HILTON AVOIDS JAIL TIME
LAS VEGAS, Nevada (MSNBC)....Paris Hilton dodged a major bullet...for now...when felony possession charges were dropped and probation was ordered instead last week by a judge here in Sin City. The hotel heiress wiggled off the hook after an initial arrest in August turned out to be bogus when the contents of a small, plastic baggie turned out to simply test positive for traces of Vindy’s Picks, not cocaine as originally-suspected. Hilton at the time of her arrest denied owning the Chanel bag and reached for Chapstick, but the container holding the minuscule pieces of the Weber Kid’s Week One forecast accidentally dropped out of the accessory bag and was confiscated by law enforcement then sent off for lab testing. Witnesses say they saw Hilton’s current squeeze cutting up some papers with a razor blade and scooping the remains into the bag. The incident would cost her beau his job and got the celebrity herself black-listed by sportsbooks at several prominent casino-resorts around town. Witnesses did, however, note they saw lots of tiny shards of paper around Paris’ nostrils.
On Sunday, retired Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen pronounced BP’s Macondo well “effectively dead” (this was also certified by the Coroner of Munchkinland, who noted “it’s not meeeeerrrrrrrely dead, it’s really most sinceeeerrrrrrely dead!”). Following Saturday’s results of 7-13 (21-31-1, .404) for Vindy’s Picks, apparently so is...
THE WEBER KID’S 2010 WEEK 4 FORECAST
(Sponsored by Old Spice...”Pick like a man, Man!”)
THURS. SEPT. 23
PITT over #19 Miami taking 3: Panthers are hangin’ around the fringes of the Top 25.‘Canes have been a toss-up proposition layin’ points on the road. Miami’s allowed just two rushing touchdowns, both to Ohio State, and could keep tabs on Dion Lewis. But how many picks will Jacory Harris throw this week? Panthers had won 8 straight home games before losing 45-44 to Cincinnati in 2009 regular season finale and are now 9-1 SU at Heinz Field after dropping New Hampshire two weeks ago...Panthers 24 Miami 20
FRI. SEPT. 24
#4 Texas Christian over SMU giving 17 1/2: Even if the Ponies hadn’t allowed a 68-yard pass play for TD late in the game, they still wouldn’t have covered big line vs. Wazzou. SMU has covered 3 of last 4 in this series, including an outright win in 2005...TCU’s only loss in its 11-1 season. Ponies are in third year under June Jones and are improving on both sides of the ball, but are young in the backfield. That said, SMU lost by 25 last year and by 41 in 2008. Ponies lost by 7 at Texas Tech to open the year, but Red Raiders don’t play D like the Froggies... TCU 41 SMU 17
SAT. SEPT. 25
#10 ARKANSAS over #1 Alabama taking 7: Revisiting a stat we noted in Week Two, only six of Tide’s last 31 games now have finished with a single-digit margin. This match-up hasn’t been competitive the last 2 years, with Tide winning 35-7 in 2009 and 49-14 in 2008. Pigs gave up 10 total points in first two games vs. lower-tier clubs then 24 to Joja’ last week. ‘Bama can hurt Arkansas with not one, but two potential Heisman winners at RB. Razorbacks best shot is to goad Tide into a track meet. Tide has gone 12-6 ATS in conference, 12-3 on the road and 9 of last dozen facing the Top 25. A spread win here for Alabama would finish first season in over a decade without a September ATS loss, but Tide visits a major offense that’s not being guided by a true freshman...’Bama 35 Pigs 31
#2 OHIO STATE over Eastern Michigan giving 43: Fine. Whatever. State’s opponents continue to make enough mistakes to take themselves outta’ the spread wins. Eagles, who went victory-less last year and with their next cover will equal their ATS win total for all of last year, don’t reside in Ohio and State only has trip to Champaign, Illinois next week for conference opener, so we’ll just call it...Ohio State 49 EMU 3
#24 Oregon State over #3 BOISE STATE taking 16: Beavers hung tough and lost but covered in 9-point defeat vs. the “other” BCS-buster, TCU. Louisville managed to keep WR James Rodgers contained, limiting him to 37 total offensive yards, while brother Jacquizz went for 132 yards and accounted for three OSU scores. Beavers still haven’t coughed up a turnover. They’ll need that kinda’ ball security to have a chance here. Boise just 6-4-1 giving points at home the last two years, but closest thing to an actual SU defeat on the blue field over the past three seasons was 69-67 win vs. Reno in October 2007. Boise did yield 30 to the Hokies....Potato-Heads 31 Beavers 18
#5 Oregon over ARIZONA STATE giving 11: We looked at this for lock. Ducks are making good use of one of the few big school offenses that doesn’t look like a locomotive being pulled to a start from a standstill by some Swiss weight-lifter wearing a yoke in a “World’s Strongest Man” competition. Sun Devils could be flat after blocked XP that cost ‘em a late tie vs. the Badgers. Gang Green has allowed just 13 points sandwiched between two shutouts and have covered five in a row vs. ASU...Oregon 41 ASU 20
South Dakota State @ #6 NEBRASKA: No line.
Ucla over #7 TEXAS taking 17: Steers O is still somewhat stuck in first gear under new QB Garrett Gilbert, but two touchdowns in first 6 ½ vs. Tech is encouraging. UCLA is now on a 14-3 ATS run vs. ranked teams after posting 31 unanswered points while knocking out the first two strings of Houston’s quarterbacks. Bruins are just 3-7 as road dogs in their past 10 opportunities while ‘Horns are now 1-6 vs. non-cponference teams, blowing both tries in 2010. Red River Shootout looms for UT...Cattle-Call 27 Bruins 16
#8 Oklahoma over Cincinnati giving 17 (@ Paul Brown Stadium, Cincinnati, OH): Sooners have had two close calls now after nearly tanking a 20-point 4th Quarter lead vs. Air Force and while OK has been no great shakes on neutral turf (3-8-1 ATS), UC’s once-potent offense doesn’t seem to have the pieces to stay this close, especially now losing TE Guidugli, who played QB not long ago. This one’s being played at the home venue of the Cincy Bengals. Maybe if Ochocinco and T.O. suit up for the Bearkats....Oklahoma 38 Cincinnati 13
Kentucky over #9 FLORIDA taking 14: As predicted, Gators didn’t get rolling until the second half last week vs. Tennessee, but we got bitten by the half-point. ‘Cats quietly putting together a solid season at 3-0 SU/ATS, albeit vs. lesser teams, but could catch Florida peeking ahead to ‘Bama...Florida 28 Kentucky 20
Austin Peay @ #11 WISCONSIN: No line.
#17 AUBURN over #12 South Carolina giving 1 ½: Tigers are on borrowed time, having rallied from 14-point hole vs. Clemson to win in OT despite being out-gained, out-first-downed, out-possessed, more penalized and minus-2 in turnovers. Gamecocks beat FCS Furman 38-19 last week, but QB Garcia did throw a pair of picks. Again, we’d prefer the “under” here, but think Auburn finds a way to hold serve at home...Auburn 21 KFC 19
#13 UTAH over San Jose State giving 32: The good news for the Spartans is that they’re scoring progressively more points each week (3, 14, 16), while opponent scoring has decreased likewise (48, 27, 11). The bad news is that those latest tallies came in 16-11 win over I-AA Southern Utah. Utes looking good under direction of their back-up QB, but did win by just 10 last year at San Jose...Utah 44 SJSU 9
#14 ARIZONA over California giving 7: Wildcats joined the Sooners in the almost-wasted-a-20-point-edge category, but held on to beat Iowa with some big plays. Three-touchdown loss to Nevada-Reno does not inspire confidence in da’ Berkeley Bears. AZ has been solid bet in PAC-10 play at 17-9-1 the last three years...Arizona 23 Cal 13
#15 LSU over #22 West Virginia giving 6 ½: Okay, Bengals’ win over MSU was a field goal fest, but it was a field goal fest played for four straight quarters. Tigers snared five interceptions last week. Those would be handy this week vs. the Mounties, who threw for four scores while blowing up Vindy’s upset-of-da’-week pick vs. Maryland...LSU 24 WVU 14
#16 Stanford over NOTRE DAME giving 3 ½: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. The last three years, this series has been decided by exactly 7 points in either direction. Leprechauns have now failed to hold late 4th Quarter leads and paid the price for that. Shouldn’t be a problem here as we expect the Trees to lead throughout the game. Stanford racked up 535 yards of offense vs. Wake Forest last week and did so without a 100-yard rusher or receiver, spreading the ball around nicely. Catholics went on 4-game SU losing streak in 2009 by total of 17 points and now have back-to-back defeats by combined 7 points. Uh-oh...Stanford 31 ND 20
#18 IOWA over Ball State giving 28: Cards won just two games in 2009 and because they lost to Liberty earlier, they’re still looking for the victory that will tie last season’s total. BSU has covered 3 of last 4 vs. the Big Tendril conference, but those were all games against Indiana and Illinois. Hawkeyes rally didn’t quite get there at Arizona. Not a good thought for the Redbirds....Iowa 42 BSU 6
WASHINGTON STATE over #20 Southern Cal taking 24: Just two weeks after Trojans played...and almost lost to...MAXIM’s second-worst college football team of this season, they now face said-mag’s Numero Uno worst team. USC is 3-0 straight up, but 0-3 against the spread. Wazzou lost by 21 last year, getting about 45 points and lost respectably at SMU in Week Three. Troy doesn’t seem interested. Cougars just might be...SoCal 30 WSU 20
Bowling Green over #21 MICHIGAN taking 24: How good is Michigan really? UConn got belted by Temple last week, the Frightenin’ Irish are 1-2 and Big Blue led I-AA UMass by 4 at halftime in Ann Arbor en route to a 5-point victory. Can’t lay over three touchdowns vs. Bowling Green squad that’s flying below the radar at 3-0 ATS following close road defeats at Troy and Tulsa and solid win over Marshall last week...Wolverines 31 Falcons 16
#23 PENN STATE over Temple giving 16: Owls posted nice two-TD win over UConn last week, but struggled against I-AA Villanova and had to win in OT over Central Michigan and have been on the wrong side of the line 7 of the last 10 times facing the Lions. Temple did cover last year on the heels out SU loss to aforementioned ‘Nova team. TU is 6-3 as a road dog the past two seasons, but those spread wins came against other MAC teams and Navy. NYC Library records show George Washington borrowed in 1789, but never returned, two books...”Law of Nations” and....”Joe Pa: The Biography”!!!...Lions 29 Hooters 10
Northern Colorado @ #25 MICHIGAN STATE: No line.
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
Another week of forecast losses in the teens and we’ll be soliciting a certain Senator-wannabe from Delaware to do do...that voo-doo....she did...so well...(Oh sure...in high school???!!! Hmmm...Sabrina, Da’ Teenage Witch??!! “So... if she weighs as much as a duck...” “Then...she’s..made of...wood...” “And thereforrrre...” “A witch!!!!) and conjure up Vindy’s Picks from a candle-lit pentagram! (BTW, anybody else out there think Christine O’Donnell looks like a cross between a younger Sally Field understudy and Rachael Ray’s evil twin???!!!!)
Vindicator turns in his PSU alumni membership card and switches conference allegiance to the Sun Belt after the Big Tendinitis went a collective 0-5 for Vindy’s Week Three picks!!!!!
Crash-test dummies, Vince and Larry, who promoted auto safety for 25 years are headed to Smithsonian’s Museum of American History. Meanwhile, lesser-known tackling dummies, Larry’s brother Darryl...and his other brother Darryl...continue to flounder in relative obscurity on the practice field!
Chad Ochocinco and T.O. now play together for the Bengals and were dubbed “Batman and Robin”. We’re thinking the Dynamic Duo turns out to be closer to Bonnie & Clyde (and Chad Ochocinco’s spiffy, new “Batman-like ride” ends up bullet-riddled! Give us the Black Beauty, the Mach V or the Gruesome Twosome’s Creepy Coupe from the Wacky Races anyday!)
If a base-runner’s pants hang half-way down his ass, is he “off with the plumber’s crack of the bat?!”
World (hic)Cup Part IV- Following end of World Cup competition, Vindy exchanged jerseys with a bookie (And man, was she hot!). Paul the German Octopus correctly picked World Cup winners, including Spain in final match. He finished 8-0 (and was subsequently “retired” by his bookie! (In fact, we’re told “Paul sleeps wit’ da’ fishes.”). South African vuvuzela horns trumpeted an unrelenting beehive hum and annoyingly drowned out crowd sounds. Next time the U.S. hosts the World Cup, we oughta’ blare the banjo music from “Deliverance” all game long over the PA system! (Vindy’s been hearing that same music every time he tunes into Sportscenter to get scores lately!). A July ish of ESPN: Da’ Mag reported Colombian police seized a replica World Cup trophy made of cocaine. (Hmmmm, if a faux Sears trophy was to be constructed likewise, BCS could stand for “Bowl Cocaine Series”!). Announcers made a point of relating that soccer players often go by a single name, including one known simply as “Kaka”. Funny, Vindy’s often heard his recent picks referred to by exactly that same name as well!
Black Shirt: The highly-coveted ebony undergarment goes to Massachusetts Minutemen QB Kyle Havens for three 4th Quarter touchdowns that supported Vindy’s Week Three guidance to Ann Arbor faithful to “hold your breath” as Michigan escaped UMass with the previously-noted 5-point triumph.
“Locked in a Box?”: Houston’s rushing game did not pick up the slack after Case Keenum was lost again to injury and the Cougars’ outright loss drops the lock record to 1-2 (.333).
Shoppe Talk: Guess who. Buckeyes now firmly-entrenched at 0-3. The Steers of Texas (0-3) also spend another week. And Texas Tech gets an invite after falling to the Longhorns just on historical principles!
Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 1-3 Season: 4-9 (.308)
Nevada-Reno -3 over BYU, Virginia Tech +4 over BOSTON COLLEGE, NC State +9 over GA TECH, Idaho -7 ½ over COLORADO STATE, Southern Miss -5 ½ over LA TECH, Florida International +11 over MARYLAND
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