CUP
SCANDAL TOUCHES SPORTS WORLD
LUBBOCK,
Texas (AP)…As if the railings of Joshua Feuerstein
against Starbucks for eliminating
previously-included Christmas imagery on its holiday coffee cups wasn’t enough,
followers of the evangelist have now targeted sports teams that have beverage-vendors serve java in plain red
containers. On the current hit-list are the local Red Raiders, in addition to
Major League Baseball’s Cincinnati Reds and Boston Red Sox. Hockey’s Detroit
Red Wings have also been put on notice that a certain population of the country
will not tolerate the so-called “War on Christmas”! The protests, as far south
as Alabama, have been met with satirical responses from Tuscaloosa faithful, who
now refer to their team as the Crimson Yuletide!
In the two weeks following our stellar 16-6 result,
we’ve quickly moved back to the norm, including the “meh” 8-7 outing in Week 12
(112-104-3 (.519), finally hittin’ the dreaded double-century milestone (at
least 100 wins and at least 100 losses). As we give thanks this week, may yer
bird be moist, yer cranberries jellied and yer heart full of…
THE
WEBER KID’S 2015 WEEK 13 FORECAST
(Relegatin’
Donald Trump, and other politicians
followin’ da’ picks, to…a holding-pen!)
FRI.
NOV. 27
#3
Iowa (-1 ½) over NEBRASKA: Hawkeyes will play for the
conference championship and maybe more, despite 1-3 ATS skid. Iowa lost 37-34
last season in this one. Nebraska comes in rested and needs a victory to gain
post-season eligibility. Iowa’s covered last 8 contests layin’ points on the
road. Including big win over Michigan State, Corncobs have won just three of
six this year in Lincoln…Iowa 34 Children of Da’ Corn 27
#15
TCU (+1 ½) over #7 Baylor: Toads went big, but ended up goin’ home
anyway with failed two-point conversion that let Oklahoma hang on after TCU
outscored da’ Sooners 22-6 in the second half last week. Froggies’ crazy 61-58
defeat by Da’ Bears in 2014 kept ‘em outta’ the inaugural CFP. Neither side is
playin’ with a starter behind center. Tadpoles’ last loss in Ft. Worth came to
these Bears in 2013, a span of 12 games. Baylor knocked-off 6 of last 8 Top 25
opponents. The Big 12 round-robin carnage continues…TCU 34 Baylor 31
#16
Navy (+1) over #21 HOUSTON: LOCK OF DA’ WEEK. We
rarely go to the well in back-to-back weeks with the same team, but Cougars are
coming off lowest scoring output since caressing the scoreboard for…um… um…well…12…vs. Central Florida early last year.
Since loss at South Bend, Middies have been plowing through the competition,
winning five straight by an average of better-than-21 points-per-game. Coogs
were upset at (GASP!) UConn last weekend and back-up quarterback Kyle Postma is
probably making just his second start across the field from Ensigns’ record-setting
senior QB Keenan Reynolds. Even if Greg Ward can go for UH…Boat People 41 Houston 30
Oregon
State (+35) over #18 OREGON: Second choice for “lock
of da’ week”… Rubber Duckies 51
Beavers 27
#20
Washington State @ WASHINGTON: OFF
#24
TOLEDO (-8) over Western Michigan: We’re just happy we
didn’t have to split a gut to analyze this one and post a selection on Monday night ahead of a Tuesday-tilt considerin’ da’ MAC’s
penchant for late-season, early-week scrimmages!...Spaceships 44 WMU 34
SAT.
NOV. 28
#1
Clemson @ SOUTH CAROLINA (Under 55 ½): Da’ Chicken Nuggets
lost a 23-22 home-contest last week to I-AA Citadel. Can’t help but wonder if
the Gamecocks have already given up on the Ol’-soon-to-be-retired Ball Coach.
Tigers’ D continues to show fine form. A victory for Swinney’s Sabretooth’s
certainly keeps them in the playoffs. A ho-hum win over struggling Poultry
could cost ‘em the top-seed…Clemson 34 Nuggets 13
#2
Alabama (-14) over AUBURN: Tide 34 Tigers 14
#4
Notre Dame (+3 ½) over #13 STANFORD: Leprechauns have been
lackluster the past few weeks and were sloppy with the ball last week (five
turnovers that almost cost ‘em the game vs. Boston College), resulting in a
spot outside the CFP Top 4 rankings. They need a win here and some help. Last
season, Trees dropped two games in Palo Alto for first time since losing six at
home in 2007. The host in each of the last four years has walked away with the
Legends Trophy, but little voice in Vindy’s head is screamin’ “Our Lady!” and gettin’ more than a FG is attractive…Catholics
27 Cardinal 21
#9
OKLAHOMA STATE (+6 ½) over #5 Oklahoma: UPSET PICK OF DA’ WEEK. Sooners
are arguably one of the teams on fire right now and Bob Stoops will use current
dis about not necessarily being worthy of a playoff spot to motivate his team
going into this contest, despite near-miss against the Horny Toads. State
absorbed first hit on the season by the Bears, who were minus-three miscues and
led by a quarterback playing at less than 100%. After a solid start on defense
that saw pretty-good improvement, Okie State has regressed, coughing up just
shy of 40 ppg to last four opponents. Oklahoma has allowed a little over 21 ppg
game, covered 5 of its last 6 games and seen a like ratio go “over” the total.
Nonetheless, two of last three Bedlams took more than the first 60 minutes to
decide…State 37 Sooners 34
Penn
State @ #6 MICHIGAN STATE: OFF
#12
MICHIGAN (PK) over #8 Ohio State: We salute Jim Harbaugh, already up 12 with
seconds to play and knockin’ on the door again at Penn State, for having the decency
to tell his offense take a knee. All the good
things Coach Harbaugh has done with his new team could be quickly forgotten by
UM alumni with a poor-showing here…at home…vs. a bloodied-opponent…that’s
squabbling within itself (though Urban Meyer offered some vague contrition). If
Big Blue is smart, they’ll prep for a steady-diet of RB Zeke Elliot…Wolverines
34 OSU 27
#14
Florida State (-2) over #10 FLORIDA: Choice here has little
to do with mere-six-point OT victory by the Gators over Florida Atlantic squad
that was being spotted more than four touchdowns last week. Crocs haven’t been topped
in Da’ Swamp this season in five chances after losing half their dozen home
matches in the previous two years. Florida’s offense is not flourishing behind QB Treon Harris and ‘Noles have won four of
last five in the series, with the one loss coming in Tallahassee. UF looked
good in trashing Georgia team that again is not living up to preseason
expectations and Ole Miss club that’s been an enigma…Tribe 23 Florida 16
#11
North Carolina (-6) over NC STATE: Tarheels 31 Wolfpack 20
#17
Northwestern (-3 ½) over ILLINOIS: NDUB 17 Illini 9
#19
Mississippi (-1) over #23 MISSISSIPPI STATE: In a comparison
of common-foes…both scored and allowed fitty or more in one-point-decisions
facing Arkansas and while State’s put five of last six games in the win-column,
Ol’ Miss beat ‘Bama, with Bulldogs losing badly to the Tide by 25 in
Starkville. Rebels smacked A&M by 20. MSU lost to the Aggies by 13. Visitor
hasn’t won outright since 2010. QB Dak
Prescott gives the host a puncher’s chance, but that streak ends here. Egg Bowl
trophy goes to…Mississippi 23 Mississippi State 14
#22
Ucla (+3 ½) over USC: Victor takes the 12-PAC South. Both teams continue to shuttle in-and-out
of the rankings. Bruins have owned this series lately, winning each of the last
three seasons by 10 or more. Ironically, both survived upset-attempts by
improved-Colorado in recent weeks. Following dismissal of Steve Sarkisian, who
won 3 of 5 before his plight, Trojans have gone 4-2 SU under Clay Helton,
including home-victories over Utah and Arizona, but also eating a bad loss at
Oregon. Southern Cal anticipates some previously-hobbled players to be on the
field, but the post-sanction era at USC just ain’t workin’-out…UCLA 27 SoCal 24
BETWEEN
THE HASHMARKS
BTW, The Donald recently proposed “Maybe we should boycott Starbucks?”, right before
imploring fans to also avoid patronizing concession-stands at NFL and NCAA stadiums
countrywide that don’t have the appropriate icons spray-painted in their red-zones! Meanwhile, even music-artist
Helen Reddy (known for her famous
tune “I Am Yuban”) has filed for a
restraining-order to keep “Cup-Gate” fanatics away from her property!
An OSU alum wrote to Urban Meyer, pledging his
three-week-old son’s commitment to da’ Buckeyes (complete with a pic of
said-infant with a pigskin). Coach wrote back, “welcoming” the tiny tot to the
class of 2033. Dad later qualified the statement of loyalty, noting it was
ultimately his son’s choice of
educational institution “as long as it’s not that school up north”.
In NFL news, the Patriots
are at Denver this week, but…in
August, it was revealed that Peyton Manning reportedly thinks the visitors’
locker room at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts contains
hidden listening-devices and refuses to speak with coaches or teammates unless
several shower-heads are spoutin’ H2O and a boom-box is cranked to eleven.
Vindy’s spies have also noted an aluminum foil-lining in Manning’s helmet to
keep da’ Pats from reading his thoughts!
In a clash of Vindicator’s
two preferred pro football teams,
Jameis Winston launched five (count ‘em, FIVE!)
touchdown passes in whacking the bEagles. Winston didn’t get the game-ball, but
was given a gift-card to Publix. Meanwhile, Chip Kelly was
provided a Greyhound bus ticket back
to Eugene, Oregon!
Last summer, MSN
Sports featured the “Downright Strange Hobbies Off Da’ Field” of more than
a dozen professional athletes. Among those, was the Spurs’ Tim Duncan, who
apparently plays Dungeons & Dragons….in
his own cellar…and shows up at Renaissance Fairs….all of which garner much-respect from yer humble host.
Vindy’s spies say the All-Star baller prefers the role of “magic-user” in his
adventuring party. Rumor has it that Duncan possesses a jersey of protection
vs. flagrant fouls, a +1 knee-brace of FG shooting (+2 from beyond the arc) and
a headband of free-throw completion. Duncan’s only worry might be the presence
of officials on the court with similar interests and carry whistles of dispel
magic and flop-detection! Duncan occasionally hits the hardwood sporting a
cloak of protection vs. Hack-a-Shaq, leading his teammates to affectionately
refer to him as Gandalf and Tim the Enchanter! (And for the “Monty
Python & the Holy Grail” aficionados…”There are some who call
meeeee…’Tim’?”). Duncan also performs as the mascot for the Washington Wizards
in his off-time. Karl Malone has a CDL and drives an 18-wheeler! Sing it with
us…”Was the dark of da’ moon on the
sixth of June in a Kenworth..full o’ logs…Pistol Pete with a free-throw on and Da’ Mailman..hauling hogs…”
“Wish
We Had It Back”: Yep, we tagged Colorado +15 ½ over
WAZZOU for this one, noting the Bison may have left it all on the field in
Boulder in narrow 3-point defeat by USC!
“Locked
in a Box?”: The
Middies bashed Tulsa as predicted, bringin’ home just our 4th “lock”
win in a dozen (.333) efforts!
Black
Shirt: We have co-awardees this week. We’re emblazoning the special-T with shamrocks with after Irish quarterback Kizer committed a pair of
INTs inside the BC red zone, as part of Leprechauns’ five (count ‘em, five) miscues, to keep the total-scored
below 42 ½! Getting’ the other fab
undergarment…Iowa kicker Marshall Koehn for missing an XP following a 4th
Quarter TD, allowing Purdue (+21) to cover
rather than simply push for us!
Shoppe
Talk: The Utes solidify their spot at the Shoppe following
loss as 2-point chalk to UCLA for posting 5th forecast loss in past
7 opportunities (.285). We’re adorning the walls with stuffed Rebels and
Badgers in light of 1-4 (.200) slide each for Ole Mist and Wisconsin. The Bayou
Bengals also get an engraved invitation for ongoing 2-4 (.333) demise!
Vindy’s
Week 13 Best Bets: Last Week: 3-4 (And we’re launching our own federal investigation into how UTEP limited potent Weeziana
Tech (-24) to 17 points!) Season:
35-30-1 (.538)
SAN JOSE STATE +7 ½ over Boise State, UMASS +6 ½ Buffalo,
Tulsa -6 over TULANE, Southern Methodist +21 ½ over MEMPHIS, SOUTHERN MISS +6
over Weeziana Tech, Texas-El Paso +2 ½ over NORTH TEXAS, Colorado State -9 ½ over
FRESNO STATE, Arizona State +4 over CAL
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