SCIENTOLOGY BEHIND NFL COMBINE
INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana (MSNBC)…It appears to be a case of “she doth protest too much” for Kirstie Alley, who jumped to the aid of fellow Scientologist Tom Cruise following accusations the pair’s church-of-choice set up bogus movie auditions in 2004 with the real intent of finding a mate for the diminutive actor. It was discovered the former Cheers and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan actress, herself, had help from the religious institution to recruit potential husbands or boyfriends via the 2000 NFL Combine, after the demise of her two-year relationship with James Wilder in 1999. Players were lured to the local yearly pre-draft extravaganza, with the promise of being able to show-off their wares to pro scouts, but in reality, had their responses and reactions to a battery of very personal questions, including details of their intimate conquests, secretly-recorded under the guise of the Wonderlic test. Athletes with already-known leanings toward the views of the church were actually punished, by being made to clean the locker room with toothbrushes, if their performances were deemed “inadequate” and were reportedly told their “duty” was “not only to please their wives, but also to toe the line-of-scrimmage for Scientology!”
Enjoying the success of the first two weeks, Vindicator forgot all about the bookies’ legendary closing-speed and faltered to 5-12 for Week Three (27-26, .509). The five forecast wins were one higher than former LSU player Morris Claiborne’s score on the actual Wonderlic test, putting the respective football IQs of the two somewhere around “Gatorade bucket”, which also happens to be the beverage-container responsible for making the selections in…
THE WEBER KID’S 2012 WEEK 4 FORECAST
(More exposed lately than Kate Middleton!)
THURS. SEPT. 20
#24 BOISE STATE (-7) over Brigham Young: Broncos didn’t cover a home-game last season, but did so this year by belting Miami-Oh My by 27 (after trailing 9-8 at halftime) in Week Three. Coogs made “upset” loss to Utah interesting with multiple reviews in a 22-hankie flag-fest before falling. BSU not stellar as non-Saturday chalk, but lost its first game on that funky blue turf since 2005 last season…Boise State 27 BYU 17
SAT. SEPT. 22
Florida Atlantic (+50) over #1 ALABAMA: Turnovers are killin’ teams vs. Alabama. Tide got five of ‘em from Tyler Wilson-less Soooeey Pigs in 52-nada romp. Backin’ the Owls in game at Joja’ was one things we did right last week. FAU had been dismal double-digit non-conference ‘dog entering 2012 and a poor bet as a road dog in general. Birds haven’t topped four spread-wins in a season since 2004, but are 1-1 in FBS play thus far and have improved on both sides of the ball. ‘Bama’s not special laying points at home. With just Old Mist on-deck, we wonder if Tide has a third-straight shut-out in ‘em. We think not…Alabama 51 FAU 6
#2 Louisiana State (-20) over AUBURN: Auburn had excusable losses to Clemson and Mississippi State, but almost did a face-plant vs. upstart Weeziana-Monroe just a week after the Red Hawks dropped Arkansas! War Eagle is now 0-fer-3 ATS. Bengals make their first trip away from Baton Rouge and face Auburn squad that has now won 21 of its last 24 games at Jordan-Hare (a pair defeats to ‘Bama and 1 to Kentucky!). State lost 24-17 here in 2010… LSU 37 Auburn 14
#22 Arizona (+23 ½) over #3 OREGON: Mallards 42 ‘Cats 34
#10 Clemson (+14) over #4 FLORIDA STATE: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #1. Though the Clemson D took a step backward last year, keeping just three opponents under 14 (including Virginia Tech twice) after holding 6 of 8 ACC foes under 17 in 2010. Tigers have beaten the ‘Noles twice in the past three years, covering the whole trey. Clemson’s top WR Sammy Watkins returned from suspension in last week’s rout of Furman. They’ll need him. FSU has allowed three total points in as many games, but get tested here…Clemson 24 FSU 20
Vanderbilt (+15) over #5 GEORGIA: Joja’ 20 Vandy 12
#15 Kansas State (+14) over #6 OKLAHOMA: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK #2. We paid the price last week for ignoring the little voice in our head that was screamin’ “take Mean Green and da’ points over K-State”. Purple Persians, this week, are back in preferred role as road dogs, in which they’ve covered 14 of last 19. Sooners, again, getting preseason hype, haven’t come out strong, winning just 24-7 at UTEP, but still have their place among the top teams in multiple offensive and defensive categories on the strength of 69-13 win over FCS Florida A&M. KSU QB Colin Klein should keep the OK defense busy long enough. “Stoops... I…did it again!”…Wildcats 24 OK 23
Missouri @ #7 SOUTH CAROLINA (-10): KFC 30 Mizzou 17
#8 WEST VIRGINIA (-28) over Maryland: Mountaineers 45 Terps 12
#9 Stanford: IDLE (next @ Washington 9/27)
#11 NOTRE DAME (-6) over #18 Michigan: Irish 24 Michigan 16
#12 Texas: IDLE (next @ Oklahoma State)
California (+16) over #13 USC: Trojans 33 Bears 30
Kentucky (+24 ½) over #14 FLORIDA: It’s just too hard to lay this kinda’ lumber with Gators, who’ve started slowly. Game vs. Tennessee was close for more than three quarters, so final in Florida’s 17-point win is deceptive. KY put up a decent effort in the opener before Louisville managed to separate itself, then bombed Kent State before falling in OT to rising-Western Kentucky Hilltoppers squad. Crocs have made laughers outta’ this one the past three seasons, winning 48-10, 48-14 and 41-7. KY is very young on offense, but…Florida 29 Kentucky 9
#16 OHIO STATE (-37 ½) over Alabama-Birmingham: OSU was fortunate that Cal missed three FGs in 7-point to the Buckeyes (we kinda’ thought the Bears’ kicker looked an awful lot like Lions placekicker Sam Fickens! Maybe there was an involuntary transfer from the alma mater?!). UAB, led by 1st-year coach McGee (formerly the OC at Arkansas [and we know how the Razorbacks’ season has gone to-date, don’t we???!!!]) lost by 43 at South Carolina. Cal RB Bigelow racked up 160 yards on four carries vs. State, but Blazers play in C-USA, not the PAC-12….OSU 48 UAB 7
Virginia (+17 ½) over #17 TCU: Frogs 21 Cavs 13
#19 UCLA (-10) over Oregon State: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. Courtesy of a postponed opener and a bye last week, Beavers have played just one game, so there’s not much of a gauge. Marc Lawrence’s Playbook.Com does note State has covered last five games with rest. Bruins are one of four teams at 3-0 ATS vs. Bowl Subdivision opposition (Ball State, Northwestern and Toledo are the others) and walloped Houston despite committing five turnovers, riding an offense that ranks #2 nationally in yardage and averaging almost 41 ppg. We think State’s 10-7 upset of Wisconsin says more about the Badgers (or perhaps the Big Tenuous conference) than it does about the Beavers…UCLA 34 Oregon State 17
#20 Louisville (-13) over FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL: We’ve already seen FIU’s fellow Stun Belt conference members Western Kentucky and, as noted above, Weeziana-Monroe, respectively take out Kentucky and Arkansas, with ULM nearly upsetting Auburn last week as well. But we expect a bit a rebound by the faves, ATS-wise, after the first three weeks went by-and-large to the ‘dogs. Panthers beat Louisville 24-17 on the road in 2011. Cardinals won’t look past dangerous minor-league team here. Could end up one of those 17-10 tilts, but we’re callin’… Louisville 29 FIU 14
#21 MICHIGAN STATE (-32 ½) over Eastern Michigan: MSU 45 EMU 7
#23 MISSISSIPPI STATE (-34 ½) over South Alabama: Shocker. Yet-another SEC West club climbs into the rankings, and faces Jaguars team in its inaugural campaign in the FBS. Bulldogs lousy laying more than two touchdowns, scraping by Troy (+16) 30-24 last week. South ‘Bama covered 31-7 loss at NC State and had one of the better defenses in FCS competition last year. State hasn’t seen a line this big since 2009-opener and hasn’t knocked-off anybody by this margin except Memphis and FCS Jackson State over the last two years. Best guess for “wish I had it back”…MSU 48 Jaguars 7
Idaho State @ #25 NEBRASKA: No line.
BETWEEN THE HASHMARKS
BTW, making Kirstie’s “short list” during the year-in-question…Nifty Lions’ alumni Courtney Brown and LaVar Arrington, who went first and second, #8-pick Plaxico Burress and kicker Sebastian Janikowski, grabbed in the 17th-spot of da’ first round!
Damn-good thing Lions toppled Navy (including successful completion of three outta’ four PATs) this week ‘cuz given the state of its kicking game, the alma mater was about to be allowed, as FG or extra-point situations arise, to designate a player to flick one of those triangular, paper footballs thru the “goalposts” as formed by a designated opposing player holding their index-fingers tip-to-tip, with thumbs raised, at the end of a very long rectangular table!
When not in class or practicing their routines for the big games, Buckeyes cheerleaders have been known to peruse “Fitty Shades of Scarlet & Grey”!
Tim Tebow spent some time last January backstage with the cast of aquatic Cirque Du Soleil show “O” here in Vegas. Maybe he learned some nifty tricks for escaping a collapsing pocket via the lines attached to the wires that support the overhead-camera shots! He’d have to replace the usual eye-black with kabuki make-up though!
Mere weeks after the reality-TV show featuring Chad Johnson and Eva Lozada was cancelled after a reported incident of domestic violence, the former-footballer’s soon-to-be ex-spouse was seen canoodling with a certain U.S. Olympic speed-skater. Executives at VH1 have since jumped at the chance to broadcast…”Ev and Ohno”!!!!
If we swapped-out Peyton Manning for a certain New England Patriots quarterback in the music-video we suggested earlier this season, we could change the title of one of the featured songs to… “Call Me, Brady!”
“Bounty…the quicker-knocker-downer!” Official paper-towel of the N’awlins Saints!
BTW, the folks calling NFL games aren’t really officials, but they did stay at a Holiday Inn Express Saturday night!
Black Shirt: Seriously-slim pickins this week, but we hand over the ultimate-undergarment to back-up Joja’ QB Christian LeMay, who tossed a late-game pick-six that allowed Florida Atlantic to grab the backdoor cover as one of our very few forecast wins!
“Locked in a Box?”: Hokies fell to Pittsburgh, dropping the lock tally to (GASP!)…0-3????!!!
Shoppe Talk: The USC Trojans are firmly-entrenched at 0-3 (.000).
Vindy’s Week 4 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-3 Season: 8-7 (.533)
Nevada-Reno -9 over HAWAII, BALL STATE +10 ½ over South Florida, WAZZOU -18 ½ over Colorado, NORTH TEXAS (PK) over Troy
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