-yard line...Jayhawks 27 CO 14
#18 Brigham Young over SAN DIEGO STATE giving 17 ½: Aztecs were one of Idaho’s victims earlier this season, losing by two touchdowns as a 3 1/2-point favorite and their only I-A victory came two weeks ago against WAC bottom-feeder New Mexico State. SDSU is, however, 3-1 ATS on the year, but squeaked by two of the three by a half-point. State’s lousy as a home dog getting more than two scores, lost by 21 here in ‘07 and by 29 last year in Provo. Cougars lock in bowl eligibility with a win (like there was any doubt?) and could look ahead to TCU, but are 4-2 ATS this year and 2-0 vs. the conference...BYU 34 SDSU 9
#23 Houston over TULANE giving 17: This got lock consideration too. We’re not sure why this line dropped in favor of Tulane, who lost by 21 last week to Marshall and by 24 in opener vs. Tulsa. Green Wafers have three covers in past 16 overall games. Coogs, who won 42-14 last season, should light it up early and often...Coogs 44 Tulane 20
#24 Utah over UNLV giving 16: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Just a couple reasons to not lay da’ points here...Utes haven’t beaten anybody by this many except Utah State at home to start the year, Utah is 0-2-1 in its last previous three road trips this season and the Rubbles have covered three of the last four in this series. The young Utah offense isn’t scoring a lot....24 points each in three of its five to-date, but UNLV is on 0-4 spread spiral and puts the MWC #2 pass offense on the field vs. Utes #1 MWC pass D (#13 nationally). Rebels own the conference basement across the board in all defensive categories. If, in fact, the D hasn’t quit (as some have suggested), then its’s just really, REALLY bad. In its Sunday breakdown of the UNLV game vs. BYU, the Las Vegas Review-Journal incorrectly noted the Mormons lead at the 8:17 mark of the 4th Quarter as “BYU 529, UNLV 21". It only felt that way... Utes 34 UNLV 13
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
The aforementioned place-kicker for South Florida also occasionally warmed-up alone by kicking the ball into the underside of some guy’s oxygen tent!
The Cincinnati Bengals athlete formerly-known-as Chad Johnson will bears the name “Ochocinco” on the back of his jersey because that’s the way it was written on the form used to legally change his name. Meanwhile, for the same reason, the B-side of your humble narrator’s upper-torso apparel shows.... “Vindy K. Torr”
The stalker who videotaped ESPN sportscaster Erin Andrews undressing in her hotel room this past summer was in court recently. Folks at NASA would not return media phone calls, but the space agency did report the mysterious disappearance of yet-another tape, allegedly containing footage of the Apollo 11 lunar landing!
Ever since being busted for using a banned substance, allegedly ingested through a vitamin supplement, Boston Red Sox star David Ortiz has been known to teammates and fans alike as...“Big Poppy-Seed”
In August, Blackhawks forward Patrick Kane and his cousin were ordered to apologize to a Buffalo cabbie, whom they reportedly punched. The cousin contritely complied and Kane even offered to provide some memorabilia, including an autographed puck, which he personally delivered...via slap-shot to the taxi-driver’s mid-section!
Imagine Vindy’s disappointment upon learning this summer’s latest movie foray starring Ashton Kutcher, “Spread”, had zippo to do with sports gambling and was actually just a chick-flick!
Black Shirt: We gift-wrap the ebony undergarment this week for Air Force QB Connor Dietz in honor of his 8-yard touchdown run to give the Pilots the cover vs. TCU with under a minute left.
“Locked in a Box?”: Arkansas’ upset of Auburn drops the lock record to 3-3 (.500).
Shoppe Talk: Texas and LSU finished on the predicted side of the spread to go to 1-4 (.200) and 2-4 (.667), respectively, leaving the Taxidermy Shoppe temporarily vacant. But...uh...don’t leave the state, guys!
Vindy’s Week 7 Best Bets: Last Week: 2-3 Season: 12-13 (.480)
Wake Forest +7 over CLEMSON, Akron +9 over BUFFALO, Navy -8 ½ over SMU, NORTH TEXAS -1 ½ over FLORIDA ATLANTIC
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